Dark Souls and Mental Health

[@mridley64]

I think Dark Souls is a lot more attractive to people who are depressed or who have gone through trauma. In a world with no hope and no light, a little guy worth less than nothing fails over and over and over again, but with determination (and perhaps some jolly co-operation), he becomes strong enough to overcome not only the monsters in his path, but also the darkness inside. All to keep the light going just a little while longer.

[@jackblaze69]

beautiful man, this comment needs more likes

[@Biggie3057]

too true, man.

[@rebelpoxy]

Pretty much sums up the great appeal of the Souls games, including Demon's and Bloodborne, and their primary inspiration, Berserk. Their settings provide a very depressing, hopeless and dark world, but despite that, people and characters are struggling every day in these worlds to survive, and in all of that, one man conquers everything.

[@braydenbeattie6434]

dude I never thought about that but it so true

[@DuskAndDawn21]

I suffer pretty bad depression, anxiety, and fairly bad disassociation issues.. honestly darksouls is the only game I can play hours on, or even start up.. I don't know why, I really don't.. but I guess it's the fact that it does kick your ass and you do get over it when you learn the patterns. you get past it and succeed, and eventually you win.

[@Aegon_of_Astora]

As someone who struggles on a daily basis with depression and anxiety, thank you for this.

[@BossDrSample]

Too true Aegon. This is a battle we must fight together, as a community and help each other.

[@codymiller5748]

Aegon of Astora dark souls has teached me how to deal with it

[@dmon83]

why are you so depressed?

[@shinobu6357]

dmon83 why do people have cancer?

[@tayyebmahmood7207]

Shinobu 568 i think the guy was asking for a cause so he can talk you through it

[@rakeyohn222]

Thanks for sharing this.

[@matthewallsopp5067]

I know this is really serious but your name is great

[@rakeyohn222]

+Matthew Allsopp lol. Thanks :)

[@Zadamanim]

I love thoughtful personal videos like this. I've never struggled with suicide, but I can't say I've always had trouble interacting with people. Videos like this help keep me motivated to improve myself and seek understanding.

[@WritingOnGames]

Great video man. Always happy to hear about how games have helped people with depression - it was a big realisation for me too. Also, the hollowing/humanity comparison is far from stupid - I would argue that's the entire metaphor of the mechanic.

[@ShadowIrorriM]

That's the beautiful thing about the Souls series, really. Even Miyazaki himself said it: he doesn't want people to see the games for the suffocating darkness of them, but instead for the immense beauty that stands in contrast to that darkness. Dark Souls is about the beauty in everything and having hope when everything seems to be against you.

[@WritingOnGames]

Thanks, I appreciate it!

[@jmumford1281]

The depression aspect of hollowing is a good idea, but I feel like a more apt comparrison would be that of alzheimer's disease. Great video tho.

[@nicudelpapa4056]

+Writing on Games Yes! I think the same. I see that DS mechanics deliver pretty strong on that aspect.

[@ParagonDS]

Reading through the comments and I can honestly say you guys are the best, I'm so glad we have this corner of KZbin that isn't plagued but can be used as a form of intellectual discussion, sorry I haven't replied to everyone but I've read through them and you all have my full support and as I said you can always turn to us if you are ever in need of a friend.

[@foopa777]

You rock.

[@ahsokatano4687]

i love your vids and wanna say your a strong guy never look down always look UP (SUN BRO'S FOR LIFE)

[@roriksavant]

It's a great thing we have a place to discuss something as delicate and personal as this, you've got a beautiful community around you right now :)

[@smeatyflavor8201]

Thanks for sharing this. It takes some balls to just put stuff like this out there on this wonderful place we call the internet. I'm really amazed at how mature all the comments are here XD. You have a great community here and I'm glad to be a part of it.

[@feresbenhassan5263]

Nice to see a channel where it's discussed and people come together over it. I think most people have gone through mental health either with themselves or loved ones. With me it's loved ones and no one should have to bottle it up and no on should be in such distress they end their life. I've been a bit of a dickhead in the past but I'm trying to surround myself with the right people who've helped. One of the main people has auditory processing disorder, and I make sure I'm there for her and everyone else important to me.

[@UselessNekoGang]

I have social anxiety and a mild case of depression. My spine is in an S shape, I have to wear a back brace 21 hours a day. My childhood dog died recently and I've been worse ever since. She was the one that I spent most my time with because I'm introverted as fuck. Thank you for sharing.

[@CharmandazFawnPrince]

good luck man,

[@qwolf2494]

Hey. It's ok. I don't know if you have chosen to believe this or not but I believe that all dogs have a reason to be with an owner for a time. Then they move on to help someone else. I don't know if that perspective could help but it's helped me through deaths of my pets

[@burgerboss6949]

Shit will get better!!!

[@UselessNekoGang]

Steel Papaya that's fucked, but still pretty funny lmao

[@orangedogservices2918]

I love my boy to death but I know he will pass one day just like everyone I love. what keeps me going it the belief that I shall see them again. it's never goodbye and you will always be friends keep her in your heart always and I'm sure you will see your dog again

[@carterwalters5915]

take care man

[@foopa777]

Hi.

[@haschmormor8431]

+Mr. Nobody Forever you liked metal gear survive?! Dafuq

[@foopa777]

August Lindgårdh I knew this would bite me in the butt, but no my brother liked it for me, and I didn't bother disliking it, I personally hate it so... We cool?

[@haschmormor8431]

Mr. Nobody Forever :/ yeye

[@tayyebmahmood7207]

Ceezy 92 B.A wats goin on?

[@le_explanation]

There isn't enough discussion about mental health. It feels like one of those things where all you can do is turn to each other. I appreciate you making this video, thank you.

[@thechoiceisyours3041]

You're dead right, man. It was such a taboo when I was in school, but I feel like women especially are handling it better than men when it comes to things like body image issues. In the same way women have banded together and raised awareness about breast cancer, whereas men are falling behind with prostate/testicular cancer, women are now doing so much more to help young girls going through body image issues and insecurity crises compared to what we are doing for our little dudes. When I got over my troubles I remember just thinking wow, how can we let so many people go through this alone. Why don't we just talk about it? How did nobody realise that I needed help? Just gotta reach out guys.

[@someperson220]

Well atleast not now when there's people telling other people to kill themselves...

[@thechoiceisyours3041]

Hitori Yeah exactly. I used to turn on a shower and sit in the bathroom if I was upset cause I didn't want my mum to know how I was feeling

[@Magnymbus]

I've always felt that Dark Souls is heavily indicative of a metaphor for all sorts of mental health problems, like Depression, Alzheimer's, PTSD, etc. Especially with the cyclical nature of the world, the eternal presence of the Dark SIgn's leaching hole and the nature of the existence of the undead. Not so much Demon Souls, or Bloodborne though, they're a bit too different.

[@Tullerman]

I wrote a long response to you and youtube deleted it but anyway the symbolism of Gwynavere as the false sun outside of yourself and the dark sign binding you to the first flame is fucking awesome. :) Also the first flame can be likened to the firstborn except the firstborn is who we think we are, our ego and the flame is what it clings to. Solaire always look for his own sun anywhere but inside of himself. bla bla, I want my first post back but it's to long to re-write :(

[@tomd3098]

+ Jeffery Canzani I'm coming to discover there is more allegory in the Dark Souls series than most of us realise! I hope you're finding a light at the end of the tunnel, my friend. I myself am an alcoholic, and will be going in to to detox soon. As Paragon himself says, give yourself credit for taking those first steps!

[@moccus3466]

Bloodborne is about defeating the monster within and escaping to a place of darkness and chaos, it’s about stepping out of your comfort zone into the abyss and overcoming it, because if you’re making yourself feel happy when you’re not then you’re just living in the dream.

[@K12machinima]

I think that I can relate to this in a lot of ways. I had my "snap" at 15, and have never been the same since. I was diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, and about thirty other things after... I'm 22 now, and as the saying goes, "Life doesn't get any easier..." When I was 18, I went on an existential binge, brought on by the Sandy Hook massacre; at the time, it was my last two weeks before being laid off, I lost my house, my family was divided, I'd lost so many friends from my currently-existing depression, and just... I lost it... everything, it felt like... I started to play Dark Souls, more out of the idea that it was over-hyped, to find some mental solace in criticism, and instead was blown away, just by the intro cinematic... I loved the story, I loved the world, I loved the weapon-feel, the attention to detail, just... everything. I finished the entire game in a few days, with no walkthrough, and then decided to look up more into the story, the secrets, and binge-played it, during the most uncomfortable portion of my young-adult life; I had actually relapsed, mentally, and was over-working myself, intentionally, to make my anxiety cease by exhaustion, and was forced by my family and friends at the time to take medication, which, I quit, like in the past. Dark Souls 1 was the thing that kept me from losing my shit, because not only was I starting to speedrun it, try challenge builds out, and learn it like a language - it had made me open my eyes to concepts in it, unlike any game had ever done, because I NEEDED it, like the ideas of immortality, inevitability, bleakness, and actual faith; the only two things in my life that had ever done that were music, and a woman I love. When Dark Souls 2 was announced, I luckily had the day off for its release, and just like the author's story, I was actually excited for something, and it felt like it mattered to me. I was actually disappointed by DS2, because it was a jumbled mess of shit, but I took the days off for the DLCs, and learned it like I did 1, but to a lesser extent. When 3 was first given a date of release... I took the fucking WEEK off, because I'd noticed it was the same development team as 1 and Bloodbourne (which, I actually took the day off for, to go to my friend's house and play with him). Prior to the week off, I suffered a massive system shock... I had a complete, total, mental breakdown, and thankfully, it was the day before my week off started. I went into DS3 in a state of mental ruin, but I think it was what I needed. I beat the game in 2 days, and then beat it 2 times in one sitting, in between doing other things for myself (that was the real main goal of that week, I just wanted to make sure I had a reason to take it off). To show how fucking devoted I was to that game's release, I launched it, the second it was ready, and beat the game BEFORE the frame-rate patch, (like I mentioned above) three times, and enjoyed every second of it. By the end of it, and that week, I felt... better... Stronger, in a good way, despite shortly after it, my car was destroyed (with me in it), I was death-threatened by a lunatic, my spine was screwed up, and my life ruined by stress from work. Now... I know that Dark Souls is just a game, but, the strongest concept that stuck with me, that lured me, was being a Hollow... I related to that concept... and it made me keep going: "I don't want to get back up, but I have to, so it might as well be today..." That was the spark I needed, because I felt like I'd given up on life... myself... and my dreams... "It's not the shit we go through in life that makes us who we are: it's who we are after we walk away from it, and how strong we stand after it..." I hope someone can relate to my short story, because, that's part of what helped me when I was younger: relation, and knowing you're not alone, and that depression and pain is just temporary. It really is. :)

[@PatFagan]

KZbin usually shows my KZbinrs in my What to Watch list that I have already seen, but every once in a while you stumble across a hidden gem like this.

[@trenbolone007]

Minute 5:00 and forward. That's very noble of you to offer yourself for talk and plain ole conversation. I don't how you are, myself being a 40yr old, married with no kids in NYC, not just Dark Souls, but gaming serves as an outlet for the busy lives as well stressful from work, deadlines, coworkers, etc. And yes, even though I PvP and do some random invasions, it's always nice to chat with someone that shares the same interests, hobbies as oneself. So I might take you up on that offer one day, cause you got it right when you said the Internet is a stressful and very dark place these days. Cheers and I look forward to more videos.

[@thechoiceisyours3041]

"40 yr old, married with no kids" are you DarkSoulsPhil? Jokes, you're not alone a lot of people see video games as a form of stress relief. Starting out on number 3 playing Dark Souls has caused me a few moments of stress haha, but overall it's nice to be able to sit down now and again and forget shit. Rage at a dark sword user or something, whatever soothes you

[@trenbolone007]

Hahah.... Got that right when it comes to the DArk Sword.

[@mooganify]

Harry Gallardo yeah dont bother, two years later replying to the comment but I joined the Discord to tell him sorry and well done, personally; but he’s never even there. Yeah, there’s thousands of people, he can’t talk to everyone but I haven’t even seen him there.

[@sanderkiki]

I know that games can help overcome stress, but i think in my situation the obsession with worlds of games is a part of escapism. I stopped caring about myself in all sorts of ways when my dreams of future was crushed, i was kicked from institute and my family kicked me out of home as a useless looser who they hated for it. Since my 20 i renting a small room and work terrible part-time jobs, now to not get into army(it's mandatory in our county) i was in hospital...and it made me cold about everyhing, seeing cadavers everyday, all this people who care only about themselves, the level of corruption in governomental structure. It's filth everywhere, in minds of people...it made me stop living my live outside my small room, my castle where i can be anyone, where i WORTH something and where i can change something and do something that i not hate. I don't have people that can be called friends and i don't like this word itself, i never loved and never expirienced affection to opposite or same gender, all food tastes the same and i prefer eat only when i realise im totally hungry. I spend almost 100% of my free time in front of my monitor or sleeping, spending money only on games, pc upgrade or new consoles. I don't think they help me overcome something or soothe it, it just the only thing that i not despise in this world i think. it's the only time when i feel alive, game series like souls or divinity made me still hold myself and not fall.

[@TheJbiz84]

What country are you from?

[@sanderkiki]

+jesse bedell Russia.

[@TheJbiz84]

+DDkiki Furolo come to America bro

[@shep9194]

Friend, find friends. I promise you there are considerate people in this world.

[@kyzerh8798]

Dam dude. I feel bad for you. I play games when I am stressed. Eventually I forget my homework and it's back to reality. This world is so corrupt. No such thing as freedom in this world. It's just work work and work. Until you go old and eventually pass. I'm 13, this is such a sad thought.

[@MogguSama]

dammit paragon , i came here unprepared for the feels ;(

[@YaBoiHars]

I know right...? I teared up a little bit when he got to how dark souls 2 made him happy. I guess I just related enough to feel what Paragon meant.

[@erikaitsumi7198]

Ikr i cried through the thing

[@dwdusty3600]

same hear I cried near the end but idk why I cried. Lately I have been having chronic depression

[@Refined_Notion]

yeah the sad background music doesn't help :P

[@TheBornageFobbie]

When I was 8, my father was kicked out of the house by my mom because he would come home violently drunk every single night. I never saw anything but I can remember hearing shouting constantly from the main floor of the house we used to live in. Over the years, I've been to several help groups over it. None of those really helped because I couldn't connect. The thing that got me out of that hole was videogames, more specifically the connection they gave me to other people. The first time I had passion, and true pure fun doing something was playing Minecraft with my friends online in grade 8 and 9. Videogames were something I always loved and Minecraft for me was this way to express myself in a safe environment. Really that's what I think ends up being best for people. Not therapy or drug treatment. But having a safe place. Knowing that you have somewhere that you can be at home and be yourself in. That's what I think videogames means to so many people. Why it has become a way of life, more than just a hobby.

[@tamnickyle]

No one cares. And just listen to the first few minutes of this video, he's blaming all of his problems on a video game that he CHOSE to play. He thinks mental illness comes from video games.... What a bunch of bullshit.

[@ekolodz666]

Lel none cares about you and what you say m8.

[@dirtyharry0191]

+PELTS Wow. You're a sack of piss y'know.

[@ryloken4297]

+PELTS What the hell is wrong with you

[@noname-on2fr]

lol pussy

[@themysteriousfigure0]

This probably won't be too bad. "My Dad was murdered" Well fuck.

[@Ang3lUki]

~4 years ago, my older brother died. He was probably the most important person to me in my life. He was the person I always aspired to be. Ever since I haven't felt the same, I really haven't had the motivation to try at anything in life. I just tell myself "What is the point?" I feel like at any point in time, I could cease to exist and it wouldn't matter.

[@zethruun2421]

You have a family. You have people that care about you. I don't think your brother would want you to feel this way. You're life still has a point. Talk to him on discord. He's a really great guy with a lot of wisdom and understanding of the topic.

[@aarongillard2615]

Steel Papaya listen, go to some cod video and rant there

[@Mr.Monky420]

And Dark Souls 2 is a damn good game despite what anyone says.

[@sharp7j]

It's weirdly my favorite. Although I really like Ornstein and Smough too.

[@Er404ChannelNotFound]

I don't even know this channel and I somehow stumbled upon this video, but I gotta say man, you are awesome! I've been through dark times myself in the past, and I really appreciate the effort you're putting to help others who're going through such times right now. I hope for the best for you and whoever you're intent on helping. Keep up the good work!

[@Yggdra666]

Exactly same here. I just found this in my recommendations. I too suffered from severe depression and other things like schizophrenia. At one point in my life I just went down the drain and I did not even care. I managed to get out of all of it only through a miracle and today I am perfectly healthy and happy. So I dedicate my life to helping people who are going through this. I know how difficult it is to do something in such a situation, let alone turn the wheel 180° and help people on top of getting better oneself. Mad props to you.

[@Er404ChannelNotFound]

Yggdra666 Well, turning the wheel 180° and helping other people isn't out of reach in a situation like this. I'm not talking about helping people in the same situation necessarily, I'm just talking about helping people in general. One advice that helped me was to do voluntary work. It really takes a lot to muster the will to do anything when one is put in such a situation, but I pushed through, got out and tried it and it helped me through high school back in the day as I was on the verge of quitting school entirely because of how disheartened I felt to do anything, really. That was around the time I got diagnosed with depression. I just felt like I lost hope in life completely and that nothing could ever give me motivation to keep going, nothing was interesting and human interactions felt shallow even with people I know and care about. I'm happy with my life right now (especially after finding Dark Souls and playing through the whole series, which really helped me tbh. Even helping others with Co-Op feels like I'm doing voluntary work, lol) I've moved on from that, I hope. I can't say that I've completely dedicated my life to helping others quite yet, but I did aim and got into med school for that purpose, so wish me luck. I hope the best for you and those you reach out to, so that one day, they too may reach out for others to help them.

[@thatboooi7693]

same

[@jinn4490]

The Hollowing analogy wasn't stupid at all. In fact I've said the same thing in my own case. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia back in 2011 and I was in real bad shape. It was as if I was losing my humanity and going hollow. It got to a point where I couldn't recognize myself anymore. But I somehow made it back with a lot of help. These days I'm better, but the threat of hollowing is still present. I have to constantly focus to keep my mind from unraveling again. Playing Dark Souls is sort of therapeutic for me in a sense. It actually mirrors a lot of things in psychosis, and it's sort of representative of my struggle with schizophrenia. No matter how many times I've died or fall, I can keep going. And when I ask for death I remember that I'm not alone and that I can find help and understanding out there. So I thank you for making this video. It really hit home with me. Hope you keep up the fight. I know I will.

[@indieastraea5585]

It's beautiful to see how everyone has his story with Dark Souls, this saga is truly life-changing... Keep fighting Jinn, don't give up!

[@HuslWusl]

When you started talking about Dark Souls 2 I almost cried because I had like the same experience with Dark Souls 1. During over 2 years I went through many good and bad times and this game was always there for me. It was just like an escape from reality. Nobody was bullying me or something. I was able to do whatever I want in my very own world. I really loved that you talked about such a serious theme. Its pretty rare to see someone doing so on the internet. :/ I apologize if my grammar isn't on point but English is just my second language. Greetings from Germany :)

[@DryPotatoChipss]

ill be honest i keep coming back to this video because its useful to always remember there are others in situations equal or worst to you and it helps knowing youre not alone wether it comforts you or not.. keep doing you man, take care

[@Grimfaxe]

hey thanks for this man! I do agree with you, its importent to talk about this kind of stuff. It can be tough living with an diagnosis and as you say feel lonley, but if people start to talk they will discover how alike we are, and thus be less isolated. At least it worked for me with my Bipolar, I thought I was "the only one" thinking like that or feeling that way, boy was I wrong! :P

[@Grimfaxe]

Also very happy to have found your channel in this corner of KZbin, and it makes me happy to see the subscriber nr increase! You do deserve it :)

[@Ziggy_Rotten]

I'm in the middle of my "meltdown" at the moment, my father died in my arms with me fighting as hard as I could with CPR, so my body decided that a massive seizure is what I needed. so an intentionall overdose later and I'm in the middle of hell for the time being, but I thank you very much for sharing your story I honestly don't know if it helped, but it's at least nice to know you're not alone.

[@josiahyork8227]

Dude, the mere fact that you were willing to talk about this kind of subject got you my sub. It's not discussed enough, not in an honest matter like in this video, and I think it's pretty down-to-earth for a decently popular channel to talk to their fans on such a personal level. I'm also subbing because I love your voice and I want to hear more.

[@arcaderabbit5064]

It's strange, I have noticed that people who have gone through a lot in their life even at a young age are more caring and open to helping others... Lovely video bud ^^ really related to this from the experiences I have gone through but we all deal with things in different ways ^^ hope you can find true happiness and maintain it bud, I really do ^^ that goes for everyone who reads this!

[@Lady_Vengeance]

I love this community. Take care of yourself man, thanks for sharing

[@mgarza1468]

I'm glad you made this video! we love you brother! you're not alone

[@Jbn0s0rus]

Wow, that was some serious subject. I fight some social anxiety on a daily basis too, and the things that helps the most of the hardest to do, and by that i'm mean talking about it to people around me. There are actually a lot of people that have mental conditions. We're only alone in our heads. And my opinion is that talking to a Dark Souls vet is always good, as we usually share common traits and valors.

[@theycallmebach]

Don't you dare go hollow friends You have a heart of gold. Don't let them take it from you

[@evanpaluch6190]

Too late

[@jemijohnson257]

God Bless you man, great video, please don't you dare go HOLLOW, and have a great day goes to all of you.

[@g21g28]

I had a very similar experience with Bloodborne. In early 2015, I had finished my first semester of college and I was getting ready to go home during vacation to visit my family when I got a call from my mom. She was crying and she told me that my grandfather had passed away. Brain hemorrhage. I talked to her for a little longer but as soon as I hung up I broke down. My grandfather meant so much to me because he had been my father figure. My mom had divorced my dad when I was three and he beat her. I grew up resenting my father while I bonded with my grandpa. Two days before my mom called to tell he died, he sent me a copy of Bloodborne, and said that it reminded him of Lovecraft, which we used to read together. I remember playing the game at my mom's house with her and telling her stories of things we read about and how they were shown in the game. I probably wouldn't have gotten over his death and would've been in a much worse place if it weren't for Bloodborne, and to this day, Bloodborne is still my favorite game ever.

[@raxcop]

I'm glad I started watching you. You're a amazing person. Thank you.

[@ReginaFera]

I've related SO much to the themes of hope, despair, and clawing desperately to keep a hold of yourself even when you can't remember why you're doing so in the first place. I can't help but feel the parallels to mental health and depression in the games was likely intentional and it's one of the reasons I love the Dark Souls series so much. Creating more awareness and a more open dialogue about these issues and experiences is so vital and important. Thank you for making this video and reaching out like this.

[@rollingthunder8630]

Dark Souls, a game where you suffer so much that any real suffering you have in real life seems trivial.

[@xspetz1316]

Or that you're just fucking trash? Dafaq is that point lol? I understand how you ment it but its still dumb and im just triggered.

[@averagedoomenjoyer1232]

That made me burst out a laugh.

[@manostororosso2364]

It's true in a way... For me personally thinking of how I believed orphan of Kos was unbeatable...and now how eazy it feels to parry him and take him down .. I compare every tough real life situation to moments like this and it gives me strength to overcome them, believing in myself like I never could before

[@BIue1624]

you're really brave just talking about this. some big respect to you for doing it.

[@petef.4688]

My dad died when I was 4. Some of my only memories of him include playing the water level of the o.g Mario. I can really really relate to most of what you said. props

[@Saadian]

Been through some shit myself. Depressed since age 4, got out of that at the end of last year (2015). And just before that, I was diagnosed type 1 diabetic myself. Dark Souls 3 was my first proper Souls game, and I've gone back to play the first; but Pokemon and the Ratchet and Clank series are my crutch. Still got some worries from that age of dark in my life, but I'm trying to work through them too. Meditation has worked for me. I hope everyone is okay, and if it's not I pray that the sun shall shine on you.

[@sander8565]

I have depression and I play video games to try to put my mind on something else, but I've gotten more suicidal over the years

[@meunierduhoussoypaul7315]

Hey man I hope you're okay. I don't know much about what you guys are going through, but I hope that you will find some people to help you and that things will ease for you. You are amazing, don't you dare forget about this.

[@shadovvwolfie790]

To be fair depression is pretty common amoungst gamers. Many gamers find comfort in gaming and there is no shame in that. Gaming, reading, movies, anime, ect. All great coping mechanism that can lead to self-provided cures to these sorts of things. But I would love to say afew things about fixing depression itself, from personal experience. 1: You have friends. Never forget or take for granted what you have. 2: Self improvement is everything. Depression is generally self hate. Improve things you don't like. 3: Don't believe your negative thoughts, only focus on improving yourself. 4: don't resist happiness. I spent years telling myself I didn't deserve it and it was a waste. Depression is a serious thing in this day and age and I don't think people who have it can clearly see the options laid out infront of them. No worries I'm talking about actual depression, not the lost wallet one xD I respect this video all in all. I hope it reaches out to people and shows that there are better ways to deal with problems. Best of luck peoples, take care. Feel free to comment on this if you want some advice. Just remember to stay positive and work toward change, improvement and happiness.

[@MartijnTV]

Wow man, heavy story. Keep it up man.

[@tillsommerdrums]

Very nice from you to talk about it. I have worked with people suffering from mental health problems and the biggest problem is that often they want to talk about it but really can't. so someone like you who tells his story gives people energy and hope back. just hearing from someone that tells you "you are not alone" is a big help, so good job on that!

[@matthewallsopp5067]

I am so glad that you are going forward in your life and creating great content, it warms my heart when I join the live stream and see you smiling and trying so hard, great job man, hope you get better and your channel keeps growing and never stops. I'll be there all the way!

[@Elementrius]

You've earned a sub. Something about how you worded what you said really hit home with me, as I am in a similar situation. I'd rather not go into too much detail on a fkin KZbin comment, but thank you man. It felt like I could relate to you on a personal level.

[@alexbleeker2522]

Ive had Some mental health issues. I had a big depression for the last few years. I'm 15 now And ive surpressed all my feelings. Ive lost one of my best friends in the process. She was very supportive But I didn't want to hurt her And in case id do anything rash (as in killig myself) I wouldn't want to hurt her. I pushed her away And in doing that I think I hurt her too. I just wanted to tell my story And it would be great If you das this paragon!

[@alexbleeker2522]

Saw this*

[@stefanovalentini947]

i have obsessive compulsive disorder, and dark souls helped me a lot. and videogames in general, i remember when i was a teen or a child (now im 23 in a few days), and i have a lot of nostalgia of the old times. i'm good with my friends and family now but sometimes i need to escape or be alone with videogames. so glad dark souls helped a lot of people with mental issues. great video man.

[@vrapbrap]

Interesting video for sure, it was a good watch! Actually I had a similar thing with Dark Souls 1 that you had with Dark Souls 2. DS1 was one of the first games after a long time of not feeling much of anything that I managed to be excited about. At the time it was an amazing feeling, being hyped and excited about something after playing Demons Souls. Self improvement is a key thing for anyone with issues of all kinds, a good old internet friend that I got to know from 4chan wayyyy back when helped me get more or less back on my feet and it was quite amazing now that I think about it, we played games together, talked about things in comfy videogame environments, challenged eachother to go out and do things that might help with anxiety and other issues. I think that made me realise how important it is to always try to keep moving forward. Its alright to slump down at times and feel defeat, but much like in many videogames, you just have to get up eventually and keep going forward because good things await those who are willing to see the effort.

[@fat_mason]

I know I'm late to the party, but the way you described how you "snapped" at age 16 perfectly describes my experience. I won't go into too much detail but my brain switched gears for the worst and it happened in the span of a few moments. Permanently. I'm in my mid 30's now and have only just dipped my toe back into healthy behavior. Dark Souls (specifically Dark Souls 3) had such beautiful, quiet, and atmospheric environments. If it weren't for all the dangerous creatures running about, I think the world would be a wonderful place to explore and organize thoughts. I hope you're doing well today, 6 years later. Great video, friend. Big hugs to ya'.

[@fullofmoochabeans6538]

I can't speak for others but depression is what has drawn me into video games... It pulls me into a world and a place where I can be whatever I want to be and the real world is nothing but a dream... It has helped me cope with some bad times and with some help from others and psychiatrists I have found a happy point in my life where depression is a thing of the past... I wish all that struggle with it the best of luck in the uphill battle... Just keep in mind no bad time last forever...

[@boingo762]

As someone who was bullied for about 4 and a half years in school, I now have problems with social interaction and I used to suffer from depression & dark souls is what helps me to take my mind off of something that's happened, whether I did something or someone else did something. I said to a friend "at least I don't have 2 dads and no mum" and what I didn't realise was that his mum had died easier that year but no one had told me or said anything so we got into a fight of sorts and it's still chipping away at me about what I said. This is an amazing video and for all you know, you could've prevented some suicides with this video.

[@PhilTruthborne]

Even if you don't need my pity i still feel very sorry for you. I've had similar experience so i know how hard it can be. I hope for the best for you.

[@REXFORGT]

Thank you so much for sharing this, Paragon. Hearing about others who have experienced the same is a blessing sometimes. I'm 19 years old, and I have this kind of situation right now. I was diagnosed with depression half a year ago, and have been to doctors and all kinds of shit for two years beforehand. I've been sick (mentally) for years. I thought I were getting better this time, but I guess I'm just too optimistic. I always try to do things that I know I can't. A couple of weeks ago, just when school started, I just couldn't do it. Isolated myself, didn't answer the door or any calls (social anxiety, fml) and couldn't sleep for days. I even started wondering if there was another exit, but I know I can't bring me to do something so horrendous, thankfully. I literally can't sleep because how my body shakes of anxiety. I meditate in bed to relieve it. I'm getting help now though. Getting a lot of support from family, and I'm finally gonna get more serious help from psychiatrists and such. Just wanted to get this off my head :)

[@illjudgeyou4301]

I've never gone through this myself. Its really sadening to hear you would have to expierience something like this , so all I can say is try to be happy.

[@Alert556]

You have a very genuine feeling about you when you talk with that soothing voice of yours. I'm extremely happy to have come across your channel, can't really describe that warmth your words caused in me. It is truly comforting to hear how other people have had their share of mental health issues, but it is not the end of the world, and you're not alone. All in all I appreciate you greatly for sharing your mind and having this interaction with your viewers. I wish you all the best, and will surely stop by the stream when i catch you on! Keep on being you!

[@Pizaz0]

this is a great talk, I suffer from some of the same issues. Your never alone in an empty place. Dark Souls helped drive that idea home to me.

[@aAAAAAAAAArghr]

Thank you for making this video

[@Pinefr0st]

I’ve been feeling terribly crestfallen (thank you Miyazaki for teaching me that perfect word in DS1) since my time in the Army. Bad things happened and were done to me that have been a lasting negative impact on my life. The idea of “Going Hollow” was the best way to describe it for me, and even as I write this nearly a decade after completing my military contract, I feel like I’ve been Hollowing slowly. I’ve had suicidal ideations every day for... well over a year now. It’s pretty hard to keep going. The Abyss is always trying to conquer me, pulling away at me and tainting my mind and soul. I appreciate you and how far you’ve come to win victory after victory against the Darkness. Thank you for this video.

[@iota-09]

well nobody wants to see you go hollow, so just keep fighting, doesn't matter if you find it a good thing or not, everyone who played ds1 had to kill sif and quelaag after all, but it was still an experience worth the pain of realizing how sad that was and of how hard it has been for mosto of us, but one needs to keep going, until there's nothing left to fight anymore... and then restart, because that's what keeps us alive, what keeps us from going hollow. in ds as in real life, although for the latter some adjustments need be made here and there.

[@Lowkas]

For me Videogames just help me through anything bad that happened and happens. When my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me, I was mostly sitting in my room and doing nothing at all. I didnt even have the motivation to play videogames. Until I found Dark Souls 3 on my harddrive again. This game just for some reason helped me out of my depressive stoup. I even got to know a girl irl and I dont know. Shes very sweet and I enjoy ever moment shes with me.

[@loganoates6683]

Good luck to you man! I'm happy a game like Dark Souls was able to help you!

[@Lowkas]

May I thank you, kind sir.

[@loganoates6683]

You may..my good man!

[@Kohbra22]

Hey paragonDS, I enjoy dark souls and i was skimming through some dark souls video randomly while feeling kinda overwhelmed by some silly things that I have been worrying about in my life at the moment. The title of your video caught my attention and I listened the whole way through. I have been fortunate enough in my life to have had it kinda easy and now I am older and I am able to cope with anything that comes my way in a healthy fashion because i grew up with a great emotional foundation. I have to admit I got kinda choked up watching your video and listening to your story. I am glad that you are pushing through and bettering yourself. You sound like an awesome person and are inspiring even to those who have been lucky enough not to grow up with much adversity. What I am trying to say is thank you for making this video and being brave enough to share your experience. I am sure it has reached many regardless of their situations. I wish you the best in your life and I hope you can understand how much your work does touch people and help them.

[@EepySouls]

I'm type one dude I feel u

[@ShinobiFox1980]

Dark Souls is a game which teaches you about survival. For all that you die, you spend your time learning in game to survive. It is bleak, grim and tough, but as you progress you learn to overcome each challenge. It teaches you to grow. It is very much like fighting anxiety and depression, it is tough, grim and bleak. But by overcoming the difficulties both in game and in real life, you get the reward of life. My most recent bout of Depression and Anxiety came last year and this year. Throughout the whole, I have been playing Dark Souls and Dark Souls II. I think for the right type of person, Dark Souls can really help with that struggle.

[@RJinthematrix]

i took a wrong turn, i was hoping to hear an idea that the world of dark souls might be someones imagination or nightmare

[@RJinthematrix]

oh also, the evidence for genetic basis for type 1 diabetes is limited at best and has nothing to do with the passing of your fatehr

[@joshuarobertson9148]

straight savage but true

[@GrimAsythes]

it's nice having someone talk about depression and what it's really like not this bull shit about being sad all the time but actually struggling to feel anything. at least that's how it was for me when I suffered with it

[@dickpayne1172]

2 serius 4 me. cannot deal. But seriously tho... i guess i can relate. Though, doesn't every teenager out there claim to have depression? Making it very difficult to determine serious cases.

[@cirinaharvey1466]

Watched this 5 years after and i got to say. This actually hit me harder than Smough. Dark souls as a series has massively helped me through my Bi-Polar. I don't know what it is but these games are therapeutic. As strange as it sounds. You got the Stage designs of the first game. The beautiful colours and PVP of the 2nd game and the Deph of the third game. Thank you for your story Para.

[@mightytaco123]

I hate my parents. They took the joy out of my life with emotional and physical abuse. I was also bullied for a long time in my life because of my lisp and high pitched voice. How I can across darksouls was my moms friend gave me his xbox with darksouls in it and I absolutely fell in love. Sometimes I'd put the game on and just sit by the crest fallen warrior and just imagine myself in the game sitting and listening to the music. What I loved about the game was the atrophy and that everyone always dies. I didn't choose to light the fire. I chose to put it out to give everyone rest.

[@mightytaco123]

I've gotten better over the years and recovering from depression. I have a job and tryin to move out of my grandmas house I'm almost there. :)

[@MaxSabbath_]

hope you're feeling alright.

[@masemagohma1910]

Steel Papaya dude, fuck off. What possible purpose did that comment serve?

[@masemagohma1910]

Steel Papaya but WHY? Just because you don't care doesn't mean nobody does

[@masemagohma1910]

He wrote it because he felt compelled to share his story, mate

[@sirdanzig4412]

As a licensed mental health therapist and massive dark souls fan, I really appreciate this video. Thank you for sharing your story with the community. This community is here for you as you've provided so much to us.

[@sirdanzig4412]

Also Paragon (or anyone else), if you have any questions about mental health or just looking for some info, please don't hesitate to message me. I can't ethically provide any therapy for anyone (as both a personal and professional rule) but I would love to provide education where I can or even relate some Dark Souls concepts and characters to mental health issues :)

[@CAepicreviews]

I thought this was going to be about going hollow and relating it to dementia - so a bit surprised by this. But as someone with PTSD and Bi-Polar Disorder, I'm glad to see you could tell your story. I've told it to a total of 1 person In over 6 years. Best thing that has helped me with this is religion and medication. I hope you get better in time. Take care Paragon.

[@ZeroTheHeartlessKing]

i thought you hated the gods havel :O all jokes aside i do hope everything is going well with you^^ (and for the record i thought the same with the name of this vid XD)

[@CAepicreviews]

ZeroTheHeartlessKing I was a bipshop, remember?

[@ZeroTheHeartlessKing]

Havel The Rock what about all that sneaky occult weapon you had in your room, they are used to fight against the gods

[@CAepicreviews]

ZeroTheHeartlessKing For Seath.

[@ZeroTheHeartlessKing]

Havel The Rock *slams hands on my desk and points my finger at you* OBJECTION, if that is the case then shouldn't it be a lightning? not occult

[@johnsafox2]

The Souls games definitely have a therapeutic effect on my mind. It's hard to nail down exactly why that is, but I think it's a meditation through tedium kinda thing. The repetition can be relaxing while the challenge focuses your thoughts. Sometimes the need for my mind to just shut the fuck up can be paralyzing. Torturing myself with Dark Souls seems healthier than agonizing over painful memories or worrying about the future. All I'm saying is, I can relate. When your mind goes into self-destruct, even the briefest moment of relief can give you hope and help you remember that your mind isn't always an awful place to be.

[@sain2530]

*idubbz falls on wheelchair* I have crippling depression

[@iantheman42]

You're an amazing person m8, people like you keep this world going. It takes a lot of strength to openly talk about life struggles and reach out to others. Truly heart warming :D

[@Lumaz001]

Damn onion cutting ninjas

[@Lumaz001]

Steve Knight lol

[@2KEdward]

I have just watched this video even though it's already one year old and I must say: great job. I think that throughout gaming in general, Dark Souls seems to have a specific attraction towards people who have mental issues, because they learn that failure is needed to progress, but that it is important to keep progressing! As you state: a permanent solution to a temporary problem is not going to help, thanks again for restating this. Great video and I love your channel. Cheers

[@tamnickyle]

Remember, this is a video from a guy who uses the Gotthard Twinswords. Just take anything he says with a bit of skepticism....

[@Blittsplitt5]

are you serious

[@aghadmtl]

its a joke dont get your panties in a twist lol

[@smol_hornet613]

As controversial as this may be, this absolutely tasteless joke managed to put a broad smile on my face, even after a feels-trip like this. Thank you.

[@BimdoeDoll]

don't forget tears of denial

[@saoshyant4329]

I haven't been subscribed to your channel for long by any means, but this video is one of my favorites. I'm dealing with depression myself right now. I've never had a history of mental illness or anything, and I'm sure the reasons I'm depressed are less significant than what you went through, but just hearing someone else talk about how they feel and how they're dealing with it and improving themselves is just so inspirational to me, and really helps me to look at my own life through a different lens than I have been. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. This video means so much to myself and many others.

[@umbra9577]

i feel the exact same, i was looking up why i felt this way last night, how do i deal with this? I'm wasting away in my room playing ds3 and cod, i always figured it was a coping mechanism but it's so out of hand now

[@thechoiceisyours3041]

Have you tried getting into athletics? It might just be that you can't get that same relaxing feeling playing games as you used to cause you don't mix it up or you played too much. Go swimming or something if you've nothing else to do, if you can find somewhere you can really just swim up and down and think on your problems and then let them disappear in a jaccuzi or steam room it'll do you a world of good. Problem of course is it might cost you so weigh up the cost to reward. Some people find going to the gym is also a good way to relax, something tells me you'd find it enjoyable. I used to worry I'd look like shit compared to people in the gym but it's honestly full of people of all sorts of body types and there's no judging. Look into it maybe

[@umbra9577]

+Shadow of Intent i used to skate a lot, like my life was skating, but it slowly declined and i want to start again because i know it will be good for me but i just don't have the motivation and i don't have shoes i can run at the moment

[@umbra9577]

+Umbr6 also shadow of intent slays

[@thechoiceisyours3041]

Umbr6 My cousin used to skate I don't know what happened to him though. He also gave it up as well as martial arts and now he's feeling it weight-wise. If you don't wanna get into it immediately or don't have the gear there is stuff you can do in the mean time to keep active. I remember there was this one program a guy designed for businessmen and women who wouldn't have access to kit abroad, but it helped me a lot because I was embarrassed to go out and do something cause I thought if people knew I was trying they would wonder why I didn't look like those guys who've been working out for years. Hide in your room or basement or garage and just bang out some pushups or crunches or something if needs be, but I think you could definitely work back up to skating again even if its not just yet. I should have probably tried skating you know, skating is cool.

[@umbra9577]

+Shadow of Intent I'm not overweight but i don't wanna say I'm super in shape but i just need some motivation i guess, that's my biggest problem is no motivation

[@Cynnamynnt]

I've had a similar idea for a video like this for years, but never really gathered the courage to actually articulate it. You have a lot of respect from me for being willing to talk about these types of things, especially in front of an audience as large as yours. As someone who has dealt with severe depression, burnout syndrome, and paranoia, I feel a lot of these things and it's definitely really hard for me some days. You mentioned you had gotten type 1 diabetes, and it was after you had suffered a lot of stress, and I want you to know that exact same thing happened to me. When I turned 23, a few months later I was diagnosed with it, and it had honestly come out of nowhere. Since then I've taken complete control of it, and the weird thing is it seems to have just vanished, and weirdly enough it coincides with how much stress I've been feeling. Things are finally getting better for me and I'm far less stressed than I used to be, and I think that might be what it was. Again, infinite respect for this video. Definitely one of the best dark souls content creators out there, and content creators in general. I can't wait to see your channel grow even more :)

[@RomanowRomanow1]

aside for getting laid and spending money on passing time in a most pleasant and possible way there is actually nothing to life, everything else is an illusion

[@roblaquiere8220]

Illusions are real too. If they weren't, then why can I see them?

[@RomanowRomanow1]

of course they appear to be real

[@stoneymaloney2416]

I have nearly the same backstory, when I was 4 my mom was killed by my father, I had to live with my aunt and uncle, I was young so I was not affected mentally, but my brother and sister were in a big way. I then got type 1 diabetes just like you only much sooner, I haven't had ptsd (god forbid) but thanks for putting up this video it means a lot to me that I'm not the onky one with a similar problem. Dark souls helped me forget about my problems especially when I was expelled from my school for being blamed for something I didn't do (free with gold is the best) so again, thank you

[@WandererXavier2016]

I love when KZbinrs put themselves on a level plane with their subscribers. Thank you paragon for making me think wish we could talk personally. I'd love to hear your... life as well of if you'd hear mine heh... alas the internet is a big place and i hope one day you over come your struggles as I pray one day I get over mine :) (sadly this video is over a year old ;-; so you'll never see this comment heh..)

[@dutty1549]

Sometimes these videos are the kind I really need to hear from other people. I've had my fair share of shit like you or anyone else and feel alone a lot and isolate myself a lot which is ironic but people aren't exactly great in this day and age. I haven't got the strength in me to talk to people or the people who want to hear my voice, nor do I think my problems matter because there's always something far worse like yours. So thank you for this. Reminds me that I'm human.

[@chaosDEJhead]

I liked that comparison :)

[@christyp3853]

Wow I’m so glad I found your video. I have suffered from major depression for a large part of my life and more recently from anxiety and insomnia. It’s funny because Dark Souls has helped me so much too. I haven’t gone through the kind of experiences you describe, but I understand how you feel. It’s so refreshing when I find another person that understands.

[@Thebeancrusader]

this comment section makes me feel less alone. hopeful. flame...dear flame.

[@Lyyrai]

I struggled with social anxiety disorder for years - I felt sick leaving the house and anxious when surrounded by people. Upper secondary school was horrible to me, especially the time when I had a panic attack in the middle of performing a speech. It was horrible, and I couldn't attend school for two weeks after that. But with therapy, taking care of myself and through videogames I can finally leave the house not feeling anxious. Through videogames I met people who had gone trough same situtations and made me happy.

[@vinniehatcher664]

Is it bad to say I have Asperger's?

[@ladevotee8496]

No it's not bad. I have it too and it doesn't effect people that much

[@vinniehatcher664]

Well, here's why I think it's bad for me: I procrastinate a lot.

[@ladevotee8496]

+Vinnie Hatcher yeah I do too but I learned to stop after a while

[@BossDrSample]

It's not bad.

[@Zambezi_]

My friend has aspergers and he's fine so it ain't bad

[@pineapplepawnch523]

I added more positive things into my life no matter how small they were. Waking in the morning and telling myself it will be a good day no matter what or at the very least better than the last. I lit lavender candles to relax, I took short walks during the day, I set physical challenges for myself through exercise just to feel that proud accomplished feeling. I cleaned the entire house to have an positive organized environment to cut stress. I meditated after hot showers and sometimes during with a little shower stool thing I got from a random store. Showers trigger a nice relaxed feeling for most and meditation took it to another level with me. I used to beat myself up and blame myself for everything, but I slowly stopped that cause the world is already kicking me while I'm down and I refuse to do it too. You have to want to feel good, you have to fight, you have to endure with everything you have and more. Eventually you will find inner peace and mental stability as long as you stay on your path to happiness no matter what setback comes your way. It's ok to feel defeated as long as you keep your will to fight and move foward so you can improve. Don't run from what you feel, face it with everything you got and you will develop the strength to manage all forms of negativity in your life.

[@EpicAMV911]

I have crippling depression.

[@hussain3290]

I was diagnosed with type1 diabetes when i was 12 Hurray for fellow sugar lover! No but seriously, i went through a couple of stressful years... And it sucked, but I eventually found out that it isn't worth it to just live your life in sadness, you can't be happy for ever, i know that for a fact, but you also don't wanna spend all your years in sadness, everyday's a blessing, be thankful for it.

[@hussain3290]

Not stressful, i meant depressing*

[@Ribboppity]

Gotthards? You sure you don't have cancer instead of PTSD?

[@aternialaffsalot]

classy

[@fartchamber12]

Git. Gud.

[@RandomNameGenerator69]

its a joke, i do have ptsd but also, sense of humour.

[@thatguyatthehamburgerstore2221]

Haha, it's nice to see one of these once in a while. It really brightens up the seriousness of this video.

[@chaoswolf1999]

+Cal Calisidus it's a joke, stop being so pc you're not going to make yourself feel better about yourself, let alone get any poose.

[@choppedsuey2113]

I really appreciate when people speak about their depression. Hearing someone express the same feelings you have can be really therapeutic.

[@johnadams8647]

Marijuana in modestly small doses might help. Less addictive and less dangerous than the legal meds you have already taken for treatment I promise you

[@lac0tr0n80]

just found this video and i can just say that listening to this video has made me look back on how far I've come with my mental health. i may not have come far but i am getting ever so closer to at least being somewhat happy. all my mental problems from my Asperger's to my social anxiety and depression have been pulling me down into dark thoughts and drastic actions. but after a while i started getting better and just from watching this video, it's made me realize that i might just get through this. so thank you Paragon.

[@picklepum_the_crow5001]

I ... I want to say: thank you. I am speechless. we are with you \[T]/

[@ahawkone8850]

As a passing viewer that doesn't follow the channel closely, I wanted to say thank you for being willing to share. I know several folks who suffer from PTSD and other related things who are unwilling to share for fear of being stigmatized and because they do feel alone. I imagine just by saying what you're saying you'll help far more than just one person take a step towards realizing that they aren't alone, which is one more towards getting help (or believing that the help can help). Around 10:45, your comparison to Humanity and Hollowing isn't stupid. It's spot fucking on. Humans have been telling stories and relating to them far far far longer than any historical record will ever show. Stories are written so that the rest of us can relate to them, find meaning in them, and understand something about ourselves that we might not have without them. It doesn't matter if the story is good, bad, true, false or somewhere in between. A stories validity is measured simply by it's ability to reach someone, in some way, for any reason. Dark Souls as a series draws heavily from ancient mythologies, which were in themselves an attempt to explain life on a fundamental and philosophical level. It isn't surprising that tangible, real world, connections would be found in these games. Personally I've always thought that Hollowing and Humanity (and the taking of it via combat) were excellent metaphors for how life and other people impact a given person on a day to day basis. See, I work in an office environment and I talk to people every day who are at various stages of "Hollowing" and "Humanity Restored" and I can see it clearly. I see it clearly because the concept was introduced to me in Dark Souls and I thought about it and wondered about it, and in that process came to see it both in myself and in other people. Even the DS2 Crowns DLC and the fact that after you have them, you don't hollow, is a metaphor for conquering life and the challenges it throws at us. These and a litany of other reasons are just some of why this series has been very close to my heart since the first time I heard the story of Lords overthrowing the Dragons. I apologize if this got a little long winded, but I wanted to say thank you again for being willing to share your story. Things like this are what give people faith in humanity as a whole, and you're part of that.

[@emulation2369]

I have some of it myself.The strangest thing, that a lot of people just afraid to talk about it even when you want just to discuss it...I was in a really bad shape for about 4 years,had huge health problems,and I had those "funny thoughts"(Also I couldn't even take a walk outside my house,or even get up from a bed,I was that depressed), I was afraid to share this,and when I shared it with my loved ones and friends I received a lot of support.It helped me to find this motivation not only to exist,but also to start building my future.And my grandmother ones sad to me "everything in this life have a tendency to come to an end" - it may sound depressing,but it shows you how the life works,it means that you should learn how to "sail on the waves of life",there always be a good and bad moments of your life,that you could and should embrace and live throught,because we only have one life,it's like to win a lottery.So I know,that every shitty moment of my life won't be last for ever and when it ends,I'll meet new people,or find something new and interresting for me to do,because there is always something ahead.Life has almost an infinite numbers of possibilities for you to be better,"grow up" and learn something new. And also "Detachment" is a great movie)

[@vexether5411]

Welp... This video has just influenced me to share my experiences with suicide and death in general. I think I was between the ages of 10 and 13 if I remember correctly that I lost one of my uncles to suicide. I also lost one of my grandmothers and both of my grandfathers due to natural causes years later. It didn't affect me much when they succumbed to the embrace of death, but around 5 years after my uncle died (also after my grandmother and one of my grandfathers died), while I was at school, something inside me just snapped. I started crying out of nowhere. I randomly started thinking of those three and their deaths. It finally hit me. Hard. Maybe the reason why I didn't mourn the way I should have when they died was because I wasn't that close to them. I never saw them much. I've gotten through it though, thanks to the help of my family, games, and KZbin, and I'm actually grateful they died in some way. Their deaths taught me pain. Emotional pain. I still miss them every day. but I strive on and try to better myself as a person. Life and death are intertwined in an eternal battle. The world can be cruel at times, but you have to appreciate what the world DOES give you. None of you are alone out there. Just reach out to someone for help when you feel lonely and down in the gutters. Stay strong, and you will prevail.

[@aqdjbcr]

I lost my best friend to suicide and can remember sitting unable to move in class without being able to even pay the most basic attention to the things going on around me. I cannot imagine what you have gone through and I'm glad you seem to have come through the darkness and found yourself. As others have said dark souls deals with complete disparity and truly dark motifs and stories and I think that it helps to turn that into a positive/fun experience in the mind of someone who has gone through serious depression. I appreciate the video and hope it can help people.

[@alex-vs4jv]

Thank you so much for this video. I've been really struggling with depression and anxiety for over a year now, and hearing someone say I'm not alone is so reassuring and meaningful.

[@_1More_]

you're the man brotha and I can relate to alot of what you're going through and have been through. depression is the scariest thing for me. taking perscription drugs to make me feel "better" those were the darkest days of my life. had some real thoughts of suicide and one night I came so close to doing it and I always look back and think "wow, I am so glad nothing serious came of that night" and made me feel very thankful for the people in my life. I still go through depression every day along with anxiety, but I'll tell you what, I can deal with it much better than in the past and I had that same feeling with dark souls 2. that was my first souls game believe it or not and I played for the first time early last year. ever since then 90% of the time I play video games are and have been the souls series. hell I bought a ps4 just to play bloodborne. literally only had bloodborne for it because of how great souls 2 was. good video, I don't think everyone is aware of how serious depression is and alot of people always think it should be easy to snap out of it. you can't just do that. it's always good to be open but God damn I just can't. on the Internet is one thing but in real life I am the most close minded person. keep up the good work man.