Dating in NYC Sucks.. 💔 Why ? (Advice From NYC's #1 Dating Coach)

[@HereBeBarr]

What do you think of this style of interview video? Do you think dating in NYC is frustrating/hard? Check out my other NYC Playlists linked down below: NYC Tips Playlist: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hX6zl6tsgt16btE NYC Things To Do Playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PLb_xU7RWYGbbYm1SHo4FjwcpNvefdPlFv SUBSCRIBE HERE: bit.ly/2ddsVMs Support The Channel: WANT $40.00 off your first Airbnb stay?: bit.ly/2keuwJf TAKE 10% Off your Booking.Com Reservation: booki.ng/2oCFDfg One Time Channel Donation/Tip: www.paypal.me/herebebarr CONNECT- FOLLOW ME ON IG: instagram.com/here.be.barr FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER: twitter.com/herebebarr LIKE US ON FACEBOOK: facebook.com/herebebarr

[@Ab-pj8hh]

Sounds a lot like London

[@9999_damage]

This was a cool vid. Hope to see more in this style !

[@Slash-is3yu]

Here Be Barr You need to do a video over how you met Adriana.

[@dufgbd21]

A girl i went out with this week that i met on the "apps" said she loves to go on dates every day because she gets to order fancy dinners and never pay for them, she followed up by saying and laughing in a very cocky manner that she hasn't paid for a dinner yet this year. I promptly told her that there is a first time for everything and today is that day. I went to the bathroom, washed my hands and took the back exit to my car. NYC dating can really, really suck.

[@HereBeBarr]

😶

[@EmpressHatshepsut]

The fact that she said that aloud is cringeworthy.

[@cinyaca]

Dear Men, Stop letting women use you!!!! STOP IT!!!!!!

[@zero1188]

@@HereBeBarr cheaper dates vet out those loserz

[@kotaani2934]

Thank you for not being a sucker

[@sallunetta7333]

I've been living and dating in NY all my life. The only thing that sucks is if u drive, there is always traffic. Unless u date between 1 and 5am. Other than that, no problem dating at all😊😊😊

[@HereBeBarr]

Hahah

[@Krist_Mal008]

Sal Lunetta do you to bars to date women or cold approach on the streets?

[@rohidnablayy6060]

Sal Lunetta are there many young Italian guys in nyc?

[@sallunetta7333]

@@Krist_Mal008 I'm old fashioned so yes....I rather meet in the street, a store or somehow in person

[@sallunetta7333]

@@rohidnablayy6060 yes there are. But there are also A lot of every type of guy too.

[@a200tq1]

(Sorry for my English I am from Russia originally ) Guys-things you are describing in this video you can easily apply to any big city. I was born and grown in Moscow-and I can apply every part of your video to the Moscow situation. Typical Moscow girl will absolutely not mess with you if you 1) Don't have at least 120000$ year income (for the US it's about 400-500k) 2) Don't have an expensive modern car, such as a BMW 5-7, Mercedes e-s and so on. 3) You don't have apartments in a good part of the city. 4) Most expensive cellphone, shoes, outfit. Horrible, yes? But good news-there is a very big amount of non-typical girls, and you can be very lucky with them) So trust me-just keep trying to date (not even date just start some conversation) everywhere-underground stations, malls, streets-don't be shy! Very soon from the first glance, you will realize is this girl has some potential or not, is it worth it to spend your time and efforts or not) Not only for NY-for any big city. BTW if you really want to have some hard-time-dating experience-welcome to Florida, it looks like it there is 1 girl for 10 guys, and this one girl is not that...hm...pretty))) Good channel, find it today and of course subscribe on it))

[@Krist_Mal008]

I literally thank you so much, i was on the hunt mission in NYC manhatten in soho and washington square park today but i was always anxious got two numbers but i was dying some girls i said hi did not even say hi back that was rude, i say do u have a min they dont respond at all and always in a hurry, they are scared like if i was about to attack them

[@eviljack]

“Women in New York suck!!!” -men in NYC. “You have women??” -men in San Francisco

[@bigtravis6159]

Dating in the city sucks because every woman thinks ya gonna spend $150 on drinks and taxi Show up with a bottle and order Chineese otherwise see ya honey

[@Deshawn144]

Word I was dating a girl from Marcy never again way too sexual it was discussin

[@EnoI539]

@@Deshawn144 it's a shame woman forgot about modesty.

[@TheRealSaintNickNorthside]

4/5ths of the reasons, with small spaces being the 1/5th, are reasons that are not NYC specific. I live in Denver, and the same problems exist. Too little of real community, coupled with extremely high standards, creates permanently single individuals. I think internet dating has made things a million times worse, for a multitude of reasons.

[@HereBeBarr]

Say it ain’t so Santa 😂

[@rubygreta1]

Here is some advise. Move to Astoria. The rent is cheaper and the food and subways are great. If you meet someone who lives in Manhattan and she won't date you because you live in Astoria, she is bad news. Had you lived in Manhattan she might have said yes, and you would be dating a real snob who you don't want to end up with. On the other hand, if she doesn't mind at all and is interested in exploring Astoria, you may be onto something.

[@xeniastephenson8076]

I understand with the distance. I dated ppl in Jersey before and I live in Harlem n most times they dont wanna drive down to the city. You think that's hard. Try dating as a immigrant and everyone think you want to marry them for papers or because you are young and you want to finish school first or if you decide to take things slow and after a few dates they want sex, or as you tell a guy you can cook he wants you to cook for him. It annoys me so much. I jus walk around happy and single caz I'm over it

[@MarcPagan]

Are you kidding?..........If you're a man with a pulse, and knuckles don't drag on the ground ...Manhattan has the most amazing nice-girl-per-square mile concentration in America That said...it also highest the highest concentration of ...ah..unique girls too Separating the wheat from the chaff is a man's work :) "Be happy in your work" Bridge over the river kwai

[@jbass_1993]

Funniest moment of this video is Jon says “I went out with this girl once, maybe twice...” *pauses for a second and realizes Adriana will watch the video* “...WHEN I WAS SINGLE. IM MARRIED NOW”

[@wolfhawk1999]

I live in Chicago. This is SO fucking accurate for Chicago. People have super high standards and value Independence over starting a family. That's why I'm moving. Too hard to find a good person in Chicago.

[@HereBeBarr]

Good luck with your search

[@Krist_Mal008]

I have been cold approaching alot here in NYC, but only receiving Flakes and Ghosting Women are fuccin Shallow n filthy here Wish i can move somewhere down south

[@xeniastephenson8076]

Me too I hear men there are so nice. I bet the women are too

[@TheCannonball79]

It’s amazing how little dating has changed over the last 35 years in NYC in general and Manhattan in particular. We used to call some folks outer borough phobs or mocked the Bridge and Tunnel crowd. Today There are people I haven’t seen in 13 years because I moved 4 miles away in the same borough. We are always too busy living our life to make the extra effort.

[@HereBeBarr]

Lol.. yeah dating between boroughs is considered a long distance relationship.

[@youp9543]

I lived in NJ and we were known as the bridge and tunnel crowd which included Staten Island, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, Long Island and the Upstaters and the people from CT.

[@BudFuddlacker]

Yeah, we all saw Boiler Room bruh

[@carbon-structure]

I tried dating for a couple of years and NY is a dumpster fire full of mostly terrible people, I totally understand where folks are coming from. For guys especially it's expensive and humiliating. Then I met a lady at a bar that happened to live 4 blocks away and the rest is history (now moved in and engaged). I know I'm one of the very lucky ones, but I'd still advise to get your life together, be present and happy with yourself, know what you want first and foremost and give yourself the best chance to find a fitting partner. You might just find they've been standing near you the whole time :)

[@ritaaleksandrovna4518]

So you moved into HER place? 😅

[@carbon-structure]

@@ritaaleksandrovna4518 no, she moved into my apartment and now in a mountain houses I have upstate. Though we've married since and she owns them now too :) I totally stand by staying single in NYC and waiting for an organic connection, people are kidding themselves if they think they can treat relationships like a business (aka: online dating and hookup apps)

[@ritaaleksandrovna4518]

@@carbon-structure oh I thought you moved into her place. Good for you for taking care of your woman 💯

[@Mokh7777]

That’s great, so happy for you. As a man what advice do you have for women who come across Wall Street traders as potential dating?

[@xfactor1497]

I would assume because everyone is always on the go and either working or completing personal projects. NYC seems like the kind of place where you have to come with someone if you don't have a lot of time once your there. I just want to make it there and be successful, with or without someone else, hopefully a nice lady will follow though lol.

[@travelsaddict8952]

Human values are better than money value.

[@denisemitchell8477]

Gday luv As a New Yawker I prefer non New Yawkers.. Long Islanders and folks from Ct..are more laid back.

[@HereBeBarr]

I always found people from the tri-state area about the same level of laid backness. But yeah it depends.

[@bigtravis6159]

How bout capital city guys Hit me up

[@Deshawn144]

I prefer non south jersey people I reside in Atlantic City 🌃 and the women are shitty and it’s like they stuck in a box 📦 and don’t care to expend themselves we no longer have a community we have a strangermunity sadly I’ve always considered myself a New York guy tho I ♥️ an all Jersey just not my cup of tea ny is where I want to be💯

[@colorfulcodes]

And Westchester folk, basically new Yorkers who got tired of the city.

[@CommandoMaster]

I think NYC could be a good place if you're just starting out dating, and want to practice approaching girls. At least if you get rejected, there's a lot more girls out there, and most likely you won't get recognized/encounter the same people, unlike if you live in a small town, and you mess up, everybody will know who you are and gossip about you.

[@Iceman219]

Lack of community shouldn't be a problem because that forces people to get together and make things happen or else they'll be alone. The transient nature of NYC is a huge advantage.

[@edvaira6891]

This was a very interesting topic for you to do, as a newlywed! I’m just so damn lucky i never ended up having to date all that much (met my wife as a college freshman) because IT SUCKS EVERYWHERE!

[@BillKing3456]

Was interesting to me because I’ve experienced ‘interboro’ and NYC-Long Island dating which were had the disadvantages of a long distance relationship (inconvenience & loneliness) without the advantages (totally different scene = more exciting). Most of the NY area is the same - same climate, same accents, same high cost of living, more same than different. I thought the discussion of values was interesting which made me think about really how shallow a lot of peoples’ values are - always thought it was an LA thing where people judge(d) u by your car but really NYC is a pretty shallow place from a dating perspective - what nabe u live in or how much u make/what u do for a living r all pretty shallow things & don’t say much about who u really are. I would encourage people to date people not just from but in different countries for a real change of pace. It will get u away from the ho hum stuff like neighborhood, money, car, etc. and put the focus more on just u (and your real qualities) and on the other person and theirs.

[@athenathegreatandpowerful6365]

Because Life in NYC is transient and ppl of late expect a life partner to happen on Date 1. Yeah RIght.

[@Jimbodisfan]

An apartment so small that you need to leave it to change your mind?

[@xeniastephenson8076]

😂😂😂 so funny. Matches box apartments

[@Jahwil212]

Also I own a 2200 Sq ft apartment in lower Manhattan. I am 6’3. Mid 30’s. Workout 5-6 days every week. Work in finance and these chicks still blow me off all the time. I’m just not good enough for most of them. (Maybe it’s because my hairline is receding)

[@xeniastephenson8076]

😂😂😂 no it's not that its because you're too funny lol

[@Mokh7777]

wow howcome? b/c of these women's own status or something?

[@seansoraghan3245]

Take the red pill

[@zero1188]

Its your personality

[@JS-it3dx]

It's downright demoralizing man. They have so many options that you have to be perfect to stand out. I'm a 28 year old legitimately handsome attorney living on the UWS, but I'm only 5'9, so I get ghosted.

[@JayJayFromAZ]

Where I live a bag of Hot Cheetos and a can of Soda will get you a date!!

[@steves1749]

Send me the address

[@JayJayFromAZ]

Just come to the Navajo Rez with a truck load of Hot Cheetos. 😂😂.

[@summerbreeze5758]

Gotta be a middle school or even elementary cuz ain’t nobody that dumb

[@9999_damage]

I think some of us are willing to cast a wider net than others.. I live on Long island and work in NYC, and I'm open to getting to know someone from any borough, NJ, and LI. CT might be too far tho 😬

[@Deshawn144]

9,999damage NJ is not that far 😂

[@9999_damage]

@@Deshawn144 lol it's a whole other state tho

[@Deshawn144]

9,999damage that ish don’t matta I mean New Yorkers come To South,North jersey like Crazy I believe they can commute and work it out that’s lazy talk shit Fam, that’ sounds like u only see ny no this if God Is in tha Picture anything is unlimited It could work But if lust is in the picture we gone get hurt

[@TheLmar83]

This is why they need to bring backpage back to nyc they need it like they need Walmart 😂😂😂

[@datingfighter314]

That is easy. NYC is expensive and full of snobs and materialistic people. Almost every successful and broke woman you meet will want to know what you do for a living and how much you make. Men and women who make more than you don’t give a damn that you are poor...hence why they are snobs. They live in a bubble and only care about themselves. Everything is about money for them and they are workaholics. Also most people in nyc/NJ are rude and that stereotype is true so that makes approaching women hard. Don’t let the rude materialistic snobs bring you down. There are still nice women but you have to go through a bunch of jerks to get to them.

[@dzim8822]

Women outnumber men in NYC.. this alone is the #1 reason why dating in NYC should be really good (if you're a man).

[@irreversablecontentment4651]

70 % are overweight

[@KP-us1ld]

People throw that statistic but fail to control for age. It doesn't matter if there are more women if the women that are available are significantly older.

[@irreversablecontentment4651]

@@KP-us1ld Total nonsense ! In all age brackets America ranks in top dozen countries of overweight women. Ive been in 41 countries and it is stunning how overweight Americans are . You need a passport and a clue !

[@KP-us1ld]

@@irreversablecontentment4651 I never said anyhthing about overweight people. Learn to read.

[@irreversablecontentment4651]

@@KP-us1ld You need 2 learn 2 read..You raised the distinction of weight and age

[@AdrianaMarvan]

I guess I was lucky! haha... or you were lucky lol... why is the frog on the stove? D:

[@HereBeBarr]

;)

[@kevinreily2529]

I would never want to be single and live in New York City. It's a city for billionaires. Just the way American women have changed, and not for the better, they used to be friendlier and more accepting and understanding 10-15 years ago. I'm so glad I live outside the US now. It is much better and kinder in Asia. Women are polite.

[@EnoI539]

Stay single brothers, not worth it.

[@333angeleyes]

Thank you for this video but I must admit that as a senior about to graduate college who was looking into moving to New York, you guys paint a scary picture for singles looking for love. I am not the partying nor, hook up nor, dating mulitple women type. I'm the looking for long term love type. Sounds like I'm not what most women in New York are looking for 😞 Anyway 😁, I have a question for Chris. I would love to hear his opinion on why New Yorkers have a "the grass is greener" mentality that you two spoke about and why does it seem like from your description many of them are not willing to put in more effort to make a relationship work; not willing to compromise? I mean everything I read about dating in your city says that there are more single women than men and there are few men that are college grad or higher. So logically with this scarcity of high quality man and over abundance of high quality women, shouldn't this motivate daters to compromise more when they find someone? And do singles get more serious about dating as they get older or is the mentality you described universal? Because I would be willing to date an older woman if I can avoid someone with a "shopping around for greener grass" mentality. Since he is a dating coach I would love to hear his thoughts this.

[@andrispaez374]

Thank you for this quality information appreciated

[@HereBeBarr]

👌🏻

[@MickAngelhere]

Pretty much the same in every city

[@melissam7146]

Because it sucks literally everywhere.

[@seekingpathways1045]

Dating in NYC use to be fun before the internet...Men were more friendly and more spontaneous. You could meet a guy and go out for movie and dinner the same day just minutes of meeting each other without sex being a focus. Now a guy takes you out and he is expecting sex, off of a movie and dinner, yall went dutch on. The internet ruined dating. People that move to NY are more cliquish now, even though there's less crime.Nyc has gotten too expensive for a single woman or man to hang out. VIP back in the days was $60 -$100.Now VIP is rent money.

[@PrivaBonito]

Are you a girl and you are complaining about dating? Hahahahahahaha

[@zero1188]

That was before women used men for dates. Back then when women went on dates men knew these women liked them

[@EDifyer881]

I totally agree it does suck the women (some) are completely stuck up and shallow

[@Eidosgod]

Im moving to NY, but man all this stuff is kinda scaring me. Where you live is a value in a city where rent is expensive? OMG

[@TiffanyWestNyc]

Good luck you’ll need all of it

[@waltman333]

Do you know if Chris is Filipino, if he is, might he be related to Barbara Luna, movie star. If so, Barbara was a playmate of mine while I was growing up in NYC back in the 40's. Walt in Miami

[@HereBeBarr]

Not sure

[@pressurewashingcompany]

Luna is a common last name. Almost a million people have it, and it originated from Spain. Spain colonized the Philippines and, as a result, many people in the country have the last name. Assuming he was Filipino, the chances of him being related to Barbara Luna is very slim.

[@waltman333]

Thanks Neil, I knew it was a very common name like Brown is but since he in NYC and LA I thought there just might be a connection. I lived in Spain several years as well. Barbara has such a large family that I thought I'd give it a shot. I have filipino friends as well and know the history of the Filipinas. Thanks again guy. Walt

[@Nancy-iv1yj]

Thanks Jon.

[@summerbreeze5758]

I think I’m just like a New York female lol. Gotta be a over 5’9 make over 500k live in a nice place. Lmao it’s not just New Yorkers... it’s slot of woman in general. We want to be taken cared of and finer things in life. I’m single and hand my own money. So I could care less about men. But yes. It’s my preference but I don’t show it. I’ll get to know a guy and see if he qualifies and if not then I’ll just be his friend. I never diss a guy because he doesn’t fit the criteria.

[@tims6777]

Punk

[@Jimbodisfan]

@Jeff in Chicago: Ha! I live in NJ near Philadelphia, and have visited NYC only three or four times (last in 2007), and was curious as to how small NYC apartments actually are.

[@user-or6yn8pm3c]

A big reason is people don't stay for a long time and people can be consumed by their jobs. Despite technology and automation everyone works more. I had a girlfriend who was a lifelong Manhattan resident and she moved to a small town to retire.

[@ceeIoc]

I got ghosted once they found out I live in NJ. But I live closer to manhattan than queens and Brooklyn!!! I’m 10 mins away!!! Fuck the haters bitches

[@KP-us1ld]

If you want to find a decent girl get an immigrant or find someone overseas. It ain't happening here.

[@shivapejman8155]

Im just curious, you guys couldn't find a better background than your nasty kitchen?

[@83brucec]

Members of the barrio

[@Moto421]

Hey Barr... Please take the plush frog off the stove before predictable results ensue. 🔥🐸☕️🔥 But hey it's none of my business.

[@HereBeBarr]

Lol

[@worldtraveler8613]

If you have android check out this app i found called easy date. Its so simple to get on there and meet someone

[@GeneRauXxX]

where are the tips, I did not see one.

[@Chris-oz4gl]

Sad to say but yes “superficial “

[@Ab-pj8hh]

The video style and content was interesting, you both came across well and I think this style of content definitely appeals to people who appreciate your videos for learning about all aspects of life in NYC. However some of the wording on Chris's business site is not very comfortable, for example 'will teach you the foundations that you need to both get more dates and to date higher quality women.' Higher quality women is a phrase often used super mysoginisticaly - I get the feeling from Chris that he means more in a way like not ghosting you etc however these kinds of phrases I think are not right to put out there. So not saying at all not to do a video with the guy but also perhaps to keep in the mind the kind of things they promote on their own terms that you might appear to endorse.

[@HereBeBarr]

Thanks for your opinion .

[@tenzackyogi1742]

Cultural/Racial/Diet/Financial/Political/Family DNA/Family Status/Nationality/Health differences.

[@davidbanas7609]

Okay, Now I'm Very Confused. Are you talking about Los Angeles ? I'm not even through the video and it sounds like you are talking about Los Angeles ! 100%. Someone once told me in New York City, I should move there because New York needs more Blondes. Good enough for me. LOL

[@zacharyzwerling7048]

first

[@HereBeBarr]

Fast !

[@machadango8535]

Been there 😢

[@post-hardcoreGuy]

5th

[@HereBeBarr]

Nice !

[@tenzackyogi1742]

NYC sucks anyway...... why dont you try in farmers mrkt.

[@miketheman4341]

Biggest nonsense video of all time! Why would you want to confront someone with whom you don’t click. What is gained by forcing people to be in a relationship because it’s inconvenient to break up in another community? Someone should do a video on why NOT to get advice from YT!

[@pinktoes3875]

so, high rent of a rat box, low purchasing power, no dates, no privacy. what other positives lol. a couple of years ago all the singles were told the cities are paradise, now it's changed.

[@HereBeBarr]

I think there's the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life and to have lots of new experiences. But the drawbacks are not for everybody. This of course is if you live in downtown Manhattan, you could have much more space in Queens,Brooklyn,Bronx, etc.

[@kevinreily2529]

NYC Attracts selfish, gold diggers, who want Men to buy them everything. Silly. Many are not even cute.

[@Mokh7777]

I thought there are a lot of model looking girls there, no?

[@TiffanyWestNyc]

Nah we really too Tier

[@Jahwil212]

Also these guys have no idea what they are talking about. I have 250+ lay count just in NYC. Don’t waste your time on dating apps. Learning cold approach would be my suggestion

[@juliuspmorgan7423]

Jon your great your guest wasn't