David Splane Gives Away Watchtower's Grift

[@justaman3916]

The GB never owns up for its mistakes. They always pass the blame to the rank and file. Narcissist behaviour

[@positiveendtimes]

Like a utility company, commercial grade gaslighting

[@eyesontheprize5]

"Our turd sandwich isn't selling let's use a different type of bread"🤣🤣🤣literally lol in my car.😂 It's so true!

[@justme-on7bn]

I like how “Splane” left out the words “in the name of the father, son, and the Holy Spirit” after he said “baptizing them”. WT are experts at leaving out the context.

[@annderby6295]

Cults can't survive without recruitment.

[@Pehmu]

Glad to have David Splane stopping by and Splaning things to us.

[@levimaxton6307]

nice

[@torpidentree5722]

the phrase "I think David Splane is a perfect Tool" will be forever marked on my heart

[@cherikerr4753]

Loved it! Hilarious 😂

[@Danielle-nz9tn]

Yes, I laughed so hard! The funniest is how he just quickly moves past the joke and onto the next thing he is saying. This is another great video!

[@juancarlosayub5060]

To think my parents fell for this bullshit and dragged their six children with them with no choice in the matter whatsoever. I will never understand what actually piqued their interest in the cult.

[@justaman3916]

It just proves that RECRUITMENT is the end game.

[@marvalice3455]

Just like all pyramid schemes

[@fujajo2761]

@@marvalice3455 exactly

[@LuvDelux]

I have a hilarious story about a Bible study that I took a circuit overseer to and he told me that since the man had been studying 6 months and wasn't going to meetings that I should drop him. This man was a very kind Sikh Indian in his mid- 70s. He was interested in the Bible's teachings and he was also BLIND. The circuit overseer continuously tried to show him scriptures and because the man wasn't following along in the Bible, the c.o. was getting more and more irritated. I kept reminding him the man is blind he can't see what you're pointing to. 🤣😂🤣 To date this was one of my favorite people that I've ever met- so kind and so insightful, - even without vision he knew I was coming just from the sound of my footsteps. It really just became a friendship sharing spiritual ideas. He told me he I was like a water lily, something pure grown from murky waters...🤔🤔🤔 Never forgot that.

[@NashonOsborne]

There’s always ample amounts of blame to be thrown around but never dare placing that blame where it rightly should be. That shit will get your ass shunned.

[@terridovey7648]

Maybe we don't want to ignore our family and friends, or be judged by the jw's, or, here's the big one: take orders and obey MEN! This so called religion is so far off from Christianity it's scary. And we all know they're all "drawn" to the cult because they've been LIED to. This was a very good and funny video! Thank you!

[@liplockednomore]

@Terri Dovey good to 'see' you here❤

[@terridovey7648]

@@liplockednomore You too my sister! I like this guy! He's brilliant and funny!😅 Have a blessed, beautiful day sister. Love always.❤🙏🙏🙏💕

[@boboak9168]

@@spykezspykez7001 yes they have Mate. By the bible. For one example among many, the Israelites were never slaves in Egypt, therefore they never wandered a small patch of wilderness after being freed and Moses’ life is a work of fiction too. If you haven’t already looked at it, researching evidence (or the complete lack of it) for the captivity of the Israelites may be a real eye opener about the reliability of the bible. I also recommend Professor Bart Ehrman’s videos for gaining a better insight into the origins of the various books of the bible and their authors. I wish you well in getting through your crisis. It can be a challenging process.

[@boboak9168]

@@spykezspykez7001 I also recommend the ‘nothing fails like bible history’ series on the ‘holy koolaid’ channel.

[@KingMswatiIII]

@@spykezspykez7001 If you want to hear the other side, check out the "evidence for the Bible" series here on KZbin here by Mike Winger.

[@astralclub5964]

My father had a JW conducting a Bible Study with him in…1975! They studied for 2 months, but since my Dad wasn’t ready to jump our family to the JW’s quickly enough, the JW ended the study. After all, the world was ending in a few months, and he had to move on to greener fields!

[@cygnustsp]

Blatant cult recruitment measures. How was i ever a part of this?

[@petertocher6845]

Because JW's have nearly perfected the art of recruitment. The concept is so seductive that any right minded person would want to be a part of it. Once you've assimilated you can be drip fed the bad stuff. You start to get answers that can't be questioned and if you leave you will lose possibly years worth of friends and family. Then you have to rebuild your life. But it's crumbling !

[@vivianembery4588]

I know how I get hype"in to it?ARMAGEDDON!!that scare the 💩!!out of ME.But now im totally FREE😏Looking forward to ARMAGEDDON...REALLY😁😁😁

[@swinnburn]

It's a natural thing to be in a friendly social group,when I look back... covered by the wings of my parent's then a parent!? They were always odd,but some how not!? More cards close to the chest sort of folk,which sat at the back of my mind Not really knowing them as people really,all kept busy and at arms length. Passing through guided by words so many words. The flies caught in the florescent light fixtures on the ceiling in the kingdom hall gave meaning to my observation of all this enthusiasm to believe.💡

[@carolstanhope4717]

Making disciple's? 🙄Deceiving and entrapping is more like it.

[@xolitaire]

Just wanted to say THANK YOU for your videos. Not only are they really informative, but also refreshing. Instead of just throwing down the facts, you add the right amount of humor and sarcasm to it, calling JW out for the farce it really is. That being said, Splane's little rant is dispicable. "Don't immediately tell your vict- err, I mean study partners that you are trying to recruit them. Nooo, lure them in first. Waaaait for it"

[@altworldly]

Thank you so much!

[@stevebenoit6649]

There's a hole in the contribution box where all daddy's money goes

[@extremelylargeslug4438]

Wanted to comment to say that this was a brilliant line of reasoning. This has been on my mind for quite a while now, how they always push the blame and responsibility onto individual rank and file members. I always said that if God was cherry picking people whom he “drew to him”, then it’s irrelevant how good or bad your “presentation” is at the door. The outcome would be the same. They’d convert. The Watchtower paradox.

[@ingramwright5399]

That, and guess God is drawing the pedos.

[@marvalice3455]

Years ago, David Spokane started me on my way out when he said in a video(from the pre website days) that "God's people aren't pacifists". But ya. These people don't care about saving souls, they only care about numbers.

[@LORELLism]

That splanes everything! This weirdo sounds like Mr. Rogers talking to a 5 year old. It would be funny if it weren't so sad!

[@No1YanniLover]

Enjoyed your commentary and what you said is sooo true! I lived with guilt and shame the entire time I was a JW.

[@Beleen-gw3vw]

I just love your way to tear their nonsense in pieces:) keep doing it pls!

[@FyourCult]

my only praise for the Governing Body is thanks for making me an Atheist

[@MC-pe4cn]

Haha same here

[@jonahdab2491]

Because it's not the "TRUTH". It's a lie.

[@anniesavedbygrace]

..."maybe they just aren't preaching the truth of the bible message and not everyone is blind to real truth. Maybe many people don't like being treated like they are still in kindergarten or nursery school.

[@liplockednomore]

Don't cha just luv when Splane ex-Splanes stuff😂

[@terridovey7648]

🤣🤣🤣👍💕💕

[@freespirit3891]

Susan, 🤔 i always end up more confused when he explains

[@rubenpinho5510]

Your videos are marvelous! Your sense of humor is just unique in the exjw channels community I think 🤔 thank you!

[@helenohara423]

You cut to the very heart of this toxic organisation. Loving your work and excited about the next video.

[@jennybloom9107]

That Kokiri Forest music somehow makes it bearable to listen to Splane.

[@justaman3916]

Mr Splane. Many people have studied the Bible without your so-called publications, the Holy Spirit has led them to make necessary changes, and are now good Christians without having to be JW. Spare us your drivel, Mr Splane

[@terridovey7648]

AMEN! 👏👏👏👏👏

[@positiveendtimes]

Boom

[@johnjearos8783]

Amen!

[@vivianembery4588]

BOOM!...IN YOUR FACE😠

[@terridovey7648]

@@vivianembery4588 👍👍👍

[@viviginsbergsmith9110]

Because not enough people are that stupid. Maybe the student investigated Jehovah’s Witness online.

[@Country-wg8yz]

"What about telling them about the REAL Jesus and his love?" Maybe this IS the reason why!!

[@johnvigil1741]

“Turd sandwich” 💩 🥪 🤣🤣🤣

[@jivinjuju]

Great video! Their desperation for sales is hilarious.

[@amandabomination691]

“turd sandwich” 🤣🤣🤣

[@whats_the_truth]

Or "a giant douche."

[@vivianembery4588]

And don't forger the horrible farts!!afterward😂😂😂😂😂

[@junick2012]

Maybe it’s because most people realizes rather quickly that jw teachings doesn’t make much sense and start hiding and clearly shows you they wish you would stop coming but can’t tell you face to face... yet the pioneer wants to count a few studies so badly in their FS report that they keep chasing this poor house holders and lecturing them on the importance to keep studying every time they catch them.

[@yolettemilord548]

As if they haven't abused people enough.

[@tessleonhart8126]

“Our turd sandwich isn’t selling. Let’s try a different bread.” 😹😹😹 You are by far my new favorite ExJW youtuber! Thanks for the great videos!

[@altworldly]

Thank you so much!

[@bigskypioneer1898]

Note to self: *NEVER* watch AltWorldy video while actively eating or drinking because the intense laughter his videos inspire could prove harmful, (and messy). Perfect Tools. OMFG. 🤣 Also, why is it that the JW art with your logo on it reminds me of the propaganda art found in Portal 2 or Fallout?

[@billyroland2758]

Publisher = WT sales assistant

[@sheilacollinge4789]

Well now, since when have these Watchtower robots been giving 'Bible Studies'? Throughout my 60 years I have only observed book studies full of watchtoweroligy. I never had a bible study, but I insisted on using the bible only. The study plus my endless questions (100s)

[@NafissaShireen]

And how many of these studies are for counting time without going door to door only 🤣 -

[@petertocher6845]

This idea of a 'progressive study' was a thing in the 1980's. after the Live Forever book came out we were to conduct studies in it and if the student hadn't become a publisher in about 6 months I think it was, then we should dump them. Most of us just ignored that because it was so hard to get a study out of the feild work

[@UnderservingOne]

When I was PIMI, my elders would discourage my Bible studies whenever they wanted to take the next step because they didn’t trust me. Eventually they would not progress. Looking back I’m glad they left 😂

[@mandyth409]

Or maybe it's because they are not willing to join a cult

[@katew.9402]

"you might scare them off" - wow, just wow! David Splane really needs to learn to hide his nefarious intentions better!

[@francinemirey1555]

If they're scared AFTER baptism then too bad , they're stuck in the cult or loose all friends/ family

[@sylvainlenoir5859]

You're video is perfectly accurate (for this period of time)

[@annderby6295]

Lol.....when JWs come a calling their target has no idea that there is an agenda and the end game is conversion as this is not stated up front but is subtly imposed on the person over time.

[@nicosyiallouris1103]

Fantastic Explanation thank you so much for this video!!!!!!

[@D.J_Ward]

Someone was plugging your channel on reddit, gave it a chance. Once I heard the Zelda music I was hooked. 😂🙏 New subscriber!

[@markmueller5810]

Excellent video, great job of high lighting the sources 👏

[@hudsonchalmers6504]

Pre 1975, they told us to terminate long standing studies. I think then they said max 6 months

[@petertocher6845]

They said the same in the '80's when the Live Forever book replaced the Truth book. And, yeah, I think it was 6 months.

[@halleluyah757]

"Go make...deceptions! Is what should have said

[@tubian323]

"A: Always, B: Be, P: Preaching! Always Be Clos-I mean Preaching!"

[@viviginsbergsmith9110]

I don’t watch JW stuff. This is the first time I’ve seen a talk for awhile. iiiiiiiiccccckkky! Made me feel sick.

[@rasklaat2]

Creepy, huh?

[@datspoon0]

You using the name Jacqueline really freaked me out because that was my Bible teacher’s name before I left 😂

[@Denariusjay]

I love how he openly admits that the challenges of a progressive bible study are all about manipulating the person to join the organization. It has nothing to do with love of God or Jesus or whatever. Not about love of neighbor and being a good person and helping out in the world. Not even about having a relationship with God. No no, its all about building trust in the cult, the cult leader, the cult meetings. There concern is getting you baptized into the cult, to make that lifetime contract that they will later use as a weapon against you if you ever decide to change your mind or heaven forbid "sin" unrepentantly (which is totally up the elders to interpret that) What a joke of a religion.

[@leetrippii1830]

Bring up disfellowship to soon and you will run them off bring it up later

[@gmeorghemarcu4100]

Correct. Thanks from a JW

[@sprink88]

David Apane's speech so reminds me of the time I nearly got into MLM - Amway, specifically It's all about the numbers, get your downline numbers going up.

[@halleluyah757]

Thank you for your poignant lesson; your points well taken; once again reiterating why I'm...OUT!

[@icecreamheadache]

Yeah, 'Enjoy Life Forever' is good and all, but wait 'til you see the NEW new tool I totally can't predict is coming out in about twelve years. :D

[@Caracaraorangeberry]

Splane seems mad. he’s scolding dubs. poor dubs. i would hate to be a dub right now. can u imagine? Ew no.

[@davidsmith5946]

some of the stuff coming out of splanes mouth must have got on his head...

[@brianbooher3999]

Nice Donkey Kong 64 background music

[@TheBalancePod]

Well this is a good morning!

[@amandahibbert7159]

When the offered me study .i was told not to read the bible.just to wait for there booklets .😅

[@johnjearos8783]

ROFL! 2:39 "Our turd sandwiches aren't selling; let's try a different kind of bread". :)

[@tdomingues89]

This is gold, so now, the problem are the JW itself xD They just don´t read the the papers from the watchtower ??? So what about the bible lmao ?

[@jeffreybungle457]

If the consequences of rejecting Jehovah are execution at Armageddon but the cause of that rejection is a ham-fisted delivery of a Bible study doesn't that make the execution unjust?

[@zaxxers]

I wonder if you presented an active witness with the weird angle of "changing with the times" if they'd just counter... "Satan is trying everything he can, so we have to change too!"

[@GullahGeecheeFarmer]

Nobody is willing to throw away their family for a man made religion. Of course nobody is converting lol

[@TheTwilitHero]

And then they stopped reporting bible studies, lol!

[@jamjam4822]

What’s the % of new converts compared to the ones leaving% . Anyone know?

[@screenwatcher949]

Please link the Lloyd Evans response in the description

[@Caracaraorangeberry]

maybe some of the reported studies aren’t really studies at all. what does watchtower call a study these days? the governing body has also demonstrated it doesn’t even really trust dubs with the message anymore as all dubs do nowadays is stand there and hold an ipad while someone watches a video as a governing body member explains it, or they’re directed to follow a pre-written script that was written by a governing body member. or, as Samuel Herd put it, maybe dubs needs to smile more.

[@KayD]

Ooh that Lloyd Evans shoutout 😂

[@lindaanderson1366]

That's how I FELT I was drawn to to go to Brooklyn NY and filled with the holy spirit that's WHY I went there and l saw the two young brothers give each other HIGH five I felt that was a good sign then the WHITE BROTHER treated me mean I was TOLD to get to the HALL and THEY WOULD contact me never did when I return back to BROOKLYN NEW YORK they was packing to move!!

[@annderby6295]

All the doctrine and interpretations which a Bible student has to learn is inconsequential. Whether or not Good is a Trinity or Jesus came invisibly in 1914 etc is of no value. At the end of the day all that really matters is doing good to your fellow man.

[@Trotoloko]

hey, Alt... are you perhaps... *ahem* Davidsplaning? ò_ô

[@cygnustsp]

Good stuff man

[@alans.wendelschafer6588]

1:40 I'll tell two reasons why. 1) It's not the so-called "Truth." 2) Google. It's all right there.

[@milesverde2439]

The LOZ music is cracking me up

[@raffaeleparisi]

Request! @AltWorldly What is your favorite video game soundtracks?

[@altworldly]

Oh man, so many! To list a few: Wind Waker, Banjo Kazooie (anything by Grand Kirkhope, really), Cave Story, Final Fantasy VII, Mario Galaxy. Just basic gamer boi shit lol

[@annderby6295]

If the Bible study converts it's God & the angels if not, it's either the Bible study conductor's fault or the person's fault, their not being rightly disposed for everlasting life or not honest-hearted blah blah blah.

[@krissykatportal]

Lol love the editing.

[@krissykatportal]

It’s 3 am and I can’t sleep. I’m back almost a year later and I still love the edits! Hope you’re doing ok Jake. Sending love and good vibes from your sis in California 😘

[@alyssawoodman]

I love your Bible reading...It's so Theocratic Ministry School :D

[@Mercutiossword]

I prefer the brass balls speech in Glen Gary Glen Ross

[@Caracaraorangeberry]

Watch Tower®️™️© has a worse track record than Alcoholics Anonymous .

[@rhcpfan9178]

I appreciate the DK64 soundtrack!

[@dellythezar8047]

☝🏼😩 👈🏼🙄 did he mean Babel Study ? 🖐🏼😔 no , he said Bible Study , 😲ooo i see ,

[@knowthyself8233]

😂😂😂 gangster body 🤦🏿‍♂️

[@katew.9402]

It's just another example of contradictory bible statements, isn't it. On the one hand "go make disciples", which indeed suggests some form of active role in converting people. On the other hand "no one can come to me unless the father draws him". It's this kind of stuff that makes the bible a perfect gold mine for all sorts of denominations that can always find some verse to prove whatever teaching they propose.

[@Caracaraorangeberry]

the publications are perfect until there is new light.

[@unculturedpodcast8385]

Donkey Kong 64 music >.>

[@Trotoloko]

Ah, ClockTown is so wonderful that I almost forgot how horrible religion was...

[@katew.9402]

"turd sandwich" - LOL

[@tommysmith5479]

Brilliant - using JWs own words to show how wrong they are. Which goes to prove that if any JW just has a little bit of courage, they can easily see how flawed the organisation is, without the need to seek out "apostate" material. Really, it's about being true to yourself.

[@billyroland2758]

How did you get Jesse Eisenberg to narrate your videos? 😁

[@joshuakliveca]

Bart D Ehrman

[@tonidebolt270]

Challenges my butt.How about they know that JW's are nuts?