Dealing with Workplace Bullies & Stress

[@sz7261]

I was gaslighted and bullied relentlessly for 3 years. I quit today. I finally found a job where I can work remotely and accepted it in a heart beat. I will never ever go back to an office job and I will never ever work with women again. My bullies were exclusively females. Not enough is said about how women are often women’s worst enemies. 🙏🏽

[@custommix7702]

I find it's Jealously with women, some women will be quick to tear another woman down for no reason as women, we should be encouraging and uplifting each other.

[@InspiredByBronx]

I’m going through this for the first time in my life now, and it’s a woman

[@sweetcutecoolgirl]

omg me too id rather die than to go back working in a office

[@veronicaatkins4417]

I agree

[@sallyb5089]

This is absolutely the best video and advice on the subject. I'm experiencing a female 73 year old bully who even cussed out our manager. He wants her to train me so she can retire. She says she's not leaving. She stand's over me and threatened to hurt me because I was taking notes for a task in training. She drops F bombs all day long to client's, Manager, Insurance reps and co workers. I'm calling Monday morning for a work from home position that was highly recommend and it comes with a huge pay increase. Good luck everyone. Don't put up with it.

[@pamponpan3376]

From my experience, management always takes side with the bully. Deep down they all know they just don't care.

[@kirstenarmstrong5791]

In my case the boss is the bullying coworkers best friend and let's her get away with everything

[@datnohi8612]

Exactly 💯 I have seen this as well, I can recall the office bully excessively talking all-day and was really loud and talk bad to customers not to mention discussing provocative things on the floor such as bras and panties, men personal parts, people would go back and complain to management bout the loud excessive talking all day so our manager sent out an email to her team for us to stop ✋️ complaining about the bully because she was her friend 🙄 I was really thrown back over this for it would have been nice to finally get some peace ✌️ and quit

[@betsielouw4826]

Totally agree

[@rosasacco4746]

You put bullies in their place. If they cut me underneath the belt I do the same to them. I set the expectations to anyone that I don't take any shit. I have been bullied by many co-workers and bosses over the years and I have learned to stand up for myself. I still have panic and anxiety attacks when faced dealing with difficult people but I trust love myself to speak up and defend myself. It's absolutely the hardest thing I have dealt with in life. Sometimes it's okay to lose your shit on someone --they will think twice before pulling anything on you. I would rather have people call me aggressive (or short tempered) than a doormat.

[@samantha6670]

Yup.

[@dinagolden4546]

Apsolulty dear

[@jcbanbury]

Have you got respect after the times you stood up??

[@jessicabiecker4995]

Thank you! Needed that

[@InspiredByBronx]

Same, I won’t let it take any more from me, but not going to stand for it either

[@ellisrose8017]

the one person that disliked this video is probably a bully at work. Sorry not sorry.

[@SophieShohetOfficial]

Lolol!

[@ellisrose8017]

hehe. :) Thanks Sophie for the video. I loved this subject.@@SophieShohetOfficial

[@dinagolden4546]

Yessssss indeed

[@jabezvaldemoro1099]

Actually lol

[@ivyaquila9136]

Leaving is sometimes the best thing to do, i quit my job too because of harassment from my manager, it's not the end of there world

[@dtvalladao1]

I was bullied by my boss for over a year. Called me fat, told me on our company social media I looked like a sea lion the day after my sister passed away, and slapped me. The best thing I EVER did was stick up for myself (as well as have a very well documented diary). He was FIRED! And I have been happy every sense.

[@icedcoffee6461]

That’s horrible

[@chiron_uncoded5912]

Should’ve called the police and gotten a lawyer. You would’ve been in Jayz’s shoes right now lol rich af

[@coreyanderson7424]

That's terrible. Bullies target people who have good intentions, too. I think that may be why they target good people. I am glad you didn't have to keep going through that, or quit while your bully got to stay, which is typically what happens. And it's not right. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Chances are, too, that you weren't the only one.

[@FischerFan]

@@coreyanderson7424 I have always sensed something deeper when it comes to those who have tried to make employment miserable for me. Virtually all of them have been men, who probably wished they WERE me!

[@victoriagonzales5164]

what a story and a great turn for you! hope you never experience this again and that more bullies get fired, this will set a precedent!

[@beatrixbeatrix8452]

I dealt with this before and had to end up quitting. I was snubbed for the same promotion that I was overqualified for several times. People also made up serious and false accusations about me. It was really bad! Luckily it was just a job while in college and not a career that I felt stuck at. I pray for those that are going through this.

[@agu3425]

The same happened to me. But I developed a thick shell like a turtle and I moved from that team but in the same company, so far so good, but the other day I saw someone shouting to one of the colleagues.....

[@sylwiadebarra4381]

I had similar experiences where my work colleagues were bullying me. I didn't give them any satisfaction I used this situation as the biggest motivation to step up in my career. I changed my department, I went on international transfer, I got involved in different projects. At the end I went back to collage to get additional qualifications and I got the promotion ! I left all this toxic people behind me :) Looking back at the whole experience I'm glad for what happened to me, because this was probably the kick I needed. I have learned so much about myself through this situation and now I am where I wanted to be :) Now I'm working with fantastic people who are like friends to me and I just couldn't be happier! Never let anyone to put you down! You know who you are, you know your values. Life is to short and don't waste any second on people like this! There is always light at the end of that tunnel. You just need to be strong enough to get there ❤️

[@anon12338]

Hmm

[@Laurielalalaurie]

In any work situation that stressful no mater where the stress is coming from, I think it's important to try and cultivate a self-employment situation... whether it's simply supplementing your income with a hobby that can make you a few extra dollars, or working part to full time on your own. I am pretty much completely self-employed at this point. I can tell you how much being self sufficient has made me very emotional distant from any work-related drama with co-workers and/or supervisors. Even if you have a small gig on the side that can earn you some extra income, your work stress would have much less of an impact because you have something else going for yourself. Best of luck to all of you! Thanks Sophie!

[@daneysabundance2303]

Thanks for encouragement!

[@CandyisAwesome86]

My unfortunate situation that I’ve run into continually is that my bosses have been bullies. HR and upper management is usually on their side. So you just have to find something else.

[@dipenbaniya]

CandyisAwesome86 de associating from the place would be the ideal situation at the end because after the damage have been made it takes time to recover at the same place. I can relate your experience and My ideal situation would be leaving even though I have stand up for myself

[@front2427]

lol

[@chickedeedee292]

Yes sociopaths are running the world unfortunately.

[@metalbelles3662]

​@@chickedeedee292 looks like it unfortunately

[@laladacosta1601]

It’s really sad that people never grow out of that bully mentality, how are you a grown woman, damn near 40 and you’re still causing stress to people you work with, then you sit here and wonder why you can’t keep a relationship, it’s cuz their attitude stinks.

[@jennb10qt23]

Sophie, you are the big sister that I need! You are have so much experience and advice, regardless of topic! Instead of keeping all of that information to yourself, you choose to help us make good purchases or good career moves. Thank you so much for your videos!

[@debracannonrndsn2564]

Absolutely. Passive aggressive people are the worst. There are times when the door closes , a window will open. I have had a younger person that I Mentored and trained who became very difficult. I simply stepped back and let her be large and in charge until she fell on her face. When she came back to me I was gracious and simply helped her through it. ps love the pink lady Dior. I finally ordered mine. Happily waiting for it.

[@becuteforme]

You are so nice and patient!

[@nick21501]

Your tips are spot on. If they truly are bullies though, they probably won’t stop. Either managements deals with it or you have to leave.

[@icedcoffee6461]

I left a job because I know they won’t stop. My boss is not there everyday . They will take advantage and mess me up everyday . Not worth it life’s too short

[@Angela-cd9bj]

People who have invested 20 years of life to a career should not have to quit a decent paying job because others are bullies and harassment exist plus Human Resources does nothing to correct negative personnel misbehavior

[@cherrylow9818]

Depends on how serious the Bullying is. Unfortunately Management & HR don’t care.

[@NatashaMcCartenx]

I had this in my previous job - I constantly felt belittled and I would go home upset every night. I confronted the girl and after that everything was fine and she apologised! Made me feel a lot better as well as I took charge of the situation xx

[@TheLuxuryHybrid]

Interestingly enough I work with predominantly men who are lazy and hide from pulling their weight. They try to bully me, but I am such a force to be reckoned with that they don’t know what to do when I confront them with such a monotone, stoic, and indifferent approach towards them. It has even led to me writing them up, on record, through company email. Ironically, it’s them who get emotional. I’m standing there, watching them, with a stone cold face, and it drives them mad.

[@RachelAMullins]

Slay ice queen

[@becuteforme]

Are you an Aries? :)

[@vestaenb]

I am and I do the exaaaact same thing HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Facts are my ammo (and record keeping), non-responsive attitude towards any emotional triggers is my outward protection in these circumstances. This is currently happening with a flatmate... Also, I love tripping people up on their lack of rationality by just showing them super casually the long receipts of facts or conversations. They create their own problems most of the time and keep feeding them. I just deflect and reflect their unproductive actions. It also takes immense and constant self-work. Being a hypocrite or not listening to criticism that affects your own core values is not the way to go. Living up to the person you want to be and staying true to your values is essential for staying impartial and unresponsive. There's always a lesson or a reminder of what you can do better in your life out of these situations too. Also, going beyond the attitude of winning, ego or being a social warrior is extremely helpful and necessary. That way you're not attached to any outcome and you give outside people the opportunity to view things from your point of view without forcing them to jump on your bandwagon.

[@KarinaSwan]

In my experience working with men, they either hit on you or belittle you... or both.

[@RachelAMullins]

@@vestaenb more receipts than Kim Kardashian

[@aylin9521]

Hi Sophie, One of my colleagues at work was constantly undermining me and bullying me. It got to a point where I couldn’t bare to go into work- I decided to confront her, but now I seem like the bad person for pointing out that she’s being downright rude. I love my job but she’s made it so awkward for me

[@TheTalisman515]

Boundaries and assertiveness are important , mostly though you need to be willing to walk away , bullies and toxic environments rarely change

[@traveller8867]

Very true. At some point you have to realize that it won't change.

[@vickislater2801]

After watching this video I very tentatively reviewed the website of an old law firm I used to work at 10 or 11 years ago. It was a truely awful place, where young women lawyers were paid less and the few women in power did nothing to change that, (though it did have a few lovely people, they were exceptions). I was surprised as I looked over the pictures of staff I used to work with how miserable and unhappy they looked, and I realised how far I have come from that job - far surpassing them. You are right that sometimes getting out is the best option - and for any young professionals out there having a hard time now, I’d like to remind them to move on and remember “success is the best revenge”. 💐 Good Luck Ladies!!!!

[@TarableDecisions]

I am very lucky that I adore my co-workers, but I've had jobs in the past where people were not all that pleasant. I think these are great tips! Thanks for sharing!

[@courtneypherson785]

I got a promotion recently and I think it made some people angry. Not too long after the promotion I was completely bullied out. I just put in my two weeks, I have another job lined up. Management always takes the side of the bullies. I was undermined by several coworkers. One of them started spreading lies about me. Management got involved and yup, I put my two weeks notice in. They had convinced management that I was not a good employee. My confidence in myself is shaken, and I definitely have some healing to do.

[@solidcatink]

I could have written your post. I'm in that exact situation right now. Please tell me that you are doing well now.

[@KimberFarms]

Same happened to me!! She was actually a rehire (quit for more $$, the office did high fives.) She was up the HR managers fanny, I knew she wasn't going to go anywhere. I lasted about a month with taking her daily stress before giving notice. Found a job in corporate law that I adored at twice the pay! I was honest during my interview on why I quit and was unemployed for a few months..hired on the spot. I think many people realize sometimes giving notice is the only way out of a toxic work place. She is no longer there and I was asked to come back but having moved on, I don't want to turn around. Thanks Sophie!

[@2paranoid2think]

I'm working at a crap place for 4 months after getting my MPH. Though I have a graduate degree, the manager and this woman are giving me all their administrative work even though I was told I would be doing more work relating to my education/experience. They are friends so I can't say anything. I'm applying for new jobs but I'm worried that employers will judge me for working there for a short time. Do you suggest applying with a cover letter? I always included a cover letter and it took me months just to get 1 interview after getting my master's.

[@KimberFarms]

@@2paranoid2think As for myself, I always use a cover letter. In addition, if after the interview I feel it's a job I really really want, I drop a handwritten "Thank You" note off at reception. I told my interviewer that while there was nothing wrong at all with the firm, that I loved my job, I simply did not agree with my co-workers work ethics. Just my thoughts! Best wishes to you!

[@janetroberson5645]

I had a job years ago, and the bully was really nasty to me. I did not get it she never done it to anyone else in the office. I finally went to management and I was fired after he talked to her. It was ok and I was relieved to get out. And I even told the manager thank you so much for doing this. I was bullied very badly when I was about 12 years old. And this was my cousin. It was hard for so long, but he got his up comings in the end sorry to say. But please not by me. So when my little brother started school he started getting bullied by a kid my age, he is 7 years younger than me my brother that is. I never took up for myself but I had enough and I pulled him off the bus by the hair on his head , needless to say it's the only time I ever done anything like that my entire life. We were never bullied again. You give great advice Sophie and I just completely adore you my dear. Thank you so much.

[@JennyAmponsah]

Thank you for doing this video Sophie!!! I experienced bullying at my last workplace and after 12 years of working there (not that the bullying lasted 12 years, it was only the last 3 years before I left) I finally handed in my notice and quit! Now I’m in a new job that I’ve been at for over a year and I couldn’t be happier!!

[@jazzyjenkins]

I dealt with a boss who would constantly call me about pending projects. He would call me all the way up till 11pm at night. I handled it by sending out a email every end of business; updating him on what was going on. I also began leaving my work phone in the office at night and on weekends. That bit was slightly petty but, i think he got the message. 😊

[@d26s10]

J J it’s so strange how these senior people behave. They should know better. My 64 year old boss would text me on my personal number at 9/10pm at night about work. Silky stuff like ‘remind to do xyz tomorrow morning’.... err hello? Set yourself a reminder in your phone?! Write yourself a note. Don’t disturb my personal time. I stopped replying after a couple of times and would make it known to him that yes I did read his message and let him wonder why I didn’t acknowledge it.

[@mulliganstew72]

Perfect! I learned that the second I answer an email outside of business hours it’s all over…

[@famkespw]

Sophie! I just discovered you recently and have binge watched all your videos. Love your easy manner and the sweet way you come across. I work in an HR role and know that employees struggle with bullying in the workplace. It's a real shame that "adult professionals" can act like children and hurt others. I truly think that some are unaware, however no one should be made to feel uncomfortable at work. I encourage anyone that is experiencing this to SPEAK UP. Management cannot correct something they know nothing about. And if you have complained and feel that you are getting nowhere, please know that looking in to matters such as these may take some time. In the end, your voice may be the one that gets the poor hire out the door. As Sophie mentioned, be the bigger person and treat everyone with kindness as we never know what others are going through. Thank you Sophie for your lovely videos and for addressing topics such as this. XOXO

[@jenh9426]

if mgmt is well aware of the behavior.. and does nothing, then you are better off leaving.. as they have shown that they don't really care... and aren't really going to do anything. Been there, put up with that... no thanks...esp if mgmt doesn't discourage certain behaviors. My best suggestion for dealing with people who like to punch your hot buttons... is ignore them. They are trying to get a rise or reaction out of you and the best thing you can do is not react.

[@retardedvelociraptor]

Or you can stay and make their lives as miserable as possible for not doing anything about blatant bullying. Which is what I've decided to do.

[@acarli1]

Oh girl. This hit home for me. I am so bullied at work. I have been in the same job for 6 years. My boss, over the years has hired 3 sisters which makes it so difficult for me. They are manipulating and I just can’t do anything about it. They literally watch Netflix all day on their phones and leave me to do a vast majority of the work. I have comforted them, confronted the boss - and NOTHING has gotten done. It only got worse. Now that my boss has cancer at 37 and he’s going to be out for a while things have gotten horrible. My solution was to finish my education. While they watch TV, I do homework. LOL. I gave my boss a 6 months notice a while back. Now I have 7 weeks off college left then I’m out the door. I feel bad for my boss but for my sanity I have to go. The only reason I stayed so long was because of the money and the flexibility to be able to do homework. Your videos have been such an encouragement to me. You’re an inspiration, brave and smart! Thank you so much. ❤️🐰❤️🐰❤️🐰

[@ChillVanille]

How’s it going?

[@kimliu9819]

Old enough to experience , what happend to me was i had been pushed to find my way out. There was no other way but to seek another job.. and God did open that door for me. It wasnt a particular person, but was the way office culture was. Glean from your past hardships and experiences, it also helps you see better in the new place. And just incase u start complaining, look back..and see how far u have come

[@Whitedove6]

Yes unfortunately I have had a situation like that before.A coworker friend me and she ended up not being very honest and I told my boss the truth about it and because of that the whole team outted me.She even went so far as to try to make it look like it was me who was being dishonest.After 3 1/2 years of that I just couldn't stand another minute of her so I choose also to just leave.Sometimes you should just be friendly to the people you work with and keep your friendships outside of work.I learned that the hard way but it was a good lesson.I keep my circle of friends small and close to my heart.

[@bunnifer23]

I work at a financial services company and had an experience with a difficult coworker some years ago. She was horrible on many levels. She was combative, incompetent, and spent a lot of time watching cat videos and online shopping. She would make weird comments about my appearance (like staring at me and saying that I have beautiful lips - creepy!). Anyway, I dealt with it in a similar way as you suggested. One thing I suggest is documenting the times you’ve tried to address issues so you can show their boss/HR that you’ve tried to solve the problem already. In my case, the coworker was put on probation and eventually fired.

[@junoyiyi]

My current workplace has so many bitchy people and I’m trying to leave. I don’t think I can change anything and I’ve seriously been mistreated, and so are others, but management doesn’t do anything about it. I tend to avoid conflicts but I did face off many of them. I think you are right. I’m being pushed to a better place. Wish me luck :)

[@metalbelles3662]

True.i think best thing is to find another job.

[@meganmariiia]

I NEEDED this video right now! I’ve recently started a new job and there’s a few people that are extremely cliquey and make a point of making me feel unwelcome... it makes it more difficult to do my job because they’ll ignore emails etc but I am going to try my best to be assertive. I’m pretty laid back and quiet, I guess that makes people think they can get away with it. Will certainly try a different approach. 💖

[@denisemarle4141]

Hi Sophie, I think your advice is spot on. I started in fashion in 1970, working one day a week as part of the final year of my Fashion Design course. It was the time of Mary Quant, Zandra Rhodes and the fabulous model Twiggy, it was a joy to go every Friday to work and learn at one of the "In" fashion boutique labels here in Sydney at that time. The people were great, the Designers were helpful and the boss (company owner) a gem. Fast forward to 1987 when I started working full time again, times had changed, it was a dog eat dog world, were it seemed the juniors wanted to be the boss! The stories are way too many.... My best advice is "knowledge is power" and no matter what your job, be good at it. Stand your ground and speak to the person giving you problems, only going above them if it's the only way to a solution. Also, I treat everyone in a company the same, from the person on the front desk, colleagues in my department, the cleaners or the Managing Director - and this doesn't always go down well with some! Hope this helps, it's not a new problem. Love your channel Sophie, always interesting and always good advice.

[@whitecitrus1]

What great topic Sophie! My advice would be to document everything when working if a coworker that's difficult. Even if you discuss something verbally, doesn't hurt to send an email recapping your discussion. That way if what you say is very questioned, you can pull up the email

[@juliaberg5626]

Yes, this is very smart!

[@coreyanderson7424]

Good advice . You know where the most bullying takes place? Production jobs.

[@alexandram7321]

I really appreciate this topic becouse at present I'm in sick after I've been bullyied at work, I'm sick caused by stress caused by work, I'm suffering of anxiety and depression, i put a complain 7 weeks ago but they are pretending I never said nothing...is not fair to be off sick on SSP what is like 92£/ week when I'm paid 300£ per shift when I'm working...at one point I'm asking myself if I've done something rong...I'm pregnant, next week I will start my maternity leave and all this stress from work affected my personal life. Thank you for speaking about this xx

[@ellisrose8017]

Take good care of yourself and your baby. I know exactly how you feel. In the end if Management pretends to not know (read ignore) anything about the bullying, there's nothing you can do about it, especially if it is your direct supervisor f.i., except but leave. It also says a lot about the policy within the company.

[@thatswhatilike_]

So sorry to hear this Alexandra but just think - you have a beautiful baby to enjoy and be excited about and a long maternity leave where you don't have to work in a place that's making you ill. If at the end of the maternity leave you don't want to go back there then leave and look for another job. I'm sure you can do it! Sending you lots of love xx

[@KarinaSwan]

This is terrible, but all you have to do now is to concentrate on you and the baby! This is the most important thing and those people are not worth you risking your baby's health... or yours! Please trust me when I say this, they will answer in a different way for this, what goes around really comes around. Just try and put it behind you, look forward to your next chapter in life - giving birth, raising your baby and perhaps, as Sophie said, changing work place.

[@nickysunshine1220]

At first congratulations!!! You will have a baby this is amazing and will completely change your life in the most positive way!!!

[@karenphipps7532]

When I started working I figured out quickly to speak up the first time something came up! Many think if you let it go once, it’s a sign to take advantage of a situation!

[@drizzy6855]

Thank you for being so helpful and also being so specific about these toxic workplace scenarios and people. So needed. Saving this and would even consider to share this video with upper management if I do feel like the person is a great manipulator and is tarnishing my reputation. Thank you ❤️

[@marsee965]

Great topic; the only bully nice individuals! Its a combination of standing your ground and ignoring them!!!!

[@EvieOhNooo]

The job I have currently I very nearly left, my manager was horrible and it was driving me to my wit's end. However right as I had written up my notice, the whole team gets pulled into a meeting and he announced that he was leaving. Our new manager is divine and I love my job again, phew!

[@girlygirl9766]

wow I wish that would happen to me

[@carolpappas8227]

Great video. I have to say that in my experience, like in the rest of life's relationships, I now look at the situation and ask myself what I need to know or learn about the situation. I have found that if I don't learn to resolve whatever the thing is, that if I just leave or keep it to myself, I will create it again, but probably worse, until I find the key. I agree that sometimes leaving is best, but that's probably the lesson - to reach out of the comfort zone. In addition, putting up with those kinds of terrible behaviors is usually about speaking up for oneself and overcoming the fear of a sort of "death" if you will. Once you know you're not going to die from speaking up and honoring yourself no matter what, somehow everything gets better and you stop allowing the icks. For me anyway...Thanks for speaking about such a pertinent topic in such a concise way.

[@mariep9020]

agreed on all you said, just wanted to mention that at the time you left your job and the people above your boss saying how they knew how your direct manager is, is literally bullshit for them saying they regret seeing you leave cause if they knew they should've done something, yet they let that happen knowingly so it most likely suited them yet they obviously valued your work so they didnt want to see you leave, but as long as you were used and mistreated it was all fine w them...what a hypocirites...so for that it was really best to leave I would also say it's important to confront the bullies, they dont like that however they hold themselves during it

[@hamhame5248]

This video came at the right time! I am having a hard time with this colleague who is higher ranked than me but not physically located in the same office as me. We are supposed to “work together” in a lot of things but she has been pushing work to my team. She usually replies my emails really slow despite numerous reminders and can turn errors made by her my responsibility. Her attitude and tone is also not professional and aggressive. I have feedback to my supervisor but it seems like the only way is to stay calm and define our line of work more clearly and sometimes reject her in a non offensive way. Dealing with her isn’t supposed to be more than 30% of my work but I find myself spending more time than that on her and is affecting my stress level, emotions and other work. At this point of time I would really feel like resigning.

[@joannecortese7426]

Have a nightmare of a woman at work. First, she is jealous as I am in sales and she is in accounting (need I say more), secondly, my salary is double of what she makes. I've actually taped her having a conversation with the other office staff calling me a c%$#, accusing me of stealing, insulting my intelligence, and threatening to beat me up. Luckily, I spoke to the partners at the company and they squashed her behavior for a while but that was when sales were very high. Now that things have changed in my industry, I'm back on the bottom and they cater to her. I invited her by email to meet and see how we can get along better but she didn't respond back. Screw her and the company, in three years I am retiring to France and never have to think about this situation again Love your videos!.

[@olivertla4857]

It's always a pleasure to see you've uploaded! Hope you're having a good week Soph! x

[@littleblacklawyergermanbla2008]

Here in Germany NO confrontation. Ignore the person as long as you can.

[@coreyanderson7424]

Interesting. Here in the U.S., unfortunately, it's very similar. No ramifications.

[@victoriagonzales5164]

? Why not? Why just ignore it? Why don’t report it? That’s why they persist

[@mbd6054]

Yes, I agree it's important to remain calm and professional in any confrontational situation. I also agree, particularly in a bullying situation, that it is best to confront the bully before going to the next level. In my long experience, the vast majority of work bullies, back down, and move onto their next victim, when confronted. There are also laws against bullying in the work place, and employers are held responsible for allowing their staff to be bullied.

[@vickybox6906]

Thank you for your post today Sophie. Every word resonated with me. I left my job today to move to another department for all those reasons. Onwards and upwards 😀

[@140dule]

I definitely agree with you. I think it's very smart and wise to confront the person. I also believe someone with a strong will to say, I will continue to work hard and let him fry would be another option. There can be another way of looking at situations like this. Allowing it to build your character. But to a certain degree. There should be a level where if the line is crossed to confront with no fear.

[@JosephineM00]

I work with a woman that despises me, she generally ghosts me in office chat and I often see her rolling her eyes when I am speaking looking down her nose at me. I have never done anything to her however I see right through her for the unpleasant person she is which she doesn't like. I think most of my colleagues are fooled or scared by her (she ghosts others). She doesn't scare me but I get frustrated as she is paid loads and is lazy, the eye rolling does my head but the most annoying thing is she has everyone fooled. However by not being scared by her I maintain the upper hand!

[@JosephineM00]

@@victoriamather2267 I believe in karma too, I try and live by it myself and when you meet nasty people it helps you to deal with them. Unfortunately most of my co-workers are fooled by her and the ones that she is also horrid to are scared of her which is what I find most frustrating!

[@JamConcerned]

I had someone similar, and explained the situation to my manager it. I was new out of college a few years. Asked how do I handle it since brought down the whole team, since I had to constantly correct her work. The best thing I ever did was take her to the conference room for coffee/tea. Asked her how things were going since she seemed stressed. She was fast but the errors were just too much and she got defensive when anyone corrected her. In the conference room she was so calm, saw the real her which was nervous wanted to do well. Instead of the defensive angry person who avoided most people. Find out what she likes to drink or snack she likes to eat. Sit down and get to know who she is. Seems like she is putting up a front, a maybe because she don't know what she is doing, and has been faking it to keep others from guessing. On top of it she is paid loads. Get to know her and befriend her. What helped the situation was discussing it with your superior on how to resolve it. I am sure they are aware of it, and working on a way to either moving her along, or cut her in the next layoff. I have seen it done so many times.

[@relaxwithme__]

Jo M I have a similar situation. People are nasty!!

[@devinpeirce7152]

Jo M she must be white

[@calliesmith4040]

I’ve watched you for a long time now and you’re really someone to look up to. Glad to see a successful, down to earth, and interesting person on KZbin.

[@gracelovesU2]

I had a hard time adjusting to my new career work culture, with over 120 coworkers (including managers) the first year. I am able to work 3x12hr shifts, and found my place working solely overnight shifts. The bullies (bitter?) long-timers that are my age all work the day shifts, so my life at work has gotten better. This is a hospital, and as much as I wanted to leave, I also didn’t want to give anyone the satisfaction of having pushed me (and newbies) out, of that was their goal. I rarely see them now and when I do I don’t talk to them, like they aren’t even there. It’s great.

[@gracelovesU2]

Also, I forgot to add, I can’t believe these ladies my age act like they are still in high school, in their cliques. This is the only job/place they know...at least I’ve experienced much more and more different places than they have!

[@thatswhatilike_]

I loved this video Sophie! I was made redundant in October 2018 from a job I loved. A month later I got a new job, one that made me ill. I hated it!! The boss, the company everything it was giving me panic attacks and it just wasn't worth it so I left. I'm now not working and living off of my savings but I'm happier!! Sometimes you have to take the jump to get something better. Sending you lots of love and I hope you are feeling better xxxx

[@tattooedreef2081]

Such an important topic and you are so right. It's the hardest thing in the world to be kind and understanding with someone emotionally hurting you but it's the only way to stay true to yourself. My current boss drove another member of the team (who used to do my role) to despair, piling so much work on her, expecting early starts, late finishes and no lunches to the point my team member's hair was falling out from stress. Finally the assistant manager acknowledged a problem and said another person had to be hired to share the load. Step in me. The boss then tried the same stuff with me - giving me unreasonable work loads or asking me complicated questions as I was about to go for lunch or go home (never malicious but clearly calculated) but I knew what she was like, I had been warned, so my favourite phrase is "sorry but I don't have time to deal with that now, can it wait till tomorrow or can it be delegated to someone else". Works a trick because its not a rude response, instead it's reasonable and humble and bullies usually love the idea of someone being beneath them. Which doesn't bother me as I'm pretty chilled out in the work place.

[@Haticesahin70]

I feel like you made this video for me. I literally came home yesterday and started crying because I was so frustrated and tired because my job, school and colleagues.

[@janaangus]

Oh this video is spot on!! I finally quit my toxic job after 25 years. Found another job that best suits me. You have wonderful advice!! Thanks again for always bringing amazing content to us :) ONE IMPORTANT THING: :) Document everything! If you have multiple challenges with a colleague write it down. Date, time and what was said. Then you will have examples to bring up to management when needed.

[@vickybaley7971]

Great video Sophie! Yes I agree, be kind first because you never know what someone is going through and their behavior is all about them and has nothing to do with you.

[@ffflyin1697]

And also, thank you for your advice. I love it. I’ve got a long experience in the corporate world but still am struggling and learning. But you are right re being kind to others. I was going through a terrible time at home with a sudden bereavement and am thankful that my colleagues did not take badly when I had to leave work early each day for a time. Xx

[@DEAN_23]

My workplace bullies were my former work supervisor, and my former friend who I also worked with when I was a security officer. They both went all out to tear me down, undermine me, and browbeat me into submission, and I reacted - I tried to stand up for myself, tell them they were wrong, but it always fell on deaf ears, like I was talking to a brick wall. I did everything to try to be better, and to bring myself to a level that they wanted me to be at, but no matter what, they would never give me the chance to show that I was all in for the job and the team. One day, I just woke up and said enough was enough, and I spoke to my manager, asking for a transfer. The biggest insult I got when that happened, was when my friend came to me, telling me that I was making a "big mistake", despite the fact that he was part of the problem, making personal remarks about my size, and me as a person entirely, not just face to face, but by email, text, and social media, and now he wants me to stay, and work hard, and hustle through it? Nah mate.... Ultimately I got my transfer, but not before my friend left the company. And we haven't spoke face to face, in about two years. I also blocked him from everything, so I never get to hear his poison again. Sometimes, people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, in my case, and it is up to you how you handle it. I do regret the situation for how it transpired, because I wasn't strong enough to handle it in the first place, but since then, I have been going all out to find out how to handle myself, should the situation happen again.

[@noweare1]

Don't blame yourself. No one can imagine or expect that this stuff can happen. Now you will be prepared. Don't put up with it, don't be silent.

[@mrstlc68]

My boss is horrible she totally acts like a 3 year old. She throws temper tantrums, throws things, and she will be really nasty to the employees if she is mad at them. I've been on the receiving end a few times. But, shes been with the company for 19 years, management thinks she is wonderful and our customers love her. So, I'm looking for a new job and I intend on having a sit down with the bank president before I leave and give him an earful.

[@andreapirringer7008]

I also think it's important to stay calm in difficult situations and not get emotional or even loud. I had such a situation in which I was yelled at by a woman very violently. But I stayed completely calm. After a while, she realized that she could not achieve anything with her screaming and became a little calmer again. After this experience, I could say that overall, I behaved correctly and she lost her face.

[@SR2ify]

A couple of times I left, just now I'm sticking with it and not letting her win. I tried being nice and professional but I went off on a tangent one day which shocked myself included and she ended up getting a warning. The other times I left it sent me to a better job.xxx

[@Zdlifestyle]

I am so grateful for this video Hun - I went through something similar - a few times actually - bullies , manipulative and lazy people. I’m so glad you did this video as I had been thinking about what has happened to me but then started to think of it was me- you just start to doubt yourself. People don’t realise how far this can affect people. Thank you so so so much Hun - I feel so much better ♥️

[@sandyd6596]

I had a few situations like this. I was working in a rather tensed environment to begin with, but since I was only temporarily there I tried to not pay too much attention. However, I did have multiple incidents of people just straight up accusing me of things I didn't do, rather than just ask politely & have a conversation. I had to stand up for myself a few times. I'm not a confrontational person, but I really dislike it when people just assume things, rather than ask. I think the overall atmosphere in a place of work makes all the difference & sometimes people just react according to that.

[@jessicacaldwell9287]

Thank you so much for sharing this Sophie! Wonderful advice. This is something that I have experienced in my workplace. You are 100% right about the need to confront the bully directly. It can be so scary to have that conversation but in my experience it has the best chance of getting the bully to change their behaviour. Going over their head to management or Human Resources can escalate the situation and cause the bully to become even more difficult to work with.

[@kryssaroycroft8621]

Really great advice, so important to remain professional in this situation!

[@Gabrielegarita]

There is always that person that has been in a company forever but don’t progress , then you walk in all happy and enthusiastic and get further than them in a short space of time.

[@JomariBatitis]

I've been freelancing for 7 years. I tried working in a corporate full time for a year and just got the same experience. I thought i was the crazy one because all i can think of was why are they doing this to me (simple bullying as if i dont notice it). They are very consistent and when i told this to my manager, the next thing was I dont know what they talked about. My manager also bullied me and my other colleague in simplest form that it cant be notice in the first place, but they're very consistent that i feel attacked and being power tripped. Im not telling that freelancing is better but I worked with different people and they loved me and respected me on what I am doing. But in this particular company i worked with( full time), it was my first experienced being bullied. I felt drained everyday going to work, my back hurts and depressed about it. i dont deserve it everyday. It gaves me anxiety and just resigned. I'm currently freelancing again and if I go work full time, i hope it never happens again and i'll try your tips.Thank you.

[@whereislaurensian9063]

This video couldn't have come at a better time, I'm literally going through the same thing. My manager is asking me to do the work of others who claim they're busy but then sit there doing other things for a good portion of the day. I don't want to be mean and grass them up to the manager but I told him he needs to take a closer look at who is doing what and go from there, hopefully he will realise, otherwise I am handing my resignation in.

[@girlygirl9766]

I have the same problem :(

[@aishalee5924]

I just recently sent my notice to my CEO that I quit and when he asked me I explained to him that my manager AND my creepy coworker were messing up my paycheck with the scheduling on purpose. Long story short with the backing of my other coworkers and the other managers that knew me, I was offered a new manager, a raise and a promotion. I accepted because I loved the job and really didn’t feel like trying to get established all over again at a new place. Just like she said sometimes you just got to take a stand (professionally of course). I was professional about it - even when I explained my situation to the higher ups. Professional is ALWAYS the best way to go.

[@JD213]

I used to work for a large corporate company, one of the main directors was the biggest issue. He was supposed to be Monday to Friday 9-5 but never turned up on a Monday (always had food poisoning from a weekend BBQ 🧐), never came in on a Friday (because of some home improvement emergency) would often be missing half way through the week because of heavy traffic, and would turn up between 11-12 each morning he actually bothered to come in. Just as we would be getting ready to leave for the day, he’d call a 3 hour meeting at 4:30 so we all had to stay late unpaid. He got a TVR as a company car and a healthy six figure salary. It took 15 years for it to catch up to him and the ceo to finally do something about him 🙄

[@ellisrose8017]

same took 12 years and my mgr was transferred. this story is just unbelievable. before my experience the past year, i would've never believed people could be so vile and mean and manipulating. Do you still work there? And if so, did it get better after the Director left?

[@bonniebunny25]

Amazing that management can get away with such bs behavior.

[@juliannegan3137]

Thanks for posting this video Sophie- just what I need right now. Not been sleeping for a few days as I’ve been up thinking about a really negative situation at work. So basically there is an aggressive bully who is taking credit for things that I had done before her job was even created. I spoke to her directly but she got really defensive and aggressive. I work on two teams- I adore all of my work colleagues on team 1 and on team 2 there are a lot of people I supervise with attitude problems (mostly in their 20s). Seriously do not feel like going to work everyday and I’m looking for another job now. As you said, such situations sometimes serves as blessing in disguise! I appreciate there will always be mean people anywhere I go. So I tell myself to look at the bright side of things & think about the awesome people ☀️🌈

[@silkenrustle]

it's s true that you never know what others have going on in their personal lives, but you can't let that tear you down in the process. if you've tried being positive and helping them and nothing has worked then you must leave. the more you stay around people like that, the more likely it is that they're going to drag you to their level or you'll become so bitter and stressed that you end up like them. you MUST put your own wellbeing FIRST.

[@richardmclean5913]

A great video, thanks for the level -headed approach, given we live in a world with so much superficiality.

[@eleonoramerini2840]

Thanks Sophie !! Much needed. I am dealing with a manipulitive boss and his "golden boy". I am leaving after trying evething reciing more manipulation and lies. I have found another opportunity menawile....

[@samanthawaterhouse3262]

I was bullied by a woman a few years back. I confronted her but she made me feel inferior as she was a manipulative cow. I documented everything that happened as this helped my cause. She was eventually made redundant, but she made my life hell.

[@bluehydrangea5506]

I'm on the verge of quitting my retail job. I have bpd and I've got a pretty good handle on it but it just amplifies the feelings of being isolated/hurt by some not so great coworkers. I mean, I shouldn't call in sick and 2 seconds later get a nasty text from a coworker.

[@dontworryaboutit2578]

Hair on point 🙌💇

[@suzysuzym4738]

Her hair looks so bomb!

[@hersecretfitness65]

I’m currently going through it right now at Starbucks. My grandfather committed suicide during the pandemic and it’s been pretty tough to stay positive. All the emotions that I was suppressing ( to work two jobs and school ) came up during the pandemic and I’m just now back on calm waters thank God. - I try to connect to people though music and my coworkers make fun of me for it so now I don’t say s€%^ and they are now making up false accusations. - if you saw how they looked you would understand why they are so bitter. Idk why I have issues with female mgmt , even was forced to quit a union job at the four points by Sheraton because they told me I had to choose between work & college.

[@Karalolcowlaw]

Try to move on to a new job where possible, i purchased a $10 resume template off Etsy and have had a lot of success with it. I review and update the information on my resume constantly, its time well spent.

[@lauragraham4888]

People that bully, harass or make their colleagues at work feel uncomfortable can get so bad that it is detrimental to individuals mental health. All companies should have policies in place to deal with this but were they don't I recommend people carry a notebook (even if they do actually), write down anything that happens, date time etc, who was there (any witnesses) and the nature of what happened. Employees can actually prove if management treat them less favourably after they've made a complaint/raised a grievance by keeping a record for themselves, it might sound a bit of an annoying thing to do but many times I've been representing employees that had something to reference back that helped their case. We will probably encounter a difficult colleague at some stage of our working life but it's how we outsmart them in the end that will get results. Communication as well with your employer is always key, eseif there is another colleague you can trust. Thanks for the video!

[@llamageekchic]

Hi Sophie! I really wish you made this video 2 weeks ago as I was struggling at my workplace with a bully and I got fired as a result. I was a concession manager and another concession manager who was pregnant was making my life hell, spreading rumors, threatening me and constantly throwing abuse my way. I confronted her and I got fired as a result. I was shocked and appauled to how the company treated me, but at the same time it's given me the opportunity to step out of retail.

[@guybythedoor88]

Sophie, I could listen to you read a phone book. I am really bad at cross platform questioning and I need to get better at Instagramming, but I have a question. The next time you are talking to your Bentley assistant, could you ask them how difficult it is to order a car without the Bentley emblems? Love everything you do. Branching out to social advice is brilliant. Thank you for being you!

[@silc.1002]

Bullies have no fear in your situation these ugly people are super jealous of you cuz of your beauty intelligence and charisma

[@sofiehennekens2397]

Absolutely loved this video! I’ve dealt with bullying and harassment on the work floor unfortunately from a very young age. I would love to see a video on general confrontation as this is something that I struggled and still struggle with. Especially when it comes to coming up with responses on the spot. Lots of love from the Netherlands!

[@samantha6670]

So true. Confronting he/she on the moment in a humoristic way can disarm the person as well.

[@loritriplett1089]

Thank you so much I am going thru this right now with my manager I am having a very hard time dealing with the stress come home every night crying. Thank you 🙏

[@meganslifeandstyle3413]

In my first job I had an extremely difficult time with a manager, and the fact I was underpaid... this woman despised me and made it extremely clear, it got to the point that one shift I was preparing to clock out, and as I began gathering my things she confronted me aggressively, and screamed in my face, I spoke calmly to her however it began escalating so much that another member of staff had to intervene because of how aggressive she was acting. I ended up leaving the company soon after as the aggressive behaviour continued, however senior management stood by her, but I've continued to get better jobs, and now I go back and laugh to myself when I see her doing what I used to do, as she's been demoted... karma really does exist.

[@MissFanCulture]

You are one of my new favorite youtubers. You’re inspiring about professional dealings and you’re obsessed with handbags. I also love your travel vlogs and your daily stuff. Thanks!

[@Sampiesscampies]

At my previous job I used to work with a chronic liar, she delegated her work to others because first she was 'new' then she was 'stressed' then it was something else. Meanwhile she always had a bad attitude yelling at colleagues and suppliers for no reason, being rude to clients etc. It got so bad suppliers and clients complained about her and yet the manager did NOTHING. One day I heard her scream at some colleagues and I got so sick of it. I went in, yelled wtf is going on. Went to HR and demanded they would do something asap. I wasn't going to leave until someone finally did something. I was one of the youngest working there so it was hard to stand my ground. Then higher management got wind of it and forced the manager to fire her. That horrible colleague then went on a convenient sick leave for a month so she couldn't get fired...meanwhile me and the colleagues teamed up and gave official statements against her so the corporate lawyer had a case to fire her. They looked into her computer and it turned out she never did much, all she did was reading the Daily Mail and chatting with friends. She also lied about her resume! Other companies had similar experiences with her apparently. Not long after the manager became the laughing stock of the company and she went on sick leave for a whole year! We ended up with her work. Occasionally we would see facebook updates of her holidays and her company car which she kept. I even bumped into her once when she was shopping with her mom! I work for a better company now and I realize how toxic this environment was. You can't make this shit up! Love your channel!! Xoxo from Belgium

[@ci.ci.1998]

Sampiesscampies Oh wow!

[@theresamarie7091]

Loved this video, currently going through this at my workplace. My manager micromanages, which isn’t so great, But, I have a great co worker that i can vent to

[@blancadiaz9917]

I was bullied and harassed by a supervisor who used to be my friend . There were times when I could see myself grabbing her neck and hitting her face as hard as I could. Everything I did was worse than an offense to her, my co workers stop visiting me because she could stare at them with anger. I dream with her almost every time and cry oh my . I didn’t want to go to work no more and my health deteriorated so much that my doctor raised my hypertension meds to 185 mg daily . One day she argue with me so loud and told me to leave the office for ever. I had already ask for transfer to another program but nothing happen. She got sick and that same week 1 year and 5 and a half months later my transfer arrived. When she return I gave her a copy of the letter and the hypocrite told me “ we had our problems but I had hope that transfer letter never came , but since we work in the game floor we will see each other everywhere “.Since she is not around I feel free.

[@MadlyInAngerWithYou9]

Thanks for this video Sophie :) I feel a little better about my situation with colleagues at work. I don't have a solution for my problem - but I know that it will solve itself since 3 out of 4 of the girls I have to work with, will leave this year. Since I work in a lab, we all work in a different fields so I can't say that they impact my work directly, but they do make me feel extremely alone and confused. Since I'm the newest on the job, whatever I ask them, I never get a normal answer but instead a 2hr digression about something else, leaving me with even more questions than before. Also, this what I do is so advanced in science, that there are no books for it. I'm depending on last year's science papers and general logic - and in the end, experiments. They dislike me because my boss likes me and we have a good relationship. They don't. They always badmouth him and talk shit behind his back every single day. So I assume they talk shit about me too, because I noticed they really dislike how I dress and look. I work in a high ranked institute - I don't want to come looking like a hobo to my workplace. But apparently dressing up means that I'm just some stupid blonde/pinkhair girl. They also called me my boss' puppet since I listen to what he says and his ideas and proposals. I laugh these things off, since they told that to my face with the explanation "how cute", but it was pretty rude in my eyes. And then how to communicate or even ask anything when noone really knows how to "share" this knowledge or they constantly change the topic of my questions and ask me things which have nothing to do with it, just to make me look dumb since I have no answers to their extra additional 50 questions on the top of mine? It's a sticky situation. I am working on my own, alone, reading everything and slowly getting to where I want to be. It is much slower than it would be if they just gave me normal answers here and there, but it's okay. I'm doing it on my own. And in the end - they will soon leave. I know it's at the moment very frustrating, but I know that when younger people come and I won't be the youngest anymore, I wont be as half that shitty towards the newbies as these guys were towards me. And then they were giving me a lecture the other day about how they need to stay professional and how unprofessional I am because I am friendly and nice towards everyone. ....lol

[@debcomly2481]

Keep your chin up!!! They seem jealous. Hugs

[@mariabrown-doig6811]

My last job I had gave me a real lesson which was never to work with close friends! I made that mistake thinking we were going to be friends forever but we aren't! But I made sure I was polite to her since she was an assitant manager. Be polite to them and dont give them something to use against you because it could get nasty!

[@ci.ci.1998]

Maria Brown-Doig 👏🏼

[@ihartsnowyo]

Great advice! I would also add that it's very difficult to make the decision to leave when you're right in the middle of things, but once you do, you wonder what took you so long. My team had a lot of complaints one time that we took to our manager. His response was "If you don't like working here you can go sell shoes at WalMart.". I should have walked down to HR or left the company but I stayed for another year, and only looking back did I realize how abusive it was. You always have options.

[@MulataLinda8]

Thankyou so much, oh my gosh. Straight to the point and just what i needed to hear. I watched other videos, some were too long, some gave you the 2 different types of bullies and their examples, but didn't really exactly say how to deal with them. But with your video it was to the T. Thanks!!!

[@moonspotting]

I have been bullied and have felt the dislike of my direct line manager. It was underhanded and passive aggressive behaviour from leaving me off meeting invites to denigrating my performance in front of the entire team. In the end I resigned and moved on it was all power play and the culture of the company was not receptive of constructive feedback from employees. Each company will have it's own set of politics, keep abreast of it and know how to manage your manager. Interestingly enough, these types of people are intolerant of anything or anyone that might make them look 'bad' (whether perceived or false), they tend to be highly assertive of their abilities and highly critical of others. If anyone else is going through this, remember your mental health is so much more important than anything else.

[@aliciar5288]

as soon as this came up in my sub box i clicked right away. for about 2 years i've worked with this one girl, she was always someone who got into drama with co-workers but was incredible at kissing ass to the management. Like you said, you never know what someone is dealing with so i always did my best to be nice to her, listen to her when she needed someone, buy her lunch and coffees all the time... just to then have her start to bully me. i told the management about it and they didn't take me seriously (obviously because she had manipulated them). after months of trying to tell them that she was making my work life hell she finally lost her cool and actually assaulted me at work in front of witnesses! i don't want to say i'm happy i got hit in the face but if that was what had to happen for her to get justice then so be it. Its been about 2 months since this happened, she hasn't been fired (which is complete bullshit if you ask me) but is on her final warning. now with the help of 2 new managers (who don't favourite her like the last one did) we keep track of everything she says to other people. if anything happens, even one mean comment, shes done. i'm not gonna say being nice to everyone isnt going to work, but sometimes you just cant help crazy. if anything like this does happen DONT get revenge, its always better to wait for karma to do her work, because sooner or later it'll catch up with them.

[@NishWon]

Omg. I so love your talk videos. I can not explain how much helpful this is. So much appreciate your advice and tips. Your words are always so genuine. THANK YOU!

[@Dreamsiam1412]

I had one person who happened to be very annoying at work, she takes personal calls around the whole team and speak about personal things at load, she used to play music on high and never use headphones (not to mention her bad taste in music). I tried so many time indirectly to tell her to lower the volume yet she didn’t care, so one i had to speak directly yet kindly at that time she LITERALLY meant to refuse. Hence i went to the person who’s above me and her to speak to her. Her reaction was, got angry, and daily invite everyone out to leave me alone at the office. Just to be clear, our team was DESIGN team architects and interior designer so we all need to be fully concentrated on the work. I used to be unable to focus on generating an idea while she speaks to her “lover” next to my ear.

[@ci.ci.1998]

Al-Shatry Ahlam Oh my! 🤭