Deciding Between a Relationship Reset and a Breakup

In our disposable society, it’s easy to believe that if your relationship requires constant work and effort, something is inherently wrong with it, and the best solution is to break up. This mindset is flawed because even the best relationships, those we admire, require daily nurturance and effort to stay connected and close. Relationships are alive, and if left without attention and frequent communication, they become dull and stagnant.
That said, it’s equally important to recognize when a relationship is not going well and a breakup is necessary. However, I encourage partners to try a relationship reset before giving up on their relationship. If a reset doesn’t work, then a breakup is a valid and important step to consider. This video offers some suggestions to help you unravel what’s going on so the two of you can negotiate the best approach for your relationship in a slump.
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Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist, specializing in intimacy, parenting, body image, and relationships.
Reaction Reset is a self-help series that explains the psychology behind why we react negatively and how we can begin to make a positive change. Subscribe for a new episode every other Wednesday!
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[@uncle0eric]

Just don't make the mistake of thinking that taking time separately is the same as taking a 'break.' The only difference between a break and a breakup is the expectation that a break is probably only temporary. But people nearly always abandon relationship commitments during a break (using it to justify going out with and sleeping with other people, for instance). The expectation that a relationship can just pick up where it left off after a break is unrealistic, because no real work has been done on the relationship, and often harm has been done to it.

[@gatorshea5379]

A break or separation results in an end to or divorce in over 80 percent of relationship. Zero work is being done to fix what was not working, and the two drift apart despite likely being a good couple. It's no surprise that a lack of commitment is the biggest reason for divorce.

[@edwizard62]

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