Decoding Dating Games- Are They Hot & Cold With Everyone Or Just YOU?

Are they hot and cold with everyone? Or is it ONLY with you? Here’s how to decode hot and cold relationships to learn if you’re the only one being played, or you’re just another pawn in their game.
Andreya writes, “Hii Susan !! First of all I wanted to tell how much I love your videos and how much they’ve helped me. In your video “letting go of them and the dream “ you were talking about a hot n cold ex that will also be hot n cold with their next partner. But I think it was just my behavior that made him like that because with his new gf he is completely different. Or do you think he just learned?”
I’ve done a lot of videos on decoding hot & cold. Why? Because unfortunately it has become far too common a behavior in our world of modern dating.
‘Hot & Cold’ is characterized by erratic shifts between affection, then pulling away- all of which leaves you questioning your worth, and moreover, your sanity. Are you the only one experiencing this type of bad behavior? Is it something you’re doing? Or are you merely a pawn in your partner’s intricate gameplay?
Figuring out where the truth lies is a lot more complicated than just deciphering the words your partner’s said. It’s looking at their actions, intentions, and following their patterns. (I’ve got loads of videos on this, so please check out the entire playlist: Dating Games, Mixed Messages, and Red Flags).
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[@sindhusekar1918]

You are amazing Susan. ❤

[@YouTubeUzername]

I used to wonder about this VERY often but then I saw one of your videos and you mentioned that it does not matter if they treat the other person better, all that matters is that they didn’t treat you good. Hearing you say that provided complete clarity.

[@SusanWinter]

That’s correct!!’

[@destinychild4659]

I think some people just act hot and cold, because they are just not into certain person. Sad, but true.

[@SusanWinter]

That’s true as well. But with the really not into person, they eventually get less hot and far cooler with greater gaps of time in between.

[@Edward_Strong1982]

Or it could mean someone else has their attention. Happen to me once. Found out guy was hot and cold with me because he already had someone he was extremely interested in and they started dating. I was the back up plan 😑

[@karolinap8313]

I think in my case (before listening to the video) hot - once they see a profit out of you, cold - once they don´t need you and cirlce goes on. I also consider if he has another women in his cold phases and just comes back once it is convenient.

[@SydneyWest]

The hot and cold. What I find is they are saying with their actions, I want you in the present, but I may not want you in the future. So, I’m going to keep you around until someone “better” comes along. You need to be direct with the person and let them come clean. If after a conversation, and the behavior is the same - walk away because they will in the future when anther “option” becomes available.

[@SydneyWest]

I forgot to add, it is a form of passive aggressive behavior. They are saying with their actions don’t get too comfortable.

[@SusanWinter]

@@SydneyWest very interesting

[@SusanWinter]

Yes, I think your commentary is solid. Thanks for this perspective.

[@amiraghadakrim3021]

Hi Susan, it's Mira, Thank you for your quick and effective reply on my question by mail. Sending you much love from Algeria

[@SusanWinter]

You are so welcome!

[@sofiaekholm1140]

Thank you! good timing. I've been wondering about this too, especially when you know for sure you only been sweet and nice to them. But still get this bad behavior

[@SusanWinter]

Glad we have our timing in sync

[@OurFavouriteClips]

Ahh Susan you’re amazing. I’ve listening to dating coaches for years but I feel like you talk about things that no other coach talks about

[@SusanWinter]

I truly appreciate that comment because that is indeed my intention. You know all the basic stuff from everyone out there. Not just on KZbin. Our friends, family, etc.. So that’s very well covered. I find the really interesting aspects are the thing that nobody’s discussing that are absolutely pivotal to a person finding and keeping love. So please know how much I appreciate your commentary and thank you.

[@face2799]

Covert Narcissists do that, even if they aren't it's still toxic and immature behavior and not worth your time

[@beverlybenjamin5947]

Love your videos. What is your definition of hot and cold? Now that I have watched some of your videos, I feel like the person I am dating is more like the sometimes trying to deny a connection type.

[@laineymac8430]

Hello Susan. Greetings from Scotland. I discovered your channel after I was ghosted back at the beginning of April. I realize now that the signs were all there as he was very hot and cold before the discard. I wondered exactly the same thing...was it just me? Getting embarrassed now as I can't seem to get over it.

[@SusanWinter]

Firstly, thank you for writing to me. And secondly, try to fight the urge to feel embarrassed--letting go isn’t easy or I wouldn’t have done hundreds of videos on obsession and how to let go (for good). I really appreciate your commentaries so thank you.

[@ilenek.5428]

Susan! Sweet, smart, lovely Susan ;)

[@SusanWinter]

Oh thank you!

[@frankodozi5349]

Hi Susan, will your book ‘Older Women, Younger Men’ come as an ebook on iTunes please?

[@SusanWinter]

They never did an audio version of it. However, you can get it still in an e-book I believe. It went out of print in 2022 so if you find any copies, they are rare. I only have one and it is dog-eared for reference.

[@frankodozi5349]

Thanks Susan, I managed to get a print version and from what I have read so far it is really good. I like ebooks so that I can keep them stored for future reference whereas paper books can get lost or chewed by a dog 😂

[@clarijanebelliones8468]

Hi Susan! What do you think of the movie “The Idea of You”?

[@SusanWinter]

I see it in my feed, but I have not yet watched it. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about it and especially what aspects you found interesting

[@clarijanebelliones8468]

Hi! Thank you for replying! I don’t think you will but this is really awesome! I also read the book and it was a different ending. It was actually a sad one. I’ve been watching your videos for a long time now… It’s hard to be that opens like the character Solene… I actually appreciate that about her. And dating a younger man, wow! That’s brave!

[@SusanWinter]

@@clarijanebelliones8468 I watch TV the way I read a book… I finished the entire thing before I move onto something else. Right now I'm watching "Killing Eve"- but because you think this is a really important series for me to watch, I will do so and I'm making a note right right now

[@rehammua]

😂 totally

[@SusanWinter]

❤❤❤❤❤