Depersonalization from Weed: Paul's Recovery Story (2023)

⚡ Start YOUR 💯 recovery from DPDR today! 👉🏼 www.dpmanual.com/purchase/
02:07 LSD + Magic Mushrooms
04:39 "I thought I was being punished"
08:01 Depersonalization from Weed
11:37 Bad Weed Experiences In The Past?
14:00 Seeing a Psychiatrist
19:06 My Hands Don't Feel Real
22:31 Reality Checks
26:16 DPDR stops when you forget about it
27:31 "I'm grateful that I had DPDR"
29:31 The Lowest Point
32:15 Anxiety Spikes During Recovery
38:46 I Can't Even Remember How DPDR Felt!
43:06 The DP Manual
47:35 What Depersonalization Recovery Feels Like
52:09 Can You REALLY Get Back To Normal?
Paul is 30 years old. He first developed DPDR in late 2021, triggered by a bad weed experience.
Over the next 18 months he struggled with DPDR. But thankfully, has since made a complete recovery -- And as he said to me in a recent email: "I am is 100% cured and healed and going on with my life." 😊👏
In this interview Paul tells me all about his experience with and recovery from weed-induced Depersonalization Disorder.
Download my complete DPDR recovery program:
www.dpmanual.com/purchase
Connect with me!
/ depersonalizationmanual
/ dpmanual
Disclaimer: Please note that the medical information contained within this video is not intended as a substitute for consultation with a professional physician and is not a recommendation of specific therapies.

[@crayonangelss23]

I just want to appreciate this man’s English skills. To express yourself on such a deep, complex topic in another language is no easy feat, so bravo! Speaking of which, learning a new language is a fantastic distraction 😊

[@Dpmanual]

Agreed, Paul's command of English is amazing! 😊

[@pauliusmarcisauskas8891]

Thank you very much :)

[@Dpmanual]

@@pauliusmarcisauskas8891 😊😊

[@crayonangelss23]

@@pauliusmarcisauskas8891 ☺️☺️ of course! You have no idea how much your story helps my recovery. You described things I thought only I dealt with. Thank you for sharing.

[@turnedfan7810]

These videos take a weight off my shoulders so much. Thank you for being a great source for discussion and questions. When im having a bad phase with DPDR, one of these videos make me feel better for weeks. This is a great community and i wish everyone the best on their recovery/research

[@Dpmanual]

So glad the videos have been helpful 😊

[@vinylg3421]

Omg that memory thing is so accurate.. he has named what i have veen feeling for years

[@Dpmanual]

Don’t worry, worries about loss of memory or time are super common with DPDR. I know they can be scary but they will fade away and stop completely as you recover 😊 www.dpmanual.com/articles/depersonalization-and-memory-loss/

[@vinylg3421]

@@Dpmanual tbh I am not worried about memory loss directly... it is just a scary feeling. I didn't know what this feeling was that I have been going through .. thanks Shaun ❤

[@Dpmanual]

@@vinylg3421 Happy to help 😊

[@wiggleysniff6645]

I have this super weird symptom and im hoping im not the only one.. i feel like i see everything in my vision, but im not SEEING anything... almost like im not percieving anything. I can clearly see and interact with my surrounds, but it legit feels like im blind at the same time.. its such a weird feeling bc how is that even possible??? It feels like im going crazy.

[@kingkea3451]

Yep, that's normal. You're not going crazy. Normal symptom of DP/DR. I get it too.

[@Xero_Clips]

100% Normal, I HAD the exact same

[@wiggleysniff6645]

@@Xero_Clips thank goddd. It's such a crazy sensation. It legit feels like im either going blind or I'm just going to stop comprehending my surroundings and go catatonic or something. I hate it sm.

[@emilyc3385]

anixety causes such weird symptoms! drdp is so weird the sensations you get physically and feel visually is trippy, feels so odd.. sometimes my vision goes straight blurry 🥲

[@carolinamuller1822]

Yes, I can relate. I usually explain this feeling in another way I guess but that's it

[@justhenry___]

I had a very similar journey to DPDR. Lots of psychedelic experimenting and a relentless weed habbit eventually triggered my breakdown from just one joint of all things. What you said about reading too much into the DPDR experience was especially true for me. I too have a strong intellectual appetite for the field of ontology and I remember thinking that I was passing into another dimension or surfing some astral plane of existence where reality was forver broken to me. I annoyingly developed a nasty case of visual snow and static as a symptom which encouraged me to seriously over indulge in these fantasies. Truly the most terrifying experience I think one can go through. I managed to recover and have quit all recreational drugs ever since. Apart from the insane nightmares that were primarily the result of quitting weed and dreaming for the first time in 7 years, it was actually quite easy for me to give that all up as all I had to do when I got tempted was to think back to how terrifying things were for me in the peak of it. In many ways, my experience, as scary as it was, was probably the best thing to ever happen to me. I ended up quitting a job I hated, started going to the gym, lost 15kg and then got my dream job. It fundamentally changed the person I was to the point where my closest friends and family would comment on how i was a "different person". One hard truth I have come to realise is that these thoughts can creep back in but I am much better equipped to manage and deal with them now. Do full recoveries actually exist without the risk of relapse? I went 11 months without any such thought and then one day recently I had a bit of a wobble but bounced back from it.

[@pauliusmarcisauskas8891]

Sounds really similar to my case. I think that healing is possible only when the condition is understood ;) so well done :)

[@jesussantacruz1298]

I know this is all a symptom of anxiety but sometimes it’s so hard to live like this

[@Dpmanual]

I know it can be tough but remember that ultimately it's harmless and temporary and you can and will recover ❤️ www.dpmanual.com/articles/back-to-normal-after-depersonalization/ And if you would like to speak to a medical professional please don't hesitate to do so. I would recommend finding an anxiety specialist if possible as they will likely be more familiar with DPDR.

[@jesussantacruz1298]

@@Dpmanual thank you for noticing my text , I appreciate you a lot and what you do . I feel like every day it’s a different symptom and I know I won’t give up I push myself to be uncomfortable so my body realIzes I’m in no danger. I know every symptom will pass as time passes but these symptoms are insane . I’ll keep pushing and won’t stop tho . Thanks again !

[@Dpmanual]

@@jesussantacruz1298 Happy to help, keep up the good work! 😊

[@binskins1006]

damn brother ive been stuck constantly in derealization for 4 years due to brain damage. dont even remember what its like to not feel like im in a dream. cant drive or even walk around my block. its good to see other people recover tho, living like this has sent me to the absolute depths of the existential rabbit hole.

[@jason34796]

sorry to hear this bro. How was your brain damage, what happened to you?

[@binskins1006]

@@jason34796 i was 14 and prescribed a medication called cymbalta. it completley damaged some parts of my brain and completley altered my brain chemistry. im going to be 19 now and my whole life is basically gone on top of alot of other things as well.

[@user-mm6wu4hg9l]

What brain damage do you have

[@turnedfan7810]

I'm sorry bro, I hope you feel better eventually. That sounds very hard to deal with.

[@drEAmzZzza]

i have the same from brain damage, encephalitis. u too?

[@marielacarinamanjon381]

You’ve gained a fan and I came across your channel looking for help for my 18 yr old daughter who is suffering so much with DPDR. I’ve never heard of it until she told me. I don’t know how else to help her because she truly thinks she’s going insane. The psychiatrist gave her Prozac but I would like to know, besides your manual. What’s better? A therapist? A psychologist?? I don’t know how else to help her. I’ll share your channel with her and I’m sure she’ll feel relive. Thank you

[@scotchvelo]

My feelings of disconnection seem to be fueled by terrible intrusive FEELINGS…despair, hopelessness, impending doom. Thing is, I have no clue WHY I have these feelings, they just showed up during an anxiety attack. I'm not feeling hopeless ABOUT anything in my life (other than these crappy thoughts) if that makes sense. The circumstances of my life are very enviable, and I don't have much external stress. But as a result of these horrifying thoughts, I go around all day feeling so upset that I don't feel like I used to feel in this situation, or this situation, or when I see my cat, or when I see that tree...do you know what I mean? I am disconnected from my normal, happy feelings, even at the smallest things. Can this approach still work for me?

[@jackdamanchan]

I have the exact same experience and situation

[@CLEARCUT-INDIAN]

Im from india .I recovered from deprsonalization just by seeing your vedio on dp Thankyou brother so much .my dp was started in 2019 i was suffering till 2021 than i got your channel after some month i feeling starting more motivated that ill nt get crazy and gradually i started recovering

[@Dpmanual]

Very glad to hear the videos have been helpful 😊

[@Justafayze]

Hahah holy shit i tried to describe this to people and no one understood what I meant when I said it felt like “I was forgetting things as they were happening” lmao

[@Dpmanual]

Don't worry, concentration + memory issues are very common with DPDR 😊 I know they can be frustrating but they will fade away and stop as your recovery continues: www.dpmanual.com/articles/depersonalization-and-memory-loss/

[@christinadodd5780]

For as long as I can remember, I've felt like my body is not mine, and I'm not here. When I look in the mirror, it isn't me. I have never been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder and my symptoms are mostly depersonalization rather than derealization. I'm not concerned; I don't know any different, but I was wondering about smoking marijuana. I'll use it occasionally, but I don't really like it. It never relaxes me, and my depersonalization symptoms become worse. Do people with dissociative disorders like using marijuana or does it make the symptoms worse? I'm curious about it.

[@ricchboyjj3425]

shawn i need help man bad. I got it from weed in december then it went away in a few days and then i smoked after that a couple times. nothing happened , then i smoked one more time and i got it again but it went away. i don’t even smoke like that. and then randomly in february i got it and i’ve had it since and it’s destroying my life. i can’t get it to go away and i’m struggling bad can u please help

[@Dpmanual]

Hey, thanks for your comment 😊 Don’t worry, that all sounds like a very typical case of weed-induced DP to me. I know it can be frightening but remember that it's just your body and brain's natural response to stress and anxiety. It's not permanent and it can't hurt you 😊 You can and will recover. Make sure to read through all the info and articles on my website at www.dpmanual.com And if you would like to speak to a medical professional please don't hesitate to do so. I would recommend finding an anxiety specialist if possible as they will likely be more familiar with DPDR.

[@HardlocK-uo3qx]

My head feels like covered with air bag feels like i can't understand what i read and hear ,feels like there not absorbing in my brain,.and then Fears come i feel like everythings unfamiliar even my body is unfamiliar for me like im going to forget everything even though i know all

[@Dpmanual]

Hey, thanks for your comment 😊 I know DPDR can be scary but just remember that it’s a natural reaction to stress and anxiety, and people experience it all the time. The National Institute on Mental Illness estimates that up to 75% of people experience at least one depersonalization / derealization episode in their lives. It's part of your brain's natural defence mechanism and usually it only lasts a few seconds or minutes at a time. It's only when it's focused on as a separate problem (feeling like you're going crazy / in a dream etc) that it can turn into a feedback loop with the anxiety that caused it in the first place. But no matter what caused it or how long you've had it, you can always switch it off completely by stopping that anxious feedback loop. Make sure to carefully read through all the articles and info on my website at www.dpmanual.com and my book The Depersonalization Manual. And if you would like to speak to a medical professional please don't hesitate to do so. I would recommend finding an anxiety specialist if possible as they will likely be more familiar with DPDR 👍

[@jason34796]

hello, I see everything unreal, like a dream and I feel like I'm going to lose consciousness or forget everything and I don't recognize myself in the mirror. I would like to know if this is harmless and by losing the fear of the sensation I can head towards recovery.

[@christianwallin4993]

It will go away eventually. It's uncomfortable but it's nothing dangerous and it will pass.

[@Dpmanual]

Don't worry, DPDR, like all anxiety-based conditions, is completely harmless and not dangerous 😊www.dpmanual.com/articles/proof-that-depersonalization-is-not-dangerous/

[@user-sy1hh8dd4f]

why i lost my head. i feel like i dont know who i am. does it normal?

[@user-sy1hh8dd4f]

thanks shaun. i have alienation with my head. this is som hard for my. always 24/7 i dont know who i am. i dont know what is this. every day i lost my head. when i talk or movie his is so alien.😑😮‍💨😔does it dp? my head scared my always and i cant stay alone. what is this? please tell me.

[@lowkyfyre5815]

i’m right here with you its ok and we can all get through this are brains are just trying to protect ourselves and it’s causing us to freak out

[@elghazaouiamine180]

Does smoking a cigarette increase dp/dr?

[@araiq7005]

I can't understand what I'm going through at night, even as I move from room to room, I feel my surroundings have changed. how can i heal

[@Dpmanual]

Hey, thanks for your comment 😊 I know DPDR can be scary but just remember that it’s a natural reaction to stress and anxiety, and people experience it all the time. The National Institute on Mental Illness estimates that up to 75% of people experience at least one depersonalization / derealization episode in their lives. It's part of your brain's natural defence mechanism and usually it only lasts a few seconds or minutes at a time. It's only when it's focused on as a separate problem (feeling like you're going crazy / in a dream etc) that it can turn into a feedback loop with the anxiety that caused it in the first place. But no matter what caused it or how long you've had it, you can always switch it off completely by stopping that anxious feedback loop. Make sure to carefully read through all the articles and info on my website at www.dpmanual.com and my book The Depersonalization Manual. And if you would like to speak to a medical professional please don't hesitate to do so. I would recommend finding an anxiety specialist if possible as they will likely be more familiar with DPDR 👍

[@jimmychavez6101]

Are symptoms supposed to go right away or do some of them linger over time and go away little by little? Most of my severe symptoms went away after a few hours. Feeling like I’m in a glass bubble, being a self observer, memory loss, etc. But when I look outside things still seem off. Buildings look cartoonish and hazy. And cars are moving in slow motion. I have visual snow and I’m seeing tons of eye floaters when I look at the sky. Whenever I look outside the atmosphere seems empty, bliss and peaceful, like all of the chaos in the world suddenly got muted, I don’t know how to explain it but it’s not a bad feeling. I’m also getting deja vu more frequently and suddenly getting scared of existential questions that I wasn’t scared of before. I feel normal for the most part, though. But something feels off and I’m very anxious. Do I still have symptoms of derealization or is this just in my head? I still struggle with severe anxiety. It’s like these symptoms disappear when I forget about them and the come back when I remember. Is this just ocd? Or am I still experiencing dp/dr symptoms?

[@ShriekingShrike]

These sound like dpdr symptoms to me. The onset of my dpdr was very similar to this. Remember, it only sticks around because you’re thinking about it! When it comes up, distract yourself, but don’t try and consciously force yourself to stop thinking about it because the opposite will happen. Personally, my symptoms seemed to change day to day or week to week. There will be fluctuations, some symptoms may stick around longer than others, some may only stick around for a day. There’s not any way to know how long it’ll stay, all you can really do is stay strong and get through it (which you definitely will!), all symptoms will fade away eventually

[@jimmychavez6101]

@@ShriekingShrike I appreciate you replying to my comment. I know I’ll feel 100% better one day and I am in fact getting better by the day.

[@turnedfan7810]

​@@jimmychavez6101I've been seeing those eye floaters in the sky forever, always felt alone in that and never would have even known where to start looking or researching. Wish you the best bro

[@thepiyushchahru]

I can't explain exactly what is happening to me. But I get feeling of fear whenever I am outside the home. My body shakes, and my mind sometimes just shuts down. I was not that lazy, but now I don't find any motivation to do anything. Nothing feels good. Also, i am having personal issue of infertility. I am not able to ejeculate. Will I ever recover ? 😢

[@Dpmanual]

Don't worry, DPDR, like all anxiety-based conditions can have temporary physical symptoms like that: www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/symptoms/ And if you would like to speak to a medical professional please don't hesitate to do so. I would recommend finding an anxiety specialist if possible as they will likely be more familiar with DPDR.

[@abbyu8459]

can nausea or feeling light headed be a symptom of dpdr? it seems that every time i get into that panic dissociated state, i tend to get really nauseous and sometimes i can get lightheaded as well.

[@Dpmanual]

Yes, feelings like that are very common with all anxiety-based conditions: www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/symptoms/

[@emz0t226]

I’ve been struggling with dpdr and existential anxiety for about 3 months after a bad trip and it’s taken a huge toll on me. I’ve just been prescribed prozac/fluoxetine and I was just wondering if that’s helpful for dpdr? I’ve tried researching it but I can’t really find anything?

[@Dpmanual]

I'm not a medical professional so can't give you specific recommendations re medication. But please read this article, I think you'll find it useful: www.dpmanual.com/articles/can-medication-cure-depersonalization/

[@eabdalelah]

hi shaun I wanted to ask you: I'm in a very bad dpdr state and it's like i can't even do the basics things like holding a normal conversation without saying something illogical and i'v been this way for 3 days ( i'v been struggling with dpdr for two months) is this Normal to experience? I'm afraid of loosing control over what i say I'm really affraid

[@Dpmanual]

Don’t worry, feelings like that (difficulty with conversation etc) are super common with DPDR and all anxiety-bsaed conditions. I know they can be frustrating but they will fade away and stop as you recover 😊 www.dpmanual.com/about/do-i-have-depersonalization-disorder/ And if you would like to speak to a medical professional please don't hesitate to do so. I would recommend finding an anxiety specialist if possible as they will likely be more familiar with DPDR.

[@eabdalelah]

@@Dpmanual thank you so much

[@Dpmanual]

@@eabdalelah Happy to help 😊

[@user-vy9cv1fr2z]

I feel like I’m outside of my body all the time like I’m watching myself every second of the day it never goes away can that be a symptom with it?

[@Dpmanual]

Don’t worry, feelings like that are super common with DPDR. I know they can be frustrating but they will fade away and stop as you recover 😊 www.dpmanual.com/about/do-i-have-depersonalization-disorder/

[@user-vy9cv1fr2z]

@@Dpmanual thank you for replying and can it also give you this nasty feeling in your skin and face all the time

[@shmokemadeit]

Did anyone else experience extreme tiredness? Then when you try and sleep u can’t??

[@Dpmanual]

Read this, I think you'll find it helpful 😊www.dpmanual.com/articles/why-does-depersonalization-affect-sleep-and-dreams/

[@user-mm6wu4hg9l]

Somebody on here please help me because this isn’t making any sense . When upon waking I literally can’t think at all just a blank mind. No reaction to anything or anyone . Is this normal and what’s causes this . This is not normal waking up this way . Is this normal

[@Dpmanual]

Read this carefully, I think you'll find it very useful 😊 www.dpmanual.com/articles/the-truth-about-blank-mind-syndrome/ And if you would like to speak to a medical professional please don't hesitate to do so. I would recommend finding an anxiety specialist if possible as they will likely be more familiar with DPDR.

[@elghazaouiamine180]

My brother Paul and Sean, is the tobacco cigarette straining the situation?

[@pauliusmarcisauskas8891]

Hi, this is Paul. I was still using it at the beginning, but I left it for good. Because it can create too many ifs, you can start to get obsessive whether it can strain the situation or not, you can feel some mood changes or some cognitive effects after a cigarette and then start to have anxiety about those feelings and then spiral out of control. So my recommendation is to completely give up the habits that mess up your health and consume fresh organic products that are good for your health. Plus tobacco is considered to be a stimulant, so any stimulant in a case of anxiety in my opinion is a no no.

[@elghazaouiamine180]

Can you share with me some tips to overcome this case? Suicide ideas that don't leave me?

[@pauliusmarcisauskas8891]

@@elghazaouiamine180 Hei, I would recommend figuring out if you have depersonalization, and if you do, just do not pay attention to it, it will resolve itself, use organic food, do not use any substance, be patient and love yourself. Ignore the condition, do something that brings you joy ;)

[@niy2059]

hii , everytime i leave the house it turns on like a switch but when at home its pretty calm what can i do i have uni soon and im veryyy scared

[@Dpmanual]

Hey, thanks for your comment 😊 I know DPDR can be scary but just remember that it’s a natural reaction to stress and anxiety, and people experience it all the time. The National Institute on Mental Illness estimates that up to 75% of people experience at least one depersonalization / derealization episode in their lives. It's part of your brain's natural defence mechanism and usually it only lasts a few seconds or minutes at a time. It's only when it's focused on as a separate problem (feeling like you're going crazy / in a dream etc) that it can turn into a feedback loop with the anxiety that caused it in the first place. But no matter what caused it or how long you've had it, you can always switch it off completely by stopping that anxious feedback loop. Make sure to carefully read through all the articles and info on my website at www.dpmanual.com and my book The Depersonalization Manual. And if you would like to speak to a medical professional please don't hesitate to do so. I would recommend finding an anxiety specialist if possible as they will likely be more familiar with DPDR 👍

[@user-sk7pj9cd1h]

hello，I come from China. I want to buy your book. But it seems like I will not find a suitable way to make it. Can you help me,please?

[@Dpmanual]

Hi there 😊 The DP Manual comes with a complete Chinese translation. You can purchase and download it here: www.dpmanual.com/purchase/

[@KaushalyaDeep-qo6rp]

Saun did all those who recovered or infact you got back all your physical senses? Confusion, fumbleness and memory problems were with you ? And did all go away and are you now able to read and sing to a high pitch or tone? I can't write also.

[@Dpmanual]

Yes, recovery means getting 100% back to normal 😊 www.dpmanual.com/articles/back-to-normal-after-depersonalization/

[@kingrobotnik6950]

I’ve been lookin for someone who understands that amnesia thing

[@Dpmanual]

Don’t worry, worries about amnesia / memory loss are super common with DPDR. I know they can be scary but they will fade away and stop completely as you recover 😊 Read this carefully: www.dpmanual.com/articles/depersonalization-and-memory-loss/

[@alangonzalez9001]

How are you now

[@Itsmoeski]

Can dpdr make you notice yourself blinking like you’re watching yourself blink I know it sounds crazy but that’s a symptom I’m so worried about

[@eabdalelah]

yes it's normal dpdr symptom due to hypervigilance

[@Dpmanual]

Yep, hyperawareness of your body and surroundings is a very common symptom of DPDR and all anxiety-based conditions 😊 www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-hypervigilance And if you would like to speak to a medical professional please don't hesitate to do so. I would recommend finding an anxiety specialist if possible as they will likely be more familiar with DPDR.

[@Itsmoeski]

@@Dpmanualthank you for responding and for the information 1 last question can you feel like this all the time 24/7 I’ve been feeling like this for 6 months straight and I feel stuck

[@Dpmanual]

@@Itsmoeski Don't worry, it doesn't matter what caused it, how long it’s lasted, or whether it’s been 24/7 or episodic, you can always switch DPDR off completely by stopping the anxiety that's causing it 😊 Read this carefully: www.dpmanual.com/articles/back-to-normal-after-depersonalization/

[@T56ygh_smoking]

Yes weed has dark sides

[@Dpmanual]

Yep, it can sometimes trigger anxiety-based conditions like DPDR: www.dpmanual.com/articles/weed-hangover/

[@elghazaouiamine180]

I want an honest answer from you, brother , does it benefit you?

[@pauliusmarcisauskas8891]

Hi :) this is Paul ;) if you are talking about DP manual, then yes of course. It was a perfect help at the perfect time. Of course it is not like a miracle drug that cures you in a day or a week. No, it just helps you to look at the condition and at yourself a little bit differently. And through that changed perspective, you give your body/mind a chance to heal. It heals itself, you just have to get out of its way. If you have any other questions, I will be happy to answer ;)

[@Team-Asia1896]

I also want. A video conversation and want to share. My dp experience

[@fighter1991fu]

first

[@Dpmanual]

😊😊