Did YOUR childhood cause your BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)?!

Is BPD caused by childhood trauma? Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental illness that affects millions of people around the world, characterized by unstable moods, behavior, self-image, and relationships. People with BPD often experience intense emotions, impulsive behavior, and difficulty maintaining stable relationships. Although the exact causes of BPD are unknown, research has found that it is likely due to a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors.
10 Signs of Quiet BPD: • Discover the 10 Signs ...
What is Borderline Personality Disorder? • What is Borderline Per...
4 Types of BPD: • Learn About the 4 Type...
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos. Many people wonder whether their childhood trauma or parents caused their BPD, but the truth is that it is a complex and multifaceted condition. While specific experiences may not cause BPD, they can be risk factors that can trigger any tendencies already present in a person. Risk factors are conditions or circumstances that make someone more susceptible to developing a mental illness, but having one or more risk factors does not mean a person will develop BPD. So let's talk all about the causes & symptoms of BPD and also talk about treatment - how we treat BPD whether it be therapy or another form.
Studies have shown that genetics likely play a role in the development of BPD, as it tends to run in families. First-degree relatives of individuals with BPD have a higher risk of developing the disorder themselves, and BPD has a heritability rate of about 30 to 40%. However, genetics alone do not cause BPD, and research in this area is ongoing.
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[@ShaneBlackheart]

As someone with BPD who is pretty far along in recovery with it, I can't tell you how many times I've heard others say their therapist dropped them as soon it was discovered they had BPD. My current therapist has another therapist friend who told her she was foolish for continuing to treat me, and that she should drop me. And it's sad because that person never met me. I've been through a year of DBT group therapy, and I've been an active participant in my treatment for years. Most who meet me are surprised I have BPD. Managing it is very possible, but it's hard to cope with symptoms when many in this world, even professionals, abandon you simply because you have the label, or whole comment sections online talk about how people like me should be avoided or locked up in a psych ward involuntarily. We're already traumatized enough, the world makes it hard to be open. So thank you so much for videos like this, Kati. It humanizes us and teaches others there's more to our story. Many of us are the ones who have suffered abuse, and while that is no excuse for treating another poorly, many of us just want to be loved and understood.

[@Gajdacsi61]

Oh, I understand very well what you mean. We have also had this experience of a psycholgist dropping us when she had realised what the problem was. And she didn't even say anything! Almost twenty years of suffering without the proper treatment... In your case, however, you have made a huge step towards healing by acknowledging having this condition. I have watched all of Kati's videos, and certainly all dealing with BPD. They are great help.

[@abowling5759]

Those therapists who advocate other therapists to not treat someone who has bpd really ought to be ashamed of themselves…..BPD is very treatable and manageable with the right help. I have a niece I love very much who is getting professional treatment for her BPD and is getting better and better…. I honestly can’t imagine professionals turning their backs on patients who have BPD and not even giving them a chance to do the work to get better.😢

[@pwms11]

I've had doctors and other specialists treat me differently because I have BPD. As soon as I say I have BPD and only graduated high school I'm treated like differently. They walk on eggs and go around the point they want to make 15 times, etc. It's hard to get a straight forward answer and such. Add to that I don't have a degree or more schooling and I'm being talked to like I'm still 15 years old. I'm 30. Treat me like a proper adult.

[@maliollyoxenfree1820]

After some research, I began to question if I had BPD. I seemed to have most of the symptoms. When I told my doctor that I thought BPD may be the issue, he stated, "That's not a diagnosis that you want to have" and changed the subject. I was stunned! And so disappointed in our medical system. I haven't mentioned it to another therapist or doctor since.

[@seriouscat2231]

According to Richard Grannon, BPD may not even exist as a thing in reality. Or rather, it is a continuum from silent depression, which is caused by dissatisfaction with oneself, to desperately looking for attachment, to abusively and recklessly looking for attachment, attention and care, which is narcissism. The confusing thing is that BPD is considered to include all these variations, so you might actually be at the silent depression end of BPD and the clinician will immediately think of the unstable and reckless histrionic end of it.

[@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702]

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.” -Carl Jung

[@nowie4007]

Love this quote, so damn relatable

[@saramichael3837]

I am a parent and a counselling student. Invalidating environments plays a role in the this. Gaslighting a child’s reality from an early age and bullying at school from an early age without receiving validation at home is deadly to the sense of self and once a child has no solid sense of self emotional regulation goes out the window. Validating a child’s reality and emotions shape the brain and are the antidote to BPD from childhood. It’s simple but is overlooked in most videos on the topic. Good attunement and emotional mirroring helps children with self regulation and mentalization. The lack of it messes up the brain.

[@ilovepancakes67]

Its both predisposition and parenting. with my own BPD mom, I struggled on how to tolerate my own and then my kids' difficult emotions and tended, in hindsight, to either try and fix them or minimize them with cliches like "this will pass". I now have a daughter with this disorder but another one who does not. The one with the disorder- her temperment was always more sensitive and anxious, she is also very very smart and was highly attuned to me while the other was more independent. So, she likely responded in a much more profound way to lack of consistent validation that I was really unable to provide at that time. She's also my greatest teacher, because I am very engaged in the work of being emotionally present, validating and vulnerability now. I wish I'd known then the emotional literacy that is required to raise healthy kids, esp. in a family with a lot of mental illness.

[@Eshrimpski]

I wish I could just get a brain scan that clarifies what my diagnoses are and then know the best way to treat it. Between a physical disability, depression, anxiety, SH, ED, relationship issues, impulsivity, perfectionism, etc…LIFE.IS.EXHAUSTING…!!!

[@kyrareneeLOA]

My mother is in this and we can't figure out how to talk her into going to therapy. She gaslights my father... trying to make it seem like her is loosing his mind, as she steals his things. It feels hopeless. But I will not come around anymore unless she is treated.

[@alrightsky]

My sister who passed a couple of weeks ago, due to impulsive behavior, suffered from BPD. I don't know, but having listened to this video I definitely believe this was something triggered by growing up in a dysfunctional family, and I wouldn't be surprised if this is something my mother suffers from too. I really wish people would take care of themselves and people around them more. .__.

[@JDforeveralone]

My sincere condolences! I am not sure what has been wrong with me over all the years but I got to know that I was emotionally unavailable to my kids. My daughter got diagnosed with traits of ADHD and BPD. She also suffered psychotic symptoms. I am trying to come to terms with her passing and the realisation that a dysfunctional home did affect her badly. I never wanted to hurt any of my kids. (Gabor Mate has got some good videos on trauma/generational trauma, also Dr Daniel Fox specialising in BPD) Wishing u that you find solace!

[@marianneodell7637]

I’m hearing you say “disregulated emotions” “lack of impulse control” “fear of abandonment” but what exactly does that translate into as behavior? I have a very long and complicated emotional history which I’d rather not get into here,but the therapist I was seeing concluded-after a weekend seminar on BPD-that I had it. I attended a year of group DBT,couples counseling (that’s a whole other story in itself 🙄) as well as one-on-one with my therapist. I now and unsure if I have it. During the DBT I had a discussion with one of the leaders of the group. She asked me some questions about symptoms-none of which I had. She said “Then you must be in a toxic relationship” It was a lightbulb moment. My ex was emotionally and psychologically abusive with narcissistic traits (just like my father) That man (he was a police officer. I mention that because many seem become full of themselves or that start out that way and the job makes them fuller) could charm the rattles off a snake. I knew he was cheating-the signs were obvious-yet he not only denied it but convinced the therapist that *I* was delusional. SHE told ME I had to “gatekeep” my thoughts-I was letting my imagination run away with me. When I found out he had a secret apartment he came up with some cockamamie reason why he had it and SHE believed him! I eventually was able to find an email between him and the secretary at work that clearly spelled out what was happening. After that she refused to see him for lying to her,but I was devastated that she didn’t believe ME. She did me more harm than good. I just seeing another therapist-but starting over is so hard-I had put all that pain away in a box and tucked it in a deep,dark recess of the farthest corner of my mind,thinking I’d never have to drag it out again. But I have to. But I believe I’m in a much more stable place now that I no longer have that man in my life. I had always said he picked up where my parents left off. The person I’m angriest at is myself-for allowing the people that were supposed to care about me treat me like 💩. I never believed I didn’t deserve to be treated like 💩.

[@daniellelazenby3397]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I have bpd and seem to be developing a suicide centered type of ocd because I don’t have access to help and My impulsiveness makes me afraid I will make a rash decision when emotionally overwhelmed. My heart goes out to you @rina, sending you healing thoughts.

[@alrightsky]

@@daniellelazenby3397 thank you. Please reach out to someone, call a hotline or something if you ever feel overwhelmed or try to distract yourself if you start noticing something is off. There are people out there who can help you ❤️

[@colbysl1]

It's sad that no one took care of your sister when she wwas a child.

[@markusmeyer6391]

My father was verbally abusive. He locked me away because he read in my diary that I had feeling for a guy and threatened to kill me. He belittled me and treated me like I was trash. I favored my siblings over me. He catered to their needs and never asked me what I needed. He was simply a terrible father. He was so emotionally abusive that you would say hi to him and he would curse you for saying hi. My mom and I would be talking and he would come and just smash the tray on the wall. I would be dressing up and he would come and smash the mirror. An overall weird man who did nothing but verbally abuse. No healthy communication. Death threats and so on. He even tried to kill me a couple of times but was stopped by people.

[@oreas1372]

Sounds like he was projecting something on you. This is not you fault. I am sorry for what you went through!

[@name-ni3jc]

I'm very sorry all this happened to you :( I hope you're in therapy or go in soon

[@ouchpaw3518]

I feel like it's my fault I have BPD because I don't try harder to trust people or be nicer to myself. I hope watching this video can bust my own flimflam.

[@rjc7289]

Maybe I've got BPD, maybe I don't, but I do feel in my gut that something is not right with my mental wiring. Decades of being subjected to all manner of verbal and physical abuse at the hands of my parents, especially my father, certainly has not set me on the right path in life. The thought of somebody getting close to me instantly triggers me with feelings of suffocation and intrusion, as if they're trying to dig up dirt on me or use me for the short-term and then cast me aside. The walls instantly go up and I'm on high-alert until they're off my radar screen. I'm torn between feelings of wanting an intimate relationship and fearing it at the same time. It's a lonely life, and ultimately, no fulfilling way to live. Relationships are non-existent, and friends are acquaintances at best and are few and far between.

[@Simone79126]

I hear you, I feel you.

[@obomasinladen]

this comment hits too hard.

[@ArmandoS-ws5br]

You're not alone my friend. Again you are not alone!!! 🤝🏽😪💔

[@rosalbadelriogarcia9598]

Enough with the diagnosing...I really believe choices make the person and creates the thoughts. I saw this thing a few weeks ago that prompted my response here. I wish you all the best. Heal yourself and emotions. Decide that hope and gratitude is the journey to a whole spirit, mind and body. God bless!❤ Change your nutrition. #metabolichealthinitiative

[@rachelwoolleylamb7017]

Oh Jesus, I’m 53, I’ve been unhappy for nearly all my life and I’m pretty certain that I have BPD. Unfortunately, I am addictive by nature, and I was deeply unhappy from a very.young age. I have always needed something to fill the gaping hole inside me (sweets, new pencil case stuff, small toys etc. as although people scoff at this I was depressed from the age of 4. This is when my alcoholic father remarried my alcoholic stepmother, they met in rehab and neither returned to their respective spouses; at the age of 3 or maybe earlier my mother abandoned me & my brother and we never saw her again (I have no memory of her as child)as a child. From as early as i remember, I think I got my dopamine from things and when older, it was gambling, shopping & even masturbation. Unfortunately, after estranging myself from my parents at 25, I started using drugs heavily and partying with a really bad case of FOMO; I became addicted to serious class A drugs from 28 and still am, about 25 yrs. Having substance abuse issues makes it very difficult to find doctors who see beyond it, when they need to be looking “before it” so any interaction with mental health professionals has been in connection to substance use. I know, that my addiction is a symptom, not a cause and I KNOW I have BPD; sure, I’m not supposed to diagnose myself but I’m not taken seriously. As do many with deeply unhappy lives I also suffer from v.high intelligence and I’m v.articulate; when I do see my Dr it is so rare, that I’m so happy to see a person, that I’m chatty & engaging so he thinks I’m fine, but I just want to feel good about myself by making people laugh. I am a very talented writer but have only just started writing in earnest after the death of my partner of 25 yrs v.recently; I am also very very funny but people mistake this for happy. My life is in crisis (I have withdrawn from the world to an extreme extent for over 10 yrs now, claiming agoraphobia & social anxiety but have come to realise this is not the case. I’ve been damaged so badly by the life I was made to live, starting in childhood with abandonment, emotional abuse & neglect which led to me being seriously sexually assaulted age 5 and later too. Life has been a litany of traumas walked alone, I’ve not accomplished a single thing, I stopped bathing and cleaning my home several years ago (I think I initially did this to give myself an excuse to not go out and face the pain, nor let in. My partner did everything, even though he was 18 yrs older than me and I feel very guilty for how bad things got in the years before he died; my ‘family” (stepsister & mother) found me on FB and I just spent my time crying, defending myself and apologising (grovelling really) for bullying my stepmother. If was the other way around, i feel this has now damaged me irreparably as they also forced me to find my birth mother who abandoned me all over again. I am so alone, no friends in my phone apart from a beautiful man who has been there for me on FB for 3 yrs. I got to the point of absolute despair at 2am in the morning and would’ve cashed in my chips and checked out, after fighting for happiness that is always out of reach for me, I was, and still am just exhausted. I sent him a message that took a huge leap of faith and said I needed help. He told me to call, I wouldn’t, and again he said, call. I made another excuse as I was just so scared of being rejected, then he rang me, thank God, as he saved my life. He is a very unusual man who is so nurturing and has been there for me ever since; I have faith in him but still i am plagued by doubts. He didn’t respond to one message and I spent, line I have my life in floods of tears, beating myself up for obviously having said something wrong (always do, don’t we until we hear otherwise and feel incredibly stupid and embarrassed). I’ve been crying all the time ive been typing from thinking of how lovely he is, he just listens to me and it feels like a hand pulling me out of water I’m drowning in. But, he has a life and I still am essentially alone. My partner has been gone for less than three months nd I’m at a standstill. FB and Reddit are my only outlets and connection to anything but I know I’m not connected. I just sit crying (where do the tears come from, they’re endless) in my filthy squalid flat, unwashed and stinking, taking drugs and I don’t see things ending well. I’m just so fucking tired of trying, I know I’m a lovely person, kind hearted and funny, but I don’t know how to connect with the rest of the world, I’m scared that I’m just gonna be a statistic v.soon and I don’t know how to break this pattern. I’m 53, I have nothing, nobody and nothing accomplished Thank you for listening, I know I said a lot but I’m forever explaining myself. I don’t know what more to say, so I’ll just stop. If anyone can help me, my email is [e-mail] bu5 i don’t see that much can be done after so long. Bye 😭😭😭

[@machinegurlll]

My dad passed when I was 5 and I've struggled ever since. It was unexpected. Now whenever I am "left", im that little 5 year old girl again, who was just told her daddy died. I'm 23 now. I feel like borderline is just complex abandonment trauma.. at least for me

[@sweet2sourr]

Sorry for your loss. I am curious, if you feel like sharing, did anyone attempt to help you process that loss when you were 5?

[@TheMarkedGirl717]

Wow, I lost my dad at 6. He had been away a lot due to treatments and I probably "knew" but I don't think I fully understood so it was still such a shock. Don't remember much from that time. I know how painful that is.

[@oreas1372]

For me too, it is mainly about abandonment trauma.

[@lonihanson9124]

100000%

[@piyushalaad]

oh god i relate to you so much

[@shenandoah1322]

Lots of instability in my childhood. Changed schools way too often from grade one to grade seven, including one year of being homeschooled. Mom had unstable moods - sometimes yelling and screaming, then remorseful and crying to my dad, apologizing, and wanting to hug me. Dad was emotionally unavailable. I eventually found ways to avoid my mom anytime I felt she wanted to hug me. I just couldn't cope with the rage-remorse-love cycle. Also abused by a babysitter, and parents allowed her to babysit again after we told them what she did. Was terrified of my grade one teacher, who eventually got fired because she was abusing children.

[@APP-hm6bf]

Word for word; my childhood

[@dangerousmines6902]

I'm so sorry you went through that.

[@fightswithspirits915]

Geesh. That's rough. When I was 16, my mom would kiss me on the lips then slap the shit out of me. She did that like 5 times over as many weeks. There's zero explanation for that but what was really odd, I didn't even think much of it.

[@colincalmstorm]

Genetics are also influenced by traumas, where genes are changed by traumatising events and passed to offspring. The traumas of childhood abuses, amplified by a society that never intervenes, become overwhelming. The torture of being betrayed as a child rather than nurtured is developmental trauma, which is complex trauma. Nobody is born destined to have BPD, NPD, BP etc, all expressions of complex trauma. Until parents are held accountable, until children are defended and protected, there will be damaged people calling the shots in society. I've been around a lot of predators, including my parents, neighbours, teachers, daycare workers, police, social workers including counsellors... all of them were abused to make them that way and suffer their own versions of developmental traumas. Predators deliberately create more of themselves by having and abusing kids, reenacting what was done to them, thus perpetuating the cycle. Those kids often turn into predators, but sometimes are fortunate to escape the worst outcomes, dealing with other mental health challenges that don't have them wanting and willing to harm others. And there are degrees, but once a person is entrenched and addicted to corruption, they have little incentive to stop themselves and find a society heavily populated by people who encourage them to abuse. There are few safeguards and every part of society has power dynamics, which attract predators who use power to enact their corruption. Since mental health professionals aren't held accountable, predators are able to saturate the mental health field and do practically whatever they want. I was fortunate to have defence mechanisms against my abusive social workers and counsellors, so I didn't go with them to their homes for sex or join them in abusing kids. But reporting them does nothing. Many of the people we report to are also predators. In a world that doesn't intervene or hold people accountable, where the most damaged people are allowed to do practically whatever they want, and where the good people are relying on denial to survive, it can be next to impossible for less damaged people to escape or understand. It took me eight years of abuse by social workers to realise what they were doing to me, grooming, gaslighting, manipulating, trying to break me and keep me confused. Many people never get away. So it's good to see mental health professionals begin to acknowledge the traumatic origins and influences of mental health struggles. Society is going to have to find a way to hold people accountable, but also try and engineer solutions to the harm done to the people who do the most harm.

[@JDforeveralone]

Like Bruce Lipton said - genes by themselves don't switch on/off. Indeed there needs to be accountability! Hope that you will get better!

[@tanchella]

You are describing epigenetics

[@sophiafarah8246]

That’s so sickening and I just hope you can find away to get better and live happily. It’s not okay for an innocent person to be subjected under so much evil. I just pray you find peace.

[@222amybain]

Thank you for the information. My oldest daughter has BPD and we feel we provided a nurturing and supportive environment in our home. We have another daughter who grew up in the same household and didn’t develop BPD. My father in law has undiagnosed BPD and my father has NPD (or at least traits). I think because my husband and I were raised by emotionally distant parents- we were ill-equipped to help our daughter learn to regulate her strong emotions and they made us feel triggered & scared, as our own fathers did. It is so sad and ironic that we tried to create a loving home that was the complete opposite of what we grew up with and our daughter still developed BPD. Not saying we did everything right (we are human and tried our best) but it’s hard to know we contributed to our daughter’s pain and emotional struggles with absolutely no intention to cause harm. 😢Would love to hear your thoughts, Kati! Thank you for all that you do for the world of mental health❤

[@kristoohy8868]

In my extended family, about half the men got diagnosed with autism as children and almost every woman got a BPD diagnosis as a teenager. Now we're in our 30 and 40's and only now have psychiatrists realized the women are also autistic. That's 100% genetic. Autism and ADHD can cause major emotional regulation problems, even when surrounded by the best people.

[@Ramanhere468]

Yes, Genetic and Environmental. Or even both.

[@sweet2sourr]

Have you talked to your daughter about what she thinks contributed to her having BPD?

[@222amybain]

@@sweet2sourr she says a lot of it had to do with being bullied in middle school. She also felt like she was very different than her sister and us- although we tried to to make her feel accepted and I know we didn’t always get things right. We have learned a lot and understand about bpd and validating her feelings and trying to have boundaries. A lot of her issues related to wanting a relationship and to not feel abandoned.

[@ashatan4554]

@@222amybainI am in the same situation as you. I know how much I loved my daughters, and put them first and foremost. They were nurtured and well cared for. Like you, one has BPD and one does not. Obviously we were not perfect parents but not like these videos imply.

[@kristyjean6219]

I learned more about BPD from watching this than I’ve learned from my therapist in years. She just doesn’t explain it out, but does help me learn to manage. I do live in fight or flight almost 24/7. I May get a few hours a day where I can be in a calm state. Even asleep my brain doesn’t turn off.

[@NeverGoodbye09]

I live with BPD and Bipolar 2. It was a very late diagnosis in life. However I truly believe that my childhood and adolescence played a huge part in my mental health. It is possible to have a healthy, positive life with BPD. I've been in a treatment program of one on one therapy and DBT for the last 10+ years and I'm currently living the healthiest life I have ever had the pleasure of living. My therapist recently agreed to stop our one on one sessions (I'm going to continue DBT) because my BPD is dormant right now!! 🎉🎉🎉 So for anyone living with BPD don't give up!!

[@Lockystephenson]

I love how you explain how complex the causes of mental illness are (not just in BPD). Thank you so much for educating so many of us and helping to reduce stigma and misinformation about mental conditions ❤

[@grandmastermario3695]

I often have difficulty trusting anyone I often feel like a hopeless failure and often feel as though I deserve to get abused trauma has just had such of an effect on me.

[@feliciaperezauthor]

This was me at 5 years old, in Kindergarten. My molestation started shortly before. I was molested by my stepfather FRANK from age 5-12, I’m strong enough now and want to share my story to continue bringing awareness. My goal to raise awareness is ramping up. Please help me. Join me in making my story heard. Let’s all make out voices heard!

[@MustyBastard]

It happened to me too for those same years but I was a boy . I still have flash backs and spent my entire life - a side from one gf when I was 20, alone. So most of my sexual experiences were with my molester. I was unable to have normal ones to block them out . I am just worried that I am using those events as an excuse for other issues and failures in my life. My parents always told me to get over it and quit living in the past. Sorry if I am sharing too much, I just saw your comment thought I would respond based on the context of the video.

[@bradbartels6778]

having trouble getting out of the past this morning...Kati tells me exactly what i needed to hear...you are a TREASURE Kati...you've done so much for me...🙏🙏🙏

[@Katimorton]

Aww I am so glad I could be there when you need Brad :) xoxo

[@Auggies1956]

I'll admit to it. It was an unstable home, with a mother who couldn't be bothered and a live in who had us kids walking on eggs around him.

[@----79821]

very good video.. BPD is such a struggle the misery is intense

[@ShojiPanda]

Feels pretty hopeless when treatment is far out of most peoples income. I certainly can’t afford hundreds of dollars in treatment each month. There is a new treatment facility in my city that is offering community funded therapy. They have a store front where they sell donated crafts and the baked goods made from the baking therapy sessions. The money earned pays for peoples treatment. But of course the interest has led to a massive waitlist. I sometimes wonder if quality mental health care will ever be accessible and affordable in my life time.

[@theologytherapist]

I love how detailed your answer to this question is! Thank you for outline the risk factors, and consciously not assigning blame, which is such a tempting thing to do in anyone's healing journey, no matter what they're going through.

[@louisfaasen4511]

Just a heartfelt thanks for helping so many of us. It is through your Ytube videos that I unravelled allot about myself. Never underestimate how important your work on KZbin is, for many of us

[@tinnytiny1742]

I really like your videos, it helps a lot. I'm not really diagnosed yet but one thing you said at the end stuck with me. My therapist often links my behavior and difficulties with childhood trauma, although it's nice to understand I feel like there's no need, I only feel powerless when knowing smt that happened so long ago impacts my day to day life.. I want to move forward and learn how to navigate it instead of blaming it all in the past.

[@crystinaseavert5792]

Your videos are succinct yet thorough and the result is incredibly kind, educational, and understanding content. I wish all people who made content on this disorder had your approach.

[@angrywabbit]

Outstanding video. Clear, concise and accurate. Thank you.

[@cjaykus]

Excellent Kati!! I miss you...going to try to get back on Patreon in March... ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@doctorartphd6463]

This helps explain a lot. Thank you so much.... this will set me free !! Blessings, Kati.

[@pwms11]

Can you say more about the fear of abandonment and trust? My therapist told me it takes between 1 to 2 years to trust someone as much as I can. I still don't believe they care and such, but I know I can, mostly, trust them. However, it is very easy for me to lose or lower my trust in someone after that. I've been seeing my therapist for 3 years and I can say I trust her. However im still waiting for proof I shouldnt. I've been seeing my nutritionist for 2 years. I trust what she says is true, but that's it. Why is it so hard to trust someone I pay to pretend to care? They have the knowledge and degree needed. But I don't trust the person. Anyway, BPD is hard.

[@ResortDog]

The BPD penalty in life IS greater than the ADHD disadvantages.

[@insecticaa]

It’s even worse when you have both or both+others 😭😭😭😭

[@stephanielittledog7050]

That was such a awesome explanation !! ❤

[@EmotionalAbuseSurvivors]

Great video, keep up the good work.

[@rodanvsandrew]

Your new mic is fantastic!

[@jacksparrowismydaddy]

okay people tell us we have to get over our trauma.... whether we have bpd or not it feels invalidating, like we're being a bother, and like we're wrong for being upset. how do we get over our traumas? it's been 30 years and the bullying I went through as a kid still hurts me. my parents inconsistent hot or cold style of parenting and their constant fighting still haunts me.

[@nnc248]

I use emdr therapy and find the underlying negative cognition. The associated emotion is more often than not, shame.

[@damo9961]

Being hereditary and having a strong chance of being in first degree relatives doesn't neccessarily point to genes. Like my Poppa had 10 kids, and he was abusive and personality disordered. Almost all of my aunts and uncles on that side have some sort of personality disorder, they all hate each other and it's constant drama and nonsense. Then many of the grandkids struggled with addiction and a multitude of different mental problems and depression. I can trace it all back to how Poppa treated his children, it is almost purely 100% nurture as far as I'm concerned. Parenting gets passed down for generations.

[@halfofakitty]

Ditto. Parents were abused, their parents, and likely their parents before them (I know one was). My aunts and uncles don't explicitly have problems unless you know how to read ppl. A compensative fixation on laughter like a class clown on one side, the other alcohol and pet fixation.

[@JDforeveralone]

Generational passed down trauma - look up Gabor Mate

[@BigLRestInPeace]

Good timing on this video.

[@robinvogt1472]

it took years to find someone who help me with my bpd i was a very difficult patient at first but she hung in there so happy to have found here im so much better today took me 20 years maybe more to get help spend half my life with my bpd issues yes it always hard to keep in check i have my days it can creep up especially if stressed but i know call my self out thank you for this video also i did grow up with abused lost my mom when i was 5 didnt have a mom figure dad married a alcoholic who abuse me verbally so yes my early years as a child was very abusive sexually and emotinally know stability no love around me but i survived im a better person today with alot of help

[@trizachai]

That helped understand a lot, I think, learning about these things is really interesting to me and I was always wondering about the syndrome thing, what it might mean for the different mental diagnoses! thank you for sharing!

[@Luke-Emmanuel]

really great video kati, thank u

[@WalkingWithGramaStories]

Thank you! Your explanations are so clear & succinct - easy to understand & no information overload 😊 I will be watching more - as the mother of a woman with BPD, I wish I had knownall of this when she first started having trouble. I do feel guilty for not doing the things that I might have been able to do to help & for the things that might have contributed. I do not agree with her that 'it's all my fault' - and we did become regulars at the Children’s Mental Health Centre when we realized she needed more than we were doing. Unfortunately, my marital breakdown had to happen for safety reasons & we did not co-parent well (he still vaccilates between enabling/very permissive and neglectful/abusive). Athough he did attend much of the family counselling sessions, he would often pop over afterwards & say the exact opposite of what he said or agreed to in counselling. So - I became an easy scapecoat/bad guy with my son from another marriage, boundaries, routines & even my physical weakness when chronic cancer struck me in her childhood. It has been a roller-coaster for all of us, and I'm sure more so for her. Now, her son needs to learn how to deal with her, as he will be transitioning to spending more time with her - she is being very successful in addiction recovery, seems to have her parasomnias under control (she came to the surface 8-11 times an hour through every type of sleep). He is a very placid, intelligent child who lost his father to addictions in 2021, and has watched his mother battle addictions his whole life. He wants/craves more attention from his mother & I know often feels some lack of focus even when she's with him. I have had him participate with Children’s/family counselling, but at 13, he's not so inclined to chat with a new stranger & he does seem really stable for a child whose life has been so traumatic. I did have him listen to 1 of your videos (6 steps to dealing with a BPD parent, I believe it's called), and we discussed safety for him - letting another adult know if things are 'off', and coming home to my house for breaks, etc

[@dangerousmines6902]

Thank you so much for your informative and concise videos that I often use in psychoeduction with my patient and clients. They are easy to listen to and appreciate graphics, visually interesting. I'm an LPC and Behavioral Health Consultant, Thank you, Kati....Vincent

[@angelatracey8353]

That was awesome Kati. Thank you for the great presentation. Also, for using the terms "us" and " we" instead of "they" or even "you". The language you've chosen allows me to feel accepted and a part of this world, rather than on the outside looking in. 🧡

[@PollyHistor]

That is HUGE, to be included, and not continually excluded. 🖤

[@colbysl1]

I don't know if I like that beecause she actually has no idea whaat it feelss like

[@randyguess3124]

Thanks for your videos.

[@ivanatl96]

Thanks for sharing this!! 👏

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! So happy to help :) xoxo

[@lisdosanjos]

I really think part of my childhood (that I won't expose, sorry) caused my BPD. And depression, ansiety and OCD.

[@SeelenTaucher]

Inner critic (Hulk): overthinking. Ptsd ExIn mbti: Enfp. Which MBTI Type do U have?

[@myahope17]

I have it. I experienced severe abuse,sexual and emotional. I know my mother had it as well my oldest sister has it too. I’ve been in therapy for 5 years in total. I’ve been managing but still have episodes of huge emotions. Medicated and coping mechanisms help tremendously. There is hope.

[@jeremymcneill5239]

Hey Kati, I hope you are well. I'm not sure if you did a video on this but, I was going to see if you can explain how a person has 256 ways of BPD. You do very well explaining all kinds of things BPD and everything else mental health. I love the videos you post every week. I learn a lot from you. I along with everyone else appreciates you.

[@katiepayne2479]

What

[@ArmandoS-ws5br]

What you said at the end I really hope is true!🙏🏽 Because people that don't deal with it can say it but people with BPD have to actually live with it 💔 And I'm not hearing too many success stories unfortunately 😢

[@j0.ZEF-Who]

been trying to stay grounded in the present- trying to make a clear headspace and working on the binge restrict cycle or selfcare part which I've NEGLECTED in my day 2 day life. recently heard to be careful of what you pretend to be - mindfulness of my actions and words and the impact it has on others is important to track as well -- OH this is big for me - i catch myself answering questions for other people in my own head as if in a conversation with them already [thats BAD] and find myself these days trying to avoid that lots since its usually a negative answer i get back LOL! ah man!- PROBABLY should seek some form of comfort then in those instances.

[@aprilarlidge2807]

I was diagnosed with PTSD and BPD at 16, after years of sexual abuse and neglect. I am 43 now.

[@user-uq8tt1oj5h]

I hope you're doing well now.

[@SeelenTaucher]

Wow. Healing Soul. What helped U Most? CBT helped me so much, but before that, I came to many different psychologists, but Not many have the hint: Try with cognitive behavior therapy, or asked "what Attachment Style do U have" Everything was Fine, If there was shallow Connections, but If IT got deeper, than IT got more complicated. But all this Awareness helped lots, plus Training and understanding Environments 💖✨ Best wishes Dear Souls. 🕊️🌎🌟

[@Equals11]

I'm not sure if I'm CPTSD or quiet BPD, especially when some specialists say difference is really subtle. I did regress after 2 years i therapy which is typical for BPD and now reparenting myself even more actively. I'm shocked so many people here saying therapists drop them. I'm Russian and I follow many Russian therapists on KZbin and some of them LOVE bordelines and literally specialize in working with them

[@lovelessbachelor]

I grew up and am still growing up in a wildly unstable household, parents had a messy divorce when I was younger and before that that argued a lot, my mother was hardly around during the day and often came home drunk. I don't have very many good memories with her from when I was younger, both my parents used to hit me too. Not great. Even after the split it was still unstable because my mother had 2 more kids with her then partner and I was often left to take care of them as I was the eldest and spent the most time home. My mother completely lost custody of me and all my siblings years ago because her alcoholism led to insane neglect. I still see her sort of consistently but her mood and condition always fluctuates and I'm pretty sure she has something too. She's told us all about her anorexia and bulimia from when she was growing up and told many stories about her sneakily getting rid of food her mother brought her after she was hospitalized as a teen so it looked like she had eaten like it was some kind of joke. She's overall very manipulative and acts like the victim no matter the situation, I believe my own binge-eating and ADHD might have come from her. I see her as a very broken woman running from help. I actually don't know why I wrote all of this,I guess I just needed to talk about it. I may not live with my mother now but my father and his partner are both very argumentative and often unreasonable and I often feel tense and unsafe with them in the room. Multiple glasses have been smashed over the years when they argue,and I never know who's to blame because they argue in a different language. I never know which parent I should rely on or trust if I should at all. I wanna get out of here,but its scary, I have no means, I already have autism and I might be disabled. I feel like I'm in purgatory.

[@WisconsinWanderer]

Thank you Katie you help me see what’s going on inside me😊

[@jalenanderson6894]

I'm glad you made this video. Someone said BPD comes from trauma. I told them mine came from genetics and that I never experienced childhood trauma. They got mad and said I was lying or that I didn't have bpd because it doesn't come from genetics. I don't believe its in our DNA, but I do believe if my mother has it then I do. I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago in the hospital. I was in grad school and went through several major breakdowns before the pandemic and it got worst afterwards. But, sorry that was my experience. Looking back at it, I was unattached from my mother at birth for a few months and then my mom had emotional instability. I had lots of bullying in school and at home I was fine. So, I guess it's a mixture of different things. I by no means can compare my experience to someone who was SA, physically abused, or anything like that, but that doesn't mean that I don't still suffer from BPD and its symptoms.

[@sweet2sourr]

What people don’t consider is having an emotionally unavailable parent is child neglect. Neglect is child abuse which can become complex ptsd

[@nataliaturner4845]

Not sure what the circumstances were in those months you say you were "unattached" from mom after birth, but that seems like a big red flag to me, if you didn't get enough contact & engagement from your caregivers in early infancy. I remember one of the saddest documentaries I ever watched was way back in the 90s, and it was about kids who had been adopted from Romanian orphanages. Basically the orphanages were overwhelmed at the time and there was not enough staff to care for the kids. The neglect during that critical time of early infancy/childhood had devastating effects on their emotional development. The guy I married ticks a ton of boxes for narcissistic pd, which has some crossover with bpd, and I think his def also stem from neglect in infancy. Obviously not as severe as the orphenage cases, but I think it's why he has a hard time understanding why he treats other people bad - bc the social hardwiring in his brain was messed with before his identity actually came online (I think he told me his first memory was around 2 years old, so the neglect/abuse was beyond the reach of his self-understanding & self-reasoning, if that makes sense).

[@nataliaturner4845]

Oh, I forgot the main example of my sister!🤦‍♀️ I think she has bpd and along with some really obvious trauma in early childhood, I think she also may have witnessed domestic violence as a baby, and it might have traumatized her even before all the other abuse, and set her up to develop bpd after that later abuse (she is 3 yrs ahead of me and I've asked our older siblings if they remember us having witnessed any of that violence as babies, but they don't remember. They had to cope with it as best they could, being only kids themselves, so I don't blame them for not noticing us at the time, but it does irritate me that as adults, they write it off all of our issues as "uncaused causes" (we're "just" lazy, "just" selfish, "just wanting attention". We're not allowed to make sense of our past and get treatment, we just need to be ashamed for being natural-born losers who choose to be weak bc its so fun to be a burden - soooo tired of it with my older siblings 😔😒. I feel even worse for my sister than me, however, bc she has been scapegoated for a long time and I never realized it was abuse & that I was participating in it. We've been estranged for over a decade now, but I hope we can mend things someday 😓)

[@insecticaa]

@@sweet2sourr I know this is a stupid question but what exactly does emotionally unavailable mean?

[@CarnaghSidhe]

@@insecticaa it's not a stupid question at all, being instead a rather sensible one... autistic, narcissistic, sociopathic... either of those will do.

[@neelymurphy6797]

I was 1. Born with a small hyperactive amygdala and sensitive nervous system, so EVERYTHING gave me high level anxiety as a young child. I was afraid around 80% of the time, couldn't speak to any males or strangers. 2. Raised being overly coddled and spoiled up until age 5. Given everything I wanted and allowed to throw temper tantrums and emotional meltdowns without any discipline or teaching. And 3.subjected to an aloof, stoic male as a stepfather at age 5 after never being around any males, which terrified me. There was no easing into it or helping either me or him learn to relate to eachother by my mother. After my coddling spoiling grandmother had a stroke, I was living in a 100% opposite environment isolating myself in fear of his cold hateful temperament that kept me afraid and miserable until spontaneously cutting and other bpd behaviors at 12.

[@MissOceanBlue]

I Feel Like if I Knew Encina in Person, She'd be My Best Friend... I Can Totally Empathize Although I Don't Have DID I have BPD and I Know How it Feels to be Insecure That People May Stigmatize or Judge You Based on Your Diagnosis .. And Since Many People Worth BPD are Very Emotionally Sensitive and Tend To be Empaths,For Some Reason I Felt Her Anxiety and Nervousness Yet When Minnie Came Out on Camera I Felt a Sense of Excitement and Joy... I Know That Probably Sounds Really Weird but I Wish I Could Actually Meet Encina in Person and I Just Happen to be in Arizona. Well I Hope She Continues on This Happy Successful Path in Life. I Hope She Finds a Therapist Here in Arizona That Has Specialized in DID and Empathizes and Can Guide Her and Help Her With Continuing to Embrace Her Diagnosis. And I Hope Encina, Minnie, Devin and The Rest of The Continue to Keep Each other Safe❤🥰❤️

[@ababy6074]

Hi Kati! I love your videos! I don't think I've ever seen one this quickly after you've uploaded. I'm all the way over in Australia and I'd love to have you visit here. Do you have any plans to visit Queensland, Australia any time? Would love to hear back. Ange xx

[@Katimorton]

Hey Ange :) I would love to come back to Australia!! Sean and I visited Melbourne back in 2019 and loved it!!! No plans as of yet, but I will definitely let you know if I am headed your way. xoxo

[@ababy6074]

@@Katimorton That would be great Kati! :) :)

[@kyliejones8827]

This was interesting. Thank you 👍. I think I'm a quiet borderline, awaiting an assessment - it could be a long wait! I'm also grieving the loss of my son. He died almost 3 years ago in an accident. I don't have the desire or resilience for therapy. I'm fairly high functioning and am able to get my essential needs met - nutrition, exercise, work, social interaction etc. My father's parenting in particular contributed to my mental health. I was very fearful of him. A diagnosis has suddenly become really important to me, even though I'm nearing 60! It's probably just a distracting project! 😁

[@TalalAl-Zalami]

Thank you Kati I struggle with BPD it diffrent from the rest of personaliy disorders in term of symtoms and triggers usally it happens as an impact of other psycholgical issues presented and psychogical instability.

[@aam6545]

a bpd dx should come with a modified Miranda warning: "you have the right to remain silent. anything you say or do can and WILL be used against you in a court of public opinion." i was given the dx by a doc before he ever met me after he went through all my notes for the previous 8-9 years. he spent our one appt together using everything i said to confirm his dx. "see! that's what i'm saying!" and "people like you".... there was nothing i could say or do to defend or advocate for myself, as anything i said or did could be used as evidence against me and for the dx, not to help and support but to shame and condemn. i hated myself before the dx. i ended that appt feeling like i need to protect the world from me. i tried so hard to be better, but i just couldn't ever stop being a garbage human being. "asleep" by the smiths has become my theme song.

[@GarzaVMarie]

Hi, Kati Morton I'm Vanessa. I've been watching your videos on mental health absolutely love the way you break things down so that we may gain better understanding of whatever it is that we may not understand or just gain the info of our choosing. Now the topic on this video I totally get what you are saying about the causes and the risk factors but honestly I believe it's just much simpler than that I believe it's just a unfortunate cycle with no end. My belief is myself (BPD) being raised by a Narcissist (my mother) I then produced Children that are now Narcissist and so fourth . Now I won't know till my grandchild is grown up but knowing his parents I'm more than sure the cycle will continue. What are your thoughts?

[@Bunnygirl6346]

I know I had it but no therapist would ever test me for that or any mental illness. After struggling for so long I decided to go about it on my own. I quit drinking and started exercising. I also wasted many years dating narcissists that made me live in self doubt and was constantly on edge. Now out of them I feel so much better. There is hope, ditch the booze, losers, and exercise! Also weed helps me but everyone is different. If you do need help see a PSYCHIATRIST not a therapist they are useless in my experience.

[@solitahearts]

The person who made this video is a therapist ☺️ the problem I’ve found is that depending on where you live, most therapists are legally not allowed to diagnose patients, but once you can get your diagnosis from a psychologist/psychiatrist, therapists can be amazing for long term therapy! It can be hard to find one that works for you, had and tried many that I didn’t connect with at all and it was discouraging 😅 but there are great ones that will make such a difference 😊 I am so glad that sobriety and exercice has worked for you! I’m hitting the 2 year mark of sobriety and it has definitely changed my life❤ I’ve found that stability, even when it feels a bit boring, is my « cure » to not getting out of control and helps me keep BPD under control like it’s almost not there anymore 😊

[@megaluckydog1212]

Would be interested in our thoughts on the differences between CPTSD and BPD.

[@sweet2sourr]

Your cam looks great btw

[@Caaronisversatile]

very interesting video

[@lumpyspaceprincesswo]

The most relateable thing I heard you mention is when you don't grow up in a stable environment, you might lack trust with yourself and the others around you.

[@aurale9180]

Dr Jessica Taylor - her work's amazing.

[@michelleflint4467]

Thank you Katie

[@Katimorton]

You are so welcome Michelle :) xoxo

[@Sameoldfitup]

My stepmother abandoned me on the street when I was six, they put me in children's homes for 12 years years. They diagnosed me with major personality disorder when I was 17

[@fromviennatoyou]

hello, can you please talk more about what flight, fight, play dead says about you? i suffered from physical abuse and chose play dead and recognize this thought stage happening to me years later in (seemingly) unrelated situations.

[@malfurionillidan3420]

In Canada, there seems to be a boom of bpd diagnosis and ‘study’s’ have blocked access to care - follow the funding. There are about 9 diagnosis categories, where you only need 4 or 5. Is the diagnosis too lax? Don’t know if anyone will answer, but just wanted to say thank you for your videos. It is helping me get in a better mindset for my appointment tomorrow.

[@stefaniamirri1112]

Answer is YES, IF YOU ARE THE SCAPEGOAT in your Narcissistic environment the other opposite end of the path is BPD, but things twists, so do not rely exclusively on this..simplification.

[@geraldmiller5343]

I can't find a source anywhere for any good psychedelics in my area, I suffer some pretty bad depression and i got a chance to try K and man it was a miracle substance, I felt free,the only high or euphoria was from the relief of my vices being released, that's exactly what it did

[@mkrei4481]

I have never ever felt so understood in my life after recently being diagnosed OH MY GOD … it’s NOT ALL MY FAULT!!!

[@bobbysays]

Thanks for this video. I am in my 50's and just recently discovered I have BPD. Unfortunately I have no money, no health insurance and can not hold a job very long at all. I have had over 200 jobs in my life and yet here I am not working. At this point I don't know if seeking help would be beneficial to me since racking up more bills would just cause more stress and anxiety. I thought about disability, but again the same thing. Soon I would guess, I will be another statistic living on the streets because I can not afford help.

[@marcia6190]

Is there an association between ADHD & BPD? I am in my 60s been in and out treatment forever since 16. Very disturbing past with abuse as a child and marriage. Ive done every therapy there is. Too many losses to count. I still feel abandoned! I am battling an autoimmunedisease and have no friends.Where do u go when u feel noone cares😕

[@ylana4444]

It’s great knowing that BPD can be treated/managed with therapy…Lots of therapy!..8-16 years per AJ Mahari life coach and counselor for loved ones of people with BPD. The problem is..most with BPD do not engage in their own therapy let alone even want therapy in the first place. I admire the ones who do and take an active part in their own therapy. These are very special people. My BPD ex broke my heart and I am now healing with the help of a great therapist. This trauma response (BPD) is not to be taken lightly. It’s a monster however it can be overcome. It takes a lot of work and commitment though and most BPD’s are not willing to put in that effort unfortunately…my ex included. When I read comments by pwBPD who are in therapy and really engaging, it warms my heart. I’m rooting for them all the way…because this is a long and difficult journey!

[@colbysl1]

perhaps you should go and read the first comment on this video before making statements like this. "most," is also a very extreme word, are you a PHD in BPD? LOL!!

[@ylana4444]

@@colbysl1 I’m not a PHD IN BPD but AJ Mahari is and I quote her. She uses the word “most” in this context. She had BPD and is now healed and recovered. I consider her an expert in her field.. :)

[@colbysl1]

AJ Mahari? That person never had BPD she actually runs a practice where she counsels people who very specifically claim to have been abused specifically by people with BPD...... you must be thinking of someone else. @@ylana4444

[@colbysl1]

And she is incorrect. Are you one of those anti-vaxxers who listens to random people on FOX news and takes that as a definitive truth. Pathetic and ddisgusting @@ylana4444

[@keelyschemmer]

As someone with BPD, I tend to cope maladaptively. For example, drugs. I am an addict. But am I an addict because of BPD? Is that a thing? Thanks a bunch! All the best, Keely

[@user-ly6bb4zd7t]

My childhood was so bad I ran away from home at the age of 10. Had to return. Then again at 13. Again..I was returned. Then at 16, I was gone for ever. I go visit...

[@brittanywilcox7377]

Kati!!!! THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!! This was such an eloquently stated and timely message. I think of many mental health disorders in that same frame as being predisposed to a physical illness, just like you stated. I knew a woman who developed type 1 diabetes in adulthood due to her immune system having a reaction to several immunizations she had gotten before traveling abroad. She explained to me that had she never gotten the vaccines ("traumatic event"), she may have never developed diabetes despite the genetic predisposition to it. She took great care of herself and followed treatment accordingly and lived a full life despite developing the disorder. I have DID, and I was born a highly creative, intelligent person who was subjected to unrelenting childhood trauma through my adulthood. I truly believe that my brains ability to escape into fantasy is what saved me. Today, I find that as I do the work to heal from the trauma and connect more with my compartmentalized pieces, I am able to reach others with my story and share hope with a multitude of others who may be suffering. Thank you again for all you do. The world is a better place simply because you exist in it. ❤️

[@Katimorton]

Aww thanks Brittany :) I am so glad you liked the video and I am proud of you for working so hard to heal your own trauma and help others who are suffering too. xoxo

[@michelleflint4467]

Yes, but a lot of mental health workers don't want us. It's so sad. I have a blood disorder and my body is in my records. Now my medical Drs treat me like I'm crazy. Going to the hospital is the worst. They ignore me

[@michelleflint4467]

Not body*** BPD

[@marcdraco2189]

Brilliant video but I was diagnosed too late in life to help. Therapist after doctor just missed it...

[@BojanPeric-kq9et]

Fall from 10km (~33 000 feet) is not causing death, it is mere risk factor because there are people who survived such falls. Or to be even more cynical: US death penalty is just risk factor, judging by number of botched executions. Being shot is risk factor too, there are people who survived "lethal" hits. And even if there is genetic "potential", environment is there to make that "potential" grow, rise and shine. Smoking is not cause of lung cancer, again, "just" huge risk factor.

[@becominglala9365]

My neice has this. It has been very challenging caring for her.

[@teen-at-heart]

thanks for the interesting video…however, the editing was a bit “over-the-top”; far more fast cuts and quick word animations than usual…I prefer the more relaxed, calm style of your other videos….helps with concentrating on the content :)

[@Eco_Hiko]

So if the gene behind BPD can be turned on, could this happen at any age? Or is it something that develops in child hood or the person would have to show signs of it before the age where the brain is fully formed? I find the brain so interesting and as some one who's best friend has this condition, I'm so curious to learn more about it. Even if it's just to challenge my perception/any biases and learn how to support them more

[@josephandrews2353]

Haven’t been diagnosed with BPD and I couldn’t afford it anyway. I def have it. I check so many boxes. I’m too tired to deal with another issue and as soon as my daughter is self sufficient I’m out.

[@bluedale6563]

parents fighting all the time with each other and me

[@annamason3087]

I can't find a source anywhere for any good psychedelics in my area, I suffer some pretty bad depression and Bpd and i got a chance to try K and man it was a miracle substance, I felt free,the only high or euphoria was from the relief of my vices being released, that's exactly what it did

[@mst-pierrem5729]

Looking at my husband way of being raised and the violence he saw as a toodler and being dismissed for trying to say the truth and gosh the issues I still see today in that family, I have no doubt whatsoever that this peculiar mental ilness has definite environnemental component. At 7 yrs old my daughter is pretty normal and the in-laws dont get that all 3 of their grandkids are normal. Violence and bad parenting definitely has thing when it comes with BPD.

[@Davey-TheDJ]

This was the first diagnosis I was diagnosed with and I was told that if relative had it like mother father brother sister grandparent that its genetic in my grandmother on my mother's side definitely had this no I wonder I was told that the abuse that I went through with my mother calls myptsd but I don't have it so bad the biggest thing is I remember is the stinging on my rear end from being beat 20 times from a belt

[@mariakonexus8939]

My mother have emotionally abused me. I try to forgive her and to understand her but still with 55 its still hurts. I have learnt to living alone and be happy. I working as freelance so I not need to discuss with nobody. I trying to control my emotions like fears. 😮

[@andihope5075]

you help me more than my doctors lol time to find new ones again

[@Katimorton]

Ugh I am so sorry you've had a hard time finding good professional help.. but I know there are good ones out there, so keep looking!!! xoxo

[@fightswithspirits915]

The flame is lit when young then turns into a forest fire over time without proper key relationships.

[@meilei8716]

Today was the day I was speaking with my best friend and understood that the early childhood sexual abuse I was blamed for by my step brother at 5 years was actually sexual abuse. My father is actually a narcissist who directed his anger toward me after that incident. Being to blame made me completely disregard this as a traumatizing event! Some might be sad about that but I felt like I was able to finally solve the mystery of why I struggled with this for so many years.

[@wolfdreams2000]

Thanks, Kati! I'm curious why it seems that adults are sometimes diagnosed with BPD but actually are autistic? Apparently there are a lot of common traits between the two, but is there no way to be sure?

[@deborahanne675]

My dx’d autistic friend killed herself because psychiatry were determined to label her BPD. She was Not BPD and the MH team were found negligent. BPD is a dx used to exclude those with history of Trauma from any professional care/support. (UK) I don’t understand why Trauma is not just simply diagnosed as Trauma!? Why does every MH struggle get labelled as a Disorder anyway when in fact it’s a human response to awful experiences? BPD/EUPD is often used against some of the most vulnerable by MH practitioners usually ending in re-traumatising the client and this is widespread and needs to stop! Let’s cut the crap. Now!!!! I know this honest and factual comment will be removed… hey ho…. RIP Zoe Zaremba. 🙏 Beautiful ‘autistic’ young woman. I miss you. X.

[@Maria7Maria]

@@deborahanne675 this is so true of the UK system especially. I’m also one of those who was wrongly labelled with BPD. It very early destroyed my life. I had been abused and because of my BPD diagnosis, the police refused to believe me when I tried to report the abuse - because of my diagnosis, as they also have access to mental health records here. I began to treat myself even more poorly, believing to the core that I was bad, unworthy, toxic and deserved to be alone or abused. I finally got some clarity when out of the NHS mental health system and my case was picked up by a private psychiatrist who is at the forefront of researching the misdiagnosis of BPD, especially in women, who have autism, ADHD and or PTSD. It turns out I have the latter two of those. I’m so sorry to here of the treatment and loss of your friend. It’s incredibly heartbreaking and she is missed I am sure. RIP 💜

[@Maria7Maria]

@@deborahanne675 I wish Kati would stop with the perpetuation of BPD as a real thing too. There is change on the horizon - there is a push from ex NHS workers to change the mental health services for personality disorders, to “complex trauma” units, and to screen more adults especially women for autism before diagnosing them with a disorder. I hope this continues. I’m going to stop watching Kati again now

[@deborahanne675]

@@Maria7Maria Absolutely! There is a huge movement happening - moving away from psychiatry and their stigmatising concepts such as BPD/EUPD. Trauma responses need a compassionate approach. In the UK those deemed ‘disordered’ are failed profoundly by MH professionals. The movement away from pathologising human suffering comes Not a minute too soon!

[@deborahanne675]

@@Maria7Maria I’m so sorry you were treated so badly, and given ‘That’ dx. Potentially a re traumatising experience. I feel relieved for you that you have found a professional, be it private, who understands and has the awareness & integrity to see through the lies of That BPD label. I wish you the most healing of journeys. 🙏

[@meri.dilkidhadkan]

Yeah there is a lot of genetic factors my grandfather has always had depression and so has my own father they all overthink so much

[@bookmouse2719]

So you are saying it's a matter of Nurture. I know there was something wrong with my Sister but thought it might be undiagnosed bipolar. My Dad use to tell her, "Why do you always need to be happy all the time?"

[@jeffknowlton5200]

Adversity in childhood and young adulthood too, I believe, can lead to mental illness if one is not careful. Especially if one didn't cope the best. The Joker had it right. What does not kill you makes you stranger.

[@MMStrademark]

I am sure my childhood caused something to happen with what my family & I have noticed about me, but we’re just not sure what it’s caused.

[@sofiapoulsen6380]

Thanks for staying scientific and not coming with the typical online simple answers! I have BPD but no trauma. Most likely genetic predisposition and an environment (parents, society) that didn’t validate emotions enough for that extra vulnerability etc. I’m frustrated by pop culture’s obsession with trauma as an explanation for mental illness. Also, having parents who are not the most emotionally mature possible does not mean they are neglecting their child. Things happen, we are humans and very complex.