Diogenes, the Publicly-Defecating Philosopher

Yet when I do it suddenly it's a crime
Check out my other channel, Sam O'Nella Vlog!
/ @samonellavlog2445
Follow me on twitter!
/ sam_onella
Intro and outro song:
"Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...

[@justaguycalledjosh]

"Diogenes, what are your reccomendations on the best kind of wine?" "Somebody else's"

[@My6119]

Underrated comment lol

[@hinicetomeetya5582]

“Joseph Joestar’s blood”

[@chaircrusaders1257]

@@hinicetomeetya5582 FINALLY, THE COMMENT I WAS LOOKING FOR

[@workhardism]

He answer: "I hate everything". Get it, thats a wine (whine).

[@kishascape]

Huh, maybe I need to start documenting the rantings of modern day crazy homeless people. I mean we have photography and video now. Who knows maybe people will end up considering them philosophers too.

[@N0TYALC]

“I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?” -Diogenes

[@ZOCCOK]

@@omidhassani4988 damn, that was not a burn, it was the entire sun

[@dixienormus5868]

Well he was lucky the man was not asian sorry force of habit

[@expanddong3102]

@@dixienormus5868 I'm an Asian and you know what? I'm not even mad

[@DivideBy0705]

@@omidhassani4988 damnnnn what a comment stealer you are cuz i can clearly see that exact comment over This one

[@omidhassani4988]

@@DivideBy0705 it’s literally something he said. I’m just telling some more stories of Diogenes

[@ordinaryextraordinary9484]

The whole, “Behold! Plato’s Man!” moment is so much funnier when you realise that Diogenes was a malnourished homeless man and Plato was an Olympic Wrestling Champion. Just some skin-and-bones guy throws a limp featherless chicken down in front of one of the most famous celebrities of his time and basically shouts, “FUCK YOU” in front of all his fans. I love it.

[@sideways5153]

I love the detail that Plato’s response to all that was so weak he just picked some other feature which could also just be ripped from or added to a chicken carcass

[@joshc5613]

like some homeless dude interrupting Dwayne Johnson during an interview 💀

[@knowahnosenothing4862]

If only he was alive to see these threads.

[@muhamadsyukribinhairuddin2028]

i have saw some post that claim that there is an occurence where Plato trying to win an argument with someone just by flexing his bicep funny he never try that with Diogenes

[@Sarah12471]

​@@muhamadsyukribinhairuddin2028 i mean plato could definitely do an arm wrestle and win

[@LuckyBird551]

Another Alexander - Diogenes story is this. Diogenes asked Alexander what he was going to do with that big army of his, to which Alexander replied that he was going to conquer the world. So Diogenes then asked, "What will you do after you have conquered the world?" and Alexander replied "I will rest and enjoy my time." To that Diogenes replied "Well, look at me, I am resting and enjoying my time, and I didn't need to conquer the world to do it."

[@mrtrollnator123]

Bro violated the most dangerous man in the world 💀

[@joshuapena4684]

So many quotes I've never heard

[@hasanmuttaqin464]

This wasn't diogenes

[@WxnderXfU]

That’s the lamest quote from Diogenes I have ever heard jesus christ

[@Butter_Warrior99]

I don’t care if this is made up by an ai, Blud would say this.

[@ShnoogleMan]

Greek philosophers were the edgelords of the ancient world.

[@IchCharacter]

And Geek philosophers are the edgelords of modern time. How curious.

[@Goldenheart_345]

I wish I found you sooner

[@bauhausa6933]

ShnoogleMan of course,fucking anybody is a edgelord..Fucking Hell

[@jafrost1328]

Ever seen a modern philosophy lecture? Filled with fedoras and mens rights activists

[@judgeholden6761]

@@jafrost1328 Very true but like I've also seen tumblr thread attempts to be philosophical and between the two mirror-copy yin-yang lonely self-obsessed polar opposites that are the neckbeard and the tumblr "SJW" or whatever, I'll take the smelly narcissist who can at least articulate abstract thought logically over the magical thinking electric blue-haired identity wizard who tries to weaponize personal weakness and moral superiority any day xD

[@darknesshas1]

Diogenes clowned on Plato so hard we still talk about it thousands out years later

[@muchwithamouthdogepool255]

What? He really did unfeathered a chicken?

[@denisveliu973]

@@muchwithamouthdogepool255 yes he did and plato had to change his term of a human.

[@Benxall]

@@muchwithamouthdogepool255 fuker walked in, said "behold! A man!" And left. Absolute fucking legend

[@ardademir1661]

@@muchwithamouthdogepool255 you thought this video was fake?

[@kartoffelwillipeter3067]

*ancient greek hobo makes a fool out of reknown philosopher * _people thousands of years later:_ lmao gottem

[@danielvictor3262]

My favorite anecdote of him was when some demagogue tried to debate him saying that "motion" did not actually exist, he just stood up and walked away lmao

[@jellyfish0311]

I wish I remembered his name. Funniest response to that guy imo.

[@madelinesydney92]

@@jellyfish0311 his name was Zeno :3

[@jellyfish0311]

@@madelinesydney92 thank you :)

[@mewmew8932]

@@madelinesydney92 wasn't he the OG non-believer of motion

[@gregoryhayes7569]

@@mewmew8932 Parmenides was "the OG non-believer of motion". Zeno was a follower of Parmenides known for trying to actually prove that motion was impossible.

[@mcalkis5771]

There was a time when he witnessed an archer who was trying to hit a target but kept failing. Diogenes proceeded to stand in front of the target, declaring: " This is the safest spot."

[@SertWasAName]

So he basically insulted someone’s aim thousands of years before gaming

[@owliestowlyowl6037]

@@SertWasAName I think he meant "Stop trying so hard lol"

[@mikeoxmall69420]

@@SertWasAName "lol git güd noob" - Diogenes of Sinope

[@LeviForWaifu]

The absolute savagery

[@siliconhawk9293]

call a ambulance but not for me

[@Prof.CheeseDog]

"The only place to spit in a rich man's home is his face" -Diogenes

[@lyndsayshirkey5228]

Exactly

[@Yalikejazzboi]

The only place to cum*

[@willrope5839]

Ya like jizz ?

[@OOf-yi8ko]

DIO

[@AlexeiAstergold]

And he was right

[@user-xz1wy4to4o]

they killed socrates for asking too many questions yet they gave the guy literally pissing and shitting on people a pass 💀

[@blueberry1vom1t]

to be fair he smelled like shit and was surrounded by an army of loyal dogs who followed him around everywhere. Yeah a side note people leave out is that he loved dogs and they loved him. So I guess people wanted to get rid of him, but didn't wanna deal with getting a big enough group of people to get close to his small army of dogs, who would absolutely give them the most infected bite wounds that side of the eastern hemisphere.

[@standingwhilepooping4685]

So what, I see nothing wrong with this.

[@KnightoftheSorryFace]

@@urmomsmomsmom The jester can speak freely, for nothing he says truly seems to matter

[@Spleens854]

@@KnightoftheSorryFace dude roasted the so hard they deleted the comment

[@KnightoftheSorryFace]

@@Spleens854 I don't think that was even against the person I replied to, I'm pretty sure I just saw an opportunity to reference a line I really liked in reference to whatever they said

[@Finkelfunk]

Nearly 9000 comments and no one has mentioned this anecdote of Diogenes: When the city where he lived was about to be attacked by an army, everybody started to panic and ran around aimlessly. Diogenes saw that, took his barrel and started to push it up a hill. Once he was up, he rolled it down again, and started over. When people came and asked why he was rolling his barrel up and down the hill he said: "I am just trying to make myself as useful as everybody else here"

[@user-mg7wh8zq6v]

i like to think even the soldiers was puzzled enough to halt fighting and look at his shenanigans

[@CoralCopperHead]

I can't tell if this was the inspiration for the boulder-pushing punishment in Greek mythology, or if he heard about that fable and then decided to re-enact it for shits and giggles.

[@user-dq6og5cw4c]

@@CoralCopperHead I am fairly sure that the myth came first, so probably the second one.

[@JaelinBezel]

Okay but imagine if no one asked him what he was doing. How long would he have kept it up?

[@user-Prometheus]

Another anecdote about him: He would usually carry a lamp with him during the day wherever he went, and when people asked him why he was carrying a lamp, he would reply that he is in search of an honest man. An “honest man” meaning that the entirety of Athens is corrupt, and nothing like a democracy.

[@andrewcleary9952]

I don't think you quite managed to capture the pure HYPE of Diogenese kicking down the door of a lecture theatre, holding a plucked chicken above his head, screaming *"BEHOLD A MAN!"*

[@iacopoguidi7871]

"Behold Plato's man!"

[@greekfreak0482]

Please explain

[@janaterbio8010]

Yes

[@prototype6706]

@@greekfreak0482 Plato said man is a "featherless biped" so Dio the Mano kicked his door in flaunting a, well, featherless chicken. *PLATO'S MAN, BEHOLD*

[@user-ni3rz7go9k]

Diogenes an intellectual and rarely a gentle type but 100% MAN.

[@NetVoyagerOne]

Alexander found the philosopher looking attentively at a pile of human bones. Diogenes explained, "I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave."

[@funnylittlecreature]

man that's just like what joe said the other day

[@lettuce7273]

@@funnylittlecreature who's joe

[@fall-from-grace1008]

@@lettuce7273 JOE MAMA

[@lettuce7273]

Fall-From-Grace ya got me

[@lettuce7273]

Pluto the Forgotten one I think my friend Juan woulda gotten it tbh

[@kylebaird7218]

When he was called out for touching himself in public he said “ if I could only rub my belly and make hunger go away.” He must have been really annoying. What a legend.

[@neckashi6971]

What does this mean?

[@kylebaird7218]

It’s a smart way of saying he is the bottom of society and leaving him alone is the best course of action for everyone involved.

[@Boxygirl96]

@@neckashi6971 ‘while I can’t rub my belly to dispel my hunger I can very much rub my d*** to dispel my need for pleasure. So f*** off’

[@ajasilikonreffkmimmon]

​@@neckashi6971He is masturbating

[@wilby8249]

​@@kylebaird7218 isnt it more like he rubs his dick and horniness goes away and wishes the same for hunger??

[@juwwad]

Surprising how nobody has mentioned when Diogenes was exiled from his city he replied, "I condemn you to live in this city".

[@invurret9533]

Didn't he get kicked out for debasing and hyperinflating the local currency too?

[@vittoriof.8088]

How can a homeless man hyperinflate a local currency?

[@invurret9533]

@vittoriof.8088 He was the son of the Mintmaster of Sinope and became his father's apprentice. Then he debased the currency (which lead to hyperinflation), was banished and ended up as the homeless man in Athens. Edit: Found out why he did it: He went to the oracle of Delphi and was told to debase the currency, and after the Sinope incident, decided that the oracle meant the political currency.

[@vittoriof.8088]

@@invurret9533 Damn, thats something you don't learn in school.

[@skeletonbuyingpealts7134]

​@@invurret9533what a chad

[@pieandcheese647]

“The wise man at the nudist beach covers not his balls, but his face” -Diogenes (I think)

[@b4594]

Wise words from a wise man

[@causticmain7477]

@@b4594 a wise man indeed

[@kikiretzorg1467]

Hmm, yes, very wise

[@causticmain7477]

@@kikiretzorg1467 have you heard the story of Darth Plagueis the wise

[@microwave8931]

This sounds like something he would say

[@TheKarp]

There was also the one about the Archer that kept missing his target in the archery range. Diogenes then sat next to the target saying "this is the safest spot".

[@xavi.cat.4095]

Uh... For that to make sense, shouldn't he be in front of the target? Since, you know, it's the target that's he's missing? If he misses the target, which he will, and the arrow goes to the side he's on, the world would lose its first living meme.

[@TheKarp]

@@xavi.cat.4095 my bad, misworded. By beside I meant in front of the target

[@JC-vp7pd]

@@TheKarpThen edit and fix your comment 😐

[@gabrielreda]

@I kissed your dad You should your name

[@Tarzan118]

Gabriel Reda you should edit my fat fucking nuts

[@rashto3940]

I am downright appalled that Diogenes isn't talked about as nearly as he should be his life story is completely insane

[@rosethunder3820]

The fact we still know so much about him today says everything

[@Mightymite1]

When Diogenes was to be sold to slavery, he was asked which task he was best at. He replied, "Being a master."

[@candy2712]

"I am Alexander, I can offer you literally anything." "k fam, get outta my way"

[@TheCutePyro]

flames 64 The most powerful man in the world said he will do anything for you and you ask him to get out of your way.

[@maelgugi]

Reese Frohlich Actually it's a pretty deep request, basically he said "let me live my life the way I want it to be without the interference of big government or pointless random norms imposed by society"... or maybe he was already in his way, I guess we'll never know

[@candy2712]

maelgugi "live my live"

[@maelgugi]

flames 64 Thanks for helping my english

[@candy2712]

maelgugi np

[@ventu7907]

Most historians agree that he was the first true living meme

[@baronvonbeandip]

9/10 dentists also agree.

[@hoolio5659]

And the

[@tarrahforcier477]

@@baronvonbeandip nah, 10/10

[@krafter8652]

666th like

[@kegleg20]

A true mad lad

[@Tyler-ip7mj]

Diogenes' had a student named Menippus who was also a Cynic. Lucian wrote some stories about Menippus going to the Underworld and in one of them Menippus has a conversation with Cerberus and it's basically just him going "gods you're really living the dream as a dog"

[@skeletonbuyingpealts7134]

Diogenes had an army of dogs, right?

[@Anon26535]

You thought "behold, a man" was a stupid meme from the internet, when in fact it was I, DIOgenes!

[@adrianjamesdelfin7414]

このディオだ！

[@tapadhleibh3052]

Diogenes: The First Shitposter Coming to your local movie theater soon!

[@carcinogenicthalidomide3057]

A NGE fan,pretty rare these days.

[@tapadhleibh3052]

Just in Y. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only teen who really loves NGE

[@carcinogenicthalidomide3057]

@@tapadhleibh3052 for a show from 1995,you sure are. Genuinely Good anime shows are rare nowadays.

[@lephantomchickn3676]

Literally if you think about it

[@whypinky3491]

Onika M starships were meant to fly

[@equidistanthoneyjoy7600]

Man, shame you didn't mention the part about him walking around with a lantern during the day and shining it in peoples faces saying that he was 'looking for an honest man'.

[@TheKhopesh]

Yeah, that is a good one. I like how he was actually taken as a slave, and while standing in line to be sold he pointed at one of the potential slave buyers and declared something like "You look like you need a man to run your life for you"... and the guy immediately bought him. Diogenes then spent a few years running the man's household. Everything from the finances to cleaning.

[@DLBBALL]

@@TheKhopesh "a years"?

[@TheKhopesh]

@@DLBBALL Woops, a few years.

[@MrAwesomeLuisreal]

@@TheKhopesh did he also run the man's wife?

[@robotmaster4515]

@@MrAwesomeLuisreal Of course when he wasn't looking.

[@NStripleseven]

That bit where he wanted to be thrown into the wilderness after he died had another part to it. He was discussing this with someone, and they asked why he would allow his body to be torn to shreds. He responded “Well then, I’ll ask them to give me a knife so I can defend myself.” After the obvious “what are you going to do with a knife, you’ll be dead,” he responded with “Then why should I care what happens to me?”

[@FightingPost]

The Greek for when Diogenes told Alexander to move apparently has a double meaning. Alternatively meaning “enlighten me”. Which makes it even more cool

[@jmr2343]

Don’t forget when Alexander the Great asked Diogenes why he was digging through a pile of bones, and Diogenes said, “I was looking for your father, but I can’t dispute his bones with that of a slave.”

[@cyberdiver7076]

Damn I think Alexander got 3rd degree burn from that roast

[@cpegg5840]

Olympias would have found that hilarious if she were present

[@thegoldengamer9315]

Third degree burns.

[@TheNinja94a]

Okay why is Diogenes just straight roasting Alexander-is there like, a history or something? Does Diogenes not like the imbalance of power a monarchy has, and insults Alexander as a result? Edit: Googled it, since after posting this comment, I realized that anything that I can type here can be typed into a URL. Yeah, it was the second one. He disliked Alex's want for power.

[@jmr2343]

Cockroach yup.

[@yoboikamil525]

when we talked about him in school he was apparently some cultured philosopher, but irl he was a living shitpost.

[@KittyPants.]

Why is that so accurate tho?

[@proudalbanian6786]

@@KittyPants. yes

[@corinthiaevangeline9023]

I feel like he'd love tumblr

[@MasonGreenWeed]

@@corinthiaevangeline9023 before the great purge

[@surfboardjoker6299]

@@corinthiaevangeline9023 He'd probably be disgusted with almost every aspect of the internet, and modern society. As he should.

[@firewizardrunepro]

Digenes living till 89 at that time period is insane

[@corebite]

Diogenes is the epidemy of pure logic. Everything he does is just the embodiment of ones simple and unexplicable desires, without all the symbolic bullshit around it. He was living life just for being and existing. By far the most down to earth guy who wasn't afraid of the hard, cold and simple truth. Ever.

[@DarrelWatkins77]

You’re so stupid😂

[@captainjules6033]

Fun fact, after that whole “blocking the sun” line, Alexander, unfazed, said “if I was not Alexander, I would want to be Diogenes” to which Diogenes responded “if I was not Diogenes, I would still want to be Diogenes.” The madman.

[@sonicboomers122]

This is the definition of King Shit.

[@ostangvulkahn1875]

Fucking legend

[@shannonsmith8115]

Fuckin rebel

[@skeya6790]

Self-love

[@4plus4equalsmoo]

if i was you, i'd wanna be me too

[@Dalen22_W]

He is famous for both giving a shit and not giving a shit

[@sergei9327]

and taking a shit

[@teli6350]

And taking a shit without giving a shit

[@Bobelponge123]

And shitposts

[@Dalen22_W]

do you know de way? Thx

[@Lunar_Spell]

"In a rich man's house, there is no place to spit but in his face." - Diogenes

[@br0sine]

0:17 WELL THAT JUST AGED BADLY

[@malodos2295]

Wym?

[@superwii6091]

@@malodos2295He supported Hitler’s actions

[@particles.in.motion]

LMAOOO😭😭

[@qwertyuiop.lkjhgfdsa]

no, it aged like wine

[@dogeyeslin]

Hes still right

[@karna5998]

"Some say He just got tired of living and held his breath until he died " Daaaaaaamn, for some reason it sounds so badass

[@jinjiyoshi5548]

I heard that's physically impossible as your body would pass out from lack of air and naturally start taking in oxygen again. But I guess it's a lot more likely the older one gets. Either that, or Diogenes just gave a huge middle finger to science itself, meaning that not even it could fully dictate him.

[@karna5998]

@@jinjiyoshi5548 yeah I remember when I was in 6th grade, our principal/teacher said that "you can not commit suicide by holding your breathe, you will become unconscious and you will start breathing on autopilot" pretty dark stuff to tell 6th graders lol but that's how it went down

[@MineSlimeTV]

@@karna5998 But why did she suddenly said something like that? Sorry for asking such a question my friend

[@karna5998]

@@MineSlimeTV I Don't Know Man Haha, Maybe We Are Casual With The Topic Of Death? At that age I didn't understand that it was pretty dark stuff for a 6th grader , because Everyone was like that

[@MineSlimeTV]

@@karna5998 Oooh..I see and I was not expecting such a sudden answer! I mostly remember I was in those days questioning and or thinking allot about topics that maybe were controversial at that time. Like me asking who really was "The Virgin Mary" and on my mind discovering the idea of homosexuality as something normal and out of the ordinary. I even thought that african-american and such simply had such "tan" because they stayed a long time on the sun, making me think they just during their youth did a mistake and now their skin suddenly changed. I just..felt to share some odd things that I remeber or I mostly did I hope that was not too.unusual at all

[@nikgokuhil]

Alternative route- Diogenes covers himself in feathers- I'VE ABANDONED MY HUMANITY PLATO!!!!

[@chaircrusaders1257]

DIO was in fact wearing a coat with feathers in that scene. Coincidence?

[@SheepSleeper]

@@chaircrusaders1257 I think NOT

[@SheepSleeper]

@Captain Bruh yeah, the joke was kinda forced, but they had the spirit

[@adrifitz8793]

Here’s the thing, it’s like JoJokes are like 69 gags. Both are not inherently funny nor original, but they tend to pop in the most unlikely of scenarios that you can’t help but chuckle at the stupidity of their existence. They’re still funny, just not in the way one would expect.

[@Dokataa]

@@adrifitz8793 I was gonna call you the oingo boingo of stands but you got there in the end

[@aes2621]

I remember when this video came out, I thought it was really one of the funniest videos. Now 5 years later I’m using it as a source in my philosophy thesis lol

[@thetexan1011]

How did it go?

[@bierwolf8360]

you really are putting a lot of effort into your burger-flipping career

[@aldrich_leon8547]

its been 10 months. how's your thesis going?

[@The_Biscuit_From_Heaven]

- Acts like a raving lunatic - Tells one of the most powerful people in the world to move out of the way - Dies - Doesn’t elaborate Sigma grindset 😎

[@rainbowpopcorns1325]

Someone could say literally anything about Diogenes and I would belive them with no doubt

[@davidcool5189]

He was subtle in his wisdom.

[@mortson978]

He once held an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid, at a party

[@howdoyoudo5949]

He once had s*x with my wife and I'm not married

[@themememixers8965]

I saw this coming yet I’m still surprised

[@worstusernameintheworld9871]

He climbed up a mountain using a hammer while sitting in a pot. He then saw a kid climbing the mountain with his bare hands only for Diogenes to realize how materialistic he was for owning the hammer.

[@darrelstinkmeaner4673]

"When I'm dead just throw me in the trash" -Diogenes, probably

[@horacegentleman3296]

Diogenes was definitely fringe class.

[@innosanto]

Diogenes actually said : Through my body outside the walls. And this is the start of an anecdotal conversation ( they told him: the dogs will start biting you. Wouldn't that bother you? Diogenes:.Then give me a bone to get up and scare them away. Others: And how will you do that if you're dead? Diogenes: Then why would I be bothered? ) There are actually many good ones with Diogenes. Diogenes if I remember correctly generally idolized the dogs ( and cynic comes from greek word for dog)

[@Prizm17]

0:50 I always took “he has a bowl but saw a kid drinking from his hands and said ‘what do I need this shit for’ “ as he gave the kid his bowl cuz he was a nice dude, after watching so many times it finally hit me, the bowl is obsolete, he wasn’t being nice and giving the kid the bowl he threw it away because his hands were all he needed 😂😂😂

[@THEEPICINDIEGAMER]

0:18 Rip

[@oshwaflz]

beat me to it lol

[@mr.anderson2241]

"YEAH UH, WHAT THE FUCK?"

[@KonEl-BlackZero]

Thats me in every Salmonella video.

[@jondunlap1892]

i don't think that sentence existed yet, he was speaking english

[@Quandaledillywingle]

Mr. Anderson - professional catholic monster hunter 😂😂

[@rorybrennan5562]

Mr. Anderson - professional catholic monster hunter ii

[@PyroChimp75]

Diogenes carried a lit lantern through the streets in broad daylight, when asked why he carries a lantern he'd reply that he was "fruitlessly searching for a sincere man/person".

[@ILOVEDILFS42069]

"The mad man"

[@p1ntu_]

Is this true?

[@witherblaze]

@@p1ntu_ no. It's a story made up by Nietzche

[@cdogthehedgehog6923]

What he actually meant by this was he was looking for a "real human being" because he didn't think humans were real. Seriously.

[@witherblaze]

@@cdogthehedgehog6923 wha?

[@dirdydan]

Jokes still hold up after all this time. Truly the mark of a talented creator. Glad to have you back

[@randomguy7174]

another fun anecdote: Diogenes was watching an archery contest once, and one of the archers missed his target completely, so Diogenes sat in front of the target and said "this might as well be the safest place"

[@RotaAbyssian]

The best thing about Diogenes' death is that he used it as a final lesson. When people protested about throwing his dead body to the forest, diogenes replied "Fine, then strap a sword or stick in my hand so I may fight them off." when people then replied with the obvious fact that he wouldn't be alive nor conscious to fend them off, he fired back "then I suppose I won't conscious enough to CARE what happens to me, will I?"

[@diretnandomnan6060]

😂😂 fucking cynic

[@elliotwright6823]

shrek DSMN IT SPOILERS I DIDNT WANT TO KNOWMIF HE DIED

[@elliotwright6823]

Oh I forgot I have go d autocorrected to shrek

[@cheems2739]

Perfect Events me too 😂

[@zejdland]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pni9i5WiYpmWf7M

[@RegeroTerra]

There's also the part where he was captured and sold into slavery. Diogenes famously got offended that the guy selling the slaves wasn't representing him well and Diogenes felt he should be worth more. He took the stage and began extolling to the crowd that the most important part of a good slave is the character and wit of the individual. He was purchased by a wealthy Greek family and was kept as a very famous tutor for students. He was regarded as a "lovable menace" about the house until his dying day.

[@Name-ot3xw]

Gotta love a happy ending

[@creating...6001]

Lovable menace, hahahahah...

[@SatanicGhostCat]

Good for him

[@farquaadswife]

why did so many things happen to him😭😭😭😭

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎‎‎

[@lemonize30]

1:21 "Out with waste" "Out with waste" 💀

[@diegovane5827]

“In a rich man’s house, there is no place to spit but his face” -Diogenes

[@bioemiliano]

You get it wrong, the thing was that "I couldn't find a dirtiest place in all the mansion"

[@disbeafakename167]

Poor folks love to misquote this.

[@Lambda_Ovine]

The encounter where something like this: Rich asshole after inviting Diogenes to his house: Be careful, you filth. Everything you see is worth more than you. Diogenes: *Spits on his face. Rich asshole: What the fuck?! Diogenes: Sorry, but everything here is worth more than you, and I didn't know where else to spit.

[@otakuterrarian5430]

Lets Refer to Diogenes Hence forth as "proto kinda marx"

[@joebro2tle257]

@@John-ir4id Fuck you mean then they realise? They're dead they wouldn't be able to realise anything. Also a lot of rich people are famous which means of they die they most likely means their death will be covered on the news and and it will be known across the world. Thousands of people die everyday and I don't see the news covering each and every one. Also way back then rich people were also very powerful and in some way had connections to royalty or a government.

[@stardragon7893]

Diogenes was one of the first madlads. I feel like the only reason he wasn't kicked out is because everyone was both disgusted and impressed.

[@labrynianrebel]

He was exiled from his home town

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎E‎

[@yeffaros8419]

​@@labrynianrebel and he made it everyone else's problem

[@dimsum3329]

​@yeffaros8419 when he got banished, and he said "and I force you all to stay here"

[@barnabashanko1806]

I have just learned that the guy in Getting Over It is actually a reference to Diogenes. (The guy's name is Diogenes too)

[@Lambda_Ovine]

Diogenes after being kidnapped for slavery: Sell me to that man, he's in need of a master.

[@Spongebrain97]

@I'm on crack yeah he apparently didnt mind being a slave because he wasnt used for manual labor but was instead a tutor that could lay around in doors

[@adams_chong9450]

Fuckin madlad

[@Kareltiv]

WOW imagine if pets chose THEIR owners

[@JohnSmith-ex8iw]

I swear, this man's tongue is a fucking gun. He murders all with his sharp insults.

[@nabkill0134]

The fact that the man indeed buy him is crazy.

[@Fanimati0n]

You forgot the further interaction between Alexander the Great & Diogenes. After he told him to quit blocking his sunlight, Alexander, in awe of Diogenes' testicular fortitude, told him "if I were not already Alexander, I would wish to be you." To which Diogenes responded "If I weren't me, I'd want to be me too."

[@kamai9440]

Badass

[@Noway022]

And then the whole class stood up and started clapping

[@kamai9440]

@@Noway022 diogenes: I'm gonna dab on those emperor's

[@mfrommi6593]

Thug Life

[@calmdown5559]

It's literally in the video...

[@Btester2]

Once plato saw him washing vegetables in a river and plato said: If you knew how to court kings you wouldnt have to wash vegetables. To this dio said: If uou knew how to wash vegetables you wouldnt have to court kings.

[@Xx_Tuberculosis_xX]

0:18 R.I.P. Peewee

[@soribannon441]

My favorite Diogenes quote: In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face, dude hated the one percent before there was a one percent

[@soribannon441]

@patrick howard That's why I'm not communist, I'm a democratic socialist.

[@abbyfisher8079]

@Christobanistan you act as though liblefts don't exist

[@abbyfisher8079]

@beebly revolutionary catalonia

[@sarafontanini7051]

diogenese, probably: fuck zeus. *throws his own poop at zeus*

[@alverdeo965]

"Cool it with the anti semitic remarks"

[@boketto9091]

After Diogenes’s plucking a chicken stunt, Plato actually changed his definition of a human to ‘A featherless biped with flat broad nails.’ Which is fucking hilarious.

[@rigbyshaun5580]

He didn’t go with like flightless, but the shape of T O E N A I L S

[@KittyPants.]

Why the toenails tho?

[@rigbyshaun5580]

@@KittyPants. don’t you know? Chickens have broad fingernails

[@KittyPants.]

@@rigbyshaun5580 just got done eating and this is what is come back too

[@KittyPants.]

@@rigbyshaun5580 the even funnier thing is that I have chickens

[@professionaldumbo5609]

1:42 Humans in simple terms is: advanced monke

[@JojiLegend]

Problem is... Try to explain what a monkey is to an ancient Greek man.

[@IGuessIDoThings]

0:16 oh boy that’s funny considering what recently happened

[@ohhhstinky7609]

He made graduation he made my beautiful and dark twisted fantasy he made the collage drop out

[@user-hb4iz8ym2d]

​@@ohhhstinky7609and?!!

[@someguyy194_2]

⁠@@ohhhstinky7609and late registration

[@ohhhstinky7609]

@@someguyy194_2 and life of Pablo

[@mrhelitosis7564]

@@ohhhstinky7609and yeezus

[@allisonwest7079]

"He criticized Plato, disputed his interpretation of Socrates, and sabotaged his lectures, sometimes distracting listeners by bringing food and eating during the discussions." What a guy

[@cdemr]

Sounds like Gregory House

[@youwerethere]

Bro was the back of the class

[@advin6294]

Some say he defecate and probably masturbate in Plato's lecture.

[@samiamtheman7379]

What does it say about Socrates when Diogenes existed, yet no one ever made him eat poison berries?

[@AA-vr8ve]

This is just that one kid in every college lecture ever

[@nathanapplegate5374]

Diogenes once saw an archer hopelessly trying to hit a target. Diogenes then sat in front of the target, and said it was the safest place to be

[@carrierogers874]

An oldy and a goody. This video brings me so much joy. Hope you're doing well in the world, Sam.

[@marcotanzilli6510]

I saw a lot of citations on him but not my favorite, Alexander to make fun of him started calling him dog, and sent to him as a gift one plate full of bones. Diogenes accepted the gift, and sent back the words "Worthy of a dog is this food, unworthy of a king is this gift", the absolute madman

[@FragmentedR_YT]

Man, dude really lived in one of the greatest conqueror’s heads rent free.

[@owenkasaboski6902]

@@FragmentedR_YT Nah, he straight up got paid to live there. A plate of bones a day keeps death at bay ( some necromancer somewhere idk where i'm going with this )

[@konrad8541]

Goddamn

[@Batchall_Accepted]

@@FragmentedR_YT Idk about that from what I read on Alexander I think hed have most definitely got a kick out of this shit. He was practically raised by Aristotle and used to hang out with philosophers constantly cause they were the only ones with the balls to talk straight to him. In fact it's when he started straying from that open mindedness after the conquest of Persia, and traded in all his philosopher buddies for yes men and sycophants, is when he started going off the rails and acting tyrannical, and it's theorized that Aristotle was the one who poisoned him cause he was getting out of control.

[@kopiko102277]

HAVE YOUR 1K LIKES

[@Cauks1]

“If I were not Alexander, I would like to be Diogenes” Alexander the Great

[@theawesomeboy8888]

"If I were not Diogenes, I would like to be Diogenes" Diogenes the Cynic to Alexander

[@jooot_6850]

@@theawesomeboy8888 Diogenes the Greater

[@georgy2596]

“Sam “O’nella” the greatest

[@MarcyTheKindaCoolWizard]

@@jooot_6850 Diogenes the cheese grater*

[@zejdland]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pni9i5WiYpmWf7M i am alexander

[@BenDover-yn3el]

The Kanye west one did not age well 💀

[@zchsk57779]

*Did age well (this is a joke)

[@Rytonic69]

"There is nowhere to spit in a rich man's house except his face." Incredibly based, the only philosopher I like

[@MarcyTheKindaCoolWizard]

I think it's just hilarious how there are two ways of seeing Diogenes 1- A very wise poor man who constantly shared hos wisdom 2- Greek's local shitposter

[@Demonicidiot]

I see it as both of those

[@46.ri9]

literal shitposter

[@AkiraSugo.mp3]

He was a real gamer. Never took a shower and hated society

[@Himax9]

Same thing.

[@kuratse205]

3- A badass that had unwavering beliefs about the world, and exhibited those beliefs in the most ridiculous and funny ways.

[@sicksalt7765]

Plato: The definition of human is “featherless biped” Diogenes : I’m about to do what’s called a pro-gamer move

[@panzerfich]

*pro-philosopher move

[@Balweh1]

I'm about to destroy this man's career.*

[@etho7351]

I'm about to end this mans whole career

[@tommyzoom9976]

The original troll

[@etho7351]

@@tommyzoom9976 except he wasn't a toxic troll he was Somehow noble.

[@mpeters0312]

Idk about anyone else, but I still watch this mans videos on repeat. It’s a problem that I don’t think I’ll ever stop lol.

[@hamburger2967]

Diogenes is truly the most based sigma male in existance

[@Ari-nw3qy]

Fun fact: Diogenes often liked representing himself as a dog, making him the world's first furry.

[@Kuhmuhnistische_Partei]

Yeah, "Cynicism" derived from κυνικός (kynikos) 'dog-like' or κύων (kyôn) 'dog'.

[@demdem7946]

no

[@tesial]

Please delete this.

[@NerdStuffing]

Thank you very cool

[@oscarbelmare_22]

So the first memer was also a furry.............. thats something

[@bigjim9956]

No obese women of color in smash? Wrong. Wario exists.

[@thedkboyz]

THANKS NOW I GOT COFFE ON MY SCREEN AND SNOT ALL OVER MY FACE

[@bigjim9956]

apologies, my dude.

[@fivefivetensmysenpai9550]

@@bigjim9956 you seen morgana?

[@fivefivetensmysenpai9550]

@@bigjim9956 that was also a joke If you havent played persona 5 then you wouldnt get it

[@bigjim9956]

I haven’t.

[@FierceLord]

Diogenes was such a chad.

[@wewillwin24]

He is also sometimes referred to as "the first San Franciscan"

[@MrJostur]

"STOP SHITTING EVERYWHERE! I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL-" "What are you gonna do? Burn my house?"

[@l_ndonmusic]

“My world’s on fire, how bout your’s?”

[@FlexBeanbag]

@@l_ndonmusic kzbin.info/www/bejne/eJ7GaoF8m82rbZY

[@olbradley]

@@FlexBeanbag I've learned from experience not to click on links.

[@FlexBeanbag]

@@olbradley well my link is worth clicking

[@hankrogers8431]

@@FlexBeanbag That's what she said

[@austin0girl]

Diogenes really just said: “hey this whole life thing is boring peace”

[@themostbritishpersonalive868]

He saw a ghost and decided his physical form was useless

[@Real_Tower_Pizza]

@@themostbritishpersonalive868 Lol he probobly just held his breath untill he died of lack of oxygen or som shit

[@100KGNatty]

If Plato and Aristotle were twitter and instagram, then Diogenes would be 4chan

[@ZackofSpades]

Another anecdote was about what he chose to do with his body. When he was told that his body would be eaten by wild animals, he shrugged and told them "I'll be dead, so I don't care, but, if you're that concerned, then give my body a stick to fight them off with."

[@Gilgax127]

Diogenes did not give a shit He gave out many in public for what i understood.

[@mstr293]

+Andrew Francisco You didn't see the "Read more option", did you?

[@andrewfrancisco7325]

No it wasn't working on my phone, which is where wrote that.

[@rebelbeammasterx8472]

Diogenes didn't give a shit, but he gave a lot of shits on the ground.

[@qwaysqaywsx]

So Diogenes is the ancient Rick Sanchez ?

[@reikasol]

Gilgax I

[@portalowy5346]

Yes, my student? :YEAH UH, WHAT THE FUCK" perfect scene.

[@scottl875]

Portalowy me in chemistry

[@bvssl]

EPIC

[@norgepalm7315]

AlSamaani Bassel. LE EPIC amiright xD?!?!!?!!1!1

[@Kids_Scissors]

He also climbed a mountain of props with a hammer or somethin

[@Blind_Hawk]

2:11 I get Rick and Morty vibes.

[@korbencrosby8968]

Plato: creates theory of knowlege -it gets debunked by another philosopher Plato: defines a human -it gets debunked by homeless man hhhhhmmmm...

[@RandemFellow]

Plato was wrong about a lot of things.

[@randoprior4130]

@@RandemFellow| but he did get people to think. His ideas could be way off base, but he died leaving us questions nobody had ever even thought to consider. Philosophy isn't about being right; that would be science. Philosophy is about looking at the world from such a perverted fantastical point of view that it looks different. It is like trying to define a question that is so ambiguous that it has no solution. But in seeking the solution, it moulds our thoughts and changes how we examine the world around us. In this sense, he was still a great philosopher, and deserves the respect his memory has.

[@bernardocoto8519]

@@randoprior4130 Plato has become famous through our times because his writings managed to survive through war, fire and other calamities. Unfortunately, there are dozens of philosophers we know nothing about and never will because their work failed to survive, not because of lack of quality, but by sheer luck. Diogenes left some writings but his own disciples thought the themes were too disturbing and destroyed them. He's supposed to have written a text about canibbalism and poverty and, if we use our imagination a bit, well, let's just say Jonathan swift touched the same topics and ended up with an essay were he defends that in order to end hunger and poverty, we should eat the poor. Just imagine what Diogenes would have done with such a topic...

[@kingbreloom2630]

@@randoprior4130 not true. Chinese philosophers far back already found these theories but didn't attribute names to them and called them 'common sense'

[@jackalope2302]

Why not. We can learn from the mistakes of what was once considered to be a wise man. An marvel when he actually gets something right. Plus, when you're the first superstar of your field, you will be remembered, mistakes and triumphs. Just ask the Beatles. Or Freud.

[@clubstepstudios3912]

Next thing you know Diogenes is in a cauldron using a hammer to climb a mountain.

[@alexandersmidt5289]

Still annoying the crap out of everybody, even after multiple millenia.

[@IAdmitMyCrime]

nice reference

[@worldprops333]

CLUBSTEP MONSTER

[@bandhanmondal4685]

This is type of channel I watch all the videos the day I discover it on KZbin ❤

[@TheAhmadShow717]

Great and brilliant video ❤️🙏🏻

[@svord00]

He came to Plato with a chicken and yelled "BEHOLD! A MAN!". far better than what he reenacted. Plato also said to Diogenese: "This is a cup, there are many cups in the world, there is only one idea of a cup and this cupness precedes the existence of all particular cups". "I can see the cup on the table" said Diogenes, "but I can't see the cupness". "That's because you have the eyes to see the cup," said Plato, "but", tapping his head with his forefingers, " you don't have the intellect with which to comprehend cupness" Diogenes walked up to the table, examined a cup and looking inside, asked," Is it empty?" Plato nodded. "Where is the emptiness which precedes this empty cup?" asked Diogenes. Plato allowed himself a few moments to collect his thoughts, but Diogenese reached over and tapping Plato's head with his finger said: "I think you will fin here is the emptiness".

[@ninjabluefyre3815]

Reminds me of Mercutio.

[@metehan5744]

Diogenes didnt need fire to cook his food, he roasted other philosophers daily

[@zorkwithawhy7455]

THAT THE SICKEST FUCKING BURN I HEARD

[@ryanhernandez1877]

It's a wonder this lad wasn't killed. He's amazing.

[@GumSkyloard]

He was a god among men, holy Diogenes.

[@grendel6005]

we talked about him in my philosophy class and my teacher referred to him as "the original edgelord" Edit: my teacher called him this as a joke. You people are taking it way too seriously.

[@Aadhitiya_Murali]

tbh, he was anything but an edgelord.

[@m-mori]

@@Aadhitiya_Murali Yeah I too feel lke thats inadequate. His whole lifestyle didnt just revolve around being cool because hes not like others but rather around critizising problems that not many besides him did,

[@marshmallowcello7528]

More like the OG shitposter

[@DrUnfunny]

@@marshmallowcello7528 Shit posting is an art

[@lianawang4219]

@@marshmallowcello7528 with literal shit sometimes

[@Herrenvolk1933]

0:18 rip Pee Wee Herman man I rubbed one out in the theaters just for him 😢

[@Oblivitana]

.

[@hannielelysium292]

The first video i ever watched from sam o'nella..... and it didn't disappoint

[@thelaughingman3443]

and he turned himself into a fatherless biped. Funniest shit I've ever seen

[@OffGridInvestor]

FEATHERless

[@thelaughingman3443]

That too

[@DrUnfunny]

God damn it.

[@hughesj]

Yeah, uh, what the fuck?

[@thelaughingman3443]

@@hughesj both fatherless and featherless

[@Zeruel3]

"Oh god dammit not you again" I get the feeling Plato said that a lot whenever Diogenes was around

[@hobo_joe7480]

It would have been against his principles as the basis of philosophy is argument

[@Gangsta_Playz]

2:06-2:32 This is my favorite clip on the entire internet

[@blackasthesky]

89 years in ancient Greece is a fucking lot.

[@Gigas0101]

You missed a bit of sass worth going over where people were horrified about how he wanted to get thrown outside the city and said "Dude, the animals will eat your body" So Diogenes said "Okay, give me a stick so I can beat up the animals when they try to eat me" And the people said "Wait, how are you going to use a stick? You'll be dead." And Diogenes replied "Yeah, I won't have much use for a stick, huh... Or a body, idiots." I'm paraphrasing a bit but it's another example of just how awesome he was.

[@erikkooy2804]

My Latin exam in high school was about this story. It was amazing

[@lucaskrsrensen4587]

He was so ahead of his time

[@ryanhernandez1877]

This mans

[@franktheprank7336]

Also lets not forget that after Diogenes did his featherless biped stunt, Plato change his description of a man to "a featherless biped with broad flat nails". This means that Plato, upon seeing Diogenes throw a featherless(an probably dead)chicken in the middle of his lecture, basically said "I mean...he has a point".

[@XxzephyrusxX1]

Two corrections: a) Diogenes was actually relatively clean, if not just as clean as everyone else. Living in the streets didn't mean lack of ways to wash in ancient Greece ('specially Athens, though he lived in Corinth for a long time). There's an anecdote that once upon a time he was invited to dinner and when he asked to go to the bathroom, the host took him to wash and upon looking at the sorry state of the bath he said "Where do those that wash here, go to wash themselves after?". So it's implied that he was relatively clean to have made that remark. He was also a slave to a rich household and thus had access to baths etc. b) In his confrontation with Alexander, he didn't tell him to move over, he told him "enlighten me" which in Ancient Greek could mean either: a) Move so that you don't hide the sun or b) give me knowledge. It was a really smart pun and because of that Alexander replied "If I hadn't been born Alexander, I'd like to have been born Diogenes".

[@GumSkyloard]

"Yeah, if I hadn't been born Diogenes, I'd like to have been born Diogenes too."

[@talaldimashkie5869]

@@GumSkyloard me too

[@ryanhernandez1877]

Woah

[@RedFloyd469]

There's some doubt whether the anecdote of Alexander meeting Diogenes is actually true. Most of these stories need to be taken with a grain of salt.

[@Hanzel06]

Fuckin' nerd

[@koranda2161]

0:17 well this aged poorly

[@iamapinkshark8103]

As a person who has to take literal lessons at school about Plato, I deeply appreciate the accuracy in his speech before he got interrupted by Dionedes, about that whole "you have all the knowledge inside you -like literally, everything, all knowledge ever- but when your soul came to inhabit your body it forgot everything and now you need a someone to remind you all of it. My teacher says he might have been schizophrenic, considering the definition psychologist have given it today.... Guy was seeing things and believed in a world way up in the cloud that was "the real world" and that our world and what we lived was just a reflection of that other world..... I guess calling humans featherless chickens was the closest thing to a normal he had ever said....