The Presidential Assassination Nobody Talks About

[@NotLilWien]

"Hey man, ever heard of Hitler?" "No, who's him?" "That guy that killed Hitler." "Ohh that guy"

[@KouNagai]

NoFckYou. This place gonna be crowd

[@yxGu-lj3li]

Ha you were wrong

[@Manelneedsaname]

I knew I heard him

[@tinkaraazb9383]

XD

[@maybej]

Crowd

[@ShnoogleMan]

I love how as a child he's still depicted with a beard.

[@paulko2]

Omg I tought he was simply really small hahahahahaahah

[@caden3122]

T I N Y B E A R D

[@Darth_Bateman]

On that fateful day, he became a man.

[@CometMothman]

*and your a child with a mustache*

[@wilsoncalhoun]

That's because you merely adopted the beard. He was born with it, molded by it. Guiteau didn't see a razor until he was already a man; by then, it was nothing but manscaping! The beard betrays you, because it belongs to him. I wonder, what will break first? Your stubble? Or your spirit?

[@griefingg0lem685]

The best irony is that he wanted to go down in history as a famous assassin of a president and this is the first time I ever heard of him.

[@tigerwolf2243]

What was his name again? The guy who assassinated the less famous Garfield? Eh, never mind it's not important.

[@griefingg0lem685]

@Projekt Kobra Yeah, as that is the literally definition of fame. Quote: "the state of being known or talked about by many people, especially on account of notable achievements."

[@griefingg0lem685]

@Projekt Kobra Would you still call this guy famous?

[@Crim_Zen]

I first heard about him almost 10 years ago in my civics class... I hadn't heard much about him after that class. I do mention his name and story when people talk about the other presidential assassins. It's usually something like "You guys forgot the stupidest one ..." The topic usually comes up when talking about the presidents with the shortest term.

[@compositebow151]

Big same

[@alancoe1002]

Shot by Guiteau, but killed by his doctors. The autopsy showed there was already a protective cyst being formed around the bullet, but they worried more about the non-threat of "lead poisoning" than they did about their absolutely filthy surgical practices. Besides the insanity plea, I think the defense attorney went for the killed-by-doctors angle, too.

[@big_sea]

yes

[@HandsomeLad69]

It was the Wild West in medicine around that time😂😂😂

[@haydeanbeatz1449]

@@HandsomeLad69that’s because it was the Wild West period 😂

[@thecanadianfuhrer8602]

it sucks having to summarise garfield's death to people because any description short enough for conversation leaves out so many details. stuff like the doctor's name being Doctor, or the pounds of ground beef stuffed up garfield's asshole. it was an inept surgery even for cavemen, let alone 19th century doctors.

[@t.l.7854]

​@HandsomeLad69 Why is he your pfp of all people?

[@ryuranzou]

This guy's life story is like when you try to mess up as much as possible in a story driven video game.

[@bigghoss762]

It's like when you've already sided with every faction in Fallout 4 so you try to beat the game with level 1 speech and being a complete dick to everyone.

[@Fists91]

Although in fallout 4 being a dick to everyone is the pacifist playthrough

[@melvinmerkelhopper5752]

@@bigghoss762 Or when you try and beat a Fallout game with your intelligence at 1.

[@KlaxontheImpailr]

The player must be Graystillplays

[@lasigna0212]

Like doing a genocide in Undertale

[@WhaleManMan]

He didnt even kill the guy who actually insulted him.

[@sarafontanini7051]

obviously it was garfield's fault always and forever

[@thecloaker7962]

That's like my friend tbagging a high rank in a game and then him wiping _me_ for my friend's actions.

[@medexamtoolscom]

President Garfield's Secretary of State: leave me alone you poopybutt! Guiteau: Curse you Garfieeeeelllllddddd!!!! A pity he didn't live for another 130ish years. Then he could have put the blame squarely where it belonged: On Obama. Thanks Obama. It was all your fault, all along.

[@michaelhaggart9858]

@@dontreadmydescription4473 ok I wont

[@OtakuUnitedStudio]

@@sarafontanini7051 It wasn't about who was at fault, it was about what would make him historically memorable.

[@dercarrot991]

Fun fact: Charles Guiteau’s case was one of the first times a lawyer tried to plead insanity for their client.

[@Gilhelmi]

1880's asylums were really bad. The courts had mercy on the guy by giving him the death penalty. This is not a joke by the way. Death was more merciful in those days.

[@markuslemerise5812]

snazzy

[@esquilo_atomico]

@@Gilhelmi lol

[@WickedTester176]

The trail of the century.

[@collinbensinger7640]

@@dontreadmydescription4473 ok

[@katsarida]

A lot of this makes sense once you realize that two major symptoms of late stage syphilis are insanity and personality disturbances.

[@FirePuncher183]

Ohh

[@IoEstasCedonta]

So how do you explain everything before that?

[@katsarida]

@@IoEstasCedonta he wasn’t really a lunatic before that, he was just kind of a dick.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

​@@IoEstasCedontaFUCKIG stupidity and possible slightly insanity

[@SirSaladAss]

​@@IoEstasCedontaHe was just a silly little guy

[@sunflowerstandard4596]

I completely forgot this was about a presidential assassination like 6 minutes in

[@asylumskp4391]

I was too interested and immersed in the free love mechanic

[@abandonedchannel8821]

lel

[@MilloSpiegel]

Somewhere along the way i forget it wasn't just about the man withe the worst life

[@chaabraaah5823]

@@abandonedchannel8821 I read this as a fancy lol

[@greendude2616]

That happened before

[@saigudi7396]

Charles didn’t even kill Garfield. The doctors killed him with their incompetence making a 3 inch wound expand into a infected 20 inch wound

[@Glory2Snowstar]

The Medic would be proud.

[@saigudi7396]

Christian Flaherty: Sequel Edition tf2 reference?

[@puffnisse]

@@saigudi7396 Of course it was.

[@oz_jones]

He actually said so in his trial, the madlad

[@saigudi7396]

Dr.Barrel nice.

[@s1nnocense]

Not gonna lie, the letter to his brother was a sick burn.

[@Jeffreydefinitelynotdahmer]

Like straight savage

[@Sek11250]

Ikr

[@chadcuckproducer1037]

$7 was a lot of money back then. Especially to send in the mail.

[@elbinopaper4629]

The dumbass should have gotten a job to be fair

[@celuta5515]

@@chadcuckproducer1037 no not really 7 bucks was only 100 dollars

[@isc8900]

fun fact: Abraham Lincoln's son, Robert Todd Lincoln, who was the Secretary of War at the time, was next to Garfield during the assasination. also, he once almost died from being crushed by a train car when Edwin Booth, John Wilkes Booth's brother, saved him, while traveling with his friend, John T. Ford.

[@babyyodafan6943]

No one cares

[@maxmajcher5115]

History is full of insane coincidences like this and I always love hearing about it

[@TheHutchy01]

He was also nearby when McKinley got iced as well. He is said to have refused a later presidential invitation with the comment, "No, I'm not going, and they'd better not ask me, because there is a certain fatality about presidential functions when I am present." Although, that wasn't a firm policy, there's quite a nice picture of him, Chief Justice (and former President) Taft and President Harding at the opening of the Lincoln Memorial.

[@jonathanielpringlemaniii]

that's wild

[@jonathanielpringlemaniii]

@@babyyodafan6943i do

[@DEAD_ACCOUNT0000]

Fun fact: while Garfield was still alive after the shooting, they recruited Alexander Graham Bell to help, after he had offered to test his prototype of an X-ray machine by finding the bullets lodged in the President’s body. Unfortunately, this was the 1800s when people put those horrible metal spring coil things in their mattresses, including Garfield’s bed, meaning the machine just buzzed constantly no matter where Bell tried it. Bell never forgave himself for the incident and gave up on perfecting the X-ray, thus delaying its development for a couple of decades.

[@OtakuUnitedStudio]

Holy crap that's incredible.

[@belo9083]

that’s definitely a fun fact

[@lilbill7385]

I know about that from one of those who was books

[@DEAD_ACCOUNT0000]

@@lilbill7385 ?

[@lilbill7385]

@@DEAD_ACCOUNT0000 what do you mean

[@Czar_Moss]

imagine going to a hanging and the victim starts reading his fanfiction about himself

[@josem.925]

I think you mean convect

[@zebimicio5204]

@@josem.925 I think you meant convict

[@josem.925]

@@zebimicio5204 fuck got out spelled

[@GamesFromSpace]

I mean, wouldn't that make it better? If they start reading their personal fanfiction, you know they deserve what's happening next.

[@kyle.s6646]

@@josem.925 Fuck, got out spelled.

[@WeavyBoo]

7:15 this letter is absolute gold and I'm sad no one is mentioning it

[@Poggle566]

Thank you for making me read that.

[@xray7908]

Bwah ha, you're right! Especially the search-and-replace incident that ends up changing "grant him the presidency" to "garfield him the presidency."

[@YeOldeKamikaze]

wait shit

[@Colinop]

@@YeOldeKamikaze Guiteau

[@gavin3915]

I love it

[@imtired9395]

I kinda wish Garfield just gave him what he wanted. His escapades as an ambassador to another country would be utterly priceless

[@maarekstele2998]

Honestly he'd probably start a war with france

[@concept8192]

​@@maarekstele2998wouldn't we all...

[@excarnator]

@@concept8192 What's your problem with France?

[@thesquiddler]

@excarnator They’re French 😡

[@tristanabalos4126]

I never get tired of seeing old characters get recycled into the background of these videos.

[@mastermindcow6210]

Expanding the lore of the Sam O'Nella universe.

[@samuelmatheson9655]

It's genuinely funny

[@lucyschraff4893]

It’s the highlight of the videos not gonna lie

[@geekdivaherself]

The Hatman!

[@calebrose740]

It's like they're all time travellers or something

[@beepboop4103]

I love how the guy literally killed the President for fame, and ended up forgotten

[@OtakuUnitedStudio]

How is he forgotten? There's a nearly 12 minute video about him right here! /s

[@mellowasiam]

I'd say that's on par with the rest of his life. Trying to be perfectionist, but failing hard at it.

[@bluishwolf]

@@OtakuUnitedStudio Plus he got a major role in a Sondheim musical.

[@BubbyBold]

I just got done watching the video and already forgot his name

[@excitedcat9517]

@@OtakuUnitedStudio Fair point but we’re all really here for Sam Not this sad man who’s name I’ve just forgotten lol

[@zenith7014]

"He killed garfield" Me: that bastard john arbuckle, he finally did it

[@squidwardo7074]

im sorry jon i died

[@glitterglue5537]

Bullets don't work, Jon

[@AreosOriginal]

You have killed me Jon clever jon....

[@katcano4474]

The fun is just beginning, Jon.

[@why-hf6gc]

sayonara Garfield san

[@ianxanthar7038]

I know I’m super late on this cuz I just got into Sam’s videos but the other assisination was probably president McKinley by Leon Czolgosz. (Just as a disclaimer I got all my info on Wikipedia which “isn’t a credible source” but sue me) - was a polish American born in may 1873 - mom died at 10 during child birth - became a factory worker at 17 - economic hardships pushed him to Catholic Church - went to live with dad on a big farm - did fuck all to help with maintaining farm - fought with step mom about religion - left his dad to become a recluse - became a socialist - then became an anarchist - found out about an assassination on an Italian leader - thought “that’s not a half bad idea, this’ll solve all of my economic problems and help the country. I’m such a noble guy” - went to the pan American exposition in Buffalo ny (my home town :) ) in 1901 - bought a pistol - just walked up to the president and shot him twice (first shot ricocheted off his jacket button and second was non fatal gut shot) - just like Garfield they examined the president and expedited the infection - Leon was tried days after the president died - defense tried to claim insanity but it was denied because he put so much work into making sure the pistol worked and was properly concealed during the assassination. They said no insane man would commit murder in such a public place knowing that they would be caught - convicted of first degree murder - had two visits before getting the electric chair; first his father Fudzinski and Father Hickey went to see him but was refused twice before being let to him. They brought being a clergy man early in the day who pleaded with him for 45 min to repent but he refused. - the other was with his brother and brother in law who asked him why he did it to which he said “No one. Nobody had anything to do with it but me." They didn’t think this was like him and it’s not how he was raised so they asked if he wanted the preacher to come back. When asked he said "No, damn them. Don't send them here again. I don't want them," and "Don't you have any praying over me when I am dead. I don't want it. I don't want any of their damned religion." - was sent to the chair where his last words were “I killed the President because he was the enemy of the good people - the good working people. I am not sorry for my crime. I am sorry I could not see my father." (Presumably talking about his biological father idk how these two “fathers” were related to him but it’s probably some fucky Wikipedia shit) - got three shocks and died - brothers were at execution and wanted to take the body but were deterred because the people performing the execution said “the crowd wouldn’t let them leave the building with the body or else they would get mobbed and hav ethe body stolen presumably to be horribly defiled Mussolini style - the authorities autopsied him and found that he was super unhealthy and had gross STD warts on his junk - they planned to burry him in the prison but wanted to decompose the body quickly so nobody could dig him up and worship him - the authorities looked at him body and was like “hey this quicklime stuff works great at decomposing flesh (as seen with this piece of meat we tested it in earlier) and we’re legally allowed to use as much of it as we want but you know what is even better at dissolving stuff? Sulfuric acid. So they dumped a vat of acid on him horribly disfiguring his corpse and after 12 hours was completely melted. They then burned his cloths and called it a day. - after his death an anarchist writer was accused of helping the assassination but was let go to insufficient evidence - she wrote saying that McKinley was a “President of money kings and trust magnates” in an article called “ The Tragedy of Buffalo” but it was tossed aside because the whole anarchist movement was tarnished by Leon’s actions - Leon was “buried” in Cayuga county NY in an unmarked grave with only writing being “Fort Hill Remains" I doubt anybody actually read through all that but it was a fun way to add what I can to the void that is KZbin comments (on a video that’s 2+ years old (I don’t want to check exactly cuz then I’d have to delete this mini thesis)). Thanks to whoever got this far and if you want to read more about it there’s a horribly boring book I had to read in highschool about all this called “Devil in the White City” which is split between H.H. Holmes’s story (the actual interesting part of the book) and the American exposition which leads into Leon’s story. Alright now time to work on finals shit :))))))))))))))))))) (I want to die) Edit (“literally” 20 seconds after posting) I probably didn’t get all the information and probably got shit wrong. If I willfully wanted to spread misinformation I’d go back to before Twitter blue was canceled. I did the best a half hour of reading could do.

[@ianxanthar7038]

Also I really wish Sam would’ve done this one too and I can’t do it justice in the way he can but hey, now you know the other one

[@roachFarmer757]

Yea u got it mostly right. Doubt Sam will do a video on it cause it's not very wacky/funny and mostly just kind of sad for everyone involved. Wouldn't really make a good Sam O'Nella type of video

[@ayrtonpavot3096]

nice comment

[@LeviForWaifu]

Thanks for the post lad

[@rafaelfigfigueiredo2988]

Ty for posting this. Idc about missed or misinformation, I literally won't talk to anyone about this even in context but yeah was fun to read thanks

[@jennehweet5930]

Kills man to become famous. *The presidential assassination that nobody talks about.

[@joseonswag9258]

Jenneh Weet mission failed we'll get em next time

[@Mr.Obongo]

/cue Seinfeld theme

[@prizmcmyk3363]

Until today

[@kirby7294]

Now, what about McKinley?

[@p_omato]

😂

[@Micah_777]

Fun fact: president Garfield could write Greek in one hand and Latin in the other hand at the same time

[@gonfreecss8753]

He'll take a potato chip... AND EAT IT!

[@jeremyphillips3087]

I heard the same about jefferson i wonder if that's true or just an urban legend.

[@mckaleighwatson3942]

@@jeremyphillips3087 Even if it's fake he's still an eccentric scientist with a child murdering sheep. This man needs to make a Thomas Jefferson video.

[@frog3262]

“Child murdering sheep”

[@asylumskp4391]

How did we get this information?

[@skyty0]

I wrote a thesis on president Garfield a few years ago. His entire rise to fame is fucking wild. Here are a few highlights: - He never wanted to be president, ever. - He was a general in the civil war and was ready to retire, when Lincoln urged him over several months to become a member of congress in the house - He was ready to retire when a spot in the senate opened up, and almost every republican in the house and senate pushed for him to take the spot - After a few years, he was ready to retire as a senator, and was attending one of his last RNCs when he won the primary out of fucking nowhere. He did not run for president, nor was he interested. No one at the RNC liked either candidate, so some of them got together and decided to vote for Garfield, probably as a joke - When Garfield won the nomination, he was quoted as feeling "sickened and shocked," and did NOTHING to promote himself - Despite doing NOTHING, he won the presidential election a few months later - During his inauguration, he basically said the equivalent of "I never wanted to be president ever, not even once." Garfield's entire political career is fucking bonkers. The strangest part is that he was actually an incredibly well liked president during his short tenure, against all odds. I highly recommend anyone who's interested in him to do more research on him.

[@abbieb8130]

That's a marvelous bit of background. Thanks for sharing. Intelligent people have said that the people most qualified to be president have no desire to be president.

[@kauffner]

As a U.S. senator from Ohio, Garfield gave speeches on behalf of Secretary of the Treasury John Sherman. Ohio was a must-win state, then as now. The delegates liked the speeches so much that they nominated Garfield instead of Sherman.

[@secretlythreeducksinamansu3546]

The people who should have power are the ones who do not want it.

[@jackofsometrades6727]

@@secretlythreeducksinamansu3546 I disagree. Plenty of people who don't want power shouldn't have it either. It's people who desire ultimate power that ultimately should not have it.

[@TheWorkshop298]

Garfield:I don't wanna be president. God: President it is then.

[@thecactussword4304]

Charles Giteau is a man who somehow failed every sidequest possible.

[@waldothewalrus294]

The reverse Timothy Dexter

[@soren6625]

He attended my high school. . . Wonder why he isn't on the board of notable alumni. . .

[@picax8398]

Oof

[@Thedog-1-]

@Paul Martin wat

[@leighbelk769]

@@Thedog-1- He ain’t wrong.

[@cortex8239]

@@Thedog-1- Read idiot

[@Thedog-1-]

@@cortex8239 "read idiot" I've heard better insults in kindie

[@safir2241]

“But the video ended up being way too long” Why is this bad? We love you so much sam

[@elchun9661]

It's bad because it's been like 3 weeks since last video

[@Sandul666]

@@froggyfan but Kreal is worth the wait lol!

[@floweringwallpaper5994]

He'll make more money w two ten minutes vids than one twenty, not persecuting him for that, he totally deserves it and I'm glad he's doing enough to keep the videos coming

[@chudwick6516]

He uplpads so rarely that i would prefer longer vids

[@The_Horizon]

I mean at least he got some college student to make an edgy animation about him like 100 years later

[@alexanderthomas1869]

He also got his own song in a Broadway musical. "Come all ye Christians And learn from a sinner: Charlie Guiteau Bound and determined He'd wind up a winner Charlie had dreams That he wouldn't let go Said, 'Nothing to it I want it, I'll do it I'm Charles J. Guiteau.' Charlie Guiteau Never said 'Never' Or heard the word 'No.' Faced with disaster His heart would beat faster His smile would just grow..."

[@java6177]

Bro why are you here

[@rouriepollard6099]

@Леха Федотов s i r w h a t

[@theentirestateofalaska.4983]

Who are you?

[@thatlad9431]

I was gonna like, but I gotta keep it at 420 likes

[@connormcmurphy4276]

The note that he writes for Garfield after he steals the election from grant….is some of the best comedy writing I have ever seen. It’s genius and I remember the first time reading it and just DYING

[@victorlolxd7347]

“We can do nothing but Garfield him the election” lives rent free in my head! 🤣

[@CatMilkCheeseSticks]

Omg where did you read it ?

[@AidanDaGreat]

@@CatMilkCheeseSticks around 7:13

[@mahophacatee5453]

*Garfield actually dies on a Monday* We really be out here living in a simulation

[@TheAlmightyJello]

@Brandon Clarke President Garfield actually died on Monday, September 19 1881.

[@luigifan001]

@Brandon Clarke Garfield (thr cat) hates monday

[@steveboy3712]

Thats probably why garfield hates mondays

[@olbradley]

*Just like the simulations...*

[@Dgero]

@@steveboy3712 is Garfield a reincarnated Garfield

[@creamcannon825]

Garfield should have just let Charles be the informer of deer, jeez.

[@melvinmerkelhopper5752]

Ha! I understood that reference!

[@commissaryarrick9939]

Ha! Me too

[@colonelkaleb7061]

Ha! Me as well!

[@lemonsmug]

Ha! amazing reference that i got! hee hee, hoo hoo, funn-E

[@creamcannon825]

@@lemonsmug yes. Very funn-E

[@Chaotic_Club]

Should’ve just given him the role of informer of deer

[@SophiaAstatine]

Truly, you hold wisdom and insight.

[@noahgrooms4792]

Cherry earrings

[@jojobod]

Did you just screenshot a discord pfp for your KZbin pfp?

[@SophiaAstatine]

@@jojobod Recycling is good, even if there's smarter ways to go about it

[@evose1238]

@@jojobod at least he screenshotted a pfp that was pretty good

[@ibuprofentabs]

I wonder why I got recommended this on such a peculiar point in time as an American

[@StinkyDumpsterRat]

oh boy oh boy oh boy i sure do wonder why

[@shinydewott]

Also, the bulletwound in Garfield’s back was not fatal at all, but the doctors kept poking the hole over and over to find the bullet, and they opened a 12 inch long hole in his back in the wrong direction. When it got infected, the doctors thought the pus that formed around was a signed of healing and they started to cut into the wound and make it larger to stick a hose and suck the pus out. Though the hose also sucked out parts of his rib too! They also decided to not give him food and instead feed him rectally for the second half of the “treatment”. The infection got so bad one side of his face was completely paralyzed

[@Cardinalt]

*GARFIELD GOT SHOT??*

[@putraramadhan8604]

Fucking hell

[@nossta5242]

That's literal torture wtf.

[@robertortiz-wilson1588]

I know they were greatly limited by the knowledge and medical practices of their time, but I always thought the doctors working on Garfield we're exceptionally horrible at their jobs even by the standards of the time. He would have been a fantastic president too. A great man lost.

[@thekraemer1757]

Alexander Graham Bell was called in to use an invention of his to try and find the rounds. Didn't ring true though.

[@maxtyler8993]

We forget the during his trial, Guiteau's lawyer was his brother-in-law, who was doing the service for no charge. Guiteau insisted on defending himself though. On top of that, his lawyer and his family got a bunch of doctors to say that Guiteau was insane (which he clearly was) but Guiteau verbally objected and made mad attempts to say he wasn't.

[@reikatheglaceon4426]

I'll fuckin do it again

[@XXStrong1]

Anxiety And Dissapointment I'd like to think that Guiteau's trial went something similar to the Goofy's Trial skit.

[@aidanmuller3358]

I'm surprised his family cared that much

[@maxtyler8993]

@@aidanmuller3358 his sister still cared for him.

[@yeasstt]

To be fair, the insanity defense is awful. Insane asylums are far worse than maximum security prisons. At least in prison you can see people and move, and you aren't put on meds to make you incapable of thought.

[@swaggerdagger8976]

Fun Fact: The gun was given to Smithsonian Institute, and ironically they lost it a little later

[@arizonagreenbee]

How....how does one lose a gun???

[@KosherPorky]

@@arizonagreenbee Ask the government.. they lose nukes all the time

[@superleipoman]

@@KosherPorky oopsie woopsie

[@Houshalter]

@@arizonagreenbee presumably stolen

[@JazzyJazzzzzzzzzz]

It appears that my firearm has indistinguishably disappeared from my property

[@mutantmaster1]

Syphilis can emerge later after it "disappears" as neruo-spyphilis, which can lead to brain damage. So while it might not have MADE him batshit insane, it certainly didn't help

[@mattharvey-ingram3521]

"If the duck don't spit, you must acquit" -Sam O'Nella 2019

[@georgewilson7432]

No, it's Verbum Dominum.

[@singerbutch194]

Quak

[@ArcChristelle]

*The Bible

[@hairdryermanson6955]

Quack quack

[@AardvarkProductionsZach]

O' Nella 69:420

[@Skye_At_Home]

This is why good mental health and parenting are extremely important.

[@Dead25m]

It would make society less interesting though :(

[@mississippiball1003]

Yep

[@_.Leo_.]

@@Dead25m Go to Florida. Its full of..... Interesting

[@Dead25m]

@@_.Leo_. Fair enough.

[@johnsalchichon777]

Some example?

[@SprunkCovers]

"Minister of Chile" Damn, as a Chilean, that could have been so damn insane, awesome

[@tecnicovtr1311]

La media volaita

[@MrDelightfulsong]

Wena choro!

[@Ro321chile]

Encuentro super bkn encontrar más Chilenos en este canal jajajajaj

[@Renge401]

Sabía que no era el único chileno que mira a este hueon. Es un genio. Saludos desde Temuco.

[@pitbullfan1483]

@@Ro321chile si jajaja y el otro wn que le volaron la cabeza y se vino a trabajar aqui en otro video del wn

[@cyberlegend7623]

I’m rewatching this video for no particular reason on July 13, 2024

[@CallOfGamer2012]

me as well. here by pure coincidence

[@Brain-dead-gamer]

Jag är har för. Intressant, ja?

[@LunaTheMoonWitch]

​@@Brain-dead-gamerVa?

[@adamified]

Hi from the 27th

[@LunaTheMoonWitch]

@@cyberlegend7623 28th.

[@luvisgone48]

“Only came with one down side, syphilis, whoops”

[@alike03]

He didn't die from it. Soo, win I guess...

[@digital107-_-]

Common mistake really

[@theproplady]

I'll bet no one noticed that he'd come down with syphilis, since he acted no crazier than he did before he contracted it.

[@TB__-]

Petition for Sam to make a video about the other one.

[@FunkInTheTrunk]

One day something will happen...

[@watermelon1680]

Just have to wait...

[@ffaalyx3104]

No

[@FunkInTheTrunk]

..... we’ll just have to see

[@taymak3995]

still waiting...

[@kodakgreen6047]

I have a set of silverware that has "oneida community" engraved on the underside from my great grandma...

[@joeygreen8091]

kodak green you serious that’s nuts

[@renteisensei1441]

Ur profile pic Lol

[@leafung8445]

That's because the Oneida silverware company is what the Oneida commune eventually turned into

[@papasscooperiaworker3649]

Kodak you better run

[@littlemeap7418]

@@leafung8445 Big brain moment

[@Derah_OG]

KZbin sure chose a funny time to put this video on my recommended feed.

[@eckmann88]

“Dear Garfield, I wrote you, but you still ain’t callin’.”

[@d3runb3kannt33]

:D

[@atiyasaha1768]

Hats off to ye, me man

[@Parker55ful]

Seán Patrick Eckmann I left my telegraph and postal address on the bottom

[@alguienconunvideojuego4606]

I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em

[@billyb6664]

Stan reference if you don't get it. Give it a listen

[@BurritoFan1]

"Charles J Gitout" Damn, even 19th century people were savages

[@PinkRuschi]

This whole story is savage

[@sneezingsuspense]

Ouch

[@ananousous]

The art of roasting has been passed down through generations

[@samirraza9069]

Imo people back then were way better at roasting and were classy AF while doing it.

[@jundavinchi8591]

Have you guys seen the viral video of the cart going in circles without anybody in it? kzbin.info/www/bejne/fZfScq2dj7SJgNU

[@AlisterTate]

“What is the capital of Michigan?” *”...M?”*

[@eeveemcthing2639]

Lansing

[@marcuslaffey1637]

@@eeveemcthing2639 wait, really?

[@eeveemcthing2639]

@@marcuslaffey1637 yes

[@m5d1e]

eevee mc thing it's not lansingichigan for a reason... M is correct

[@eeveemcthing2639]

@@m5d1e no its the capital of Michigan and dont woosh me

[@rachelschloesser7438]

I first learned about this from the book “The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons”. It gave a lot of insight on what was going on with his brain, as well as numerous other historical stories told from a neurological point of view. I definitely recommend!

[@ReggieBauer]

i read up on Guiteau on this year’s anniversary of Garfield’s death, and one thing Sam left out that i thought was hilarious was that Guiteau was planning on running for president himself in 1884 after this whole silly trial thing blew over! but obviously, the justice system had other plans...

[@user-zv7yb4yp9g]

Reggie Bauer i’d vote for him. he seems like a cool dude

[@An_Ian]

Still a better canadit than Trump

[@dickmeatbootysack2165]

z ⸒ yeah, I mean, he supposedly have neurosyphillis but that’s fine. Although he’s believed to have been perfectly sane when he assassinated Garfield

[@Devinblox726]

z ⸒ Same, so much ambition

[@An_Ian]

@Juan Cortez Muro Go away just leave your kind aren't welcome hear your advertising your tiny channel under a comment you didn't type for a video you didn't make. STOP PLZ whilst you still have the illusion of dignity

[@cosmicklutz1675]

"If the dick dont spit, you must acquit" "Holding in the ol' pelvic sneeze" I'm dead lmaooo

[@Rovertimes]

Cosmic Klutz hahahahaha

[@TomAndersonn]

I never heard of anyone ever using these phrases before.. I have no idea how he comes up with such deadpan humor ctfu

[@n0yn0y]

@Cosmic Klutz father?

[@cosmicklutz1675]

@@n0yn0y O_o My 395th child...

[@wrdoro]

“They’d even have the middle aged woman train teen boys In the art of holding in the pelvic sneeze” excuse me what

[@mikewiz3059]

O

[@tlshortyshorty5810]

Ara ara

[@vidblogger12]

Fun fact, Benjamin Franklin wrote to a male acquaintance that he should bang older women instead of younger ones. “...in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these: 1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable. 2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman. 3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience. 4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes. 5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement. 6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy. 7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy. 8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!”

[@loquita-lostwave]

by teen i think they mean 18-19 year olds and not underage folks.

[@eikosimino5579]

oniicha-

[@adeptusdripstartes]

Fun fact: The other assassin Sam mentioned was Leon Czolgosz, who assassinated president William McKinley

[@alfalldoot6715]

Yeah, but he was just some boring anarchist.

[@alexanderdiaz434]

@@alfalldoot6715 he was pretty funny too actually, terminally down bad for emma goldman and clapped mckinley with a dirty rag and a handgun

[@arratikli7497]

@@alexanderdiaz434 also his middle name was just "F.". Just the letter F, didn't stand for anything. he was so socially awkward that his fellow anarchists accused him of being a spy in one of their newspapers, and prison guards disfigured his body with acid. id say hes wacky in his own way.

[@julianneupert5747]

Fun fact: Guiteau's brain was preserved because physicians at the time believed that insanity and crime were something genetic. Parts of his brain are still intact and now in a museum.

[@RabbiHerschel]

On average, they are.

[@ShadesMF]

@@RabbiHerschel not sure about crime, but yeah insanity may kind of genetic

[@RabbiHerschel]

@@ShadesMF Considering that delinquency and criminality are linked to a particular intelligence range of about 80-90 IQ and various personality traits (low empathy, low impulse control, high time-preference) and all of those are to some degree hereditable, it is a reasonable inference that criminal tendencies are hereditary. It's difficult to find reliable research on the subject, of course, because the hypothesis violates the social mores and pseudoreligious beliefs of modern academia, but it's a reasonable inference nevertheless.

[@ShadesMF]

@@RabbiHerschel makes sense, i think the biggest thing on a person being a criminal is the conditions and influences they grow with But yeah it could be somewhat related to genetics

[@gregorysweet867]

Tasty

[@SatyrToon]

One of my favorite aspects of this story is this: The gun that Charles used to kill Garfield - the one he picked SPECIFICALLY to look good in a museum - WAS donated to the Smithsonian; however, the gun was later LOST by the Smithsonian and its location is still unknown to this day. The only thing that went the way Charles wanted it to was actual act of killing Garfield. Nothing else worked out.

[@honestlygl_tchy3046]

Hell even then, killing Garfield would not have worked out if the doctors were competent enough to save him.

[@screamindog8772]

and the thing is he’s not even the one who was mostly at fault for killing garfield

[@darkness74185]

If Garfield didn't even receive any medical attention and was just wheelchaired back to his house he probably would've lived through the rest of his term too

[@Resi1ience]

This is the only case where I pity both the assassin and the victim. Both of them got fucked.

[@SatyrToon]

​@@teamgeist3328"Lost" is usually what they say if they have no explicit evidence of theft, even if that's more likely.

[@jspyce1848]

you didn't mention my favorite detail about the assassination: even though there had already been one very consequential presidential assassination, presidential security was so incompetent that Guiteau was able to get close enough to Garfield to kill him by just putting a cloth over the pistol and walking up to him.

[@jspyce1848]

i recently realized that i was wrong about this, it was actually Leon Czolgosz who assassinated president William McKinley by putting a cloth over his pistol. which means that it's even stupider because McKinley was assassinated 20 years after Garfield so there had been 2 presidential assassinations and they still just let some idiot with a cloth over his hand in the shape of a pistol walk up to the president.

[@beeno9004]

youre thinking of leon czolgosz, preisdent mckinley's assassin. which honestly makes it funnier because at that point there were TWO successful presidential assassinations and security qas STILL shit

[@snozer6966]

@@beeno9004 Guess three presidents needed to die before they decided security needed to be upped. They had a pretty good run until JFK, and then there was that moment with Reagan but after that… seems like the secret service has had their shit together….

[@greywolf7577]

Security is still that bad for US Senators, though. I went to an event where the US Senator was talking to people in the crowd and the only security was about 300 feet away. It would have been incredibly easy for someone to sneak in a gun and kill the senator.

[@that_1filipinofriend838]

Assassinating the President, huh? That does sound familiar.... Wouldn't you agree, Johnny?

[@omegacolossus]

Fun fact: The revolver that was used by Guiteau was lost around the early 20th century. Photographs of the image do exist, as they were taken by the Smithsonian. Guiteau wanting to be remembered in the museum will never be true now.

[@bingingwithbabush1604]

"50 dollars anything you want baby." Charles Guiteau: "Could you testify in court after?"

[@j.j.plagiarisms7149]

50 dollars is too expensive for the time

[@cjthebeesknees]

That’s absorbent price, hows about 40$.. baby?

[@DariaHoelzel]

Still asking myself why he didn't pay her just for a false testimony. Could have saved him some trouble.

[@king-zahi2438]

unparalleled rizz

[@disbeafakename167]

​@CJ Clark that price does suck!

[@NotimetoVero]

If Onision was born in the 1800's.

[@chickenlord9873]

Yessssss

[@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967]

Who?

[@arrolace]

Cedar Franklin, don’t look him up

[@ManMan-qc1bh]

Bringing back old drama

[@ManMan-qc1bh]

Lol

[@freshbread4039]

"Burn in hell, beige dog." -Garfield

[@ulto6000]

I can’t stop laughing hahaahhahaahha

[@thunkernoodle9967]

Lmao

[@connor658thepagan8]

lazanya

[@doorwaysniffer5254]

apalsnerg wtf that was 2016

[@keithhancock9710]

@@apalsnerg ok but why

[@kotyrollins]

Fun fact, While working as a banquet Server for Kingsmill Resort in 2016, I delivered food to John Hinkley Jr. The guy who shot Regan. I always win that round of two truths and a lie.

[@AffyMoon]

I'd thank him if I were you lol

[@vulpes7079]

Did you thank him for his service or cuss him out for failing?

[@concept8192]

He's not in prison or anything???

[@kotyrollins]

@@concept8192 he was sent to a mental asylum for quite a long time and then released to his mother, who was living at Kingsmill Resort at the time.

[@bendeguzkocsis2692]

@@concept8192nah hes trying to have a music career and venues tragically cancel his shows upon finding out he shot Reagan, mistreatment of a hero if you ask me

[@wofi784]

The irony is that William McKinley’s assassination could be said to be less talked about now that you didn’t include it in this video

[@cpegg5840]

And the assassin, Leon Czolgosz, got to sit in Old Sparky

[@kishascape]

@Paul Martin yeah what a joke channel. Could've told us the actual name of other one so we could research it ourselves. So much for a proclaimed "intellectual" and educational channel.

[@exsa914]

@@kishascape if you can’t come across it on your own and research it by yourself, then that’s a you problem

[@lukeallen5714]

To be fair, Leon Czolgosz is not nearly as interesting as Giteau

[@nassyl1]

@@lukeallen5714 That's some professional level humble spoon-feeding. You must run an orphanage or something.

[@martif565]

“What’s the Capital of Michigan?” “M” He’s technically not wrong though. 1:08

[@ToxicSkull0]

Outstanding move

[@xxCreeperPLxx]

This is actually genius.

[@alexandrub8786]

I don't get it.

[@xxCreeperPLxx]

@Jeffrey Colten Same

[@MrAledro84]

@@alexandrub8786 capital M

[@sam-kk5do]

i love how sam takes like 2 minutes explaining the cult and is like “yeah they kicked him out” and left it there.

[@joannamyers1268]

Yeah, I totally would too. In reading about Garfield's assassination from a separate source, the cult is one of the most fascinating aspects. It's insane

[@arandomuser9459]

Joanna Myers Do you know if it’s still active? I mean I wouldn’t assume it to be I’m just curious.

[@joannamyers1268]

@@arandomuser9459 I don't think so, though the part that makes plates is still intact.

[@arandomuser9459]

Joanna Myers Interesting. Thanks

[@reanetsemoleleki8219]

That cult deserves a spin-off video.

[@Jayshiver]

Fun fact: Garfield is the only US president to contribute anything original to mathematics. When he was a senator, he made an entirely original proof of the Pythagorean Theorem

[@AidanDaGreat]

cool!

[@andrewgust-anderson5612]

SAM WE"RE STILL WAITING FOR THE OTHER ASSASSIN

[@nroke1684]

Ayumi Gust-Anderson still waiting.

[@filip3180]

Nroke1 probably agent-47

[@moved9162]

Sstttiiilll waiting

[@gropgrop]

He will come soon

[@bumkinanimations2671]

It's probably Leon Czolgosz

[@OwlyFisher]

"the assassination nobody talks about" **talks about it** that would now be a lie, wouldn't it SAM

[@Tsukiko.97]

My name is nobody, I talk about the assassination all the time. Sam is telling the truth kids!

[@umgansosoisso2384]

Sam is a liar confirmed

[@OwlyFisher]

@@Tsukiko.97 _you cheated the system, what a madlad_

[@masterjbt]

aw shucks

[@llspidel]

😌 not true

[@doofuslaw]

“His national infamy” *Nobody proceeds to talk about him for the rest of U.S. history*

[@fuckoff5893]

Ayden Emge god is a funny guy

[@Axel1711-c6h]

Less complex method than the murderer of Her Highness Empress Charlotte of Austria who hanged himself after a jailer burned his secret autobiography.

[@jundavinchi8591]

Have you guys seen that trending funny video of that cart that was going in circles meanwhile nobody was in it? kzbin.info/www/bejne/fZfScq2dj7SJgNU

[@the_yeetgod5885]

0:10 gotta be the best intro on this channel 😭

[@spugoge915]

“Shoot your Jizz and out you is” -The Bible probably

[@jjnn2]

I mean, there's a section where you can't change the Bible, apart from translations, so if you get rid of that part, then you can make your own holy book of NotchristianityIswear

[@r.i.pchannelisdead2404]

@@jjnn2 so ur saying I'd e get rid of something in the Bible we put our own words in it...hell yes

[@tarico4436]

Not that I'm a fan, cuz I'm not, but that book mentions "onanism," and how it's not to be done.

[@tarico4436]

Not that I'm a fan, cuz I'm not, but that book does mention "onanism," and how it's not to be done.

[@kerryn6714]

I know a bible verse that is close! Ezekiel 23:20: "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses". This is real! 😂😂😂

[@johnnyspoop3582]

“Pelvic sneeze” is an incredible euphemism

[@Manglet762]

Pelvic Sneeze is a common disease, but Due to COVID it's an even nore frequent disease many people suffer from now.

[@WildBluntHickok]

Personally I prefer the euphemism "going number three"

[@brovid-19]

@@WildBluntHickok nah going number 3 is when you pee and poop at the same time. what's even more astounding is that *no one has ever gone number 2* . when's the last time you ever took a dump without also peeing?

[@AnalyticalMenace]

@@brovid-19 I went number 4 the other day.

[@DESARD12]

@@brovid-19 like, yesterday

[@diegovane5827]

“He killed Garfield” Oh no not the fat orange cat

[@PP-ky2ji]

No bitch niggas No snitch niggas And no bitch ass twitch niggas

[@ahardworker2154]

Am sorry john

[@specsamhain_909]

Lol Jon is sad 😂👌

[@tinkaraazb9383]

U 2?

[@tinkaraazb9383]

@@PP-ky2ji so lezer beam memo K

[@jadekathleen9250]

8:30 this 20 second impression of garfield is better than the entire garfield movie with Chris Pratt

[@joshuabunch689]

Interestingly enough, the ivory gripped gun that Guiteau picked "because it would look good in museum" was actually lost by the Smithsonian. Its current whereabouts are unknown.

[@ryanboggs8685]

Yeah, somebody stole it

[@jango7889]

@@ryanboggs8685 i stole it

[@বদমাইশব্যাটা]

@@jango7889 give it back cat

[@besquareorbethere8093]

I guess it looked too cool to not be stolen.

[@holasoyalejandro9822]

@@jango7889 wtf, give it back

[@caolan2319]

"because he thought it would look cooler" i mean was he wrong?

[@TheEsdaniel]

Engravings, they give you no tactical advantage whatsoever, but that was some pretty good shooting

[@canaldecasta]

@@TheEsdaniel he was played like a damn fiddle his whole life

[@bootylicker32]

Caolan I’m your 666th like

[@bird2034]

Sam, you madlad, you uploaded again thanks love your stuff mate

[@felipesouza6050]

Yeah this comment will be famous and I will be on top

[@mboz_2108]

This comment will be famous and I will also be on top

[@t4ky0n]

Felipe Souza yeah this comment will be famous and I’ll be almost at the top of it.

[@Bushwhackerdk]

@@t4ky0n top of it i will be

[@calebabadioru5539]

This comment will be top and I will be in it

[@binterwinterboyii1095]

I actually saw an episode of American Dad about Garfield and Guiteau and half wondered if the latter was real (he's portrayed as a raving bearded lunatic and described as a "bloodhound" by the show) and if so, half wondered if he was really that insane Yes, the answer is very clearly yes

[@jespernygardberg9063]

"What is the capital of Michigan" "M"

[@evanginter4462]

No, no, hes got a point

[@antthegord9411]

@@evanginter4462 indeed, technically not wrong.

[@BrettonFerguson]

Apparently there is a city called Ann *Harbor* in Michigan.

[@tips4truckers252]

Technically

[@theason8026]

You just made my day Sir good day to you

[@g_gamer3160]

This feels like a walkthrough of bitlife.

[@auhsojacosta1672]

The only game where slapping a random person can get the entire military to hunt you around the country

[@anthonygoldstein2584]

underatted comment

[@g_gamer3160]

@@anthonygoldstein2584 Thank you friend, I appreciate having any likes :).

[@Evannnnnnnn2]

True

[@anthonygoldstein2584]

@@g_gamer3160 np dude

[@Lny_Forner]

“My mom’s dead lol” Imagine being a teacher and one of your students wrote that as an answer

[@samueloconner1482]

Jalen is this you!

[@vc9491]

@@samueloconner1482...

[@digitalartemis333]

I want to like this but it’s at 666 and I don’t want to ruin it

[@samueloconner1482]

Aryana what is it?

[@Blarnix]

Hits different today

[@Ata.TeaGargler]

"Well, when your devotion to God has failed, there's only one path left. Time to be a lawyer" Ah yes, devotion to the Devil himself.

[@onyxsavior7179]

DAD?!

[@Ata.TeaGargler]

@@onyxsavior7179 umm.. what?

[@onyxsavior7179]

Ata That sounds like a joke my dad would say lol

[@Ata.TeaGargler]

@@onyxsavior7179 oh damn, bless that man.

[@onyxsavior7179]

Ata Yeah!

[@andyrihn1]

Supposedly one reason the doctors were digging around so much in Garfield’s body was because Thomas Edison had just invented a prototype metal detector to find the bullet but didn’t account for the the metal springs in the mattress he was laying on

[@6Six6Six6Bruh]

Yep

[@tomfooler9398]

it was Graham Bell you stupid fuck

[@bernebelmont1857]

Edison killed Garfield

[@6Six6Six6Bruh]

Defective Factoid Bot edison was a bastard

[@4569packers]

That bastard. And here I thought Edison was the man to get us into this century.

[@Boredandscrolling]

Bruh this man was perhaps one of the rare times an insanity verdict should've been thrown down. He was like an 1800s Onision or Dennis Reynolds.

[@MrSeekerOfPeace]

Yup. Doctors believe he had mild psychosis at the very least. Causing hallucinations and delusional thought. This could be a symptom of advanced Syphilis

[@rynemcgriffin1752]

Yeah but I’d argue Gutieu is at least entertaining to watch, unlike Onision, although to be fair if the internet existed back then he probably would have just been another onision

[@paolovallejo8022]

the golden god

[@brian2685]

I think my favorite part is that Guiteau bought the ivory pistol “so it would look better in a museum” but the Smithsonian promptly lost it anyway lol

[@melonie_peppers]

He was such a loser, no one ever cared about him in any century

[@brightfluorescent2158]

Guiteau is one of the most interesting characters in the Sondheim musical Assassins, which is about everyone who ever attempted or succeeded in assassinating a U.S president. Guiteau is framed as comic relief the entire show, but then he’s one of four who actually succeeded. His song, “The Ballad of Guiteau,” has this both creepy and optimistic vibe at the same time, and if you’re into American history and/or theater I really suggest you check it out!

[@TheAlexSchmidt]

Almost everyone, Sondheim left out the would-be assassins of Jackson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Truman. Although it's still a neat musical. Now that John Hinckley's out of the asylum and posting songs to KZbin I wonder what he thinks of the songs Sondheim wrote for him? Although I feel like to avoid legal trouble he probably shouldn't bring it up.

[@zrwilson6074]

I learned about the musical through this comment, so glad I did. I never imagined that I'd like musicals. My favourite song is probably Ballad of Czolgosz, quick and succinct yet so catchy.

[@possums154]

that's why i'm here actually

[@connormcmurphy4276]

Wow that sounds kinda cool. I’m gonna check it out

[@patria3023]

@@possums154eyyy that’s why I’m here too! Come all ye Christians and learn from a sinner…

[@pungoblin9377]

“The only down side was syphilis *W H O O P S* ”

[@soapylunar2018]

*w H o O p S*

[@1.4142]

Getting syphilis is super easy, barely an inconvenience.

[@carlosmarte3154]

Kevin Luo Well yeah, today I guess lol.

[@nervozaur]

@@carlosmarte3154 Look up Ryan George on youtube.

[@carlosmarte3154]

Mihai-Ciprian Ghilinta I don’t think I got the joke if it was one...just scrolled through 75 videos of nothing related to syphilis.

[@pastaroni8683]

“A nice christian lady under 30 years old” is the 19th century equivalent to “18-22 year old boyfriend free girl”

[@dirtegarbage]

Im disappointed I know where thats from

[@SincerelyYoursAK74]

True and honest

[@olliegoria]

you just had to bring him up, didnt you

[@dirtegarbage]

“Autistic sputtering” I will hunt you down you damn dirty trolls! This is war! “Shitty apache holler”

[@benjiusofficial]

Oooh, Chris reference. Classic

[@Bretzel81]

Well, seems a perfect time to revisit this video

[@kubahavlicek1933]

Everybody: Cumshot Sam O'Nella: Pelvic sneeze.

[@dairyoo]

Lmao pretty much 🤣🤣

[@TheCorrodedMan]

Brings to mind the image of a cock wiggling around making sneezing noises while some guy thrusts his hips all over the place.

[@lillliebugg]

@@TheCorrodedMan hAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

[@acls1239]

@@dairyoo you know how I pronounce that word la Mayo so the way I read that it kind of forced me to be confused

[@paulc83]

@@TheCorrodedMan similar thought, my friend

[@societysmostambiguousgirlb1495]

“He convinced himself that it was now gods will to remove Garfield from this mortal plane” Me too

[@Sunny-yw8pt]

Which Garfield?

[@raspberrycrowns9494]

Hey man I know he wasn't the best Spiderman but there's no need to kill him

[@MLJ5834]

i’m sorry jon

[@np8139]

That was me after learning about Garfield Eats.

[@duckboiii4441]

They kind of did that if you see the depressing Garfield without Garfield comics

[@EntireTeamIsSpy]

"What is the capital of Michigan?" *"M"* What a chad.

[@yeildishere]

I think this story shows that abusive parents truly make a wild animal out of someone and that is what happened in this story and honestly a bit sad knowing a man who could do good was raised by an over religious abuser in his childhood and sadly molded him into the person he was but the things he did were not good and just bad or bizzare

[@soapsatellite]

This is a common thing with a lot of the most fucked up people in history: Abusive parents

[@13vatra]

I don't know, his brother tried to get him to be a functioning member of society. His sister bailed him out of jail and gave him a place to stay. They likely had the same childhood as him and didn't turn out like him. Some people just go off the deep end no matter what.

[@digimonlover1632]

@@13vatraI’m sorry but that really doesn’t negate anything he said. People are going to be affected differently and be at different levels of adjustment when it comes to abuse even if it is by the same person(and even then we don’t even know if his alive siblings were abused). The point being made here is that he probably wouldn’t have turned out the way he did if he wasn’t abused. Obviously that doesn’t justify the things that he did but my point still stands.

[@13vatra]

@@digimonlover1632 a lot of people turn out awful even with perfect childhoods. So it's hard to say.

[@alfalldoot6715]

At what point do we just go "yeah, this is your fault. "?

[@piggy201]

This guy just commited to a life-long chaotic evil larp.

[@nonomen6665]

"Okay, what's the worst possible decision I can make in this situation?"

[@laurocoman]

@@nonomen6665 "My family actually cares for me and will give me money and shelter... I'll send them letters telling them to fuck off and attack them with an axe!"

[@Sportx38]

@@laurocoman lol

[@dnsylvestre]

"It would be irresponsible, frankly, to do anything but -grant- Garfield him the presidency" Incredible.

[@ankorwatt5637]

Garfield has been and always will be my favourite verb.

[@instantnoob]

Like how at some point they renamed mages to wizards in dnd and control f replaced all instances of the word leading to some editions of the rules saying some attacks and effects dealt "dawizard" instead of damage

[@sam08g16]

Guiteau: man I really like that British actor Hugh Garfield

[@moriahlicious]

I like how child Charles has a beard.

[@Zwhsnduiwmsnxjsl]

As you do

[@comedyshortsgamer1486]

What you don’t

[@raspberrycrowns9494]

Imagine not having a beard when you were a child

[@101Volts]

@@comedyshortsgamer1486 I don't, and I'm 28. The beardliness has eluded me, or have I eluded it? ... For years have I wanted a beard, and all I get are patches of stubble...

[@marcowulliampopirers2216]

Wtf how i didn't notice

[@nabbly]

You missed the part where they couldn't send his body back to his family because they were too poor to afford a funeral so the state decided to bury him in the jailhouse courtyard, but not before giving him an autopsy. During this autopsy it was discovered that Guiteau had a condition which made him unable to retract his foreskin. Its believed that this was the cause to all his insane actions lol

[@Rick--ng9bp]

Lmfao

[@jacaredosvudu1638]

So... phimosis?

[@radiojerk512]

A debt collector who dodged debts and went around thinking everyone owed him something, how ironic.

[@lukesumberg9182]

“S(he) lied” “He (Killed Garfield)”

[@flo1140]

But-but- bullets don't work!

[@CatHerder327]

S lied He

[@moelestor8829]

no one: 14 year old girls: ;(

[@QueerAndHunger]

😭😭😭😭😭 not Garfielddddd he's my favorite cartoon cattt- oh wait you didn't mean the lasagna loving feline? Then who the fuq did you mean!?

[@AwesomeYena]

Sliedhe

[@julia-nt8ll]

"What is the capital of Michigan?' "M"

[@evvrsince]

Lollll ijust got it

[@julia-nt8ll]

@@evvrsince lol

[@julia-nt8ll]

@@Whatareyoudoinnhere i love this comment

[@z0wehh]

@ALEX HUANG r/wooosh

[@Avocado7765]

ALEX HUANG everybody knows that it’s a J O K E

[@dilloncrowe1018]

Everyone keeps going on about their wish to see the "President Assassins 2: He Killed McKinley Boogaloo". But I on the contrary, would love to see a video going over all the attempted assassinations on U.S. Presidents. From Richard Lawrence, the man who tried to assassinate Andrew Jackson and literally thought he was the King Of England, to John Hinckley, the man who shot and tried to kill Ronald Reagan to try and impress a movie actress.