Dismissive Avoidant: How to Lead a Healthier and Happier Life!

[@zzulm]

1. Hear yourself and start speaking up 2. Connect with your feelings 3. Don't isolate, do something meaningful for you with someone at least once a week. 4. Practice being vulnerable, share a feeling with someone. 5. Learn to compromise. Practice energy exchange. 6. Remember you are safe. Notice what you have, repeat to yourself that you are safe.

[@bendemare5270]

Good luck and support to all my homies tryna switch to secure attachmement here. We can do it (I guess).

[@matthias66]

Thais, I just want to say this video was awesome, and as an Avoidant-Dismissive, with a pessimistic view of people, relationships, and other things, your words made so much sense to me. I felt a strong sense of peace, because I thought "This lady understands- she gets it. She gets that people like me have disconnected our emotions from ourselves, because we don't want to be vulnerable and be hurt again by the rejection of others." This video touched me on an emotionally level, because I am so used to separating my emotions from situations. Something just "clicked" with this video, Thank you so much for this video!

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

I’m a DA with psoriatic arthritis- I’m CONVINCED that emotional repression and stress led to this. I desperately want to change and am so grateful for your channel.

[@cadilac949]

Right when I heard Don’t isolate I was like “Whaaaaat the hell am I suppose to do!?” These are definitely challenging, but I okay, slowly, but surely I’ll get there.

[@deeet365]

If I wasn't a D.A I would be in tears right now as I realize how screwed up i am emotionally and mentally and how I've made it worst on myself throughout time. Miss Gibson thank you for taking this profession you are a blessing indeed. The world needs more people like you. You and all your hard work and knowledge are appreciated.

[@ShesSoCoolLike]

God your channel is so good, there's so much damage in my behaviour patterns from emotional neglect and trauma experiences I had as a child. I never realised until listening to some of your videos just how deeply they shaped my thought patterns and behaviour. When you have to act in certain ways , shut off from feelings, and build your defences in order to survive as a child, taking them down as an adult feels like the WORST idea in the world. And yet its so vital we try and do it

[@condwiramurstally]

7:00 that's a very good observation. Just today I read a bachelor thesis about attachment and there was stated that DAs tend to suffer from alexithymia - not being able to express emotions which can lead to expressing emotions literally throught physical pain or other somatic symptoms.

[@CkyBby]

You are the only person I have found on YT who gives me hope that being a DA can be healed. Thank you ❤

[@razvanyke]

Compromise? What sorcery is that? It is very hard, I agree with that.

[@slamdam5508]

Me watching this as I'm self isolating from a partner after a fight: "Oooh good stuff. Uh huh, I can try that." Her: "Don't isolate." Me: "Alright, too far." lol but no, seriously great video thank you!

[@bildungspersian7115]

I think this was one of the most helpful things I’ve seen on dismissive avoidant attachment style. Among books and videos I’ve looked through, this is the only one that made sense to me and attempted a deeper understanding of the psychology. For the record I “self-diagnosed” myself with this attachment style and do have some issues with health that are probably partly related. Definitely also catastrophize and have trouble speaking up too (as an empath I don’t like to let people down because it hurts me). Well done Thais Gibson~

[@Vanessa-zm2hj]

Info starts at 2:35

[@Nolllag]

You’re really motivating. Really helped me understand me. This was a push after finishing therapy.

[@KayWeezy]

Ms. Gibson. Thank you for this video. It gives me hope. I recently found out I am dismissive avoidant. It really wounded the person I love and care for. The hardest part for me has been that I had absolutely no idea I was being that way. I always felt like something was different but didn't know what as I've had this dismissive avoidant thinking for as long as I remember. The awareness of what's going on with the extreme desire to show up and work on it has me feeling more (which has been really uncomfortable), but that's what I have always wanted. Subconsciously, I had just been sabotaging myself and that has been embarrassing and upsetting. Now it's time to keep doing the work towards becoming secure. Thank you

[@marisawood1285]

I am DA and have been watching you for the past several months of quarantine. My younger brother had a very high emotional input requirement as a child, so I think that is how I learned to emotionally fend for myself and become so independent. I feel like I am feeling emotions for the first time now though! It is certainly very scary for me to feel and express my emotions, but often it is rewarding and worth the small hassle over all. My partner now is AA and studying psychology. He initially introduced me to your channel at the start of the coronavirus pandemic time. I am incredibly greatfull I have discovered your channel. (I am hoping to take a course or two too once things are more stable for me). Your advice and wisdom has allowed me to finally address some unresolved feelings for someone I had pushed into the friend zone for nearly 2 years, though we had clear chemistry. As soon as I did, and let down my guard and put my blind faith/trust in LOL, our relationship progressed exponentially (entirely online while quarantining in separate countries) and we are now committed and planning to move in together when all this is over. So again, really appreciate what you are doing here and I hope to maybe work with you in the future. -Marisa

[@793lefty]

You're out here changing lives! My life. Thank you so much.

[@Snazjazz17]

i’m scared to tell myself i’m safe because then my guard will get let down and then what if i’m not safe? i’m scared to brainwash myself into feeling safe when that’s just not the case. i don’t want to lie to myself. but this video also makes me feel like i’m being over dramatic and it’s okay, BUT WHAT IF ITS NOT?

[@CosmicHealingGoddess]

You’re absolutely incredible! So eloquent, knowledgeable and and powerful when you deliver these messages. Great information and insight, as always 👏🏻🙌🏻 You are on your way to healing humanity as a whole as ppl learn to discover their deeply rooted subconscious limitations that are currently preventing them from living their lives to their fullest potential. It’s so sad that so many ppl go their entire lives without truly understanding their limitations and always questioning ... “why me?” “What have I done to deserve this?” “Why is God/ universe punishing me?” I’ve been there! Asking these questions and falling victim to my circumstances! Now I know the reason for this and I have you to thank Thais! You are a magnificent person and deserve a Nobel prize in this field! I adore you and your teachings 🙏🏻♥️ you’re changing lives everyday! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😘♥️😘♥️

[@paula817]

Well, Thank YOU!! I’ve actually shared a few of your videos with my daughter’s father who is a Dismissive avoidant. We separated almost a year ago (babygirl is 1.5 yrs old) but have remained cordial in an effort to effectively co-parent. He’s very resistant to self awareness, but I do believe that deep down inside he wants to learn, it’s just too difficult for him. Long story short, your videos are so compassionate & empathetic towards the subject that I felt they may be the only ones to actually plant a seed. I am incredibly grateful for your videos & your approach!

[@jasminebenigno-hall1596]

I want to thank you for your videos. I've done two years of therapy and learned more about myself watching your videos than I have in two years.

[@wizetek]

"The body keeps the score"

[@jlosinski]

I have been doing the hard work of understanding my dismissive avoidance after the passing of my wife in 2015- I've come a long way but recently ended a two year relationship (in an emotionally explosive way), and still have a lot of work to do. It's really encouraging to read of others setting up clear boundaries with the dismissive avoidants they are in relationships with. You all deserve all the love and investment you try to share with us.

[@leolady8114]

I am listening to your videos one by one and am astounded and blown away with all the knowledge you have and your presentation! THANK YOU for all you are doing!

[@Zephirus10]

Im so torn. Been in a break up then a casual relationship with somone (same person) who I think is dismissive avoidant. I told them eventually that I care and see a future with her and knew her response would most likely be to isolate and I was right. She pulled away and told me very indirectly that her she knows her heart. I can see all the traits you mention and wish she could open up and see too. But I can't anymore its breaking me and making me even more of an anxious attacher. Can't descide on letting her go or being more patient 😞

[@bmj7957]

Let her go. Life is too short to deal with someone who dismissive and who are relationally selfish. I've been married to a dismissive avoidant women for nearly 17 years and I'm taking steps to gradually transition out of the relationship even though I still care for her and have a lot of empathy for her. Relationships with them are needlessly hard, not rewarding, and they self-sabotage relationships constantly. If you don't have children with this women get out now!

[@Zephirus10]

@@bmj7957 thank you for your advice. Im sorry its been such a journey for you. No children with her but she has a child from a previous marriage who I grew very attached too. I will take steps to detach.

[@bmj7957]

@@Zephirus10, Best thing I can advise is detach before you get too involved. Give her a reason and let her know it is a pragmatic decision (Her being a dismissive avoidant) and there is nothing you can do to change it. The most precious gift we all have is time on this earth and why invest your life with someone who is incapable of meeting your needs despite your best efforts to care for them?

[@Zephirus10]

@@bmj7957 thank you. From her side its already pragmatic. As soon as I said I saw a future with her and wont keep on being her friend with benefits she cut ties. So no need to give her a reason i think. Its me who needs to detach and move on now.

[@alicemungia1642]

I'm in the same boat with my ex boyfriend. I really want to leave him but I feel trapped, frozen and paralyzed.

[@Foothillflow]

I really appreciate these videos. You have such a warm way of conveying the information.

[@amaliaesposito3942]

I want to help my dissmissive avoidant ex progress to a healthier state. He left me. Because I had cried to him about feeling unloved by him. and he felt like he couldnt make me happy and that he was hurting me. But whats sad isn't being left. It's knowing his struggling with feeling loved and like his not enough. I wish I knew how to handle him when I was with him to nuture him and educate him in a gentle way so he can see there is a better way to live than closing off and being alone. And ofc its difficult because I'm going thru my own pain. And he is the most triggering to my attachment style. I just want him to feel loved and happy, but I guess I have to be okay first before I help someone else.

[@aishwaryasinha9613]

Thank you so so much cor creating these videos, it really is helping me navigate through the path of finding myself. I honestly feel so so grateful to have access to these, and yes. You're healing millions of people, please keep going :)

[@tanyawok8]

I'm so glad I found this! I'm like, ok, ok, ok, ok... until the last one and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank you.

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

It’s funny… I don’t compromise. I just bend over and submit because I don’t want to be vulnerable. Unless it’s intimacy related, and then yeah, I just shut down. Ahhhhhhh

[@anber4129]

this is helpful… i might try one or two later this year.

[@dominicphillips5532]

Hey Thais, loving your videos, thank you so much for sharing💚already feel like im transforning just taking this knowledge in. I really want to get some fam members involved so i can afford the courses and we can all be healthier, but nevertheless if they're not invested i should hopefully find a way!

[@Jermonec]

Very informative video. Thank you!

[@sandraritchie6512]

Great work Thais.

[@missmarkle6827]

I am so grateful for you!

[@kayoconey7198]

This is SO helpful, thank you so much for such a practical guide

[@TruthBTold-bh9gt]

How could a dismissive avoidant become a better parent. I'll look and see if you've already addressed this in your other videos. Thank you so much for your time. God bless you always.

[@deedee-es4vg]

Thankyou so much for this!❤️

[@niaraselah]

I need these videos to stop calling me out...

[@thisgirlkarenn]

🤯 She got me

[@queeniez1970]

This is my husband's style. How do I share this information with him without seeming unsafe? Or, do I?

[@febrissima]

I came too late and now the program is sold out :(

[@pyosomemore6383]

The illness... yep, i agree its from some repressed emotion The cancer pt wife story was so sad

[@bendemare5270]

Thanks I'm maybe gonna try it .

[@josefmadrid]

I hope my ex could watch this .