Disturbing Thoughts Functional Alcoholics Don't Like To Admit

It can be difficult to see through the functional alcoholic/addict mask. On the surface, everything looks pretty good, but underneath, there are some very alarming thoughts. In this video, we will go instead the mind of a functional alcoholic/ functional addict.
Chapters/timestamps:
00:00 Disturbing Thoughts Functional Alcoholics Don't Like To Admit
0:30 Recognizing Addiction Beyond Physical Dependency
05:00 Balancing Act, Familial Strain, & the Dangers Within
010:00 Struggles, Anxieties, & Hidden Costs of Addiction
15:00 Thought Process of Functional Alcoholics
20:00 Unraveling the Emotional Maze
25:00 Hidden Desires, Frustrations, & Paths to Recovery
30:00 Resources, Caution, & the Transition from Functional to Non-Functional
35:00 Viewer Q's: 'Dry Addicts' & Cannabis-Induced Psychosis
40:00 Viewer Q's: Unveiling the Facade
45:00 From Substances to Accountability & Recovery
50:00 Stories, Strategies, & Support for Recovery
55:00 Insights on Addressing Addiction & Supporting Change
⚠️These are educational videos, NOT therapy or advice specific to your situation.
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[@PutTheShovelDown]

Watch This Next: Why They Won't Admit They Have A Problem 👉🏻kzbin.info/www/bejne/bGmsdXWIrpuFf5o

[@janedoe6071]

My mom told my brother he’s a functional alcoholic so like it’s okay he drinks to much.Can’t believe she ever told him this!!😡

[@nitinmishra7215]

9

[@umeshthakur2297]

​@@janedoe6071😊

[@umauma5071]

@@janedoe6071to r Y @janedoe6071

[@vishalpatil9420]

❤😅😅😮😢😂🎉❤❤😊😅Aaradhya😅😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😅😅😅🎉🎉😂❤😢😮😢😅😅😅🎉😢❤😂🎉😢😢😮​@@janedoe6071jjjjjllkkuwZz*_,______00084=,,,,,+8as Ɗqw🎉😢🎉🎉😮😢😢😢

[@pandorasboxer]

This describes me perfectly. I worked full time and was at home with my family, but I was going through the motions until I could drink. I also congratulated myself for being able to go periods of time without drinking...while mentally counting the hours until I could drink again. 16 years sober now ❤️

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thank you for your willingness to share that with us. It's so helpful to hear it from someone who's been there.

[@christineyleary1]

I found your channel while desperately searching to understand what my daughter was dealing with. I don't know if she can ever be stronger than the addiction, or will die first like her dad did, but this is the most help I've ever found. Thank you!!! 😭😭😭

[@harlhequim]

This precise topic of functionality in alcoholics is the driving force of the real tragedy about alcoholism and shows that you really know what you are talking about and how important your videos are. The movie Flight, with Danzel Washington, explores this topic in detail and could be very helpful.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

That’s a great movie ✈️

[@michelevonherbulis6618]

Love your content. Have been watching for 2 yrs. You helped me stay clear of this relationship. You both validated what I knew but more importantly I have learned so much.

[@mikeinmelbourne9491]

Thanks Amber - wonderful information and content as usual. This is my ex-partner to a tee... their relationships started to fall apart, and while I have no direct contact I'm after going no contact, but now I'm being contacted by finance companies and other orgs trying to follow up their issues. It tells me that they're moving to "functional" to full on "non-functional". Things are "falling through the cracks". A two to three wine bottle a day habit is not sustainable. I saw all these behaviors' manifest - almost textbook like. Blaming, hiding and seeking out those that enable. "Still pretending" not to be an addict - so true!

[@nattiekay8110]

I realized one day that I was starting to go down that road when I realized my drinking every other day after work turned into a whole week of after work drinking. Like I couldn’t sit at home and not have a drink with me. I have been struggling with anxiety for years and used getting buzzed as a way to cope. It was a kinda scary realization and I’ve seen this kind of behavior end so badly. So I immediately looked up how to tell if I am an alcoholic. One of your videos popped up. I checked a few boxes and it was like a slap in the face. I knew it would only get so much harder if I didn’t take action now. So I poured everything out and told my close friends and family. My husband said he was glad I caught myself before he had to step in. Everyone else was so surprised that I had a problem. And even my husband asked if I could get to a point where I could have a glass of wine a couple nights a week… of course I already know that I will be battling this for the rest of my life. If I allow myself one drink a week, I would be thinking about it allllll week. A waste of thinking time. Anyway, I say all that to say Thankyou for these videos. I watch them to help understand what is going on inside my head. It’s helpful! And as of yesterday I am one week sober! I have so much more energy! Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou!

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Wow! This made my day! You should see the giant smile on my face 😁😁😁. This is my reason for making theses videos. I wan to help people put the shovel down BEFORE they loose everything. . I’m so proud for you! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

[@dindyalpal9955]

क्वेक्क3ē2❤

[@emh8861]

What do you do with your anxiety now ?

[@christinafisher6169]

I had surgery and have not been walking since April 30th. My husband offered me his moms old pain pills and has been pressuring me to drink. He's been digging through my stuff looking for paperwork I told him he took to his house. He admitted he was probally drunk when I gave it to him. I remembered your video about will power. His has already ran out and it's 9:30am. He's been drinking wine in a moderate amount but now he's back drinking lots of beer. He looks at me like he's going to hurt me, he never has but still, what is he thinking? Yes, he is the one taking care of me and it has been very emotionally stressful. I have to keep my mouth shut and pray for holy spirit to maintain self control.

[@ohbeautifulone3578]

Thank you so much for the education on alcoholism. My best friend has surrounded herself with drinkers and defends them. She is not comfortable spending time with me over the years because I do not drink in that way. This all suddenly makes sense to me. The power of alcohol addiction is sad. I was blaming myself!

[@PutTheShovelDown]

It's sad to see someone you care about slip away like that 😓

[@cathie1234]

I busted the situation wide open in our family!! It was affecting a 6 and 9 year old. It backfired on me. They got drilled about what they told me!!! And then the sick family said I was mentally ill and making up stuff. Seriously disturbed.

[@cathie1234]

I’ve learned quite a bit on this site. Very helpful and supportive!!

[@kiransharma7110]

@@PutTheShovelDownो

[@TheValkryie]

14:34. How EXHAUSTING. This helps explain some memory problems these folks have as well.

[@GaneshGanesh-r1h]

14:34 14:34 14:35 14:35 14:35 14:35 14:35 14:36 14:36 14:36 14:36 14:37 14:37

[@keepers7768]

This was incredibly informative Amber. ! I have a couple ‘self proclaimed’ “functional alcoholics” in my inner circle. Thot I had a really good grasp on what they contend with - but there’s just so much more beneath the surface ( mask) Thank you so so much. 💙

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Glad you liked it!!!

[@annowens5970]

This is 100% accurate and how checked out one is when they got their Vice on the brain! Sneaking off daily and lying daily, still holding a decent job, but dropping the ball for nearly every personal commitment

[@LL-cc4ro]

Great analogy between terms “functional alcoholic” and “still pretending”. I’m sure that clicked with many.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

😁😁😁 thanks

[@loiskingcaya7010]

Hiding from the addiction was so much work... my sober life is not perfect but the hampster wheel has slowed down. I love my sober life but it takes time

[@PutTheShovelDown]

💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

[@kimgreerpuchek1140]

Saying that tobacco only affects the person using it, has never spent the time watching the addictive substance disfigure and destroy the body of a loved one. It’s another example that it does indeed show that it affects others. When someone starts to hide their actions, they are aware that something is wrong.

[@gobie238]

Amber, I am wondering about addictive behavior as I can strongly relate to all the points you mentioned, yet I don't do any substances. For me it is obsessive thinking, fear, procrastination, hiding this 'shameful' side of me, emotional eating, etc. Grateful I have found your channel.

[@LL-cc4ro]

I did work with a colleague who was an alcoholic and after many years became sober after a long rehab.. she was waiting to feel better and be happy but her sobriety actually uncovered a deep depression. Lots of co morbidities with ETOH abuse and the person may need to be educated to that as well.

[@drialobosco6108]

Thank you for your videos. Took me a long time to understand what was happening with my ex. He walked out after I “found him out”. It’s been hard but your videos have really helped me understand what was going on. 😢

[@NathalieLavoie-lu4xf]

I am the spouse of and the mother of an alcoholic. And everything you mentioning is so true because as the spouse and mother, I can relate and see how I am addicted to fixing them. I’m addicted to my thoughts that I can fix, control this. I tried to enjoy my life, but there’s always these thoughts in the back of my head about alcoholics. What are they doing, what should I do, who can I talk to, how can I fix this?

[@francescadesarasola800]

Thank you Amber for your insight and advice. My husband has been in ‘stage 3’ denial and bargaining for probably 20 years. I discovered you about 6 months ago and changed my approach. I’m holding boundaries better and ensuring he deals with the consequences of his own behaviour more often. I try to keep on my side of the road. I stopped letting him make me the nagging wife - well sometimes! The change talk started soon after. It’s not been a straight road but he’s been to his first meeting and signed up for Soberlink today. To another point, the other alcoholics in our lives all had significant downturns due to lifestyle changes. His dad and my mum got worse after they retired from work. A friend got worse after he lost his job and split from his wife. They reached stage 4 and died. My husband says there were people in worse places than him when he went to the meeting. He’s using them as examples of what he doesn’t want to happen. When he goes to a place of shame, I remind him how much these departed people were loved in spite of their addiction. And how much he’d have liked them to put the shovel down sooner.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

This comment made my day! Hearing things like this keep me motivated for this work!

[@barrypinkerton5685]

The battle between wanting to get rid of the evidence, and actually doing it and judging when and avoid detection is both fascinating and heart breaking

[@davidcasson5602]

Great video , right on the money. You want some examples ? Functional Alcoholism,,, She would invent tasks in the house that were thirsty work 😂 ,,, Dusting ,glass in 🤚,, cooking , it’s a French dish needs a dash of wine , glass in 🤚,, I need a relaxing bath , candles ,bubbles glass in 🤚 .Why don’t we go to that outdoor event / concert/ race , sit in the sun you can watch while I bring a picnic basket and the wine ,glass in 🤚 . We should go out for Sunday dinner or an evening meal make an afternoon / evening of it , glass in 🤚 .When the mask slips , jumping out of bed as soon as they thought I had fallen asleep and drinking the hidden vodka, jumping up halfway through a film at the cinema, in need of a top up . Developing an odd primitive vocal tone ,, when saying “”I NEED “” which you knew not to step in front of .Going to work only in body , clocking on but not doing anything, but saying Hi to all her colleagues on arrival so they thought all was ok , then disappearing by midday. Continuously binging, I knew ,she no longer hid it from me and she told me to my face she identified with addicts, later she hid it from no one ,, to this day I still see the girls in the local supermarket who remember her wild behaviour, drinking in the car park and going in and out of the store paralytic all day ,shameless? . She told me she had become a character out of the movie Lord of the Rings , the one that lives under a mountain in the dark , and coverts it’s precious ,, not Liv Tyler then ? . A cloud of foreboding forms , as they dance with wolves in the dark . The phone rings at 4 am , “” come and get me “” said in the same primitive vocal tone ,, problem is ,they don’t know where they are . I think this matches with your ,knowledge of this subject Amber ?

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Wow, David... These are spot on 🎯🎯🎯Love these. You made me remember another common one. "don't worry babe, I'll go pick up the food for you". Then they sit at the bar in the restaurant while they wait for the food to be ready.

[@davidcasson5602]

Yes Amber😊,, and on one occasion,, we were out on a Sunday having a light lunch in a wine bar , she’d finished her food and wine ,, looking at her glass “” we need another drink , I’ll go get them , you finish your food “”,, her hand 🖐️ came out . Money 💰 as I was eating I gave her my wallet. 🫤She returned with just 2 glasses of wine ,, but both were XL 🙄325ml= half a bottle in each ,, French 🇫🇷,, Red Total price £28 or 35 USD,,, ouch 🤕. The days special wine off the board on the wall . It’s a trap , now I’m going to have to be their drinking partner for the afternoon. See you next week❤🫶

[@thegoddesswithin8859]

And the masculine equivalent of this would be... mowing the lawn 👋, washing the car, 👋 showering after work, 👋 helping with dinner, 🍷 (cause that's what she drinks), any time mates come over or family - whatever they drink, buy it for them if you have too, 👋 working on your hobby, 👋 painting something, 👋 going out - shower beforehand, 👋 bbqing something, 👋 someones birthday, 👋 anniversary of someones passing, 👋 event with her family, 👋 (until you figure out they don't drink the way you do), after which.... figure out a reason to stay at home and work on something, 👋 sore back, 👋 kid acting out, 👋 you deserve it, 👋 new T.V. needs setting up, 👋 family drama to discuss👋, etc etc etc. I saw all this and more in my last relationship. Basically any day ending in y, between the hours of 11am and 2am a reason could be found. Earlier if it was a special occassion such as Christmas etc. Exhuasting to live. Exhuasting to watch die. Had to walk away. 🚶‍♀️

[@nieszkako]

Thank you so much Amber, this has been so helpful to understand what it's like in a functional alcoholics mind. I felt anxiety, heaviness, and claustrophobia just listening to you describe all these elements. I have a lot more compassion knowing what's going on on the inside. It's been hard not to be resentful at the alcoholic and to not feel like I'm going crazy just looking from the outside. This helps me shift my heart!

[@PutTheShovelDown]

So true nieszkako! It's very hard to have mixed feelings. Feeling resentment and empathy at the same time ☹️

[@tammycockerham7122]

My ex fiancé was the functioning alcoholic, and I told him he didn’t drink all the time, but when we would go out to eat, there was lots of times his mind was right on the drink, menu, talking about the names of the drinks

[@RaviKumar-pp3pr]

hello my dear

[@deviroy9527]

Hubs got suspended from work, they want him to go to rehab to keep his job ... this is the second time but his last chance at work. Has been accepted into a program at the end of the month, meanwhile he has said he's cut back but I still see a large quantity drank. Still hiding it but not taking his campral regularly. Plays the victim big time and is all ego likes to use guilt trips. It's so difficult to be around, I don't know that he has real change talk or is just faking that too.

[@peterlyons8793]

Wow, you have a huge problem to deal with. He's not going to change.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Almost everyone increases their drinking while waiting for rehab. Secret thought...."This might be my last time, better make it a good one"

[@creatorsonthecrest]

Yes, the ego projections, perpetual victim mentality, and guilt tripping is so difficult to be around. Utter exhaustion. I am hoping the best for you in this situation and that he will accept help. You deserve peace no matter what.

[@happyboy420666]

I remember I would take a day off to hang out and drink and I was always paranoid that I didn't get rid of all the cans I left over. I would make multiple trips back to the house cuz of the paranoia. It was a burden to keep it as a secret.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

It really is a ton of work!

[@annowens5970]

But then , what is the solution when you know and they think they’re getting one over on you….. literally. Daily

[@neurodimensions7509]

Amber thank you for this video. My mother has still managed to maintain a functional facade while alcohol dependent. My dad has enabled her by driving her places when she is drunk or even sneak drinking as a passenger. However she is still able to drive herself to and from work without a DUI… YET. She has also not experienced the emotional consequences of having to miss out on social events if she chooses not to drive drunk. My dad has now been pressuring me to provide transportation for my mom when he is occupied with other commitments. I do not want to enable but would feel responsible if my mom got a DUI or into an accident. What boundaries would be appropriate with both my mom and my dad, the enabler, in this situation?

[@MelissaHudson1522]

Oh my gosh, just before you mentioned Do not show the person this video, I was thinking man, I should show him this video! I guess its time for me to look at Invisible Intervention, Thank you so much for this support...priceless.

[@nikirrae8495]

I spent my whole 20s telling myself it was okay to 5-10 drinks everyday because I was still going to work, paying my bills, and felt like I was succeeding. I feel like drugs like alcohol that are legal and normalized will make you think like that. I think those drugs are the most dangerous of all.

[@editsby.avery_]

I’m going on many hours of videos, I will keep looking but I’m still in search of understanding my husband’s drinking. He alway wants to drink on special occasions so I have lots of horrid memories of Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Mardi Gras, weddings. And no matter how many times I’m telling him he can’t, it’s still happening. Then he’s hiding. Then it goes overboard, I have to run away with kids. Then the next year…I’m like remember what happened at Christmas, please don’t drink. And still….it happens. At my wits end trying to understand him. 😢

[@peterlyons8793]

Leave him.

[@vallivergano239]

Run

[@michelecrouse5284]

my husband had creative gardening.....this time it's all in the house.....exhausting for evryone.....

[@ocjane7146]

AA just “confirmed” to my functioning husband that he’s fine… no problem here …. 🤦🏻‍♀️totally backfired!!!

[@Ohhappydaz80]

I was in a relationship with someone who was deep in alcoholism and opiods. They didn't do it at thr same time. Anyways they went from saying I love you and I want you in my life to I care alot about you and finding out they had a gf and bought a house with them. I had 0 idea they had this other person because we were spending 3-5 days a week together and this person was constantly on the phone together. This person was daily use with opiods, wandering the night and night sleeping. Had to have more more more. How was this person able to fool the other person enough to buy a house. They were only together maybe 10 months before this serious step in their relationship and they apparently didn't know about it. This person showed me how bad they were and asking me for help but hid it from the other person. Why wouldn't they show the other person their issues if they chose to stay with them.

[@michelecrouse5284]

morning thank you it's exactly what was happening to us......the mask came of now by cleaning the house we finding small vodka bottles evrywere..... thank you for helping me understand.

[@RaviKumar-pp3pr]

hello my dear

[@neil_down_south]

Im 53 days into sobriety... Never drunk in the morning, never missed a day of work, but relate to everything you said.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Neil, Welcome to our little community. Hope to see you around more 🤗

[@baldersn4474]

Well done mate..

[@baldersn4474]

Its normally learned behaviour from childhood trauma..The person has grown up with a set of coping skills that dont work .

[@ashleyszyszkowskiashspract7153]

I have a friend who tells me that drinking wine all day, everyday, doing dabs several times a day, taking Ativan, vaping delta 9, and snorting aderrall occasionally, but taking it daily, is her medicine and how she can live inside her body. She tries to tell me that due to her back problems she has to do this. She blackouts and acts like a crazy person, but tells me to let her know so she can “adjust her medicine” Is this an excuse she has created to alleviate self pity?

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Sounds like a lot of justifying and rationalizing to me 😮

[@lokilee1731]

It is kinda satisfying finding out i was right all along, just didnt want to belive it. So, i was also in denial. What a vicious cycle for the addict and a spouse/family member...

[@christinafisher6169]

Thought my research was an addiction, but I'm not hiding it. I not hiding my caffeine either. My husband is definitely doing this with alcohol. His recent one is: The groom reserved a room for me so it was okay I got to drunk at the wedding and couldn't drive my car home. Oh I want to send him this video, but I wont.

[@michelecrouse5284]

when they loose it he went crazy for 9 weeks of he'll om exhausted.....

[@stoppingthecycle]

Thank god I didn’t go lower and lose my family, job, freedom. God and AA has saved me

[@PutTheShovelDown]

🙌🏻🙌🏻💪🏻💪🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@ericbruce2909]

So, my thing is, I am fully aware I am an alcoholic. Won't argue it. Everyday I drink 5-15 vodka shots each evening. The last year plus, I've also added in ❄️ daily. So, at a minimum, everyday 8 shots, ❄️, and 4 cigars. I..... recognize my extreme downfall...... But, I have a well paying job that does allows me to support my "crutches". I show up everyday, on time and perform at a very high level. Literally outperform most others. So, my question is.... I've drank off and on the last 25 years, smoked off and on the last 25 years, done ❄️ the last 25 years. Has quit everything multiple times, but the last 1.5 years, all 3 everyday. No denial. Have no friends but don't want them. Easy, friendly temperament that never crosses any lines. It's been accepted. I have 0 desire to paint a picture for anyone. I place 0 blame on anyone outside of me. I personally am aware I am addicted to a few seperate things. But, I just keep on rocking at 99%........ I do beat myself up but do not need redemption. Could care less for internal or others consolation. How does this type of person get "help". The one that does have outside life under control but knows he's an alcoholic but has and continues to manage it for 25 years. Open for advise.

[@secretidentitynetwork6218]

Unfortunately, it may take a health emergency. Had aheart attack last yr. I still drink a couple times a week and smoke a couple cigarettes, but not like I used to (a pint of Beam and two packs of Marlboros a day). Also started walking every day and eating a lot better. Good luck!

[@BobbyBrewers]

I am screwed. It's a real problem. I'm trying to quit. I am so screwed

[@Tatteredangler]

He put the cans at your bedroom because he wants you to know but doesn’t want the confrontation of talking to you face to face.

[@jules5501]

SOOO TRUE - ALL OF IT! unreal.....WOW! Why cant i just quit 😢

[@lucyinthesky5681]

I can relate a 100% to everything you told. That was like a flashback, makes me feeling exhausted only by remembering this time. Thank you so much, that was really helpfull! Makes me see claerly what I never want to go back to.

[@62Skins]

Do alcoholics reach a stage where they don't have the capacity to stop. My wife has been an alcoholic for more than 20 years and I don't know if she has the capacity to give up and whether she wants to. Great channel I am learning so much.

[@marystele1197]

Precious gens and words if wisdom here from Amber.. She has all the angles covered. You will search long and hard to find such great advice A lot to unpack here. So watch this video a ciouple of times to take everything in. Then think about stuff before you act in your iown best interest and those of your Alcoholic loved one. You still have time to get better. This has been written by someone who saw my ex bf die almost a tear ago of later Stage Four Alcoholism. Impossible to help him. With love ❤ A.

[@vallivergano239]

I am so sorry for your loss. Your words are true. I went through the same thing. Lost my fiancé 9 months ago 😢

[@spencerrobinson2261]

Hi Amber, thanks so much for your videos, they are so supportive. My daughter has been smoking weed for 6 years and is trying hard to give it up. However her boyfriend which she lives with has told her that if she leaves him he'll kill himself 🤔 what can I say to her? He's been smoking weed for nine years but is unable to give it up.

[@markehler8710]

Functional alcoholic means you can drink and still get things done with acceptable performance and at times above average than normal, I'll use Edgar Allen Poe as an example. We know it's not healthy but it's an enjoyment when controlled. I know a person who drank way to much coffee daily and he drove his wife into a severe stat of depression. that person was eventually hospitalized with heart failure because of hypertension.

[@baldersn4474]

I dont like the term 'alchocholic' its outdated and as you said its not in the DSM...It puts the blame on the person and not the substance..

[@juliocesarmombiela111]

Love everything about what you said. All true how baffling it is thank you for sharing.

[@TheValkryie]

Viewer suggestion: It would be nice to see these videos broken out into two parts: first 30-min video, Amber's discussion. 2nd 30 min video, the Q & A section. Thank you.

[@RaviKumar-pp3pr]

hello my dear

[@juliocesarmombiela111]

I sent your videos to my friend because I don't want to lose him like alcohol took my wife. I should send him an apology. Your right about pushing it on people. Thank you forever sweetie

[@rhondablacklock6873]

Oh yes...and mine would hide his vodka in water bottles...looked like full bottles of water on the shelf, but it was actually bottles of vodka. Thank you for these videos...so helpful and affirming of the things I'm seeing with my AH.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Oh wow!

[@Skoopyghost]

I was "a functioning" drug addict. It doesn't last forever.

[@StacyLeonhardt]

Thank you for your videos. They're helping ME deal with my husbands drinking. Would you suggest sharing this video with him?

[@user-os5xj7ce4k]

My x was a isolates drinker. No friends . No socialization?

[@phillipwhite4741]

Omg this is the best explanation I’ve ever seen on addiction and I’ve watched 100s of KZbin videos on it . You have a new fan can’t wait to watch your other videos

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Phillip! Welcome to our little community 😁 So glad this video is helpful!

[@Lisa_5591]

This was so good! I can relate!

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thank you!!

[@JesusSaves77799]

I love your channel. Thank you so much for putting out this helpful information, and thank you for speaking out about Cannabis . I think it can be so much more dangerous than people think!! 🙏💖

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thanks. I'm so glad these videos are helpful. I agree with you completely about Cannabis!

[@stephaniehunziker2821]

Thanks so much for taking the time to post all of your videos. I was married to an alcoholic and this really helps to see what was going on. You are a very talented counselor!

[@user-os5xj7ce4k]

Do most functional alcoholics lose everything

[@tondafied]

Wow eye 👁️ opening! Thank you! Also is every human being addicted to SOMETHING? 🤯 like no one is alone?!

[@PutTheShovelDown]

💯💯💯💯You got it!

[@pringles8462]

Thought id have a quick look.ended up watching it till the end.thank you

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hope you enjoyed it!

[@elswamidor]

Spot on, exact description! Day 517 here, by the grace of god.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

That's wonderful! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻⭐⭐⭐

[@pcpc9358]

wow, this is on point this is me and my seltzer water. . am i short stocked, will they have it at the dinner. same addition, different chase. def not a drug tho.

[@sheila4933]

Thank you. Trying to process everything you have shared.

[@RaviKumar-pp3pr]

hello my dear

[@baldersn4474]

A 'friend' of mine , is very successful , has earned loads of money woth his roofing business, owns multpile properties , has a lovely son...He is also extremly toxic, Drinks practically every day , large ammounts , Consumes loads of cocaine with which hes spent thousands amd thousands, he is exteemy toxic , has several DUIS , beaten his partner up numetous times, lost loads of friemds thriugh his toxicity, all he ever talks about is his wealth and tends to look diwn his nose or trues to wind up other people...He misses loads of woek appointments now where he isnt up in the mornings or suffering from the night before..He also loses and disgards items and he starting to look really old now and out of shape...Yet hes is in massive denial and iften judges other people...Im trying to distsnce myself ftom him at the moment which he doesnt like...His upbringing was very treoubled , ie absent father, doninant mother, he often seems quite angety ir arrogant...I wonder Amber you dont tend to touch on upbringing and a persons past much..?

[@kimlarso]

Bc a person has choices 👉we’re not out past unless we choose to be our past👉some people over exercise 👉if something u do whether good/bad is affecting/ effecting your life, relationships 👉it’s an addiction & unhealthy

[@christinebailey1549]

My ex husband keeps coming back, wanting me in his life and swears he will go to counseling and give up alcohol for me. He is nasty when he drinks and as much as I care, I can’t take the cycle of stopping, slipping and telling me I’m crazy when I call out the behavior. I just can’t keep on the hampster wheel. It’s heart breaking over and over. And of course this is all “my” fault

[@creatorsonthecrest]

I’m sorry you are having to deal with this. I feel the exhaustion in your comment and I can relate 100% on the repeated heartbreak and being projected on that you are the problem. All I can say is you deserve a beautiful and peaceful life, to give and receive from that full heart energy that you have naturally. You are not alone in this type of struggle. Wish you the best! 🌹

[@Lucky_Gurl-Luna]

As a person who is an alcoholic you need to keep ur distance or stay away from him bc he needs to heal for himself first. Please focus on yourself and if u have children f focus on them . I wish u the Best But please go with ur gut .❤❤❤

[@ShrimpPerr]

So relatable. We have to cut the cord if it’s unhealthy for us.

[@danhumtsoe5306]

Just now....came across ur vlog.. .am blessed...

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Welcome to our little community, Dan! So glad you're here 💝

[@danhumtsoe5306]

U are a blessing.. ...need ur good advice....

[@dm7831]

Hello Amber, thank you for this video and all the valuable work you are doing! I was wondering if this particular video would be appropriate to send to a loved one who is in very early recovery? I am talking 5 days into abstinence. He's a functional alcoholic - mostly.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

I would ask him if he would like to see it.

[@dtgparker]

I'm only 14 minutes in....she's speaking truth!!!!

[@ashleyvampyre7469]

Yeah cause there lying to themselves! Like I can’t just go out and have 1 drink without wanting 2 or more it just doesn’t work that way

[@RaviKumar-pp3pr]

hello my dear

[@kareenodum1734]

Should you ask them to get a Uber instead of driving home on alcohol. Or is that putting you in the bad guy role? 😢

[@probrickieexclusive]

This presentation is absolutley brilliant and I've gladly shared it...

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Awwwww! Thank you probrickieexclusive! 💓💓😁😁😁🤩

[@user-gf9mf6ty6c]

Thank you Amber, this channel is my lifeline at the moment ❤x

[@Sunny-rh2tv]

Amber, you are of such great help! Thank you, sincerely ❤️

[@user-hj6hl6yc4c]

Amber I have to say to you that your work and this channel are an incredible blessing to me and I believe to other people who love an alcoholic and desperately want and need him/her to stop alcohol. I think the level of scientific, clinical knowledge and understanding that you have been giving is outstanding, like the kind of professional that you are. It has been literally life saving to me. Thank you so much from my heart.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Wow! Thank you so much. This comment has made my day!

[@dbrew2881]

Hi Amber, my beautiful son has spent the last 10 years walking slowly towards this abyss you are talking about. I am terrified for his future but i cant do or say anything that makes any difference. Your videos are helping my husband and I to think about and say things differently. I went through this with my mum and that was very hard as a child. I wish there was an Amber in Australia 🇦🇺 😊

[@peggyhavard1546]

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@sortasurvival5482]

Im an employed alcoholic. Ama.

[@sortasurvival5482]

The son who put the beer cans at the door was probly feeling passive aggressive while drunk and wanted to lash out at the mother as if to blame her.

[@sortasurvival5482]

Real question is, can my willpower use these videos to stop me from hittin the lick before they close tonight?

[@mariamargut7063]

Dios contigo 🙏

[@bhajanchannel8682]

बहुत ही सुंदर 🌿🌿जय श्री राम ♥🕉🕉🙏😭🙏🌿

[@brianbower9190]

You’ve nailed this one Amber

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thanks Brian!

[@skollieopcrimi9900]

Ohmy! The truth hurts!

[@MrMegatherium]

My secret? I am fully functional, and I love it!!!!!!!!!!

[@janedoe6071]

Whoever came up with FUNCTIONAL ALCOHOLIC ANYWAYS?

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Good question!

[@nandadulalbakshi3121]

Important issue.parliament or senate. Alcoholism

[@tammycockerham7122]

You are so spot on

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thanks Tammy!

[@lindamcauley4728]

So well explained ❤ thank you ❤

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Glad you liked it!!

[@indianfood9672]

Very nice sharing 56:12 🎁⌚❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍👍

[@Darshan-ni9ey]

Nice mam.... from India

[@user-dp2jt3cr6d]

Love you thank you

[@user-gb3fv2rc1k]

Without alcohol no life but everything had limit don,t cross your limit for

[@kristi1949]

You are super cool. Love your Vids. And Love your Hair!

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thank you so much, Kristi! 😀😀😀 Welcome to our little community.

[@lindafontanesi501]

Great information !

[@tinkershell1856]

This was phenomenal! So extremely helpful! Makes so much sense now. I had it backwards. Wow, thank you ❤❤❤❤❤

[@PutTheShovelDown]

You're so welcome!

[@user-ye3wy3ep2p]

Great video ❤❤❤ Jewel in UK 🇬🇧

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thank you so much Jewel!

[@bkairconditioner]

Hi

[@VijayLaxmi-kv9qq]

US,,,,i know,,,

[@traceywiles3490]

Functional...the final stage b4 they cannot function...