Do Alpha Women Destroy Marriages?

[@CarolineOwens-s1h]

Did the career thing and now I’m a stay at home mom with my 7 kids and my husband provides. Ten times happier ❤

[@TheSockbottom]

So you wasted everyone's time 😂

[@angelowhite4701]

My wife made more than me but she was never the bread winner. More means nothing if it's to satisfy yourself, period. I was the one paying all the bills and if my wife wanted to help fine if not fine. But if I needed her assistance I expected it. Why? She will and always needed mine in some way. So here is a woman making a lot of request always needing me to assist her in some way and if I needed it she wouldn't assist me? That's not a high value woman that's truely a low value woman. A woman who will not assist to make her family thrive is selfish same as a man who would not. Also what are you teaching the childern about having each others back and being someone loyal and being a person you can count on. My wife never gave me any hardship being a plant worker to her being a big and I mean big coorporate manager. She respected my role, never try to usurp it and let me perform my role freely. She been a stay at home wife over 20 years and like you she is so happy. It's not about bread winning it's about being a family. If money dictates your view about having a family don't have a family. I have never seen any childern say to a single mom we are going to find a new mom because you don't have much money. How devasted and crushed that mom would be that the childern she cherished most, that she fought for day and night just turn on her and leave her with no heart. But that is thd same actions that most women promote and justify with men. Many women behave worse in loyaty and integrity than their own childern.

[@EriPages]

How'd you manage a career with kids? Are all 7 kids yours or did you just do the career thing for like 2 years at 22-24, then went home and had all 7 of your kids?

[@carneliancaryatid]

​@@TheSockbottomIt's not a waste of time to provide a valuable service, even for a short amount of time. Don't be a weenie.

[@carneliancaryatid]

I'm glad you're happier, but it would be unwise to extrapolate the experiences of one person and apply those to the general population. One size does not fit all.

[@teddychalgren]

21 years married. My wife is a stay-at-home mom and I'm on my second career after retiring from the USAF. She respects me, I love her. Great channel, PBD. Thanks for what you do for us.

[@kms2174]

She respects you. You love her. Do you RESPECT her. Men don’t understand THATS a part of why women feel like they need to compete Just an FYI

[@Mark-v1n]

​@@kms2174 any woman demanding respect has daddy issues.

[@steven_2880]

God Bless you and your family.

[@BLE000]

Oh, how I wish.

[@BLE000]

My husband pushes me to work like a man. I hate it, as I want to be in my feminine energy and can’t seem to stay there without great effort due to running a very successful company. Oh well, nothing is perfect.

[@dante340]

When the man is the primary breadwinner, it's called duty & responsibility When a woman is the primary breadwinner, it gets called "marrying down" The proof is in the language lol

[@Ahouston20nyk]

Underrated comment

[@ericjames7819]

And, women have the option to work (or not). That's called "equality".

[@guysumpthin2974]

The problem is the definition of “alpha” , for male or female . Too many people think the alpha is rude ,abusive, angry, hypocritical, and never be questioned (psycho) . Vs being the leader because of talents ,knowledge, Wisdom and competence

[@guysumpthin2974]

Real alpha : kind , happy , ambitious, courageous, generous, Wise , tolerant, strong, knowledgeable, honest (male or female)

[@guysumpthin2974]

Toil vs ambition Anger vs Strength. Lazy vs relaxed. Arrogant vs Wise Contrary vs knowledge People often get these confused

[@jesusfreak2017]

My wife pushed me to lead very early on. I held a lot of feminist ideas but she didn’t want them. She pushed me to become a man and I thank her for it. I’m a much more confident man, husband, and father today because of her!

[@Ap_twsh]

Thats good but hopefully you raise your kids to be upstanding woman or man and not fall into the feminist ideologies.

[@Lifelessons101-23]

This is very genuine and honest 🙏🏼. As a woman, I really would like men to challenge this type of grooming because in all honesty it came from Mom. Mothers should be the first to challenge you and teach you to be a man, and what I see most happen and what isn’t being spoken about, is that I firmly believe mothers aka women are not really in the business of creating quality confident men that can naturally fall into their role. Wife’s should not have to be burdened with that responsibility and it makes me sad for men. If I had a son I wouldn’t want or wish for him to ever be at a disadvantage in that way, instead to feel confident about the husband/ father he will become.

[@masonridgewell8063]

Soy Boy

[@SafeEffective-ls2pl]

@masonridgewell8063 he WAS a soyboy because that's what society pushed him to be

[@jesusfreak2017]

@@masonridgewell8063 I was at the beginning. Not anymore.

[@brianbachmeier34]

Make Masculinity Great Again

[@francikoen]

The Standard English definition of *masculinity* is characteristics common to men. It's too bad that you don't feel masculine. But you certainly have some characteristics common to men.

[@Wired4Life2]

Make Patriarchy Great Again.

[@francikoen]

@@Wired4Life2 Men abandoned their patriarchal *obligations* over a hundred years ago. Women were often burdened with undue responsibilities, when husbands became drunkards, drug abusers, domestic abusers - physical or verbal, gamblers, greedy, selfish, alienators, pornography users, adulterers or criminals. That's why women needed equal economic and political rights to provide for themselves and their children. Every man can make it great to fulfill their patriarchal obligations, again.

[@skeletalremains3860]

So, much for the feminist talking point that they don't make equal pay to men. The problem is that young women have been lied to and told they don't need a man. They now believe they can do anything a man can do and they no longer use critical thinking or have consistent arguments. I love being a wife and mother!

[@damarisacosta5909]

Amen ! 🙏🙏🙏

[@Gogoro7]

I’m a (working) woman and totally agree with you on this, Pat! I don’t get angry at subjects like this one, I open my mind to hear facts! Thank you 😊

[@amaezyng]

❤❤❤❤

[@Fearlessly91]

I don’t understand getting angry even at the nonsense parts. Why can’t people just go “Huh. That’s not true” and move on without getting offended

[@citydogpack]

I run a business in NYC and 90 percent of my customer base are women. Most of them are boss chicks and they are amazing people. They’re kind, generous and competent but they are incredibly mean to the men they’re in relationships with. The worst part is that they can’t even see it.

[@revived2282]

therefore they are NOT kind. if ur kind, you're kind all the way

[@nasarma]

They are probably mean because they are tired. Deep down they probably want to be taken care of.

[@ljones9841]

@@nasarmaor they want the man to be masculine.

[@father5946]

NYC lol

[@MimosaRose]

@@ljones9841then they need to let the man be masculine. Give him the power to lead.

[@map3384]

She absolutely insulted and humiliated her husband in front of hundreds of people. Their boss babe attitude will easily throw their husbands under the bus without a second thought. Once she’s done that the marriage is over.

[@ak-47intelligence75]

It was over a looong time ago, TBH.

[@wayando]

By the time she is saying it out loud, it means it was already going on in her head ... Basically she is on her last thread, then disrespect starts.

[@soroshnaderi7884]

But I blame the husband for letting it happen to begin with

[@cmammen]

That man can do a lot better…. That would be enough for me. I am out.

[@riccocool]

Kevin Samuels

[@hannahmiriam82]

Own a construction business with my husband. This is so true. We try to split up the roles, but when it gets into the gray areas as to who does what, it's tough. My main focus is making sure our home life and office run smoothly and then the job site. His main focus is on the jobsite at 7 every day. He is the face of the company and meets with everyone, I prefer to stay behind the scenes making sure everything runs smoothly. It's been a rough road learning to step back and define our roles more clearly, but feeling overwhelmed with everything forces you to prioritize. Starting a house in the morning with nothing, and leaving with walls built, is an awesome feeling. But not as awesome as sitting down as a family at night, in a clean house, to meal you cooked from scratch, and everyone is calm and relaxed.

[@freedomrings.0007]

All competitions eventually exhaust themselves. Remember this when you choose your spouse.

[@thomasmacon7782]

😊

[@ellalopez7636]

@@thomasmacon7782 Women be aware as well..

[@oluwatosinstephen5529]

Competition implies there MUST be a winner, of which marriage isn't. Marriage is cooperation, team play, role play, etc...the leadership of a man is extreme responsibility and rewarding, without marriage men don't have any need to be responsible to anyone and their life will be simple but not rewarding

[@doyoueatrocks]

Buyer/seller fatigue happens everyday in the stock markets

[@doyoueatrocks]

@@ellalopez7636obviously but did you have to be ‘that girl’

[@AMBG317]

As a woman who has been divorced once and on my second marriage but separated for over 3 years you are 💯 spot on. Had I not come to the conclusion via biblically I would have not been able to resonate or even watch the entire video! They say you can have it all, but that’s according to the world’s standards. The only way to truly have it all is to seek a marriage that honors God. Full stop.

[@jackdeniston6150]

It is NOT the worlds standards. It is only other women. You do it yourselves.

[@ronokkusi]

Now this answers them right

[@LG-py2di]

Married my highschool sweetheart 46 years ago. He was born an alpha male & still is. IF I was an alpha female (never was), there is no way we would be married today. He has worked very hard to provide, loves me & our family dearly. We both prefer for me to be a trad wife. I love being home, taking care of all things domestic & making sure our dwelling/property is our refuge from the chaos from the outside world.

[@HarrisPilton789]

Lucky you.

[@kem3456]

That poor man. Being called out and humiliated by his wife in front of a crowd like that. Women like that shouldn't marry anyone, ever. That's my honest opinion. Thanks for the video PBD, keep it up!

[@ak-47intelligence75]

Well, actually, men shouldn't marry women like that cause men are the choosers , not women .

[@zuibeckpulezon4626]

He's not a poor man. That's his fault

[@zuibeckpulezon4626]

He's the one who proposed

[@Ap_twsh]

Thats 90% of marriages today. 🤣

[@ELChamuco-ug7tf]

The guy is obviously a simp and deserves it. If he wasn’t one she would respect him and not treat him bad.

[@ED-ub8ei]

One of my favorite Bible verses: Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands."

[@Nick_Nightingale]

I love that quote. I heard it from a Pastor's wife

[@lightscameratamara]

Men have no part in it huh? Lol.

[@tektako]

Thats meaningless

[@jesusheals3799]

The author was Solomon. Yes, the same guy who had many women. Don't be silly. That's not prophetic. It's just writing that's not inspired.

[@truthbtold2596]

​@@lightscameratamaraA Godly wife builds her house by supporting and taking care of her husband. She appreciates him for going out making a living and being food to the family. There are definitely men.

[@SalvatoreFerrell]

The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised

[@MichelleJOleary]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I can't live without him, I love him so much. wish I can get him back I can do anything to have him back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@SalvatoreFerrell]

It's always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white

[@MichelleJOleary]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@SalvatoreFerrell]

You won't regret it

[@redthunder7530]

Thank you for your honest and balanced comment. I am disgusted by the ego battles over gender roles in relationships; which more often seem like an attempt to justify one's own choices and failures rather than solving this problem on a larger scale. iI society had the perfect formula for happy coupledom, we would all be living together peacefully by now. Obviously it's still experimental!

[@christopherkenyon7112]

35 years married today. My wife makes more money than I do, but treats me like a husband and wants me to be the man I am. She tells me that she glad to have a masculine man in the relationship. Love and respect regardless of the money is what matters. That matters to your children most all. That teaches them to have that love and respect.

[@ak-47intelligence75]

Simp.

[@zbyteme8332]

You're wife is a gem!! It works because you don't compete with her. And your confident in your masculinity and in her achievements. You are the scarce man that all ladies are looking for. You understand team work.

[@christopherkenyon7112]

@@ak-47intelligence75 elaborate!

[@WebStixx0000]

@@ak-47intelligence75 dumbass

[@pp-bb6jj]

Meh.

[@margueritelamari5481]

I’m a 67 year old woman and I completely agree with you. It’s all me me with young ladies and men as well. No one wants to compromise.

[@Ferien7]

Women don’t want to compromise because they get everything for free in the dating game. When any problem arises, they just move on to the next guy

[@fox1actual]

Well why would men compromise with egotistical selfish women today? Women don’t look out for men, men have to look out for themselves now a days. You can thank your sisters for that.

[@bartholetbay412]

Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@paulinebricks3441]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back

[@bartholetbay412]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?

[@paulinebricks3441]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@bartholetbay412]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@jorunmelvold9038]

@@bartholetbay412 Assalamu alaikum. Please do not listen to her advice, they are likely taking advantage of your vulnerability for money. My best advice would be to seek our ONE true creator, God. You can listen to ‘Quran recitations’, do some research, find a community etc. And I think you might be surprised. You will never be alone anymore if you believe. Think for yourself, never listen blindly or just follow the others around you. They don’t know what is best for you. Only God knows. Most of us don’t really know a lot about life and the universe, people only pretend they do. But find what makes the most sense. Good luck.

[@jaison3905]

I recent lost my job. My wife is scared about our future (me too) but she is not planning to leave me. We will get through this together. That is why we have been married for 30 years.

[@Mazzaaaaman]

My husband has had two long periods of unemployment. It was hard to see him try so hard and not get work. He's very highly qualified and although after a while he started applying for less specialised work he was unsuccessful. When he was first out of work we'd not been together long and I just expected him to find work quickly. Luckily we had no mortgage and I earned plenty to keep us going with my part time job. It does put an enormous strain on the relationship. I was taking care of the home, his children and working. I was coping, but in the end you get fed up of coping. We got back on track and he found work. We had one nice vacation and then continued to live frugally, just in case it happened again. It did - Covid hit. Then there was another long period of unemployment before getting lucky with a project that was very niche. He hope this will job will keep bringing in a moderate, steady income once the initial set up is complete. Good luck with your job search and be kind to each other.

[@gloriasihlis4932]

I believe God will provide for you. Trust in Him.

[@Mazzaaaaman]

@@gloriasihlis4932 Trust in god, but help yourself.

[@jaison3905]

@@gloriasihlis4932 Thank you. I will keep trusting.

[@Poleeze1]

The countdown has begun though.

[@leticiaortiz6434]

I agree with this 100%! I feel in the past 6-7 years or so I been going through this, the work part, making more part, then tried being a stay at home wife, to now trying to be more feminine and put my family first while working and trying to make money. I will say I’m exhausted!!! I just want to be a wife and mother. Forget the career.

[@riccocool]

Did you know him before you married him?

[@toxicwaste920]

Why is nobodys questioning a man if hes a husband, a provider and juggle everything else and have a career? Why women are being questioned all the time if we are mothers with career? Financial independence is important.

[@mrmidwestguy1496]

@@toxicwaste920You sound like you want a divorce

[@fleshvessel6193]

“no more mr nice guy” is essential, it saved my marriage

[@cassidyarbeli]

But it’s expected for her to be “nice” the point is to both be nice and support each other to build a life together not be in competition.

[@travist.7279]

The "Bread Winner" problem started for the working-class, back in the early 80's, when it suddenly took TWO incomes to survive. It really hit the working-class hard in the late 90's, when women were being offered high-paying white-collar jobs, while the blue-collar husbands were facing layoffs, fewer hours, and decreasing wages due to competition from illegal foreign labor. The media love to harp on the so-called, "Wage Gap". But, that study is skewed heavily toward the highly-paid, "professional" realm----all-but-ignoring what is happening in the working class.

[@Ap_twsh]

Thats about the time when corporations started offshoring jobs to china aswell.

[@johnbrown1867]

@@travist.7279 don't leave out the workforce was doubled when women entered. Supply and demand, double the workforce same amount of jobs. Corporations wet dream, bye bye single income households.

[@boxelder9167]

The push for women to be in the workplace was to double the tax base. But you are correct about your observations.

[@selenachan4230]

Wage gap- how many women want to be alaskan fishermen, work on oil rigs? Be a roofer ? Crickets. But they get $ more due to the risk and hazards. Stop bitching. Also, women are horrible at negotiations of salary. That's a skill that needs to be learned. Men are more likely to negotiate for higher salary. Whos😢 to blame? Thats a female problem.

[@zbyteme8332]

Your comment was the most insightful on this board. You hit it on the money. The economy has pushed the roles in new directions and folks weren't able to adapt.

[@TheWavelengthStudios]

This month my high school sweet heart and I are celebrating 10 years (married at 20) we've got 7 amazing kids. She's a Trad wife to the core. Cooks, cleans, reminds me to say my prayers. No cat and mouse bull ship just love. She's what every man should aim to have in their lives!

[@andreeaa7049]

lucky! many men envy you!

[@1VitaminC]

How wonderful to hear! Congratulations young man! So happy for your wealth! 🎉

[@boogheatherriordan1381]

Congratulations to you and your family! We pray God continues to bless y’all

[@nomadic8000]

7 kids brah what do you do for a living. You must make bank with all of them kids.

[@TheWavelengthStudios]

@@nomadic8000 I'm a humble carpenter!

[@mayramaldonado7043]

My husband is a staying-at-home dad and only I work for a salary. Still, he does way more than I ever will be able to do while he is available for our son 24/7. He keeps us safe while running our home like a boss and we never throw money into our son's care/training, contractors, mechanics, etc because he has it all covered. In simple words who brings the money is not exactly the head of the house. He and most men are natural leaders, supporters, and caregivers.

[@artKaye_8]

so happy for you two. this is v rare in today’s society. lucky u two are and your son to have parents like you and your husband. stay blessed.

[@jerihawkins6710]

I’m a mom of 8. Going on 30yrs of marriage! I’d do it all again!! Great message! Loved it PBD. We are tough, we can handle tough conversations, keep it coming. Some people/couples will be set free!

[@Nordic_Sky]

I was married to an eye surgeon. She bossed me around like she did everyone in her office and the OR. Never again.

[@nict5828]

If youre married to an eye surgeon, then your'e not to shabby yourself.

[@DangleSan]

I fear my sister is going to be unable to find a man cuz of this, the worst part is she's a Christian woman and doesn't realize her behavior, shes worked with kids for a decade so she used to an environment of complete control where the kids and parents bend to her will, we get in heated arguments all the time cuz she can't let go outside of work, I'm worried for her

[@the.parks.of.no.return]

They shoe horn them into these big positions, more capable men are pushed aside.

[@Kiwi_Kay1]

SAHM here. My mom is an alpha and treats everyone terribly. She's twice divorced, my older brother overdosed on drugs and I do my best to be a good daughter to her despite her disappointment in me for choosing to be 'just a stay home mom'. BUT, I love my husband and have an excellent relationship with my kids who do well in school and eat well and that's all that matters to me ❤

[@Nordic_Sky]

@@nict5828 I was perfectly happy to be in a 50/50 relationship with her. But I was not OK with being treated as her employee. We made about the same amount of money, BTW.

[@alanakarl2652]

I was married for 14 years to a man who didn’t want to work. We’ve been divorced for 10 years and he still doesn’t. I ran a business that I loved, but what I wanted most was to be a stay at home mother. I resented him staying home with the kids doing the job I wanted while I went out and provided. In the end, I don’t think a marriage can last if a woman doesn’t respect her husband. I am remarried and my husband is the hardest working man I know. Though I have an alpha personality, he cares for me in a way that allows me to be feminine. I absolutely ADORE him and treat him like the king he is. Times may have changed, but women’s natures haven’t. Women want to be taken care of.

[@Antfleezy1111]

We will see how long he last

[@NathanHarrison7]

I agree with 90% of everything he said. In every context of our lives there must be a captain and there must be a first mate. When two people struggle for the same position, there are always going to be problems no matter the environment. What I think most people forget is that both positions rely on the other for success. Our society today has confused gender roles like no other time in human history.

[@firestick4991]

I’m pregnant with my daughter. There isn’t any media I can show her that doesn’t push this boss babe agenda. It all has it! Cartoons, sit coms (if the mom is still around), tv shows, movies, books, etc. We may have to do something like The Village and act like modernity doesn’t exist! 🙄 It’s modern _programming_ that made society what it is today!

[@intextication]

What's the 10% you disagree with.

[@truthtelleranon]

@@firestick4991I think you’re right. And the propaganda and social media exploits women’s weaknesses: proclivity to gossip, show off to the Hive, be controlled and determine their morals by the Consensus of the Hive (e.g being a $lut who sells sex to the highest bidder regardless of past commitment is morally acceptable, etc). I argue it’s just female base nature. the only way civilization works is if we help corral female nature (strong fathers, family units, communities, etc). But we’ve lost the guard rails for young girls. Same is true for men in different ways. Men are hardwired to provide but men now provide for undeserving women who they let use and abuse them. Men also are enslaving themselves to short term gratification. Lots of problems

[@NathanHarrison7]

Namely, that wives and husbands consciously decided to become the type of people he describes in the video. Instead, I believe it happened organically due to the influences of our current society coupled with ones natural personality traits. So in short, this was less peoples deliberate decision, and more of something they fell into. Waking up one day realizing that they’re lost and have no idea how they got there, or how to get out.

[@Smaug185]

Xennial here. 100% agree. One of these inconvenient truths is you can't be everything to everyone.just having this conversation the other day. On "we can do everything men can!" The older generations of women wrote the check that some of us now don't want to cash. Too many women caught in bad situations in the past. I get it. I saw this first hand my mom was breadwinner, it was a cause of a lot of resentment.

[@pp-bb6jj]

Too many women will be caught in bad situations today.

[@poweredbyvoltron]

00😊

[@thekareercoach9090]

Hell ya, Pat. When you addressed building families during the conference I was so stoked. Just another way you have helped me change my life for the better. Grateful for you, my brother!- KS

[@sheiladenison2468]

I think the best marriages is when both man and wife have input and respect each others opinions. Been married 60 years! BEAT THAT PAT!

[@ellalopez7636]

Yes!! That is what I'm talking about! Good luck!!🙏🏼

[@traviswilliamson6260]

I agree!

[@okaycola2]

Yep

[@pp-bb6jj]

Doesn't work anymore.

[@marcmuwanga68]

You say opinion like it's a meaningless word. What if you have very different opinions on something fundamental? That results in serious conflict. You ought to be on the same page on the real stuff. That's the only reason you have been married for 60years. Either that or one of you had to completely compromise on their core beliefs to accommodate the other. Pat is 100% right in what he says.

[@funkymonk542]

I listened to a Louis Farrakhan sermon once and he said something that stuck with me and was true he said ,” if a woman supports you she’ll treat you like her child “. Facts !

[@dshepherd107]

So you want a mommy?

[@funkymonk542]

@@dshepherd107 who said that ?

[@richardcorsillo9819]

@@dshepherd107 what? you didn't understand the point. It was more of a warning, lending support to PBD's statements.

[@stlsteppasteppa1673]

Such good information I love this makes a ton of sense hits at home for sure

[@shikimanamela4210]

@@dshepherd107men are babies underneath all that toughness …because if you’re lucky your women is the only person after your mother with whom you can truly be at peace and let your guard down. Women are nurturers by nature which can be misconceived as “mothering”. The difference lies in the Respect as mentioned in the video.

[@nicollerobinson9609]

The elephant in the room is that many women in this position today, didn't choose it. Why are these men purposely giving up their role??? I left after 16 years because my ex hub abdicated his role as leader/provider and was intent to let me do it all. With 3 kids, someone had to step up, and God blessed me to be able to provide. But it was certainly NOT my choice to be an Alpha. The alternative would have been to let the lights get cut off and shrink in waiting at the expense of my family.

[@EasyDoesIt719]

Still single I see

[@MelissaBeamer-ve3nn]

Yep!!!

[@toddjohnson271]

You don't see the constant battle of society and law against men? Feminism, me too, DEI?

[@Michael-ji5ns]

Decived like Eve...

[@erinluke2913]

You nailed it Pat! Men are to be the Head of the house. When you take that away from a man the house crumbles! Women are to support their husbands. Be their helpmate. Not their enemy! When you love a man, respect him, tell him he is a good man, he will give you the world! However, if you are constantly having to be in control and telling him he is doing everything wrong. Your husband will shut down and let you do everything!

[@nict5828]

And he wont do anything.

[@denasellsKC]

A woman can be an alpha woman however when she's at home and with her spouse she is to be his wife and save the alpha woman for the office and business world only.

[@vickyCA1643]

If more men valued the woman being the keeper of the home and family, more women would be willing to stay home.

[@Barbara-te7xz]

​@@vickyCA1643too bad the affordability thing is be coming a reality

[@rgn87654]

Those low, low standards are why this doesn't happen. If you show me respect and tell me I'm a good man, I will not be giving you the world. This is why you aren't respected. No girl deserves or should be given the world.

[@bestthingsinceslicedrice]

Biggest thing people forgot is that money or material things isnt everything. What makes you happy is your relationship with other people mainly your spouse

[@maryrankin9869]

Money helps but it is not everything, Kindness and respect go along way.

[@bellaclyde]

Most marriages end up in divorce due to infidelity or/and money problems

[@Meg-ky6sc]

I loved this video. My husband and I have been married for 22 years. We were high school sweet hearts. He is a strong smart and honorable man. I am so grateful to walk through life with him. He is the leader of our family and does an amazing job. If women were honest with them selves, they need a man to lead and protect. So they can be free to love and nurture.

[@jasmineosinski521]

I think making it work is about self-awareness. Videos like this help me stay aware of our dynamics being affected by our own human nature. We're a 50-50 income household, and I watch a lot of content like this to keep myself from saying the wrong thing or becoming unconsciously disrespectful. Thanks for your perspective. It's very helpful.

[@KS-ur8nj]

You’re a smart and aware woman

[@michaelw.8260]

As an old school, Alpha male I could not be married to an Alpha woman. I see my friends that are married to alpha women and they have to give in so many times. I couldn't give up my man card like that.

[@DangleSan]

See it all the time, I'm 36 I know i don't make enough money to command respect from a woman in a relationship so i don't even bother Aside from a couple lady friends I go on dates with once or twice a month, My buddies all think I'm too picky but I see the concessions they make in their relationshipsAnd I'm not envious, I have one friend that our relationship has to be regulated to just phone calls cause he could never put his foot down and tell his girlfriend to be on time so after a couple occasions where I wasted my time trying to meet up with them I just gave up, One time he was 2 hours late to his own birthday me his sister and his friend's just sitting around waiting

[@shikimanamela4210]

There’s nothing wrong with compromise as long as both sides are committed to it. Don’t use being an alpha male as an excuse for your women not to have a voice in your relationship. If it’s just cooking,cleaning, doing everything you say while staying silent is what you want then hire a maid. It’s cheaper.

[@Lanchik127]

@@shikimanamela4210 men use this excuse of being an alpha, bc women make their own money now and don’t have to hear or stand this BS so they have their feathers ruffled pretending it’s the feminist ideology that ruined their misogynistic dreams

[@truthtelleranon]

@@shikimanamela4210Nope. Real men don’t compromise. They make decisions, set boundaries and dish out consequences. They *choose* to consider their woman’s opinion, they don’t let a woman decide whether or not he can make the final decision on any given matter. And women love this

[@lelamaciolek1166]

Isn’t considering the same as compromising? The husband may want to go skiing but the wife has morning sickness, so he compromises his plans and they go later, right?

[@stephanienunez2498]

This is 💯 accurate. We’ve been bamboozled into the feminist boss babe movement. Most women want a man that’s a leader.

[@creativereality4212]

I think the issue here is not so much women can’t be leaders and spouses, but rather, you have to turn off the workplace behavior when you walk in through the door. I would never, for example, address my wife, the way I talk to a subordinate on my team, in my experience, this is exactly how many professional women behave. They don’t turn off the workplace persona when they come home. When I met my wife, our first date was the first date I had with any woman where we didn’t talk about our careers. we talked about genuine interest that we shared. In my prior dating experiences, I felt like the woman was describing herself as if I was chief HR and she was trying to get a job at my company was all about the professional. And, I didn’t care. Because I’m not working with you. I want to know what you like to do on the weekends, because that’s when we will be spending time together, basic things like “do you like jazz?”

[@Billy-bc8pk]

Very well said -- they were never designed to deal with that kind of competitive nature and then bring it home, so we now have a generation of couples where they are competing with each other in the household as if they were competing with each other in the office place. It's turned into a mess, and a lot of today's generation have been convinced that they have to be bossbabes to "compete" with men in the relationship, which only works to the detriment of both people.

[@CabbagePatchkid-r8e]

They can't be leaders. After a while, their communication devolves into "he should just be able to read my mind"

[@travisadams4470]

That's logical thinking....women are emotional. Women need to decide to be either traditional and have children or choose the later and don't have children

[@Rob-z7k]

My ex long ago began to earn more than me and wanted to be the boss. I then cheated on her with my hair stylist...glad i did!

[@salvador.garcia]

So, you say that when women have to become the family's "alpha" provider, they tend to become workalcoholic more than men are?

[@tonylouis6072]

It starts with us fellas, we need to be better. As soon as we go back to normal, everything else will fall back into place naturally

[@Amanda.E.Seibel]

This is 100% true. I was the alpha in my first marriage. It was fine for about 6 or 7 years. Then, all of the sudden, I wanted an Alpha Male. He did not feel good about himself most of our relationship and then he ended up cheating on me. He didn't find love and comfort from me, so he went to look for it somewhere else. It doesn't work. Now, with my second marriage, I am re-training myself to embrace my divine feminine. 9 years together and I'm so blissfully happy ❤ Hard truth, but this is divine law.

[@Acuity-1]

A partnership requires emotionally intelligent empowerment.

[@Vickzq]

Nah... I understand. But cheating is always on the cheater him or herself.

[@TheRetroChallengerV]

@@Vickzq hahahahaha sure thing Victor

[@markconner5341]

You're either wife material or you're not. There is no "re-training." Let's re-read your words carefully..."then, all of a sudden, I wanted an Alpha Male." It wasn't all of a sudden...you lost respect for him (and I can guaran-god damn-tee you there was no intimacy). Maybe you chose wrong. Fine, it happens, but in your words, you put all the blame on him. He owns the cheating, 100%, but I couldn't help but notice you absolved yourself of all guilt for years of emasculation and disrespect. I pray you don't fall into those patterns again, because new guy will drop your ass in a heartbeat, especially if he's a catch. Post-wall post-divorce boss babes are a dime a dozen.

[@markconner5341]

Notice she absolves herself of years of disrespect and emasculation. If she tries that with her “alpha” husband, he’ll kick her to the curb.

[@lindabm2258]

I’M A WOMAN AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE ! 👏🏽

[@chiaraboccelli4189]

I am a woman, a nurse and I quit my well paid job to stay home and homeschool my kids. I am a submissive Christian wife who was blessed to marry the love of my life. We live in Christ, we don’t live what society says. Happily married for almost 20 years ❤️🙏🏼

[@Anonymous-xr7bt]

Vomit….good for you sweetheart. You sound pathetic to me but hey if it works for you then great!

[@matildamaher111]

Good on you

[@LucianoDiPiazza4903]

Hey Mr. Bet-David, I enjoyed meeting you at the book signing! My name is Luciano and I gave you a business card to my fathers italian restaurant in plantation. He is a Sicilian immigrant and it shows in the food lol. Also on my mother’s side I am Armenian, i wanted to tell you in person but didn’t get a chance.

[@ginaj617]

Yes, they do..‼️ I’m a very strong woman and really have to tone myself down , been married 26 years. Extremely happy… because you’re not in competition with your husband you’re a team..

[@StuG-pr9tf]

just be "humble"...because you will stand before almighty God and give account for how you treated him

[@richy12zzz]

No one said not to be strong. I will say, however, I love my mother because of all the motherly things she has done for me. That’s not something men could replace easily. Moms will always get a little bit more love than dads from their children. For a good reason too!

[@coutureleotards]

​@@richy12zzz Unless your a daddies gurl. My mom was heated cause my father was my world 😂😂😂.

[@zuibeckpulezon4626]

I bet you're happy ...is your doormat happy tho?

[@ginaj617]

@@zuibeckpulezon4626 the only ones that use their significant other as a doormat is the left… Weak men that follow their wife or a female and look at the female as a leader, these women , are actually not strong women… women’s Lib, Who insist on taking leadership roles , actually killing the strength that a woman has… Smarten up, sir, or toughen up… facts are facts .

[@jessicacoates1611]

I personally am alpha as in bossy but I am stay home mom, and my husband gets the job done and I respect him more when he checks me

[@maryhelensalsedo9797]

Good job Pat. I told my sons when they get married they need to get a job that can support their wife, children and household. Once children come along, wife should be home raising children and keeping the household. Women hate tradition, but in the end they figure out it is the most rewarding if they are honest with themselves.

[@dshepherd107]

No they don’t. That’s why there was a Women’s liberation movement. You might love the traditional role, & that’s great, but a huge % of women do not. Lots of women do not want to spend the day cooking, cleaning, and talking to babies & toddlers 24/7. Try it me. See how much you enjoy it after a week. Additionally, just like some men, some women aren’t meant to/ don’t want to be mothers. Some men and women aren’t fit to be parents. If you push this, you’ll find up with more abused and neglected children. This is the 21st century. Men have had control for thousands of years. Adjust. Those times are over.

[@lks11]

@@dshepherd107 no they arent get ready for war.

[@apastasauce5905]

The days of one income supporting a family are over unless you have generational wealth or are a top 10% earner. Even then the woman and kids will have to accept your budget and with the influence of social media you as the husband will be constantly nagged to get a bigger house a better car a bigger TV etc. more more more and more and what do you get in return? Probably slowly decreasing bedroom fun if your finances can’t keep up with their wants. This is why men have become passport bros or have gone their own way.

[@nasarma]

Agreed I tell my sons this regularly-. Dont be content with mediocrity and get comfortable with your wife making more than you. Work hard, become an entrepreneur, pick a high paying profession. Our society is collapsing cause of this. It's not just the women's fault, men need to step up too and it starts with how we train our sons!

[@ljones9841]

This would be great if men didn’t cheat or abusive. Unfortunately, women have to have something to fall back on. I have encountered many women who were stuck because they had no job or experience. Then when husband cheats, they are stuck or have to work a low paying job.

[@micahsawyer]

Honestly amazing to see the balls Bet has to come out and talk about this with such conviction. With his fame, money, and influence, few would be brassy enough to call this out. Whats even more amazing is how this all lines up with what the bible declares the roles for a Husband & Wife are. My wife was raised to be independent and powerful like many are today. Being younger, I tolerated it, but as we grew older, we struggled. It wasn't until my wife followed the tenants of kindness, respect and submission, along with my respect, leadership and gentleness toward her that we flourished.

[@OceanFrontVilla3]

Ya, ok. And what does the woman do when he dumps her for a younger woman and she has no work history? What group is most impoverished? Female seniors.

[@OceanFrontVilla3]

Being a stay at home wife/mom (more than a few years) is the riskiest thing a woman can do second to not getting an education.

[@motopolak]

@@OceanFrontVilla3found the feminist lolol

[@OceanFrontVilla3]

@@motopolak You didn't address the issues. Answer the question. We all know that 50% of marriages end in divorce. What does a woman do when she's 55, has no higher education and no recent work history and the husband disappears?

[@StartwithDawn]

​@OceanFrontVilla3 If this is something that scares you then you should most definitely work out a situation with your husband. It is a valid concern. Yes 50% of marriage ends in divorce except one group. Activity practices Christians. Their divorce rate is around 5%. Faith, love, respect, honest communication are key factors in marriage. It's also always possible to be a SAHM when your kids are young and when they're older to get a job. That's what my mom did and probably what I will do. I've heard the extreme response to concerns like yours. From that's dumb to it's the most important thing in the world. The truth is that it's important to discuss it with your spouse and find an arrangement that is best for both.

[@blessednanawithjoy]

I chose to move away from my family for my husband. He wanted to work for his family in another state. I became a stay at home wife and he slowly lost all respect for me. He became an abuser. Now that I’m making over 6 figures, he “respects me” and wants to remarry me. He now admits I was a good mom and wife when we were married. He also admits using fear tactics to control our children and me. Although I have forgiven him, there is no way in hell that I’ll remarry him. So, Patrick, I guess, the traditional couple way won’t work if the husband isn’t a kind soul.

[@IdaBarrett-y2r]

Absolutely, I have spent my life being nice but drawn to strong domineering men. As a result they almost always loose respect at some stage during the relationship ( I've always been in it for the long term) and eventually the loose that respect unless you can match the strength expected regardless of whether it creates friction you must be strong enough or you will be abused and taken advantage of. Now I've finally found a balanced wonderful partnership but it was touch and go for a while due to showing too much vulnerability to him. Now we match each others strength and things are good. Bottom line being nice left me vulnerable to abuse too many times.

[@arunaabraham6445]

My mom was the same (nice stay at home traditional wife)and my dad turned abusive. Once she started earning more than him, he became a good husband😂. Because of this I had lost all respect for men until my husband. He showed me there are good men. But I always feel like I got a lottery.

[@TheLkoler]

Bot comments? Same exact formula.

[@arunaabraham6445]

@@TheLkoler ?

[@prairiepatriot22]

It sounds as if he doesn't have a vision of what being feminine means. Makes one wonder about his parents and their roles. What did he observe? Now that you're in a position of power, he is excited and enamored by you. Lots of therapy hours there....

[@tonybolakowski6076]

Pat is speaking HEAVY truths today. 🎉

[@wednesdaysworld1471]

My husband lost his job of 16 years and He has been working for my cleaning company. It's been an adjustment. I really appreciate this video it's making me think about stuff that has been in the back of my mind. I'm worried he is depressed because he is not the breadwinner anymore. I have no issues with that. Our bills are being paid and I love him the same. What happens to a man's mental when this happens?

[@pattycake427]

I can only say things from my perspective but it might give you some insight. That happened to me and I felt like a failure. I felt like I couldn't be the man I was supposed to be for my family. It caused severe depression which made it worse causing a spiral downwards. I have the most amazing wife who never gave up on me and pulled me out of it, because she wanted me to be open about my feelings and I Know I can trust her with them not to hold them against me.

[@alphabogeyman7462]

Tell him you love him and never rob his nose in it when you're upset. Ninety percent of it happens when the woman is upset and makes humiliating comments about earning more than him. By the time the quarrel is over, the comments continue playing on repeat in the guy's mind. I saw my uncle go through that.

[@wednesdaysworld1471]

@alphabogeyman7462 I would never want to shame him. We have been together for 30 years next week and I love him more today than ever. Thank you for the wonderful advice.

[@soniaCodes]

Woman here 🙋‍♀️ single and trying to find a man who understands that I want to let go of the “achiever” mindset on my romantic relationship. Have been finding a lot of lazy man around who don’t want to lead or provide for even the simplest things like a meal. It’s became a huge problem in the dating world and until we all realise we need the polarity for things to work, nothing will change :/

[@katelynnbudny4165]

It’s not polarity. You are in the wrong areas. Find better hunting grounds for the type of man you want and be approachable. If you are young you can train a young one who’s willing. If you don’t have much time left, you can only afford to accept mature and decent males. Better to be single than marry a bad match. Truly nice men I have met are flexible. They’d probably give you the polarity you want if you asked. Now if a man talks himself out of being decent or the way you like them to be, not much you can do. You playing one role doesn’t mean the other wants to continue playing his. And that goes to his maturity.

[@TaraUlrich]

As a 20 year old I bought into the ‘boss babe’ mentality because I didn’t want to have to depend on anyone. I didn’t have good role models as a kid, grew up in poverty and wanted to make sure my life was different. I graduated from college with honors and climbed the ladder in my career quickly. Within 5 years of entering the workforce I was a manager at the best hospital in my area. I had my first child and felt like I got hit with a proverbial 2 x 4. I couldn’t believe the situation I was in was what I was told to strive for. I couldn’t give my family or my husband 100% or my job 100%. Felt like I was getting pulled so many directions that I might snap. I was stressed and sick. My marriage suffered. When we decided to have more kids, I said only if I can stay home and I’m so grateful my husband was immediately supportive; even though it was going to call on him to step up financially since I was the bread winner. 3 years later we are all so much happier, I’m so proud of my husband for stepping up and eternally grateful beyond measure for the time I chef with my kids that I wouldn’t have otherwise 💕

[@Anonymous-xr7bt]

If your husband knew how to operate the washing machine perhaps life as a working mother would’ve been more bearable

[@TaraUlrich]

@@Anonymous-xr7bt okay bot, go back from where you came. Your lame comment doesn’t even justify a dignified response

[@blaiseV]

Honestly not even married yet, but I have to agree that whenever there was a relationship I didn't take charge of, it was ended by her, and it was my fault in all honesty, but a relationship I took charge of was way more successful, so honestly so true.

[@daconqueror101]

Just because a woman works doesn't mean it's a competition. Women have worked for thousands of years. This idea that women just sit around all day yapping on the phone came about in the 50s after WW2 and didn't last long because it was not sustainable. Most families can't make ends meet if both don't work, and the leading cause of divorce is finance. Look at the 1800s when women were nurses, teachers, cleaners, maids, etc. Women have always worked.

[@typicalc]

I am early 40’s and was completely fed the feminist narrative. You know, the “I can do it on my own without a man” and “men aren’t reliable”. Luckily (or it felt not at the time) I ended up becoming pregnant at a far too young age and so in turn, had to pivot. Now I see it as a blessing, but that narrative is still in my head. I’m now remarried (10yrs) with four amazing kids, but it has taken those years to lower my guard and truly believe my husband is genuinely reliable. He is a blessing.

[@shannonshunk8897]

I agree with you. We (woman) have been fed a lot of lies. I believe it is another way to destroy the family. It doesn't help when the second tact is to promote only woman. Making them a girl boss. It is just another way to dehumanize our men. All of this needs to stop.

[@francikoen]

Funny how you ignore the unreliability of your first husband. Of course, some men are reliable. Obviously, NOT all men are reliable.

[@typicalc]

@@francikoen Interesting comment. Allow me to kindly educate you. I was raised to make marriage work. For good times and bad. Especially with a child is involved - so I tried for 10 long years to “be what he wanted” and “fix” the relationship. Eventually I got tired of having him gamble our rent/mortgage and sleep with other people. Looking back, I absolutely should’ve left when our little one was three months old but don’t know what you don’t know.

[@travisadams4470]

Happy Husband, Happy Home

[@kirk.w.mclaren]

Yeap. Feminism is a hateful movement of women against women.

[@bruceflachsbart2048]

Pat you nailed it!! My first marriage lasted almost 18 years to a tyrant alpha-boss who got worse the more I tried to make her happy. What a nightmare! What a selfish nasty jerk. My 2nd (and LAST) marriage is going great almost 10 years now and is a walk in heaven with a sweet, kind, FEMININE lady that I would die for. Keep speaking truth in this world of Fake News !!! God bless you brother!

[@Ferien7]

@@bruceflachsbart2048 never try to make anyone happy, doing so indicates the other person is above you, which is a turnoff to women

[@akinadeadesola9537]

I'm excited to watch the next video🎉🎉 This was a good watch, and it was really educative.

[@Ursus_arctos_25]

Women do this even when the man makes more money. They are unable to let it go. It is a completely unfixable scenario. There is no way to fix a relationship when you are constantly battling. Eventually one person silently quits and a lot of times it seems it’s the man. They turn into yes men like i did. They lose respect for themselves and then the wife loses respect soon after. Then the wife leaves. The mantra “happy wife happy life” ends marriages bc a marriage with no boundaries ends with one partner taking advantage and it ends. I was lucky. I had a hard boundary and when it was crossed I ended it and stopped playing games

[@philiprichardson6451]

Pat you just told the story of what happened to my first marriage! Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way. I took my fall, learned my lessons , made lots of improvement and got right back up as a majorly upgraded version. Now married who a wonderfully feminine woman and we have two beautiful daughters. I am the head of the house. Strong men create good times!!! Good times create weak men Weak men create bad times Unfortunately from a global perspective we are about to through bad times…. But that’s when strong men are created…… Stand up and be counted!

[@merirappos6061]

Bravo 👏 I’m a working mom. I worked hard to help my ex husband build his business. Problem was once he started becoming more successful he became more interested in seeing other women, spending money on them then on his children. But I got the last laugh. Karma worked in my favour. Respect the woman who helped get to the top.

[@simon134]

Men and Women are NOT Equal, they are Reciprocal. They should compliment each other, not try to be like each other.

[@JustOne-qe7jl]

Absolutely right.

[@maxreaper25]

Interesting take. Favorite part was the top 10 reasons for marriage & top 10 for divorce. Enlightening.

[@victoriasimage]

Being married isn’t a competition, it’s a partnership where you both help each other to succeed based on your own talents/inclinations. You can only push a man so hard to lead, he has to want to step up and take it. Sometimes ladies have to fill in the gaps until the man is ready, and nurture his confidence so that he becomes ready. Goals.

[@framboise595]

@victoriasimage The problem is Western women struggle for power with their husbands instead of submitting. Submission is part and parcel of femininity. Feminists perfeclt knew what they did when they assaulted submission. Women work in a way that they cannot see a partner in men . They unconsciously want someone who is above them .

[@Filga]

I disagree with this statement..

[@Filga]

It's not your place as a woman to tell your partner who is your husband what to do. NO NO NO. you do that he's going to feel like your nagging him. Ofcourse he should already know what he's role is as a man. He has to lead and he has to put you in your place..

[@framboise595]

@@Filga Who are those men who put women in their place today ? Our West is dying out because men are submissive to women ! Where has male dominance gone ? How can we be more cursed than that ?

[@utamu777]

@@Filga not all men actually want to lead. So what should a woman do in these situations?

[@mann8098]

Patrick is coming around. Nice! 👏💪🙌

[@WisdomSeekers2012]

My marriage was terrible , nothing i did was good enough . I was a stay at home mom. After a few years, I lived for my kids. Now divorced since 98. My kids are good friends . But i do believe that women and men's roll in life are ment to be complimentary and fullfill different roles. I didnt get to be a good wife. But i was a good mother. It takes two to make a marriage worth being married. Since my divorce i have never even dated.

[@szendrich]

Pat, I'm an alpha female and I have to tell you that YOU ARE RIGHT! I'm in my 60s now, alone with two divorces behind me. Thing is this ... I was abused in my first marriage so I was forced to become an alpha female. I always had a strong character, but that marriage made me HARD. Second marriage, I was just doing all the work, never getting so much as a thank you, but I did want to make the marriage work. My husband divorced me because I wouldn't allow him to gamble and drink. No problem! I'm better off now. My point is this ... sometimes circumstances coerce the female to man the ship because the male is just uninterested. He married a female who would become his mother ... someone to cook his meals, wash his clothes, clean his house, mind his children, etc. etc., while he watches his football on TV or does his own thing. Sometimes the woman has no choice but to become the leader because the man has no leadership qualities. He is meek, or he is just an overgrown schoolboy who doesn't like responsibility! So if women choose to divorce in these scenarios, do you blame them?

[@brokenvessel8886]

You picked them both. The common denominator is your choices.

[@typicalc]

I agree. Sometimes the woman has no choice because the man doesn’t have any leadership qualities. And sometimes the woman has no domestic qualities which causes hiccups too. Sorry you had the experience you did. I did too with my first marriage.

[@suntzu94]

@@szendrich You picked your abusive husband; make better choices

[@Billy-bc8pk]

@@typicalc The problem is that she chose two deadbeats; she is a result of the poor relationship choices. It's not to excuse poor men who fail to live up to being the men they should be, but still, a man with drinking/gambling issues has signs and red flags that are easy to spot for anyone willing to put in a modicum of time to spot them.

[@typicalc]

@@Billy-bc8pk I agree completely. However, some are far better at hiding their “issues” than others. I still have empathy for her experience. Nobody deserves that.

[@ekujj13]

The man can be the 100% breadwinner and the woman can be the alpha. Money has nothing to do with this.

[@christretch]

true😂... the old saying was "she wears the pants in the family"

[@truthtelleranon]

for sure. it’s a good proxy but there are loadssss of Pay Pigs

[@denisechapel1040]

After 34+ years of marriage I 110% agree with you PBD! It’s a topic that NEEDS to be addressed today!

[@zeanibanks3950]

I think it’s hard being a women in todays time. On one hand you want to have your own career success. And on the other hand you may still want to be a wife, mother, nurturer etc. but it’s hard to do it all. It’s a shame because I think many men have been taught that they have to make themselves smaller in order to allow their wife to shine. And many women believe they have to almost belittle their man in order to gain respect. Neither of these things are true. For me im not in competition with my Fiance. Right now he is our sole provider while I am taking care of our son, currently pregnant with our 2nd son, and a full time student. Once I graduate I plan on working and helping contribute to the household income. If he wants to go back to school or take on a hobby I support it. And vice versa. We have become so individualistic in this country we lost the idea of working together. It’s crazy because I think a lot of women have lost their identity as a women. I meet so many women who think it’s beneath them to cook. When in reality everyone loved going to grandmas house because she was the best cook. Catering isn’t for everything😂😂. Idk I’m rambling but we need balance. A refocus on what’s important. And everyone needs to find themselves.

[@BrooksOrlando]

I agree. My sister is 33 living in NY (no kids, but married), but she voiced similar concerns. It’s a no win situation. As a guy, it’s tough too nowadays. I think the main difference is guys even in today’s world need to instigate the relationship. They’re the courter and women are courted. If your confidence is rocky and you’re not in the headspace to carry a convo, it’s difficult. With women the peer pressure element is way higher amongst each other. Def aesthetically. Guys don’t really judge each other like women do when it comes to that stuff. Like I said though, it’s hard af in other ways practically. You’re viewed as the breadwinner and it puts a lot of pressure on guys. Some guys that want a girlfriend just aren’t ready for that dynamic.

[@Billy-bc8pk]

@@BrooksOrlando I mean, the whole culture has been structured around encouraging (or almost pressuring) women to be "bossbabes" who "take charge", and all this has done is create a dynamic where there is competition now in almost every aspect of life, including relationships, which is not healthy at all. It means guys either need to do double the work to compete with their significant other or else risk her monkey branching to guy who can provide more, or there is the real problem of just burning yourself out trying to become relationship-ready. It's why a lot of guys have just "noped" out of the relationship game altogether. Too much work, too much competition, too much disruption, and when you look at the way marriages are setup as an economic institutions for the judicial system, it's mostly a lose-lose situation, which ties into what you perfectly stated at the top of your comment about it being a "no win situation".

[@OceanFrontVilla3]

You make some great points Zeani. I did similar. Husband and I finished school at the same time (were in the same program). We worked and saved for a home and welcomed our first born into it. I returned to work after 6 months and soon was pregnant with the second and while at home with them the third was born. (Yes, 3 in less than 4 years). At the 6 year point with the youngest nearly 4, I returned part time and added hours when she started highschool and then full time when she started university. It worked well for our family as I was contributing to the household expenses in addition to providing "extras" (sports and music lessons) while my husband covered the basics including the mortgage. We both had a little free time too but it was still a challenge as the 3 kids went through many stages and requirements around the same time. Looking back now at age 68, we are comfortable in our retirement and the 3 kids are successful adults. I wouldn't change a thing if I could. We focused on the kids and made do with used cars and local vacations (and 2 exotic family trips). We were able to help them with tuition and they each have more than one degree. Best wishes to you!

[@OceanFrontVilla3]

​@@Billy-bc8pk Be confident in who you are and you will attract women with little effort. Women really aren't competing with men, we compete with each other. Be kind and courteous but watch out for those who are looking for a free ride. In my opinion, an age difference of 5 years or so really helps men's maturity and confidence and women prefer it as you're more established. Another tip; look at and consider the women who aren't the most beautiful or put together with expensive clothes and grooming. There is gold there.

[@zeanibanks3950]

@@OceanFrontVilla3 omg I love this! It’s so hard because I come from a family of women who love their kids but prioritize their careers. And now their kids are emotionally imbalanced because we never had the emotional support we needed. It’s hard because I understand why they did what they did. But I also, as a mother want to make sure my kids are always my priority.

[@hansangb]

It's SOOOO annoying that as a society, we decided to denigrate motherhood. It's the *ONE* thing that allows society to move forward. And women are denigrating it. You can be a boss-babe, the boss, the breadwinner if that's your jam. But why denigrate women who want to raise the NEXT generation? Why??? I told my two boys this and they were shocked. I said "when I die, and you boys are at my side and tell me that I was a good father, I would die a happy man" Their response was "Dad, that's such a low bar, of course we love and respect you!" And I had the biggest smile. And who made that possible? My wife who raised the kids. Of course I helped. But the next time your young children are sick, notice who they ask for. Mom or Dad?

[@daryllynn5406]

In my last relationship, he started off with the partnership and mutual respect. Then when we brought our blended family together. It changed. I loved it when we had both sets of kids together. With 5 kids, it was loud, but i loved it. Then it was I got you, now I don't have to try.

[@travisadams4470]

I'm divorced. My son always calls me when he is sick or needs help

[@SafeEffective-ls2pl]

Women denigrated motherhood. A good man appreciates a good wife who cares for their children

[@ashtonfinkenbinder7233]

If you’re actually going to read this… THANK YOU! This is a hard and very needed pill to swallow. I have walked through every bit of this with my husband and only with the grace of God have we survived, reparented ourselves on both sides, have no to very little family support from both large sides, and rearranged the hierarchy of our marriage. Thank you thank you for making this. It’s still a journey day in and day out.

[@SaJelinda85]

Not all strong women are feminists or compete against men. There’s so much focus on the feminist that we automatically assume all women agree with the movement. We dont at all. There are many “men” that use this excuse not to be a man and make a mockery of it while they sit on their ass and do nothing but talk a big game and have high expectations of the homemaker wife while she’s also out there working a full time job and managing the household and trying not to get fat. There are a lot of beta men that call themselves alphas and leaders but they are not. They break when life gets hard, they break when their wife is too stressed out. They have little initiative. I know that there are plenty of feminists out there competing against men which I find ridiculous but let’s not ignore that not all women are feminists and not all men are REAL MEN. If a man can demonstrate true leadership, make a woman feel safe, give her security and trust then a good woman ( not a feminists) would be able to embrace her feminine self. Unfortunately, we just see constant attacks on women and beta men use it as a crutch to be lazy. Let’s have the topic on REAL MEN because we have too many fools calling themselves MEN but they are not. And trust me as a strong woman that I am, there is nothing sexy about a man without a back bone. Good strong women also have the teddy bear weakness men have for their wife’s. And there’s nothing more relaxing than feeling protected and secured that no matter what he will take care of things. Whatever that may be. Trust is not given. It is earned. And if a good woman can trust you, there is no end to the level of respect she can have for a good real man. What do we see now, Tiktokers, motivational audio listeners that make them feel like they are men while they sit at home dreaming and taking no action? I grew up in a traditional household and I’m blessed to see the men in the family continue those traditions. Some of the wives work and some are homemakers but regardless they work well together. So my point is that there are good men and good women that get sucked up into these wars. So yes. Let’s talk about the feminists and the beta men. But also talk about the non-feminist women and real alpha men. Also, being a non feminist does not mean just being a homemaker which is a beautiful thing btw. Some women have career goals and we should not be shamed for that. I’m a nurse and I feel very connected to it. I can’t picture doing anything else. I don’t even feel like it’s a job because I truly enjoy it. Now if I had small children, I would prefer being at home raising them or at least work minimal hours bc we also have to consider the economy and how the world spins around us. I good woman is a prepared woman aka a strong woman. Being dependent of the husband is a great thing but what happens if he falls ill? Loses his job? Who’s going to take over? The strong prepared woman awaiting for her husband to get back on his feet that’s who. Or what happens if he dies??? Poor homemaker is now faced with a world that she was not prepared for? Why do I say this? Bc I saw this happen with my own eyes. And I promised myself that I would be a prepared woman with a career. Not bc I’m competing with men. I appreciate and admire TRUE MEN. There are plenty in my family whom have set the bar really high. I honestly think a lot of marriages fail bc of societal pressures or bc of fairly tale dreams or the wish to be in a fancy expensive wedding to post all over social media. I mean some people should not be marrying. Want a huge fancy wedding? Have it ten years into the marriage as a celebration. Your initial wedding should be super gentle and simple. Anyways. It’s the middle of the night and just went into a random rant that probably needs to be proofread 😂. Texting this message into a tiny box was not very comfortable. Idk if I was able to deliver my message well but I sure hope so 🫣 Oh and BTW, what that woman did to her husband is unforgivable! She’s not a good woman. She killed him and embarrassed herself. Any partner that would embarrass or humiliate their significant other is not a TRUE PARTNER.

[@gwynedd1]

Who was stupid enough to pick that man? A "strong", dumb woman.

[@estlola2317]

This is perfect, being strong doesn't make one a feminist. What happens is usually is that those feminist boss chicks will mostly pick the beta lazy men who see her as a meal ticket. The real ones won't stand for a rude attitude or to be treated like children

[@Katherine-z7b]

You are absolutely right! Not all women are toxic feminists and not all women are alphas! Let's appreciate strong and kind men and women🎉

[@johannaarias7594]

I wasted 13 years of my life in my previous marriage because I was an alpha woman. I left him because I got tired of him not stepping up to his duties of being the husband and taking the lead, I got burned out. At the time, I did not understand why I felt unhappy and burned out and after the divorce, I realized that it was because I took the lead in the marriage and I emasculated him due to trauma. I was a feminist and so when I wanted him to step up, he couldn’t do it as he got too comfortable not being the bread winner and not having to be in charge. I had to learn through therapy to let go of my masculine energy and learned to emerge in my feminine energy and met an alpha man who allows me to be a woman by him taking the lead. It has been a journey because when you are used to being alpha and now you are to be submissive, it can be extremely challenging but rewarding. I am much happier now 😊

[@Starli7777]

Excellent, it was maybe the wrong man for some too. Listen to the God instincts. Date long.enough to be in every situation to really know if you fit together and cover one another thru thick and thin

[@lotti9576]

As a lady this is a very important conversation! I grew up with a narcissist mother (but i figured it out only at 37). She always belittled my dad playing tough feminist who did not need a man (i thought this normal for the most part). I was a independent woman, traveled and had amazing jobs until my dad got cancer and i came home and filled in for him as a farmer. He passed a year later and my mom started treating me like him and I have since relised how much he did for me and my sister's. Its taken some serious soul searching. I have started a family late and would have loved more kids. People do not relise the value family brings to life. I feel I lost my family and have started a new one while farming and my husband works in town. Its a lot of work all while being a mother. I try and appreciate him not just by saying thank you but feeling it. Society has bought into an anti family agenda, especially women.

[@gtbigdog3507]

My two sons and son in law are the men in the relationship. They are good godly men. Their marriages are fantastic. I am from another era but my 40 year marriage is a testament to our hard work and respect for one another.

[@professionalpookie]

Everything past the 1st sentence has nothing to do with anything

[@CapriceWalker]

​@@professionalpookie go back to sleep !!!......or WAKE UP !

[@susanwallace6838]

Having been in this position, I fully agree. I would add that my husband endlessly pushed me into this position. I am currently watching my son in law doing this to my daughter. I keep telling her to stand her ground and not buy into the concept.

[@SafeEffective-ls2pl]

Your son in law seems to be a male feminist. Very toxic and irrational for a man

[@G_in_CPT]

Pat, my father is no longer around, but thank you for your content. You are saving lives. We need these messages. God bless you

[@MichaelDaviesMusic]

I was once the Alpha in the family but ended up on disability and earning 65% from SSI of the 35% more of what she has earned over the last 15+ years. I catch her every so often trying to command control of the relationship but my nature is to take back control as a male and she submits. No violence here, but hashing it out and retaking over our original roles. However, we are both conservative Christians and we love each other and follow Gods word and it has worked. Lack of God in the family is generally the reason these types of marriages don't work. Ours works great and after raising 2 beautiful kids, We are rediscovering our passion for each other.

[@ak-47intelligence75]

Poor her. She's pretending to respect you when she can't. Her friends will know more.

[@jeanninelavin5467]

So you don’t feel like a man unless you control her & she “submits “. One day you might find yourself alone.

[@Kinglife1000]

​@@jeanninelavin5467Leadership is not equal to 'control'. Men's chief interpretation of love is 'respect'...I've been married almost 11 years, not a single day of argument in those years because we both understand our roles how we both interpret love

[@julierichey5336]

God is the focal point in a good marriage.

[@MichaelDaviesMusic]

@@jeanninelavin5467 Nope, We stand on equal footing... 23 years and stronger than ever. All of her friends and family love me... We build each other up and We stand together as equals.

[@meinking22]

Toxic Feminism is the primary problem in the West.

[@MA-lm1ql]

Along with liberalism

[@hemanshubahl3785]

Pat please share this video everywhere and as much as you can with today’s youth!!! This video should be shared with every college and university!

[@kegansmom87]

100% Truth!

[@thomasmacon7782]

🤌

[@luthandodingalibala1875]

Damn this is powerful!

[@Tortuga6able]

Absolutely

[@amaezyng]

9:54 Pat, this is EXCELENT!!! Thank you … this conversation needs to be had MORE!! ~ An adoring woman whose been “the boss babe” but longed for being wife and Mom

[@undefined-maxwell]

Manifestation Hacks by Olivia Cooper (thank me later)

[@TheDragonforces]

Where can I find it? It's not on amazon

[@shirin8609]

As someone who's been there, manifestation is a lie from the devil. Repent and give your life to Jesus. Look up "Shroud of Turin." Don't thank me later.

[@vickiwithers8563]

Fabulous video from a female boss babe and who saw the wisdom of which you speak 20 years ago. I raised my high achieving daughter with these facts on the table.

[@Rhkjohnson]

I am a woman, wife, & alpha. I am learning how to be a better wife & appreciate, love, encourage, cheerlead, listen to my husband's counsel better, & let him lead. We've been married 20yrs & I feel happier & I feel our marriage is even better than ever. Grateful for my husband's patience with my alpha attitude all these years! 😅

[@bishopmakeitknock9766]

My condolences

[@bishopmakeitknock9766]

To your husband

[@joeyken7791]

​@@bishopmakeitknock9766😂💀

[@Melie1111]

In my later 30’s now and in my 20’s I fell for all the toxic femininity that was stuffed down my throat by society. I was an awful person that ‘didn’t need no man / kids and could make my own money’… I realized how wrong I was after meeting the man I needed in my life. Now happily married with a toddler and another on the way!! Thank u god for sending me my beautiful family!!

[@c.f.okonta8815]

You almost fell for the feminist lie and would have ended up being a childless cat lady

[@Melie1111]

Lol I actually had dogs that I treated like my babies. But close enough. Haha

[@vsperatos]

Why do you NEED him?

[@Katherine-z7b]

​​@@vsperatos because they are married and love each other ? Are you an incel/femcel??😂?

[@vsperatos]

@Azuka-z4u love has never made me feel like i NEEDED someone

[@monicamaria5158]

Love your podcasts. My husband and I watch you all of the time. We no longer watch TV, but we always look forward to watching your shows. Pls keep up the goid work

[@Peaceout4337]

Woman here. 1000% I agree. I married a man who turned into a little boy AFTER we were married with 5 kids. I let him lead- he led us into a ditch and stole money from people. I was doing everything but working outside the home and he controlled everything- he even put cameras up to watch me and spied on my phone without provocation. When my 5th child was a few months old I found out he’d been lying about so many things. I finally broke free. Now, 8 years later, I do everything on my own and I’m extremely happy. I’ve also dated a ton and finally found a healthy man that I could let lead and trust him to captain the ship. Yes. I dated several millionaires- but they were not worth their weight, even when they proposed and tried to buy me. I’m not for sale. This man is blue collar and amazing. I can’t wait to see what’s next for us. But this video really put into perspective what I was seeing in the dating world- men who wanted mommies- men who wanted control and not a trusting relationship of captain and co-captain. I’ve held out for a reason. ❤

[@andreanielsen5621]

I hear from some of my younger friends the craziness of the dating pool right now. I don’t know what happened but it seems like the boomers raised a whole class of men who are used to having their egos stroked for accomplishing nothing and expect to have a mommy/maid who takes care of everything so they can have a cushy life, all the while they’re using dating apps to cheat on them with other women who they tell are single. On the other side of the spectrum the few males that have ambition tent to be a-holes and are incredibly disrespectful. No wonder younger women are just completely walking away from the dating scene and are perfectly happy.

[@Peaceout4337]

@@andreanielsen5621 my area seems to be worse than that. Men will recruit other men - get them to the gym and make them super bulked up- making sure they are all ‘the popular’ group. They play a game- ‘how far, how fast’ with any newly divorced girl into the singles scene. They compete to see how far they can get with that girl and how fast they can get there. It’s disgusting. And you try to warn the girl and they think they will be special and change the man. These men are manipulative and selfish. 2 ended up in jail for rape. The players are rampant and ruin the girl so she can’t even see a good decent guy. And there are a lot of great men that don’t play games. They are shy and don’t date well. So they are overlooked. It’s been very hard to watch.

[@marcmuwanga68]

​@@andreanielsen5621then you should also hear the report from men trying to date your friends. They also have choicest colourful words to describe your "saintly" friends. Modern women are so damaged in ways that make it a useless venture for a man. It's a net negative to be involved with a modern woman if I could simply summarise the views on them. And these are views from good hardworking young men plus older men who have dared to get involved in the dating scene after being divorced by their wives or lost their wives. So it's useless to point fingers here. The best solution is to actually internalize what this man has said. Look at the statistics to inform you. Are there exceptions? Yes ofcourse! But they are very few and are not the rule.

[@lynda5381]

@@Peaceout4337 thanks for sharing! Did you find similarities within the “millionaire population of men”? Do they just want to be pleased and sugared with love with no commitment and just bread crumb woman? Serious question too.. 🥶

[@Peaceout4337]

@@lynda5381 the 7 or so millionaires I dated, one being worth 65 million were all very interesting. I’d say the majority of them just wanted arm candy and me to perform how they wanted me too. 3 proposed way too fast and early for me. I hadn’t even agreed to be their girlfriend yet. Several became very controlling when they realized their money had no power over me- one telling me I was like a beautiful doll that he could dress and tell what to think and say. That didn’t go over well for me. I’d say only 3 were kind men that I just wasn’t compatible with. But all of them were used to getting their way and buying out of their problems so they didn’t have good relationship skills or conflict management skills. I’m not willing to trade beauty for money and that’s all it seemed they knew what to do. Very transactional. I did enjoy the fine dining- but honestly, I’m happy at a McDonald’s with someone who makes me laugh and I can be myself. I did cry in a Mercedes and was flown places and did helicopter rides, snorkeling, etc. but it only means something when you feel safe and can be yourself and trust the person your with. Big money brought huge insecurities. A few were extremely jealous if I spoke to the waiter or the driver. In their head everything was a threat. That was exhausting. My guy now does feel a bit insecure he can’t provide those things- but I don’t want them. It’s been hard to get him to believe me, but he knows how loyal I am and that I choose him over anyone. We still are working through things- but he’s real and honest and I admire his character. At the end of the day, money comes and goes and so does beauty. Give me something real to build with.

[@camcma1733]

This is why my marriage just ended last year. I was crumbling under the pressure of being the sole breadwinner and feeling like I was playing mommy to my husband. He had become so accustomed to the pampered princess role that he didn't want to switch back. And what's crazy is that I didn't start out as an alpha feminist at all. I never wanted to be a career woman. We just didn't pay enough attention to the influences and tidal direction we were succumbing to. Not enough awareness. I want to be in a traditional marriage and am eager to try again now that I see how horribly it can go off the rails when you're on autopilot.

[@Iwantallmymoney2024]

This!! I love how they speak as if all these men actually want to be alpha and work. Most of them want to be pampered and have women pay all the bills.

[@vivianwebb2917]

This mirrors my story!

[@beatrixatthecchwclub5620]

this happens a lot

[@shikimanamela4210]

Women can only submit when they feel safe…

[@andreanielsen5621]

How did your husband end up being in the pampered princess role? Lost a job and then just became lazy, not contributing around the house at all? Curious about the road that landed you both in those roles.

[@amybrown1373]

Appreciate your perspective. When you begin to be aware of what it is you're saying, it's life changing

[@malibufunnyfarmpumpkinpatc2758]

The key for alpha women is to make good choices before getting married. I suggest choosing a man that you can respect. And you need to learn to receive. Men thrive in relationships where they can give and make you happy. If you don't appreciate his profession and the ways he makes money, it will be hard because you will look down upon him. Don't create a mentorship situation for yourself.

[@framboise595]

The problem is no alpha woman can respect a man ! She has usurped the masculine authority , what else remains ?

[@bordeaux8791]

Down with Kommula!

[@clairesevenich7871]

I couldn't agree more with this, what is more difficult than anything is finding my own femininity and tearing away that masculine edge to myself. While I try my best to act in taking that edge off, it does take a man to actually point out my blind spots to that. I just hope that the men that are watching this video know that there are woman that earnestly are trying to figure it out. The best example of the feminine genius I have found is that of Mary mother of God. She was not asked to be physically crucified (ie work) but to take all of the hardships into her heart and contemplating them holding (not clenching) the world in her hands.

[@nerdforlife6544]

I have been married for 23 years. I make 2/3 of the home income. We’re both high earners. I never point out that my contribution is higher because I know my husband is very sensitive to this issue. However, I wish I could rely more on him financially but I’ve accepted that this is just the reality of my marriage. He is really great. Reliable, honest and a wonderful dad. Not a perfect situation but I realize this can and has worked. As a Christian I accept that I have to be a wife to him, so I respect him and appreciate him. I’m not perfect but I try. We both work with what we have.

[@chloecigarroa9847]

If he's a high earner and you can live off his wage, you should've quit your job lonnnng ago.

[@nerdforlife6544]

@@chloecigarroa9847 maybe I will soon

[@Mint-kj9kw]

@@chloecigarroa9847 Why??? Some of us women would be bored to death if we had to be stay at home moms

[@MiMysmelfandI]

Married 23 years? So you’re in your 40’s? You’re lucky he still puts up with you at all. After 40 you have ZERO SMV. None. Thank your stars that he hasn’t dumped you.

[@threedfitness]

@@MiMysmelfandI now we know why you are "me,myself, and I" It appears your lack of self esteem would require your spouse to lessen themselves so you could feel more about yourself. And that you only find women valuable until they are 39 years old. Guess that sums up what you are about. Sad and empty you must be. I'm glad the original classy lady that posted the comment didn't bother replying to you.

[@suavelysinister]

I can save you some time. Yes, the answer is yes. We are not gay, we don't want to date a dude.

[@thefobiddenbookshelf7560]

One of Pat's greatest videos under 12 minutes. Regards Bill from Peru!