Doctor Reacts To FUNNIEST Onion Medical Headlines #1

[@dontmindme4885]

Dr. Mike: freeze-away toe remover Cinderellas step sisters: **nervous sweating**

[@DaMoosicRawks]

Underrated.

[@danielf.7151]

But does it also work on heels?

[@lillyko5611]

Dove: rockadeedoo there's ice in the shoe.

[@Hi-iv9fj]

Oof

[@jordankelly7540]

Daniel F. I don't think so

[@clarissarojas7959]

This video is like when you tell your mom a joke and she turns it into a lecture

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

Oh my god thats so accurate. Especially with the fingerless gloves

[@abhisheikpatangey3481]

I like Dr Mike, but how does he have time to create such videos while his city suffers

[@chriscarguy]

Abhisheik Patangey sometimes you gotta lighten to mood a bit more. These videos really take your mind off the virus, so in a way it’s saving a lot of people stress. Because of that he’s actually saving lives. LoGiC

[@onceinabluemoon3264]

ChrisCarGuy - True

[@tokyodrift90s]

Bro i literally commented this 21 hours ago and i dont get one heart from doctor mike😭

[@dyhia1311]

Dr Mike is the only person who can turn a joke into a lecture without making it annoying

[@evanislost]

I like people who can organically drop nuggets of knowledge, if it's someone whose professional field is related and it's like factoids that are interesting and not common knowledge. It's like an attractive quality, yknow?

[@nazanin2674]

Dyhia ⵣ it's just because he's good looking

[@jihadzengana5530]

Dyhia ⵣ one of the main reasons that I keep watching his videos ❤️

[@sometimessnarky1642]

Nah, it's still annoying.

[@alexaweishoff195]

996th like!

[@jacob_massengale]

"Seriously injured woman heroically fends off paramedics trying to put her in medical debt"-my favorite

[@bepis_lord7883]

Basically when someone's about to call the ambulance for you, so you gotta show them that you're not sick enough to need an ambulance.

[@RobertJarecki]

The city fire department sent me a bill for *_only_* $400. I had tripped and fallen on an uneven brick walkway *_at a hospital_* and one of the medical professionals who helped me up, put me on a chair and evaluated my condition had called before the evaluation was complete (the police also came out but didn't send a bill). I called the hospital ombudsman about the situation and asked if they could contact their legal department and ask what the usual settlement was for a slip-and-fall incident. The ombudsman immediately told me that I shouldn't worry about it anymore.

[@rebeccagibson9644]

Have done this...

[@lauragarzon5277]

Dr Mike: These are just jokes, don't take them seriously Dr. Mike: *Takes the jokes seriously*

[@joy100ish]

This like talking to your parents xD

[@superpotterfan7435]

I feel like he’s also wanting to make sure that people understand the truth vs the joke so they know it’s a joke. I liked that he took the jokes and explained where they most likely originated and why they wouldn’t happen for real. 😁

[@moistnugget4147]

he's a medical professional, cut him some slack :P

[@overdadeirofelipao3629]

I mean... what else is he supposed to do? Read medical memes and like... laugh 3 times?

[@NoOne-wz2ht]

@@joy100ish yeah read the top comment

[@Macapta]

Fav Onion headline ever is “amazing, miracle of birth occurs for 8 billionth time”

[@mariabarker2036]

LOLOLOLOL teehee

[@haroldwilkes6608]

Even Jesus stopped making wine once in a while...

[@OveranalyzingEverything]

Hasn't there been more than 8 billion people on earth or is the joke that the miracle happens so often every day?

[@Macapta]

@@OveranalyzingEverything the latter, that we call something a miracle even though it’s so common.

[@OveranalyzingEverything]

@@Macapta but then again there has been more than 8 billion people born. The ones alive today and the ones from the past.

[@itzcloudieout4869]

Toe remover: *exists Dr mike: I used this before Me: *concerned

[@sometimessnarky1642]

@@PeachesCourage what are you talking about?

[@orange_orange1985]

PeachesCourage what?

[@Forlorn_Dusks]

@@PeachesCourage What in the *heck* are you talking about, Peaches.

[@theguythatasked6400]

He’s just really concerned about people with a foot fetish

[@haruhifujioka5952]

NO HIS TOES!!!

[@davidcookmfs6950]

6:17 I have a badly suppressed immune system. I had a doctor for years who was a professor, and he would bring about a dozen students when seeing me. Of course I had given him permission. He wanted to see how different students handled examining the same patient. So my medical appointments about every three months would go on for a couple of hours. He would have them come in one at a time to do their exam, and then after everyone was done, he would do the exam and narrate everything he was doing and explaining why about everything, and then spend about a half hour having a class discussion. One student from West Africa correctly diagnosed that I had a patch of leprosy starting, and no one else caught it, not even the professor. The thing that tipped him off was that I had a numb patch on my back, and he ordered a test, and that is what it was. Turns out it is still a lot more common in the US than people think, but it is much more common in developing countries, and he immediately recognized it. It is bacterial, and apparently attacks nerves, so the reason that people wind up with wounds is that they don't fell pain where a wound is starting, and it gets worse.

[@chestio3488]

Cool story! Hope your doing well, even with a bellow average immune system! :D

[@azaanhm]

@@chestio3488 lmao I can't tell if you're concerned for him or just making fun of him!!!

[@DKNguyen3.1415]

That's like an episode of House.

[@mroiddzhem7311]

Thank you! I'm a medstudent and we need patients like you

[@niagara6015]

Doctors in Africa are used to seeing all different types of diseases; in South Africa we have everything because of all the people that have immigrated here from other African countries. When Covid hit Africa we already had ample experience with contagious diseases and viruses.

[@nollypolly1869]

Ladies and gentlemen, we got a "pee woop"! All is right in the world.

[@prettyluhliaya4774]

Yesss I was Soo happy I rewinded it back just to do it with him

[@wingy6060]

Pee? He can't be very healthy then

[@akanksha7028]

@@wingy6060 pun intended 🤔😄

[@acaesic]

Mike looking at a _’toe remover’:_ “Oh, I have this thing! I’ve used it before!”

[@hiimjohnquinones2971]

Yeah, I used it too so now I'm down to 12 toes. Wish me luck on getting the other 4 off. (Edit) thanks for the likes, y'all really like toes apparently

[@khatunamezvrishvili6211]

@@hiimjohnquinones2971 bruh

[@csweezey18]

@@hiimjohnquinones2971 Hol' up.

[@ashleybishop3431]

@@hiimjohnquinones2971 A true intellectual

[@annlakes24]

Video Star yo same

[@deusexaethera]

4:59 - True story: When my son was born, the nurses (especially in the nursery unit) were fawning over him and saying how cute he was -- "no really, I say this to every parent, but yours really is the most adorable baby I've seen in a long time", etc. By the end of our time in the hospital, I was telling the nurses, "Well of course he's the cutest one; I picked him out myself." The older nurses thought it was hilarious; the new nurses were horrified.

[@FunnyParadox]

Are you my mother ? XD because that's the EXACT same story she told me XD

[@Zeeboklown]

I was gonna comment about the baby security bracelet thing. If someone is gonna steal a baby, why wouldn't they.. just take the bracelet off the baby..

[@devforfun5618]

@@Zeeboklown my guess is it makes a sound or alert the security or simply stops openning the door when removed

[@deusexaethera]

@@Zeeboklown: The bracelet is has a built-in tamper alarm, in the form of a heartbeat monitor. It presses tightly against the bottom of the baby's foot, and if it stops detecting a heartbeat (or if it detects heart arrhythmia) it goes nuts.

[@karlkfoury2213]

if he's cute then he's probably not your son

[@AtebyZombie]

6:03 That alex jones joke is perfect now. The onion just bought his show info wars. So they could play that article as one his news stories.

[@blakksheep736]

All comes full circle.

[@vanessaf7259]

“You owe me a half hour of my life back” 😂😂😂 👏👏👏 When it comes to wasting peoples’ time, insurance companies are so in debt they can’t possibly pay everyone back!

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

When it comes to wasting peoples' time, the doctors are so in debt they can't possibly pay everyone back. I don't bother going to doctors because I won't wait the 45+ minutes late that they always are, even when I make certain I'm the first patient of the day.

[@moonlit_sky127]

@@mortimerbrewster3671 You don't bother going to the doctors? Dude, ya really need to start going! Even if it's just twice a year!

[@saltedlemons5908]

Moonlit_Sky2712 nah. If he doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t have to. That’s one Less person to pollute the world

[@jamessheppard4372]

@@saltedlemons5908 exactly

[@jdirksen]

My old youth therapist, first name Karen, literally ended up speaking to the manager and put me on emergency supply after they hadn’t sent in my mood stabilizers nearly a month after writing in the prescription

[@CamperDustin]

"Chest compressions, chest compressions, chest compressions" It's about time.

[@Gabriel-yd4bq]

nah it's too late. he ded now.

[@draconicepic4124]

I thought you just keep shocking them until their heart beats and then scream, "It's alive!"

[@sashafinlay2235]

same with "BEE-WOOP!"

[@CamperDustin]

@@draconicepic4124 Only if they are flat linining

[@Niikachuuuu]

“Does you doctor have crows feet ? That means they care” 😂

[@peacefulinvasion684]

Actually it means that theres a crow out there with no feet

[@jutau]

@@peacefulinvasion684 I'm sure rabbits would be happier, if this trends.

[@akanechan1211]

@@peacefulinvasion684 It's the law of equivalent exchange

[@BjornUltimatum]

Dr. Mike doesn't care is confirmed.

[@hexxidelux6224]

This is concerning. I first heard of the "nutritionists say people who eat right shouldn't poop at all" thing from my mother. It was passed on to me as real news because she had seen it on TV being presented as such. My mother does not know how to use a computer, and (of course) has no social media accounts. She doesn't have a cellphone and we still use a landline phone here at the house. If she says she saw it on the news, she means it. I was going weeks thinking "nutritionists are going crazy" each time I went to the bathroom. I had no idea it was from The Onion. But now, I do. That means, someone around or in South Carolina thought it was real news and put it on our news networks to be shown as such. I'm rambling. Trying to think about it is blowing my mind.

[@KimonFrousios]

That someone thought it was real is not surprising. That nobody else questioned it before it reached getting presented, is what is deeply concerning.

[@Duffyboi]

@@KimonFrousiosIt’s the people that use social media and take everything at face value.

[@jb888888888]

Around me sometimes on slow news days they'll put up things like that as a funny. "See what the Onion says LOL" but then I can imagine people who might miss that first part see it and think it's real.

[@FuckGoogle502]

The Onion has tricked newscasters into repeating its articles quite a few times now lol

[@MarginalSC]

That thought predates The Onion by decades at least.

[@ScruffMcGruff86]

Doctor, fighting with insurance company: "You owe me a half hour of my life back." Patient, fighting with insurance company: "You owe me my life back."

[@wesnohathas1993]

Insurance companies really are the worst.

[@Jimothyjohns]

@@wesnohathas1993 they really are, especially when it comes to medical care.

[@Kyleplaysgames567]

​@@wesnohathas1993It's a joke at this point. "OH don't worry insurance will pay for it!"

[@theresalynn3633]

*How to find the right doctor, a guide:* 1) look all over your town 2) if necessary look in a few other towns near by 3) if the above fails move to New Jersey and look for Doctor Mike 4) say *PEEWOOP* 5) Congrats! you have found a great doctor!

[@norge0209]

I SO wish this was true. I live in New Jersey, but I doubt Doctor Mike is taking new patients.

[@theresalynn3633]

Wallace Lam I’m glad I could help!😂

[@cocoraven1523]

I live in New Jersey but I doubt he is taking new patients 😞

[@lmonsalud7034]

peewoop

[@SweetAeromotion]

Courtney hghahahsdkaksksndn try bein the one person that walked by him (months ago!) and recognised him, but got shy :(

[@アシュリーメイ]

"Pooping is great. Urinating-- great." What a stunning review from Doctor Mike. I'll have to look into this.

[@harveyabel1354]

Er....not TOO closely, I hope?

[@TruckTaxiMoveIt]

Not too close though, ok? [Edit] Someone beat me to it

[@jamestays8416]

Sounds like Dr Mike has some enjoyable times in the bathroom.

[@bradlyfray1010]

Big if true

[@Moji_Night]

The fact that you got duped even though you know full well the Onion is satire is the best thing. So pure. Don't ever change.

[@painfall]

Plot twist: The Onion is actually predicting the future

[@infrakazos]

Oof

[@lancebargamento1784]

Oh no....

[@ing9545]

Funny

[@gsmarkham]

On more than one occasion...

[@pendingauthor2536]

Someone needs to check on the Mickey containment.

[@rebeccahicks2392]

"Get on the phone spend half an hour arguing with the insurance company" This is the doctor we all need.

[@ledues3336]

True

[@R.Daneel]

My dentist took time out of their own day to argue that 2 (not just 1) of my 4 new crowns were required, not cosmetic. Saved me about $1500. (Convinced them that it was $1500 now, or covering adult braces later and THEN the crown anyway. The insurance, surprisingly, saw the light.)

[@devforfun5618]

@@R.Daneel what ? they are physically able to think long term ? i thougth it was impossible

[@SkiDaBird]

@@devforfun5618 They are surprisingly good at predicting the future, whether in underwriting, claims, or patient reps. Corporate penny pinching is the problem.

[@MrCharlesfire]

This is a doctor nobody SHOULD need. Seriously, America, you're the last first world country not having universal health care...

[@jillian7454]

Dr. Mike: "All of this is in fun, it's a joke!" Also Dr. Mike: explains the medical side of every joke and how the article is massively incorrect. Me: oh, doc... This is why we love ya.

[@carnage2332]

That is really Mike's entire mission statement with this channel. Is to be friendly and entertaining while providing useful medical information.

[@liger04]

Except he played along for "ask [the doctor] straight up if they've ever killed a patient on purpose". Coincidence? I think not.

[@Arrow14860]

@@liger04 LMAO😂😂

[@Hust91]

I mean it's interesting context, right? How the joke relates to the real world situation that might have prompted the joke.

[@lyn3792]

Who is that in ur profile pic

[@Thehouseoffail]

I have a rare condition. When I was a teenager, I was in the hospital for treatment and the doctor asked if some of her medical students could sit in. She was so excited to share this because having this condition at such a young age is almost unheard of. I said yes, thinking it was just going to be a few people discussing my case. NOPE. They came while I was asleep in the morning. No warning, no bra, hair unbrished, and feeling very vulnerable. And in comes about 30 mostly male medical interns crowded around my bed to watch her trigger a reaction from my condition. It was humiliating. Safe to say, that poker buddies joke isn't too far off the mark.

[@AutumnTehKitty]

Ah, I'm sorry they didn't give you better warning to prepare or change your mind.

[@RobertJarecki]

Good grief! What an overwhelming experience to have first thing in the morning!! The doctor I go to is at a clinic which is a part of a teaching hospital. He sometimes asks if a medical student can come in and be part of the exam but only one student. Although I'm 72 years old, I've only been overnight in a hospital once and don't yet have any very interesting conditions so far. I would be a bit overwhelmed with such an audience.

[@clarkemz869]

"...the most infectious part of your hand... are fingertips." Me while biting my nails: 👁👄👁

[@AstralArbourSystem]

I've been called out-

[@KatKitty_]

@@AstralArbourSystem fellow enby?

[@AstralArbourSystem]

@@KatKitty_ yep! enbies of the internet unite lmao

[@sapnajoy935]

I WAS BITING MY NAIL WHILE READING THIS COMMENT HSKJDKSJSKJKD

[@abbyroad5169]

Just builds your immune system.

[@billoftt1]

"The Onion is a satirical newspaper..." No, The Onion is The Finest News Source!

[@somegoodsoup7008]

It's more reliable than the BBC

[@jimluvsgene]

@@somegoodsoup7008 and FOX. And NYT.

[@jimluvsgene]

And ABC CBS MSNBC NBC USA Today TWSJ TWP POLITICO Bloomberg Vice News HBO HuffPost TMZ CNET NPR THR Newsweek TNY Time US News and World Report And The Guardian.

[@crackaby7075]

@@jimluvsgene and Russia Today.

[@crackaby7075]

@@jimluvsgene and France 24.

[@easymedicinebytmd8247]

Everbody else: I need a haircut! Dr Mike: I need a pedicure!

[@blank-6222]

I wish my dad agreed to let me cut his hair.....😂😂😂

[@haleyhawkins1995]

I can relate I need both

[@terkhenkhbat2168]

I need all SIKE

[@blank-6222]

Wow this comment is getting loved so much...by the I appreciate your channel

[@najlasmith8933]

Easy Medicine by TMD 🤣😭

[@eirinipapagianni7598]

The one where the doctor supposedly asked to bring in his poker buddies was funny until I remembered a story of my mums births. The doctor who was responsible for delivering my brother brought in the delivery room his wife to watch my mum give birth so he could convince her to have a baby with him. My mum wasnt really satisfied with him as a doctor,so she went to a new one when she was having me. The second doctor brought in the delivery room his under-age high-school son to watch a live birth because the kid wanted to go to med school 😂

[@ayishaks6510]

Certainly, watching a woman screaming in labour is absolutely the best way to convince his wife to have a kid. *Eye roll* lol

[@vanderbam2741]

That's shocking. So violating.

[@Jack1994hoo]

Wtf kinda hospital was that? An episode of Scrubs?

[@eirinipapagianni7598]

@@Jack1994hoo a hospital in Greece during the 90s my friend 😂

[@reaganharder1480]

As I understand, when I was born the doctor brought into the room a sandwhich. Because she was called in off her lunch break.

[@TuffMelon]

I just love how The Onion nails the absurd article headlines so well that there's also a subreddit for similarly absurd stories that AREN'T from The Onion.

[@xtensioncordtv1969]

@@timothinev9444 r/nottheonion

[@eagenthorror]

@@rezwittkerchester2055 this is the funniest onion article ive read so far

[@negativeorangutan546]

@@rezwittkerchester2055 wrong comment section

[@popartlover101]

2 things I've learned in this video: 1. His eyes are pretty 2. He can be my doctor any day😂

[@mariee.5912]

He can't be my doctor. 😊

[@stevenqu3]

I learned that he used to do professional poker

[@jacobfrancisco7580]

Simp

[@jacobfrancisco7580]

Simp

[@THEBEANLORD4]

He must be a poptart

[@johnnyfines627]

“You owe me a half hour of my life back.” I’m using this every time I have to talk to dumb people from now on. 😂

[@harveyabel1354]

You do know they're *everywhere*?

[@melissablackwood]

Then you'll waste another half hour trying to explain it to them... because they're dumb.

[@dylannecros3636]

@@melissablackwood then tell them they owe you an hour.

[@johnnyfines627]

@@melissablackwood Or... I don’t explain it at all, and even though I won’t get that half hour back, I’ll save the half hour not explaining it to them. I’ll say I broke even and call it a day.

[@jushiii_146]

Coming from a country with one of the best health insuranceses: I feel so sorry that stuff like that is actually happening in the biggest economy of the world :(

[@ohyeah518]

I can tell you as an a pretty great poker player that the reason they were dark glasses is because your pupils dilate when you see something valuable. Just be sure to get non-reflective ones.

[@devonm042690]

Is it when you see something valuable? Or something that commands your attention; for example something you want? 'Something valuable' sounds awfully nebulous to be something your body has an explicit reaction to.

[@ohyeah518]

@@devonm042690 Absolutely

[@wonk123]

“in the future, humor will be randomly generated” onion: *this seems like a job for me me*

[@moe_1838]

69 likes N I C E

[@dilyuq3714]

Now this looks like job for me so everybody just follow me

[@Kel_Li]

@@dilyuq3714 cuz we need a little controversy, cuz it feels so empty without me

[@rodrigolopezvillegas4272]

hai kazuma desu

[@terkhenkhbat2168]

Hi

[@kenzzzz23]

My favorite: “You owe me a half hour of my life back” I’m a pharmacy tech and I feel this way every time I talk to insurance!

[@hermionehp1100]

My mom says the doctors at insurance companies are the ones who graduated at the bottom of their class and couldn’t get a residency 😂

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

The only people worse than doctors in keeping people waiting is the pharmacist. I'm lucky that I don't need regular medicine but I've been with friends who've asked for me to "quickly" run by the pharmacy to pick up their medicine. Fucking waste of time.

[@TrushaTaneja]

@@mortimerbrewster3671 Just so you know it is highly likely that it's the insurance company keeping the pharmacist held up and delaying your pick up time. Pharmacists and pharmacy technicians do not and cannot control your co-pay, and/or your insurance company's requirements like prior authorizations.

[@lineisdumb6556]

I’m a diabetic and during corona my pharmacy ran out of insulin and we couldn’t get any insulin for hours. My mother literally called three pharmacies and than ended going to the hospital because I was that low on insulin

[@xattix]

@@lineisdumb6556 I'm sorry that happened to you. If 3 pharmacies didn't have your insulin, it sounds like a supply problem. Covid is supposedly causing several drug backorders

[@confusedbubble7948]

I love the sound of his laugh , his laugh are amusing . 😂💕

[@averagemanful]

I are liking it too

[@cinnabonbon]

aveRAGE joe i are in fact liking it to

[@user-bg2hd8xm1y]

And the fact that you don't know what grammar is. Is amusing

[@rasskhovp528]

allie kasarcik incorrect punctuation in the middle of your sentence.

[@cyerripaws8270]

allie kasarcik lol that was uncalled for bruh she just expressed she liked his laugh, u didn’t have to go “WelL youR GrammAr iS AmuSIng”

[@Envrionmela]

I remember one day my doc explained this to me "Hypothetically, eating 5 pounds of carrots is still 5 pounds. And while carrots are good for you, excessive is just as unhealthy as not eating healthily enough"

[@mrinaljoshi294]

Doctor Mike: "honestly all these organs are looking the same to me right now" Me: lol nice one Doctor Mike: Honestly this struggle is real Me:hahah....wait......what?

[@soupisfornoobs4081]

Suddenly, your kidney gets replaced with a heart

[@pranamikaverma]

@@soupisfornoobs4081 oH nOoOoOo

[@r0b0b0t8]

*uh oh*

[@icewater6841]

@@r0b0b0t8 well you only need... wait... MIKE PLEASE EXPLAIN AAAAA

[@olymolly3637]

@@henk-3098 Two lungs, anyone? Two legs, two arms, two ears... two brain hemispheres.... One heart is enough, we're not Kaijus. C'mon man.

[@jamesmason7979]

"Never tell them any of your symptoms." 😂😂😂

[@kevinlandrini6799]

just play a little game of guessing. lets see if you can guess what hurts doc! they start hitting you in every place possible lol

[@garcia9903]

@@kevinlandrini6799 ohh dude, your comment is brilliant 😂

[@pranaya_boru]

“Do you want to live or die” 😂😂

[@outtathepantry]

May i take the latter?

[@aayhanjurir8590]

@@outtathepantry :( you ok there?

[@TruckTaxiMoveIt]

You'll be surprised

[@Negasuki]

@@outtathepantry You'd have to go out and protest in public without a mask for that atm :P

[@GlitterC8k]

That's a harder question these days.

[@dimestorepoet]

I love how Sam always has to be explaining jokes in the background

[@mariaregalado3894]

WHEN IS THE CHEST COMPRESSION MERCH COMING DOCTOR MIKE. IM TIRED OF THE GAMES.

[@hippityhoppity657]

"I'M NOT PLAYIN THESE GAMES"

[@ChuckADickiner]

Nobody to compress your chest during quarantine? That's rough.

[@davecrupel2817]

Reg Aint playin' no GAMES!

[@magicsforce]

Maria reg is right to throw dem hands

[@sachadominique4648]

"Dr. Scholl's Introduces New Freeze-Away Toe Remover" Dr. Mike : "oh I have this thing" 😂😂😂😂 sure you do

[@kulcsocska]

I read this then that part came😂😂

[@champagneproblemz7386]

@Emmelene Perencevich Exactly 🤦😂😂😂

[@sachadominique4648]

@Emmelene Perencevich ik

[@johan.ohgren]

Sounds like a severe case of frostbite to me😏...

[@ameliecarre4783]

This "you owe me half an hour of my life back" is so perfectly expressed. If only they actually had to pay for the time wasted.

[@MoogieB]

But it evens out with the time patients wait to see the doc!

[@hkr667]

I once had to pay 44 cents for medication. The printing of the bill and electronic payment costs more >

[@ameliecarre4783]

@@MoogieB I don't think so, no.

[@kevinlandrini6799]

i can imagine a story based on a society where people pay for things with time and not money. it sounds familiar. is there actually a book like that?

[@ameliecarre4783]

@@kevinlandrini6799 I think there's a movie. With Justin Timberlake. I haven't seen it so I'm not sure but time is a currency of sort. And when you're poor, you run out of time and you die.

[@azeemtravadi6128]

"never reveal any of your symptoms" simulated patients in the OSCE: "write that down, write that down!"

[@staceyk2274]

🤣 too relatable!

[@windalock9689]

I'm sad that he missed "after successfully stopping his patient's heart"

[@mjolnirsoul9214]

nono, doctors do that for medical procedures

[@slcRN1971]

My husband had open heart surgery and his heart was stopped in order to get a heart valve replacement. He was connected to a heart-lung bypass machine for awhile. Scary time! FYI: He’s fine and back to working out again every day.

[@sabahhasbi3765]

@@mjolnirsoul9214 but it was stopped for the entire night.. then the doctor came back for it the next mornin

[@mjolnirsoul9214]

@@sabahhasbi3765 well yes that's the joke there but I was just pointing out that doctors do in fact stop hearts during surgeries

[@sabahhasbi3765]

@@mjolnirsoul9214 well yea I just pointed out the fact that it's not the same circumstances.

[@vaishnaviravikrishna2039]

I felt an ungodly amount of joy at hearing the bee-woop again!

[@fizzy7527]

Sameeeeeeeee

[@pokeround]

"Doctor, I've got a pain in my kiddlies!" "Do you mean kidneys?" "That's what I said, diddle I?"

[@Maurycy5]

Sauce: Kurt Vonnegut, "When Mortals Sleep"... kinda...

[@pokeround]

@@Maurycy5 Ah, interesting! I was thinking of Tommy Cooper.

[@salamjihad3449]

@Mahdin Bhuiyan ITS TRUE !! I GAVE HER $300 !!!!!

[@dawn8293]

Isn’t that the joke from Star Trek? Love it!

[@seaotter4439]

I feel like I'm having a stroke

[@VaSoapman]

"I'm worried about this one going on that Alex Jones show" That aged well.

[@NutellaBukkake]

That “beewoop” gave me more serotonin than my stimulus check.

[@MadellaBeauty]

saaammmeee!

[@michaelachetty7556]

The accuracy! 😂😂

[@onceinabluemoon3264]

“Nutritionists reveal humans with proper diet should not be defecating” IDK why I laughed so much but at least my anxiety was reduced👍🏻

[@onceinabluemoon3264]

I didn’t expect my comment to be hearted thanks❤️

[@prpitprp4927]

Now your allertness increased

[@onceinabluemoon3264]

PRPITPRP lol

[@AxxLAfriku]

GAGAGAGAGAAGAG this is wonderful! PRANK! It is terrible! I looked in the mirror and saw something UNPRETTY: my face. GAGAGAGAG! But I am happy again because I have TWO HOT GIRLFRIENDS and I make cool YT videos with them! Good evening, love and peace, dear op

[@Shrubbist]

I wonder if this is a reference to a claim by some raw vegans that if you are eating right you won't have periods. (If you're unfamiliar, you should google it. It's hilariously stupid)

[@dannydethanos6994]

Straight up ask your doctor if they’ve ever killed a man on purpose. “Hey doc.. you ever done that to a patient”. Best line ever

[@haroldwilkes6608]

Scarier would be, by accident?

[@deusexaethera]

"Yes, but just once, and only because he wouldn't stop asking for free Oxy's. It was only a matter of time before he ODed anyway, I just sped things up a bit."

[@rk4397]

My grandmother was a nurse at Charity Hospital in New Orleans in the 1890s. A child was brought in with rabies. The doctor smothered the child.

[@deusexaethera]

@@rk4397: That's awful. But with rabies there really isn't any other option; even with supportive care until the infection subsides, there will be severe lifelong disability.

[@vanderbam2741]

@@rk4397 ohhhh that's so sad 😞

[@floatingeyeballs44]

My favorite Onion article was one they put out years ago (early 2000's) that said the FDA had approved salmonella for human consumption. I showed it to some of my relatives, who were outraged! Lol

[@istoOi]

1:42 "... Success is not paying for customers' medical care" The World*: lol *The US: Wait, where's the joke?

[@TheCatgirl]

i still don't understand the joke 😭

[@beno1996ac]

Health insurance companies have customers paying a monthly or a yearly fee for a certain type of health insurance so that when they go to see a doctor or to the hospital they just pay a fraction of the price on medication and treatments. The problem is, health insurance companies have a lot of particularities to try to get out of actually paying for the treatments and medication like Dr. Mike's story about his patient. In other places like Europe, people are already insured by their government so they don't have to pay for healthcare or have personal health insurance, unlike in the US

[@idkidkidkidkidkid]

@@TheCatgirl America makes people pay. I dunno how many countries don't make you but I know Australia has free health care

[@melisa6609]

portia uk too! Free healthcare over here✌️

[@goattheoak]

portia so does New Zealand

[@NHSnavigators]

OMG! I encountered a patient today.. after greeting him, I asked him how he's feeling now ( he had taken medication for a sore throat 10 days ago) and he responded, " YOU TELL ME? " I was confused, so I asked him again, "do you have any symptoms right now" He said, "If I answer everything, what will you do? Should I do your job for you?" I tried to explain to him that I can't treat him if I don't know how he's feeling/what his symptoms are.. He just bluntly said, "it's your job to know how I'm feeling" As if we're psychics 🙄🙄

[@davitdavid7165]

What do you mean the nerveus system helps a lot when diagnosing problems?

[@Math-pu4qo]

You should know how they feel, you should know as the doctor, duh.

[@Fletchawk]

I hear giving children a lollipop makes them a lot more cooperative.

[@iliadnetfear2586]

Come on, Egghead! You got the papers on the wall, so you tell me.

[@icarokaue7334]

"I'm gonna call a partner" "oH aRe You ThAT iNcoMpetENT" "No, they're a vet, the only doctor who can know what a patient is feeling without asking"

[@cami8144]

Poker players: wear dark glasses so they don’t show what card they are actually looking at and the opponent can’t find out their strategy Also poker players: wear dark reflective glasses showing which cards they have Me: *facepalm*

[@ianmoseley9910]

Camila Asenia Cejas Perhaps they could have virtual glasses that show opponents false reflectiions?

[@brittanywoodman6559]

Don’t touch you face! 😂

[@raprista4440]

@@brittanywoodman6559 virtual facepalm XD

[@cami8144]

Brittany Woodman too late 😂😂

[@cami8144]

Ian moseley Smithers bring that man I’m going to make him executive vice-president

[@L._Diaz]

The 'bringing interns in for observation' made me laugh out loud for real! When I was delivering my twins, my doctor was golfing with his 13 year old son. He not only asked if he can bring in the interns, but he asked if his son could just sit quietly in the corner in the back of the room because he wants to be a doctor when he grows up! Of course, by that time, EVERY woman is like, ' Yes! Whatever! Stop talking let's get these babies out!' So you KNOW how crowded that delivery room was! Each baby had their own set of nurses and other staff, plus 7 interns, plus his kid sitting in the corner on a plastic chair. It was crazy, man! lol! :)

[@VictoriaHatzson]

2:33 Imagine someone taking this seriously and going to a doctor's office like "So what symptoms do YOU think brought me here today???"

[@IceMetalPunk]

Me, not a doctor, but if I were a doctor: "Good question. I think I'll refer you to a psychiatrist for those symptoms you have..."

[@yfrufeyfryd2129]

Doctor: does it start with A?

[@alicehermioneannabeth]

I work at a book store and too many times people want me to magically know which book they're talking about. "It had a dog and a sunset on the cover..." And such examples

[@valesth4903]

@@alicehermioneannabeth When you're waitressing and people tell you to bring them something you think they'd like 🙄

[@celeniareyes4443]

Victoria Hatzson lmfaoooo!!!!!!

[@ezurachan]

"You owe me half hour of my life back". I'm so sorry Doc Mike for your loss.

[@addie-eileenpaige6460]

I'll take an half hour over the two hours I spent on the phone with unemployment.

[@dynamicworlds1]

Tell me more about how health insurance companies make our system more efficient.

[@alejandrinar.971]

Addie-Eileen Paige At least you get to call them. They’re not taking calls in my state.

[@mikekazz5353]

Ah I was just gonna waste it anyways.

[@3DJapan]

The toe remove made me think of a a clip from the old MTV animated series Liquid Television. They did a fake commercial for Lee Press-on Limbs. In case an arm falls off you can just apply a Lee Press-on replacement.

[@allisonavery7273]

Lovely

[@gtw4546]

It made me think of Grimm's version of Cinderella.

[@Rugelacharugula]

I could not have Dr. Mike as my physician. I would constantly be mesmerized by his impossibly fantastic hair.

[@annushkavarshavski9107]

"you owe me half an hour of my life back" YEAH, TELL 'EM😂

[@FkD814]

I feel that way with a lot of the people I have to deal with at work.

[@a.n.l.aantineoliberalismas4504]

I think they owe him more than tha

[@breadbunny4325]

Tip to survive “homework” 1. Don’t go to the hospital 2. Chest compressions! 3.Chest compressions! 4. Chest compressions! 5. You have survived! And thank you for everyone who has liked this comment!

[@ayyylmao101]

Thank you!

[@onceinabluemoon3264]

Why doesn’t this have more likes??????

[@gavinreed7262]

LMAO THANK YOU

[@bozozium]

CHEST COMPRESSION INTENSIFIES

[@breadbunny4325]

Thanks so much for all these likes!

[@YokoshimaSTAR]

His voice is soooo satisfying.

[@emilytrost4123]

I liked and then took it back but only to keep the likes at 100

[@qwerty1234-t9q]

@@mariejuana8246 DUDE....... he also LOOKS like one a dreamy one, tho

[@sofaiaia]

Smoke Weed dude stop be nice

[@raawesome3851]

Its so funny how the Onion has purchased Alex Jones' website.

[@lauranorwar]

“I’ve used this product. I had a....” **synapse occurs** Disregard.

[@TheVisconator4700]

"The key to success is not paying the patient's health insurance" That's not even a joke anymore. They make money by denying care.

[@btaylerpackard2475]

*save money

[@MadellaBeauty]

yep

[@diablominero]

Satire is "playfully critical distortion of the familiar." In this case the familiar is health insurance screwing patients, and the playfully critical distortion was having the company actually admit it.

[@yvrelna]

"Health insurance CEO reveals key to company's success is not paying for customer's medical care" I think sometimes Onion forgets that they're supposed to be satirical news site, not real news.

[@JohnA...]

The sad part is that most people who buy insurance (of any kind) don't seem to understand that very simple point. They aren't there to help you, they are there to make money first by any means, including screwing you over if they don't think you can fight them.

[@afterburn2600]

I've been reading The Onion since it was only a print newspaper in Madison, WI, and it's always been fantastic. Unrelated to health but my favorite article was Tips to Stay Cool in the Summer, and their suggestions included such gems as "Wear a tinfoil hat," "Buy a Celsius thermometer to enjoy temperatures that rarely exceed 40 degrees," and "Stay in your dank cave and guard your precious."

[@LL-rk5lv]

Dr Mike looks like superman? Who agrees?

[@Biden_is_demented]

Pooping is hip. All the cool kids are doing it.

[@creature8911]

L L • yes

[@creature8911]

Darth Mucus 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@07Sethy]

I'm not so sure, but he definitely looks like that guy Clark Kent.

[@ahhh4117]

Ugh wow he really does did u read his think-piece on vigilante justice? It’s a good thing he doesn’t work in Gotham

[@nicolemurphy758]

I can't be the only person who would listen to Mike read an entire dictionary and not get bored.

[@mina4426]

or listening to him laugh

[@lunacraveswifi7192]

He could narrate my entire life out loud and I still wouldn't want him to shut up

[@biscuitbitch5608]

Me too

[@hummingbirdspark3998]

Nicole Murphy he just had one of those voices

[@adrees]

“You owe me a half hour of my life back” OMG this is a funny joke but it succinctly points out the problem of doctors wasting too much time filling out paperwork and trying to get insurance to pay!

[@vitaluka1854]

I'm kind of surprised that the insurance is the doctors problem to make them pay. I would imagine that would be the person's problem not the doctor's.

[@ameliecarre4783]

@@vitaluka1854 The doctors help. Because they know how, and the patients don't.

[@Negasuki]

@@vitaluka1854 that patient must have went back saying "I need something else unless you can get my insurance to pay for this." and the doctor was like "Challenge Accepted!"

[@darlingdahlia1109]

Its the doctors responsibility if they are in network with your insurance (in the US). If they are out of network, they can just bill whatever they want to you.

[@ThatGirlJD]

@@vitaluka1854 It's called a Prior Authorization or worse a Formulary Exeption. The pharmacy initiates the process when the insurance sends a message saying the medication requires a prior authorization to be covered. The doctors office is faxed the forms through the computer system automatically. The doctor usually fills out the form and faxes it back to the insurance company. The form explains why the patient needs that particular medication instead of another medication that is on the preferred tier list of medication formulary. If the insurance still doesn't cover the medication the pharmacy calls the insurance company to find out what is going on. Then they send a message to the doctor's office to explain what the insurance company told them. The doctor who is usually irritated that the insurance company is "playing doctor" calls the insurance company and they resolve the issue. Sometimes the resolution is another medication, sometimes it is the insurance company paying for the original prescribed medication.

[@mery5989]

the fact that even you actually bleached your teeth when you were young makes the "too white teeth in the us" stereotype make perfect sense. I have never heard of anyone doing that here, it sounds dangerous

[@gooseducktunguska425]

It sounds weird

[@vilu2274]

*talks about the Freeze-Away Toe* Dr. Mike: Oh, I have this thing! KZbin-community: *facepalms* no, you don't

[@sylverdoqqo]

Vilde Lunden I thought he was deliberately joking until he said it got him haha

[@THATVisi]

On the “poker buddies” one. When I had meningitis, the hospital was out of beds, so they performed my spinal tap in the nurses’ break room. During lunch.

[@Daviticus042]

THIS IS SPINAL TAP

[@cageybee7221]

"ladies, please do not confuse the water tap with the spinal tap, we still haven't paid the lawsuits from last time."

[@abbyroad5169]

@@cageybee7221 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm dead.

[@raspberryjuiceentertainmen719]

@@Daviticus042 I see another spinal tap fan is here

[@napoleonbonaparte7529]

What's a spinal tap?

[@hanabee7283]

Dr. Mike: "If you overbleach your teeth, it will make your teeth sensitive and it will hurt. Be careful" Ross: *nervous sweating*

[@deusexaethera]

"Friends" reference?

[@hanabee7283]

@@deusexaethera yep haha

[@kckirkify]

@@hanabee7283 If a “Friends” reference leaves itself out there with no protection, it SHALL BE TAKEN. No prisoners saved.

[@gabyefg]

I read it while he was saying it! 😀

[@ericawillis.]

"yeah, your teeth? I could see them from outside" love it

[@Martcapt]

Don't worry, the Onion now owns Alex Jones

[@MicahRion]

Wait how was the medical insurance one on the Onion it's just true! (in the USA at least)

[@elderwanda]

The line between satire and reality gets disturbingly thinner every day.

[@chrismalone2136]

Because the Ceo admitted it. They would never do that.

[@0Clewi0]

"‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens" Sometimes the joke is the honesty.

[@tsg712-t7e]

“None of the headlines are true” The Onion a month ago: Trump is gonna recommend injecting disinfectant

[@grapejuice8807]

XDDD

[@ayyylmao101]

Ahhhh, when satire becomes reality...

[@Maya-rg3bm]

its where trump must get his news lmao

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

He was talking about a UV injection treatment that blasts your lungs with light.

[@ShovelChef]

Gr3nadgr3gory, I can't tell if you're joking. I saw the clip everyone saw.

[@ChaosPan]

I'm glad to hear about the new safety measures for newborns. I was almost stolen as my mum recovered. The babynapper was posing as a nurse and when my mum brought up this other "nurse" to the one who actually worked there, mum found out the other was not someone working at the hospital. We changed rooms and went home very quickly after that. :)

[@cursedcat6467]

9:09 this is why I under eat unhealthy

[@ryan1696]

So a doctor can't say, "This guy is lying, but I cannot indulge you in further details of his exam due to patient privacy."

[@facelytavarez2021]

I think it has to do that HIPPA even extends to not even saying the patients name. The Doctor can’t say the name’s of their patients

[@blakew5672]

@@facelytavarez2021 It extends to anything that could be used to identify a patient. Doesn’t even have to be a name. It could be any combination of “evidence” you could pool together that could be linked to a particular person.

[@jessiejanson1528]

What about "Im not saying im this guys dr, because doctors cant legally admit that. but if he was really telling the truth he would also give consent here for his dr to talk about this so he could legally respond. Because of these laws, this guy could literally say anything without his dr being able to respond."

[@ArtyMcKenzie]

Yeah no. I have a doctors who I sent my mom to. The doc knows I sent my mom. My mom mentioned me and the doc immediately said "I can't confirm or deny their attendance at my practice." They literally can't even confirm you were there.

[@magics902]

Saying they're lying is confirming they saw them or didn't see them this would be the first violation of the rule. Secondly saying they're lying now indicates what may or may not have gone on in the appointment. Second violation of the rule. Now lets contextualize that this is ON THE INTERNET. Posting ANY patient information on a public online forum is a HUGE rule violation. HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) is known for it's privacy guidelines and commonly referred to for patient and Dr. confidentiality. But the other major point of the Act is actually about legally sharing patient information! When a Dr. refers a patient to another practice or a specialist the information that IS confidential must be shared. How it is shared (secure online portals, or direct faxes, etc etc) is actually the majority of what HIPAA details. Also how that data is maintained in physical records and digital records (like within a hospital for access by hospital staff, but only the ones who work directly on that patient) and on and on that type of stuff.

[@whoyoulookingatabs1028]

Mike: This is Sarcastic also Mike: Explains why they are wrong in every possible way

[@krisymac3514]

I like that he explain them

[@IkuTree]

Honestly needed this. Struggling in confinement here, it couldn't have happened at a worse time since I was days away from moving abroad so had already given up my flat, job etc. Luckily was able to get the flat back for a few months but now landlord is saying they found someone to move in so... time to fight to keep my home I guess? Even though jobless and pretty much living like a squatter since all my stuff is in boxes in storage. I need a break from this mess. Gonna binge some of your meme reviews now and hope things resolve themselves in the meantime. Not sure about happy but definitely staying healthy!

[@stonywings5888]

I wish you the best in getting it all resolved!

[@roku401]

6:06 Watching this in 2024, the Onion owns Alex Jones' as*...

[@lamcb.9476]

7:11 meanwhile over here in Holland, when my mom had her denture made she asked the specialist to make them not super white, like a bit yellow like any normal set of teeth are, and a bit crooked / uneven as well cause she didn’t want a fake bleached white smile. and the specialist was so surprised cause he hadn’t been asked to do that in years and he was really looking forward on making them for her

[@MuthaMuthr]

kinda bizarre. did she pay out of pocket or insurance coverage? i wouldnt wanna pay for yellow and crooked teeth.

[@mils9495]

Mar Mohamed they probably aren’t that crooked or yellow, just natural looking

[@ThatGirlJD]

My grandmother explained that dentures are supposed to look natural as a child. Hers were as you described your mother's. They looked just like her real teeth. Not perfect and not white like a ten year old's teeth

[@Hello-qg4yk]

Mar Mohamed not yellow yellow but yellow enough so it doesnt look bleached and not perfect teeth. i wouldnt want perfect teeth. Just normal looking ones

[@darylesese]

That’s actually kinda smart

[@anodosarcade7355]

"Healthy humans dont need to defecate" Dr. Kellog strikes again!

[@draconicepic4124]

So that's how North Korean leaders do it!

[@synp9ynir]

No. Doctor Kellogg instructed his followers to defecate 4 times a day.

[@TruckTaxiMoveIt]

Poo green my friend

[@loedof]

Damn! At 6:03 : That video aged like a fine wine! It was meant to be

[@SuperKellie77]

When all my sentences start with “Dr. Mike says...

[@SaraFidus]

Same girl same

[@shinoharagarcia4769]

True!

[@danarasworld]

omg me too 🤦‍♀️

[@ambersquirrel2514]

The last one seems like a legit conversation after the guy gets home "Hey honey how was your day?" "I got to use the shock paddles and go BZZ BZZ just like on tv"

[@cat_person]

Mike's Caption: *Defibrillator* Mike: "Defibulator."

[@megarayquaza2240]

6:06 This line is infinitely funnier now

[@WardOfSouls]

Had to like for the capsule vs tablet story. After dealing with insurance companies and their authorization crosswalk tables, that felt a little too real.

[@davidwitzany5852]

It's not just a story, it happened to me when I changed insurance companies. Luckily for my doctor, I'm the one who spent the half-hour on the phone.

[@carmen_says_hi]

I work in a pharmacy. Sometimes when we bill online the insurance company will give us the rejection with alternatives or let us know to use caps/tabs instead. Sometimes.

[@steffenjensen422]

Btw, this is another problem solved with universal healthcare. Why have to choose between the insurance covering tabs and the one doing capsules when you can have just one providing whatever the doctor thinks is better for you? Or yourself. With government healthcare I literally got asked if I wanted it to swallow or to drink or as powder or whatever. That's the kind of choice I want.

[@Plaid5912]

"The Onion is a satirical news site" *Proceeds to treat the news articles seriously*

[@cortster12]

Taking jokes seriously is a form of humor, it's great.

[@justcallmeeastia7947]

Very reassuring too

[@everydayfixer8446]

Honestly with the way nutritionists are, I could see the one in the intro being a real artical.

[@stringtheoryx]

CEO: "The key to companies success is not paying for customers' medical care." Well, that one was been in regular news headlines recently.

[@gracesmith5961]

Dr Mike : CHEST COMPRESSIONS CHEST COMPRESSIONS CHEST COMPRESSIONS his shirt : CHEST COMPRESSIONS CHEST COMPRESSIONS CHEST COMPRESSIONS

[@theblackvalkyrie69]

*“If doctors have crows feet, it means they care.”* - Dr Mike, 2021

[@Gaehhn]

That left me confused for a second, because I thought he was talking about caltrops...

[@MigattenoBlakae]

@@GaehhnLMAO

[@ashleyball9675]

"You know, not everybody likes onions" - Donkey, 2003.

[@cloakedbadger9762]

Everyone likes Parfaits though

[@ashleyball9675]

@@cloakedbadger9762 Partfaits are delicious!

[@vanessamacdonald5376]

"CAKE! everybody loves cake, cakes have layers"

[@prembikram1652]

Because it has layers??

[@denise8791]

I dont care what everyone likes!! Ogres are not like cakes!

[@finley7906]

doctor mike is like the love interest in a cheap romance novel and honestly, im here for it

[@IrelandFyre]

The poker buddies headline reminded me of a time when I was 18 and I woke up with a 103 degree (F) fever and trouble swallowing so I went to a clinic. The doctor took a look in my throat and then calmly asked if she could bring her colleague in. I told her she could and a few minutes later she came back with EVERY doctor that worked there. They all took turns looking in my throat before she, again very calmly, said she was going to take me to the hospital across the street. She put me in a wheelchair and rushed me to their emergency room and straight into the back where there were several more doctors waiting to look in my throat. Turns out I had a huge abscess on/in my right tonsil. I'm not sure if that was weird or if it looked weird or why it was so fascinating but they weren't even sure how to treat it. I was told they would try antibiotics and steroids and, if that didn't work, drain it with a needle. Luckily it didn't come to that... But yeah, that was a LOT of people looking inside my mouth 😆

[@abbyroad5169]

Why all the doctors I don't think it was a throat class.

[@IrelandFyre]

Oh my, I never got notified about these responses, I'm sorry 😐 but yeah, she got everyone to take a look because they'd never seen it before so it was a combination of letting them all get a look so they'd recognize it in the future and getting a second opinion on case someone else knew how to fix it. But yeah, it was pretty serious and I was extremely sick I'm just not sure what exactly about what was happening was alerting them to the strangeness. I'm guessing that it happened over night and how sick I was, because I was very sick, weak, could barely move but also couldn't sit still because my entire body hurt so bad. It was rough

[@IrelandFyre]

@@ejane2112 that is crazy! I've never heard of anyone else having that experience. Honestly I'm happy that medications worked and I didn't need any invasive procedures

[@sa.w.s.3070]

It happened to me once during my yearly check of moles. There were already a bunch of students in the room but when the doctor pointed out one specific mole being "remarkable", more were called in to look at it. I was even asked if they could take picture of it but no one bothered to tell me what was going on. After I asked myself, the doctor assured it was nothing abnormal or dangerous but "something you do not see everyday" so she wanted her students to look at it. I am pretty sure the whole university was there XD. I also wonder if my "remarkable mole" ended up in a textbook, thesis or paper XD

[@TheReaverOfDarkness]

Yeah when you become a fascinating specimen, they all wanna use you for training. I found out if you opt to let trainee phlebotomists work on your plasma donation, they might try to get all the trainees in on you on different days.