Documentary on arranged marriage | "The Only Son" - by Simonka de Jong

[@meemeezong1827]

My favorite about this film is how the siblings taught themselves to love each other, even being worlds apart, they remain true to their family bonds.

[@phyllisbarr4766]

yes indeed beautiful story

[@nosiphontshangase2367]

Absolutely beautiful. The love they have for each other is wonderful to see.

[@susiearviso3032]

Yeah that's one good thing. Next.

[@cheapskatepanic]

I wish my daughter would keep a relationship going with her siblings like this.

[@rubyruby6358]

This part is truly amazing.

[@pragathithiru8665]

He is lives in Amsterdam and a professional photographer and one of his sisters is an 3d artist ...! So proud of them

[@dddila]

Really? That's a really good update

[@UniqueNovelties4U]

Thanks for the update, I wonder was he able to help his parents even though he followed his own heart..

[@lilyr7221]

That’s a wonderful update..so happy to hear he follow his dreams even though it will make his parents unhappy. I grew up almost the same only I’m a girl and my parents expect me to marry and have many children. I too follow my heart and dreams. My parents were not happy and disowned me for many years. I’m still happy at the choices I made. I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t follow my dreams for better education and life!

[@perlitapaguyo636]

Smart decision he follow his dream and happiness.

[@cjleetine]

❣️

[@christinepoole4628]

You cannot send your children away to be raised elsewhere and expect them to stay connected. It seems to me that the sadness the children feel is that the family cannot remain whole. It is a clash of culture, city vs village, educated vs uneducated. I could not have imagined a community this isolated or an agrarian lifestyle this difficult. This film was a real eye-opener. Well done!

[@GuruRasaVonWerder]

there are some problems here only God can figure

[@IamBrendaMarie]

We know that they still love us and we love them too. But there is something about being raised by another person.

[@Wisdom143-f1h]

So true..we can't expect children to continue what the parent have started.. children are individual of their own..

[@mgatroops4709]

True. I noticed something in the beds of younger sisters. There are pictures of everyone but not mother and father. Maybe I'm wrong but you can't blame them if it's true.

[@IamBrendaMarie]

@@Wisdom143-f1h That's what I tell my friends and family. Our dreams are not our children' dreams. So stop building dreams for our children. We need to encourage them to build their own dreams and support them where needed or possible. I have come across People Who are so disappointed thst when their children finished their education, do help their parents fulfil their parents dreams but start a life of their own.

[@jazmynduckworth977]

Pema is the brother we all wish we had! what a beautiful soul he is! incredible documentary!

[@mariasaracammarata3678]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@zackingthe]

Poor parents what the done to deserve ungrateful son like him ashamed 😔

[@Omagatsuhi]

Their parents loved them enough for the father to walk a month to carry them over the high passes and rugged trails to the orphanage to ensure their survival. It is not the fault of the children not to want to return to that life. It is a very sad dilemma.

[@annnilsson501]

True so the lives evolve.... and the society development happens.....

[@PeterSimonYiu]

One day when they are 60 years. Their hearts would bring them back. By then their parents would not be there anymore. Sad.

[@glennacordill8028]

@@goskaes5468 You are so right. They didn't raise their children. They didn't feed and provide for them. They left them at an orphanage, with good reason perhaps. And those children should not be shamed into returning, also with good reason.

[@ausraczaja618]

@@PeterSimonYiu,nobody knows if they gonna reach their 60,nor me and you. Only God knows.

[@pucka_ak47]

don't be sorry for the father in my opinion he done that so when they grow up strong come back to work on the fields the back breaking work, so his attentions were not realy good...

[@NikeAdeO]

was it just me or I felt like these were children ANY parent should be proud to have..... the way the boy cares for his siblings and loves on his sister's kids..... I was touched

[@pegmarinello3188]

159 likes, 0 thumbs down. Maybe there's hope for this world yet!

[@pamcarson1180]

I totally agree. I'm just so happy he stood his ground and followed his heart. I cant imagine how hard it was to say no to his parents.

[@selamatiso2009]

@@pegmarinello3188 youtube doesnt show the dislikes on comments

[@theresabraddock9310]

ungrateful they all are. they didnt like feeling guilty about their laziness and couldnt wait to leave.

[@lizschuller6894]

They should start a go fund me

[@alisonirwin109]

This documentary deserves an award. Filmed with honesty and integrity we learn how not to judge the decisions of our cousins who cherish their own culture and have fewer choices, and how despite living a life of sacrifice a young man can dream for himself and his siblings. Both siblings like photography and I hope will be given the sponsorship to document the world of their roots and share it with the world.

[@lynzapanta9624]

So beautifully documented. Truly, this deserves an award. While we feel the heartbeats of the parents, the children too deserves a break...

[@gracenorman8994]

The only thing I can say is that I am truly sorry. So sad. The young man is the miracle and didn’t even know it.

[@familytsedupmemories...6931]

Deserved best documentary film 🎥

[@SaripHappyLife]

SAD STORY 😢

[@brigettewollffs6031]

@@gracenorman8994 an unspoiled family who have spread out and when they meet, they struggle to speak to each other, not sharing a common language. It is beautiful and it makes my heart ache with tenderness for them...

[@cassaundraanderson4111]

The father.. holding the hand of the daughter with the “weak” back… down the mountain.. oh man.. my heart. That father loves those kids

[@JJ-yu6og]

The son, Pema, is only 19 yrs old, yet he's so wise and so deep. Wiser than most adults over 60. His heart knows what love is. His love and appreciation for his young sisters is evident. He acts more like their grandfather.

[@Eduardedb]

Why don’t you marry him

[@philisbramlett6890]

This is remarkably documented , family values even when left at the hands of an older brother with a soul of an " Elder beyond his years " . He quite literally raised his sisters to believe in the depth of Love and Respect for their family who literally were dropped off at an orphanage one by one. I understas nd the belief in our traditions, holding on in what we've been taught , what worked . But, when it that tradition fails us us we must modify it for our childrens safety and future generations to carry on. One question... why couldn' his parents move to a closer village to help them? Or request help from those villagers their father was so dedicated to ? He was truly respectful of his children's decisions. The photography and the documentary was

[@philisbramlett6890]

Were excellent. So true to even modern day societies in isolated areas etc.I should stop here... I can not stop crying . It is not in isolated areas . It is and can be your next door nieghbors

[@dennislalla8623]

Even their parents abandoned them.they ate going nsvk

[@dennislalla8623]

That's true love

[@susanarustemova4839]

He is such a smart man. He isn't only thinking about his life but also his little sisters. I admire young people, who really try to study, get good education, and appreciate the life.

[@hilaryc3203]

He clearly loves children, because he greeted all the kids at the Kathmandu home and in the village. He will be a good dad one day.

[@claudiamarialezama7319]

I love this boy so much, smart and kind spirit .

[@6RGyan]

Study for what… to become a better part of this whole corrupt system and all the daily miseries of urban life that comes with it. Maybe you are living a great privileged life and which is why you think that all the uneducated people are unappreciative of their lives!!!! Good god. U r much more ignorant than you may think you are. Seems you need to educate yourself much more.

[@susanarustemova4839]

@@6RGyan I am really sorry that you think everything is corrupted. I don't come from a wealthy family, but it didn't stop me from getting good education.

[@hilaryc3203]

@@6RGyan Study for what? Your comment is absurd, blind and angry. There are so many fantastic jobs in the world which allows the people who have them, to help other individuals and entire communities. No one here is unappreciative of uneducated people, why would you even say that? They do jobs that are necessary, but who keeps the water coming to their villages and small towns? Engineers. Who keeps the drinking water clean? Science and more engineers. Who invents new equipment to make farming easier? More engineers. Whose education cut down the mortality rate in childbirth? Doctors. Who teaches them to read and write? Teachers? Who gave them access to the internet so they could get on youtube and scream about corrupt systems? IT Guys. You do NOT need to be wealthy to be educated and not all educated people live in urban environments. And not all urban environments are miseries. Break out of the little box you have put yourself in and explore the world.

[@deeasinero]

This documentary made me cry for many reasons 😭 The pressure and expectations from parents… the burden the parents are carrying… the dangerous and uncertain conditions for children in the village… the perspective about education.. Compared to their situation, I am really blessed 😭

[@victoriachamsedine3083]

6

[@iwantmy_sk844]

@@victoriachamsedine3083 "6"?🙃

[@elainer-sio6813]

​@@victoriachamsedine3083q++++1

[@mkate1947]

Having traditional parents and living a life where you want better, you can see everyone’s perspective. It’s just a sad situation for everyone. But I love that their brother thinks well for them and himself. I love how his father went to receive them and sent them all the way back. A 10 day walking journey is crazy! I hope their mother finds peace.

[@endlessluvv4u]

He's a good son and a very good example to his sisters. He comforted and gave them advice. His family is everything for him. Hope he'll reach his goals in life.

[@isabelchu7063]

You cannot mix rural life and education together. This man's mother is refusing to go with her son just because she is thinking for herself and what people will say if tradition is not continued. You cannot send your children to school and then expect them to remain rural and follow tradition. Tradition makes people slaves to themselves. It makes people dumb and blind. Some people cannot understand life in any other way. You can take a person out of a bush but you cannot take the bush out of person. I

[@healthrecord508]

@@isabelchu7063 some may say education makes one a slave to "self advancement" at the cost of all who've contributed to their upbringing.. disreguarding their sacrifices, no? There are many many aspects to this families situation and none here can make a final judgement on a proper outcome for these people. It saddens me either way. Maybe one day we will all make good and perfect decisions for ourselves and those we effect in our lives. Be blessed.

[@pegmarinello3188]

@@healthrecord508 thankfully you took the time for this post. Saying perfectly what i was thinking. There are always people judging. Looking at one side of things. It can't be helped its human nature. Built into the brain. A survival mechanism i believe. Nobody has the time or patience to look at both sides., or should i say many sides. For that you have my admiration!

[@taurusbullheaded8558]

@@isabelchu7063 very true. When they send them to another country it should have been expected that their mentally is not going to be the same. They are more broad minded and very educated.

[@taurusbullheaded8558]

@@healthrecord508 The moment the parents decided to send their kids to another country at a very young age, they should have prepared themselves that their children is not going to be the same. Do they really expect them to be same? They should have known that even before deciding to send them to another country. These kids adapted a different practices while growing, they were mold differently from their culture and practices.. Once a clay is molded and hardened, if you try to remold it, it will break. And I totally agree with the son, you cannot marry a person that you don't love.

[@kelkiegimm2420]

I love how respectful he is being and listening to his parents, while still making his own decisions for his life and explaining in a very mature way his point of view. This is a great documentary.

[@BloodNote]

Right. I almost kept forgetting he was a child in this. He is very wise and mature. And old soul of sorts.

[@antonioginez2060]

Let the parents make his own decisions. Please parents leave him alone.

[@catherinedavies435]

}.

[@octaviobarajas3980]

“That’s a terrible thing to say. Look at what you have been through. When ever I see you you’re always working….Look at your hands. Look at your face. You’re 26 but you look like you’re 40. I sent our sister to school SO THEY WOULDN’T BECOME LIKE YOU.” Where is the respect there?

[@VOUSTUBER]

This documentary shows how selfish the western culture is...all the children exposed to the west speak about what's good for self everyone else speaks of the family...very tragic situation...the parents didn't understand the family suicide they were committing sending their children away.

[@heginlunkim3268]

The silent HERO of the film is their Father.. how he is standing tall and carrying himself .. such a control over emotions .. hatsoff

[@sweetcandy5465]

😭😭😭😭

[@desertkhaat]

not so sure about the father being the "hero" of the film. His wife is left doing ALL the freaking back-breaking task of working the land - he can afford the "equanimity": he's not the one crushed by all the burdens! & he is emotional actually-very affectionate & also in tears when they leave...glad the whole family appears to have come through in the end- & that the sisters received their education! Yaaaaay!

[@heginlunkim3268]

@@desertkhaat I respect your point of view.. and that’s a different perspective and it is absolutely valid. But from what I understand is that, the father being a medical specialist sort of thing for the rural area and the kind of society where they lived i.e what the society thinks of you really matters to them , and they also try to lived upto that expectations , he has little choice to help out in the back-breaking task or say their normal hard labour lifestyles until and unless like an emergency like carrying their 2 kids for 10 days foot journey. He shed tears like a man but never over let out his emotion or try to kill their children’s dreams. Point to be noted here is we may both be wrong altogether in our assumption that the father is not toiling in the field as it is not so clearly bought out in the documentary. Best regards to you.

[@wayfarercryolite4304]

His father is a Buddhist, not only a believer but also a practitioner. He practices mantra when he is walking and sitting. You can see this when he counts the beads and rotates the mantra wheel (or some people call it "prayer wheel"). To understand him, we need to look into Buddhism. In Buddhism, the outside world that one sees is nothing but a reflection of his/her inner mind. This is the truth and all emotions come from the misunderstanding of this truth. Once a person realizes this, all emotions loss their power and cannot control you, just like you would not be amazed by any "flower in the sky".

[@sassy2407]

I agree. This is so sad. Such decisions must be terribly hard on the children

[@rainyseason1975]

The way he takes care of his sisters...love it.

[@Nehabam_Subscribe]

Truth ❤

[@AnjaliD-nb7cr]

Yes.

[@shilpyjain6147]

No-one is wrong here, every one is caught in their own situation. The parents are indigenous people to this land and culture, they do not know anything else other than this place. They are bound to their tradition. Their son is their only hope to take care of them as girls would be married off. This is what happens in this part of the world...But the kids have seen the other part of the world, they are educated, it can’t be undone. They are gone....I feel sad for both parents and the kids..!

[@anumason7623]

Beautiful part of the world but life is very hard. Yes I agree with you and it's very sad I wish them all the very best, and like to think the son will do well in his life and help his parents in someway.

[@uttarakhandpanditji1758]

All the parents have same future rich or poor.

[@uttarakhandpanditji1758]

@Jessica Jones i think she replied him in her sheer frustration as he was not convinced to stay and marriage, no women will be keen to produce 20 kids as even giving birth to one child is physically very painful.

[@sakurankwats]

@@uttarakhandpanditji1758 y

[@nurse956]

U must be indian and who knows how hard this stupid culture is. I am Afghan and family pressure is way too much. Me and my other siblings are being mentally tortured bec we have moved one step forward while parents stuck in same traditions. I always ask my family why did they even gave birth to us? Is it brc girls will marry and so will boys and daughter in law take care for whole life. Even daughters as well. Otherwise u will be considered as bad kids and disowned. I hate these cultures bec i only know what i am going through.

[@sarawilliams9025]

This entire documentary has pulled emotions from me. I cry for the parents, for the sons, for all the daughters. I cry because I’m so privileged and I fail to realize it on a daily basis.

[@desiqueen2009]

Yes, I can relate to that. In the USA, ppl forget how truly lucky they have it. Even if living in a slum neighborhood. You still have hot and cold water, electricity, and a firm roof over ones head. I shudder to think what life is like for the parents alone in winter months. The father leaves most of the time, to get supplies. The mother has to do all the labor. I am sick, I am a lung/heart patient. I can not imagine her torture. 😭

[@motherofdragons5287]

Stop whining and the fake virtue. If you feel this way, do something.

[@motherofdragons5287]

@@desiqueen2009 there’s a difference between privilege and entitlement. Unfortunately, many Americans today feel entitled to stuff, without contributing a thing in return. There are many poor people that contribute in their own community. We should all help the helpless, just not the clueless.

[@sarahkaboya7761]

I live in Uganda and I suddenly feel like we are so blessed! And we generally want our kids to do better in life than were doing

[@sarahkaboya7761]

@@motherofdragons5287 The mom has an option. Her son gave her one. Shes just stubborn.

[@glow_C1]

This is my mom’s village. My mom told me she was also one of the child who was to be adopted but my grandmom refused to send her. She regrets not going to school. I love her as the person she is today. This documentary is so much connected with my mom’s story too. Thankyou for sharing.

[@armaanrampadarath4436]

Amazing that you found it

[@jillmendes3985]

Amazing! I would love to hear more!

[@antJaxStar]

I'm in tears right now😢😶

[@billybonewhacker]

Yeah sure

[@keitharaapril]

is your family name gurung?

[@victoriousvalentine9779]

The father is so sweet, so loving. His kindness surrounds them all.

[@joyofalltrades1239]

I agree. I cried when he walked three days to meet them and 10 days to drop them off.

[@GenevieveWaller-pk3xg]

He is a true father!

[@huldrrrr9486]

The older sister who was raised in the Netherlands seems like an amazing person aswell, so open and supportive

[@yahyayahya9999]

Yes, when she decided to join her brother in the long journey home I realised how amazing her character is, and yes the father is a simple and good man. They are all amazing people, I don't blame their mother either, she suffers too, it is a long tradition there, it is a hard situation. When I read comments informing now the parents had already moved to the city, that means they have given up all their family property in the village, that has been passed for many generations, a hard decision that they cannot avoid, without a son to continue the tradition it's just impossible

[@humanbean1424]

@@yahyayahya9999 Theyve shouldve just kept the place and put it on Airbnb.

[@colleen2386]

@@yahyayahya9999 The "Father" may seem a good man on the surface Yahya but a Man does not take a Hot Iron and Burn his Wife! No you are wrong. He is not a Good Man.

[@nightynightshade]

@@colleen2386 I was JUST going to say that! Thank you! That shit pissed me off when I saw it. The poor mother probably spends some nights crying herself to sleep. 😔

[@colleen2386]

@@nightynightshade 👍

[@lazydumbcat8557]

imagining their father walking for 10 or more days all alone to go back to the home makes me sad. cruel life

[@ThatGirlJD]

Carrying a sick child in your back for a month to get them help shows he is dedicated to his children. I smiled when he was quick to offer to come get Sumchog because he remembered her as his weak baby. He is a healer but he couldn't help his own babies, and knew when to get outside help.

[@katydid1600]

lazyDumbCat I was thinking the same thing about the father

[@bitty5095]

This video made me cry, for everyone, I can only hope all are well and happy. I especially loved the Father, but wanted to hug the mother, she was so lost at times, beautiful video. Well done. Pema ik ben blij dat je besloten hebt terug te gaan naar Holland. Ik wens je allen veel geluk.

[@miyukik8627]

10 days is one way, and even then, it is in the more recent times with 2 short plane rides. Initially, it was 30 days one way and with Pema on piggyback. Imagine that and through th treacherous route

[@thecakeshop664]

He walked for 30 days with him on his back to take him to the orphanage. That's a really good dad right there.

[@moniquehuchet3646]

Caught between two worlds is excruciating. The generosity of the father is amazing.

[@rlm5657]

My feeling exactly!

[@mariansmith7694]

The father knew to get them out. He knew that was their only hope.

[@catherinerobilliard7662]

It was get out or die. The strongest child, the oldest girl, who had neither sickness nor accident, was granted a lifetime of pregnancy, childbirth, hard work and misery

[@lalam3877]

Catherine Robillard but she wasn't miserable. She never said that. It's the only world she knows. You are assuming she is miserable from your point of view and it's very biased. She did say that she believed her brother would be happier there if he married. I think she was happy and fine with her life as is because she never claimed to want to escape.

[@Jirehbireh]

@@lalam3877 I agree, and though it was painful to watch the two worlds colliding, she at least was happy with her one and only decision.

[@kaywaters7]

This is true eye opener for me. We take education for granted while they fight so hard to be educated,also it's so touching to see how this young man took lots of responsibility for his sisters and the love they have for one another is truly a blessing! I pray they all have a rich,happy,healthy life that they all truly deserve!! Prayers from the 🇺🇸

[@margarettewoodard2530]

❤8y8

[@agmacal95]

This young man is so caring and responsible for his siblings. Well, we cannot blame his parents because they lack of education, they lived throughout with their costum and tradition only and they never go out from their isolated place.

[@jacey2c170]

It is easy to judge from the point of view of our own cultures.

[@sikosong-]

@@jacey2c170 yeah.. i think their cultures should be preserved, living in the village like that, they can live happily, the reason of living is to do good things.. for own self, and people around us.. if we talk about modernization, it cant be applied there.. they dont need internet, electricity etc.. because what they have is enough.. maybe from others perspective, they missing alot of things, but life is short, we should embrace it.. not all the people should live in modern world.. like what looks "right" by others.. that is my 2 cents.. :)

[@mariavaleriagiacaglia8974]

Lack of education is not always to blame. My mother, for instance, had the privilege to be very well educated, but has always had the same kind of attitude towards me and my brothers as the mother in this documentary. Sadly, so many parents around the world think that they own their children´s souls and that their children have the obligation to live as they want them to live and even to feel as they want them to feel.

[@shirui9868]

@@mariavaleriagiacaglia8974 You're right. Children's obligated to take care of their parents (from asian cultures views) as well as their current family if they're married. But as a children also have their life and future to live. This is a situation with a lot of burden and hard to decide.🙏

[@ThatGirlJD]

@@yvonnegoodgridge6693 They aren't afraid of heights they grew up in the mountains. The mother only knows one way of life, she doesn't get to leave the village. Only the father does. She isn't educated about different birth control methods, so she feels that is her destiny.

[@normablake2748]

This film was so poignant. The son was totally honest yet so caring. I hope all goes well.

[@tchoezom1]

Dear Director or creator, please please I beg you to have a update or part 2. I whole family watched this story together and it ended with a heart ache. We all wonder if Pema gave in and came back home and got married or did the younger sister came home after 10th grade. Would very much love to see them again.

[@leteasilence8288]

Isn’t it written in the bio below the video? I think Pema is now working in the Netherlands and his younger sisters are going to college

[@greta8746]

@@leteasilence8288 I would still like to see them. And see a few short interviews. It would be great to check back in with them.

[@shirleynoel916]

Wow, that is nice to read. But a documentary on them would be so nice.

[@visa492]

"Look at you your only 26 but you look 40." The way he said it and the way she took it was all LOVE!!!

[@Emmy-z7d]

he said she would look 40. .your brain changed it for your own thoughts.

[@nakali19851]

You may need to rewatch it again ​@@Emmy-z7d

[@tillybinkieking7258]

@@Emmy-z7d After he said she would look 40, later he did say she looked 40. Watch that bit again.

[@eunoia4679]

I understand his parents. Their land was handed to them by their parents' parents for hundreds or perhaps thousands of years. Since he is the only boy in the family and the only one who can continue their family chain, it broke my heart when I saw his mother in tears when he refused to follow them. I also understand him when he said that he is like a dead man without books. He is very intelligent. He has great plans for his entire family. His parents would thank him for what he will do for them in the future.

[@Rosee27]

Hope the sisters too get good life.

[@ilonkagarcia1806]

Absolutely!

[@taracurley4505]

All things have ending sadly it’s a new generation that have to decide things are shifting quickly he could have asked more knowledge about their teaching and ways about the culture and wrote down to share with the future generations…

[@Godhaveme]

I totally understand them both,and all 2 is correct but how do u choose? I think he's a smart,ambitious and amazing person...marrying doesn't solve anything,yet I understand...I know he will help,the way he protects his sister's show he will be a great dad and husband...he's amazing ❤

[@Amy-gh8lw]

I don't understand the parents. My children are my life, nor my land. I would follow them to the ends of the earth.

[@jaishankeraudichya3680]

The father still meeting them halfway is ❤️! His smile 😭

[@naomiblack21]

And the fact that the Son actually recognise him because of his walking steps from a distance is amazing 😍😍😍😍

[@iwantmy_sk844]

...and did you see Pema's whole expression as he took a long look at his father b4 boarding? I think he was surprised? (THAT got me.)🧐

[@Momabear1]

I remembered earlier filmed when his father carried the son on his back hiked through the tough land so his son will have education and a better life.

[@singkongkeju589]

i love when the dad holds his daughter hand, they never know when they'll see each other again

[@Exscinatu]

The fact all of them came home to a place where they no longer felt connected to is beautiful. To hold their birth parents so high they would travel in high and low altitude is wonderful. For the father so walk and carry his kids on his back and they when they are grown to meet them as they return is heart wrenching… but the guilt tripping off the Mum not realizing that they could’ve never returned but did is hair pulling. She doesn’t realize why the father gave up asking. They aren’t of the village anymore they growing in a different place and that isn’t something one can just switch off. This is a wonderful documentary. That I don’t regret staying up late to watch!

[@addamrb1]

I felt honored to watch this documentary and it's content will be in my thoughts for quite some time. I will not pretend to understand the depth of the pain of a parent that sends their children away in hope of a better life and yet that decision will mean the end of a way of life that goes back thousands of years. I felt touched by the second daughter who sought so heartwarmingly to honor her parents even though she had no memories of her life there or even the language. The mission of a documentary is to tell a story and connect deeply with it's viewing audience...well done.

[@fgr3926]

Sorry to disagree but to me they are the selfish parents who first, "leave" their children under the care of an institution until they are lucky enough to be adopted and when the hardest job is done (rise them, educate them and give them a good life) the parents show up again demanding what they think they are entitled. It amazes me ( and I am glad for the children) that they do not seem to have any hard feelings towards their parents. Of course, most of the problems could have been resolved with education (sexual one too) for the parents, what is the point of having children when you well know that you cannot feed them

[@wren8362]

​@@fgr3926 It wasn't selfishness or laziness! It wasn't lack of food! It was medical care they were lacking. The eldest had a serious back problem needing an operation, and one had a burn wound on the forehead that wouldn't heal. Being adopted by Westerners was their only way to get the medical help they needed. The son almost died from measles. Five of the mother's babies did not even survive. And the second oldest daughter, married and living on the family land, has lost three babies. The parents finally moved to Kathmandu themselves because of their health issues as they became elderly.

[@silentstarz16]

​@@fgr3926 I have to agree with the issue of having so many children when the means of providing for them are beyond what the parents can afford. My father grew up in a very rural part of Taiwan in the 1950s/1960s. He was one of 6 children, which is mind boggling to me. I cannot claim to know much about the culture shown in this documentary but as for my father's, both of his parents were from poor families and it appears the way of life then was that parents would arrange marriages between their kids. My grandmother (my father's mom) only finished primary school and it seemed no one valued education for girls; there was no prospect for a poor girl except to marry her off or else she would be another mouth to feed. The strangest part was my grandmother and grandfather didn't even see each other for the first time in-person until the day of the marriage. I can only imagine what it must have been like; meeting a complete stranger and just being expected to be the person's spouse and live and share a bed with him/her. For them, I think it was both lack of sex education and access to birth control so they kept having babies, but also that was just the way of life and how things were done. My father doesn't even know his real birthday because his parents waited a month before putting him on the family registry (and they did the same with all their other children) because they needed that month to be sure he was in the clear (even though he was born healthy). Back then, the infant mortality rate was high.

[@mjm8955]

@@fgr3926 In many traditional rural communities that live off farming, such as the one portrayed in this documentary, having multiple children has nothing to do with the lack of sexual education. It is a survival mechanism that allowed these cultures to thrive for centuries. There is no shortage of food there but just not enough hands to harvest crops and tend to farm animals. Traditionally, all children would stay within the tribe and help their parents harvest the fields and process the food as they age and their physical abilities and health diminish. They had nowhere to go and everything was in perfect balance. Increasing globalization and developing transportation links make it easier for people to move from one place to another, access education, and live a life that was out of their ancestors’ reach, simply because they did not have the means to get from A to B unless they chose to walk some unimaginable distances to get to where they needed to be, just like Pema’s father did when he carried him and his sister through the Himalayas to Kathmandu on his back for a month. Pema’s parents faced additional challenges when three out of their six children fell seriously ill, and they made, what was, I can imagine, a very difficult but also the only right and anything but the selfish decision to part with them in order to save their lives. With this, Pema and his two sisters also got a chance to get an education and realize their potential in other parts of the world. Yes, all to the detriment of their parents, but this is a phenomenon that has been happening across the globe for centuries. This documentary captured the moment in this transition where the tradition clashes with globalization. Which way to go is a personal dilemma on an individual level for those involved, but on a global scale, this is inevitable as this is how the world works - time goes forward, not backward. These rural communities will gradually adapt to the ever-changing world as they always have been. It may mean moving closer to bigger cities and having smaller families. One day they may even completely abandon these remote locations. The same transitions have been happening in all well-developed countries, but they are happening faster as it’s often easier to move across different locations. In many modern countries where this transition has been completed, it’s no longer the poor who live in rural locations - it’s now those from the upper strata of society who are residents there as they can afford this or/and afford to commute to the places they need to be at. This extraordinary documentary is not about quarrels between a mother and a son. It portrays the complexity of social and cultural changes that have been shaping the world for many years and will continue to do so for centuries to come. As tempting as it may be, passing judgment on any of the individuals featured here is probably not the most accurate response to the story.

[@nhiocazafargupta6560]

They haven’t done anything but had too many babies they could not afford and want somebody else to do what they should have done. They want him to come back home to marry some cousin so the money trail will come to them THESE PEOPLE ARE MASTERS AT USING FOR MONEY. And I should know!!!!!

[@supinanothinh1115]

This is the best documentary I’ve ever encountered. My kids will be watching this. How these kids had to journey to find there path was incredible and still be bonded from afar. It’s documentaries like this that show much more to life. 🤧

[@jayniekinser7029]

It is good but what miracle is he waiting for?

[@henri901]

To be honest this documentary is the most underrated documentary ever!!!!! The story really brought me to their situation, it made my cry :( ..Hope the best for the parents and be strong to young man.. I can't imagine position myself as Pema... he has a really hard decision to make, either parents or your dreams. this documentary deserved more viewers!!!

[@rhavend.4378]

dorjeartsyakgirl ~ US sister instagram you can see their dad, he is doing great looks the same. their life is better now. pema.prima ~ Pema instagram he lives in Amsterdam sumchogkersbergen ~ sister in Netherlands

[@806352]

I understand this was posted two years ago, just read it last night, just wondering what happened to them now. I hope they can up date.. thank you, really nice to know some other part of the world...

[@kamaujamaica125]

@@rhavend.4378 O7ukjiik

[@carlkoh]

Henri, you said "you can't imagine position yourself as Pema"......just ask any middle to lower income group Asian friend, you will find not the same, but similar position.....I know. But it is expected in our culture for children to look after our aged parents in old age....and we do it gladly. Things are different now, the new generation want to live their dream. It is good but that's why Pema is struggling to decide.

[@myrthasmascary4086]

They want a better life u can keep that and have a deep respect from who and what u came from that what shape them to do better not only for themselves but to heal there people.

[@kygal]

The mother seemed almost resentful toward the children, especially toward the son. It broke my heart to hear her say the things she said to him. It was a beautiful documentary.

[@picketf]

There is a missing context according to the daughter not shown in the documentary, the one that had surgery in the USA, their grand grandfather was the Chief of Village. So the part where the mother talks about her husband's family being ashamed or losing face is probably downplayed by Pema in the documentary. It's likely she was under pressure because of their heritage and importance to the village. In retrospect this must also have been the reason why she could suggest her daughter Dolma to become a teacher in the village so easily, their family must have retained some of their former political positions within that village, so presumably other villagers expected the children to fall in line.

[@PhilipJSmithNov1990]

The daughter in the USA is shown cos she visits him and her sister in the Netherlands but she had to return due to education ​@@picketf

[@PhilipJSmithNov1990]

@@picketf She is shown at in the Netherlands but for quite a short visit

[@G-grandma_Army]

This may be the best documentary I’ve ever watched.

[@sheilaboston7051]

It certainly is very special, isn't it. An honest story about hundreds/thousands of years of culture and tradition colliding with our modern world. Breathtaking surroundings unfolding to a way of life that is hard for many to understand. There are many judgemental comments - I wish for those people to walk a mile in someone else's shoes and try to truly understand the dilemmas this story raises. This family has worked it out, it's their lives and their story and it is not up to us to judge. Nepali/Tibetan people are quite unique.

[@kuehsalak557]

It is indeed! Blessed is the woman who become Pema's wife one day!

[@ajasourpatch2746]

I got hooked

[@ajasourpatch2746]

I didn’t think I would watch the whole thing. I hop the entire family is okay.

[@ajasourpatch2746]

I’m glad I stayed and watched! I understand everyone’s viewpoint and

[@hydepediten8953]

I cried when their father wipe his tears secretly and controls his emotion...

[@lilikhartuti3486]

Me too All the film I was crying

[@cutecatlover6116]

So Am I

[@jillmendes3985]

Amazing Father!!!

[@setiawan8569]

Me too.....amazing good family

[@kelkiegimm2420]

He will make a wonderful husband and father when he decides that’s right for his life. He treats his sisters and the children with such kindness and gentleness. I love how he was worried about his sister having too many children and it being straining on her own health.

[@StormiV]

He probably didn’t want her to waste more of her children lifes

[@CATSFOREVER308]

Exactly,how wonderful to have a brother like that,who cares deeply for his sister''s.

[@emaulinecox5543]

Until I read your post, I wasn’t going to continue watching. The parents, the mother especially were very manipulative in telling him to “come home/to marry/take care of them/Drs saying her heart condition is all due to him…”as a medical professional, I can say that this would never be stated nor is a diagnosis. I can’t imagine the weight on these children at that time, nor any child due to the manipulation or coercion. Totally different world, I could never do this nor expect anything other than hopes of a great education, healthy lives, happiness and love for my children of whom have accomplishments and are out of the nest. I see even more so how blessed I truly am

[@jazmynduckworth977]

@@emaulinecox5543 it may seem that way to us.... but remember, that is ALL they know. they never left before... so by telling their children to come back and get married, they truly believe that is the best for them in their hearts. they don't understand the detriment of it. so we should just observe and accept it for what it is. its not our place to judge different cultures, however, Pema is from that culture and he is doing a great job of bringing awareness about other ways of life as we can see here in this film. 🙂

[@kygal]

​@@emaulinecox5543I felt the same way watching this. The mother was especially manipulative.

[@PlsKpopMe]

I absolutely love Perma. While I understand where his parents are coming from and the land is important to them, I think Perma is so intelligent and brave for standing up for what he wants and believes in and for wanting what's best for his sisters as well!!

[@thirdeyecreation2298]

I come from the mountains too... the wretchedness of the mountains towards this beautiful little family ripped my heart into pieces... the Dutch parents, the American parents... thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and rescuing this family from extreme poverty and hopelessness... beautiful siblings and their unbreakable bond had me crying like a baby.... thank you... this documentary deserves an Oscar... thank you everyone who was involved with this movie and in these kids lives....

[@mybrotherkeeper1484]

Good perspective, that maybe No One could be blamed so much as the fact that it’s a tough life with a lot of tough things to deal with.

[@rainbowl4745]

But the parents want their kids to come back and repeat their lives all over again. One of the sisters is seriously considering it. A lot of the time it’s not just the circumstances that makes you live a difficult life.

[@davidallen346]

That Nepal region of women are very pretty and attractive looking

[@noblemulia9887]

@@davidallen346 maybe what we saw is good heart, sincere honesty person, and beautiful inner heart yet humble woman, that rare we saw now in modern city Our, in middle of this modern toxic. . Cringe Instagram, til tok, twitch, only fans kind of woman🤑 ah. ..

[@davidallen346]

@@noblemulia9887 That is true Fake insincere Beauty without content display in social media these days.

[@David1234115]

Can't help my tears. Thank you for this video.. Im from Papua New Guinea and I had a similar experience. My parents have sacrificed for me to leave them back in my forest village and move to town at the age of 4 so that I can get a good education. Now I'm a medical doctor and I'm practicing and travelling across 10 countries. My parents are old now and are still in the village. They don't want to leave the village to come stay with me in the city because of our Land. They are both within their 70s.

[@jeandizon1675]

Peay for you and your parents

[@lidiatanasescu4807]

Pray for you and your family!

[@ksaewa1975]

Wow! That's awesome! So happy for your success! You're so blessed!

[@d-green8320]

Luv Yaarrr & your family David So Happy that heard your success God Bless

[@jackiesadler4019]

I loved how their father met them- and the scene where they’re plaiting his hair was genuine love... Broke my heart hearing Pema speaking with his sister (the one who stayed in the village)... Torn between culture and opportunities... We could all learn something from watching this documentary... So sad yet loving at the same time...

[@fredrika27]

Torn between two cultures means if the 15yo sister stays after high school in the village, she will have up to 12 children and be in the same position as her parents with no income and a lot of mouths to feed! That's not why the parents sent the children away! Second, out of their six children, they only kept one, sent two abroad for treatment and three stayed in boarding school. The two sent abroad are too ill to stay at the family farm while the kids who are in school have no idea how to farm and look after the animals. It's a tragedy really!

[@youdontknowmebutiknowyou391]

Their father met them when they where 3days away from home.. he's very excited to see his children 🥺

[@annabizaro-doo-dah]

I thought before I saw it I pitied the kids being torn away from their beautiful homeland and culture. But when I saw the life of the one poor sister left behind I was glad they got away. Her own children will have no education and a life of slaving for barely the basics. However it's a tragedy for the poor parents who loved them enough to give them away (as a parent I know it's the ultimate in love). What a heart rending story. The world Bank needs to step in to preserve these cultures. Mum should open a B n B for long term visitors who want to centre themselves, heal their weight issues a million problems inner city people have (and we do. My kids spend all day on a computer, have no family or even friendships outside school, get no excercize etc and we live in a dirty city, poor by Western standards we've no way out. Their problems can be life threatening but the number of suicides and alcoholism stemming from loneliness and ill health, obesity, addiction etc I've seen, so do we in the west have our, different, issues. Remember the westerners who adopted them were wealthy & middle class. Also they own their own land, something in the UK poor people could only dream about. In London only the rich even have a garden to grow their own veggies.

[@mariasusanasanhuezaespinoz4180]

I would love to see the more of this excellent documentary

[@theredgate5568]

This young man is amazing! I'm so proud of him and his siblings too.

[@dontmindme633]

I don’t know who funded the travel expenses for these kids, but God bless them.

[@Androow089]

Probably the film company

[@christinebuckingham8369]

I'm guessing the wonderful Dutch family who adopted their sister! 🥰

[@donapilciawisidagma3823]

Our life is so easy and we still complain.

[@carolchalmus8650]

I think the family from Holand.

[@kalingapigsoon3470]

the girl who had burn scar was adopted by a dutch n d younger by an american surely they were one of who funded it

[@carinagarcia5433]

I salute this young boy being responsible for his siblings!

[@ariesph-3217]

I salute this young man being responsible for his siblings. He has that broadminded understanding for the life in the future. may God guide your way as well as your siblings. goodluck and may God bless you all.

[@joanpinganan6505]

True👍

[@annecastro2998]

may god bless you on your jouney so with your family I wish you can reach yougoal in life good luck son

[@D4土申]

。

[@deltycordova8683]

Rrjhrrrrrjrhjjrrrr

[@vasurajoo2330]

This film is amazing the young man in this film deserves all support. May God grant you sll your wishes son

[@Myheartbreaker22]

I watched this documentary for the 3rd time and i still can't move on, its mixed emotions I have here. I am so proud of you bro. Hopefully someday you will visit again your family in that isolated place. I wish you and your family are doing fine right now and I am still waiting for any updates on how you cope up after this documentary. God bless to your family.

[@alanietakoroisavou8708]

I felt like their dad allowed them to follow their dreams whereas mom is more tied down to the village life. Can't really blame them.

[@ongadeline5331]

Ya I agree with u. Nobody is left with any choice unless miracle happens as wat the young man hopes at the end of the filming

[@cbrooke16]

Inherited land from hundreds and hundreds of generations vs working daily to pay rent or mortgage on a home, or land. It's the old way vs the modern way. But soon we will all wish we had our own land. Man. This one had me in tears. I pray Pema can help his family AND follow his dreams.

[@JaeElle]

@@cbrooke16 life doesn't have to be that way. Owning our own homes, working and saving, if people spent as little on extra things as that family did they would have much more money. Different worlds, we're raised very privileged for sure. However, owning our homes, hard work and enjoying life can all happen. We just need to remember what is most important to us and make it happen

[@lilyr7221]

Agree, my mom was the same as his mom. Always use guilt to make us do what she want.

[@kusumkapila]

@@lilyr7221 sad that you feel like that. Did you not feel her helplessness. Mothers are more attached to the land and home n her children. And life is hard up there. Western ways have become comfort way but there is hollowness too. Wish comforts could be created in those high altitudes to ease 5e life of women.

[@aprilgroup6143]

Those Dutch and American families are indeed very good human being! Truly enjoyed!

[@123AuroraBorealis]

God bless them

[@deltycordova8683]

Rrrŕrrrrrrrrr

[@deltycordova8683]

@@123AuroraBorealis jrrjh

[@deltycordova8683]

@@123AuroraBorealis rhhhhr

[@Ilovemylife2005]

Yes they so kind to help those children

[@lolamagenta]

This is such a compelling look into the culture in Nepal. The father is a loving and strong person to walk so far to escort his family home. I felt great sorrow for the parents yet understood the decisions of the children.

[@TitoTimTravels]

I think dad knew what he was doing by getting the kids out of there. Mom just wanted a caretaker.

[@evonrom77]

Exactly my thought

[@GuruRasaVonWerder]

what about the father taking metal & burning spots onto the Mom's chest? I think she was begging the boy because the Dad wanted it. It wasn't mostly her, it was more him.

[@GuruRasaVonWerder]

@@TitoTimTravels he burned his wife's chest with metal, did you see that?

[@lm-pw9ul]

@@GuruRasaVonWerder wasn't that to help heal her arm because she said she couldn't move her arm the previous day

[@wolfumz]

It's amazing to see how each child is positioned so differently. The modern world and the traditional world slice through the center of this family. Each sibling has such a different experience. I really wish that this movie was more famous and widespread. I hope that these parents move to Kathmandu... or at least somewhere where they could feasibly live off foreign remittances.

[@annae.9006]

Oh my god, the emotional blackmail his mother does to him is unbearable... Pema is such a special young man, I wish him all the best. Sometimes our birth family puts huge obstacles on our way for us to follow our hearts, but incredible things can come your way if you remain strong and persevere. Much love to Pema and his sisters...xxx

[@gailwalker6872]

Yes. Very manipulative, wether she realizes it or not.

[@ravenblue7805]

@@gailwalker6872 Well, thank you for saying it, coz I thought I was the only one who had a reaction to her manipulation. I’m so happy he chose to live for himself and that he’s found success and happiness. Such an endearing young man who “fathered” his younger sisters when they, too, were feeling abandoned. He certainly deserves the best the world has to offer.♥️😊

[@brightstar1212]

Complete, awful manipulation. Telling him that when they die it will be his fault, and they didn't even raise him. They kept the 'strong' daughter to help them work. Parenthood is not about what you can get from your children. You raise them in love, as I have my five, and it is painful to see them go, but it is the way life is. What mother would ever want that life for their child, in a culture that they don't even know? Good Luck to the kids, may they be happy. He offered to help them in Katmandu, but his mother wants to drag him back to a way of life that is too ancient and remote. My kids all live away, but I raised them all. Yes, I, like millions of mothers all over the world, cry after a visit, and feel pain. However, I don't fill them with guilt and misery

[@niki4013]

Right? As if the doctor told her that her health problems are because her son won’t marry. Honestly, she seems very selfish..., she didn’t even raise him!probably good the majority of the kids all lived away from their parents, and were not pushed around.

[@brightstar1212]

@@niki4013 Absolutely agree. Your children aren’t a commodity to be used as and when you want

[@katnip198]

These sisters are blessed to have a wise loving brother. Guilt is the price you pay for FREEDOM! There is no blame. Everyone does their best. This was an exceptional video. Thank you for sharing it.

[@VictoriaMoranNYC]

Wow, guilt is the price you pay for freedom...I never thought of that. Very well put.

[@flautusflautus3169]

You have verry right. I have the same guilt in my hart and that's why I'm agree with you. But the point is: this guilt is not natural, like a normal feeling developed inside person's hart. It is put it there by the analfabet mother.An animal who defence their elderness. Emotional manipulation (this is how I call it) . This is why I think: There is someone to blame! sorry..I will stop here...:) couse I have 20 retorical question...

[@bennamakin7819]

I grew up in a remote village but studying and living in the US now. I can really relate to the story of how our traditions play vs our seeing the modern world of understanding to make such decisions that we feel it's best for ourselves. Although it is very sad, this is the best documentary I ever watched and my first one to watch on this day of Jan 1, 2022. I really admired the love between these siblings. My hat off to the sister who grew up in Holland but able to survive the village and the long walk. The Father is so kind and love his children so much, even though the kids want to make their choices in life. The parents did their part, and I do not blame the children. I know they are thinking of what's best for their parents. This documentary deserves an award.

[@airwolf61970]

Well said...

[@366nina]

I grew up in the city, but weekends were in my grandparents business farm, love it! That was the only place family really enjoy each other, in the city where we all live including my grandparents, it was so MUCH tension! Maybe bz we were disconnected from nature an the farm animals. Nothing like nature!

[@sarabrant723]

Why did you choose to come to the US? All of them liberal politicians say it's such a systemically racist horrible country capitalism is terrible they should be socialist why would you want to come to the u.s.? Am I right all the liberal politicians say how terrible the u.s. is how broken it is how bad the system of capitalism is why would anybody want to come here especially from another country so they can get a good education I would you want to do that?

[@brightstar1212]

The birth parents did not bring up their children. They put them in a children’s home and they were adopted. The mother now wants them back to serve her. I cannot relate to the word ‘love’, how does it apply?

[@kelkiegimm2420]

@@sarabrant723 I am American. The USA is always represented so poorly to outside nations. We have more freedoms here than anywhere else in the world. We have the right to capitalism and free trade, so we can decide what kind of lifestyle we want to have by our own efforts and talents. Granted there are some cons to our country, but overall it is the best place to live. We are blessed to live without being oppressed or persecuted for our beliefs and goals. Who wouldn’t WANT to live here?!

[@karolinawandal5311]

nangis banget nonton dokumenter ini. sebagai seorang yang tinggal di kampung dan jauh dari orang tua serta harapan orang tua , i can relete this so much. thanks for shraing this beautiful story. dear pema , i wish you and yours family always be happy and heathly.

[@pjmasks7185]

So glad he met his sisters again and they are helping eachother.

[@mariemaxwell1578]

I had a difficult time understanding /reading their conversations. I wish them all the best. I myself was adopted and that was for the best.🇺🇸🇩🇰

[@giuliaromani6178]

His parents knew only one way to live no choice, but their children had met different ways to live.

[@tangojuli209]

"I sent my sisters to school so they wouldn't become like you". The hardest words to hear.

[@chrisgangte3140]

You're 26 but looks 60 too

[@TheEmpress-jy4rp]

Very honest words he said

[@humanbean1424]

Lowkey threw a verbal upercut.

[@julierood1228]

The Only Son was sure kept busy. He gets his education alright. We all did.

[@azrmsa]

I hated him for that, she did not deserve that belittling, what is wrong with him seriously… there’s way of putting things and he got no shame or respect for his sister.

[@VIsTheMusic]

Tradition is to be honored but not followed as if we are enslaved by them. The guilt trips his Mother plays is breaking my heart. When he Is a very successful man, he can take care of everyone. Only if he is given wings not a cage. He is strong and capable. Beautiful family and amazing foster family as well. How auspicious all around.

[@abbyclay4990]

I feel for Pema, it seems he is the only one holding his family together. I can’t imagine the stress he must feel to protect his sisters’ future and his parents in old age. I’m so happy he chose his happiness!

[@melydemmel934]

GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. PURSUE YOUR DREAMS IN LIFE AND GOD will make all your dreams come true.

[@helenfirst9334]

This definitely deserves an award for the documentary. As Indigenous people, we have to go through hardships and make a heartbreaking decision but at the end it's our Creator who helps guide our way of life. We still help our parents out no matter what.

[@Totalchaos0228]

Letting your children go, because you love them, is the most selfless and painful thing to do. Its a decision that few will ever understand.

[@mercedesprecht-matuschek6026]

My parents had to let me go, all by myself, 2 weeks after my 13th birthday. Their loving and selfless sacrifice saved me from living under the tyranny of Communism! I never saw my father again! He died in Cuba 11 years after I left! Forever grateful Papi!

[@mariawinter2535]

That boy is going places. He's breaking the chains of misplaced guilt & tradition induced poverty, but first he had to set himself free & take the first step into manhood by..... making the hard choices!

[@joannehanna1089]

Very true. Breaking the chain is a must.

[@bekind6196]

Tradition induced poverty. That’s exactly what it is. Thank you for stating it like that. When your culture makes you sick, is it worth staying in. Many can say the same for social media and western greed. Everything in moderation is best. What the son is showing is that family happiness and health is more important than tradition. I agree. And sometimes breaking the bonds of toxic people, even if they are family is the only way forward.

[@mariawinter2535]

@Nenethegreat W ur not the only one with a story. It is tradition induced poverty when the parents insist on carring on their traditions at the expense of their children's future economic well being. My grandma told me about our family tradition to marry off the females for a dowry. & the promis of future endowments. In the beginning of this family tradition there was a lot of land, precious metals, live stock & precious gems & stones. But not so after the Spaniards & Europeans took most of the country's wealth & robbed families. Still they had a mind set, & they continued the tradition even though there was noting to give or trade. It took several generations to bend & break those traditions so i could have. Yeah it's traditional poverty perpetuated...ignorance & fear.

[@SlimKeith11]

@Nenethegreat W You're missing the point and taking this WAY too personally Luv, they presented the Mother as an absolutely miserable, unhappy person who believes life is about duty/sacrifice and because SHE had to get married, take care of a family & her elders as well as the fields, she wants her kids to suffer through it too and then subsequently take care of her. She's the type of person who will NEVER be happy no matter what you do for her, a truly miserable human being. This isn't about country mouse vs the big city, this is about people who want to receive an education and move up in the world and to make their own decision/choices.

[@sandramaher4243]

I understand your thinking, but,. His freedom couldn't happen without the sacrifice of his parents,. ...it is a catch 22 situation, but he isn't going into a World if loving kind people, he will have to face the hatred and the cruelty of orejudice, if he gets married,. The likelihood of divorce is very high,. and raising rebellious selfish children who in the end won't worry too much about him.... The world he left behind is certainly impoverished, but it has all the human feelings that we need to be to feel loved and safe.

[@choesanggg5370]

I don’t know why I just got to watch it. Truly inspiring. So proud of all the people. Very nicely captured. I love how the brother is pushing his younger siblings to study. Everyone should watch this. Gave me a better perspective on my life.

[@gothicgrandma4559]

The sister who stayed and got married looked so old. My heart aches for her. Edit: I almost cried as the mother combed her daughter's hair and tried to use the situation to lay on the guilt so that her daughter would come home and fulfill her wishes and her daughter said so simply "just ask me to stay". She was given away to strangers to raise and now she's strong and healthy she can come and be worked into premature old age and still all she wants is to hear her mum say "I want you". And her mum still wouldn't even give her that much.

[@gothicgrandma4559]

@Guddi Shah I can see that. But all that girl wants is an acknowledgement that her mum wants and needs her.

[@emmahan9160]

@@therealkat2480 I think they mentioned later in the video that the sister is around 15?

[@Ashley-vs8nu]

The sister that stayed is 26 the 2nd youngest daughter is 15

[@monikapol100]

So sad but yes, that situation is so painful ...dressing the hair by the mum and manipulating the girl's emotions...so cruel.

[@terrya9648]

@@monikapol100this woman is a narcissist

[@jemreandeau3583]

I would like to see a sequel to this. The Son is very well spoken and gives good advice to his sisters, I hope he finds a way to help his parents and still live his life.

[@robinlillian9471]

He offered to help his parents more if they met him halfway and moved to Kathmandu, which still would have meant he would have had to stop studying in Holland. They refused. They sent all of their children but one to live elsewhere. They still have her for company. The rest all grew up living a different life, and are no longer adapted to living in that village. I understand that his Father doesn't want to give up his ancestor's land, but it's too early to make decisions about that. (In the future, one of the sons or sons-in-law of his daughter who lives nearby might even be grateful to inherit that land.) Women marry at 16 there, and their oldest child is under 20. They can't be much older than their late thirties, so this isn't about them getting old. I'm decades older than them and still nowhere near my dotage. This isn't about old age or needing help. It's a power struggle.

[@jasc3294]

@@robinlillian9471 VERY WELL SAID !

[@marcelle215]

@@robinlillian9471 let's not pretend they'll live as long without access to Healthcare. They ARE old. Relatively

[@lisaross6687]

@@robinlillian9471 well they look old as hell!

[@paulitza9]

@@robinlillian9471 Life is a constant power struggle.

[@zaryatisonderer7898]

I am so inspired by his strong will to pursue his education despite all odds and challenges. His effort to reunite with his family. This documentary helps me understand the power of family love and all the sacrifices that comes with it. Thank you for opening my eyes to your world, Pema. I wish you all the best and success to you and family.

[@paluinedixon6523]

It is good think to go back look for your family help them if you can help that your mother and father and sister do all that you can do for them god will bless you

[@DaisyDuckling]

The power of family love? The boy is important to the parents and the girls are not. That´s not family love.

[@catrionaholland4081]

@Daisy Duckling do not criticise if you do not have the courage to use your own name.

[@DaisyDuckling]

@@catrionaholland4081 The courage? lol I don't live Online or in KZbin, so forgive me for trying to keep some privacy. If this makes a coward of me, fine.😗

[@lisascales9582]

Omg I love this !my favorite part is when the sister changed into her culture outfit and they started dancing and singing for her so adorable

[@tsedup4317]

Hi pema, growing up I didn’t knew u had all this troubles, u were always smiling and very lively… it’s been years now since we didn’t see each other but I wish you are well and in a happy place my friend…

[@Hotlipsc]

My heart goes out to them all. Mother is afraid, that's why she says the things she does. She is steeped in tradition and does not know any other way, let us not be hard on her. Lovely family, wonderful son. May he be forever blessed.

[@yenirahma160]

I agree with you, I cant blame the parents, they love their children but they lack of knowledge.

[@sargassopearl]

Except that his mother blatantly lied and said HE was the cause of her heart problems. That's SO cruel. You can see the pain in his face upon hearing that. I consider that emotional abuse and manipulation.

[@tenzinpassang5482]

Yes I too agreed with u too.

[@pgoddard803]

@@sargassopearl It *is* emotional abuse and manipulation. Narcissistic people like his mother hide behind their supposed ignorance and cultural traditions in order to force everyone around them to do what they want. The simple fact is that cultural tradition is very important but face isn't so important that you should lie or abuse others to keep it.

[@creswhiteside3749]

A very good caring son and brother. He felt guilty for not following the tradition . He was thinking of his future . I was pleased that he stuck to it. It would be very nice to know what became of him. Timeline 2018 and it is 2021. If anyone of you read this and hear any update , love to hear about it. Thanks.

[@terryolsson4145]

This was an incredibly emotional and poignant story of one family and their struggles with the traditional and modern world. I pray that this family finds balance, acceptance and love on their journey of discovery.

[@jillmendes3985]

believe you, said it best!I, believe,

[@TitoTimTravels]

This really is not about the modern world and the old ways. This is some parents that dumped their kids in an orphanage when the kids were a burden - and now expect them to come back like nothing happened. These are not parents, they are parasites.

[@cherylpumphrey2705]

Pema is a remarkable young man. This documentary shows differences in generations, in cultures, and geographical locations. Complexities are beautifully illustrated. Joy and sadness are deeply wrapped in a loving family.

[@NicNac081909]

Amazing young man. I pray that his parents find peace with his decision to live his own life. I also hope that he finds peace without guilt. Such a beautiful family!

[@wypy817]

I can understand pema but i cant stop crying when i see the mother standing alone watching her children going away

[@sputt100]

she watched it before

[@lyndamccallum1535]

@อาร์ทิมิส อะโฟรไดท์ ไดโอนีซอส ซุส เฮร่า อพอลโล โพไซดอน i think that mother is so selfish and cruel blaming her son for her ill health. They never raised their children why should he give up his education and life to look after his parents.

[@chhandap4223]

Yes ut is heart broken

[@w.urlitzer1869]

@อาร์ทิมิส อะโฟรไดท์ ไดโอนีซอส ซุส เฮร่า อพอลโล โพไซดอน this!

[@shingmeinaga2604]

don't blame her mother. they know nothing about the world.. all she knows is she can't support all her children to get education so she let them get in the orphanage thinking her child will have good health, food, new clothes and hoping one day they will succeed in life and support the family..

[@silentassassin1399]

55:10 - Wow... She was only 26?! But somehow, I felt her pain when Pema told her older sister - "I sent them to good schools, so they won't become like you". That was like a slap of truth even if she cannot do anything about the fate life has dealt to her.

[@cindywilson6520]

It was her only life because the parents didn't send her away they kept her there.

[@VideoSaySo]

I felt so bad for her when he said that and she dropped her head.

[@Emy53]

They sent him off to live in the western world but now that they want him back, they're trying to persuade him to return to the land of his roots. He will die there, spiritually. He has tasted a different life. He cannot stay there...his soul will die. He has out grown his parents culture.

[@silentassassin1399]

@@Emy53 I also pity him. Still does not give him a right to insult and hurt his older sister like that. The sister did not have a choice.

[@staceykersting705]

@@silentassassin1399 I don't think it was meant like that. He's just pointing out what a hard life she's lived. They aren't inundated by the artificial beauty standards that we are, so she's not insulted, IMO. I don't think his sister took it too hard. The idea of living in the city's just so far outside the box for her, she can't grasp it.

[@sanraii]

this was such a good documentary. its hard to not angry at parents when they can't understand your side. so the way that he was able to calmly explain his side was amazing. its amazing that he knows 3 languages and is using that to communicate with his family. he is literally a free translator for the family loll. also, what happened to the sister that went to the US to get surgery? we only see the girl who get her back burned and got adopted by a Dutch family, but not the other one.

[@katedownie1823]

6 siblings, the son, the first sister stayed behind and has three children daughters 2 and 3 (one went to the Netherlands and one to America, one of them is the burn victim ) cannot remember who is who, daughters 4 and 5 are growing up in the orphanage, or were, , as one daughter is back in America the other is back in the Netherlands along with the brother who is now achieving his dreams, the two daughters from the orphanage , one is in college and the other is finishing high school and plans to go to college, so basically one has remained as she always has, the other five are achieving their goals dreams, college etc

[@ZH-Rocks]

Boy is very considerate.compassionate and caring but he cant make his parents understand ever....its just two separate worlds..

[@sandrahermit3598]

I wonder if the parents realize that the children who haven't lived there for many years may not even know the first thing about farming. It would be better for them if the parents moved to the city. I don't understand why he has to come home to help them. He can help them from a place where he is comfortable, in a job he can actually do.

[@ZH-Rocks]

@@sandrahermit3598 parents won't move into the city...its the ancestral land you see..i would have asked his father to give /leave the land to the eldest married daughter who is still in the village and let the other children live their lives in the city.

[@sandrahermit3598]

@@ZH-Rocks that's what i think. They should give the land to the daughter and they could still visit when they feel like it. They could use a break anyway and they need to give their son one, i think.

[@ZH-Rocks]

@@sandrahermit3598 yeh thats right.😊

[@MomLifeModestWife]

@@ZH-Rocks she cannot farm alone though. Farming actually takes many people. Maybe if her children were a bit older that it would seem like an option or if her in laws didn’t leave her to do everything.

[@chasetonga]

I love how he just loves that baby. He’ll be a good father some day.

[@DosYeobos]

Ikr, I haven’t watched to the end yet, does he get married? Is he still single?….

[@evierice2230]

You are loved so very much that Someone died for you!!! Religion says do, Jesus Christ says, "Done! It Is Finished!" Your sin debt is Paid In Full!!! ALL SIN FOR ALL TIME!!! ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! We are all infected with the virus called sin! Jesus is the cure! Believe in your heart that Jesus, the Son of God, God the Son, came, died, was buried and rose again on the 3rd day and is coming back for those that Believe that He is who He says He is and that did what He said He did!!! This is the Good News!! Jesus loves you all, so much, that He willingly died for you, so that you can be with Him forever!!! 1 Corinthians 15:3-4!!! Salvation is that easy! A-Admit/Acknowledge you are a sinner in need of a SaviOUR B-Believe that Jesus is Lord C- Call on the name of Lord and you will be Saved!!!! God bless!!!!

[@sulaman4280]

He will get screwed over by women in America majority of them aren't good if I was him I would consider what his sister is saying this is first time a woman is being logical

[@smilingcoastforte643]

The father......what a beautiful soul and so is his son, too ! Wonderful film, thanks for sharing !

[@korakkataro2272]

Very inspiring documentary. Despite the turn of events, the parents were content and maintained the love for their kids. I cannot imagine matching this love to all other kinds of love we all know of. This is a much greater love I've realized from this documentary

[@norasackpathammavong5826]

Oh boy. I couldn’t hold my tears. I’m 60 years old man with 3 daughters and have been living in US since I was 17 years old. My mother still living in Laos with my younger sister. She is old now and I do miss her.

[@tinmaddog7]

Bring her here...

[@TammyTellMeTru]

I just read a very good memoir. It's called a Hmong Memoir "Beyond the Mountains" by Khoua Thao. Check it out.

[@chessybox1095]

Can you sponsor her to come here?

[@2.07error8]

Mother waving to her children during departure,... And had to return back to her house alone...was heartbreaking moment,,it brought me tears

[@brightstar1212]

I think about the children being taken to an orphanage. That must have been pretty sad for the tiny children also

[@jackzhimo6460]

Yes it was. Sad 😥

[@TheRight-handedStranger]

Yes I cried feeling so sad for her.

[@lalynvaliente8192]

Well she was asked to come but didnt soo.. I dont know. Im torn. On the other hand she cant just leave the lands and their heritage. But at the same time, what miserable hardships living there omg

[@MaN-pw1bn]

Heart breaking. I felt as if the parents were holding them emotionally hostage. They turned their children over to a school to raise and two were adopted out, they don't honor the connections they expect from their children. The young man is remarkable! Would love to see a follow-up to see how things panned out for them.

[@beth-rg8bm]

Inherited slavery!

[@Whisperwomaneq2]

You said everything I was going to say. Pop out 11 children and then take them far for others to take care of and raise because you cannot or will not do a proper job of it. Then expect them to come back and live a life of unemployment, starvation and poverty to make their own families in. SMH

[@MaN-pw1bn]

@@Whisperwomaneq2 Yeah, It's not that I don't understand how difficult it is to break out of generational family culture, the parent's are simply doing what their entire line of parents did. They essentially use children as a service animal to save themselves. And, while I'm really in awe of the down to earth lifestyle, it's a choice that we each have to make for ourselves.

[@akbarfarzin9857]

All because poor and not good Government to care about themes!!!!

[@akbarfarzin9857]

In wold spending Billions Billions Billions Dollars in the War for More power !!and selfishness but not for Educational and better future for Humanity!!!! Better life!!!

[@lannpuii]

"you follow your heart and decide" the love he had for his sisters are so pure, may they all live happily ever after ❤ even the mom and dad, this is so sad and beautiful at the same time,

[@Flicks_and_Pages]

"How could I ever live in this isolated place? It's the the land of my ancestors. But my world is so much bigger now" - Pemu

[@Heytheredelisandwich]

The way the brother was telling his older sister he didn’t want their younger sisters to be like her :( sad truth.

[@Bogusgal]

It is the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with the older sister's way. It is another form of happiness.

[@ArtistLadyAudraO]

It upset her too you could tell by her expression. She doesn’t know any other life and it must have hurt to hear but he was speaking true. Their mother said she gave birth to 11 children only six are alive in this film. So sad.

[@Bogusgal]

@@ArtistLadyAudraO Many people's grandparents had 11 or 20 children. Some died because science was not known. But, they were still happy. I think the older sister is happy too. If the boy can make the village grow if he had the mind to do it; but he does not. He is just a photographer. He should have chosen to be an engineer instead. He also made bad choices.

[@huldrrrr9486]

@@Bogusgal he really didn't

[@Bogusgal]

@@huldrrrr9486 He did. He could have made a better one.

[@mariamcamaso1992]

What a documentary! Wish there will be a follow-up/updates on Pema's life as well as his sisters and parents. He a very passionate and caring person but choose to live his dreams. GO FOR IT PEMA!

[@rhavend.4378]

dorjieartsyakgirl ~ US sister instagram you can see their dad, he is doing great looks the same. their life is better now. pema.prima ~ Pema instagram he lives in Amsterdam sumchogkersbergen ~ sister in Netherlands

[@bluwtrgypsy]

What a wonderful film, however heartbreaking. It's unfortunate his parents made him feel so guilty. It seemed cruel. He took on the responsibility of taking care of his sisters with love and kindness - so remarkable. In today's world education is critical. I pray they are all well and are blessed with good health and happiness. Hopefully the parents have hired help to assist them. Blessings to all

[@grammajo1889]

Every time I watch a documentary like this, I am overwhelmed at how huge and full of variety our earth is!! Yet we are all connected as an earthly family.

[@whitequeen96]

Heartbreaking. The update that says the parents now mostly stay in Kathmandu because there is medical care there is encouraging. Their lives were so incredibly hard in the mountains. Now their son can provide for and care for them so they won't have to work so hard. I hope they find happiness in Kathmandu.

[@coffeepandacat]

Oh nice. Good to know thanks for sharing! Edit: Just watched more, but that is very sad to leave behind a land that has been passed down through their family for generations. All the blood sweat and tears shed to create a home for their entire family. It breaks my heart to see his mother in tears when he was confronting his parents. I understand a little my mother is traditional asian but not like this. This is situation is way more rough. Split between two worlds

[@JediJan]

@@coffeepandacat I hope that they can keep the land in the family, hopefully lease it to other families in the area so they don’t lose it.

[@margaretscleong]

@@coffeepandacat They do not have to give up or abandon the land..surely they can lease it out to other villagers..both land & animals..I hope so!

[@zenaidabohol7580]

The family land shouldn’t be abandoned . Because the kids are probably earning or will be earning a living maybe they could fund a reunion similar to this one whenever possible. Heart wrenching. God bless the family.

[@AngBQueenAdwoasCloset]

Where's the update? Id love to watch / see

[@mafungwashekumkanikazi2656]

Pema just warms up my heart. I enjoyed him talking to his sister and how he made it clear that him getting married is not a solution to the situation.

[@lotusmetok1771]

Amazing documentary . This touched me to the core .Having spent a similar life in my early age , although it was not as tough as this , I could relate to everything . ..this made me sob. Praying for the family . I am so grateful to the parents in Netherland and America . God bless them all with happiness in abundance .

[@thelmaarmstrong5431]

This story reminds elf myself trying to leave home, but always carrying a bit of guilt with me. Although I have always help my mom financially, she always reminded me that I left home. I believe everyone has a right to their own life, always remember to help the ones left behind. Beautiful story, don’t feel guilty, just never forget to help your parents whichever way possible.

[@delsakelly1456]

I sympathize with the parents but children have their own life to live. It makes me emotional knowing I left my mother too to make a living and make my own life different from hers.

[@rubeniamalone3810]

They gave us life but it is our own life that we have to persuade, he is offering her help if they live close to his place that it is wonderful, put putting pressure such as that one is wrong. I moved far away to USA and don't regret it at all, I have my family and I would never put that pressure on my children to take care of me. Our children are like birds need to fly and make their own nest wherever it might be!

[@tesserieramos5613]

This is very inspirational story. May the Lord bless the journey of the siblings. I love the son's thinking. Praying all the very best for you, dear. Your Foster parents are blessed eough to have you. Bless them much much more💖🙏🤗

[@disappearintothesea]

I agree. It’s also the same for some immigrant family in the USA with very traditional parents. Children needs to grow and fly no matter how old they are.

[@annemariefisher1559]

Exactly I agree great documentary. This mother is extremely wrong.

[@johndurrett3573]

@@annemariefisher1559 Rather then saying wrong, she is the product of her parents words and believes which is also the village culture. What is very clear to many watching this - the less education you have - the harder your work, your daily toil and dependency on many children to share the labor burden. While those who receive higher and higher education will in most cases earn more and be able to rest, pursue their own personal interests and not rush to have children or push them to marriage and children.

[@saidafridi2169]

I had same situation like that 100%.but I grew up intensive violence. I was child labor .i belong to from mountain region of north west Pakistan. Very very hard and bad time .my parents rejected my education but I fight for education. Now I live in France. I am happy now.

[@winterweib]

I am so happy you feel nice now.It was incredible sad what you told us about your upbringing. May you be blessed and have a wonderful and happy life.

[@donnapearce2213]

I am glad you got out of the situation. Good on you

[@greenleek1434]

How did you do that?

[@m.g.3419]

Congratulations! It must have been really hard but you made it.

[@saidafridi2169]

@@donnapearce2213 thanks

[@orddan]

Even tho the parents kept pressuring them to stay, you can tell deep down they want their children to live a happy life, the father walking them to the plane, and the mother "blessing" the road before they leave. ngl that moment when the mother was left at the end was really painful to watch, but at the same time that's what most parents go through, at some point children will leave the nest and you will stay behind

[@lynnettewangari2913]

Am sure when the mother went back to the house she cried her soul out.

[@ericac.4316]

I’m proud of this young man for following his heart. He will prosper and be blessed and will be a blessing to the entire Fam.

[@user-mo4wt9gk9y]

He already is!!

[@ericac.4316]

@@user-mo4wt9gk9y No doubt he is!

[@rflores1456]

I'm really happy he said no- I'm not going to get married and just leave my wife to help my mom...

[@mybrotherkeeper1484]

Why is the old father never pressured, or even imagined, to be the obvious answer to the mother’s dilemma? And don’t tell me his job’s too important, like he’s the President of Nepal, or something.

[@anjarae9336]

@@mybrotherkeeper1484 what can the father do to help the situation did you not see that there is nothing out there except clay houses , you have to walk weeks just to get to a actual town .He is elderly in a village with no government resources, no doctors , no help at all . your body ages very fast there because there is no medical care and you have to do hard labor from childhood just to survive. They also have to go through harsh winters in the mountains with no heat living in a hut with no doors to keep cold out . it takes 10 days of walking through mountains just to reach a town and then 10 days walking back. There is no way he can walk months at a time to find work and do heavy labor work at his age especially when it gets cold in the mountains . these villages have kids because they know they need help once older . they depend on their kids because there is no nursing homes or government help for the elderly.

[@mybrotherkeeper1484]

@@anjarae9336 I’m saying let him be considered to be the one to stay at home and help with the farm. It’s hard work even for a young woman. Now it’s time for him the help his wife with this hard work. He wants to keep the land? He wants to eat? Well, then it’s past time for him to give up the traveling healer calling, and take up the family farm chores. No wonder his wife is tired out. All they are trying to do is make Pema’s wife a servant. Let the dad help, he’s still healthy. Pema and his sisters can send some cash help, since they aren’t inclined to be farm laborers. Problem solved for a long time, maybe 10 years. Parents happy, the land is still theirs, etc. Later Pema can give the land to his older sister, who’s inclined to be a farmer. Maybe she can make a little money renting it out, or selling it. Then her life gets a little better. She deserves it!

[@lindah5011]

@@anjarae9336 guess they have some regrets about sending those kids to the orphanage, one by one.

[@anjarae9336]

@@mybrotherkeeper1484 I am sure the dad is the main provider, I doubt he is sitting around doing nothing , He probably runs the farm. Even if the brother sends money to help his parents when elderly people get older they need someone to watch after them especially when there are no doctors or hospitals near and no transportation. The mom said they are weak and need someone there with them , I also think the parents miss the kids and want them home as a family again the son offered them to move to Holland I think they said but i am sure after being born and raised living out off the grid in the mountains leaving their farm and going to a city to live is scary for them at their age . I dont think the mom has ever left the village before . They also think differently then we do because their way of life is different as well as their culture . We're able to try to observe their situation from the documentary and come up with some good ideas but these ideas probably would not even cross their mind because people's thoughts are going to be different based on their lives and traditions and culture . If their choices and how they are trying to do things don't make sense to us that doesn't mean it doesn't make sense to them. But you have some good points and ideas🦋❤ hope you're having a great week

[@lifethatmatters5455]

I hope he is happy without feeling guilt in his choosen life. We cannot blame his parents because thats the only life they know.. I hope he can live a happy life.