Don't Make Pizza the way I did

[@RTGame]

Would anyone like a slice of my pizza

[@catrinmelldansen]

please dan im starving

[@daandanx]

Ssssure..?

[@fuzzy_mouze]

Dan i want your pizza

[@nift36]

no

[@BoopyDoopSaiyan]

me pls :3

[@cosmic7336]

i need everyone who wasn't on stream to know that every time Dan moved the camera chat started screaming about being kidnapped and wanting to be let go. every. single. time

[@Allen_isnt_available]

Thank you for blessing us with this information

[@DeathnoteBB]

Also whenever Dan left the screen we decided he was gone forever

[@airplanes_aren.t_real]

@@DeathnoteBB 0 object permanency

[@ytuser4562]

classic RT stream chat

[@birdblackbird4766]

this makes it even better wahahahaha

[@pippippy52]

My family owned a Pizzeria trattoria for 35 years and I can safely say that the Associazione Verace Pizza napoletana (official pizza guild) has DEFINITELY ordered a hit on him

[@RaveDecoy242]

holy shit assassin's creed is real but they're pizzeria guild members

[@gameridiotNOT]

I would not be surprised if this turned out to actually be true, good lord

[@Mdk8008]

Lol

[@ihatethereportsystem8123]

If they ordered a hit on RT for just being incompetent, then I'd hate to see what they did to Kilian.

[@marybonner7432]

Dunno if they'll catch him he is the Butcher of Sapienza

[@Mantakorra]

This video makes me feel like he has me strapped to a chair across the counter and is forcing me to watch him make horrible pizza.

[@HarDunkiThud]

And he just occasionally refers to you as “chat”

[@ShustOne]

Oh man this comment made me laugh so hard, it's so true hahahaha

[@wisetree8330]

But we watch it voluntarily

[@The-Silliest-Little-Guy]

"were havin fun And this is the *correct* way to have fun"

[@spaceyfeather]

SO true manta

[@glenngriffon8032]

I don't know what's worse. Dan cooking badly on purpose or Dan cooking badly on purpose _and_ accidentally.

[@theuncalledfor]

What this man did to that bag of mozzarella was a crime. Like, come on, there's obviously liquid in there. You can FEEL that.

[@zk-cs1kb]

Dan repeatedly mispronouncing spices

[@Mendoza-yi6qk]

Pretty sure he doesn't cook often otherwise his spices weren't expired

[@PatManDX]

My favorite part of RT's content is that chat collectively is like, a whole-ass character. Like a hivemind that collectively equates to a single gremlin with no object permanence and zero patience.

[@victoryjamz]

i think rt treats chat like a single gremlin too

[@asoupyferretnamedfar3634]

Yes.

[@RiderLeangle2]

Look there's like 2 braincells between the lot of chat, we're bouncing that around all the time.

[@Dragoboi1998]

@@RiderLeangle2 Like the screen saver on a dvd player

[@HazeEmry]

@@Dragoboi1998 do they hit the corner?

[@anicrue]

RT, your response to the mozzarella makes me think that you _haven't_ survived 27 years, and instead have been raised from the death repeatedly

[@dreska255]

I'm fairly convinced he's lived 27 years, just not on this earth

[@gentleseal1778]

It’s a miracle! He is the Messiah!

[@danielled8665]

"From the death" 😂

[@piti7401]

I've literally cried when he did mozzarella splash 🤣🤣

[@DeathnoteBB]

Most people don’t buy fresh raw mozzarella

[@theholyketchup6445]

As a person taking a professional bakery course this hurt me in ways that I can't even describe and didn't even think was possible.

[@LeCheckmate]

Just think of the job security though.

[@makeda6530]

I studied pastry and the attempt to transport flattened '''''dough''''' with spatulas was taxing.

[@jasonkeith2832]

As a casual baker, it also hurts me in a deep and personal way.

[@Mdk8008]

Lol

[@chrisyoung1576]

Pain

[@rokikubo]

ive literally never seen anyone who doesnt know what kneading is...godspeed RT

[@Dostwyn]

How can you go through 25+ years of your life and not know what kneading is? I'm not shaming here, I just don't understand how that can happen.

[@khajiithaswares4147]

Has he touched food before

[@koenvandamme6901]

I had to stop watching the stream at that point, lest I started shoving forks into my eye sockets to drown out the existential pain.

[@Ellisepha]

This was so stressful to watch live, and I'm still not sure if he wasn't trolling. This is what happens when you spend all your university time playing Mario Cart!

[@darkpixel1128]

@@Ellisepha look, he's the drift king not the cooking king.

[@thatonepersonyouknowtheone7781]

I love his ability to misinterpret even the simplest instructions in the weirdest way, he hears that knead means massage and lightly pats the dough like hes never given or received a massage before.

[@laraschroeder5195]

I CACKLED at your comment. RT needs a massage.

[@criptastical]

Things that Dan apparently doesn't know: The concept of kneading dough How explosive flour is The metric system How to convert teaspoons into tablespoons (it's 3, not 2 1/2) The fact that he's lived 27 years is a miracle

[@Mendoza-yi6qk]

that explains why he usually only bakes with cakejumper since he can't do it alone

[@thewanderingmistnull2451]

Even worse, since he's converting between systems, a UK tablespoon is 25% larger than a US tablespoon.

[@Virginiafox21]

Even even worse, he’s under the wrong assumption that grams = milliliters. That’s only true for water, flour is actually much different.

[@Shadowxx98]

*That unshredded mozarella comes in a brine

[@laurenf.7922]

@@thewanderingmistnull2451 that's pretty common though. He is making people that own hole in a wall restaurants cry or caused the Sicilian Mafia to target him for transportation to another plane.

[@josephdominick1157]

As a dead broke recent college graduate, I 100% respect learning an entirely unique conversion system instead of buying a new set of measuring cups

[@mataogearsky5353]

"As a dead broke recent college graduate..." I'm sorry to hear of your untimely passing. How nice that you're able to speak with us from beyond the grave.

[@hunterog2262]

he could have at least done an accurate conversion though, flour is around twice as dense as water, so he should have put twice as much flour in

[@llamaboioflusatia]

"It's extra virgin" Dan didn't even use lightly fucked olive oil, he really let us all down

[@user-re8tc1dg3b]

I do not even want to know how you lightly fuck oil.

[@TheHighDerple]

what the heck is this accursed comment doing in a video about something so pure like pizza

[@generallyunimportant]

gotta love how youtube's filters work only 1/4th of a time.

[@danielthewalrus420]

Lightly fucked olive oil or how I like to call it, extra protein olive oil

[@TheHighDerple]

@@generallyunimportant and even when they do, its on a slight slip-of-the-tongue moment, and never on stuff like whatever this is

[@drag0nerd]

Dan went from ordering Twitch Chat a pizza to preparing it for them himself on stream. The lengths this man goes to for his community are incredible.

[@WannabeDino]

Ikr

[@drawnwithlove3499]

I believe this was compensation for his James Bond stream. He promised he'd order McDonald's before playing, but it kept messing up his order and the stream ended up late. It's sweet actually, how much he cares about his fans,to the point he'll literally make pizza as compensation for not getting McDonald's on time.

[@richardendresz161]

Now this is quality entertainment

[@originalname8541]

Unless it's McDonald's

[@Ruffzn]

inedible*

[@lilstjimmy]

why does Dan have so many spices when he clearly has never made anything complex enough that required spice

[@danujus77]

He consumes the spice directly.

[@DecayOpossum]

@@danujus77 well at least it’s not the other spice

[@Cobalt360Degrees]

That's why the oregano was expired.

[@etuanno]

​@@Cobalt360DegreesI don't think dried herbs can go bad unless they were stored in a moist place.

[@Burgertimee]

It’s for the style

[@cah137-y4s]

I’m starting to think that Dan made a deal with the devil where he traded all of his other skills in order to become the Drift King

[@JayJonahJameson07]

Oh but haven’t you heard ? They used to call him the Drift King in college you know

[@denos1699]

@@JayJonahJameson07 and later on the Pokemon king

[@lilyblossom9438]

I think what baffles me the most is that RT has a "magical spice cabinet" but can't cook to save his life

[@fabra1122]

Explains why his oregano expired...

[@Mendoza-yi6qk]

@@fabra1122 I wanted to comment the same

[@l-DrFizz-l]

“Save his life” was almost literal in this scenario

[@xiGoinHam]

Ngl alot of people have this. Me and my roommates spice cabinet is loaded, but we use like maybe 6 of them most of the time. And shit, taijin I don't think I've ever used for actual cooking, I just use it on my bloody mary glasses.

[@AviendhaR]

@@fabra1122 I know you actually probably know this but another point to rt not cooking. dried spices don't actually expire. they lose like an iota of flavor every ten years after expiry but it's fine.

[@thatsufferingguy1058]

Dan I want my pizza

[@thewiseoldfox]

Keep suffering

[@sjtiernan5841]

We want our pizza

[@ak-47b42]

Give him pizza

[@Midnight_Saveing_Llama]

Give him his pizza

[@Wooly_Trout]

Dan please, for the love of all things holy give me my pizza

[@destinydoughnut8984]

"2½ teaspoons is a Tablespoon" - Rumble Tumble, the guy who definitely understands measurements

[@sansfan2549]

i just learned earlier today that it's 3-1 so i was like what?

[@JustZal]

YESS OUR BOY RUMBLE TUMBLE!!!

[@mattymerr701]

He thought cups weren't metric...

[@macstokow]

Hmm but the funny man on the internet said it. It MUST be true.

[@poiri]

@@mattymerr701 wym? Cups is most certainly not a metric measurement.

[@X-SPONGED]

Expectations: _Dan makes a Basic Pizza_ Reality: _Dad makes a personal declaration of war against the entire mediterranean_

[@robertallan8035]

Literally a war crime against the entire Italian diaspora

[@kadebrockhausen]

My Maltese boyfriend was less offended by me wholeheartedly and unironically suggesting adding pineapple juice to the sauce than he was with this video.

[@ConnanTheCivilized]

@@kadebrockhausenPineapple Gang unite!

[@michaelneely123]

RT: "I have survived on this planet for 27 years" Also RT: "what is kneading" *slaps dough* ALSO RT: *opens mozzarella cheese with reckless abandon*

[@razagan1343]

*AFTER SPOTTING THAT THEIR IS LIQUID IN IT*

[@fantage20012]

Yeah who never learned how to knead? Please explain how it works, I'm begging you.

[@razagan1343]

@@fantage20012 Hmmmmm sounds likes something a no kneader would say, get him fellas!

[@hellothere3038]

@@fantage20012 basically you’re just gonna wanna stretch the gluten strands in the dough there’s really not a wrong way to do it (although every kneader will tell you that their way is the only way to do it) my preference is too pull from the bottom and push it into the top as I think it works the best and it looks funny

[@coolace2404]

@fantage20012 Essentially you fold and push down on the dough with the heel of your hand, multiple times to knead, adding a little bit of flour to the surface of where your kneading, the dough itself and your hands when it gets too sticky. The dough will go from a soft, sticky mess to a smooth, elastic dough.

[@sterlingholben7990]

Dan: Have Patience, Chat. Also Dan: rushes every single step of the cooking process that involves waiting.

[@ayannahf0702]

"What do you mean it has to proof for at least an hour?" ....Dan please

[@runed0s86]

Also Dan: throws out a whole bottle of perfectly good oregano. He's not acting like a dad...

[@freewilly1193]

@@runed0s86 also dan: uses expired frozen chicken. On a Margherita pizza. Where he just threw out oregano. Of expired dry herbs or expired frozen chicken, I would sooner trust the herbs.

[@K-7Maylis]

@@freewilly1193If he bought the chicken august 1st, the expiry date is august 10th and he freezes it the 3rd that chicken will not spoil in the freezer, it will only get freezerburn. I have eaten chicken I put in the freezer nearly a year ago and it's no different in taste. You can anyway smell immediately if chicken is old, it stinks so bad. That chicken is 100% trustworthy to eat unless it's been stored for years and got freezerburn or RT has a broken freezer.

[@sidoniegabrielle269]

sometimes i feel like i’m bad at cooking or baking and then i watch something like this and i feel like i’m either extremely talented or i’m just watching madness

[@SonicBoss1991]

It's both.

[@petloverspy]

I have not kneaded dough since I was a child and yet I am CRYING at his complete misunderstanding of it

[@thatpoemguy2083]

This is the single best demonstration of "too many cooks spoil the broth" I've ever seen.

[@mondolee]

I, too, shall add a bullion cube

[@reallouiethecat3132]

Idk man there was only one cook here and it spoiled anyways

[@alexanderreichert2966]

The number doesn't matter as long Dan isn't the one making the pizza

[@anonymousnlonely3315]

Same!

[@mattymerr701]

It's more a demonstration of "no cooks..."

[@jindo5]

Dan's reaction to Chat choosing salt and pepper out of his entire spice rack is like the D&D community's reaction when someone decides to play a Human Fighter

[@jasonwalker4003]

to be fair to both human fighters and salt&pepper, they are both a fantastic choice, a wonderful, essential, trustworthy combination that is a baseline to which all others can be measured. to be unique is not interesting without the freedom to be boring

[@wrenchy_]

@@jasonwalker4003 holy fuck this guy is a straight up poet

[@jasonwalker4003]

@@wrenchy_ I've just been watching a lot of college humor/ dropout stuff and emulating the way Brennen Lee Mulligan talks. he's such an incredible speaker I can't help but try and copy him lmao. I also genuinely believe both salt & pepper and human fighters rule

[@thewingedporpoise]

@@jasonwalker4003 to be fair Brennan was also the defender of the basic in that one sketch

[@johnnyshortfor]

Joining Brennan and Jason here in defending the basic with my beloved human fighter Ridley, who gets to be the delightfully basic contrast to her fascinating girlfriend Chrys the aasimar bardlock.

[@Emily-tv1iz]

As an American, listening to Dan quickly spout off nonsensical conversion rates to measure stuff made me understand how we sound to literally everyone else in the world.

[@lmnop29]

The immediate cut from "It's slimy I wonder why" to the mozzarella spilling all over the floor, and the pineapple being very unripe. ART

[@spidey5558]

A[RT]

[@denos1699]

The poetry of it all. It writes itself.

[@XEPHOURIA]

As a person who likes making bread, watching Dan not know how to knead was the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

[@Thomogon]

to be fair, the dough was way too wet

[@schippai3308]

one might even say he _kneads_ some help

[@kjk464]

Lmao 🤣 me too, he went right to making the shape

[@sabrinabenitezsalazar6481]

Him picking up the dough with fucking spatulas absolutely sent me

[@ElysiumCreator]

Agreed, the cat massage was so funny

[@adriannakm7]

As a former professional cook, this hurt. As a forever viewer of this channel, this was delightful!

[@normalotaku6022]

I read that as "former viewer" and thought, 'Yeah, that's fair.' XD

[@Vestige_]

@@normalotaku6022 wait it doesnt say former?

[@40BENADRYLL]

@@Vestige_FUCKING GABRIEL ULTRAKILL?

[@barbadot9879]

Everyone's (rightly) talking about the kneading and throwing away the origano, but I can't get over the fact he bought the CORRECT type of mozzarella but didn't know they come in with their water.

[@KleinesStein]

What I love about Dan’s metric solution using Cups is that it only works for water. The conversation of mL to Grams is designated only for water and therefore all measurements made using that are just off

[@KleinesStein]

@@GombySprangster I know, I feel so ashamed. I can’t believe I just came in with all that negative energy from the hate I gave off.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

I suppose as long as you're making something where everything has the same density, it doesn't become a problem, until it does.

[@Jadriam]

From ordering pizza to making pizza. One day he's gonna break Twitch records by pouring a glass a milk without spilling it, and then stream ten hours of grass growing.

[@princessmanitari4993]

I'd say 10 weeks of grass growing; gotta get those views

[@reinoflame]

10 years touching grass

[@clowntown3]

Dan is the kind of father to say he has something really special lined up and it's just him taking us to the shops to get a single packet of sweets

[@commanderriptide7723]

I love how happy Dan looks during the whole thing. He might not know how to cook but his heart is in the right place.

[@iexplainjokesforaliving.5415]

...just like the actual Linguini...

[@johnr797]

He a lil confused but he got the spirit

[@the-kumasu]

1. I think it's shocking how this is exactly what it's like to have your dad cook something 2. Good on Dan for trying to feed his 200k+ adopted children

[@ms.fukawa-hanamura3754]

That’s an insult to dads

[@jellyfish0311]

@@ms.fukawa-hanamura3754 some are like that actually, for example, Daniel

[@OjamaIndigo]

My parents used to own a pizzeria, and we’ve been making our own pizza nearly every week for years now. Every second of this video caused me great agony

[@homunculi0408]

Daniel: An English major Also Daniel: What does 'kneading' mean?

[@JozFoxx]

Also also Daniel: saying constituency instead of consistency

[@JustZal]

goes to show majors are useless, especially if its an english one

[@jacobnorris8256]

@@JozFoxx How do you know he wasn't talking about a group of voters in a specified area who elect a representative to a legislative body, huh?

[@danieljensen2626]

There are way too many words he doesn't know or doesn't know how to pronounce given his background. I love the man but I frequently wonder how he managed to get his degree.

[@oopsausername4111]

@@danieljensen2626 There was a video in which he didn't know what 'irreverent' meant (I think it was The Quarry or Until Dawn), and in that moment I lost every last bit of faith I had in him as an English major myself, bless his soul

[@alansmith6310]

Its obvious how good a chef he is because he didnt even need to read the recipe beforehand. What a culinary god.

[@hilotakenaka]

Hey Dan. To explain why the pizza was very strong in Olive Oil flavour; extra virgin olive oil is the stronger tasting stuff. Next time you attempt making a pizza, I suggest using light-tasting olive oil, which is also perfect to cook meat with if it’s using low temperatures

[@theonlygamerghost8525]

I don't know if I'm more surprised that Dan didn't know what kneading meant or that a mozzarella bag contains water

[@arthropodqueen]

they contain what?

[@zhanucong4614]

Thats because he bought normal mozzarella and not chemically dryed one

[@CoLiCoVis]

I pride myself on being a fairly good home cook. Watching Dan try to develop and proof the dough is wonderful.

[@DoKuShOsTaR]

I’m a homecook, but I still have yet to develop and proof my own dough. … At least I know HOW to though, lol.

[@GayAvocado]

Judging from how RT opened the mozzarella I conclude that he has never seen a kitchen or a camping grill, let alone a play-set of a kitchen

[@lucyocallaghan1627]

I just love how Dan has fully embraced the fact that he's chat's dad, "we're having a fun afternoon with your Dad" I cant with this guy 😂

[@BrassWing]

Dan throwing out "expired" oregano but not the expired chicken is making my brain melt

[@tsunamie1015]

It's because the Oregano wasn't frozen, duhh. :')

[@nanie_czka123]

They were both good xD frozen stuff lasts VERY LONG, as does dry stuff (spices, oats, etc)

[@joaquinceriani5033]

I love the part where chat was actually helping by saying "salt" and "pepper" because OBVIOUSLY RT thought it was replaceable with any other spice

[@Mooselover-jc1fq]

I felt physical pain when you started """"kneading"""" the dough

[@DeathnoteBB]

I gotta make it a round circle! Expectation: 🍊 Reality: 🟠

[@jrmorrow2]

Dan, we love your dedication. But delivery would be a lot less stressful

[@melskunk]

Did you see the last time he tried to get delivery on stream?

[@richardendresz161]

Well….I mean we’re talking about Rootin tootin “drift king” Dan here

[@omegaheartless]

Are you sure? Remember what happened last time?

[@manwithabasicprofilepic]

Why would you need delivery when you can have Dijornos?

[@blakksheep736]

You'd think that, but he tried that already, and it wasn't.

[@nunyab-]

the fact that he chooses violence at every opportunity, yet when the time comes to mash and beat up some dough he gently pats it instead

[@Loop_Kat]

From now on, all RT cooking streams are legally required to have at least one (1) Cakejumper present to supervise

[@ytuser4562]

Is that who that is?

[@Loop_Kat]

​@@ytuser4562 I don't remember if she shows up in this pizza video, but Cakejumper (same name on Twitch and KZbin) is one of RT's Irish friends. She the short lass who does a lot of baking streams and she's been in RT's previous cooking/baking videos, such as the car Kirby cake and the caterpillar cake

[@techno1561]

@@ytuser4562 No, the one behind the camera in this stream is Kelli/QueenRowlet. Cake would be several brands of horrified if she saw him make pizza this way, almost certainly.

[@techno1561]

​@@Loop_Kat I think those were filmed after this, since someone asked him whether he'd learned to knead yet on one of those streams, and we found out here he didn't.

[@rosemary3029]

​@@techno1561i wouldn't blame her either

[@alt_f4_me]

I'm just now realizing that not everyone learned the fundamentals of baking as a kid, but I'm fucking cackling

[@SeaKaned]

Dan, 180 grams of ONLY WATER is 180 ml of ONLY WATER. It DOES NOT APPLY TO ANYTHING ELSE. (It technically doesn't even apply to water because it's more like 0.99987 liters per kilogram but oh well)

[@Art.Wolfaryon]

lol, i was yelling at the screen when he was saying the cup was 30 ml so it was 30gr, like... that's not how it works.

[@PGraveDigger1]

To be fair, most organic compounds are about 1 gram per milliliter. It won't be exact, but it's roughly the same.

[@ironpro7217]

To be fair any liquid used in cooking is like 90% water so it will be about 1g/ml too

[@patrickdix772]

@@ironpro7217 except for oils, since those are both a liquid and not at all water

[@kairensintal]

@@PGraveDigger1 that's just not true. Sugar is almost twice as dense as flour, if you want 300g flour and 300g sugar and end up with 300g flour and 520g sugar, that will totally mess with your hypothetical cake

[@cheyanne2001]

Him not kneading the dough to not letting it sit gave me anxiety but his quips and personality made it bearable lol. I wonder how it tasted tho...

[@Nataniahuahu]

If it was someone else this video would've been absolutely miserable

[@SoapyFae]

Judging by his reaction at the end:not good

[@lilyblossom9438]

I want die ate it and that's why he wants to die

[@makeda6530]

Taste wise probably passable but I'm sure the texture was insane, the dough barely had any gluten development.

[@abbytadano1666]

salty i imagine

[@cee_ves]

Can’t believe we let this Irish Canadian guy claim he was Irish for this long. He doesn’t even use metric. What’s next? He pays someone a compliment without using a swear? Jesus Christ just the thought…

[@varogoth]

I mean, the copious amounts of alcohol in the kitchen makes up for it.

[@Emily-tv1iz]

I read this in my normal internal voice (American accent) and then somehow the Irish anger of the comment shone through enough for said internal voice to fully switch to an Irish accent

[@sentienttapioca5409]

@@varogoth Copious amounts?! I saw three bottles, tops. The clear bottle's just tonic water.

[@ragnaros7889]

@@varogoth Copious for who? AA member?

[@ladyleofwine]

he's not even 100% Irish

[@dsalucas]

Worked at a pizza place, just smiling through the suffering, from the "kneading" to not proofing to pressing it out on a wood cutting board to the unseasoned sauce... Anyway good job Dan.

[@radionoisee]

Me: What could possibly go wrong? It's just pizza. RT: What's kneading mean? Me: Oh shit-

[@imieb]

As a certified baker, Iḿ crying so hard

[@Abrifq]

As a certified cryer, I'm morbing so hard

[@koenvandamme6901]

As a hobby baker/Ooni owner with a thing for bread doughs and the like, I'm right there with you.

[@firstlast9855]

As a uncertified baker, I'm shitting my shorts

[@redtomato4903]

International keyboard moment

[@ocal123]

pain

[@elfishawol4506]

RT have you ever cooked or watched someone cook or been a human being on this planet before?

[@sulfur3684]

honestly, i have a friend who grew up with a single father and he never baked anything because he had no time so he only learned baking in school

[@BetaTester704]

Not likely

[@danielled8665]

Evidence leads me to believe that no

[@RaveDecoy242]

this is what happens when you destroy too many cities and blend too many babies. PSA.

[@starlittardis2049]

Yes, but unfortunately it was Kevin's Baking Bad series.

[@0blitzer04]

This is actually great because it emphasizes the need for a high degree of specificity in directions.

[@solarcupid2583]

I was terrified the moment RT said he didn't need to clear the flour from the pan. If you didn't know, flour is extremely combustible. I knew he'd probably get rid of it, but the instinctual fear was intense

[@Mendoza-yi6qk]

He nearly ate a poisonous flower in a stream, now he nearly burned down his kitchen what is next?

[@DecayOpossum]

@@Mendoza-yi6qk i know this is 5 months old but now i need to know when did he nearly eat a poisonous flower???

[@Mendoza-yi6qk]

@@DecayOpossum during the date with his twitch channel, it is a video

[@DecayOpossum]

@@Mendoza-yi6qk ohhhh i forgot about that. thanks!

[@techno1561]

On the other hand, the oven exploding would be very in-character for an RT stream

[@lord_razur]

I need this video fully captioned with notes on everything Dan did wrong

[@TheSkyRender]

Could we make a list of what he did right instead? That's much, much shorter!

[@TheSamWise7]

RT: "we're supposed to be having fun. This is fun" Chat: *strapped down in a chair, stressed and trying to escape*

[@Xanthelei]

Quick reminder: This man has played Cooking Mama on stream before. He has kneaded dough in that game multiple times. Somehow he blocked all of that out to the point of not having even a sliver of a memory of what kneading is.

[@Nightstick24]

Wow. Thank you for this. I cannot explain how much confidence this just gave me. I DO, in fact, know how to cook, apparently, because this made my brain melt. Very entertaining, but please know that I absolutely do judge you, very strongly, for not knowing what kneading is. I hope a random stranger you'll never meet in your life, who also doesn't cook for himself when he absolutely should judging your lack of kneading skills weighs on you. Heavily.

[@Butzy1]

This is what happens when Remy isnt controlling him anymore

[@C.L.Stinnett]

I'm so distracted by how handsome Dan is I'm completely excusing the bad cooking

[@Layorgenla]

Dan's a real tesco lad, so much of his kitchen contains tesco products and spices especially. Just been making pasta and used a bunch of our tesco spices from our huge spice shelf

[@hopewrld]

Dan let his intrusive thoughts win and ate raw pizza dough 😭

[@AviendhaR]

man's gonna get e coli from raw flour 😭😭😭😭

[@funkywunkywunker]

You can eat raw pizza dough lol it's just not reccomended for taste

[@ravenanne1734]

@@funkywunkywunker Naw, raw flour is still raw, and raw things ain't very safe. Sure most of the time you won't get ill, but there's a chance, so it's better to just not do it.

[@PGraveDigger1]

@@ravenanne1734 How about raw fruits, vegetables, nuts, or something like carpaccio or sushi?

[@ItsSeraphie]

This was great but there were also parts where I genuinely wasn't sure if you were taking the piss. Undoubtedly the best pizza video i've ever seen

[@DeathnoteBB]

There was a solid minute during the ‘kneading’ I was like “Is this a joke? Am I the fool?” It truly broke me.

[@SnooLuna]

Dan trying to "knead" the dough was truly chaotic on stream. The whole chat was screaming at him lmao

[@cheesynoodles6930]

Watching this man try to figure out what kneading dough is the best entertainment I’ve ever had.

[@comeetmario1983]

As an Italian myself, who has a real dad who knows how to make delicious pizzas, I didn't know it was possible to get this frustrated over Dan making pizza

[@essixthefalcon8657]

As someone that studied food tech and makes pizza every other week, this brought me more agony than playing through blue lions in three houses

[@thereallifesaiyan]

what’s wrong? Hunting by Daybreak is the beeeeesssttttt

[@happyhatebot]

Next time the husband complains about how I cook, now I have something to show him. Thanks, Dan! It takes a special kind of person to make me feel confident in my cooking skills, and you have done marvelously.

[@fabra1122]

Just dump the husband *jk

[@RobertCoberly9999]

Watching this man say that Pizza Hut is premium pizza is kind of like a fever dream I once had.

[@lizzuuu3831]

"The pizza just doesn't run out!" That's because nobody wants to eat it, Dan. They just pass it around like a hot potato. XD

[@TheHutchy01]

“The dwarf bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot.”

[@neonbunnies9596]

RT needs to play the Papa restaurant games. There's so much chaos that goes on in the average day

[@LeCheckmate]

Papa's Sworderia makes particularly yummy food

[@steveradroach9101]

Papa's Burgers with a 20ft tall tower of mayonnaise 😋

[@kapa_nitori]

@@steveradroach9101 ### burger!!!!!

[@olioliravioli6619]

How does he not know what kneading dough is? Or that it’s supposed to rise? Or that you don’t put flour on the damn baking trays?

[@kofimoon-vv-8279]

I'm sorry you don't cover the tray with flour?

[@JourneyTHistory]

It's on a knead to know basis

[@quintonwinton7210]

Simple he never made nor was taught how to make dough before

[@BetaTester704]

He's never made food in his life

[@colin5227]

Truly we dont know

[@1001airstrikes]

I make a homemade pizza every week. This video makes me want to tape my process and send it to you. I died when you tried to make the dough

[@Razruer]

Hey if you do, I'd be down to watch it!

[@abbyaubichon9468]

Hey RtgameDad. honestly these dad videos help me so much. i don’t have that great of a relationship with my dad, so having an internet dad really helps me :) thanks for being a mediocre dad who gives extra cheese!

[@toomanydum4084]

damn i wasnt gonna say anything but same

[@HazeEmry]

I highly recommend a channel called "Dad How Do I". He's the undisputed internet dad imo. He helps those who don't have anyone to ask questions you would usually ask your parent. Heard of the dude a while back, idk if he's still going but I'm sure his backlog of content would help anyone some way or another

[@fishbowlliz]

18:14 I just love how the glass jumped in fear when RT put the pineapple on the cutting board.

[@TheHutchy01]

Dan with a knife is concerning.

[@334yopf]

Finally, another episode of Baking Bad. Been waiting a long time for this

[@gamerman3455]

As someone who works at a bakery. Him "kneading" hurts me physically.

[@nixxthefox]

My girlfriend periodically sent me timestamps of this video to watch and every time I could feel Dan's sanity slipping more and more

[@omikashiyt]

As a pastry chef.... I'll be willing to give Dan my certificate, just to MAKE. HIM. STOP

[@Error-Monarch]

Rt i genuinely do not know how to describe what watching you make this pizza has done to me. It physically pained me but was also the best thing I’ve watched today,, also I’m pretty sure the ominous oven noises were just the pans warping from the heat. Could be wrong but it’s happened many times to my poor long suffering cookie sheets.

[@flowersimulator]

I'm glad the magical spice cupboard bit made it in- I feel like twitch chat didn't appreciate it enough

[@Mel0nMel]

Dan not knowing how to kneed is probably the funniest thing ever

[@sealeo5772]

The moment I saw him set down the raw flour instead of a bowl of dough that had been proofing for an hour already, I knew we were in for a special experience.

[@Vinewood8]

I am always amazed at how little content creators know about cooking, apparently you can either make food or make good content. Dan is clearly a cut above as he has the skill to make both of them masterpieces

[@Cruxinoli]

Dan having a spice drawer yet not knowing how to knead is just.. killing me

[@doreknob]

you know it's gonna be bad when dan thinks 2.5 teaspoons is a tablespoon rather than 3, not to mention his "kneading". It's so beautifully bad. Like watching a car crash you just can't look away from

[@mystikalgalaxy]

For anyone else struggling with kneading: Push the dough with the palm of your hands, fold it, turn the dough, and repeat. Also, you should test if the dough has been kneaded enough by poking it. If the dough bounces back, you've done it. Good job! You get an imaginary sticker!! :) I'd share the recipe for cinnamon rolls I used in my baking class to give you homework. But I just explained how you knead the dough. And that in itself is a sign I shouldn't.

[@HazeEmry]

That's... Probably for the best

[@shibainu2528]

Basically - Give the dough a deep tissue massage while folding and turning it. Do it for like, I don't know, 2-3 minutes? Long enough until it feels "right"

[@truff3710]

dan's streams are usually very calming for me but this was the first one that really stressed me out. i am only halfway through the video (thank u still dan for all the vids)

[@bentheperson8992]

"150 mL is 150 grams" made me curl up and sob

[@rqmennn]

Never really had a dad growing up but I like to imagine it’s like this.

[@jungmusohn5230]

i have never seen chat so frustrated lol

[@KleioChronicles]

Why does Dan remind me of a praying mantis so so much? Especially when he’s kneading dough.

[@Kingolimar354]

Because he looks like one

[@weeb_dweeb]

Oh no, poor guy will never be able to get laid.

[@Doge-lb8dq]

i dont know dude

[@bugfriendz]

actual bugman. i strive to have this demeanor

[@thatoneguy9582]

-love that there are four replies and i can’t see any of them-

[@VampireofEmotion]

I used to work for a well known UK&Irish pizza chain and... yep 100% RT can get hired as a chef, perfect technique.

[@stopthinkmove]

I'd love to see Dan on any sort of competitive cooking show it would be a disaster

[@ConnanTheCivilized]

You don’t think the judges would like his poop soufflé?

[@shalluna]

Dan taking a bite of his pizza then chasing with whiskey on the rocks is very telling of how good the pizza is