Dr. Henry Cloud | What Are Boundaries?

[@nozrep]

have been about boundaries for years now after being introduced to Dr. Cloud’s work through listening to the Dave Ramsey show for many years. And then sort of mostly understanding the concept in theory, and choosing to form my own boundaries which I definitely lacked for a long time. Yet also never had bought the book. Now finally bought off audible and started listening to it today Christmas 2022! Merry Christmas all!

[@lorianncrownedingrace3741]

i am 54 and just learning how to set Godly boundaries. i have paid for not having them before. i look forward to this class and community! Thank you!!

[@winterroses2020]

I would love a video about how it affects a relationship when a romantic partner, family member, or friend has weak boundaries with other people, and how it affects the person in a relationship with them, and how to handle it and how to think about it, and how to talk to the other person so that they can understand how their poor boundaries with others is affecting you.

[@nozrep]

very good idea and question. Yet also unfortunately, occasionally, sometimes, there is no useful way to talk to a person like that even in a calm way because sometimes people like that get triggered at even calm, meaningful attempts to have sane, adult conversations about adult boundaries. But I would also say that it is good to try.

[@DebraJMSmith]

I'm all for boundaries. However we need to keep in mind that others also have boundaries. For instance, if we become total "me me" people that stick it to others, by being unfair, they might just set a boundary of their own. Bottom line, our setting a boundary that we ourselves would not like, could blow up on us. I do feel that some counselors are neglectful in teaching good and bad boundaries. A good boundary says, "I must be fair to my spouse's side of the family when it comes to Christmas visits." A bad boundary says, "If I want to spend more Christmas holidays with my in-laws than with my parents (for no good reason), I can. I will visit you on Christian, mom, when I darn well please, and you had better always have that door open to me." --That adult kid, might just find that he/she is no longer invited for Christmas. You see, mom can set boundaries too.

[@azaleaslightsage1271]

Agreed, I have found this boundary setting has been used for selfishness, self centred people. Boundaries were meant for abuse to stop abuse, now everyone is using them in friendships in everything with no compromise, all goid strong relationships require compromise on both sides but people are using Boundaries as an excuse to not compromise at all.

[@eyesthatsmile-heartthatlov8050]

That's the point, we all have boundaries that need to be respected and the person setting the boundaries must be ready to dismiss whatever the person's response in trying to regain control over you.

[@eyesthatsmile-heartthatlov8050]

​@@azaleaslightsage1271If it is not in your best interest to compromise on your principles, you don't have to. If the person will not respect your answer and keep trying to control your actions to get you to relent; then you set the boundary signaling you will not tolerate this disrespect any longer and stand firm.

[@RunnyBabbitMom]

My teens even like your lessons. We are now reworking a few we worked when I first joined. Thank you so much for this wonderful resource. 🤗

[@grannypat412]

Great teaching ❤

[@anoopgopalakrishnan7823]

Boundaries are "Simple no" said to anything and anyone that draws power from you. Power is your direct connection with God. God informs you, guides you, respects you & provide for you. Anyone or anything that disrupts your natural connection with God is breaking the boundaries and should be questioned and said "No, thank you".

[@storyhubky8756]

Your books totally changed my life, now I can be free and have control over my life. Thank God for your message.

[@azaleaslightsage1271]

How? How did his books change your life ?😊

[@danigali617]

Why facebook did not allow me to share this video? this is insane!

[@gcamp83]

I really want to know about that painting in the background.

[@juneo7]

this is very helpful as i obviously its clicking for me , I have given permission because I haven't left the marriage yet.

[@kevintomich6445]

Dr Cloud thank you for everything you do. Wealth of information I have applied many times. Could you possibly answer a question regarding boundaries in a marriage separation ? Thanks again God Bless

[@languagetuition]

Missing your LVP Dr Cloud 😎

[@simenpn3899]

Nice book

[@dahlia42k12]

Thank You Doctor Cloud! Love you videos!! Please do more of them.

[@DrHenryCloud]

Every Tuesday and Thursday!

[@centralpark404]

Dr. Cloud, I am a huge fan of your work and you've helped me so much. I was wondering if you had a non-religious Boundaries edition I can pass along to so many of my friends who are not Christian. I know the principles and values that Christians share translate across religions. But they always seem reluctant to read this book because they feel like they'd be going against or straying from their spiritual path, which I want to respect. ♥️ Any advice?

[@DrHenryCloud]

Thanks for reaching out about this! Send a message to my team about that at [e-mail]!

[@mariewilken2033]

An satanist gave me Dr Cloud's book on Boundaries. She saw I needed it.

[@12roosterde]

Dr Cloud I love your books and podcast etc, but I have real trouble with this definition...specifically because some big issues I have are with people who share the ownership and responsibility for the property where I live. I think this definition might speak too much to homeowners. How can you include people struggling with a place to live and knowing where they belong like refugees and homeless people in your definition? maybe I'm just missing the point but it would be great to hear from you!

[@juneo7]

help Dr. Henry Cloud what do you do in a case of a narcissist spouse with porn/ date sites /hotline chats addiction..long term issue!?

[@blueberrydiw8340]

Run

[@billhildebrand5053]

You may want to try this..kzbin.info/www/bejne/mpKanqFqoJaUmpY

[@billhildebrand5053]

Episode 2 of Dr Cloud. Around 2:38 moment

[@billhildebrand5053]

Episode 66 too

[@Solar-Busters]

My boundaries are well defined by staying the hell away from judgemental, critical finger pointing, back stabing churched up HYPOCRITES & any or all HYPOCRITES in general

[@nozrep]

we are all hypocrites according to the Bible, saved and unsaved alike. And also, good for you! I absolutely agree with staying away from backstabbers of any and all kinds and yes there are unfortunately plenty of them in churches also.

[@janetoliver4266]

Dr cloud we are not talking about a building. Perhaps you later get to the.point

[@tamelashafer8852]

💜♾🙏🏼🕉

[@eckerna2963]

Ap

[@cameronszn9]

Hi, is protecting my sister from my friends trying to date her a boundary??? I don’t “own” her so she’s not my property but she is my sister and I want to set boundaries

[@billhildebrand5053]

No, that is control. She has to set her own boundary😇

[@cameronszn9]

@@billhildebrand5053 eh not sure.

[@billhildebrand5053]

@@cameronszn9 I think you are just showing love, not setting boundaries . In a sense, if it were your wife, you would be protecting her, she is your property. 1 Cor 13 “ love always protects”. I will think about it more..

[@billhildebrand5053]

In “Boundaries” page 134 says, this (triangulation) is a clear lack of boundaries because Person “A” is not owning her anger. What you can do is explain to her how to set boundaries, and why you must do so... that’s in chapter 7 of Clouds book...

[@nozrep]

try it and find out!😅😂😅😂 come back and tell us how successful controlling your sister’s life was. Or, heck, convert to Islam. That’s a part of their religion, full and total control over their women.

[@karenpetersen9035]

I think this is an exceptionally bad definition. Speaks far too much about what others are doing. A boundary should be a simple line over which I am not willing to step. Not only unwilling, but completely ready to take whatever action it takes to not step over it.

[@nozrep]

well then you are totally missing the point. Yes, absolutely, what you say is a type of boundary, yes. Dr. Cloud’s work is specifically in relation to setting mentally healthy psychological and social boundaries for yourself, against other people who would violate such boundaries. They are both highly necessary types of boundaries in life! What you say, and what he says!