3 Coping Skills For Insecurity That DON’T Work (And One That Does!)

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Dr. Scott Eilers

Dr. Scott Eilers

Күн бұрын

Insecurity is a universal human experience, not a personal failing. Most coping methods actually reinforce insecurities rather than resolving them.
Embracing insecurities as identity reinforces negative thoughts. Denying weaknesses leads to reality harshly exposing them. Overcompensating through impression management is exhausting.
I'll show you how to overcome insecurity through incremental self-improvement. Facing insecurities through gradual exposure therapy diminishes their power.
Join me for a live conversation and Q&A Thursday, May 16th at 4pm est. Here's the link: bit.ly/losthopeinlifelive
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00:00 Coping with Insecurity: Understanding Common Pitfalls
04:21 The Pitfalls of Denying Insecurities
08:38 The Pitfalls of Overcompensation in Dealing with Insecurity
12:42 Effective Coping: Addressing Insecurities Through Skill Development
16:46 Effective Strategy: Incremental Skill Development to Overcome Insecurities
Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.
But I do care.

Пікірлер: 142
@Liz-wz8dh
@Liz-wz8dh Ай бұрын
You're one of the few therapists who actually admits that certain techniques therapists tell you to use just don't work. I got tired of therapists years ago giving bad advice.
@scotscub76
@scotscub76 Ай бұрын
He's brill. His book is fantastic too. You can tell he knows what it's like to struggle.
@jason5265
@jason5265 Ай бұрын
For me, insecurity = avoidance
@hannahdeforest9148
@hannahdeforest9148 Ай бұрын
That's interesting. Can you share what you mean? I'm interested in understanding your point. I think I understand where you're coming from, but I'm not sure.
@rianbenedito7772
@rianbenedito7772 Ай бұрын
In a world that social media influences the way that you think, I'm thankful that KZbin recommended your videos, you're helping me to know myself
@stevec404
@stevec404 Ай бұрын
Insecurities trigger us to shrink from them. Those without much mental health baggage dive right in to the challenge and start to learn. Very small steps forward do add up. We can all do that. An exception is if excess outside pressure ads to the insecurity, such as having a demanding person over us complaining about a lack of skill...and offering no guidance at all (as in a toxic workplace).
@sneakerbabeful
@sneakerbabeful Ай бұрын
Not everything can be overcome.
@jadeybabes33
@jadeybabes33 Ай бұрын
My worst 'habit ' with insecurity is being a 'doormat' I guess. I'm so nice, accommodating and considerate to people so they like me that I let them walk all over me. I guess this is number 3# over compensation
@iannorton2253
@iannorton2253 Ай бұрын
My dad was the person who gave me the most insecurities; basically, he was a bully and constantly critical of the way I looked and everything I did. I've got a friend who criticises me and has no qualms about doing so. If I object, he tells me I'm being oversensitive. My sister and my niece also make fun of certain aspects of my character, in that I'm quite clumsy. Nobody has any awareness that these things hurt me. Yes, I am sensitive, insecure and severely lacking in confidence. I struggle in social situations, at work (although I'm currently unemployed) and have never had a successful relationship. I'm 61 y.o., so it's been going on a long time.
@arabellacox
@arabellacox Ай бұрын
Get rid of anyone that doesn't uplift you! Sometimes you've got to be your own 'wingman' when others have failed you. Don't settle.
@Liz-wz8dh
@Liz-wz8dh Ай бұрын
It sounds like your friend is not actually your friend.
@heatherwiner2883
@heatherwiner2883 Ай бұрын
I am insecure about 90 percent in life and especially at work and social situations. But, I like your advice.
@arabellacox
@arabellacox Ай бұрын
Borderline Personality Disorder - it felt like prison in my head when I was in a relationship last year. I was consumed with insecurity & jealousy. I just can't do relationships. It's very sad. Complex PTSD from childhood is the cause and it's very hard to put right, can't ever imagine being 'normal' or 'secure' in this lifetime.
@tyherahansen8914
@tyherahansen8914 Ай бұрын
I feel ya, same here
@ukchris64
@ukchris64 Ай бұрын
I am totally with you on the prison thing. I have to push myself to actually go out, and when I do it is rarely ever enjoyable. Sad reality is there is no place i nlife for those who cannot fit in and I just want it all to end. Therapy and medication do nothing life is just too much to bear.
@AlloftheGoodNamesAreTaken
@AlloftheGoodNamesAreTaken Ай бұрын
@@ukchris64I get this way. I feel like there is no place for me out in the world. I wish I knew how to be friends and all that, but added to my lack of that ability is my age. After a certain age, people have their friend groups and there is no place. I think this is why elderly people get so lonely as their friends begin to die. People say, “go make new friends,” but no one acknowledges that it’s not as simple. I hope you will find a way to hang on. I wish there was a place for people who do not fit whatever the hell norm we are supposed to. Society is so cold to people who can’t figure out all those social cues. 😢
@kikijewell2967
@kikijewell2967 Ай бұрын
Hey, wanted to chime in here since I'm dealing with much the same. So here's something I learned: burnout and depression are different and treating them can be diametrically opposed. Before the pandemic, when I was depressed, I'd host dinner parties or other get togethers. But now, I'm just burned out. So my approach for dealing with the depression by seeing people must be in the context of burnout. So here's my own plan: Do NOT attend any events with strangers. Better: visit only friends I know will be healthy for me. Set up a Sign up Genius for socializing. I'm going to try either every two weeks or once a month. Have single person, low energy meetups. Favor NO ENERGY meetups, like talk on the phone, or stream a favorite game for any friends who want to watch and chat (especially if you're avoiding people by gaming!) Have body doubling meetups where a friend just comes over to keep you company while you do a difficult chore. (You can also reverse the favor, as super low energy - you don't even have a chore!) Lastly (and probably the most important!) schedule _rest!_ I'm good at scheduling events, but it never occurred to me to schedule rest after or even before. That's a game changer for me. _I need to see people_ to get over my depression. However, I'm also so burned out that I have no energy to do so. I need to look at the problem differently and solve it on my scale. Which is the point of this video. :) Best of luck to all of you here. ❤❤❤️
@maxsheerin8219
@maxsheerin8219 Ай бұрын
Same and same. I feel broken and starting to think, is this it. Yet i do remind myself, this will pass. Be kind to ourselves 💝
@oldschool8330
@oldschool8330 Ай бұрын
Never once thought you had big ears Dr Scott!
@joanfolds476
@joanfolds476 Ай бұрын
My late mother was my biggest bully. She suffered from BPD.
@vikendarakjian2612
@vikendarakjian2612 Ай бұрын
From my own example I was ashamed to tell people that I don’t know how to ride a bicycle and that haunted me for decades. Every time the people wanted you to plan a fun activity that included cycling I would come up with all kinds of hideous excuses one of them was “oh I’m too drunk to ride a bicycle now” until the day being older than 35 years I had the courage to learn how to ride it … but my life took a sharp turn to the worse and there is nobody left in my life to do such activities with 🤷‍♂️🙄😢
@LostGirlAt22
@LostGirlAt22 Ай бұрын
Please make a video about how to deal with our inner thoughts keep telling us we can't do stuff even when ourself know that we actually can, very struggling with this one, always love how you explain things, full of compassion and no judgement
@susanmercurio1060
@susanmercurio1060 Ай бұрын
I had a "boyfriend" in West Virginia who was proud that he couldn't read or write. Obviously he didn't have a good vocabulary. Finally I told him that people had words for things so that they didn't have to point at things and say "that." Re: learning the names of tools
@_Chessa_
@_Chessa_ Ай бұрын
Country home, take me home to the place, I belong… miss WV.. but it sucks he never learned to read or write. Almost had the same thing happen to me and I thank the patient tutor when we hit that amazing point of when I finally grasped how to read. I was 8 or 9 and reading was so difficult.
@scotscub76
@scotscub76 Ай бұрын
The first one is useful for deflecting if someone is being rude or trying to pick at your insecurity maliciously. It can be helpful to smile then repeat the comment back but magnify it. If I don't do this I just fall to pieces.😂 I'm aware of my insecurities and this makes me feel more in control of the interaction. I absolutely find Dr. Eilers work incredibly though. 😊
@purrsephone2904
@purrsephone2904 Ай бұрын
I'm much older and retired. I find the thing that seems to have helped me most is being permanently away from the people who hurt me. That wasn't always possible when I was younger and working for a living. I'm becoming comfortable with myself and beginning to understand what held me back from reaching my potential. Another thing that's helped me a lot is finding a good friend. I'm an introvert, and I feel that just the experience of living and learning is worthwhile in and of itself.
@joshuaberry4888
@joshuaberry4888 Ай бұрын
Dr. Scott your the best
@junegagnon6506
@junegagnon6506 Ай бұрын
Its true i do feel like i am in a mental prison. And do feel very criopled.
@MargaretHorridge-fy5bx
@MargaretHorridge-fy5bx Ай бұрын
Me too ❤❤❤
@junegagnon6506
@junegagnon6506 Ай бұрын
​@@MargaretHorridge-fy5bxthank-you Margaret for the encouragement. .. we all need to talk about these things. At least I think it helps...❤
@ericar2856
@ericar2856 Ай бұрын
If people are talking about your hair, they have nothing else to do. Get over it, you are so great for providing these videos. You're an amazing human being.
@maggiemondo7459
@maggiemondo7459 Ай бұрын
There is no doubt you are a handsome chap with a talent for conveying life strategies to overcome/get ahead with mental stuff which trips us all up. Thank you.
@klanderkal
@klanderkal Ай бұрын
I foolishly retired,... became very insecure. ... caused depression.
@janetslicer3637
@janetslicer3637 Ай бұрын
I've never even looked at your ears! I look at your book cover! I am retired, I am not insecure about anything anymore. 🎉
@CyndieAmala
@CyndieAmala Ай бұрын
Aw you're adorable Dr. Scott 💗 who's trolling you!? 😡 Let me at em!
@saeveth
@saeveth Ай бұрын
You have my axe. 😂
@Thoughtworld1984
@Thoughtworld1984 Ай бұрын
He is untrollable. So, so smart and best in his field
@doreenessihos6144
@doreenessihos6144 Ай бұрын
I never noticed your ears until you brought it up. They are not overly big at all. I do not understand why people would say this. My youngest son can really get at me about my insecurities.
@sandraoxford883
@sandraoxford883 Ай бұрын
Thank you for the common sense view and straight forward tips/strategies that are actually easy to understand for me. I was home schooled and I’m realising now how much it’s impacted me. Your approach in this video is really going to help me. I’m currently in the process of changing careers from being a cleaner because it’s too hard on me physically. And I’m going for an entry level PSA job in a hospital in a few weeks. Before I watched your video I was actually subconsciously growing, as I pushed myself in my personal life to just ask myself questions with no judgment as if I was answering questions to what the job would have me do. It was so cool and foreign to me as I started to feel more natural and started being more outgoing with it, vocalising to myself, and I started to even feel smarter. Then I watched your video and realised it’s like what you were saying!!! So now I’m going to be doing this with other things too, also with tools 😂 and being put on the spot with work interview questions, slowly getting more confidence. I can definitely say it’s working and I’m super excited. I also lack common sense which my husband mentioned could be from homeschooling. I didn’t have opportunities to be in certain environments and experience life more, I’m really excited to grow. I also loved your video about overwhelm and I’m going to do those strategies. Thank you so much ☺️
@carmony13
@carmony13 Ай бұрын
Okay #3 is ME! Everything you said about #3 is absolutely me. And Dr. Scott is 100% correct. When people start pointing it out, i get so pissed.
@Liz-wz8dh
@Liz-wz8dh Ай бұрын
Same. I think I spend too much time trying NOT to be like that to others so it irritates me when others do it.
@davidbrislin1126
@davidbrislin1126 Ай бұрын
Man, you are the best. Cannot thank you enough for how much these videos have helped me in the last 6 months.
@cheeseman417
@cheeseman417 Ай бұрын
As far as the coping mechanism you highlighted of putting up a shell that's what i had to do for my entire childhood in the schools i went to!, it's like verbal self flagellation , beating yourself raw so it satisfies the bullies so they leave you alone!, but yeah, to yourself you feel worse like, "wow! look what I have to do to survive this experience!" man, life sucks
@susanmercurio1060
@susanmercurio1060 Ай бұрын
9:15 You are going to be faced, not with your own insecurity, but with your own inadequacy. Many of the situations that you describe of getting exposed are about one's inadequacy, which causes the insecurity: cover-ups of your inadequacy. If you can take an honest self-appraisal, you can accept that you don't have some skills and you can learn those things to make yourself adequate in the areas you want to improve.
@sneakerbabeful
@sneakerbabeful Ай бұрын
Insecurity/inadequacy is not always due to lack of skills! Some of us are disabled, or disfigured, or maybe just not very smart. And we feel immense shame, and insecurity.
@tjr9741
@tjr9741 Ай бұрын
Thank you sir for taking the time to post these videos.
@_Chessa_
@_Chessa_ Ай бұрын
Best video Dr Scott. I’m not crying.. okay I’m totally crying..
@cherylcalogero3330
@cherylcalogero3330 Ай бұрын
I'm so glad I found your channel. Its given me hope. You seem to understand and have empathy for the struggling. Thank you Dr Scott. I plan on viewing lots more from your channel.
@jallen3556
@jallen3556 Ай бұрын
You're an inspiration, my friend.
@jod6cindy
@jod6cindy Ай бұрын
Thank you, Dr. Scott, for the extremely important work you do. Would you please consider doing a video addressing those of us who feel tired of ourselves? I'm sure I can't be the only one who feels that way. I am so very tired of myself...and it's an extremely sad feeling. Thank you very much for considering it for a future topic.
@pippacarron1861
@pippacarron1861 Ай бұрын
As usual, excellent advice. So thanks. You are so relatable and your voice is very easy to listen to. I've said it before, but want to repeat, I think that you are the only psychologist worth listening to on KZbin.
@57auxmoines
@57auxmoines Ай бұрын
Thank you. Another seldom heard and supported topic.
@sravyavarali9191
@sravyavarali9191 Ай бұрын
But what if your insecurities are physical attributes like your nose, your lips, etc. This advice makes it seem like cosmetic surgery is the way to resolve those insecurities. My
@laurah2831
@laurah2831 Ай бұрын
I'm really confused. Why would you invest time learning about tools (presumably secretly to avoid shame?) in order to fit in? Did you actually want to learn mechanics? I think it's more important to really question why something is important to us. Lots of things were important to me, that I invested all my energy and time into, and ultimately it destroyed my health. Even though many of those things were health-related!
@rogaface
@rogaface Ай бұрын
Thank you Dr Scott, this was really helpful 🙏
@marypunkah
@marypunkah Ай бұрын
Very helpful advice if your insecurities are about your skills - what do I do when I feel insecure about my looks?
@Beth-AnneLye
@Beth-AnneLye Ай бұрын
Thank you, your insight has been so helpful.
@SKKVTOL
@SKKVTOL Ай бұрын
Another great video I love hearing your point of view on these topics!
@mehlover
@mehlover Ай бұрын
Yeah, the last one is what my therapist also suggests to me. This is helpful because it does get me out of the rumination cycle, but it's terrifying because I'm learning how to do it while I have negative voices and anxiety going on in my head. I always feel like I'm competing and comparing myself to others, which also isn't helpful. But trying to focus more on the microsteps instead of the macro is another good way to reframe it
@arabellacox
@arabellacox Ай бұрын
'Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffries was a book that due to my ADHD I didnt get round to reading! But I've never forgotten the title and have used it on many occasions in the last 30+ years. Life isn't always comfortable. Personal growth always always involves pain to some degree or being uncomfortable at least - think of it as 'growing pains' but each time you stretch yourself it gets a little bit easier. It's like physical workout, the more you push yourself the more you can do. And the buzz you get when you 'feel the fear and do it anyway' is immense! A note to the younger viewers, it does get easier, your confidence will get to the point you don't give a shit what other people think - trust me. Until then, blag it! Act! Make believe! Whatever you have to do to overcome your fears xxx
@sneakerbabeful
@sneakerbabeful Ай бұрын
Some of us don't have a comfort zone.
@AlexisTwoLastNames
@AlexisTwoLastNames Ай бұрын
what if you’re a young person (26, idk if you consider that young) who used to be confident and grew into self-hate and worthlessness? is there still hope for me? it feels like i’m getting worse every yr.
@arabellacox
@arabellacox Ай бұрын
@AlexisTwoLastNames at 26 you're still a baby! I'm 53 and still blagging it! But I haven't given up. I didn't really begin to start knowing myself until I was in my thirties. These feelings of worthlessness, we're not born with them; they're put there - often by parents who feel inadequate as human beings. How dare they! How dare anyone make you feel or tell you you are worth nothing! We are made to feel like that by a parent who doesn't tell you your worth too. Neglect is just as damaging. My father did the former to me and my mother did the latter - consequently I went on to have 3 amazing children who DO KNOW THEIR WORTH! Sounds like you could do with getting yourself a lovely counsellor you can share your thoughts and feelings with (if you're in the UK, contact MIND - they're awesome and it's over the phone and you can refer yourself). Get 'the ball rolling' and begin to shed what others have put there. It won't happen 'overnight', there's no quick fix, but in time the 'real you' will begin to come through - a bit like a caterpillar that sheds its cocoon and unfolds into a beautiful butterfly 🦋. If these people are still in your life, or anyone that makes you feel 'less than' - GET RID! They serve no positive purpose. Start writing to yourself, write down your feelings, what has made you feel like that and what you're going to do to change that. At 26 you're just starting out, I kind of felt like that at 51 when I realised I had Borderline Personality Disorder! Sometimes it feels like one 'uphill battle' so you have to take each day as it comes, be kind to yourself, even be the parent you wished you'd had. It's sad when that's the case, I've been sad, but you grieve for a while then pick yourself up and move-on. Acknowledging your feelings is SO important; exploring the reasons behind them comes next, then LET GO! Free yourself! You can't change what has or hasn't happened but you don't have to carry the damage around with you all your life. Just remember though; feelings aren't facts! So just because you feel worthless it doesn't mean you are. You're young, go out and have fun once in a while, enjoy yourself, live life! I recently went on 'SWARM' at Thorpe Park (UK) check it out on utube! Really frightening but great fun! Do stuff that makes you feel alive; life is for living! xxx
@AlexisTwoLastNames
@AlexisTwoLastNames Ай бұрын
@@arabellacox i have a therapist. thanks for the message. i understand your sentiment, i just can’t feel it right now.
@arabellacox
@arabellacox Ай бұрын
@@AlexisTwoLastNames medication?
@jillpruett3444
@jillpruett3444 Ай бұрын
I wish you'd do a video on overcoming Agoraphobia. I'm really getting stuck with mine and battling leaving home again. I'm not working at its hurting my marriage financially. 😢😢
@jboughtin7522
@jboughtin7522 Ай бұрын
I was never good a singing either. But at some point I was inspired to learn how to. I made sure I was in private places and started working at it regularly. I was really bad for about 2-3 years literally. But I did develop my voice and singing ability and I now actually enjoy singing and have no fear or anxiety about it.
@blywt4
@blywt4 Ай бұрын
What if it's something we can't change? Like your ears, but it's important to us!
@stormythelowcountrykitty7147
@stormythelowcountrykitty7147 Ай бұрын
Thank you
@rachaelp8998
@rachaelp8998 Ай бұрын
Loved this
@BubblGrl
@BubblGrl Ай бұрын
What if your insecurity is based on your physical or aesthetic appearance and not something you can (reasonably) control or improve?
@Evey108
@Evey108 22 күн бұрын
Iam curious how a typical grandiose NPD person would react to this video? Any theories, Dr Eilers? Im genuinely curious what is going on in their head when they are confronted this way... Meaning, being talked at by someone who assumes they have an insecurity while they themselves are in absolute denial? or are they? Would love your input, thanks :) Also PS really bravo for just being open and confident in sharing these vulnerable moments from your life, that is probably the best demonstration of how much you've grown in your confidence - being able to tell these stories from the past that used to be "embarassing". Honestly its not even embarassing! We are just so hard on ourselves and the society is a monstermonsmaking us.... Im a woman so I will never fully understand the struggles of men but I think I do to some extent get that pressure from the brotherhood you all encounter. I appreciate your vulnerability, men dont realize THAT is part of real manhood. Super proud of you for modeling that!! I hope more men make it to your channel!
@salimr4718
@salimr4718 13 күн бұрын
What about insecurities about your physique, which you cannot change?
@nonyabidness5708
@nonyabidness5708 Ай бұрын
I know it doesn't matter now since you're secure about them... but for we others who aren't, just know that there are people who like "sticky outy ears'. I'm one of them! My first love had them and I find them adorbs. Also, LOVE the mucro goal recommendation. I've heard it before from J.B. Peterson about doing tasks but never thought to apply it to learning.
@Josgreg1102
@Josgreg1102 Ай бұрын
Disassociate Identity Disorder and schizophrenia are mental prisons at time. It takes a lot energy to stay present and happy
@faithwalker5196
@faithwalker5196 Ай бұрын
Good vid, bro.
@einumherirrenderwanderer
@einumherirrenderwanderer Ай бұрын
I think, sometimes one has just to accept that one is not particularly good at sth.. I never was good at sports and I can't do things like backflips or juggling balls. My dexterity is just not that good. What I could and can do is getting slimmer or grow more muscel. So maybe sometimes one can focus on sth. vaguely in that area, when he or she is not that good in that one particular thing. That doesnt mean I actively avoid sports, but I only have so much energy and prefer to focus on things, in which I progress faster. I have been told a lot this "You can do everything, you just have to try hard enough"-stuff as a child. Its well-intentioned, but sometimes just not true. In general I often wonder, when one has tried enough and should maybe just call it a day. Like, how can you tell? I don't know btw if the thing with the ears was just an example, but they look completely normal to me. I would say, you are a rather good looking guy, but I of course also know this perfectionism-problem.
@junegagnon6506
@junegagnon6506 Ай бұрын
I have a very hard time with wanting to be up for the day. I know its depression, but i haven't been able to tolerate medication for it. So if you would be willing to do a video about how to want to get up and be up during the day to live life and strategies to use without medication that would be so lovely Dr. Scott? I feel like i am at the end of my rope ad to what to do. I want to switch my nights to days and start living. I am hoping that thats possible...thankyou again🌸🌈
@sweetest247
@sweetest247 Ай бұрын
I'm having the same. My meds are not designed for mental health & I shy away from an antidepressant even though after many deaths year after year very close to me for about 3 yrs I requested one. Well I never started. It expired. I know crazy isn't it? I thought I need time to work thru this by first sleep exercise & diet. I still feel that. I'm disciplined on monitoring my own self plan of good health such as meds & vitiams taking trash out getting food yet I make endless plans notes daily monthly goals that never ever come to fruition. My expired antidepressant still stares at me & I will be discussing it with my primary. I was just afraid of it on some level. I kept thinking yea but you can stop it if it doesn't help. It so sucks that most do not understand the sleep issue even the so called gurus because they never talk about real truth at being awake all night til sun rise only to sleep in the day & sometimes that just doesn't work as things such as med appts bank etc need to be in traditional hours. At least I use to be productive at night but now I stare at the phone...poison. How old were you when you started doing this? Was it a job that switched things? Thank you for sharing if you are ok with that. 😊
@arabellacox
@arabellacox Ай бұрын
@sweetest247 can I ask what antidepressant you've been prescribed? I have Bipolar and Lithium has kept me well and continues to do so, no; it's kept me alive! There's no shame in taking a medicine for the brain. Sometimes diet and exercise aren't enough. I've had serious depression and it's a living hell. Antidepressants helped me. They're not the 'be all and end all' but sometimes your brain chemistry needs a helping hand. If you had diabetes you'd take insulin, 'no questions asked' antidepressants are no different - I don't know why there's this obsession to be med-free? If it helps, take it! I take Venlafaxine for anxiety disorder and have no desire to stop taking it; 'if its not broken, don't fix it!' It suits my brain; that and the lithium keep me 'above water'. I never want to get that low again, it was more frightening than psychosis (mania)! Routine is something that helps too. If you want to switch from night to day you will have to force yourself to stay up during the day (to begin with) and sleep/ rest at night. I find gardening and decorating very mindful (not thinking about shit). There are lots of creative things you can do that will occupy your mind. Be kind to yourself, above all. Eliminate pressure and do things that bring about satisfaction; small steps to begin with. Set yourself a task, it can be ridiculously small, but do it! It takes time getting well, but don't give yourself an even harder time by trying to go 'med-free' when taking a pill or two a day, could make all the difference. When your serotonin levels are low, they take all your motivation away. Let us know how you get on. Antidepressants take around 3/4 weeks to kick in.
@junegagnon6506
@junegagnon6506 Ай бұрын
​@@sweetest247 Hello, sorry for getting back so late to you now! It's been a slow emotional day. Life is complicated for me. But to answer your question this inability of mine to cope in life started quite young in my life. I didn't have a good birth story with getting 0 good stuff from my My Mom so I think alot of my problems are related to a bad gut. They say the serotonin we get for our brain comes from our gut. And then I had an alcoholic parent which didn't help. I developed a lot of fear due to the uncertainty at home. Then later I was diagnosed with OCD and germ phobia. Then my sleep cycle starting going off the rails when I started to go through menopause and later the OCD got worse and I ended up being in the washroom all night washing my hands. So then the sleep thing just got to the point now where I am up til 5:30 in the morning and go to bed then and get up around 1 pm in the afternoon . It's wrecking my immune system and causing more depression. I have taken antidepressants but now I either fall down and break bones or they cause me to have bladder issues when I take them. I took ciprilex which caused insomnia as well. I have taken most of the SSRIs plus clonazepam and lorazapam as well. I wish I knew what to do. How to fix or manage all of this. I so want to be up for the day. The interesting part is I haven't functioned or coped well since I quit smoking in my 20"s. Smoking seemed to help me deal with life. I can't go back to smoking nor do I want to do that. I just wish I could find something similar non hurtful way like the cigarettes to use to help with the coping and living part. Right now I am drinking espresso 1 cup to keep somewhat going. It's not perfect for course. Sorry for this long explanation...I wish I knew your real name... anyways I am glad you reached out to inquire about my journey!😊 It helps to know we are not alone in our struggles. Dr. Scott is fantastic. That's what he says that we have lots in common. He is helping me not to give up. I just feel so tired of this and fighting to keep going. I imagine you must feel the same way. ...
@sweetest247
@sweetest247 Ай бұрын
@@junegagnon6506 June how old are you now? Were you ever married? Have children? I ask because all these life events can as you know impact as well. That is why we look at other factors. Yes the cigs do provide a quick sense of relief however you left that behind & only your thoughts say go back but physically you definitely made the right choice. Congrats! Where do you reside in the US if you are from here? Were you ever able to hold down a job? Any volunteer work? Do you have a denomination? Since medical & meds are an extra added financial burden are you able to receive assistance? I'm sorry. Life is so damn hard as we weave in & out. Our brains minds are much stronger than we often realize. I hope you don't mind the questions. 😊
@junegagnon6506
@junegagnon6506 Ай бұрын
​@@sweetest247 Hello again! You are right many things do play a role and impact outcomes of functioning in our lives. I don't really feel too comfortable with sharing too many personal things about myself. I do have a faith though. Even though I find it hard to live life I know that from my reading and studying of the Bible that I have hope of a better life and future in a new world that God has promised to bring right here to this lovely planet. He is going to remove and replace earthly governments with his Kingdom rulership. So no more suffering , problem health and even doing away with death. He also promises we can build a house and get to live in it without worrying that someone will take it away from us. And since God does not lie all of us can rely truly on him since he is perfect. So what about you do you have a faith? Where do you go other than Dr.Scott for answers to big questions or concerns?
@joannedo1896
@joannedo1896 Ай бұрын
How can your suggestion work if you are insecure about something you can’t change, like your ears (I don’t think your ears are big, btw)
@gravelor78
@gravelor78 6 күн бұрын
I'm insecure about something I can't change and it's killing me inside
@ed-vi6gx
@ed-vi6gx Ай бұрын
But it only works with things you can change....
@jazzsoul1695
@jazzsoul1695 Ай бұрын
This is very good, his explanation! I'm feeling down about the landlady. She's harassing me.
@sanelpierre3686
@sanelpierre3686 Ай бұрын
Made up-fu 😂 I appreciated that one, it was not lost on me Dr
@digitalcassette5
@digitalcassette5 Ай бұрын
I relate to so many of your videos. Out of curiousiry, do u have bpd ?
@junegagnon6506
@junegagnon6506 Ай бұрын
It is very hard when you can't seem to communicate with others. Thats due to a Learning disability and possibly the difficulty of having Asperger's. I am very aware that i am not good at doing the talk and other things everyone else seems to know how to do . Its depressing and frustrating of course and it has led me to avoid people and situations like family gatherings, etc. So how do you learn this insecurity away when you have these deficiencies with how your brain works. I would love to be able to not be afraid of situations where i have to talk and converse with other people. And then it gets harder when you have nothing going on in your life to talk about...what do you do? I have basically given up ....
@barbarabrown9269
@barbarabrown9269 Ай бұрын
PLEASE use sub-titles!!! We really need it for those who cannot hear you well! Thank you!
@Malekfahad420
@Malekfahad420 Ай бұрын
Hey Dr. Scott, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
@flamingoman6812
@flamingoman6812 Ай бұрын
Okay but how does that work if I am insecure about my ears? Do I go to plastic surgery? There are things you can’t change. Or am I wrong?
@AlexanderBC42
@AlexanderBC42 Күн бұрын
He told us to 'git gud' chat D:
@gothboschincarnate3931
@gothboschincarnate3931 Ай бұрын
Karra says I need to do some re-invention of my self....when i move back home.
@elara2498
@elara2498 Ай бұрын
I request a video on mental disease where a person dose not react well to pressure situations
@junegagnon6506
@junegagnon6506 Ай бұрын
Yes, I would like that too. I just get overwhelmed when there is pressure put upon me. Then I get these mini breakdowns. I attribute it to the Asperger's.
@williamchevalier2224
@williamchevalier2224 Ай бұрын
This one hit me where I live
@williamchevalier2224
@williamchevalier2224 Ай бұрын
Love your videos
@MistressMira
@MistressMira 3 күн бұрын
What if you were insecure about your ears? How does that translate to some skill you can improve on? Besides trying to lie to yourself that you don't care.
@selfesteem3447
@selfesteem3447 Ай бұрын
I learned about Korean culture, see ears that are big as being someone who is Highly Intelligent. They wish they had bigger ears. I didn't even notice your ears until you mentioned it😏
@troyX
@troyX Ай бұрын
I think your ears look fine for what it's worth 👍
@Estarya
@Estarya Ай бұрын
Oh Yeah, I totally am in an abusive relationship, with myself... I'll keep watching before I say anything stupid EDIT: Yeah So. That's an interesting video and I do relate to your story as well. Due to mental health issues I also had a lot of topic and categories of things and actions that I was woefully incompetent at and have gradually grown better at. Thing is I have had a bad memory for a while (might be due to stress really but hear me out...) and lately most things I try to learn I forget or can't focus on enough to really learn. It's been stressing me even more and I've been extremely insecure about almost Everything for the past couple of months. I wish I could come out of that to actually take a step forward and learn the things I need to, but everytime I try I end up dissociating a bit and losing the little amount of knowledge I'm trying to absorb. And I'm not going to just write words for tools, places, objects and other bobbles that I wish I knew in a notebook for hours everyday and hope to remember them when I need them in the hopes to overcome this situation. Honestly I feel kinda desperate right now. like there's nothing I can do to help myself? But I also know, I'm currently mentally exhausted by stress and I could totally Try your solution even if I don't believe in myself right now and it could probably work? You probably already made a video that would be helpful for me in my current situation..?
@megaartchannel
@megaartchannel Ай бұрын
It’s me yes I’m the problems it’s me
@TheSaltLakers
@TheSaltLakers Ай бұрын
Tequila.
@bobc4d
@bobc4d Ай бұрын
overcompensating, like driving a 4x4 dually pickup with loud exhaust which won't see a speck of off road.
@DanTesta58
@DanTesta58 Ай бұрын
Nothing wrong with your ears, Bro'.
@aliyaaliya3866
@aliyaaliya3866 Ай бұрын
how can i protect myself from alexandrova elena?
@darkinside5209
@darkinside5209 Ай бұрын
I don't know how to start relationship until my 31😶‍🌫️
@shansurt
@shansurt Ай бұрын
Man you've got some big ears...
@andrewjaramillo
@andrewjaramillo Ай бұрын
Damn Dr. Scott, I wish you wouldn't have mentioned your ears. Now I keep staring at your ears 😬
@cuteonlinewaifu
@cuteonlinewaifu Ай бұрын
lmao you're hilarious
@firststepshardest1656
@firststepshardest1656 Ай бұрын
Maybe it's because i watch you on my tiny phone screen, but i dont think your ears look big. Ive never noticed them before.
@christopherleah7253
@christopherleah7253 Ай бұрын
You don’t have big ears and you didn’t look like an alien , these people , just criticizing whatever
@safeinyourroom
@safeinyourroom Ай бұрын
Guys a little too good looking actually 😂 i can get distracted and pacified by it and that's not healthy or effective. Love this channel though
@Ikr2025
@Ikr2025 Ай бұрын
Your ears aren’t big btw. :-)
@attheranch873
@attheranch873 Ай бұрын
I never even noticed your ears. I seen big ears before, and yours are not 🙂
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