How to stop the cycle of negative thinking

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Dr. Scott Eilers

Dr. Scott Eilers

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 450
@kaytooreal
@kaytooreal 8 ай бұрын
I really appreciate your channel❤can’t afford therapy right now & your videos are honestly better than going to therapy
@CyndieAmala
@CyndieAmala 8 ай бұрын
He is great! Better than any therapist I've been to.
@kaytooreal
@kaytooreal 8 ай бұрын
@@CyndieAmala I agree!!
@FG-ie7cu
@FG-ie7cu 8 ай бұрын
Totally agree. I am in deep mourning right now, and multiple people have suggested counseling, and I'm like, "Ah....NO. Been there, done that. NO." Dr. Scott is a completely different category.
@jacquelinekabugo-raderson1878
@jacquelinekabugo-raderson1878 8 ай бұрын
Agree! 👍🏾
@paulstockton7121
@paulstockton7121 8 ай бұрын
My 2 Cents. I think therapists want us to come to the correct conclusions on our own as they are more impactful and longer lasting. However, if you're like me and don't have a good grasp on my own feelings and motivations it's better for someone to explain things and I can see if it fits me or I applicable to me.
@clarencehammer3556
@clarencehammer3556 8 ай бұрын
I live alone and am retired and am very inactive. So I have a lot of rumination going on. I am very isolated and don’t go out except rarely to take care of essential business. I needed to hear this message.
@Julesyoutoo
@Julesyoutoo 8 ай бұрын
I really feel for you, Clarence. Sending you my warmest wishes. 🥲
@sweetest247
@sweetest247 8 ай бұрын
Yes! I do the exact same thing & I should know better because of my past professions. Some real BS I'm going thru & I'm stuck! Depression fatigue some physical pain... Not a lot. Sedentary life! 4 years. If I do minimal w success like use restroom & going to bank & medical some stores if lucky...then wonder why daily I plan list note still nothing so I lay in bed & lazer focus on my PHONE!!!!! POISON! 😈 Have I lost all my discipline? I mean I'm sooo tired & I do not want to come to life again by way of some crisis. Jesus & Mary help please 🙏 thanks doc Scott I'm awake til sun rises then about 16th hour of being awake I sleep but lucky to get 4 to 6... 6 is miracle for me. 😢help Dr Scott
@klanderkal
@klanderkal 7 ай бұрын
I totally feel that pain. Ruminating, of my job, my friends and coworkers, it really was my life, everything else was so much fun too. Now, nothing is fun anymore. I don't do anything. I still cannot sleep... I call crisis lines alot. Depression is so unbearable. I didn't know, this could ever happen to me. Sorry for us... wish we could be happy somehow. 🙏🫶
@klanderkal
@klanderkal 7 ай бұрын
@@sweetest247 Same here. I'm struggling so hard with this. I don't sleep for many day's straight. I don't like how Mt life is anymore. Depression is so unbearable. I ruminate on my mistake. I just want my job back, the life I had back. I miss all my coworkers and friends. My purpose and identity. ..... im never happy anymore. No motivation, interest to do anything.. Hope we can somehow get better?
@mightymouse1005
@mightymouse1005 7 ай бұрын
That's exactly where I am. I work 13 hours a week still but, I live very rural, no neighbors or anyone around. I watch to much KZbin and waste time
@1chumley1
@1chumley1 8 ай бұрын
I have to do 30 min of HARD cardio a day. It's pretty hard for a thought loop to remain through it. It's unpleasant, but it gets you out of your head.
@bemanos12345
@bemanos12345 8 ай бұрын
But what happens after the 30 mins are over?
@penelopehunter7506
@penelopehunter7506 8 ай бұрын
Same here. The earlier the better. Cortisol Awakening Response is real. Best to burn that off earlier in the day
@1chumley1
@1chumley1 8 ай бұрын
​@@bemanos12345I usually get a pretty good shot of dopamine from working out and just getting done with it elevates my mood. I usually have a little different perspective afterwards.
@katk1958
@katk1958 8 ай бұрын
And now, how to do this and immediately fall asleep at bedtime, before the ruminating thoughts begin. Granted, I've recently discovered exactly what the doctor is talking about and it's truly amazing how well it works. But, we have to slow down at bedtime enough to fall asleep, and then the ruminating begins. 😔
@1chumley1
@1chumley1 8 ай бұрын
​@@katk1958I work out in the evenings. My body tends to level out. The benefit is still there by the time I go to bed.
@tiffanylam5026
@tiffanylam5026 8 ай бұрын
Not doing anything is the worst, but I don’t have the energy/motivation to do anything….
@StoicNature444
@StoicNature444 8 ай бұрын
A good neurotrophic could help that.
@artlego1007
@artlego1007 8 ай бұрын
Wow! That is me as well!
@scareybailey
@scareybailey 8 ай бұрын
Your brain will still be whirling anyway. Best put it to work on some useful activities.
@tiffanylam5026
@tiffanylam5026 8 ай бұрын
@@StoicNature444 it’s more like I don’t have hobbies, my brain doesn’t seem to find anything particularly interesting. I won’t consider myself anhedonic though, I still enjoy the time spent with my partner. Just not for myself or any activities whatsoever. I feel like on the stimulation scale 1-10 like Dr Scott said, lower activities meaning more motivation and willpower needed, everything is like 2-3s for me but I don’t ever know what my 10 is. It’s probably like doing nothing? Not that I enjoy doing nothing, it’s terrible. I deleted all social media just in case but it didn’t help. Didn’t like video games or TV that much either. The biggest distraction for me is going to work, even though I hate it and there is no satisfaction at all. But holiday alone, all day long doing nothing, dreads me even more.
@StoicNature444
@StoicNature444 8 ай бұрын
Have you looked into Microdosing Shrooms? I find they really help me stay present and I'm more able to jump into things without hesitation.
@goingcrazee
@goingcrazee 8 ай бұрын
This explains why a carefully-done housework task helps me when I'm trying to get something out of my head.
@steveos5112
@steveos5112 8 ай бұрын
You are saving my life. I lost my job of 25 years ago month ago. I am ruminating like crazy about my job loss. Lots of anxiety. Thank you for your help.
@Lesnicole29
@Lesnicole29 8 ай бұрын
Can you share what you are doing to help yourself?
@licksnkicks1166
@licksnkicks1166 7 ай бұрын
Yes pls. I lost my job after 14 years. The only thing I will miss is my benefits. The place was beyond toxic and made me physically ill!
@steveos5112
@steveos5112 7 ай бұрын
@@Lesnicole29 I turned to God and asked to released from my anxiety and grief. I also found a job all due to God as well. I’m not a nut case. I simply turned to God and he answered my prays.
@SparklesPancake
@SparklesPancake 8 ай бұрын
Damn. I’m floored. I’m almost speechless. Therapy for 30+ yrs. Countless books. Countless videos. This is something I have NEVER been able to budge. Not one single inch. So much healing but this is something that still rules me. Rules my days. I purposely try to remove stimulation to “relax” just like so many others and I feel guilty when I insert stimulation bc we’ve been told it means we are addicted to the stimulation in one way or another. I can’t tell you how this releases me from that feeling of shame that I *need* something to make my mind stop ruminating. The shame that I need it bc I can’t make it stop any other way. “Why can’t you just sit down?” “Why do you have to have some noise playing all the time?” “Can’t you just sit there and relax?” Right now it changes. Starting 5 minutes ago. Thank you
@Heyu7her3
@Heyu7her3 8 ай бұрын
Well there's a difference between *distraction & avoidance* ... If you're doing it too much/ maladaptively/ to avoid doing action steps, then it's avoidance. The problem will have to be addressed somehow.
@SparklesPancake
@SparklesPancake 8 ай бұрын
@@Heyu7her3In my case it’s not avoidance. It’s good, old fashioned can’t stop repeating it in my head. This approach is perfect for people like me who have already dealt with it but who now need to move past it and on to the next thing.
@lynnebailey6528
@lynnebailey6528 8 ай бұрын
Fantastic so happy for you!!! I got it too...its like 🎉 yay!!!!!!
@chrismullin8304
@chrismullin8304 8 ай бұрын
You are Awesome!
@Mopantsu
@Mopantsu 2 ай бұрын
I read this decades ago in a book on depression. One of the things advised was to put a paint brush in a depressed persons hands and get them painting the house.
@stevec404
@stevec404 8 ай бұрын
Paused with the "3 year old" analogy. There certainly is no way to take away the energy of a 3 year old...but you can absolutely crush the energy of a 7 year old! That was the root cause of my lifelong dysfunctions and negative mindset. What a torturous journey it has been. The numb phase of just trying to hide from life finally ended with an insight into its root cause. Then the sorrow, and the rumination began. That tsunami of emotions took a decade to subside. My healing through reprogramming continues. Triggers of the past and fear of the future still crop up from time to time...and I now have the skills to acknowledge them; and let them go. Never bury an emotion or a triggered thought - it will haunt you forever. I got busy this morning, right after some rumination kicked in. It was a non-actionable one, so I chose to get busy with ongoing remodeling I am doing at home. It worked. When I broke for breakfast...the rumination returned and tried to break me.. I have other skills to deal with it. Breakfast is over; and I am getting right back to work - my personal proof that your video explanations are correct.
@jeraldbaxter3532
@jeraldbaxter3532 8 ай бұрын
Thank you. Your sharing this has helped reinforce the message of the video.😊
@rainbeau9752
@rainbeau9752 8 ай бұрын
oh great, that’s so good that you have the skills, that makes me feel so much better. i don’t. Thanks for rubbing it in.
@Thoughtworld1984
@Thoughtworld1984 8 ай бұрын
Gosh, thank you for this post. Maybe there is hope...
@pamelabarone5868
@pamelabarone5868 8 ай бұрын
I went through this for longer than I have hoped after alot of trauma. I was in a freeze. It was horrible
@Lesnicole29
@Lesnicole29 8 ай бұрын
What did you do to get through it?
@pamelabarone5868
@pamelabarone5868 8 ай бұрын
@@Lesnicole29 it took a while. It was caused by all outside factors one trauma one illness one death after another in the past 4 years. I was taking care of my whole family then I got sick. I stopped watching any negative social medial and television that is really important. Because it really can contribute. It got so bad for me it was all circumstances surrounding me. I was so frozen. I was trying everthing therapy with therapist and online. Be mindful of what you are putting in your body. I was drinking a pack of 4 little wine bottles atleast every other day because the anxiety got so bad the walls were closing in due to every thing around me with this covid. That was a terrible idea. I have adhd and when I moved from texas pa would not take my records giving me a terrible time to get medicated. They wanted to give me all types of stuff I said no. Thats all I need is being medicated and drugged I am the only able body person ex husband ill his parents have dementia and its a whole other story why I ended up here after start of covid that played a major part in this having to quit a job I loved put my dog to sleep. Anyway I learned a valuable lesson. Put yourself first, you cant help anyone else if you are falling apart. Set boundries with people that are causing grief. When you cant do something say no. Distance yourself from negative people. Get outside even if its sitting in a chair in your yard until you can exercize depends on how bad the freeze is. These are just a few. Pray. 🙏
@pamelabarone5868
@pamelabarone5868 8 ай бұрын
@@Lesnicole29 most importantly, please be kind to yourself. Try not to stay in this mindset its easier said than done. It can cause bad physical health. So many things are targeting our health now a days. We have to keep going. Its not right the things we have been put through no fault of our own the world is a strange place. The costs to my health are tremendous. I was always in good health up until the ohio train derailment I am 50 miles from the accident site. I dont like living here but my family is old sick and wont leave /so its hard. I am not v everyone else in my family is and are very ill. It angers me. After the ohio train derailment I got really sick. Something terrible with ears and throat. I was diag a year to the date of the train chemical burn off with something bad. Inhalation wise. I chose alternative treatment. I was a nurse and I havent really practiced in a while because I hated it. Patients are not treated right they are a number its evil. Please do what you can try to do. I got so tired of the groundhog day freeze I knew if I didnt change something, I was going to die and I want to live. 🙏
@zahrahussain8004
@zahrahussain8004 7 ай бұрын
​@@pamelabarone5868which alternative treatment did you try? Are you working now? Much love ❤
@saintejeannedarc9460
@saintejeannedarc9460 7 ай бұрын
@@pamelabarone5868 I can understand something very traumatic you went through being a big trigger. If an accident site is 50 miles away though, that's a far distance. You don't ever have to see it, and it's probably pretty rare you need to drive that far to go past it. I wish I had that luxury. My big trauma was being cheated on, and the much younger girl my ex cheated w/ moved across the street from, just a few doors down, in order to make sure he came back to her. He did and is still w/ her. I too wish I could get away, but own the house I'm in and the depth of depression and the housing market made it so I couldn't get out. She's not moving, and I do my best to cope w/ it. My biggest trigger is seeing black trucks. That's what he drives and even though it's been over year, those darn trucks are a constant trigger that I don't know how to get past, because sometimes it's him, w/ her beside him.
@julieberns1474
@julieberns1474 8 ай бұрын
Scott- you literally have changed my life. I always would force myself to chill out and it NEVER worked. Mind blowing- AHHHH HA moment
@lynnebailey6528
@lynnebailey6528 8 ай бұрын
Totally!!
@Karlien68
@Karlien68 8 ай бұрын
4 years of terrible rumination about a horrible discard and betrayal. Exhausted of the recycling and the deep and sharp pain that goes with it. It almost feels like ptsd. Going to try these tips because I am hanging on by tooth and nail...
@ashleyen3
@ashleyen3 8 ай бұрын
I'll pray for you. I beleive we are all capable of healing. Just takes longer than we'd like sometimes😅!
@skippy7208
@skippy7208 8 ай бұрын
You might find Andrew Huberman’s video about therapeutic writing helpful. He explains a simple process which really works to clear the mind of rumination - once and for all 👍
@BestOffer-ii9ny
@BestOffer-ii9ny 8 ай бұрын
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
@sweetest247
@sweetest247 8 ай бұрын
​@@BestOffer-ii9ny Wow What did you use?!
@sweetest247
@sweetest247 8 ай бұрын
I feel you
@musestudio7075
@musestudio7075 8 ай бұрын
Scott, your videos are literally life-savers for me during an intensely difficult time of nonstop stress, change and much despair. Thanks for all the work, heart and sincerity you put into each and everyone of them. 🙏💜
@FG-ie7cu
@FG-ie7cu 8 ай бұрын
He's changing me and I haven't even done anything he said yet, but am just thinking about it all. But my daily habits have already started changing by themselves.
@stevec404
@stevec404 8 ай бұрын
Same here.
@ssingh2985
@ssingh2985 8 ай бұрын
Same ❤. All the best on your journeys friends.
@FG-ie7cu
@FG-ie7cu 8 ай бұрын
@@ssingh2985 And to you, thank you.
@noreallyihearyou837
@noreallyihearyou837 8 ай бұрын
My go to is often walks and exercise. But when I’m feeling like something with a low physical exertion quotient, I really like the type of concentration that an adult paint by numbers set offers. Cheap on Amazon and really satisfying.
@lauraparker396
@lauraparker396 8 ай бұрын
Me too! Amazing how absorbing they can be
@AnglBunny
@AnglBunny 5 ай бұрын
I had to do these during my worst depressive episode
@blurrylights6344
@blurrylights6344 8 ай бұрын
Lucky for me, one of your videos popped up in my recommendations 2 days ago and have watched about 5 of them since! You come across as down to earth and authentic, some pretty good qualities! The advice is original, to me anyway and actionable (to steal a term from you). I started the celebration thing when I'm not doing what I need to do. And believe you me, I was celebrating the whole time I was cleaning my kitchen! It was very effective! Why didn't that ever occur to me? I don't care since I know it now! Edit: Oh, right...my frontal lobes aren't working so well when I'm in freeze. Got it! Thanks!
@JohnNathanShopper
@JohnNathanShopper 8 ай бұрын
I get it! You’re saying keep busy to stave off anxiety. This is so spot on!
@Yolduranduran
@Yolduranduran 7 ай бұрын
SOMETIMES I DONT WANT TO WATCH THESE VIDEOS BECAUSE I WILL LIKELY HAVE TO FACE SOMETHING DIFFICULT. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE DIFFICULT ONES. GLAD I DID HEAR IT AS IT CAUSED ME TO TAKE ACTION. THANK YOU. 😊
@A-md3uz
@A-md3uz 7 ай бұрын
I'm crying while I'm watching to this video. I have something that I'm ashamed of and it has been 4 months and I can't get it out of my mind. It starts right when I wake up until I'm exhausted by the end of the day. Thank you so much
@boomeradvocate
@boomeradvocate 7 ай бұрын
Very helpful advice! The ruminating tends to hit me at 4 a.m. nearly every night, when I wake up to go pee 😑.
@aijazsiddique8713
@aijazsiddique8713 5 ай бұрын
Same. Every morning I wake up, I am ruminate about the past, about missed opportunities, and about the mistakes I made. Has been years but still have not figured out how to get rid of that.
@escowle55
@escowle55 3 ай бұрын
@@aijazsiddique8713omg me too
@ClandestineGirl16X
@ClandestineGirl16X 8 ай бұрын
Thank you, Dr. Scott. I can't afford therapy right now, and your videos are helpful. Thank you from NYC
@D.A.E.504
@D.A.E.504 8 ай бұрын
Yes thank you so much I can't stop my brain from thinking at night
@CyndieAmala
@CyndieAmala 8 ай бұрын
This is definitely an issue for me. Negative thoughts get stuck in a loop in my brain. So much so it's hard to even recall good memories. But I did find myself reminiscing about fun times recently that I hadn't thought about in years! I don't mind if those thoughts ruminate lol
@FG-ie7cu
@FG-ie7cu 8 ай бұрын
Yes, agree. "Hard to even recall good memories." But as I was falling asleep last night, with my frownie face, I suddenly remembered him saying, in his 2024 goals, to remember a victory from the day, and I thought of a silly one and laughed.
@CyndieAmala
@CyndieAmala 8 ай бұрын
@@FG-ie7cu that's great that you were able to do that 😊 I'm sure it felt good!
@carolyn-wu6xr
@carolyn-wu6xr 8 ай бұрын
Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance-key!!
@Just.Another.Number
@Just.Another.Number 7 ай бұрын
How true! The single act of accepting what is/was would do away with the majority of negative thoughts.
@ryans413
@ryans413 6 ай бұрын
Yes people can’t do this they get so mad and annoyed and have to one up the person that made them mad. This is why road rage is a thing. These people just have to accept it and let it go move on. So someone cut you off get mad in the moment but just let it go. I met so many negative people and I always ask why are still negative about something that happened months ago like move on.
@PaulElmont-fd1xc
@PaulElmont-fd1xc 8 ай бұрын
2:55 Thank you so much for saying that. One of the reasons I stopped going to therapy is because of being told to "just stop doing that. That's silly. Don't think that way. Just get over it." When I said that I can't stop thinking that way, I was always told, "Yes you can. You just won't. You don't try." Nice to finally here a professional acknowledge what I knew all along.
@perfectionista492
@perfectionista492 5 ай бұрын
I've received that dismissive form of therapy myself. Extremely toxic.
@karid.8979
@karid.8979 4 ай бұрын
I love this video, Dr. Scott! I needed this. I have diagnosed major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and recent diagnosis of c-ptsd, and rumination has been crippling me lately. My therapist is great, but I love seeing your videos too. You are great!
@greg9069
@greg9069 7 ай бұрын
I feel like my brain is submerged in a thick coating of self doubt, self hate, and anxiety. It’s yo the point where I physically feel sick and can’t process interactions or communication in real time. That I don’t even want to speak because whatever I’m going to say is the wrong thing, my conversations typically just discuss what the other person was talking about and they can tell his stuff and tense I feel so they leave asap. I just feel like I’m inferior to everyone when it comes to socializing, so I avoid it.
@emiliodiaz3927
@emiliodiaz3927 4 ай бұрын
You're not alone is tough
@lanelson6875
@lanelson6875 4 ай бұрын
Sadly, I can identify. Just learning about c-PTSD-- reading about it was a revelation. Some informative and very helpful videos on YT etc. You might want to check it out.
@edwardulikowski5306
@edwardulikowski5306 8 ай бұрын
Dr. Scott, I just want to tell you that I have struggled my whole life with Anxiety/Depression and have had periods in my life where I have gone to Therapy and while I did get something out of them I actually understand things so much better with your explanations, so, Please keep doing your Video’s because they are very much needed. Thank you, Cindy in Ohio will keep watching😊
@jairschirmer9867
@jairschirmer9867 8 ай бұрын
makes sense. But this goes against everything I did in my life (40 and depressed). Maybe I was rebelling against my father, he plays cards with friends every day, watch games to pass time, never really stay alone in his mind. I thought the inverse would be ideal, following budhism, be present, etc. living too much in my own world in my mind, solo games, tv. Now you really made me think... I'll try to do it, be more active, find a hobby
@littlesometin
@littlesometin 8 ай бұрын
Same, I feel like this Western version of pop buddhism can really have a counter effect on mental health.
@AlfredBrown-rk8se
@AlfredBrown-rk8se 8 ай бұрын
I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years. With so much anxiety Not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatmentPsilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms
@popescumanuela928
@popescumanuela928 7 ай бұрын
From where did you buy it?
@Cocoanutty0
@Cocoanutty0 8 ай бұрын
My therapist interrogated me when I said I was spending this time off of grad school resting. He asked what that meant, and why. I don’t see him anymore, mostly due to financial reasons, but this line of questioning really bothered me. I wish therapists would say what they actually know, like you share these things with us on your channel. Instead of feeling like I’m lazy or doing something wrong, I can now understand why resting might have been worse for my mental health despite it being commonly recommended. It’s not my fault, I made the best decision with the i formation I had. I’m so grateful for your channel for helping me learn new information so I can make better choices.
@amariev226
@amariev226 8 ай бұрын
Yes this is exactly what I do. The worst though, is when the rumination happens when I try to go to sleep. You are REALLY good at these explanations and motivating me to make behavioral changes.
@Heyu7her3
@Heyu7her3 8 ай бұрын
Melatonin helps with insomnia... no matter what you're stuck thinking about, the chemical will induce your body to fall asleep.
@milwaukeebuds
@milwaukeebuds 7 ай бұрын
I think this explains why depression gets worse on weekends for me when in a depressive episode.
@adiastar9815
@adiastar9815 6 ай бұрын
7:37 omg I do this! When my anxiety gets too bad I spend at least an hour at my sewing machine!
@SharonKBM
@SharonKBM 8 ай бұрын
Thank you. This is incredibly helpful. I often ruminate at night when I can't sleep and sometimes I simply can't stop. I keep telling myself to think of other things but it never works and I always wondered why. Your explanation makes a lot of sense and helps me understand things better.
@iowa_2
@iowa_2 8 ай бұрын
Thank you for making this content 😊 it’s so helpful. After months of navigating a difficult trauma, I found that filling out a day is helpful to keep my brain better occupied. It sometimes feels like a losing battle though, by doing nothing you’re exhausted, by trying to do things you’re exhausted. But it’s a different kind of tiredness when you’re doing stuff at least, one that feels more positive
@EB-gt1pq
@EB-gt1pq 5 ай бұрын
Thank you for some realistic advice! Everyone else just says don’t worry just relax. Impossible with my brain!
@lynnebailey6528
@lynnebailey6528 8 ай бұрын
Oh blimey!!! It's common sense isn't it...fill your mind with high stimulation activity....less room for negative thoughts!!! Thank you. How come when l hear it from you it's like a light bulb goes on in my head?
@nanopug
@nanopug 8 ай бұрын
Thats why I enjoy cooking, its a period of time I needs to focus and rarely ruminating
@homiekeen23
@homiekeen23 8 ай бұрын
I did this for a while, and it does work! . But how is this not avoiding/suppressing? My issue is I became fanatically scared of any possible free/rest time. If I'm outside and see my phone close to dying I seriously panic and start shaking and getting dizzy and flashbacks of all the negative thoughts I've been "avoiding/distracting" and fearing them getting to me when I have nothing on hand for a few minutes. AND YOU KNOW WELL that in just one minute you could already go through tens of crazy thoughts and ideas or even get to a "rock bottom" you've been avoiding/suppressing
@MiketheNerdRanger
@MiketheNerdRanger 8 ай бұрын
The only problem is when I try to occupy myself with something creative, perfectionism kicks in and then I'll ruminate on how I can't get anything done or push through frustration. I'm so tired of fighting myself all the time.
@brianhood8827
@brianhood8827 7 ай бұрын
Yep & perfectionism is a double edged sword
@MiketheNerdRanger
@MiketheNerdRanger 7 ай бұрын
@@brianhood8827 My point is that perfectionism, for me, is like a single-edged sword that I can't point away from me, nor can I escape it. I can't even do the things you're saying will help fix this problem of negative thinking because it only brings on more negative thoughts.
@probablypoetic8759
@probablypoetic8759 8 ай бұрын
Boy, how timely! I just had an episode of rumination in the middle of the night. I know a lot of experts say you should get up and go into another room and read or something, but I"'m afraid if I do that, I won't be able to back to sleep anyway, due to having to use lights to see. I did a countdown "meditation," but it didn't work and I eventually just laid there til I fell asleep again. I wonder what you recommend for this scenario. As for daytime rumination, I know in times of boredom, those thoughts can start creeping in, so I try to do some type of activity to avoid it. Thanks, Scott.🙂
@juliz2500
@juliz2500 8 ай бұрын
Tapping helps me when I wake up in the middle of the night. I can just lie there in the dark and after 3 rounds of tapping I'm usually calm enough to go back to sleep.
@Zar2244
@Zar2244 7 ай бұрын
​@@juliz2500great idea
@rockerdad2
@rockerdad2 6 күн бұрын
Your relaxed demeanor is awesome. This might one of your best videos yet. We needed to understand this! Thanks!
@abigailboyd2534
@abigailboyd2534 8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much. This is me, if something upsets me and it’s related to something important, I find I’m disoriented so much I need to rest flat. But a few minutes later I have an overwhelming need to jump up because my mind won’t calm down. PS while I was writing this you actually described what happened to me two days ago!! 😳🤗
@cs-yq5ed
@cs-yq5ed 8 ай бұрын
This makes so much sense. Thank you, Doctor!
@KD-kp3zc
@KD-kp3zc 8 ай бұрын
This is a great video, very helpful. All of this makes a lot of sense. I hate when people tell me to calm down or not worry.
@DrScottEilers
@DrScottEilers 8 ай бұрын
I just recorded a video on that 😃
@KD-kp3zc
@KD-kp3zc 8 ай бұрын
@@DrScottEilers Great, thank you so much! I can't wait to watch it!
@christopherwall444
@christopherwall444 8 ай бұрын
I've watched 3 of these video's from this gentleman and consider me subscribed...speaks simply and intelligently right on my mental health rn....actually helping
@fredphipps9452
@fredphipps9452 8 ай бұрын
Thanks for this guidance. I've spent far too much of my life doing nothing in response to negative past rumination
@Jelena_85
@Jelena_85 8 ай бұрын
I am so thankful I found you. I just finished my therapy appointment and then watched your video as part of my therapy process and it is helping tremendously. Thank you again! 🙏🏻
@niagratang667
@niagratang667 8 ай бұрын
Thank you for this timely instruction! I was getting lost in a very aggressive OCD spiral, and this helped me TONS!
@FG-ie7cu
@FG-ie7cu 8 ай бұрын
A lot to think about here. Some of us have spent years training to clear our lives, hearts, and minds in order to make room for the Divine. But I think a lot of people who have cleared this space are now struggling with "intrusive thoughts," and I suspect much of that comes from the internet. (It doesn't, for instance, usually come from being out in nature.) So to think of reversing the process, filling the mind back up in order to close out intrusive thoughts . . . is undoing a lot of work previously done. But some of us, perhaps, went seeking one channel and crossed over onto another by mistake and need to get rid of it. "Your mind is a cupboard and you stock the shelves" has always been a favorite quote, but sometimes there's a little imp in the pantry knocking cans off the shelf and making rude suggestions. So put in more boxes of Wheaties to crowd him out. (or learn to set mousetraps?) Thank you for this. : -)
@Thomas-jl3gn
@Thomas-jl3gn 8 ай бұрын
This helped more than I can express. Thank you.
@Greenteabreeze
@Greenteabreeze 8 ай бұрын
The sleep analogy is AWESOME!!! So true and wise!
@MARCIA.ZZZZZZ
@MARCIA.ZZZZZZ 8 ай бұрын
This was so helpful, thank you. I was blaming myself, now I dont have to. I just have to do something engaging.
@jenniferdiffenbaugh8329
@jenniferdiffenbaugh8329 8 ай бұрын
Ohmygosh.... . I understand what you are saying. That makes so much sense. Thankyou, I needed that!
@js_guyman
@js_guyman 7 ай бұрын
One of the best videos of the century. Honestly. I wish all content were of this intellectual caliber.
@ginikay435
@ginikay435 7 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this video. My instinct is always to do less and rest when I’m feeling low, which makes rumination worse. Engaging in activities that require a lot of mental energy would have never crossed my mind, it’s a novel concept to me that I’ve not heard recommended before. It makes a lot of sense and I’m going to give it a try!
@ErinLady85
@ErinLady85 8 ай бұрын
my issue is that it's really really hard for activities like reading or painting to take over the rumination...if I am in a state of rumination the thought will likely ruin the activity and make me quit to just slack off on watching KZbin which seems the only thing that gives me some break from negativity... also trying to get myself out of the situation (looking for a job) it's almost physically painful despite being high concentration... it feels almost like physical pain. sorry for the rant but maybe you could expand on how to manage negative thoughts when one's mind seems to refuse to focus on anything precisely because (or despite of) intense activities could be a good topic.
@FG-ie7cu
@FG-ie7cu 8 ай бұрын
I crash onto hours of youtube, tumblr, and ebay, too, and give thanks for them for pulling me through many tough times. Lately, though, I made up my own nickname for negative people and negative thoughts. I call them Negatino. When a bad thought intrudes, I say out loud, "Negatino! Go away!" Or when someone is rude to me, inside I think, "A Negatino! I cast you out of my life," and I do my best to pour peace on the situation and to never initiate contact with that person again. Who needs more Negatinos? We have a super-abundance of them already. I pitch them out and don't look back. Tons of people and things willing to bring you down. Better to walk alone, even if you can never find the Positinos.
@careliakuhn
@careliakuhn 8 ай бұрын
I can paint but still sit in ruminating, so it became exhausting to concentrate, was wondering the same thing ❤
@kornelia1084
@kornelia1084 8 ай бұрын
Thank you! The theme of my rumination: if I realize why am I depressed my depression will go away. My "tactic" hasn't worked yet (for years) but it is like an addiction. I'll try to give my brain a more interesting topic :)
@Diane_McDon
@Diane_McDon 8 ай бұрын
Meta rumination for sure
@kornelia1084
@kornelia1084 8 ай бұрын
@@Diane_McDon Yes! :(
@AmandaMG6
@AmandaMG6 8 ай бұрын
Thx for this. Nailed one of my main issues. Also - creating priorities in free time
@hugobranca
@hugobranca 7 ай бұрын
Never would I have thought I would find a youtube clip that describes my whole existence. Thanks.
@agymayachelonia8381
@agymayachelonia8381 8 ай бұрын
I'm so glad you addressed this and the fact it's not about being a workaholic. Thank you!!!
@mariaconklin8247
@mariaconklin8247 7 ай бұрын
I found that meditation, any way I can, stops that rumination. I'm working to change my subconscious mind so I don't have these old tapes that keep coming back and sabotage what I'm doing. so I make myself meditate with soft music. my mom used to tell me your brain can only think of one thought at a time. therefore make it a good one. or find a paragraph in a book and read that over and over. anything to stay away from old tapes ( self defeating thoughts)that bring you down. you have to police your thoughts. it's a lot of work at first, but soon you'll notice a difference. it's working too.
@jessj7735
@jessj7735 3 ай бұрын
This makes so much sense. Life changing for me. Thank you!
@dontarguewithidiots7459
@dontarguewithidiots7459 7 ай бұрын
Just discovered your channel and wow.. you're great. Intelligent, well informed, great an explaining things.
@SW-oy5zw
@SW-oy5zw 8 ай бұрын
When I start ruminating it’s almost always because of chemicals/hormones/vitamins being off, but regardless, CHANGING activity can help you get through until you can fix any other issues causing it.
@Jadenopokuware2
@Jadenopokuware2 4 ай бұрын
Thank you so much, I feel much better about everything right now. I’ve been through it for months now but thanks to you, I feel better about myself❤️❤️❤️❤️
@pasemes
@pasemes 7 ай бұрын
Thanks for the video. I ruminated a lot during this night. After waking really early for me (5am) i couldnt sleep again. And the more i tried the more i ruminated. At 6:30am i got off the bed and started doing thing. I felt better instantaneously. I felt little strange to do that (do things to forget the ruminations in my mind), but now after your video it makes so sense.
@greenviolist34
@greenviolist34 5 ай бұрын
I've watched several of your videos now and there are many parallels between your experiences and my own. Because of that, I do feel more compelled to listen to your advice. Though, even in your breakdown of what you were thinking, how you were thinking, what you appeal to when you're in a tough spot also share parallels with my own way of thinking. Each of these components really make your message resonate with me and I appreciate, sincerely what you are offering to the rest of us; a way out of depression.
@unknwn7909
@unknwn7909 8 ай бұрын
The only thing that I can do right now that actually stimulates my brain and makes the feeling of overwhelming disappear is listening to your videos ❤
@akousticbuddha
@akousticbuddha 7 ай бұрын
This is what I needed Doctor. You deserve millions of views. I hope your channel grows more popular every day. 🙏🏿
@brushstroke3733
@brushstroke3733 7 ай бұрын
I've discovered that no matter how much I think about reasons to give up drinking, smoking, and toking, I will end up doing them if that's what is going to happen. Thinking about it for hours before I eventually give in and imbibe doesn't change anything. This video may help me if i can manage to make myself do things I believe I should be doing.
@PaigeCue
@PaigeCue 8 ай бұрын
You actually save lives. Thank you.
@sburns2421
@sburns2421 8 ай бұрын
This is wonderful advice. In hindsight I should have realized this from past experiences as I have done both and recognized the benefits. My job a few years ago had really two parts: one that required very little cognitive concentration (mostly muscle memory and years of experience), and one that was very meticulous and required 100% concentration. When my mother was dying, in the evenings I intentionally brought the latter home and would work until bed just to avoid thinking about the uncertain but certainly unpleasant events that were unfolding with the end of her life. This went on for several months as her cancer progressed. I certainly got ahead at work!
@mariusd7803
@mariusd7803 8 ай бұрын
Scott, you always pull me out when I’m falling into the “shit pit” of my mind! Keep up the good work! 👍
@mapleleaf902
@mapleleaf902 8 ай бұрын
This is just what I needed to turn off the ruminating. Great examples. Thank you!
@mjbrooks592
@mjbrooks592 8 ай бұрын
Thanks for the explanation of how our brain works. I ❤ the clarification that it mental stimulation that is key. I recently learned that doing something nice for someone else is also a big brain boost that lasts for quite awhile. I surprised a friend with some flowers from my yard. It meant so much to her and that made my brain stop dwelling on my own perceived loserness.
@aspensulphate
@aspensulphate 8 ай бұрын
The fact that there are many people adept in the practice of meditation undermines your premise that this is a universal Human problem.
@judyogrady7886
@judyogrady7886 5 ай бұрын
Thank you SO much. Have struggled with this for decades.
@nedsantos1415
@nedsantos1415 8 ай бұрын
I love the advice and personal experiences you share. Thank you,, Dr. Eiler. Also, thank you for the summaries with timestamps.
@albertmarnell9976
@albertmarnell9976 4 ай бұрын
Great advice Scott! Great insight!!!
@Teaandhoney38
@Teaandhoney38 5 ай бұрын
This is great! Finally i decent explanation of why we ruminate! Awesome
@ParisFitnessj
@ParisFitnessj 6 ай бұрын
Great video. To anyone Reading this . We deserve to feel love Especially by ourselves. Everything is and will ok. We are all in this together sending love.
@bobv8219
@bobv8219 8 ай бұрын
Walking is my release but mostly in nature and not around others so as to not be distracted.
@Funny4450
@Funny4450 8 ай бұрын
THANKS, Doc. Dealing with this right now, as I was laid off from my job in February.
@baeconater8
@baeconater8 7 ай бұрын
The best channel I have found in years! Thank you so much
@1coolblast422
@1coolblast422 8 ай бұрын
I ruminate constantly. So when I do anything I cant concentrate fully because I still ruminate. There for I suck at everything I do. Then I ruminate on what I just did and how I sucked at and the cycle continues all day every day fo 59yrs
@koitka2037
@koitka2037 6 ай бұрын
Thank you. I really needed this. Thank you so much!
@johnrotten4871
@johnrotten4871 4 ай бұрын
Meditation and Mindfulness are definitely ways in which you can quiet your mind. It takes time to train your mind to replace your ruminating thoughts through Meditation and Mindfulness but is worth every minute. It may sound silly but I can help myself fall asleep at night by counting to 60 over and over. Each time I get to 60 I unfold a finger from a closed hand to determine how many minutes I have been counting. If your mind drifts from counting to ruminating, don't lose hope, just return to counting. It gets easier to return to counting the more you practice. If you start losing count it's a good sign as you are probably starting to have short periods of sleep that you are not even aware of. If you lose count, just check how many fingers you have unfolded and keep counting from where you thought the count was at. Another sign that you are starting to fall sleep without knowing it, is that your thoughts change to half dream/half awake type thoughts. Losing count and having unusual thoughts helps calm the mind as you realize that you are almost asleep. I don't think I've ever counted for more than about 15 minutes. I haven't tried associating my counting with sheep jumping fences but who knows - maybe associating the counting with an actual task or event may help keep the mind busy enough to avoid switching back to rumination. I need to work on my daytime rumination now : )
@kambrose1549
@kambrose1549 8 ай бұрын
Thankyou! I have been making this exact mistake!
@MorningToast_77
@MorningToast_77 8 ай бұрын
This video came at the right time. Appreciate your insight and channel. So much better than therapy 💯
@relu1010
@relu1010 8 ай бұрын
For me, working out is great for thaking things out of my mind :)
@relu1010
@relu1010 8 ай бұрын
*taking
@ramenaddict1676
@ramenaddict1676 8 ай бұрын
I'm surprised but at the same time im not surprised at myself.
@storzbickel4328
@storzbickel4328 7 ай бұрын
Good stuff. Def types of meditation would have been good to add to this. Overall something like running or weight lifting will be better for most people. But the patterns that lead to rumination can be lessened greatly with a meditation practice, watching the thoughts of rumination or whatever may come just arise and fall away and continue putting attention back on the breath or sounds or whatever can really start to hammer home that these are just merely thoughts, and they won't last, and over time greatly reducing the amount they occur and affect you. There are still people that perhaps have an intense mental health issue that this alone won't heal them completely, but most likely either would staying active. My brain often gets overworked throughout the day and atleast once or twice a day I need to stop what I'm doing anywhere from 1-10 minutes and just watch the absolute anarchy of thoughts in my head turn to calm tranquil waters, don't even do anything in particular, just disengage with activity and everything calms down, anger goes out the window, and peace fills me. There's nuances to all this kind of info. Like he said, don't always go, go, go and don't sit around binging TV shows, find your balance.
@harmony331000
@harmony331000 8 ай бұрын
I’m new here but so far I really like what you’re doing & saying on your channel. I appreciate your time & advice , it is greatly needed in my life right now & you’ve already given me knowledge & hope! Thank you!
@pandorajames1568
@pandorajames1568 7 ай бұрын
Yes!!!Thank you this is a great reminder. Sop grateful for sharing.
@glennagoss7335
@glennagoss7335 8 ай бұрын
I needed this. Thank you. It helps so much.
@paddymalky1979
@paddymalky1979 5 ай бұрын
So this is why I can't sleep because I am trying to stay calm, eat light, focus on everything positive sleep related, etc etc. Makes sense but so hard to not to. Took my first cycle ride in 14 years earlier (chased by an angry seagull) round my town and honestly had no thoughts other than "my god why am I not coughing my lungs up " get home settle and start thinking about bed routine and back to square one. Changing mindsets and looking forward to going for another cycle tomorrow although it's hard with COVID and 35 years of smoke and tar in lungs. This needs to be my thoughts - Keep off ciggies and get fit . I Will get back to normal life small steps at a time....
@Mechanics-MMA
@Mechanics-MMA 13 күн бұрын
Thank you very much for this, and congratulations you are an exceptional and very young dr. you are going to help a lot of people along your life, that's a beautiful purpose to live
@jayduke8554
@jayduke8554 8 ай бұрын
You sooooo hit the point, nail the issue or say what’s helpful based upon experience soooo often. Thank you for your time 😊
@Skyyskye
@Skyyskye 24 күн бұрын
Your videos are helping me so much, huge thank you
@lisamiller4833
@lisamiller4833 8 ай бұрын
Thanks for explaining this. Didn't realise that I do do this. I'll be following your suggestions!
@atombombtom8615
@atombombtom8615 8 ай бұрын
Thanks Dr. Ellers...good to know our old friend R Crumb had it right the whole time...KEEP ON TRUCKIN"! Subscribed.
@ryans413
@ryans413 6 ай бұрын
This is why road rage is a thing. People have all this built up negative energy and have to express it. People just need to learn it’s okay and let it go.
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