Dumped by someone on the rebound (now you can’t move on)

[@chrismais]

I learned to take accountability for ignoring the red flags and ending my victimhood and blame narratives. For mistaking sexual chemistry, intimacy and attraction and lust for love. Tasting flavor without nourishing substance. Once I realized my self worth. I evolved.

[@grandeurglory7777]

" Tasting flavor without nourishing substance." what a sentence!

[@SR77736]

Glad you've learned the difference. Growth is powerful.

[@TMarie-vo8zi]

Yowzaa! Perfect words Christopher, thank you! I might use them, but give credit where it's due! ✌🏼❤🌟

[@shaut9120]

How do u determine the difference between lust love vs something that is real? And how can u tell I what they are feeling for u

[@chrismais]

@@shaut9120 Lust is thinking of the physicality of a person. How they move through a room. Her breasts and her hips and the wet shine of her lips as they are glossed and smile at a person. Magnetically drawn to someone and you can feel your heartbeat pick up and your genitals stir and stiffen with arousal. That is lust. Love occupies moments shared having a picnic in the park and a pigeon taking a crap on her shoulder and you both laughing and looking into each others eyes and sharing a kiss. Love can be a silent shared moment reading books in a living room. Love is holding someone's hand in the hospital to support them even though both of you are unsure of the outcome you will be waiting for your person to return. Love means opening yourself to the reality you may have to let go of the person who might not feel as you do down the line. Or might have fallen out of love with you. And love is wishing them the best happiness even it is without you in it.

[@jeffcrenshaw9932]

“When we are who we are, the right eyes will see us.” Love that!

[@herc213]

Same here, I loved what she said in the end 💕💯

[@mckennaskinner4312]

I love!

[@GoodBoyFx]

Yes, so true! but we must work towards improving & polishing the self. So it help next person see ourself. Everyone looks for the best rightfully so. Our effort should be to help them see us better.

[@tcarls487]

I can’t wait for it to stop hurting

[@Dumbpuppet101]

I believe in you!!!

[@lost_and_bleeding]

The fact that I'm safe, loving, kind and gentle was just the info I needed right now. Thank you! I'm a realtionship material, it made me feel much better

[@paulagarcia1122]

Be thankful your not with that person anymore. This type of person tried to make me feel less than, valueless, and questioning myself... No more. It was a season, and now that season is over.. be thankful for this lesson

[@SusanWinter]

Excellent, Paula. I'm happy for you.

[@next-next-finish]

Although you may not see this anymore or are in a much better place now, hopefully, just know this was a very beautiful and inspiring comment to someone that's hurting now. Thank you.

[@engrcasper7602]

I cant thank you enough Susan. There are lots of videos discussing how to get your ex back from the rebound and that not to worry cos the rebound will surely fail, thus making us feel that we were worthless in the first place. But here you are giving advice to the real victim in the situation. It made me feel a lot better about myself. Many thanks and love from the other side of the world.

[@Zamstein]

I was just thinking the same thing

[@gateaspirant2383]

yes we are the real victims,, unfortunately no one is talking about us :/

[@Pelis_Chilangobythesea]

we are relationship material, they are not rrady for us. we are superior on any way.

[@sgtarmas]

My thoughts exactly!

[@venera-tmr]

"So the question is not will they ever come back to me and why don't they want me, the question really should be at that point why do I want them" this sentence actually makes me realize I don't want that person with that low mentality again in my life. Thanks a lot for such kind of advice.

[@Pelis_Chilangobythesea]

low mentality agree

[@richardrichard9953]

I met a girl, Fell in love and three months later got dumped for a guy with a nice car. It was that simple. It was a rebound that I was unaware of. I learned that day to never be that guy again. I went out, worked hard and made a good life for myself . Married a super model and we've been together for 34 years but every now and then I'll get a reminder of how I was used and dumped with no regards to my feelings and it will come back to haunt me. I watch these videos, Vent and get over it. Some of these things can affect you for life.

[@Pelis_Chilangobythesea]

bro thank you. I mean I think This feels worse than be cheated? dunno

[@MB-qm2re]

As you said "when we are what we are, the right eyes will see us"! so well said, thank you.

[@SusanWinter]

Glad you like that. Thanks, Maryam.

[@reeves326]

Yes, beautiful! I love watching Susan's videos, she is so wise and kind. Definitely my role model.

[@RaphaelFrancis68]

The saddest thing is that twice I wanted to stop seeing her, because I explained that I was getting too close, and she told me that she doesn’t want to let me go because she’ll miss me. Weeks after, she dropped me like a stone.

[@shiiraspalette]

Thank you so much Susan , I’m a rebound girl . I’m so heartbroken , feel used and betrayed. In my case I’m able to detect in the early stage of relationship . So I end it quickly. Even when I did that it still hurts , Bcs I devolop feelings for him. I love , cared , cherish him very much . My last word for him was I told him to open his eyes and realise he cannot make people stay when they don’t want to stay ( his ex cheated on him) why can’t you appreciate the people that stay and care for you. I know I shouldn’t beat myself up , but i feel like a fool. I know I deserve better and shouldn’t sell myself short . It hurts so much . I just want to be loved , came Into relationship ready to give my all but then he’s not feeling the same . I want to be loved and appreciated , to be in right healthy relationship. It’s upsetting .. sighs . Anyway thank you again Susan 💕

[@sanjeshnidevi982]

@Floraison Fleur Your story totally resonates to me. Although mine had other angles of issues that came in to play as well, besides the rebound. If you are comfortable, I’m hoping you can talk more about your situation. Especially how you see the red flags and recognize the issues early in the dating. My story was that I met him 6-7 months after the breakup of his 6 year relationship (she cheated with his friend). When we met, I looked his Facebook and he still had all their couple photos and that was a major red flag for me. He still insisted that his relationship had reached its coarse and he was done with it. He also said he wanted to take it slow with me while he kept his profile active on online dating sites/app. Long story short, I ended things with him if after 3 months (4 dates later), because of his inconsistencies and his habit to smoking weed all the time. A year later though now, I’m still feeling pain from this. How long has it been for you, if you don’t mind sharing? Thanks.

[@shiiraspalette]

Lara Srinivasan you are a strong person dear , god bless you ❤️ . Know that you deserve to be loved and appreciated . I know when we went through this rebound situationship - it does affect the way we look at ourselves .. like are we not good enough? Are we not pretty enough? Are we this and that? We kept thinking smthg is wrong with us . Maybe there is smthg that we could change in order to be the person you desire to be , but keep it mind that, if someone is blind and unable to see what they have at that moment - someone who is ready to love them , then let them be . In the end we can’t change people , they’re in pain that’s why they did what they did. But it’s not our responsibility to heal them. Personal healing is our own responsibility, for them to use others as a rebound is a bit selfish. Plus they don’t know what they want in rs , we can’t be with someone who doesn’t know what they want in rs right? It won’t go anywhere. Maybe the person who we dated are good people , but because of the pain they went through they become who they are today, pain and clueless or lost. Send the prayers, I sent him prayers. It’s okey if you miss him, it’s okey if you’re still in pain. Take your time to heal. You will be okey. Know your worth. You deserve so much more dear ❤️ you deserve to be loved , appreciated , cared for and more. Invest in yourself , be the person you want to be , do things that you love. The right person will come to you without the need for you to search for it ❤️ have faith that it will get better. For now if you need to cry, cry it out . Don’t bottle it . It’s okey to miss them but remind yourself that you deserve more. Every person that we meet In our life can teac is a lesson, maybe it’s a self love lesson , or it could be anything. I wish you and pray that you will meet someone better, heal completely from this pain ❤️ take your time to heal. It’s okey if it takes more than 2 years , take your time . You’re precious dear ❤️ you’re worthy of good things ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Sending a lot of hugs and prayers in your way ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@sanjeshnidevi982]

@Floraison Fleur Thank you so much for this lovely and supportive message. Such kind words. I honestly feel that I truly connect with you even though we only know each other through our pain/hurt in this heartbreak. I want to encourage you that you are more than “good enough“ and no this heartbreak does NOT define you and I. Don’t rely on your understanding to find that inner peace because the world only gives temporary peace. I want to urge you to keep faith and know that God loves you. I believe that. God has been my rock and strength because my own strength fails. God bless you. Hugs ❤️

[@shiiraspalette]

Lara Srinivasan 🥺❤️ you’re such a beautiful person. I honestly agree with you ❤️❤️ May god bless you dear . Hugs ❤️🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@heyitsamygrace]

@@shiiraspalette Hi Shiira, have read your story and we have almost similar experience.. how are you now? Guess you've moved on already.. Just broke up with him last April - im so hurt but now moving on ..

[@kllmsftly]

This flies in the face of what I understand about rebound relationships. Chosen by the rebounder? BS. You were convenient. You were the target they will use to heal their wounds, use you for validation, use you so they can work through their stuff, and use you so they aren't alone.

[@soniareigns1088]

Why would we want someone who left us back? The reason they left is because they were never going to be a part of your life. They have opted to dismiss them self from you. Allow yourself to grow and work on yourself. If they left for a rebound. It only meant you were a hell of a person they couldn’t give 100% to. So they left for a downgrade. Meaning their match or a person a lesser. So keep pushing on and love yourself. Let them go and you do you.

[@kjbrocky]

Just found you today. As a middle-aged woman, I must say you give the best advice I've ever heard. You talk about issues most people don't address, and you have very wise and insightful thinking. Thank you!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks!

[@melizarangel686]

Thank you for talking about rebound relationships!!!! I have been a rebound girlfriend two times and it hurts so much. This video is so useful. Send lots of love 💖🥰😊

[@bigpoopoo9642]

Same girl, hope ur doing well

[@islamic.videos1982]

Stay strong.... I was a rebound for a girl in 2021, got extra hurt when she left because I just went through a divorce few months prior....how easily these people move on and go back to their ex without any closure is just heart breaking

[@sanjeshnidevi982]

@Susan Winter Susan, you are truly an inspiration. This so refreshing because it reminds us, those who are looking for rebounds to get over an ex and the man or woman who knowingly or unknowingly, becomes a victim of rebound, that we ALL ought to take RESPONSIBILITY and be ACCOUNTABLE for our actions or lack of it. Unlike, the tasteless and disgusting messages in today’s dating culture, in the internet and preached by so-called relationships experts. Majority of the dating “experts” out there especially male dating coaches, prescribe that REBOUNDING is completely harmless and is a “sure way“ to get over an Ex. You know the age old cheap myth that goes something like “ best way to get over a bad breakup is to get under someone”. I can’t begin to tell you how disheartening and inhumane this message and tactic is. When will these dating “experts” stop spreading such garbage because this destroys a person’s CORE?

[@Sarai0901]

oh my god, i never thought about it that way, i was i rebound, and like Daniel, i was beating myself up, because i thought it was my fault he left, something i didnt say or do, but he just got out of a 15 year relationship when he met me. it has been 7 months since he broke up with me, and i have been able to move on, little by little, but i still get angry when i miss him or wait for him to come back. But your point of view, did open my eyes and my heart. Thank you

[@ThatGuyCharlie1972]

Susan, thank you for posting this video. This situation happens a lot more frequently than most people think. I asked myself the wrong question because I know I could offer more than what my ex's ex, especially her ex was abusive. The question is: "Why do I want them back" is a perfect answer to my question. I thought I didn't do enough, too nice, or too needy. but they all do not matter. I hope you will post videos with similar themes. It's really therapeutic.

[@biswaMastAadmi]

Same here. My gf left me for her 6.5 yrs of ex- bf ! Everything was going good we were about to marry too and my parents were involved too. she used to miss her ex and I used to hug her in those situations. Suddenly she started behaving different, I confronted her and she said she wants to go back. Within 12 hrs of this convo she dumped me and patched up with her ex. Now she does not even care if I am dead or alive. Weird !

[@gorillasaur4110]

👑

[@itscold4339]

Never take her back.

[@abdulc5726]

I'm sorry she did that to you. U didn't deserve that. She's a loser using people

[@shehjadkushkiwala4199]

Be proud king, her choosing you doesn't define ur worth, it would have been injustice to what you have to offer if you had married her

[@jasyyyyn]

A million thanks, Susan. My head has been spinning with emotions and false hope and you completely captured what that feels like. This gives me a different perspective on everything. You are so right🙏🏽

[@robotfreedom5385]

I can't thank you enough Susan, that was fantastic and I honestly feel 10 times better after seeing this you do such a wonderful job I'm very blessed to have found your Chanel again thank you so much!

[@SusanWinter]

Daniel my dear man. I'm pleased to know I've answered your question suitably, and even happier that you now feel better!!! Yay! You've put a smile on my face and for that I must thank YOU!

[@KatieC-i1b]

Susan, I love you so much. I’m dealing with getting over my first big love and realizing I was his rebound- this video helped me so so much in changing my thought process! Thank you ❤️

[@richanaithani4524]

Oh same!

[@Cortnieamber]

I just went through their socials (him and his ex who both badgered me and degraded me to nothing but a rebound) and I felt really down and insecure. This happens a lot, I will be feeling sure and proud of myself one moment and beat down the next. This video helped clarify a lot. Thank you, you’re absolutely right it’s not about them, it about me.

[@MelissaGarza]

Susan you are the best! I needed to hear this! They keep coming back just to have their soul soothed and then reject me. Someone who truly loves you will move mountains to get to you. My adventure continues... I know I’m ready for my perfect divine partner, I’m worth so much more.

[@SusanWinter]

That's the truth, Melissa!

[@chryh9082]

Me and my ex just broke up 11 months ago and stalked her and saw her posts on one of her social media accounts that she was reading her old convos with her ex. I felt used, trashed, despite of the kindness and the things I did to her. It's a good thing that I saw this video and now it makes me wonder why do I want her back despite of the past hurts and realization that I was indeed a rebound. Thank you for sharing your insight.

[@patricks357]

I've been through this myself and I find it is a situation that doesn't get discussed very often on a lot of KZbin content. I've found it hard to move on from this kind of situation, and I thank you for your time discussing this.

[@HeavenlyMe11]

You always always say the right thing, i’m so glad that you exist! Thank you for everything you’re amazing

[@anelisakrweqe2649]

Always with gentle, comforting words of wisdom. Not picking sides. Great vibes May you continue to be blessed.

[@nayaplayz441]

So appreciative of the beautiful way Susan articulates this subject. And seeing everyone’s posts is comforting because we are not alone! Almost 2 months past the breakup from being a rebound and he monkey-branched into another rebound. Crave validation and wanting to feel that I meant something to him, but that’s all. As Susan states “why would you want that person that.....?” It still hurts but everyday gets easier and easier. Peaceful thoughts for you all! ❤️

[@maureenchevalier3751]

So true! Thank you Susan. Brilliant and insightful as usual. You are one of those gems you mentioned! I can thank my ex for leading me to you ☺ "Why would I want somebody with that disposition, that nature or that ability to do that? Why would I want a person who functions from that realm of thinking. Why do I want them...actually, I don't"

[@lisazamplione6550]

Hi Susan! I loved this video! I was in a somewhat similar situation, and when I heard you say, there is a gift, something they brought out in us, well, I have to say, the man I had in my life I have to thank for being the reason I went back to pursue my psychology degree :) Thank you Susan!

[@christieleigh7728]

I love this! I am not waiting.. not even a second.

[@rainsi4060]

I am glad to see this video, going through painful breakup a rebound he said to me he liked and care for me, but he loved her for 2 years, and the most painful part is that he comeback to his ex, and that ex is my friend. So now i lost them both.. it’s so heavy and painful. But we talked and settled to just be friends the 3 of us, i felt i was betrayed by my friend. And I have this thinking that they are still secretly communicating, and it hurts me.

[@Mhousebossbabe]

Susan, this has been the most cathartic video I have ever seen. This is exactly the advice and answer I have been searching for. This too recently happened to me and I was not sure how to express how I was feeling. You are 100 percent correct that we need to take a look at what good the relationship had to offer. Build from there. I can say that, I grew as a person and enjoyed new life experiences with this person. I m saddened it ended in a way that I still cannot explain why, but do look to the future for a new and better me.

[@Microdosingyourvalidation]

I am going through this right now! and I’m so hurt! Thank you so much! Your insight was so on point!

[@sayaridzwan]

It has been a year now. How are you doing? I'm in this situation right. Hopefully I would move on after a while, hopefully not after a year.

[@shaut9120]

Me too . What did u end up doing and how did u get better how did u accept just letting them go?

[@engrcasper7602]

me too

[@iamcomanche9184]

Fwuark- that’s a tough question “ why do I want that person” . That’s a tough question to answer not really sure .

[@Judylee418]

Thank you Susan! You are so eloquent, so compassionate, and so elegant and BEAUTIFUL! I am learning so much!

[@bujjimba725]

This is the exact situation I'm in right now. Thank you soo much : )

[@sterlingforbes3872]

Wow, this was better than therapy, thank you for the video. You've helped me hurt less.

[@mojaeger85]

A friend I’d hang with over the years reached out to me after a few months of not talking. She was so invested in me and we talked for a month and a half. I felt so safe talking, that I could say anything to her, and she could tell me anything. She suggested I moved out to her and I did. I uprooted my whole life and ignored the red flags. Once I got here, she had no interest. She wasn’t even close to being open to talk as she was before. Here we are 3 months later and she still pulls me in to care for her when I’m pulling away.. but when I need any closure, she criticizes and advises me in a condescending way.

[@violator2695]

I loved this ... "we shouldn't have to sell ourselfs"

[@jamieford4594]

I've recently had 25 yr old repressed hurt resurface over a broken engagement. Just last night I prayed asking, "Why and how can I get past this?" I woke to find your video in my recommendations feed...talk about divine intervention! Thank you.

[@SusanWinter]

Jamie, what an amazing story. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.

[@shehjadkushkiwala4199]

So you were suffering from your past for over 25 years?

[@M2world612]

Hah, this scenario is so timeless. I had a similar experience with a separated woman w/young kids and way younger (I was 'safe' for sure), but I sensed this was a rebound going in so I wasn't totally emotionally invested, but its hard not to reciprocate how smitten they are with you as they rebound after a long term marriage. But after a few months of this high intensity affair/fling I questioned to myself why I was investing time into this when I knew in my gut it wasn't a long term option -- she likely sensed this and maybe started to feel her own reality and abruptly disappeared. I wasn't too surprised I guess, but even so, it still sort of stung for about a month when she moved on. What a world!

[@chriseleuterius]

This is the EXACT situation I just went through! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Susan!

[@SusanWinter]

Love it when this happens.

[@Chess-ks8lk]

I was a rebound guy for a woman for 4 months. She got hurt by some badboy. She cheated on me, lied to me and pretended She was in love with me. Now I am traumatized for the rest of my life. Never gonna trust any woman for the rest of my life.

[@Hammster99]

Wow, this is the most encouraging thing i could have hoped to find

[@leannekeep3788]

Thank you Susan feel so much lighter inside for watching this tonight.

[@elliejohns8895]

Susan you're such a blessing i can't tell you how much your vids helped me. I wouldn't have went through life if it wasn't for your wise words❤️

[@stephblenheim4283]

You're the most wonderful intelligent woman and dating coach. Everything you say makes perfect sense.

[@sarahw9509]

I have only just seen this video and after so much searching I am so thankful that I did. I was hurt & angry. Susan you could be talking directly to me. I am relationship material & I'm ready to move on

[@ambersemona9676]

Thank you for this. I have been trying to figure out this question myself for far too long. 7 yrs later and in a better realationship now. I still cant seem to bring closure from a man i was with for 5 yrs. He kept having affairs on me. And the thing is i am still angry at myself for putting up with this for that long. In the end he hadnt come home for 4 days and when he did, he was wearing a wedding ring.for the first time in my life i wanted to truely die. He left for the day to give me time to pack mine and my daughters things. At the time my child was at her grandmothers. And i felt like i was a terrible mother for showing her that even though a man had hurt me so badly , i still stayed with him. So i felt at that time that if i ended my life it would be better for her. To this day I still cant get over why I would EVER let anyone make me feel this way. I was about to start my car, because this was how i was going to end my life. by driving into a tree or off a cliff. Thats when i looked up and my uncle was standing there. He truely saved my life. He drove me to a hospital where i checked myself into a crisis lock down center for 72 hrs. they give you one phone call and you guessed it i called the "ex" thats when his new wife answered his phone telling me that they met two days ago are in love ran to Reno and got married. 😐😥 . anyways the only thing this center did for me was shove heavy drugs in me. i kept asking to talk to a doctor. they informed me that before i was to be checked out the Dr. would see me. Omg so... 3rd day the Dr. asked me what they could do for me. i said i need to make sure and understand that i NEVER go back to this man. she then said honey you came to the wrong place...we cant help you with a broken ❤. sorry for all of this guys..lol anyways 7 yrs later and i ran into this person in a store 2 months ago. he tried to talk to me saying he knows where ive been living and who i am with now. i left my cart full of stuff a ran out to my car shaking. why the hell do i feel like this??!! i feel like something is wrong with me. 🤔😔😞

[@SusanWinter]

Amber, you've had an extreme case of abuse and you're still blaming yourself and making him "huge" in your life. He's a mixed up guy who's cruel. That's all. I strongly suggest you enter therapy. If your job covers mental health, awesome. If you don't have insurance it's now open enrollment. Look into Medicaid or state funded social workers. I urge you to seek continual support until you feel stronger. All the best.

[@k.w.1459]

amber make-up-luva i am sorry this man came into your life and caused you hell. I think you are more upset with yourself over letting him do this to you. Just try and remember that it was your past and life is about always trying to be better than you you were. Don’t let his dysfunction continue to rule your life. He sounds like a horrible person.

[@rocker1889]

Amber, reading this makes me cry for you. No one with a pure heart like yours should be treated so unfairly. I hope you heal so you can regain power and control over your life.

[@ambersemona9676]

Susan Winter Thank you Susan, I have taken your advice and have an upcomming appt. With a therapist. I forgot to mention 3 years ago I did get a diagonsed with PTSD. Recently moved back to my home town almost 4 months ago. And because I am disabled thank goodness for free medical.❤ i am extremly grateful for. I have a total of 8 ruptured disc on my spine. 3 of which punctured my spinal cord 3 yrs ago. Emergancy surgery fixed the 3, but after surgery and an MRI they discovered i had 5 more "strangling" my spinal cord. So unfortually I am unable to work at all mostly because from fixing the 3 disc pinched my cord even more leaving me with no feeling in my entire left are/hand and about 50% in my right. Sorry for all the venting. Lol but i love to listen and for me talking heals the soul.❤😚🌹

[@ambersemona9676]

K. W. You are completly right! And I need to figure out why the f do I give this person control still tp this day! So strange because I know that makes No sence what so ever but yet My body reacts still. Ugh 🤔 really boggles my mind. Anyways I want to thank you greatly for careing enough to leave me such a lovely comment. Bless your ❤ dear.🤗🌹

[@kjbrocky]

Hi Susan. Please do a video on a specific type of rebound: the situation being that a man has been married for 25 years, he gets burned by his wife who files for divorce. It's a very nasty, bitter divorce. She and her boyfriend marry, and in his pain and lonliness, he moves in with a woman who was a long-time friend. He's confused and wanting security and not sure of his feelings for her, but she wants commitment. It's basically a relationship of default, convenience, and not wanting to be alone. How likely do you think it is that this will last long-term? Thank you!

[@lorib5398]

Not very likely. Be upfront and honest with him that you see his need. If you're not willing to be his sounding board and friend without expectations, then don't do it. But talk about the relationship honestly as it is.

[@escalera601]

Susan, your words were so comforting to me. Thank you.

[@marischlice3990]

Amazing video and I've taken so much away from this. Thank you for taking the pain and turning it into a learning experience.

[@RH-ul2bc]

So happy to have found this. Why do I want them indeed. Needed to hear that.

[@CherryBlossomStyleXx]

Crying so much watching this 💗

[@Strangelora]

thank you for showing me i am not alone in feeling this way

[@lindacarroll6255]

You’re advice is so spot on. Thank you so much!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks Linda.

[@walterholland1251]

Thank you so much! Of all the videos on being used as the rebound, this is the best one. Thank you

[@davidsims5796]

I have a friend who has now been separated from 4 months, now she just met this Venezuelan guy, saying that he's so sweet, fun and kind , and she wants to learn his culture.

[@Golden-ui5um]

Thanks, I really gained a better perspective. Everything you said in this video described my situation perfectly.

[@Golden-ui5um]

Since I originally made this comment I've met someone who fits my life so well that I'm struggling to believe it's true. I'm taking my time with her but so far every time I spend time with her she is more of the same, very consistent.

[@kimm2216]

What a shift of perspective 😲🙌🙌

[@theroomnumber5210]

Susan, you are wonderful and wise. I love the depth of your content!

[@TheKugahei]

He said he loves me and keep seeing and texting his ex ... its hurts. Why he cant just be honest to me

[@TheQueenIsWithin]

Almost a year and he still had feelings for her. He actually said he couldn't give me the intimacy I needed because he still had feelings for her - someone who was physically abusive to him and who he claimed he couldn't have a proper conversation. He actually said if I found someone else that could give me the intimacy, I needed he'd understand. Thing is he said he still had feeing for her much later on despite me giving him 4 months from when I met him to sort himself out and I explained that to him very well. So, he was intimate first and then he pulled back. I was set up basically.

[@kayligo]

Just went through something super similar. Feeling very emotionally manipulated and lied to. He even asked me to be his girlfriend first. Then he immediately put his dating profile back up with a thing about how he's looking for someone emotionally available. He is literally mentally ill. So gross.

[@theHoax100]

are you feeling any better? i just found out i was the rebound, he got back with his ex a week after i ended things with him. i feel so used and disgusted with myself now, not sure when i’ll ever feel better :(

[@robertzsombok7661]

You are brilliant Susan! So much depth and truths here.

[@jodythi1]

Hi Susan, thank you so much for all of the advice that you give. This has came at just the right time for me. I'm going through this right now, I was seeing someone for almost two years with plans to move in, having a family, etc... and once again his ex has came back around always reaching out to him and now he feels confused again. They have broken up many times... He can't decide, so I made the decision for him, for me to walk away, but I'm still so hurt from being used.

[@RG-hf4et]

Miss Talia You did the right thing. You should want someone who has your back 100% of the time. Run from wishy washy "I'm not sure what I want" people.

[@luhDraco]

My ex used me as a rebound and a year later she left me and went back to her cheating ex. It’s been 3 months almost since the breakup and it’s been no contact for only like 3 weeks. I feel so useless, I wanted to build a future with her. She left me at my lowest. I have now questioned so much stuff in my relationship. I find it crazy that someone could go back to a cheater 😞. She claimed I was the best bf she ever had but once we broke up she threw it all in my face, and said I was the worst bf ever. How do people disregard peoples feelings like this 😔

[@r1h2o3n4d5a6]

Omg! You just opened my eyes wide open. I understand so much now. Thank you!

[@graceann1258]

This is beautiful. Thank you so much for this. Lively, lots of perspective, and straightforward.

[@2tooful]

A woman I was going out with for 2 years did this to me, I’m so hurt , she’s 38 I’m 30,we met at the same place we work when I was 27 and she was 35,she was separated and in divorce process,I was her shoulder to cry on when she talked about her ex and how he hurt her, I consoled her and gave her support, we had passionate sex ,she always told me how I was a good man and was very glad she found me, we talked about a possible future, hopes and dreams,the worst part is that I’ve fallen in love with her but she says she doesn’t feel the same way towards me, even worse she didn’t have the courage to talk to me in person, it was all text and one call, we had agreed to meet in person and talk , that’s what hurts me the most, after I showed her my affection and everything she couldn’t even sit down with me and talk in person, I feel like I wasn’t that important after all, I wasn’t begging her to be with me or anything,I just wanted closure, I felt like at least I was owed that!! I couldn’t even get that from her, I’m extremely devastated, I cried like a baby sometimes,sometimes I cried myself to sleep, my mom is very supportive and tells me everything is going to be ok, this was my first true love experience, sometimes I see her at work and talks to me like a normal co-worker and tells me just wants to be friends, I will move on.

[@alvertomartinez1455]

🤣

[@captainfrank1775]

You did it again... exactly what I needed to hear..ty

[@janeygibbs9481]

Love it. This made me feel so much better.

[@sharonleane]

Does a rebound relationship have to be short and sweet or can it go on for a long time? Surely if it goes on for 8months plus (example)...isn’t that a real relationship??

[@sarahcreelman4649]

Oh my god this made me feel so much better !!

[@rocker1889]

Wow Susan! When you put those glasses on my heart went crazy!! Thank you for this subject. I was moved. I'm now kinda seeing a woman I care very much for. Her live in bf moved out 4 months ago. She has been lukewarm with me but we still hang out. I guess I should not expect too much from her too soon. No matter how much she never mentions the separation with her live-in bf, I suspect it still troubles her 4 months later. Thank you for this Susan.

[@SusanWinter]

I'd suggest expanding your options. If you're not getting signs of real interest, don't wait around. Best wishes!

[@johnklein93612]

Susan i cant tell u how beautiful this was and i needes needed this. Its time ti move forward.

[@WildWolf_77]

Thank you so much, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I feel like I been used.. and this video and your words have comforted me a lot and made things very clear I really thank you ❤️🌹

[@missamericausa]

Your so correct!! I just found you n I’m ur biggest fan!! Boy oh boy- I needed you 3 yrs ago desperately...... I’ve fianlly moved on with so much self work; :)) :)) glad to have u now!!! Thank you.

[@SusanWinter]

Welcome to my KZbin family. Great people gather here; intelligent, kind and evolved. You're in good company!

[@sj3601]

This is absolutely spot on! Thank you Susan ❤️🙏

[@chabilitachabili]

I wish I found your video earlier. I'am now just realizing that I have been a rebound gf and he was my first boyfriend. It hurts so much, I feel like I'm not worth it and so replacable cause when he broke up with me, he already have a new girl and he seems to be doing just fine. 😥

[@walterestrada9523]

Kathleen Abesamis time will heals everything. Give urself time to heal and think with a clear head . Keep ur head up don’t look back . What u allow will continue .

[@ramirenriquez6795]

hearing "it completes its tasks" made me feel lighter

[@Italiancatmommy]

Thank you for making this video! 💖 It’s like you were talking to me.

[@dhruvcompany7605]

I was a rebound for a girl for 5 months , then she said she does not want to be with me and we should talk less ,. Then i cut all contacts ,,. But she kept reaching out to me very often, then I said to her that I don,t have anything to do with her and cut all contacts , but after one month she saw a group picture , me with one of her college girl friend and many of my friends and their girlfriends, she became very jealous and immediately confront me and her that friend if we were dating or not ,, as we were not, I said no ,,, my ex and me get back together once again ,and dated for 2 months she seemed very into me ,, it is before the lockdown during covid 19 ,. After 2 months of the lockdwn she pulls away and become unsure again ,. I am in no contact since ,. But during this she contact me couple of times ,,. Am i still a rebound after 12 months .. ??

[@minggi_]

You deserve someone who is sure of you.

[@JohnSmith-ku7nr]

Im a rebound. She told me she still likes me but at the same time she still has feelings for her ex. We have thus broken up but im still waiting for her. At this point, im still waiting for her. Im really confused to whether i shulf move on or continue waiting for her.

[@AndrewTonon]

this was very nice to hear, thank you

[@sarahniece]

I needed to hear this soo much. Thank you 💜

[@ohohoh0211]

Wow.. amazing point of views 😭 thank you. You are an angel

[@punitjatawat3921]

I had a small fight with my gf ...then I went outta town and we didn't talk for a month...and when I came back I saw her investing time with my best friend ...now she only talks about him...like he's the only guy in the world...I tried no co ..but it didn't worked out ..then I tried to talk and sort this out and failed ...and now she says that we're never in love and in a relationship ...we are all in same gym ....I can tell by her body language that she's into him and I don't see an end looks like I fail at everything....and I feel like she's gone forever ...I don't know what to do help me!!!

[@abdulc5726]

I'm sorry that u feel like this. She sounds horrible and u sound trauma bonded.

[@user-ye9hn7tb2z]

you are the best Susan! this is the best advuce ever.

[@TChalla-yg8bl]

went through the same thing with a freshly divorced woman.Hurts but have to let it go

[@Dreamscape_Adventures]

A girl just left me who was in a rebound with me, and i never knew, she never told me abt any ex, and apparently she got wit me 2 days after him, so she left me bc she could not get over him, i moved on, learn from these things, that person is rlly not worthy of u.

[@meltedcheese2192]

How do you even deal with it..? I mean, how is it affecting you in all aspects? Because, he left me "paralyzed", anxious, and deeply unwanted, unattractive- screwed me to the bones. This torn me into pieces he had no clue at all..

[@jaymean44]

This has helped me so much! Thank you 🙏

[@celiohelder1]

Loved this video! Helped me a lot

[@tivajersey2826]

exactly what I needed to hear today! love your videos

[@apekshhathapa4410]

What if they go back to their ex after the rebound-ship is over? or they leave you for the ex? what does it tell about me now?

[@telepathy7757]

It tells me when it fails which it will they will be back

[@Pelis_Chilangobythesea]

it tells that You were used and wasted. hahaha. Same situation over here.

[@alexforce9]

@@Pelis_Chilangobythesea go watch the videos of coach corey wayne - but in short - they just had more time together and stronger emotinal bond. Its not personal. And most of th time the ex will be the ex again soon lol.

[@Pelis_Chilangobythesea]

@@alexforce9 it is not personal I think she is narc and unhealthy

[@ujiclaire9500]

Mine was a rebound and toxic relationship...

[@suviiih8763]

I needed this!

[@nicoleobremski6315]

Thank you for this video!! I so needed this

[@blissfulllife7625]

That's so true...the right eyes wil us ..luv 😘😘♥️

[@SusanWinter]

Blissfull life thanks!