When it's over: How to move on and move forward

Are you desperately trying to get over someone you can’t have? Here’s how you locked them into place, and the remedy for moving out of pain and into true freedom.
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[@heavythinker16]

Reminds me of a line from a The 1975 song, "Don't fall in love with the moment and think you're in love with the girl."

[@coreycox2345]

It was five years, and not a moment. Also, I didn't say this is what I want for the rest of my life. I said, "loving and monogamous with the potential to become long term if both people are happy." Five years and hundreds of things are harder to get over.

[@7o7Dsy]

@@coreycox2345 Please explain what you mean with your statement? It sounds deep.

[@coreycox2345]

@@7o7Dsy Not really. I fell in love with an unavailable man. He means a lot to me, and I am hoping to continue to love him as a friend and colleague. I have a feeling I might do some important work with him or with his guidance. I will love him like that.

[@jaydaquila5131]

@@7o7Dsy just because you two are having a good time, you have similarities and you vibe together well and moments like these does not mean he/she is the one for you. Sometimes What you have together is just what it is and nothing more.

[@casperinsight3524]

You're grieving the dream not the person

[@kimmyball4961]

Does this mean its never the person??

[@mrrsdvt]

Yes !

[@shaggydogj]

I am beginning to understand and accept this concept, but it also leads me to the fact life is an illusion. Not sure I want to believe that either.

[@isaiahsteward3968]

I believe life is what you make it to be….in the process your building it to what you want it to be..sometimes we become stuck and unforgiving to ourselves…for trying to fit the wrong pieces in there….to make life what we see it as for ourselves….

[@vincentpicone6384]

Should never be in love with anyone but yourself. If it’s not a mutual respect it doesn’t mean anything.

[@lucianosmurf7037]

This helped me, I wasn't in love with Scarlett, I was in love with the feeling of having someone to share life with. It wasn't that she was perfect, it was the situation that was perfect for me. This is really good advise.

[@5musictomyears5]

I love the way you said this because I need to remember this about the one who left me

[@slapbl4ck0ut37]

Dont kid urself. So u don't miss ur mom u just miss the dream of having a parent? No. Scarlett had things you loved. You loved her..

[@isaiahsteward3968]

Yes he loved Scarlett…she had things he loved about her…the situation was perfect for him..she wasn’t…she had working pieces…but systematically it was the overall dream…life is what you see it as…those same things he loved about Scarlett…can be found else where…same situation but applied differently… by your special someone…make the same situation more than perfect for him…

[@catic6587]

I think you get over them when you grow and you become greater than you were when you were with them. Don't force it, one day it will happen that you just don't want that life anymore. But it is a lot of work...and it is painful. It hurts many times.. Accept that pain, embrace yourself like you are a little child and give yourself time to heal. Time and your efort to grow, that will heal.

[@rogerthat1758]

Am going through this rn , am leaving this here for when am finally over it, time heals that’s for sure 😌

[@litzburger]

Breaking up was the best thing that ever happened to me. It sucks but it's for the best. I'm improving myself, working out, focusing on work and friends and it's the best thing to do. I'd never go back to my old relationship. I don't want to talk to my ex anymore, although I respect his decision and I'm thankful he left. Two months ago, I was a mess. But this channel really helped me out.

[@lastmfstanding]

This is so unbelievable accurate. When she said to mentally extract the person, I couldn't hold my tears. This is painful, those moments with her were so special, but I have to move on. I'll keep watching this video over and over until I'm completely healed. Thank you.

[@Lelxandi]

Hope you are doing well

[@SamplersAndThings]

How are you feeling now?

[@jeffdunlap2754]

To a certain extent another human is just a groove that's been worn into your neural network, reeducate the groove, and remember who you were before you were ever aware that this individual even existed. Another human can become a bad habit.

[@hijaumorson]

how are u

[@missamericausa]

I cried too!!!! I’ve been crying for three years. I’ve tried everything I’m speechless once again.

[@SusanWinter]

I wish you the very best, Do It.

[@barbarariley3488]

Crying for three.years is too long sweetie. You deserve to be.happy. Life is.too.short. Best of luck.

[@SusanWinter]

Barbara Riley agreed.

[@mirellavidriezca1119]

I m there crying now

[@myunconsciousismine4694]

That’s crazy 3 years is not normal - what does it change nothing - you get one life get out there rebuild move on - enough is enough stop this!

[@homeworldmusic]

Gotta say, once they are out of your head they are TOTALLY out of your head. Sad but true: none of your true loves is your true love. This is such an important lesson from you, bravo.

[@LadyWoreBlack]

This is so spot on. I’m in love with that period of time in my life, not “him”. If I hadn’t been dating him, I still would have been happy. He was a delicious icing on the cake for a while...but definitely not the whole cake

[@ZekeUlrey]

This is a perfect snapshot of what I have felt and am feeling. That said, this visualization technique has allowed me to breathe tonight.

[@MajdBproductions]

I feel that am locked down to my emotions... ive lost my self-respect trying win back the memories Hope one day ill be able to free my self..

[@Feber2001]

You will be free. I know you can do it.

[@mjg2hotmonkey]

How do you feel these days?

[@buchardcutin8709]

same exact feeling. hoping we get the hang out of this.

[@kimmyball4961]

Oh boy can I relate. My husband, who in all accuracy, was not a good husband, left me for another woman. To my horror I practically got down on my hands and knees and begged him to come back. I will regret that moment for eternity, but in all fairness he had been playing mind games with me. I hope to God if he does try and reconcile, I will have the dignity in myself to tell him its too late.

[@chrisfowler9306]

Couldn’t remember the exact moment that I felt this way with my ex there seemed to be many moments that could have fit this frame. But today a little over a week since he broke up with me, I ran into him and I took a mental snapshot, the caption read “Roadblock to My Happiness”. What an awesome feeling- thank you 🙏😊❤️

[@WatchtheWaters12]

Chris Fowler that’s brilliant!! Great thinking. I’m gonna try that 😊

[@kimmyball4961]

Congratulations!!

[@GCT1990]

This brought tears to me, I was left for someone beneath me, I spent a total of five months locked into her as my happiness, I couldn't for the life of me begin to understand how people move on... I replayed her in my head, I felt this heartache... A tighten ever gripping feeling that weight me down momentary to points where I felted and thought I was taking less breaths then normal. So painful. I Sept those 5 months torturing myself thinking of ways to get back with her while she had someone else, by the way she lives right next door to me I have to see her daily, sometimes with him and most of the times with her children who I fell for as well. It took me five months to come to the conclusion that I just don't have what it takes to live without them. I also started to build a comfort that I was going to feel that for a long time. This one video, the image you explained that you stated I took of what my happiness was and who I felt I needed to enjoy that experience, I saw it... Like you said I began to fade her out while repeating that it was okay for me to let go, I cried... Had a very long, deep cleaning experience of tears and acceptance... Obviously one experience isn't enough to allow a person to walk away clean shave... And with her next door with two children i adore I'm stuck with a double heart ache,but wow... Five months and then you came along and gave me a inhaler so I could breath again. Powerful words of wisdom so powerful. Thanks you

[@SusanWinter]

Oh Gerald. Your letter make my heart sing. Thank you. I truly hope to be of service and help eliminate the pain we experience in love, and the loss of love. You may also want to watch this video to remember who's love you're actually feeling: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKnal5mneK2ckNk I wish you well. YOu're on your way to a new vision of how your life can be.

[@cherylcuttineau7916]

I would also like to know how you are doing. I am going through a similar painful experience. These videos and Susan’s common sense explanations have helped me stave off depression and even momentary thoughts of suicide. Today I got really angry, but it is a healthy anger. I am better than this, I am reclaiming my power and worth. One day the other person will realize what they threw away.

[@c.9850]

Sad to read that. She wasn't for you. Maybe it was for the good and you didn't realize it. Being single is good too. You can do whatever you want. Try it. Good luck.

[@kimlienca]

GCTFilter snake Hope everything has been going ok to your life.God bless your heart.

[@alexanderstevens145]

You were living next door!! Hope you're doing well now

[@alphasierra9059]

This was SOOO0000 GOOO0000D!!! That snapshot is exactly the feeling I was chasing throughout the relationship too!! I wish i could give this a 100 thumbs up!! You're so eloquent!

[@RareGem369]

Don't try to stop the pain and heart ache let it be what it is. Going through a breakup and dealing with the heart ache afterwards is slow and painful process that only heals with time. Yes there are some things that you can do to lessen the blow but ultimately we don't have any choice but to let the heart ache take its course. It's the most saddest thing in this life/society that we have to deal with. Learn to accept and grow and improve yourself one day at a time. Sending love and light to all of you who are going through this rough stage of life as am I but in the end everything will be ok 💜

[@jamesmoore4397]

This is perfect.... I remember the moment. My higher self has been telling me all along that I don't miss her, I miss "us"..... with this visual of that moment I can replace her with a million different faces and it's just as beautiful. Like most of us... I'm in love with being in love. There is no perfect partner.... some people are just a better fit.

[@kimmyball4961]

Exactly!! Couldn't have said it better myself!

[@jmwajmwa1353]

This is the best advice I've ever heard in my entire life. I'm in love with a mental picture of how I felt so much happiness when I was with them. In reality, it's just the feeling i love, not the person.

[@ZDvoid]

How on Earth do you manage to be so wise? Your advice is always super helpful. Thank you Susan for helping many people get through dark and painful times. God bless you.

[@kcnnanna]

This was such an amazing message. I've gone through this several times in my dating life and hadn't ever put together the fact that there was an instant where I made the other person out to be more than they were in the early stages because of how I was feeling at the time. Thanks for sharing this gem.

[@2cool4u24]

What if the picture you have enjoying a time is because she was there. It's like as if the scenery or whatever situation you are in you are in fact enjoying it because of their presence. You liked the way they moved or talked, what they said or looked etc. You have the image of enjoying a time but in fact you miss THEM. The scene would not be the same without them. This is what is most heartbreaking for me.

[@Tutume1111]

Same here. I know I have to find someone who is physically similar to him as that's what I associate with love.. Love sucks 😐

[@1969bogdi]

You put the dot on the i !!! Well thought! You are perfectly right. Her video is supposed to provide some sort of solution or relief... but it is, in fact useless, ... exactly because of what you said

[@erasmus9511]

I feel like the whatever picture or moment is only complete when the said person is there. It’s the whole picture with them in it. But it’s only a past memory that soon will be distant. No matter how hard you want to hold on to it, it will eventually fade. So in case of moving on, yes, time heals and no contact is good too because it prevents you from making new memories with the person. I know it’s so hard to zoom out and see the bigger picture when you’re heartbroken but it is just the way it is and everything will pass and you’ll grow numb by it.

[@crsantin]

Yes this is a bit of a trick she is recommending to get you to let go. The truth is that specific person was the reason why the snapshot was so intense, especially if both of you felt that strong connection in that snapshot in time. You were falling in love. That’s a powerful experience. So her advice here may not work for everyone. Time works. No contact. Eventually you learn to let go. It takes time to rebuild yourself and put yourself back together.

[@Tutume1111]

Amazing advice! I dated someone for 7 weeks he let me go after I set in boundaries with him. An year later still finding difficult to let go of idea of what could have been. This vid definitely helps. Thank you millions

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@chrissyw.7500]

My boyfriend broke up with me three weeks ago and we tried to stay together because we where living in my van, and even though it was very unhappy at least we were together. It fell apart of course. We were going to stay together until we both on the safe space, but the other night he just up and left me with nothing. I have watched thousands of relationship coaches to get me through this, but somehow this very short video has helped me more than all of them. I was able to reframe a specific memory when I knew I had chosen to spend the rest of my life with him and it actually sustained me through a lot of arguments. Now I see it for what it really is, a happy memory that I will cherish forever. I really appreciate your videos in this short and sweet format because they contain such amazing and juicy information. Thank you so much.

[@suzs5991]

So true, those feelings we have and the expectations of people living up to it is the story in our head and when reality hits we try to hold on to it because we felt better about ourselves but it is all an illusion. The truth is always there when we listen to our inner guidance and trust in ourself.

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Sue. That's a beautiful and powerful bit of commentary. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.

[@girlpower7329]

Yes, it's all in our head. That person we thought was there for us was never there. I mean it was not the person that we thought they were. It's freaking complicated but true.

[@jeffthomason7257]

This really hit home....I fell in love with someone that was "not available" and her too. Just too many obstacles, challenges, hardships and circumstances we could not over come. Finally, I just had to let go. Been the hardest thing you will ever have to do is let go of someone you love so much. Life is hard and unfair. Susan, you are the best thank you for saving my mental health.

[@philyip4432]

You are just so right on !!! Unbelievable !!

[@emilymwaki7375]

I’ve never commented on a KZbin video but WOW I must! What a beautiful reframe. 🌹 “Look at that photo again. That’s your ultimate lover. That’s the thing you’ve been looking for. What you’re truly in love with is what you felt...” 🌹

[@letellier1990]

I am having an extremely hard time letting go. I have been with my husband throw all of my adult years. I fell in love with him when I was 15 years old. I am now 50 years old. We have been together for 35 years, married for 28 years. We have been separated for two months. He is never loved me To the capacity of which I have loved him (his words). All of my history has been with this man. We have built a home, had two beautiful children, we have a beautiful grandchild. I feel paralyzed and stack in what I thought my future was going to be. I know I was never a priority to him even though she was always a priority to me. My heart hurts

[@mariadene1501]

Its me Brenda Lee so sorry for you. I was married for 45 years and had the exact same experience. Physically and mentally in pain but I’m going to stop loving him and invest all that into myself.

[@amyjacquelineg.715]

You know how to love, he does not. Don’t blame yourself. You still have many years ahead. Appreciate him for giving you your children & start the next chapter of your life’s story.

[@kimmyball4961]

I hope you are in a better place now. If so, I'll have hope.

[@kimmyball4961]

@@mariadene1501 I know how you feel!! However its hard to turn that love off. The way I see it is that I'm a better more adjusted person than he is because of that.

[@riddhishah6837]

Practice detachment and you will be happy

[@WR-mg3qf]

I would add another element to this technique that I found really made a difference and it was comparing all the equivalent moments from past relationships and seeing the trend. Reveals what I really value and where I am lacking... interesting

[@smuccilicious]

You are simply Amazing! I love how you break emotional concepts down. Keep up the great work!

[@thedevilsadvocate3710]

I have very masculine tendencies. But, I love Susan the most out of all the relationship "experts" because she has a way of explaining it where it you hear it and feel it. Thanks Susan!!!

[@sonjapenalobo1222]

Made me cry. This is one of the most insightful advices i have ever heard. Thank you so much.

[@fudjiecakebrowny]

I tried this and it takes some practice. At first when I would subtract him from the image I just felt sad and lonely. Then I would think more about the feeling of happiness and how it belongs to me .. for me. That has helped. Thank you

[@maynardkrebs9865]

Sorry I’m struggling to agree. The happiness I felt was DUE to the person who made me feel special. If I extract the person...we’ll then there’s no remaining happiness for me. Apologies if negative takeaway from this smart lady, guess I’m just hurting

[@joannab5376]

Thanks God I meet Susan in my darkest hour. Susan You are saving me now. Blessings

[@exploit84]

the best advice anyone could give me...letting go is hard, you just made it a bit easier.Thank you!

[@SusanWinter]

exploit84, thank you. This is such a lovely message to read. I really appreciate you thoughtful note. And I wish you well on your transit.

[@mariadene1501]

Thank you so much. I used to get unbelievable waves of love and happiness at times with my partner, you were able to make realize it wasn’t the person it was that very minute that I was living. Thank you again.,

[@CheezyPies]

Thank you so so much. This video explains things so clearly that the reason I can't move on even though I've accepted the reality that we're done is because I'm trapped with the happy moments I had with him and wish I could have them more but it will never happen again. It was only the moment that I framed it myself, as if I was still in a dream and didn't want to wake up. When you said to remove him out of the frame, I burst into tears. It made me realise he wasn't there any more. It's only me who has been trapped in the desired moment. Many thanks. You're wonderful❤

[@tnt01]

I stumbled across your videos a few months back, and I have to say. You are very intelligent and authentic and warm. I appreciate your work.

[@marymartin7360]

Wow..... thank you so very much. I have been stuck trying to get a man out of my thoughts for a year. So stuck and did not want a new person until I could shake him off. Thank you ,thank you thank you!!!

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Mary Martin,you look stunning 🌹 🌹🌺🌺🌹

[@LaGrossePaulik]

I tried it, and I felt something soothing. I've been in an obsessive relationship, not even sure it was genuine love, and I reckon now that I was in love with 90% of the feelings, 10% of the person. Thank you! :)

[@dipr4169]

Thank you, Susan, you're the best! I'm just stepping out of a relationship which didn't give me what I needed. I realized that I fantasized what I wanted with what I had. Exactly the way you've explained. Everything is in our mind.

[@lilstar844]

I feel like I’ve become so numb after he dumped me.. I cry a lot. But the whole experience has made me emotionally numb. It’s been almost 3 months now. I think about him a lot. I don’t feel any better since the day it happened. I wish I could feel like me again. Loneliness consumes me.

[@marybrett2971]

you don't have to feel that way my friend, i can recommend you to someone who can help you get him back again in no time

[@gennadhillon634]

You'll be okay I promise ❤️ everyone heals at different times

[@meaghanb3276]

Your videos literally saved my life. I just wanted you to know this ❤

[@spiritzweispirit1st638]

Pure Genius..I've Felt this many times in My life..You actually found the words to decifer 'The Obssesion Syndrom' You are the Human Spirit Wisperer!..You so Rock!!! Thank You..huge Spirit Hugs!💌🎓☕😀

[@SusanWinter]

Charles!! Thank you for this wonderful comment. I love it!!

[@MsBkene]

It makes sense what you say. The thing is: I kept falling in love with that person over and over and over and over again over the course of three years, and my feelings just got stronger and stronger with every glimpse I got of them. For three years I saw that person on a regular basis, but other than long eye contact and short interactions we both were too shy. It seems like in my mind there is an endless supply of moments when my emotions and happiness had an 'absolute peak'. Every time he was around the world just seemed a little better. I have at least a dozen of those moments you've just mentioned.

[@unicornsnowflake954]

This made me cry. It is true that the feeling in the moment that captured you was a feeling you felt; they may have not even really shared the same feeling in that moment. I took a picture and added a caption to it and since my lover was in the frame I thought they were the only special one. They are not. So when I did that exercise and extracted him from the photo I saw that I was the source of the feeling and I was happy and was laughing but those were my feelings- not his. Now I can take that photo and see myself happy and realize that there is somebody else out there that will nurture those happy feelings that I felt. This person isn’t the only person that will give me a safe place. It’s hard to except that this special somebody is gone. I will watch this video and some of Susan’s other ones to continue to help me move forward. I am ultimately the source of my joy and success in life 💛

[@marinikaP]

Thank you, Susan, I'm so grateful for having gone through some of your videos, today, it's opened my eyes in a way I already felt but couldn't find the words for, which you could. Especially in one of your videos how you spoke of how from a young age we falsely start to believe that we have to receive love from others in order to be able to feel it, while it's the other way around : we are love and feel the love, naturally, inside of ourselves, it's our gift, within us, this present, the presence of it, of us, and that is how we are able to have us receive/reflect it from our surroundings. And with this video... wow. I realized in that moment, it is indeed the feeling I loved, of being at peace of mind - which, in a same way means that me feeling it means that it's always and already inside of me, in my own power to feel, consistently in me, and never to have to attach it to / have it rely or depend on another person or place or thing outside of myself. it's inside. It's me. I had this pure feeling back then, almost a feeling saying : yes, this is who you're allowed to be, who you deserve to be, this is you, a feeling of carefree-ness, this contentment, time & space standing still, total presence, peace, security and safety, confidence, beauty, admiration, appreciation, curiosity, sexuality, positive desire, listening and being listened to, but now I realize I did feel those feelings, but it wasn't him who triggered them, it was the totality of the experience, and my full devoted presence in it which allowed me for myself to feel and experience this. All things I was feeling were already inside of myself, and are ready to be felt now, tomorrow, in each moment I wish to, so that's what I can take with me from the experience too, release all else, simply continue to feel those authentic feelings within me. Instead of attaching them to someone outside of myself - again, this false reversed belief that "you have to receive love from outside to feel it", it's not about receiving the love, it's actually about seeing the love that you are/have yourself reflected outside - and therefore as we often do we give our innate power away, making another person, place or thing, responsible for those feelings we felt, for those dreams, for that state of abudance and inner peace. No. Luckily, gratefully, and fortunately, it is in my own power = my own responsibility and how I respond to myself in the moment and the experience , taking it in fully and receiving it, that allows and gives myself the ability to always feel all of these beautiful, positive and carefree feelings IN me. I understand too now what you mean about being proud and grateful for not being afraid to love, and having had this experience of love for myself, openly, eye-opening. I'll continue to heal, realizing this beauty, abundance and power within me, to feel and experience, fully, responsibly and gratefully for myself... feeling everything that I feel within me.

[@KarlaMcNeese]

Thank you for this so much! I've been trying to get over someone for almost a year now. I'll begin doing this immediately and try to break free.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Karla McNeese, you look gorgeous 🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🥀🌷🌺

[@joybartlett379]

Again Susan, you hit it right on the nose! I distinctly remember waking up with him one morning and SAYING to him, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you Jay". I was just so amazingly happy. I didn't realize my verbalizing that was not a good idea. I just felt it and said it without thinking. It must have put incredible pressure on him.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Joy Bartlett, you are absolutely Charming 🌷 🌹🌷 🌷🌺🌷🌷🌹🌹🌹🌹

[@gionagrace6279]

Wow! So true! They always say....you are in love with being in love...it wasn't THAT person. It was the feeling. Makes perfect sense! Thanks!

[@ryancoe1686]

Thanks for this video, this helped me heal from a pain 3 years on, shame i didn't see it sooner.

[@kellystone1535]

Thank you for your wisdom Susan. My defining moment was being called by names of endearment that I had not heard in many years. My other defining moment was the betrayal I felt when I realised he had cheated on me with a friend at the time I needed surgery.

[@SusanWinter]

Oh my goodness. Kelly. That's horrible. As a result of bad behavior he gets kicked off the conveyor belt on route to a loving and wonderful relationship. Inherent flaws such as your former partner exhibited don't get it corrected with love. It would take hard work and a lot of motivation on his part. You lost nothing of value. Thanks for writing to me and thanks for coming to this channel!

[@kellystone1535]

Susan Winter And thank you for the warm welcome.

[@naomisoze2862]

This is the realest message ever. I wish I heard this when it was released but the most important thing is hearing it 💖

[@annieportier3584]

Absolutely brilliant! It's like EMDR where you reframe your thoughts or past experiences! This is so helpful. Thank-you SO MUCH!!

[@prashanthb6521]

You hit the nail on its head with this advice. Cant thank you enough !

[@SusanWinter]

You are welcome!

[@welshlady212000]

Thank you for guiding me through this insanity.

[@jacquihida8618]

Omg this woman! It’s like she is in my head! Again 🙏

[@oscarwilliamson1128]

jacqui Hida,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news

[@Andy-wp6lj]

I was 10 years in, and now the END. Hurts real BAD! However i’m a good man who deserves better and now knows what he wants. The emotions from one day to another are all consuming of my thoughts. This too shall Pass.

[@Aryantics]

I can't wait to just love myself more and be great and busy getting paid. Making big moves. Sick of feeling hurt

[@millenniumzeek]

Is the ultimate relationship when all people involved feel that beautiful ecstatic joy you spoke of, together?

[@judisturgeon2370]

You are a doll 🤗 I love listening to you and seeing you 😆 thank you being there for all of us who watch and listen

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Judi sturgeon,you look stunning 🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🌺 🌹🌹🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌹🌹🌹

[@fishlove02]

I felt loved, broke down, loved and broke down again. So this is the last time i let myself broke down again because of her..no more patience, no more give her another chance. I'm moving on my life without her. Yes our dreams crumbled and broke down too but I'll build new dreams with a new woman who deserved to be with me. Thank you Susan, you always makes me feel better and motivated. Bless you🤗

[@pizdit]

Very wise Susan. Letting go isn't the hard part for me. I knew it might not last forever it's the part where she never wants to be my friend again afterwards that hurts still.

[@dzzzzzt]

This is truly profound... yet again, another video that hits it right at the heart for me. Thank you, thank you! Be blessed, well and happy. ❤ For me it was a major moment but also many other moments that compounded to that initial feeling, even made it greater in a way. I didn't want to lose that... but I ALWAYS believed it was SHE who "gave" the feeling to me.. How could anyone else make me feel the same way...? I still have difficulty separating the two and frankly I'm not sure it's possible. The belief that SHE made it possible to feel that way is too strong. HOWEVER, what I'm also sure of is that on a more deeper level I'm indeed holding on to the feeling. Ultimately it's the feeling. Thank you. ❤🙏🏼

[@missl6517]

Woooooooooow I just love you Susan, this is the best advice ever! I have been really struggling but I think after hearing this things will get better. I've been crying randomly when thinking about this person

[@noragoodman9241]

I have the snap shot of him telling me when we were in an argument while I was feeling insecure because we got married while he needed the Green Card to stay in the USA. (I was afraid he was going to use me) It took me over a year to finally trust and believe him enough to marry him.) The snapshot that I have is of him sitting in front of me crying and pleading his love. Which only lasted until he got his green card and now he is gone. So his love was only based on a short time until he got what he wanted from me. While my snapshot was for a life time. :(

[@SusanWinter]

Nora, I am so sorry. You're not the first person to experience this green card dilemma. I'm sure you were warned by people as to the fact that this profile is always under suspicion. But we tend to listen to our heart and not others in cases like this. And he did a good job of convincing you of what you wanted to believe. Again, I am so sorry for this betrayal of your trust.

[@diannalund7948]

Nora Goodman

[@philyip4432]

Nora Goodman Can't you get a divorce ? And the state department will then revoke his green card. I am so sorry that you had to experience such unconscionable betrayal!

[@catlady715]

I'm so sorry this happened to you Nora. I hope things are better for you now. There is nothing worse than being used. Believe me, I know.

[@Zoeee93]

Oh my God.. I hate those men they not only betray u but betray their wives/gfs beck home for this.. God will never forgive them.

[@littlemissy8356]

Brillant deduction. I did not think of that.

[@annettemccall6453]

Thank you, I needed that. So sad and my crush found a girl. Broke my heart. Realized I'm just lonely and he just offered me hope. Still stings tho

[@oscarwilliamson1128]

Annette McCall,You look gorgeous ❤,You only need a good man 👨 in your life…..

[@ironclad452]

Thank you. I will use this technique. And when I extracted the person from the picture and focused on the feeling, I had an easier time realizing that there's plenty of room in that picture for another person to come in. I'll get over her AND I'll feel that bliss again!

[@IntGalGamingAndMusicClan]

I believe that men are more likely to have regrets about break ups or divorces and not mourn as emotionally so early at the end of a relationship than women do. This video can help me and other people. Thank you, Ms. Susan Winters.....!!!

[@Angelica-bt4hh]

This was GREAT advice!! Thanks again for another great video Susan.

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks for the lovely feedback, Angelica. I really appreciate your kind words. All the best! Susan

[@garychaplin3230]

Outstanding advice !

[@ThatzMzMJ]

Thank you so much for this. I listen to quite a few videos under this category and honestly I think this is the best advice that has truly spoken f me. Your videos are truly helpful.

[@rebeccajones8628]

Still suffering. I am in serious withdrawal...

[@aissagaby8556]

This one is so great! I've never heard/read of it! And when I did the thing mentally while you were speaking, eventhough I've almost completely moved on, it made me cry. So it's powerful. Thank you for sharing your videos.

[@philyip4432]

Wow ! Susan , you are so right on , on everything ! I am sure you have helped thousands of people already , thank you ! You really are the best !

[@nataliamorales2290]

Wow thank you so much, Susan. This makes so much sense, great opportunity to develop more emotional intelligence from this.

[@chanabrown1016]

Wow. Total different perspective but spot on. We fell in love with the monent

[@diggarcia5190]

I will try it. At times I think I am over him, I am no longer teary. I talk about finding someone new. But I do have moments of sadness and even dream about reuniting. I have not moved on. I will try this. I do want to love again. He isn't coming back, he left for another.

[@rondone8702]

Moving slowly and forward in the right direction is knowing where you been so you don't cross that bridge again that wasn't stable the first time thanks for helping others and hopefully it's helping yourself at the same time of giving could directions of how to be a more centered person of your own life

[@Vitime111]

This is so true. I have been trying to move on from my ex over a year and I could not. I was doing better each day but not fully over. This is the last piece of the jigsaws that I need to do. I cried so much but it’s help. Yes, I was the only one who wanted it. Thanks so much. You had help me big time. I’m getting there. This information is so helpful for me.

[@wolfmanexperience9113]

[phone]💞⏯⏯⏯⏯

[@quattron-1126]

How you don’t have one million subscribers it’s beyond me!

[@emerald4660]

It's so true.. I was caught in the moment, he was my link to my past, dated him years ago since then I've moved to another country.. And he hasn't moved on at all, still full of the patter and he is nearly 60 acting like a man child. Thank you so much for this video ❤️

[@munirahmad9917]

Beautifully put. Love from Toronto, Canada 🇨🇦

[@cashtaylor9804]

Excellent! I believe you've just unlocked something I have dealt with for about for 3yrs, TY!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks Cash!

[@xVioletx11]

We were sitting in the back of my car because we wanted to be closer to each other. I was playing with his hair and he was just looking at me, smiling. I’ve ever felt so loved. I can’t forget about it. I let down so many boundaries for him. I miss him like hell, and even more so, I’m so upset that it didn’t work out. He seemed perfect. But you’re sooooo right. I need that feeling, not him.

[@Mushokabanji]

Alli / denise what happens? Why did you break up?

[@shaggydogj]

Than you Susan. After three years you have advice no else has been able to explain to me. Starting to get it. Starting to move on.

[@sweetsage198]

You're so gifted. God bless you

[@Sabadiver]

absolutely incredible, makes so much sense, genius!!!

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you Richard!!!

[@antoniopotter9807]

Thank you Susan this video just helped me level up and mature on an emotional level. Your awsome

[@merme2150]

You are awesome Susan! Thank you.

[@SusanWinter]

Awwww. Love this. Thank you Merela.

[@evelynfrederick]

My God. Your wisdom is incredible

[@sabinastadler]

Profound theory. Subject in the frame

[@monica4141]

You are so right, I remember the snapshot as if it was a second ago. I now realise that I was in love with the feeling. I’ve been badly wounded before and this was the first time my hart was feeling love again but I can see clearly now it wasn’t the person but the way I felt. Thank you for showing me this. I’m happy I’m still able to feel love and have faith I will meet a good guy again one day.

[@truth322]

he was a 'walk on character' in my life..not vice versa👌

[@peeledpapayas3712]

Cannot express how relieving it is to hear this. This has really helped me... from the bottom of my heart, thank you 😊

[@mohamadrahmani4675]

you are an incredible mentor. love your words and how professional you are. love and respect from Iran.

[@bonniea3426]

Just new to your videos i think you are really good and positive in what you say just been ghosted by a guy i was seeing for few weeks and felt awful but you have made me feel positive again thankyou.

[@SusanWinter]

That's the thing I love to hear! Making you feel better (while delivering information) is the goal. Thanks for your note, Karen.

[@GMH9765]

I have SOOOO many pictures with him in those amazing moments.....

[@lucky.lucy44]

Same I deleted them (not all) but I still have them in my head!!!

[@trudyramgren3379]

Thank you, thank you Susan!!! This clarifies for me why i was so stuck on him!!! It's over now . . 😁

[@PrincessBabyAqua]

Thank you so much ❤️🤍