you might die alone and that's okay

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today we're discussing my favorite topic, love! a lot of us are unhealthily addicted to romance and wanting to be in a relationship and it's holding you back from living your life! it can make you feel insecure, ruin your already existing relationships, stop you from appreciating what you DO have, and pull you out of the present. there's sm more to life than just being in a relationship and let's talk about it !!! let me know any of your thoughts in the comments :)
lots of love,
dustin
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sub count: 522K

[@alvaroroberto2879]

next vid: guys im dating someone

[@nessi3026]

😂😂😂😂

[@O_Ciel_Phant0mhive]

don't jinx it lol he had a point

[@komiamenam3650]

LOL 😂😂😂😂 this is so truuuuue

[@ceanjohn7290]

fr fr fr 😂

[@mxgickm]

peak comedy 😂 this was funny

[@thisismetrying.9]

NO CAUSE thinking about meeting the love of your life in a hospital is SO relatable lol😭 it's literally me every time in a subway, in a cafe.... etc etc🥲

[@jigglejigglepoppop1392]

I related to that bit SOO much

[@rainajanai]

being jealous of friends is so extremely real

[@bariton3779]

I used to be in this position, then got into a relationship and have some serious advice; the obsession cannot continue into the relationship!! If you stop obsessing over love, stop it entirely. Obsession in the relationship leads to horrible expectations that ruin the love that actually is there, because you are so blinded by what that love 'should' look like!

[@Jo-gk3ew]

that's such a good point, thanks for sharing!

[@maunochromatic]

bro why is he telling me my future & how to cope w it at the same time 😭

[@emmacraig8964]

I remember hearing Jonathan Decker (licensed therapist from Cinema Therapy here on KZbin) say something that changed my outlook. He said he also wanted to find love very badly, but one day he developed the mindset of, “If I remain single, I will be okay.” and it made me think of how I could be able to live a happy life if I never received love. And I’ve been able to live a more fulfilled life because of it. :) of course I still want to find my person, but I am going to be okay if not.

[@tatiana1310]

That is so powerful, thank you for sharing those words, I want to truly embrace this idea, I believe telling ourselves "someone will eventually come" is not healthy. I believe what you said is better, maybe we won't find love in this life but that does not make a life not worth being lived, it is what you do with your time on this Earth that does

[@annaleapfrog]

I really needed to hear that. Thank you

[@vendy6952]

i feel the same, romantic love is something i always wanted and i was trying sooo hard to find it but i always felt like i wasn’t pretty enough or loveble enough but now i feel enough and i don’t really seek romantic love anymore. I realized it’s not the thing that makes life LIFE

[@crystalmaghoney4925]

me watching this eating alone in a sandwich shop

[@christineonwubiko7499]

Lol I don’t know why but this comment is really funny to me thank you for the laugh

[@Nina-ko3hv]

What kind is it

[@Kaicenatohiogyatskibidisigmer]

⁠@@Nina-ko3hvsandwich or sandwich shop

[@crystalmaghoney4925]

@@Nina-ko3hv philly cheesesteak 🤌

[@beomgie8559]

Samee

[@smolson8471]

I don’t really have many friends. The friends I do have are barely more than acquaintance. I’m autistic and have always struggled to maintain connections, I think that’s part of why I’ve always idealized the idea of romantic love. Because if someone is pulled by some invisible force to have butterflies around me, then I don’t have to work so hard to try to give them a reason to stay around. But I’m trying to let go of that idea because like you it makes me a bit miserable. I’m glad you appreciate the friends you do have! So many people have a hard time seeing how much of a blessing it is to have good friends

[@thestxnedbisexual]

i never realized i might’ve also had “jealousy barriers” before until now. damn. i need to do some reflecting 😭

[@ayshah5373]

Not me giving myself the same pep talk in the shower just when this video was uploaded 💀

[@serenediipity]

i once heard someone say nothing hurts like being in 0 relationships in the same timespan that someone else goes through 2-3 relationships. even if they're each really short relationships it still shows that other people somehow manage to just fall into relationships. currently 22 and have never kissed anyone but every person that i'm attracted to is already taken so at this point i'm just going with the flow the best i can being solo

[@BigbuggedBltch]

I’m in a similar situation but 20 not 22. It’s hard especially when you crave that romantic attention so I get it. This sounds a bit weird but just know you’re not alone and a lot of people experience romance later in life despite societal expectations. Societal expectations suck in general so don’t listen to them regardless lol. But you’ll find somebody, I promise. I like to think that the reason I’ve never been in a relationship is because it wasn’t meant to be. So while I’m waiting for my person, I can work on myself so I can give partner the best version of me. Being single isn’t something to be ashamed of, it’s the perfect time to sink into yourself.

[@Diana-kv8lf]

YES!! I’m a happily single 30 y/o lady who have been in 2 relationships and what I realised when i got out of those relationships is that maybe dating/having partner isnt for me. Society has made it somewhat “the norm” for you to have a partner and at a point i think we’ve fell into that pressure to have a partner because its the “normal thing” to do. And yes I AGREE the sentence “love comes to you when you least expect it” is so annoying bcs THE PEOPLE WHO SAY IT IS ALWAYS THE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP. And its sad how these people always relate that quote to having a partner. When i got out of my relationship when i was 26, i finally stopped caring about finding a partner and i have no longer have expectation for it anymore and what it has made me realised is how loved i am by my family and friends. Theres nothing wrong with that quote (“love comes when you least expect it”) but whats annoying is that the people who says it are those who are in a relationship and only expect it to relate with having a romantic partner. When i have no more expectation for it, i finally realised the people around me have showered me with so much love. Human yearn for community and i think as long you have that, then i think you’ll be fine. After all, (a reality check) regardless we’re in a relationship or not, we’ll get buried alone 😅 it aint like our s/o will be buried in the same vessel as we are so 🤷🏻‍♀️ To make it short, YOLO and do what makes u happy. Happiness is subjective so never compare yourself with other people’s happiness!

[@ninaj3662]

As an asexual, thank you for this video❤ I’ve been coming to terms with it and I relate heavily to what you said. It’s hard because I’m grieving a life I thought I would have. I’m not where I thought I’d be in my late 20s but I want to become okay with it and just focus on my platonic relationships because they mean so much to me. I hope to have your mindset one day!

[@alsimanche]

Are you both ace and aro?

[@ninaj3662]

@@alsimancheI might be, I don’t really know. Still trying to figure things out! I’ve always felt like a romantic person but more in my head rather than in real life if that makes sense

[@Alicia_257]

@@ninaj3662Same! Kinda grieving this hypothetical life right now but at the same time i‘d still like to have some sort of a partner in life. Also i’m an only child so the concept of ‚dying alone‘ is really scary!😂

[@kieramei]

Dustin stop calling me out with every sit down & chat video

[@EmileeBrewer-lm9oe]

Your friends and family must be so thankful for you, you sound like you appreciate and value them so much

[@pengu5148]

When you hit rock bottom you realize that what you have is enough to be happy. The thought of losing your friends or family and being alone is probably worse than not having a romantic partner. Of course I would be sad if my crush didn’t like me back but I realized there’s more to life than relationships. I mean there are ppl who are in relationships that aren’t happy and think their life sucks so I guess it’s a grass looks greener on the other side situation. I’m glad Dustin is making these types of videos bc I relate to it so much and think about this a lot ❤ loved ur video👍

[@allasapegina8119]

I want to thank you for this video, because I've been thinking about romantic love and romance like every day?? and it makes me feel so miserable and depressed, because I am not in a relationship. it really takes a lot of energy, especially when you start overthink about everything, question your life... it's so frustrating. I am so glad there's someone who feels the same, and I absolutely like your mind set. thank you a lot!

[@alsimanche]

Lol i relate to this a lot,, but boy wait until you hit your late twenties, or thirties or forties and you'll see everyone around you has settled, getting married and having kids, and you'll start feeling miserable again and start obsessing over it, and thinking why can't i experience the same thing as other people?, But for me, one thing i realized based on my observation is that very few people are getting married for love,most of them just do it because of social pressure, and i don't want be one of those people who decided to be in a relationship or get married for the wrong reason

[@chunulimboo8216]

Agree

[@vtsn.elessa]

It's the first time I've heard someone say exactly what I've been talking about for so long. I've been thinking about everything you said lately. I never thought there would be a person who would think the same things as me and it's crazy to think that somewhere in the world someone thinks the same way and you have no idea, so you feel alone in this. My friends always tell me how beautiful I am and for a long time I couldn't understand why no one showed interest in me since I was "so beautiful" and it was very exhausting, the overthinking. The way you think is comforting.

[@koojeans]

THE ABSOLUTE TIMING OF THIS VIDEO!! I used to be so antisocial and refused to participate in life and was so unhealthily obsessed with romantic love that it ruined some friendships. But now I'm 27 with a fully developed frontal lobe and just want to socialize with everyone, start conversations with strangers anywhere, anytime. Stopped seeking external validation when I started to seek the core of my own being and healing my inner child. atp I just want to be the rich, single aunt 😂

[@no-xz1vw]

tw sa and trauma dump: . . . . . . . . i grew up very conservative, i'm a woman, i was told i need a husband, a house, car and 2 kids to have a perfect life. because of that and because my parents never loved me, i was obsessed with finding love somewhere else. long story short: i was abused. multiple times, i was graped but also mentally abused over years by my partners (and also friends somehow lol). i justified it all. i tried to find excuses on why it's ok, not because i feared being alone, but i feared not being "loved". none of this was love. after my last abuse i stayed single for 5+ years and these 5 years where the best years of my life. yes, you sometimes miss human touch, but i'd rather be the loneliest person alive than ever going through abuse ever again. it's not worth it. choose your partner wisely, don't take shit from people and listen to their red flags. do NOT ignore their red flags ever. REAL love will find you when you least expect it, not when you search for it in random people.

[@smolson8471]

I’m so so sorry you had to go through that and am proud of you for getting to a better place now

[@MickeyRaySinghell]

I genuinely think that like the media's representation of people like meeting someone at a bar or club or places like that is wayyyy overblown compared to the general experience of people irl. I'm not saying it never happens, but I do think that, especially with the rise of dating apps and social media, it doesn't happen as much as we may think it does. And I do think that making that a specific goal for yourself - to go out and "find someone" - is ultimately harmful. It sets you up for disappointment and even potentially toxic/otherwise less than relationships or encounters. As someone who has gone through that exact process and done all those same things, I'm so happy to see you not only discussing it, but also your growth from it! I've experienced a similar transition, and guess what? I've made so many new friends, met so many interesting people, and experienced so many cool things because I was going out places with the goal of having fun without the demand of meeting someone for that purpose. I'm still single, but I'm happy, more confident, and I'm having a lot more fun. I've even had people coming up to me randomly to give me complements or trying to make friends with me!

[@zahrazia8226]

kinda weird but it's giving the same energy as when Omar Suleiman said "romance is like rizq" and not everyone will experience it in this life ...but then again there's some sort of peace in knowing it's out of your control. if you're meant to find it, you will.

[@hibahahmed8322]

cant wait till i can fully internalize this mindset for myself ... thank you dustin 😭

[@Nina-ko3hv]

Ever since high school, every semester I've known myself to have the habit of always coming home sad or even crying because no guy talked to me on the first day. Romance was always on my mind! Fast-forward to university, after I found my last crush & my classmate (all 3 of us we're in the same class) walking & talking OUTSIDE of class, I had a reallyyy good cry and swore to myself that I'll be focusing on staying single because I was so over putting in a lot of energy for nothing in the end. Now, I'm proud to say that in my new class this week, this was the first time in YEARS that I didn't go home sad that no guy striked up a convo with me.

[@AndreaDiaz-rc3iy]

So proud of u❤

[@nino2190]

I don’t think I’ll ever get into a relationship due to past experiences and family issues. I used to be really sad about but now I’ve just accepted it. I’ve realised that I shouldn’t depend on someone else to make ME feel happy. I should make myself happy. I’m back to doing my old hobbies such as drawing, painting, editing videos ect. instead of spending my time on dating apps/wondering why no one wants me. I’m keeping myself busy with education, being creative, being optimistic and appreciating the company of my friends/family.

[@thestxnedbisexual]

sitting on my balcony smoking a j when this hit and i laughed so hard at the title i woke my neighbors 😭😭

[@glitteryreen3908]

this entire video speaks about me and what i went thro with the mindset shift lately and everything ! u r just talking on behalf of me omg i dont fear dying alone anymore after this mindset shift i had, what i fear now is being so focused on this aspect of my life and other stupid thing and not living the moment before dying

[@im_just_vidu]

10 days ago I wasn't mentally prepared to watch this when the notification popped, so I just added it to the "Watch later" pile. And here I am again cuz it's okay to die alone

[@rdiostr]

you might die alone is diabolical

[@loaf.doodles]

I recently got out of a six year long relationship so I honestly appreciate this video a lot. I thought the life I envisioned was ending with the relationship but I now realize it’s just more of a opportunity for a new and better one.💕✨

[@pixelzebra8440]

They’ve tried to make algorithms to even try to predict who a person’s crush will be and it is totally unpredictable lol

[@CashPaper416]

You're getting a bit too real for me this afternoon... But I can really relate, and it's really comforting hearing someone validate what I've been feeling.

[@in.themeantime.]

just retook the sat, felt a little bad, this made my whole day better

[@elisabethmcnary7194]

video hasnt even started and hes spitting facts

[@michaelbcochran]

You’re super cute, well put together, articulate, intelligent, and seem like a lot of fun. Not sure what’s going on. I would think you have LOTS of opportunities.

[@lklover68]

REAL REAL REALLLL I used to get so jealous and feel worthless when we would go out and my friends would get hit on a ton of times and I wouldn't... when I stopped comparing myself and started realizing that everyone is different and that's what makes life beautiful I started becoming happier

[@anoosha.u7511]

Yea same, but sometimes I feel like it's not even about fulfilling ur needs to be loved romantically but just to be seen. I be scanning the room, looking for a friend lol anyone who might be interested in getting to know me. It never happens naturally tho, starting to loose hope, it makes u feel invisible like a veil has been cast upon u since the moment u came into this world.

[@smolson8471]

THIS! At this point romantic love would just be an avenue for me to get what I really want. Which is to feel seen and have a deep connection with someone. The cuddles/kissing would just be a bonus

[@chuucake]

no words , just dustin ♡♡♡

[@carla6485]

Literally the only youtuber that i like to listen to on this topic because u don't deny that you were looking for love compulsively (like me and many others). Ppl act like being content with being single isn't somehing you work on and comes with time and experience. Also, being single isn't this ideal girlboss, hotgirl thing where just because u're single immediately you love urself more. Learning to love myself has come by realizing that eventhough i haven't recieved appreciation from a significant other, i recieve love from as u said, friends and family that truly see me 4 me. But it took years to realize that, and sometimes i still need reminders and I'm okay and happy with that.

[@dinalist1864]

Great video, like the idea! I think it's just to some extend normal to be a little obsessed with love. I think you just need to find a good mix between wanting a partner and then also knowing that you are the love of your life and don't NEED anyone. (want, not need) Best relationship advice Ive ever gotten is to write a list you want your partner to be and then be that list.

[@dustinvuong]

oo i like that! i’ma make a list

[@onigirifortoge]

hey dustin, watching your videos has helped me feel like i'm not alone in my experiences and has helped me feel comfortable in my own skin - and i'd have to disagree w/ whoever said that you're regurgitating the same things !! your takes on love carry different nuances as time passes and i love how they reflect your personal growth. thanks for sharing with us 🫶🏻

[@gabkiu]

this mindset is genuinely so eye opening !!! thank u for all that u do

[@copyloui]

something I did earlier this year was deleting social media, I used to feel so lonely when I saw a cute couples or saw posts from my friends who are in a relationship, also all the "advice" that's out there about who you should be or do in order to get a partner is so bad there's so much expectations and that made me feel not worthy of dating because I didn't check all the boxes people online talk about, being away from that conversation really helps to feel less pressure and you get to discover who you are and what you actually like, so I would recommend to anyone reading to take a step back, delete all social media platforms and just breathe

[@strwbrrysanhwa3060]

this popped up on my home page as im going thru a breakup that feels impossible and is taking a huge toll on me; i've been binge watching your vids for comfort, as it's one of the only things that can give me hope atm and i really needed this. thank you

[@aloquicious]

I agree with you. You don't have to fall in love to have a fulfilling life.

[@monyroath]

I was in a situationship with this one guy for months just for him to ghost after being mad for stupid reasons so I pretend this is me in a therapy session

[@crescentflower444]

ive been obsessing abt it even more recently n i caught myself n started being like ‘dont even think abt it’s so im rlly glad u uploaded this

[@dorothytran2926]

So dang relatable. I’m single asf and feeling desperate just to feel something good. I think I’m obsessed with love too when I shouldn’t be. Thx a lot Dustin. You’re right we should be grateful for the love we already receive rather than feel disappointed when romantic love doesn’t happen.

[@Sammy02031]

I just came here running as soon as I saw the notification 😭 can't miss a dustin upload ❤

[@lilcbftima]

Honestly i really enjoy watching you grow through the video essays you create from time to time.

[@isaacgross9346]

I think you could have made a better point by saying you're okay with dying without a romantic partner. Because the way i see it if I am surrounded by great friends and chosen family then how could I possibly die alone? I think you have a valid point but framing it by saying you'll die alone without a romantic partner is further fulling the obsession with romance. Your statement implies that dying without a romantic partner is dying alone further exacerbating the issue you want to address. Just some of my thoughts.

[@mariahmorgan9284]

Exactly

[@dustinvuong]

I think I clearly state in the video that romantic love isn’t needed because we have friends, family, memories, and other fulfilling things in life ! when i said “technically we die alone” i mean physically hahaha but also keep in mind it’s just more of a catchy title

[@isaacgross9346]

My point still stands that using the title you did use does a disservice to your argument. I would have enjoyed the video more if you had used a different title. That is my opinion though.

[@isaacgross9346]

Overall I love the point you’re making! I also try to live a life less obsessed with romantic love:) Just giving my critique on the presentation of the point you made:)

[@rainajanai]

i needed this sm, i desperately need togo through a mindset shift when it comes to love

[@DrawYouIO]

wow that's funny how I had the exact same thought process, like end of last year ? And now I am doing much better with that mindset. Thanks for sharing, it was nice to hear all this from someone else

[@vendy6952]

bro the burp GOT ME LMAO

[@kkcomekai]

grateful to have seen the evolution of all the talk videos where you've shared your experiences, perspective and opinion about love in general!! i feel like there's something so deep and genuine in listening to somebody else (besides yourself ahaha) talking about such vast and genuine topics. i also appreciate a lot your amazing ability to manage and express clearly your emotions! keep it up and take care dustin!!💞🌟

[@youyouccr3696]

You're really a safe space I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤ ty so much Dustin 🥹

[@tiffanychin03]

totally agree with this, i think once we start actively "searching for love" it inevitably leads to exhaustion and disappointment. spent way too much time browsing dating apps and feeling disappointed when people on there don't fit my idealized "soulmate" lol. focusing on yourself, your hobbies, the loved ones around you is so much more important and if romantic love comes your way, great!! but it also won't complete you, and you shouldn't expect it to

[@diana-semmel]

why are you so me? but you're spilling facts

[@blackmoon5000]

I could listen to you rambling for hours. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! :)

[@laisalabidvlog9890]

i just love the way dustin views things, it makes me feel so seen anyways love your videos

[@user-dt3jd5cm2h]

I'm happy you've come to this realization because I totally understand you!!! We live in a world were everything is about love (romantic love), to the point of becoming overwhelming, listening in songs, watching it on Tv or real life, with family members always asking.. And yeah, thinking to much about it limits you from enjoying moments with friends and, as you said, just having conversations with another human being without romantic intentions, that has become so rare I'm still working on going with the flow and not expecting love every minute of my day. I'll work on thinking I will die alone Thanks for the video!! ✨✨

[@mushroomcactus6617]

2:40 this is literally me.. Haven't gone any further into the video than this yet, but just wanted to say how happy I am someone is making a video discussing this topic. About a month ago I realized how focused I've been on finding love/my "soulmate" for YEARS and how it's been detrimental to my energy (physically & mentally) and contributed to so much pain & sadness. Also realized that so much media is centered around romance.. movies, music, etc. So, I've decided I'm going to go on a "romance detox" - eliminating content from my life that has to do with romance/relationships, and learning how to be comfortable with just living life regardless of relationship status.

[@ari.annngel]

I swear your videos always come out at such a good time for me. Literally a few months ago I decided that I won't obsess over love anymore and made peace with myself. I had suddenly developed a crush on my girl friend mostly out of a need for validation and comfort, worked up the courage to confess to her and ended being respectfully rejected. It was rough but I realized I value my friendship with her much more and would prefer maintaining a friendship than mope over not being able to get into a relationship then grow apart. I'm now very comfortable being on my own and appreciate the relationships with my parents and friends so much more. I'm no longer dependent on others to feel comfortable in my own skin and I experience life much more fully now. I also realized that love comes in so many forms and I'm way more open to experiencing all of it if I get the chance. Whatever comfort I thought I could've found in a lover I can just seek that out in a friend or in myself. You basically perfectly summed up all the emotional roller coasters I went through in my last school year. Also I just graduated high school woohooooo

[@heyarinslife]

Love when you are ready not when you are lonely.

[@AK-rr4on]

I can relate so much to the scaning of the room and always thinking I am going to meet the love of my life behind every corner. I'm quite a selfaware person, but this really showed me a completely new perspective for this topic. Thank you so much for this video.❤

[@turboquack95]

I spent most of my 20s obsessing over dating and relationships and was also a late bloomer. I was closed off to making any sort of connections unless it was romantic. Now at almost 30 and with more relationship experience, I’m open to just having pure human interactions with others regardless if it’s romantic or not. It’s led to me making new friends which is great! I feel more present and happier in life now.

[@theholyminion_]

I think we all get to this point eventually... it's exhausting being so obsessed with romantic love. At this point, I genuinely feel like if it happens, great! If not, that's also great! I'm not stressing about it anymore. Also, I love how you talk about your friends, it's clear you care deeply for and about them! 15:29 Personally, I believe in monogamy and I can't wrap my head around why, or how, open relationships and polyamorous relationships work, that being said I come from a culture where polygamy has been a thing/sometimes still is. But I feel like these also stem from the societal obsession with romantic relationships such that the person/people involved would rather have multiple at a time instead of one... All in all, KZbin randomly recommended this video to me, and I really really enjoyed it. I found it relatable and thought-provoking! 💕

[@krucil8390]

the most relatable one!! and honestly same, sometimes people can't accept that there are chances where some might die alone and experience none of romantic love

[@serenacd123]

usually the word is polyamory rather than polygamy, polygamy as a term tends to describe ultra-conservative religious cults where men have five wives (the more you know!)

[@maryseptihet]

actually they do mean two completely different things: in polygamy, one person has multiple partners, whereas, in polyamory, both the partners are allowed to take multiple lovers or one lover polygamous relationships also tend to be marriages (i.e. within mormonism) and polyamory is more of a postmodernist open relationship :)

[@callie.envoyage]

Dustin you will go through cycles of this as long as you are single.. it's something that comes in waves. I'm glad you've found peace and independence. Hold onto it! You are great.

[@ophelietumblr]

Taylor is filling my void it's ok.

[@vivianl6906]

Dustin thank you for being so real!! It’s not easy to share such a vulnerable side of yourself especially on the internet so I just wanted to say that you’re so real for this ❤

[@JuneKafaltiya]

I relate to all video eassy Dustin do to so much, I think this thing applies to many things like the way we look, feeling like the different/odd one or not finding love

[@Mtv20O1]

I use to be “obsessed” with love when I was in high school but I do think being in high school and watching your peers get into relationships added to it. I saw my friends and everyone around get into their first relationships and I was pinged with slight jealousy. I was never the one chosen. Now as I’m older I don’t have that “obsession” over it. It lasted until I was about 22 but I’m just living life now. I personally do not want marriage. I would not mind if I spend my life with a partner but I’m not actively seeking it. If it happens, it happens. Love is amazing but there are so many facets of it aside from romantic love (friendship, family, passions, etc).

[@monocoloured]

I really needed this video essay today, you are my hero for today Dustin

[@llosam]

ugh scanning the room is so relatable- it took me a while to get rid of that habit

[@jamar344]

Once again I'm in the same mental place as the subject of your video😆. I have also found my own way of being okay with being alone and even loving it. I literally just went out for the first day of pride without a care in the world! I've realized I can still achieve the things I want and be the person I want to be without a romantic relationship. If it comes great! If not then I'm gucci. Much love, Dustin

[@itzbreanna1153]

No one talks about how this is even harder to achieve after you've fallen DEEPLY in love with someone and they shatter your heart and you're left with this yearning for a partner. Instead of focusing energy on finding someone to help "fill that void" it's helped me a lot personally to focus that energy in loving myself and enjoying being in the moment :)

[@beaboy777]

This new mindset is indirectly going to manifest u a relationship baby. Enjoy being single for now!!!

[@elielioo]

watching this whilst in the depths of despair rn

[@MRRYAN0091]

I think your pretty awesome and your insight was very informative. 🙂

[@asldoganay9090]

exactly when I needed it, thank you dustin

[@jordansiarya762]

the timing of this video 😭

[@artscreen5213]

yes yes yes!! its called amatanormativity; basically the idea that everyone should follow the "ideal" life path of being in a monogamous heterosexual relationship and have kids

[@annet04]

omg hi dustin! I'm a bit early for this one and i can't wait to watch the full video but yess, I love these video essays of yours! the sit-and-chat kind of videos have a special place in my heart

[@lisa-rv6ue]

I was watching an edit of jim and pam, and thinking about how i am never gonna find that kind of love. Thinking about how I have been in one sided love my whole life. Only to stumble upon this video. Thankyou dustin

[@ivy5554]

After a failed decade long relationship and seeing how most other people I know that are in relationships treat each other, and just my own baggage I have zero interest in being in a relationship again anytime soon (if ever) lol. You are 1000% right that we love the idea of love, but I think as a society we're also not taught what a truly healthy relationship looks like or how to recognize red flags and actually be a healthy partner. It takes both experience and self-reflection, which many people are not capable of. Hindsight is 20/20 and I feel like there would be so many healthier relationships if people knew how to be happy alone and didn't chase always being with someone.

[@O_Ciel_Phant0mhive]

this is very real. I am also a hopeless romantic but every time I thought of love it hurt me because I was always upset I never felt it truly. The funny thing was that when I was at my happiest, just doing my own thing, society would always find a way to shove the idea of love in my throat and tell me why I need it. Long story short, I'm still working on my being happy alone journey and I have come a long way. I don't feel as miserable as I used to lol now, when I think of what I want out of life before I die, it is just to travel. Sounds like a dream!

[@jabbersjay6871]

I’m glad someone is being honest abt it

[@isabellaanderson4541]

loved this!! i really wanna work towards not yearning for romantic love, feels so tricky to decentre after so many years. feel free to make more content on specific steps ppl could take to achieve this :)) really interesting and helpful thank you Dustin

[@domagojsertic8697]

It's also that people don't like people who are searching for it. People are usually drawn to others who are "in their lane" and seemingly ignoring love

[@kyaroru5530]

You are my comfort youtuberr fr ! love listening ur videos while doing work :))

[@disallusionment4449]

I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum and also wlw so the thought of dating is so daunting to me. I would love to have a lifelong partner but alot of people really value sexual intimacy. Right now i have s lot of friends that care about me and vice versa so its not much of a problem, but after college, im going to have to date. Theres not much of us (asexuals) so i might actually die alone too!! Idk theres other ways to be fulfilled in life so i wont worry about it too much. It is what it is!!

[@kyryl.dls24]

dustin why did u upload this at the perfect time i love u 😭❤️

[@lklover68]

YES YES YES I always say if my life was quantified by spheres of like "social," "work," "family," "health," etc, I would have it all BUT the romantic love / dating section. so so real feeling like everything else is good but if I'm missing this one thing everything else sucks

[@bowloferic]

i see what people are trying to get at when they say that you talk about the same thing in every chatty video (love) but i don't agree because i feel like with every video your opinion on the topic becomes more nuanced and that's why i will watch every one of these!

[@brendaoro2951]

I have an abusive family and I was dying of an MS episode I swear to God I would love to die alone

[@breadheir]

this video is so TEAAa