EFAP Movies #61: Kingdom of Heaven - The War Arc Enters The Crusades!

The attention to guys with swords has no turned to yet another Orlando Bloom epic about war and such, let us crusade BOIS!
Edited by Goger
Re-edited for copyright and tweaks by MauLer (YT is a wonderful awesome thing)

[@petery6432]

Sargon of Akkad complaining about Orlando Bloom's acting is the only thing that brings me joy in life.

[@Сайтамен]

He wasn't that bad.

[@STTPMASFTNE]

Bloom is actually very good in Kingdom of Heaven.

[@lordofthepizzapie9319]

@@STTPMASFTNE His amazing range of 🗿 to🗿really blew me away

[@STTPMASFTNE]

I agree!

[@xbouxix]

funny af, he never give him a break

[@doopdoopdopdop7424]

Training from Liam Neeson results in: Knighthood (a few minutes) Batman (a montage) Jedi Knighthood (a lifetime, offscreen)

[@corruptangel6793]

You mean Liam Neeson?

[@thehermitman822]

I used to be a KnightBatJed like you but then I took an arrow in the Neeson.

[@Chris-dy9gw]

So did everybody just forget Rob Roy? Because seeing what he did to Timothy Roth in that flic is something I will never forget

[@damselle]

You forgot the most important one: Becoming the monarchs of a fantasy land full of furries who don't understand what a spare room is.

[@doopdoopdopdop7424]

@@Chris-dy9gw No it’s just that Rob Roy’s still on my list of things to watch. :3

[@heikira438]

I'm so excited. Mauler did hint that they slowly start to realize Orlando Bloom is not a good actor throughout the War Arch.

[@vissermatt1058]

i think he ran into a weird scenario where he was not being themed well, and just ended up inbetween multiple character archetypes. kinda in a reverse style of the plank of wood nowadays, except it ends up looking just as bad

[@jackbauer5229]

I'm hyped for the Pirates arc more than the guy who wants long kong

[@proudsaiyanprince2651]

@@jackbauer5229no Long Kong better

[@sardoniclysane]

@@proudsaiyanprince2651all hail long Kong, chosen of the Don.

[@b.chaline4394]

He needs someone at his side, i.e. a more experienced performer, to light him up. He works well alongside Viggo Mortensen, Johnny Depp or even Eric Bana. Hell, the best performance I've ever seen him give was that South African crime movie he did with Forest Withaker and he was the lead in that one, not FW! So he can be leading material! But Ridley Scott isn't known as an actors' director, and poor Orlando was clearly left on his own with a dull, overly long script that keeps meandering and gives him nothing. He feels awkward throughout the whole thing.

[@QuatrinaVR]

“I mean, what’s the problem with his acting?” “The acting”

[@christopherkelley1664]

What acting?

[@Jasper_Silva]

There can't be a problem if there's no acting. 😉👈

[@aqua96870]

This week, I finally showed my best friend the extended Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and he loved it so much we watched the last six hours in one sitting. Then the next day he told me how great season 2 of Halo is 💀

[@SumDumGy]

😂😂😂😂

[@greatclubsandwich5612]

The duality of Man...

[@DbonnRP]

get a new friend

[@derpynerdy6294]

​@@DbonnRPjust cause he has a different taste doesn't mean you need to find a new one. You're terrible in the first place

[@ImperatorIke573]

Color me super excited. I took multiple Medieval Europe courses for my master's, specialized in Classical World like Ancient Rome, Greece, and Mesopotamia, took courses on the Middle East and Islamic empires, and in my senior year Crusades course we watched this movie at the end of Finals and critiqued it for its historic absurdity. In other words: I've been looking forward to this.

[@shamboholic]

Ironically your education in this space probably took less time than getting this from recording to premiere

[@finchvalor]

I’ve not seen this movie before, but before even watching just based on my knowledge of history and the context clues I’m assuming this is going to be yet another in a very long line of “look how moral the Muslims are and how evil the west is”?

[@culturalliberator9425]

Yeah. The plot is unironically trash. It's really baffling. The fight scenes would be good in another movie though.

[@SumDumGy]

@@finchvalorNot this time. This film takes a very balanced stance on both sides and I respect that.

[@ImperatorIke573]

@@SumDumGy No, this movie was heavily criticized by the historic community for its pro-Muslim sentiments. It consistently portrays the Europeans as marble-brained barbarians while the Muslims under Salah Al-Din are consistently portrayed as paragons of virtue and martial honor. Both depictions are wrong, and this film absolutely does not take a balanced stance for both sides.

[@godjam4]

Orlando Bloom being the lone survivor of a shipwreck is because he's such a wooden actor. Heh.

[@Dusk.EighthLegion]

This shouldn't be funny, but it is.

[@palerider9952]

I want you to know that was absurdly cheesy and I love it

[@Astroman10]

Drinker - “How actually do you wash ashore, unconscious and not die?!” Aragorn starts sweating

[@Goseh]

we can allow that in a fantasy world where magic exists ,while this is a historical'ish movie , and aragon fell into a river not a sea/ocean ship

[@Astroman10]

@@Goseh on top of all that, he is a Númenórean blessed by elves. 😁

[@RhysCallinan-bv1wi]

To be fair it was a river that wasn't turbulent, unlike the ocean that was in the middle of a storm. Also Bailan had to deal with ship wreckage, while Aragorn didn't have anything to worry about.

[@petriew2018]

@@RhysCallinan-bv1wi and it's entirely likely he passed out after pulling himself ashore, because that takes a lot of energy out of you, so it's entirely believable he saved himself he didn't just happen to be the only person to survive when his ship was miraculously beached ....

[@RorytheRomulan]

Listen...

[@H20No]

King Baldwin is the best part of this movie

[@SumDumGy]

Which one?

[@jonsimpson6240]

​@@SumDumGysilver mask king.

[@SumDumGy]

@@jonsimpson6240 I figured but I wanted to josh you a bit because there were two.

[@jonsimpson6240]

@@SumDumGy in that movie? I think I knew there was two, but not represented in the film.

[@silenceburns1336]

​@jonsimpson6240 the young boy. If memory serves, when he was named heir, he was named Baldwin V

[@bangoskank7018]

Ridley Scott wanted Paul Bettany. The studio demanded Orlando. Sigh, what could have been . . .

[@UchihaOokami2596]

Holy shit yeah i hadnt heard that. wow yeah that would have been amazing.

[@Captain_Insano_nomercy]

Dang that would have been so different

[@beowulfsrevenge4369]

That could have been amazing! Instead, we got a wooden bloom.

[@TheRightTackle_]

I always crack up at Orlando Bloom's armor leveling up throughout this movie lol the cool blue armor at the end is the quintessential end game armor you get just before the final area.

[@craigsteinkamp12]

This same crew but EFAP Monty Python Holy Grail 😂

[@MediumRareOpinions]

Yes please

[@hoonterofhoonters6588]

The blue jeans are historically accurate.

[@Yogurt_Fingers]

Add the Trumb movies to that.. New Thumb Wars movie coming in May btw.

[@1986debu]

'cause he's Aragorn.

[@wojak-sensei6424]

Baldwin might as well be the main character in this movie. An ailing king near the end of his short life, watching his kingdom tear itself apart as they all stand at the brink of disaster. We could've focused on his youth as the great hope of a prosperous Jerusalem, fending off Saladin's army and controlling the palace intrigue of his kingdom. But over time, he starts to feel the curse put upon him, as he begin to question his abilities, his life's works, even his faith. And we could've ended with that big-ass entrance with the crusaders all in tow. King Baldwin in his dying breath, deciding to show the world the strength of Jerusalem one last time, stopping a bloody confrontation between his fearful enemy and his own subject. That's just a more interesting movie than some random French emo guy who suddenly became a knight.

[@mstrikerwildrift]

The Baldwin scenes are the reason why this movie is still remembered by people.

[@Pink.andahalf]

Ridley Scott loves the French. Always has strange effects on his movies.

[@janehrahan5116]

@@Pink.andahalf napoleon is proof he hates corisicans (And men)

[@RhysCallinan-bv1wi]

It's funny cuz Blooms character fought at Hattin, but was allowed to leave if he promised never to fight Saladin. He was forced to go against it because of the people at Jerusalem, and he wrote a letter to Saladin begging for forgiveness, which he got because Saladin (or Salahadin as his name has been known) was a Chad, the epitome of what a knight should be and highly respected in the Crusading community despite being a Muslim. It's why he and Richard were both pretty well matched.

[@SumDumGy]

Especially considering Balian’s entire backstory is a Hollywood fabrication. He was actually born in Ibelan. He wasn’t French.

[@Pheebs77]

"I once fought for three days with an arrow through my testicle" 😆😁😁

[@sparkypack]

Skyrim guy can consider himself lucky by taking an arrow only to his knee.

[@SumDumGy]

Haven’t we all...

[@katanabluejay]

Is that how the Austrian painter lost his ball?

[@thomasg2488]

Drinker needed to see Tatiana, he couldn’t handle the movie anymore lol

[@jonbaxter2254]

Honestly, that's fair.

[@HectorLopez0217]

Star Grift died so this could live it’s sacrifice will not be forgotten

[@SumDumGy]

It’s not a sacrifice at all. I walked away from that one before it ended.

[@janehrahan5116]

how'd it die? I was never interested in sw theory, so im out of loop here.

[@HectorLopez0217]

@@janehrahan5116 Mauler and Ryan had to drop out because of busy scheduling like video making, prep time, and streaming for their own channels

[@nhagan001]

More like Super Chat with Ryan and Mauler.

[@jim.the.editor]

​@@nhagan001- still better than Real BBC

[@josiahkepley]

The part that drives me crazy isn't the historical side or the acting... first Balian is a Gary Stu, immediately a competent warrior, immediately a competent landkeeper and nobleman, the film alleges he's politically savvy but he isn't, and the worst thing is his fling with Sibylla. He's totally comfortable committing adultery with her while prattling about 'a kingdom of conscience' but won't marry the same woman to hold back a war, and this is portrayed as noble. It's just modernity stuffed into the crusades.

[@mjob1sniper851]

It’s more he won’t kill Guy until it is proven he’s guilty of something other than being a dick.

[@wangusbeef86]

Maybe I'm misremembering but it was implied that Balian was also a war veteran before the events of the movie (as a siege engineer), and everyone except Guy had massive love and respect for his father.

[@_Jay_Maker_]

@@wangusbeef86 You're not misremembering. The entire reason they even seek Balian out isn't just because he's his father's son, but also because of his own engineering experience. His defense of Jerusalem doesn't come out of nowhere.

[@SumDumGy]

It not marrying her that he’s worried about. It’s the killing of Guy and his followers necessary to make the marriage happen he objects to. He says he doesn’t want to be the cause of those deaths.

[@aconfuseddarklord7925]

We really need a good historical Crusade movie or tv show about Richard the Lionheart vs Saladin.

[@culturalliberator9425]

Agree. Have always wanted one. But sadly they always fall into Muslim propaganda. As if the Muslims were literally trying to conquer the entire $$$$in planet.

[@RhysCallinan-bv1wi]

Did watch a several part show of multiple characters like Spartacus, Napoleon and Attila in which one of them was about Richard. Don't remember what it was called, but I remember that Attila looked quite a lot like he was played by Sandor Cleganes (GoT The Hound) actor.

[@christopherkelley1664]

I'd like one on the Children's Crusade and how it was just a scam and human trafficking deal between the West and the leaders of the Islamic world.

[@katanabluejay]

"You went from chainmail to chained up in jail, till mommy drained England to pay for your bail"

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

Knights of the cross written by the guy that runs the real crusades history channel here on Yt

[@majomajo1835]

At least we know now where Jet Li got his inspiration for his vast variety of facial expressions in Mulan Live Action...

[@isaackane4931]

The thing with Orlando Bloom&Onion in Pirates is that he's a good contrast to the more eccentric characters he meets. Not even compared to just Jack and Barbosa, pretty much every pirate has some eccentricities with them either in appearance or acting. Helps to show how out of place he is. Same might not be said for Elizabeth and Norrington, which is also probably why his scenes with either of them tend to be the worst for him.

[@Captain_Insano_nomercy]

Very good observation A good director/writer knows how to best utilize an actor and their abilities. In pro wrestling for example, a bad wrestler could look amazing if they were used in the right way

[@Kainvverd]

A Orlando Bloom movie, starring Orland Blood as... Orlando Bloom.

[@robertlewis6915]

I'm not convinced by Bloom in that role. I don't think he did a good job portraying the subtleties of his character.

[@Delirium420x]

Orland Blood, the evil Orlando Bloom that can act

[@macgregorhall1076]

I greatly appreciate the Mount & Blade humor

[@YeomanArcher]

You better not be a man hunter!

[@nyancat4292]

It's almost Harvesting Season

[@Kainvverd]

I love watching movies set in the medieval times, even the bad ones... They remind me of times when I used to be a medieval peasant, farming cabbages and trying not to get my hut burned down during some war.

[@defeqel6537]

Ahh.. simpler times

[@lemncurry]

Lol, Shad going "from memory,... this battle,..." I knew he was old, i didn't know he was THAT old...😂

[@Jasper_Silva]

I love that orlando bloom single handedly solved every problem and researched every tech. Hes like the player in a civilization game.

[@RhysCallinan-bv1wi]

That Mauler "you're so ridiculously evil. Fuck." Is such a great edit. Love it.

[@camillecunningham7348]

Timestamp?

[@callumunga5253]

@@camillecunningham7348 1:17:00

[@camillecunningham7348]

@@callumunga5253 Thanks

[@ShakalakaKing]

I would adore a episode dedicated to the 13th Warrior. Excellent movie.

[@RhysCallinan-bv1wi]

Bandaris is epic.

[@SumDumGy]

Yes, but is it EFAP material? That’s always the question.

[@ShakalakaKing]

@@SumDumGy Efap movie material at the very least

[@SumDumGy]

@@ShakalakaKing Thats what we’re talking about and I don’t think it is.

[@petriew2018]

@@SumDumGy yeah, the problem with watching good movies in this format is they often have little to actually say

[@ivanryan5755]

The rejection of historical innaccuracies is great to see. You're more informed than most professional critics it seems.

[@aquapuppy9838]

Director: Okay, Mr Bloom, in this scene, you've been knocked unconscious, so I'm gonna need to see you emote like you're ecstatic or depressed to the point of suicide. Bloom: No problem. Also Bloom: 0:00 - 1:56:34.

[@crimsonpotemkin]

King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem is just the coolest mfer The name Baldwin would probably give xqc a heart attack

[@crimsonpotemkin]

Blacksmith, I am going into battle and I require only your strongest weapons.

[@An_Actual_Rat]

My weapons are too strong for you, knight.

[@kry0stat1s74]

31:48 missed opportunity to have shad's laugh fade into ghimli's at helm's deep

[@HeyImRosko]

Orlando Bloom isn't acting poorly, he's moving different.

[@doopdoopdopdop7424]

So about the ear poison, there is a reference to a poison called “Hebenon” in Shakespeare’s work. It is unknown what it is but it’s described as being poured through the ear. I dunno if the director thought he was being super deep or just liked the visual but there’s one possibility.

[@berserkshirtbear1271]

Yay! Bashir acknowledgement!

[@Troopertroll]

I love how this movie makes Saladin look like such a saint, when he was one of the biggest cowards in Medieval history who consistently lost against one angry Norman while commanding a massively overwhelming force.

[@sarwatarannya8786]

Compared to most medieval rulers, saladin was a saint, so much so that European writers wrote fanfictions of Richard the Lionheart meeting up and having chivalric duels. This movie makes Baldwin looks like a saint as well lmao. Its a romanticisation of history, and both the kings managed to earn the respect of their enemies. Might be a bit salty cause ya lost the holy land to the big lad.

[@Troopertroll]

@@sarwatarannya8786 Saladin quite literally wouldn't be caught dead honouring Richard with a duel. He wouldn't even fight with his own cavalry and retreated whenever they were pressed.

[@daveyjones8969]

Ahh, my Norman ancestors were certainly tough sons of bitches lol. Transferred to Canadians, as we had a brutal reputation during the world wars (killed surrendering Germans to save food, raiding emplacements in blizzards, etc). We were even founded by a drunken Scot!

[@PanzerblitzRnR]

@@Troopertroll Saladin being tactically and strategically practical? What a terrible general.

[@Alex_Fahey]

​​@@TroopertrollTo be fair to Saladin, anyone trying to fight Richard in a duel was asking to die. He's up there with figures like Pyrrhus in terms of being an absolute gigachad on the battlefield. Saladin fighting one on one with Richard would be like Paris fighting Menelaus in the Troy movie. He'd just get abused in 4K.

[@ronan5228]

Mount & Blade edit at the end is peak fire

[@markcoroneos7811]

Movie: Europe suffers repression and poverty Drinker: "i see some s**t never changes then" 😂😂 dead

[@crackbane1330]

Complaining about orlando is the only thing that brings me joy in life

[@bowser5678]

You think Ridley Scott really doesn’t care about history in this film, wait until you see Napoleon.

[@SumDumGy]

“People gonna value the sh*t out of your stuff if it’s good.” ...like actors?

[@nananamamana3591]

"When the Pope says God's commanded it, you just find a way I guess." - Drinker I mean... God is *THE* Deus Ex Machina, of all deus ex machinas, Drinker.

[@EpicOfChillgamesh]

I freaking love the editing in this episode. The Sabaton, the Pathfinder cure light wounds sound effect... beautiful!

[@wrayday7149]

My biggest issue with the film was Bloom's character just keeps getting put in charge of everything as soon as he shows up... no one even asks him for a resume'. Outside of that.... I like the film.

[@defeqel6537]

Bloom's character is a classic Gary Sue, which is somewhat hidden by the fact that the movie is quite grim

[@SumDumGy]

Guy does.

[@lukebarroso449]

I liked parts of this movie. The chess scene is one of my favorite parts. King Baldwin was also an amazing character. For Jerusalem! ✝️ EDIT: Orlando is a bad protagonist but I enjoy the good bits

[@richardthirlwall8767]

16:45 There were indeed longswords during this period, they were still extremely rare and PROBABLY not used in the way depicted, as those are techniques similar to Talhoffer or Fiore De Libre, from the 15th century, but longswords/hand and a half swords did TECHNICALLY exist. There's an example of one in Glasgow dated between the 1100-1200's, and a bastard sword from a similar period in the Royal Armouries collection although sadly not on display.

[@inferior3199]

So I decided to check on the suicide thing in religion and I did my journalistic investigation and checked only one site and they wrote: Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide. Individuals who commit suicide are usually suffering from some psychological or emotional condition that overwhelms them and impairs their ability to fully understand and freely choose their actions, and therefore they would not necessarily be culpable for their actions.

[@vissermatt1058]

i dont know if it's just a catholic thing, but many priests over the decades/centuries have painted suicide in such a negative light... it can be a bit weird. *personal anecdote time. had a cousin perform the action, and their local priest didnt want to be part of the mourning nor the funeral service. it didnt seem like the local church said or did anything, it was the priest's personal feeling.

[@inferior3199]

@@vissermatt1058 My condolences

[@vissermatt1058]

@@inferior3199 life sucks, then it's over. got to enjoy and maximize the time we have. best of luck to you and yours.

[@inferior3199]

@@vissermatt1058 Thank you. Wish you the same. I hope you find peace and fulfillment in your journey.

[@hikari_manekineko]

The Catholic Church was very much against suicide, considering it a mortal sin (refusing the gift of life, denying the will of God etc). So you'd go straight to Hell if you were a suicide, since you could not repent and get absolved once you're dead. Also, the suicides were denied christian burial and could not be buried in consecrated ground. Hence the scene in Hamlet where they bury Ofelia and the doubt whether it was suicide or just an accident... In time (as late as 20th century) the Church stance mellowed to what you found.

[@pondoorwastaken]

That spellcast voiceline at 1:09:15 will never ever leave my memory. I've spent too many hundreds of hours in those Pathfinder games to not immediately recognize it.

[@SikVox]

Orlando Bloom's character Balian seems to me like a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.

[@jonsimpson6240]

Pretty solid example for sure. They don't get full points as he technically got trained and has "lost" in several spots.

[@calebchristensen8207]

I love how all the mid 2000's "Christianity am bad" edge-lord-ery is capped off with the Muslim king very reverently picking up and displaying the Christian cross, so you know that not only are Christians=bad/mean, but Muslim=good/nice.

[@tarektechmarine8209]

It wasn't really though, we were just following the christian side. It seems balanced.

[@spbynum]

It’s worth mentioning that the Hospitaler (David Thewlis) was an angel. It started as a theory that a guy posted a KZbin video about with supporting evidence and was later confirmed by the writer and/or director (I believe in the commentary on the extended? Not sure). Anyways, it doesn’t make it a better movie. But it does recontextualize many subtle things the Hospitaler does and says in an interesting way. Great reaction, gang!

[@nhagan001]

There is a very strong irony with this EFAP movie coming out during current real world events. A very strong ironic twist.

[@SumDumGy]

It didn’t though. This movie is from 2006.

[@nhagan001]

@@SumDumGy I’ll clarify next time. The EFAP movies.

[@taags]

The good days when we europeans knew what to do against them,

[@RadicalAsh]

This was really fun to watch! I also love the Mount & Blade references at the end. 😄

[@brett3966]

The director cut of this movie is much different and much better

[@MBS-HomuZombie]

This was one of those movies that i think i've watched at some point but barely remember any of it. Like it takes seeing one of the few scenes i recall to confirm that i have seen it. I think the first one would be the last surviving knight companion going off with the anti-water army. On a brighter note, the mention of The 13th Warrior made me want to watch it because it seemed familiar for some reason, turns out i have seen that one before as well. I really enjoyed watching it again, but sadly it wasn't the only thing to bring me joy in life though.

[@bigprobllama]

Expressions trying to conquer Orlando's face...

[@coopsgirl07]

As an Orlando Bloom fan girl, I love this movie unapologetically 😊

[@culturalliberator9425]

You can do better. I believe in you.

[@coopsgirl07]

@@culturalliberator9425 Maybe I like slumming 🤣

[@SiriusSphynx]

​@@coopsgirl07: "Oh Orlando, I love you!" Orlando: "Yes"

[@SumDumGy]

As a man who is neither, so do I.

[@ChemEngulfMann]

I will cry if “The Last Samurai” isn’t in this arc

[@BertzTriscut]

To be fair to the blue light in night scenes, not only is it better than not seeing a fucking thing, but it's also at least partially accurate to Earth lore. The night sky looks black as can be for most of us because most of us live in cities, while the night sky is actually mostly blue without light pollution. You can actually see in open areas relatively well in a full moon, though obviously not as well as in the day, and caves and forests are a whole other issue of actually being pitch black.

[@Astroman10]

I took this horse from the sea … I shall call it … a seahorse!

[@rthompson7182]

The best part of Kingdom of Heaven was 13th Warrior.

[@joesomebody3365]

I enjoyed the battle scenes in this movie, and a lot of the character moments (even if Orlando Bloom's acting could be better at times). Historically though it's a mess and obviously has bias against the Crusaders and for the Muslims. That said, there aren't too many other Crusades movies I can think of that have the nice large set piece battles. So a flawed movie, but one I still enjoy re-watching from time to time.

[@SideBurns]

Shad’s mic is so fried

[@akashajones6079]

No mic deserves the punishment his gets...

[@warhawk525]

I am surprised everyone missed that the teutonic knights are out of period.

[@josephcherrington2017]

Where were they shown in the film?

[@warhawk525]

@@josephcherrington2017 there in a few shots, they wear the white with the black teutonic cross. ( this order was formed around 1190 ). The events portrayed in the film I believe is around 1164 to 1184 , because Baldwin 4th is still king.

[@proudsaiyanprince2651]

Almost like Shad isn’t actually an expert but a Mormon LARPER with a sensitive ego about his artistic talent.

[@baldurgunnarsson2578]

The movie states it starts in 1184. Compared to all the other insane historical inaccuracies in the film, I find this one of the least egregious.

[@warhawk525]

@@baldurgunnarsson2578 agreed. I still like the movie. (Theatrical cut)

[@rangerstedfast]

Yeeees that Sabaton song was placed perfectly 52:27

[@PJSO]

One of my fond memories of this movie is yelling God Wills it and me yelling it or doing it in latin to my family. Deus Vult!

[@777MrTibbs]

58:16 "And tomorrow I shall make you bacon and eggs with spooky music."

[@AlanGresov]

Me: gets curious about the Crusades and starts reading on them Mauler: I got you bro.

[@Higesgirl]

Oh! It's the movie with the really great music video! Good memory! 💛

[@intboom]

Judicious use of Sabaton greatly enhances this edit.

[@possiblepuzzles8137]

... I hope Gladiator counts for the war arc!

[@weeshock3480]

The only reason everyone liked Orlando Bloom in this movie is because he was in LOTR and Pirates just prior. He was the "Force Awakens Star Wars is back feeling" before that was a thing and time opened our eyes.

[@chrisbingley]

Orlando Bloom's acting is sponsored by Cuprinol.

[@STTPMASFTNE]

I love this film. I know it’s historically inaccurate propoganda like “The Patriot”, but like “The Patriot”, I love it anyway.

[@mobbsy2758]

Shad trying his hardest not to say a naughty word is the only thing that brings me joy in life

[@the98themperoroftheholybri33]

The chess board featured in this movie is based on a real chess set made and used by Normans found in England. So yes they did play chess back then

[@jbusername217]

'The four guys on top doing their absolute best, god bless them!'

[@berettaroadchronicles9637]

It is very clear why they left a lot of these scenes out of the theatrical release

[@ivanatotra]

This was one of my favorite movies as a kid. I still like it a lot.

[@fakecubed]

I saw this movie ages ago, and completely forgot that Orlando Bloom was in it at all. Now I know why.

[@colourofthunder]

shout out to Goger for the best whad' ya bring me so far!

[@jakemccluskey1111]

I laughed pretty damn hard at the Mount and Blade sound effects and dmg counter 😂. Goger should edit all of the war saga vids for EFAP

[@xeroeddie]

This is actually one of the movies that is brought up when talking about director's cuts that are a lot better than the theatrical version.

[@Boromir2k1]

EFAP should do a watch on A Knights Tale with the same group.

[@lordofthepizzapie9319]

I'm pretty sure that it is part of the war arc.

[@Boromir2k1]

@@lordofthepizzapie9319 how is that considered part of a war arc, when it is jousting?

[@lordofthepizzapie9319]

@@Boromir2k1 Hey, I didn't make the rules. I don't even know what the rules are!

[@nhagan001]

@@Boromir2k1 They had a skit in the trailer for this War Arc where they question that concept themselves. They kinda just threw that word War at the title.

[@defeqel6537]

@@Boromir2k1 hey, there was a war scene, and war going on!

[@weareharbinger914]

The extreme Deus Vult edits are awesome. I do really enjoy this movie, even with all the mistakes, helps the music is fucking great. Orlando definitely leans too hard into stoicism in this movie, in some cases it works, but not always, thats for sure. It was almost like he was a voiceless videogame protagonist. The film did 100% convince me a flail is a terrible weapon though, and that Saladin was a beast, as well as the greatest Muslim to ever live.

[@NoPantsBaby]

Nothing annoys me more than the Hollywood Medieval Atheist. Yes sure people would chafe at religion in the past. But they'd pretty much always do it as a sort of personal rebuke by the gods.

[@petriew2018]

you'd definitely have to be more coy about it, because the power of the church pretty much always outmatched yours, so being openly atheist was a quick way to losing everything

[@NoPantsBaby]

@@petriew2018 first you'd need to conceive of not believing in the gods. You are a man concerned with primary survival necessities. You go to church each day for mass. What time do you have to even think of not believing?

[@mkultraification]

It's good to know that someone else has discovered powerwolf.

[@BluStarGalaxy]

Orlando Bloom in the Film: I took the horse from the sea. Me: So it's a seahorse?

[@Dave_L913]

24:00 Love the visual gag. Qaigon is extolling all of Orlando Bloom's virtues and Goger is slamming the X to Doubt button repeatedly

[@Kodfru2.0]

45:55 Help! Crusaders are attacking our trade routes!

[@cartooncritique6625]

Let's just be honest. Orlando Bloom was never hired for his acting ability. That's not why people (namely women) watch his movies. 😏

[@franciszaldivar337]

23:18 that's Marton Csokas, he played Celeborn in Fellowship of the Ring, he's also the villain in XXX

[@freefall945]

I remember this being released and an outpouring of simultaneous complaints that the movie was both too generous and forgiving to Muslims historically and too generous and forgiving to Christians historically. I remember realising for the first time how ideology can warp the way people go in to watch a movie.

[@Elektroethegamer]

Watching this Efap movies made me realize that is how much you can put sabaton in these types of movies.

[@denistannenberg]

58:56 heyyyy medieval 2 babyyyyy

[@Travis_Adams]

We live in an age where a single man at his home computer may use a deep fake program and an AI voice program to replace all Orlando Blooms in cinema for a seamless and substantially more emotive viewing experience. God help us.

[@kimbob5]

“How have you set the desert on fire?”

[@Rx_Firm]

I mean, 1500-1600’s people died from others claiming they were werewolves. Some got away with murder by blaming another of being a werewolf.

[@osek64]

Ok....I want to know....who edited this video ?? Like....so many SABATON songs ? And powerwolf ??? LOVE IT

[@robertosabado4955]

Look as much as I enjoy the panel of personalities, I think it became too often that they lost the plot of the video. This isn't really EFAP anymore it just turned into a contest on who could come up with the most witty nitpick just for laughs. They became too distracted by themselves that it wasn't about the movie anymore, and even used that distraction to justify how "boring" and "bad" the movie really is. Am not saying they can't enjoy themselves or poke fun at the movie, all am saying is it got out of control. Personally I was excited to watch the video expecting a good time full of witty and mostly valid criticisms from a panel who has always presented themselves as intellectuals who are great at deconstructing certain forms of entertainment media. I expected to come out of this video with new knowledge and different perspective, but in the end it was just empty disappointment.