Ellie Taylor's First Poo After Giving Birth | Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled | Dave

[@UAndDave]

Okay, what's the most extreme thing you've done to hide something embarrassing from your partner? Tell us!

[@austinluta5399]

one of the most real mother stories loved it

[@m2012o1]

What a legend. I love how unflinchingly and funnily she told that entire story.

[@jv-lk7bc]

true bravery. like Louis CK-level comic bravery.

[@alasdairduncan3]

Clearly she's never read that iconic reddit story about the poop knife

[@mikeharding1016]

My thoughts were, did you not at least try the toilet brush before rolling up your sleeves and going in with the shower cap!

[@alasdairduncan3]

@@mikeharding1016 not sure that mashing shit into the bristles of a toilet brush is really the best solution here. Surely something smaller and less messy would be better. Something that could easily be thrown away.

[@therickpound]

Knife would be first and a more hygienic choice, the brush idea is pure madness, going in with a shower cap is panic.

[@42foobarbaz]

@@therickpound ​Or at least try the milk foamer whisk first

[@emma4557]

It's gotta be an unravelled coat hanger

[@BeingJapan]

I've loved Ellie since seeing her on QI. I don't think I could be more impressed with her. What a story!

[@1224bobo]

" The tiles were porous " Love it

[@jasonhare8540]

Alan does love a good poop story . At least she wasn't in the middle of Hempstead Heath 🤣

[@DrDaveW]

First time I've seen Johnny Vegas speechless!

[@nathrogers7]

He should have said 'I was that turd Ellie'

[@DrDaveW]

@@nathrogers7 I can even imagine that in his voice!

[@louiselincoln]

Oh that's a marvellous anecdote - yep...birth is messy in so many ways. I was a nursery practitioner for a while... I could tell you about the time our biohazard bin blew over in a gale but I think you can likely get the gist!

[@khymaaren]

As did the people standing near the bin, I suppose.

[@louiselincoln]

@@khymaaren Oh yes...and most of the neighbourhood! It took hours to clean up but thankfully most of the bags stayed sealed. I still remember one nappy that got stuck to a lamp post and was waving about like a flag though. Made me laugh.

[@UAndDave]

Biohazard Binado is a horror film we would watch

[@khymaaren]

@@UAndDave It would literally be a trash movie.

[@UAndDave]

@@khymaaren 🥁

[@CatsandJP]

I’ve had two emergency cesarean where I was cut from bellybutton to pubis and I never had trouble pooping because normal cesarean are done from hip to hip under the bellybutton, I was told by the doctor that the stomach muscle contract a different way, the only trouble was with the stitches on the first one and clips one the second prevented me from standing up straight so I had trouble walking.

[@curiousman1672]

heroic.

[@emilyrose2444]

My favourite poop anecdote was my colleague whose niece went down to London to visit her boyfriend. Same story but she blocked the toilet, fished it out in a bag, left it on a bench, and got herself accidentally locked out when she was asked to move her car for the neighbour. She had a work meeting to get to so she just had to leave the flat with a bag of poop on the kitchen bench.

[@rebelraccoon9018]

Good grief. She might as well have just pooped outside at that point.

[@randomstranger345]

For those who don’t know what to do if you shit so much the toilet doesn’t flush: Keep a good sized bucket in the bathroom and fill it with water (from the bath/shower head) and just pour it down the toilet It will force the poop down the toilet drain. Very simple very easy.

[@hafizur91]

That doesnt work. You need hot water pour it down after few minutes it goes

[@A-small-amount-of-peas]

​@@hafizur91worked for me. You must drop pretty sizeable logs if you need heat to break em down

[@rebelraccoon9018]

Or don't eat like a pig to begin with.

[@martiniv8924]

A Legend, she and all other women that go through this need a bl**dy medal , she needs two for sharing 🥇🥇😂

[@silverkitty2503]

Well they do give you a baby!

[@mjs28s]

My hero!

[@ricead]

Return of Clogzilla

[@northenderp]

When I still live with my mum and dad, they had to keep a stick handy for my younger brother who was forever clogging the toilet with his.

[@dickweeeeeeeeeed]

...``younger brother`` !!!...come on fess up : )

[@garethstott]

Johnny Vegas 'Sounds like every Boxing Day'

[@aenamabag]

A friend of mine told a story similar to this on a national radio program, with the general theme of dealing with poop in an unconventional way to hide from a partner the very fact they they indeed also do poop. It lead to hundreds of people writing in and sharing similar stories, and the underlying commonality was doing something extremely embarassing to hide the 'embarrassment' of having pooped, and usually to hide it from a significant other.

[@m2012o1]

Please tell me it was an anywhere-near-similar number of men to women. I feel like society mostly tells women they have to hide that sort of, pardon the pun, shit.

[@aenamabag]

@@m2012o1 Oh it was only women calling in. 100%

[@m2012o1]

@@aenamabag aw. I was really hoping we could all just be ridiculous together as a human race. Oh well.

[@zarajay6604]

I don't get this at all, why are people hiding such a natural and daily thing from their partner? The person you are meant to be the closest with!? Madness 🧐😪 Everybody poops 💁🏼‍♀️

[@aenamabag]

@@zarajay6604 Totally. Everyone should have a bristol stool chart on the wall. It's a good conversation point. lol

[@totalspoof8344]

That would be scary,being constipated while healing from a c section. I'm glad I'm a man.

[@markjoyce3172]

LOL the pincer motion

[@spacecaptain9188]

As an Italian I must know: What kind of wine is in that glass?

[@4hm35319hd0h5]

I thought you were gonna ask something about the plumbing! 😆

[@UAndDave]

Kudos to you for being able to focus on the wine during that story

[@WyliesPop]

I got the reference 👏🏼👏🏼

[@flamingotwist]

for her, this was one of the most significant shits of her life. for me, thats just tuesday

[@UAndDave]

oh 😳

[@flamingotwist]

@@UAndDave to be honest i was just doing a Thanos reference. Actually then again its more of an M Bison reference from the street fighter movie

[@captainrisky6561]

This is why everyone should own a poop knife

[@scarlettfrancesca]

I kind of love that 58,000 people tuned in and wanted to listen to this story 😂

[@UAndDave]

You can't go wrong with a quality poo story

[@maxscameraguy]

They let her out before taking her first poo?

[@SmallBlogV8]

Does nobody else have a dedicated tool in their house? We have two things like especially long corn-cob prongs that live in our two WCs for this exact purpose. Fair play for going through that entire ordeal whilst continuously breastfeeding, though.

[@UAndDave]

Do people not use the classic toilet brush anymore?

[@chantalfinn6173]

​@@UAndDave poop on the bristles, no thanks

[@SmallBlogV8]

@@UAndDave When it's hard enough to require tools, making the whole deal into smaller pieces is what does the job more than soiling a brush while forcing the issue does, IMO.

[@snr0n]

@@chantalfinn6173 Do you not also get poop on the bristles when you're using it to clean the toilet? I imagine if you had to use it to break one up, you could swish it around to get most of it off, then just clean the toilet afterwards and you'd be back where you started: with a tool I wouldn't recommend you eat off

[@jamesedmonds7519]

I think it'd be easier if you just had a better diet. I never have this issue.

[@stuarttupp3541]

I thought the traditional method was to poke it with a stick?

[@blackbird5634]

I grew up next door to 5 boys, all of whom played football and the older two used to terrorize us younger boys by having a MASSIVE sh*t and then dragging us in headlocks, sometimes TWO AT A TIME to the bathroom to look at it. They'd hold your head near the bowl till you screamed. If their mom was home she might, I say might have a word from the kitchen, but if their dad was there he just let it go. It was what we did as boys and he had been in WW2, he'd seen a lot worse.

[@paulburton9386]

Open a coat hanger, which you don't plan to use again, and use the end. Always unblocks a loo.

[@TheAlchaemist]

I had a similar situation, but after an peritonitis surgery instead... it took me 10 days to give birth, and I am a man.

[@TheAlchaemist]

The only lesson... FOCUS and NEVEEEEER EVER stop pushing until the titanium submarine goes out or you will seriously regret it!

[@paulashe61]

Keep a wooden spoon on a chain to break its back.

[@robbieallan6522]

Why don't you see Ellie Taylor anymore? Or does she just not do it anymore? I know she had a kid and thought maybe she's taking a maternity leave, that being said I watch 90% KZbin 10% TV these days.

[@judecordeiro8344]

shes clearly never heard of a toilet plunger.

[@davidlittle7182]

Why would she give it to her husband in the first place?

[@ameliecarre4783]

Women are frank about these things now. That is why birth rates are low, at least it's as much a reason as eco-anxiety.

[@TheMaintenancePlumber]

👍

[@EdelweisSusie]

The only thing I wondered during that (not remotely funny) tale is ….. what the hell has Alan done to his hair?

[@wonderwoman5528]

This anecdote went on too long

[@robbieallan6522]

That's a hilarious story! I'm sure her husband knows she poos 💩 by now 🙄 lol

[@lambyUK2007]

Anyone else all of sudden need the toilet? I'm not even joking...

[@UAndDave]

And that's the magic of television

[@Erlisch1337]

Wish I hadnt heard this lol

[@graemetalbot127]

You know it's bad when you have to stand up to finish ..... 😬💩💩

[@iamdmc]

Ellie's very funny and beautiful, but imho her humour has changed/turned into post baby and a bit body-horror humour

[@alasdairduncan3]

And?

[@iamdmc]

@@alasdairduncan3 and it's not to my taste

[@DerEchteBold]

Are you from the UK? If so, you must really feel horrible there if you don't enjoy poo humour, as that seems to be one of the main comedy subjects.

[@iamdmc]

@@DerEchteBold nein, ich bin ein Berliner

[@DerEchteBold]

@@iamdmc Oh, haha, aber bei britischer Comedy muss man sich schon mit jeglicher Geschmacklosigkeit anfreunden, sonst hat man nicht viel Spaß dran, würd ich mal so behaupten.

[@matttrafton2725]

Women don't poo. No, no, no ,no......

[@bugsygoo]

Is it normal for the English to pretend that bodily functions don't really exist? Surely you're not that up tight.

[@khymaaren]

Yeah, they just tell detailed anecdotes in front of a live audience on the telly about something they pretend doesn't exist...

[@UAndDave]

Oh, we are.

[@eclectica1]

Of course not! What a strange takeaway from all of this.

[@Dave-jm3zf]

@@khymaaren I think this question refers to Ellie Taylor saying her husband "doesn't know she has an @$$hole" 3:14

[@khymaaren]

@@Dave-jm3zf Yeah, that was an absolutely serious statement.

[@HGG381]

To much information, maybe im too old fashion. ..

[@andrewmay1299]

Imagine going on a comedy programme like this and this is one of your best stories to tell the researchers 🙄 Ellie Taylor is a great comedian, but come on. Too much information.

[@johnnymoondog]

pooptube !

[@glywnniswells9480]

This is too cringe in British