r/Maliciouscompliance | straight up clownin'

[@Just_a_commenter]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: malicious compliance is best compliance :3 Anywho, Jack's a funny narrator that I love to pester with my existence. Yes, you probably see this comment, Jack. Go drink some water.

[@Lexadecimal]

@@p-__, absolutely nobody here within this entire comment section asked you anything. please keep your unnecessary information to yourself.

[@GuyThePerson]

@@p-__ sauce? I have to see (hopefully not smell) EVIDENCE

[@minaashido518]

What did your pfp vore? Was it latios or some random swampert because it’s gotta be massive

[@FurryQueenYT]

​@@minaashido518Ash made it pregnant.

[@ragdude7323]

“:3” COMPLETELY unrelated, are you trans?

[@ArabellaTurner]

6:45 OP said that they informed people the deployment wasn’t stable. As someone who works in tech, it sounded like they made things pretty clear. Also the fact that they didn’t realize this was a necessity without being told is frankly alarming. It seems like some out of touch leadership people not understanding the day to day work.

[@SB-cz9vo]

Sadly, I can second this 100%. Most managers think that the technicians will just flick a switch and type in a few ominous commands to get everything up and running smoothly, and then spend the rest of their time goofing around. The truth is quite different and just like OP, I love to hand the reins to the manager and let it crash and burn on their account. Most of them are pretty quick learners when it gets burned into their hide ... except for the odd one who loves pain and sticks his other hand in the same blender searching for the first one.

[@valleyard8674]

As someone that DOES NOT work in tech, I also think that it was very clear But you know, the higher ups said that the meeting has to be on friday right?

[@RoxasXIIITT]

​Lunounokoluunuunkoukunojunkp put unlucky lungs 🫁 unlnukn uknouu uyoup n

[@dumpling321]

I'm no techie but I'd say im techie adjacent. I 100% would have gotten the message from "usually the system is unstable and I have to fix it" okay dude, do what you need to do, you know your job

[@tsukiortu]

Also his also his 6:50 quote. A lot of tech jobs aren't things you can "get done early in the week". A lot of the time theyre issues you're fixing that haven't occured during that point yet.

[@elaexplorer]

Yes, Jack, he said the programs aren't stable on Fridays. The logical thing to do would have been to permanently reschedule the meetings to Mondays. So there would be time to iron out bugs and anything that was discussed that needed to be implemented could happen right away rather after the weekend.

[@lilik7323]

I went to original. They are small company and Fridays have the może free time in week... Probably expect for OP, who have to fix servers, which can break under small bugs.

[@lilik7323]

@@eliyahrosenkranz7011 Ignor it. It's just a bot.

[@simplynothing96]

@@eliyahrosenkranz7011 annnd this is the type of audience Emkay festers up. I love it XD

[@DraconicDuelist]

How much you wanna bet somebody'd decide it'd be a good idea to push the implementation of the update to those Mondays so that they'd be able to immediately discuss the changes. Leading to a ring-around-the-rosie of stupidity: pushing meetings to fix updates, moving meetings to when fixes are done, someone moving the updates to the meeting days, rinse and repeat...

[@cewla3348]

@@simplynothing96 the dead link proves you wrong.

[@technikschaf1574]

"System isn't stable on Friday, I hae to fix it" That's sounds to me like a good explanation why this is a bad time for a meating. If you do not ask why or if the fixing could be done before but just assume it's lazyness or don't care because you are more important then you probably desperately need this lesson

[@XianMMD]

Meeting*, not 'meating'

[@QuikVidGuy]

​@@XianMMDit WOULD also be a bad time for a meating, especially the extra time spent with hr

[@cewla3348]

@@XianMMD i mean.. being on corporate hours is a bad time for a meating, they might have just emphasized it

[@hunterwhite8772]

Okay the cashier story has me kind of mad. So the guy is angry about a policy, but decided to take it out on a cashier who has no control over said policy? I work register at a fast food place, and they have very specific phrases and questions we have to ask every customer every single time. It sounds a lot like the girl was actually just following policy by saying it’s cheaper with cash because she probably is required. Also she never did anything rude or malicious towards him and it sounds like she was just trying to use a cheerful customer service voice, which all us service workers are quite familiar with. All he managed to do was inconvenience a cashier and everyone else behind him in line to prove a point. Maybe instead of being a jerk to the worker, try to talk to corporate instead if you don’t like the policy.

[@thelunchlady8276]

Thought the same thing.

[@yukko_parra]

usually most stores won't even say there's a surcharge, you just need to ask to confirm it. so that lady is doing a very nice thing imo. still the easier thing is to say that there is a surcharge with card.

[@ODSTD56]

Retail worker here. We don't control the policies. We aren't the ones demanding a cashback fee. We weren't the ones who made the buggy self checkout machines. Believe me, we try to love our jobs and try to make it as comfortable to the customer as possible but everyday is an uphill battle for both sides. Let's try to play nice.

[@hunterwhite8772]

@@yukko_parraI know, why did he take it as such a personal attack when she said it? He must be really entitled

[@hunterwhite8772]

@@ODSTD56I know! Okay so I used to have a regular that came in every day and would ask me for the veterans discount which my company doesn’t do. So I would apologize sincerely and explain we dont do that. And EVERY TIME he would start ranting to me about how absurd that is and how we should honor veterans blah blah blah and everytime I was just like I’m sorry I literally have NO control over it, but like he did it at least several dozen different times expecting it would make some kind of difference. Like dude I’m not the one to complain to 😂

[@Ragehunger]

"Wanting to work remotely for any extensive amount of time is against company policy, and we want you to jump through excessive hoops just to prove you really have to" sounds like one of the most American things in our modern day and age. Anything to keep their employees in tow and under strict surveillance. 2020 taught them absolutely nothing. Also, I've found that Human Resources is the same for business owners as Unions are for employees. They only exist to serve the best interest of the owners and stockholders and doesn't give a crap about what the workers think or feel the vast majority of times, only truly compromising when the business would have something to lose otherwise. Being the bootlickers of the corporate world is probably the most fitting description of them.

[@sylvrwolflol]

Yeah HR doesn't exist to protect employees, they exist to protect corporate. _Unions_ exist to protect employees, and that's it.

[@andrewollmann304]

22:19 PT is not personal training, it’s physical therapy. Knee bends, bicycle kicks…that sort of stuff.

[@Sclasspsycho]

Cash vs Card Story: Wow. You sure showed that cashier that was most likely instructed to inform customers that cards were a little more pricey. Sometimes our customer service personas come off as "snooty" when really it's just having to play nice all the time, even when dealing with a-holes like OP.

[@blak4831]

yea OP was not the hero of that story

[@10Neon]

In OP's defense, this is MaliciousCompliance not AITA

[@rainestorm6029]

A lot of OPs are the assholes in these stories

[@hunterwhite8772]

Yeah I work cashier at a fast food chain and know the struggle of having to count out a bag of change while the line gets impatient and there is no room on the counter to even count it out. That girl was just doing her job and the guy was so arrogant by doing what he did

[@TSC907]

@@10Neon well, it was certainly malicious, i'll give them that.

[@Adam-xf6sq]

10:51 Imagine thinking tie-die clothing is against any dress code. That person would probably dissolve if they saw 0.0001% more skin than usual.

[@wmdkitty]

Oh, noes, not tie-dye! He might be =gasp= a Hippie! /s It's just fun colors , yo.

[@izumi2165]

to be fair, it's too much color and a lot of people simply don't like it. if it was a tshirt with a band design or some form of media on it like back to the future, star wars etc, it would be more bizarre to get mad at

[@erinhollow773]

Jack assumed "PT" was "personal training," implying he's never been to physical therapy. Good for him. I hope it stays that way

[@thelunchlady8276]

Oh! That makes way more sense. I thought it was peepee touching. I always throw up when my uncle kevin comes into my room at night and makes me do that.

[@kellyhanson140]

i gotta stop listening to reddit channels.. this is the third time i've heard the doctors note story today.

[@moonlightwolf]

I listen solely to Emkay (for Lexi and Damien) and Mark Narrations

[@sigmartmsr1141]

2nd time today,one time munths ago

[@elizathegamer413]

Same

[@mriaschug5432]

I prefer emkay because it's a mix of a few people in one channel. Otherwise I don't vibe with other people's jokes for their channels and such

[@CaptainMangles]

See you tomorrow

[@savysmarty8621]

I’m so glad there are so many people standing up for that cashier in the comments

[@stammesbruder]

The first story about the doctor's note baffles me. What kind of stupid policy is it, that you need a doctor's note to WORK from home? No, if you are sick enough to need a doctor's note, you don't work at all - you stay at home and rest. If you still want to work despite being sick, you should not need to jump through hoops and bend over backwards, so THEY get the work they want done actually done.

[@StuartLegomanLittle]

I think that the policy of working from home may have been an addendum that was added sometime after the pandemic hit and the higher ups just have not changed it

[@fluidwolf]

A good few of these just feel like the OPs are being jerks for no real reason or humble bragging. "Look how much weight I was lifting Im so strong he didnt wanna mess with me". Part of the fun of these stories is that the MC part is being done to someone that deserves the treatment, if the OP is just as bad or worse it just feels like someone being a jackass

[@hunterwhite8772]

Yeah I agree. Also the one with the credit vs cash had me angry at OP for bothering a random worker over a policy he didn’t like

[@sylvrwolflol]

Unfortunately, a good half of the sub now is just people telling stories about how they were a jackass for no good reason. It's becoming a sort of offshoot AITA, but minus the concept of remorse.

[@QuikVidGuy]

I think the weights one is fun because it's such a small enough inconvenience that it eeally just boils down to "We're both doing our part, we both learned to be more careful how we word things." He didn't ruin the guys day or anything. But the strength brag was obnoxious

[@RR-013]

With the CFO story, I think it was a matter of they worked with this person long enough to know both their arrogance and incompetence. So to know that despite gaining a next step in the company they were forced to still be on the same level as a coworker (an incompetent one at that) who is originally meant to be a subordinate, I'd feel very fairly cheated myself. Especially if OP had worked hard to maintain the momentum to enter that position.

[@QuikVidGuy]

Yeah, she objectively caused all the financial trouble, even if the op is a bit of an insecure stump

[@TetraSky]

19:45 this guy is why a lot of stores have a limit of a handful of each coins to pay

[@KittyMax97]

The guy paying with quarters was way wrong for that. The cashier doesn’t control the policy! She also probably is told to remind people every time and has to do it with her best customer service voice and face. Dude needs to suck it up or complain to corporate, who will ignore him. They probably switched to a different system company that either costs more or requires a percentage of the earnings. Sounds like a crotchety man who just doesn’t like change. He threw a fit over 57 cents!

[@hunterwhite8772]

I KNOW I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING. At my work they make us repeat phrases and questions very specifically to each and every customer so I bet it’s policy that requires her to say it too. Also I hate when people pay with a ton of loose change and I would be furious at someone doing it ON PURPOSE just to make my job harder because he doesn’t like a policy I would have no control over.

[@EtherWolf2459]

@@hunterwhite8772 I think the worst part is he is making it out that 15 dollars of quarters is a lot but if you have been working with a register counting change is super easy. My personal limit is anything over 15 dollars in change i will hand them rolls and tell them that they can roll the change first before we accept it.

[@Rainok]

6:27 OP: I told them that the system isn't stable Jack about a minute later: did they tell them why they need to postpone the meetings?

[@Spartan-kc1qt]

I like how they have been reading out the stories recently, rather then just single image things! Keep at it!

[@ZkL-V]

i think they have been doing that for a long time

[@literalantifaterrorist4673]

@@p-__spam bots going wild

[@EmKay]

Let me introduce you to the channel AskEmkay...

[@Tommorows-Dream]

@@p-__ My burps are better than EmKays burps. :)

[@robloxarchiver]

@@Tommorows-Dream my nuclear bombs are better then EmKay's nuclear bombs

[@Sidneeeeyy]

The doctors note thing happens at school too. Me: absent for ONE day, due to mental health. School: **WE NEED A DOCTOR NOTE AS TO WHY UR OUT OR CPS GETS CALLED**

[@erikazaliaduonyte7974]

CPS? What the fuck really, they wouldvebgone that far?

[@zigzag321go]

No Child Left Behind on its way to Leave Every Child Behind

[@Skoopyghost]

It said "no dress code" Imagine my suprise when I showed up naked, and the cops were called.

[@ragdude7323]

Smash

[@impracticalnuke]

Ayo chill 🧐

[@andrewollmann304]

20:22 But….that proves her point, doesn’t it? Thirty cents is cheaper than eighty-seven cents, not by much, but it’s still something. Plus, you wasted diners’ time doing your little petty act. Not sure I can support this.

[@hunterwhite8772]

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that. My boyfriend disagreed with me so I went to the comments to see if anyone else mentioned it. He decided to punish the cashier when all she was doing her job and it’s not like she has any control over her stores policy.

[@shortype]

right now it's midnight his voice is so soothing i can actually sleep while being interested better then asmr 10/10 would recommend

[@zackieboi]

@@p-__ 🗿🗿🗿

[@philippak7726]

I got my bond back fully despite having to leave things behind... the thing we left behind was a bed because when the movers went to take it, there was a full grown mold colony under it, such as we had been warning the landlord about in the walls. turns out it had spread despite us taking as many precautions as we could (regularly washing the molded area with hot soapy water, vinegar, and mold-killer), leaving the room open to air whenever the flatmate wasn't actually in it, and often when he was and it wasn't too cold, and putting multiple dehumidifying devices in there. every single inspection they'd basically blame us for not airing it enough

[@KittyMax97]

The op that was postponing meeting said in the post that when they said he needs to not post pone he tried to them why he does and why Friday’s don’t work. My guess is the meetings are with people higher up who don’t actually do any of the work and don’t really understand why things can’t just be controlled how they want.

[@XianMMD]

Just narcissists wanting things to be done as they demand.

[@amanlybudmoment]

19:41 Am I the only one who thinks the dude was the asshole, i mean, the cashier is forced to say that and forced to use a fake cheery voice.

[@Sclasspsycho]

Exactly what I thought. As a cashier (and someone with ASD) my customer service persona a mostly fake AF. I will always side with the cashier if they are following policy.

[@hunterwhite8772]

Not the only one, I also thought he was an asshole and actually got mad when hearing that story

[@dunderbaer2430]

"haha I'm so cool I deliberately inconvenienced everyone around me because a cashier told me about how I could save money when paying as per company policy". yeah, what a freaking asshole. The cashier literally did her job, but because this idiot thought she was "smug" about it (why the fuck would she, she's literally just telling you you're paying more than you need to) he decided to be a terrible person. MC is fun if the people around you see the situation and tell their family "saw this guy in a pineapple shirt today because of the stupid buttoned shirt rule at work, cool dude" not "saw some piece of shit pay in quarters today, blocking the entire line and inconveniencing everyone around them. what a douchebag" and you can just feel that OP wanted to be the first one, with how often he tried to frame the cashier as "smug" "condescending" "fake smiling". Because god forbid an employee smiles at you during check-out

[@phantomstarlight1366]

With the coin one. I'm pretty sure they are allowed to refuse if there's over like, 25 coins or something specifically for that kind of thing.

[@TCHorwood-xq7mw]

In the UK a businesses only have to accept coins for up to £2.00 in copper and £5.00 in silver.

[@zacharywindover9840]

Some places have laws for that. My town has a bylaw that if it's over $10 you can't pay with coins.

[@MoodyMooMoo]

Really appreciate the narrator playing devils advocate and not just blindly agreeing. It’s so important not to just automatically side with opinions fed to you. Or at least see it form the other side of the coin. Nice work!!! ❤

[@andrwblood9162]

It's strange that despite everyone experiencing homework throughout their education, so much of professional administration straight-up believes the office environment is the only work environment. Like, I understand it's more an excuse to own human beings again than for productivity. But fuck, why did I have to suffer through homework when that's pretty much not a thing outside of school?!

[@cetomedo]

So you are aware, the post at 5:10 was understandable by someone who didn't know anything about the tech industry if you take the words as their literal meanings. Minor: small, issues: problems, deployment: idk what other word to use here, they gave the program to the clients who started using them, monitoring: watching (what small problems might show up), fixing: resolving the problems and stabilise: make it less chaotic i.e. make it so it doesn't have constant problems.

[@samgordon9756]

6:51 Yes. OP told them. It's in the second paragraph. I know they basically never read these things but we can. Irony, in this case, is a mini rant about OP being seen as lazy by someone who didn't take the time to reread the post to see if it answered his question. Also: I worked in systems admin. Unless the bosses are also techs, they never listen. If OP can be faulted, it's for not stating they used the get out of this BS free card. "I need that in writing. You'll have my reasons for objecting the same way by COB today." Of course, that would be basic compliance. But this subreddit is MALICIOUS compliance. So faulting OP for being malicious is just bad form. Like the whole point is people who ought to know better making demands and then giving them exactly what they demanded. (Horse still not dead.) You know, like the Mendy's manager. Homie could have told him that he was acting within policy and would take action within the guidelines. But that's not what this reddit is for. (Horse definitely dead.)

[@Belreyne]

Isn't my story, because I never complied, I loud quit, but I digress... I was working at a factory, and worked with this one guy on my line, who got SUPER sick (this is before the 'Rona) and was told under no certain terms that if he missed, he'd be fired. He showed up sick, got half the shop sick and was promptly fired for complying. They went on to lay off my whole line a week later, but that story always stuck with me as "This is how the American Economy really is!"

[@StuartLegomanLittle]

That is how a business fails.

[@dat_boyboi]

18:40 just seems petty "oh you wont help me?. how dare you, im going to do this thing that only inconvenience you, random person, whos already been established to be at least somewhat less strong than me, for wanting to take off what i put on all on my own!" and then post it to reddit.

[@shadowraven137]

For the non-techies @5:00 story. Most companies call updating or releasing software 'deploying/deployment'. Often when this occurs you can accidently introduce bugs due to incompatible code (for instance a website might lose functionality, software can just break). Even with the test and emulated systems bugs slip through to release so you need to hunt them down. This company does the update Thursday night, so the first chance to monitor, hunt down bugs and fix them is throughout friday. There is no way the team/boss didnt know what they were doing. Chances are they just didnt know how long it often took to do.

[@matthewscorner2990]

So the parking lot story has a reply to it that goes similarly, except instead of the interviewer thinking he saw OP park in the handicapped spot, the head of the company actually gave OP permission to park in their designated spot and show the text confirmation to whoever needed proof (they were close friends and the boss recommended the job to OP in the first place) So they arrive and the interviewer immediately starts getting on OP's ass about where they parked and doesn't even let them speak before straight up telling them to leave as an interview was no longer necessary. So OP left and later received an email stating that they were no longer eligable for consideration for any part of the job. Later OP got a call from the boss asking what happened and when informed of the situation, they said they would sort it out and hung up. OP later got a call from the interviewer, apologizing for their behavior. It was initially a non-apology. You know the kind. But then OP heard the boss in the background of the call saying "Applogize like your job depends on it" OP ended up turning down the job, but enjoyed that small bit of justice.

[@redsable6119]

HR is there to protect the company not you.

[@SuperiorPosterior]

1:54 my problem is that I never look sick, even when I'm horribly sick. This has lead me to becoming good at puking on command, since so many people ask for "proof." I can honestly say I've only used this while *_not_* sick once, and that was to get out of work the day after my grandma died.

[@NotHereLookAway]

thats a very good reason to fake illness tbh

[@Dad......]

Credit cards have started charging more for the processing. She was being polite and doing her job. Just a reminder, it's cheaper to pay with cash.

[@Wolfbyte_the_Weirdo]

As someone who has gotten sick a LOT as a kid, like enough that my mom had to take me out of school, the doctors note story is my nightmare. I get sick if someone so much as brushes my shoulder during flu season, and i really hope nothing like that happens when I start working

[@BlackMew13]

I live in Switzerland and at first i didn't get what the issue was, getting a sick note if your sick for over 2 days is pretty standard here and it's an easy and quick thing to do Then I remembered what health care in America is like compared to Europe :'D

[@cursedseagullgames]

Unfortunately, that will be a thing. I have gone into work when severely ill purely out of spite for my managers and HR (while wearing a mask even in the pre-plague days) because they didn't believe me when I said I was sick. One manager even got on me for it, saying "You make it look like we don't care about our employee's and make them work sick!". My best advice is to get a real doctor's note and then doctor it at home yourself for whatever day you need it for. Most of them are printed out now, so it wouldn't be hard to get it into an editor, then modify it as needed. There are a number of free image editors out there, photopea, gimp, and krita immediately come to mind. Signed - former sick kid that's now an adult that still gets sick if someone sneezes within a 50-mile radius.

[@BlueSkyBirdies]

​@@cursedseagullgames Should have snapped back at manager like "go fucking figure, that's exactly what's happening"

[@cursedseagullgames]

@@BlueSkyBirdies Right? Though sadly I didn't have that much of a spine then.

[@WilburJaywright]

6:31 Jack: *reads the op saying that the system isn’t stable on Friday and they have to fix it* Also Jack: “Did you ever tell them why?”

[@CreepersNeedHugs]

1:08 bro's gonna get to name his disease

[@mini-mei]

As someone who works in software, I don't even think hearing talk about deployment and having to fix bugs right after is anything unusual.

[@vinx.909]

i'm certain that OP of the story around 6.30 tried to explain. but managers don't give a fuck about what you tell them, only what they tell you.

[@bararobberbaron859]

You made the right move, it makes no sense for you to get dinged on your bond due to the laziness of your roommate.

[@nickolayjewell4468]

I challenge incompetent managers all the time. Nobody is above anyone at the end of the day

[@Ghostfighter797]

I love malicious compliance, easily one of my favorite subreddits. :D

[@davidlionheart2438]

Jack: "Charlotte's been there longer than you and has far more experience of the workplace. You're an insecure misogynist!" Charlotte: * gets fired for massive incompetence * Jack: "I'M NOT WRONG! OP'S STILL AN AH!!!" Me: "Oh, Jack. Always so wrong. Always so snotty about it."

[@lwardrop2453]

6:45 Since OP already mentioned to their coworkers that the code usually isn’t stable on Fridays, and these people are in the same industry and OP is an important part of their workflow, you would think the coworkers would know how important it is for the website services they provide to be stable. You would *expect* them to know that if the network goes offline, that it is *crucial* for client satisfaction that OP is available to get that network back online as soon as possible. You’re being the devil’s advocate, but you can’t fix that your client was caught red-handed.

[@valleyard8674]

6:52 "Did he tell them?" He asks, after already having read op saying he told them that "the system isn't stable on friday, so I have to fix it" I guess... he probably did...

[@lonelyboy9852]

10:51 "Oh no, hippies."

[@Lexadecimal]

ok, that merch ad was astounding, loved the jjjackfilms bbbingo reference.

[@SueMeAndIWillWin]

17:08 the only time i laugher this whole day was Jack and his emkay merch pop up

[@CDE.Hacker]

Yes, if you listen to a lot of Reddit story channels, like me, you'll hear the same stories. BUT, this is the best reading of them all. The energy is great 👍

[@AiLoveAidoru]

If your boss tells you “we’re family”, just start living at the establishment for a while and see how they feel

[@randomshorts6862]

I ❤ THE WEIGHT STORY WITH THE MICKY MOUSE VOICEOVER LOL 😂😂😂

[@westwolf48]

For the one at 5:00 what they meant by "stabilize" is the darn thing doesn't work and they have to spend the whole next day babysitting it so the servers don't go down and lose us tens of thousands of dollars and upset our customers. The "deployment" is the putting updates to the software the company makes onto the servers. It sounds like the OP of that post is a system administrator (the person who keeps the servers running) and the other people in the meeting are the team that write the software (aka. the people who are writing the updates that require babysitting). You said around 7:00 that it sounded like they hadn't explained to why they were always postponing that meeting to their bosses, and I guess their team also didn't understand what they meant. Bad communication all around.

[@kittenflavored]

Jack, the snack that gets his bond money back

[@drrocketman7794]

"Now you have $10 more to deal with that in your therapy." Just don't fake it.

[@kazandyumiakatsukifans3179]

Malicious compliance is my favorite kind of compliance. Because they never actually realize how wrong they are until you follow their word to the T 😂😂

[@peteledoux6120]

I work in IT as well. Sometimes they don't listen because they assume what we do is easy. It makes me think the phrase: "Everything's fine, what are we paying you for!;" "Everything's broken! what are we paying you for?!?!" Sometimes they don't understand your job, but they will cut corners many times and make unreasonable demands, and the only way to make them learn is to do MC. I've done it many times, I just make sure I have everything logged in writing and all logs in my possession of what I did at their request so they can't delete it and claim I messed up. "I was only doing what I was told to do, after being told 5x to do it that way, I did what they asked!" Works well as long as you cover your butt with evidence you were only doing what they told you to do!..

[@emre_ez]

6:29 yeah op did "I mentioned that usually the system isnt stable on Friday and I have to fix it.". The update is pushed on Thursday so no OP cant fix it on the start of the week.

[@wyatttippett6441]

I WAS GONNA COMMENT THIS

[@DembaiVT]

6:44 basically they should be launching on Thursday, making sure it isn't crashing on Friday, having a meeting on Monday. Tech always has rough launches, there are bugs no one noticed or the servers aren't stable or whatever. So if they take the guy who fixes the problems away from his job on the day when the problems are going to be at their worst...it all goes to hell. He did explain to them why the meetings need to be moved to Monday and they refused. So it is their own fault.

[@ehx3419]

18:20 If I ever ended up bodybuilding and had this conversation with someone, I'd most likely just chuckle and say "Unironically, fair enough."

[@CreepersNeedHugs]

28:40 I have VERY low expectations for what I consider to be a clean room. I consider my bedroom clean but am told a lot that it is, in fact not. But holy shit, it's not THAT low. That's disgusting.

[@katking9574]

jack didn't watch digimon growing up. one character, izzy, had the catchphrase of prodigious, so i learned how to say it there, as did many other miniweebs at the time

[@yukko_parra]

as with many people here, I'm legit annoyed by the card/cash guy. mate just suck it up and have standby cash for transactions like this. The restaurant should have a small sign saying there's a surcharge, but otherwise they are fine to advertise this.

[@OfficialKayTheFoxYT]

The John EmKay Genie part was like a fever dream god damn

[@Bryce_the_Woomy_Boi]

My work place's dress code is 1. Wear the work shirt 2. Look decent

[@jorionedwards]

As it should. My old job at a warehouse had people coming in with cargo pants, khakis, blue jeans, swim trunks, etc. They didn't care as long as you were respectful and could get your job done.

[@Bryce_the_Woomy_Boi]

@@jorionedwards only places I think of where it should be strict is stores like MB, I can see why they have a strict uniform policy

[@Bryce_the_Woomy_Boi]

​@@pennyforyourthotstrue, but that's more of a safety thing then appearance

[@iexist1300]

While i get that in a system where people have to pay for doctors its inherently clasist dangerous and possibly dangerous to require doctors notes, the policy for them would be common sense if they were free. At school where i go if you miss any class you need a doctors note. Having the ability to take 2 days off whenever you feel like it seems quite generous. Also, if you're injured at a hospital, why wouldn't getting a note be done anyway? The real issue is that you have to pay for doctors, not requiring them.

[@mechengr1731]

The issue is that then they want you to bring it into work.

[@_Funaroma]

He also didn’t take the day off, he worked at home. In your analogy it would be like getting a doctors note just so you could work on your missing work at home while turning it in on time.

[@denverarnold6210]

Treating Jack's story at the end as an AITA: no, you're not. Short of getting an actual attorney involved, i don't know of any way to FORCE him to give up the info. So, tricking him was the next best thing to actually comply with the contract and get both your money back. He's just an idiot, or you were very bad at explaining it at the time.

[@rootofskynet]

@6:36 - ask lexi. lexi knows things.

[@FFVison]

I still get a kick out of the ad featuring John EmKay. That voice. The way he seems to have that "who needs a second take?" delivery. XD

[@CorruptedSystem32]

I have emetophobia and sorry not sorry but this person literally asked for proof of someone being sick, like what did you expect?

[@kelandryyemrot1387]

If the credit card guy was at a big chain restaurant, okay. Still rude to a cashier that's probably just doing what she was told to do. But if it was a small business, then middle finger to him. Businesses are charged an extra fee to process credit card payments. A large company/chain that is doing well financially can cover these fees without charging you. Or they might include the fee in the listed price, so you pay it whether you use a card or not. Small businesses and companies/chains that are struggling can't afford to pay these charges for you. They also have to keep their prices more competitive which means they can't include the fee in the listed price. A credit card may be more convenient, but it costs the company money. A good business will tell you when this fee is being added to your bill. Some companies will tell their employees to be more showy when they do so. It's not to be rude, but rather to get the customer's attention and encourage them to pay with cash. And... sometimes small business employees have a bit of an attitude about it because, in their eyes, you're the rude one for using a credit card at a small business. In recent years, I've seen a lot more previously-cash-only businesses start accepting credit cards. The technology is better and easier to get/use, sure, but a lot has to do with how dependent people have become on credit cards. People are less likely to buy from a business that doesn't accept cards. But many of these businesses aren't happy about having to do this. The just don't have a choice. So yeah, they're pissy. And then they have to deal with people like this guy and people who just throw tantrums at the register, and they're even more pissy! Because working retail effing sucks.

[@technikschaf1574]

Oh no credit card so convenient why do they not want to pay for my convenience? Also advertisers, companies and governments love your laziness.

[@the_Lime]

Okay I'm also really afraid of throwing up, I can however deal relatively well if others do it. Worst part is when I get just a little nauseous, like waking up at night or after eating, I can go into a panic so fast... Still I think the MC act of sending that video was gold and totally deserved, especially if they (ever) knew op personally

[@Cxste11xn]

the fuckin bingo card made me do a spit-take lmao I had to rewind and get closer to the tv to make sure I was seeing things right

[@emeraldqueen1994]

22:17 slight correction, in the context of the story, PT is PHYSICAL THERAPY

[@Keokithederp]

16:27 i half expected the story to end with "he asked me to prove it and right then some 80+ old granny walks over and drives off with the offending car"

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

6:40 "I mentioned that the system usually isn't stable on friday and I have to fix it". You sure your reading comprehension is up to par, Mkay?

[@TheDarwinProject1]

"Ya, get fucked Mickey! Half expected after Jack's last part about how he gets anxious driving through the old suburb & regarding his old roommate, "He's just out there, somewhere, waiting in the bushes..." & for it to end with, "...Shia LaBeouf..."

[@hunnyfung5165]

Here’s what to do when your really sick just go to the boss and start coughing and acting like you carry the Black Death

[@mariminou]

I have emetophobia and work at a gymnastics centre... with kids. One time, a 3 year old was coughing really badly cause she had a cough, no big deal. In the middle of me explaining something, she started coughing, stood up, and threw up right in front of me (i'm guessing the coughing hit her gag reflex cause she was fine afterwards). I obviously had an anxiety attack and had to go collect myself, but the backlash was that, even though it's cold and cough season, i get very, VERY anxious whenever one of my students cough.

[@Tommorows-Dream]

You guys are amazing, i have issues sleeping, and eery single night i put on an emkay video, turn the brightness down and bam. the most relaxing thing ever. you are all so funny, and ngl you all have really nices voices. keep up the great work!

[@Pixelgamer-Intiny404]

But then the Mickey voice come out.”Fok you Mickey.”

[@andbelov]

I thought that a doctors note assumes that you're sick, you take your time to recover and you don't work at all. That's how it works in Europe, for example.

[@pennyforyourthots]

In the US, companies commonly ask for a doctor's note to _prove_ that you're sick so that they can verify you aren't "faking to get a day off". It's also used to get an estimate of the time you'll be out for, because they expect you back at work basically the day right after. It's not common to work while you're sick, but I'm not surprised that some work from home jobs expect you to work anyway. Workers protections are increasingly weak in the US, so if you hear something about the working conditions that sound awful and stupid, it's probably true.

[@Keksemann666]

Tbh, the pay more with card policy is understandable, the fees for the cards are actually pretty expensive.

[@ldkman.]

16:42 is that the SSSniperwolf bingo sheet made for jacksfilms

[@panzerwolf494]

Lol, you can't call in...WATCH ME! Honestly wish some coworkers were around when I did {sprays silver spray paint over mouth, picks up phone} WITNESS ME, BROTHERS!

[@LordTumnusTheDark]

As someone who works in tech: I guarantee they've mentioned why the meeting is postponed. In fact, I bet you they've been told almost daily each time the scheduling is brought up. I also guarantee planning and management just see "must be postponed" and stop reading.

[@Myself55]

CFO does have some pull, even they have to report to the CEO

[@wonderlanddedemonanastasi]

24:47 sounds like the start of a poem: "Floor signs, Door signs, More signs, YOUR signs!"

[@durk5331]

I don't have emetophobia, but I do have a severe reaction to seeing other people vomit, smelling vomit, or even smelling the chemicals janitors use to clean vomit... I have to fight vomiting myself for minutes afterwards, aka vomit causes extreme disgust in me rather than fear. And I absolutely Hate vomiting myself because of the feel and taste... Vomit is the absolute worst.

[@Tallion_of_Gondor]

This is second best to Damien cursed comments, Jack malicious compliance

[@empressmarowynn]

That asshole complaining about the store's credit card policy reminds me of a random bank patron I once ran into. I was getting some British bank notes in preparation for studying there and this dude talking with a teller next to me listened in and started giving me "advice." He said he always uses his card when travelling. I said yes I often do too but since I would be living there for several months there would be a number of instances where I would make small purchases, like a pack of gum or movie ticket. Every time I would use my card I would get hit with multiple fees. One was a foreign transaction fee that I was charged the same no matter the purchase. If you're buying a couple large items then a few extra dollars isn't much but if you're making a whole bunch of small purchases over months it adds up to a lot, which would be more than the one time transaction fee for the cash currency exchange. Plus at least back in 2005 there were a ton of places even in London that were cash only, or charged a really high fee for credit cards. And trying to use my debit card charged even more fees on top of the regular credit card ones. I just ended up turning away from the dude and ignoring him, plus he shouldn't have been eavesdropping on a person's banking information.

[@dustyoftwodunk]

"Hi im John Emkay the snack that smiles cotton lining"

[@AIHumanEquality]

John Emkay is constantly drunk from having to put up with his employees.

[@AuthorHoshiChan]

I had something like that first sickness, but was literally bed ridden for a month and a half, snd the rest of that second month i still felt sick, but finally had yhe strength to walk around more than 50 steps without coughing up a lung. I felt that so much.

[@Fruityflootloops]

15:17 As someone with invisible disabilities though this bothers me too

[@Cave_Enemigo]

5:31 "are you dealing with coma patients?" my lad, coma patients are dealt by tech engineers and such.

[@anacceptablename332]

okay this is going to sound very gen z of me but i’m genuinely curious of how people did business before computers. i’ve only known computers in the workplace/school so i don’t know how it’d be to work without one so how was it like to work without one? please don’t come at me for not being knowledgeable because every time i ask i get made fun of for being so young so i’ve never gotten an answer. ;-;

[@184Switch]

Depends on the job, a lot of it would be the same, but slower and more chance for mistakes. A lot of what computers do (calculations, storing all information in one place etc.) needed doing manually. So before cmputers you'd be writing down everything, manual stock counts, keeping every receipt filed away and the like. Computers made everything a lot simpler and more convenient.

[@anacceptablename332]

thank you!