Emotional Intelligence is a Superpower - Dr. Daniel Goleman || Finding Mastery

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“IQ, cognitive abilities are basically hardwired. They don’t really change that much through life… On the other hand, emotional intelligence is learned and learnable, and you can upgrade it at any point in life.” - Dr. Daniel Goleman
This week’s conversation is with trailblazing psychologist and author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Intelligence, Dr. Daniel Goleman.
Daniel has transformed the way the world educates children, relates to family and friends, and conducts business. Well-known for his work in leadership and education, Daniel is also a distinguished voice in the field of meditation. A meditator since his college days, Daniel spent two years in South Asia, first as a Harvard Predoctoral Traveling Fellow and then again on a Post-Doctoral Fellowship.
His first book, The Meditative Mind: The Varieties of Meditative Experience, was written on the basis of that research, offering an overview of various meditation paths. Daniel’s other books include: A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama’s Vision for Our World and Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain and Body. In this conversation, we discuss his key findings, frameworks, and insights around why emotional intelligence is foundational - and how you can develop it.
Chapters:
0:00 - Intro
3:30 - The Launch of Emotional Intelligence
6:40 - The 3 Parts of Emotional Intelligence
7:40 - The Dark Triad
9:30 - Caring and Compassion
11:00 - Great Coaches
12:20 - Coaching with Compassion
14:10 - Coaching with Direct Reports
15:00 - Sponsor Seed
18:20 - The Sport Frame
22:20 - Trainable
27:10 - General Learning Model
32:55 - How Do You Care
34:31 - Parental Care
35:26 - Making a Difference
37:03 - Aura Ring
38:36 - Magnesium Breakthrough
40:06 - Mental Judo
43:25 - The Critic
45:29 - The Data
46:50 - Mindfulness
48:28 - Being a loser
50:22 - Favorite Song Lyrics
51:48 - Bus Drive Story
53:43 - Philosophy
56:13 - Good Work
57:29 - What Do You Love
Website and shownotes: findingmastery.com/daniel-gol...
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[@alexg8460]

So a Lady today as I’m backing up into a parking space quickly accelerated and drive in it inches from my bumper . The place was packed I was upset got out of the car told her I’m trying to park. She said pretty much too bad it was 2 older ladies and at that point I understood why people go on a rampage and just loose their minds and do something that’s not worth it. Not because of a parking space but because of so much stress in their life and problems all at the same time and when you finally drive in somewhere and catch a break finding a quick spot and some one swoops in steals it , that right their is when people loose it I think. I managed to keep cool and didn’t escalate it because I’m very calm person but anyone else would have been on the news that night. Either way it wasn’t worth the fight , sometimes in these situations the best thing to do is be the bigger person and let it go 🙏.

[@conlawmeateater8792]

Thinking logically comes in handy when somebody is emotional. You're 2 steps ahead already. Even in a fight the losers is usually the one who is overly emotional since he's not watching vulnerability in the opponent or potential danger like a knife 🗡

[@maksim_arsic]

What if it was a big bodybuilder instead of grandma?

[@lanajthomasm.s.healthpsych7814]

My conscience and caring circuitry will always remind me. "It Is not about you, it never was. It is about the whole." It is a most important concept about my purposefulness here which is to serve others. Thank you, gentlemen.

[@michaelneal6589]

So I have never had a friend my entire life, I have never trusted people not to hurt me and no one has yet returned my efforts to change the way I feel. Attempts to connect have gone poorly. I am very happy to be on my own , recharge when I am not around other people. Being around people is VERY hard work. I GUESS THIS MAKES ME A LOSER.

[@smmlf676]

40:05 thank you for being so transparent! I found, the biblical practice of forgiveness is similar. To "master" forgiveness, one is required to go back to what Dr. Coleman spoke about, as self awareness. Without writing out a bible study guideline, the bible teaches a prayer that has a line that goes, "forgive us as we forgive those who wronged us...." the idea is, in order to forgive others, we first must be aware of our own character defects and frailty, and only when we're honest about ourselves, we can humbly give grace towards those who wronged us. I believe it is a rewarding practice over time-- for all parties involved. This is such an empowering and enlightening conversation. Thank you. I love the brain science behind loving kindness and human behavior. I'm definitely going to get the books that were mentioned.

[@andrymarcelrazafimanantsoa7181]

a wisemen, a peaceful minded person, thanks for sharing

[@designerssalonspa1163]

Omg I love this author. How good the world would be if there were more men like him🥰

[@tinytips4u]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/onW0eZiqaraehrc

[@mwise7960]

This was quite insightful. Dr Goleman is so warm! Well done, Mike!

[@khanhhoa8655]

Mình thích cuộc nói chuyện này nên nghe đi nghe lại 2 lần rồi. Hơn cả nội dung chính của cuộc hội thoại về Emotional intelligence là chính sự thông minh về cảm xúc của Dan được thể hiện một cách rất rõ ràng nhưng lại không hề phô chút nào. Mình thật ngưỡng mộ Dan, cách mà Dan tập trung vào lắng nghe những ggì Mike nói và đối thoại lại, rất tự nhiên mà đầy sự thông thái. Bên cạnh đó, Mike cũng khá tuyệt ở cách anh ấy rất chú trọng đến sự chính xác trong cách chọn từ ngữ để biểu đạt cảm xúc hay suy nghĩ của bản thân. Thể hiện đúng 1 người hiểu bản thân mình. Nhưng so với Dan thì Mike vẫn chưa đạt đến trình độ lắng nghe tốt như vậy, có thể là do quá tập trung vào bản thân mình, being mindful quá chăng?.

[@nn6179]

Such a great human being

[@AnnaMeleiyaMbiseTanzanian]

What great speakers! I loved the way two of them are so skilled and calm in taking us through EI matters

[@irenenwachukwu3267]

Absolutely Anna! I thought I was the only one who noticed their great communication style and deep listening on both sides. How they both genuinely connected with each other and with us their listeners.

[@johnmaher7860]

Fantastic interview well done guys- such a great interviewer and interviewee . Beautiful tone all the way through - great chemistry great questions- great simplicity- A1 !!!

[@reedoburrito7456]

Thank you!!

[@swtsoursup]

Really insightful, great discussion.

[@soniaedwards1083]

I got this book back in the early 2000's... Great stuff

[@annetoo1405]

This is amazing!

[@saeedbasabain4188]

Thanks for this meeting

[@DJSTOEK]

Thank you

[@FindingMastery]

Hope you enjoy this incredible discussion with Dr. Daniel Goleman! If you haven't yet, please make sure to subscribe to our channel and hit the notification bell beneath the video so you can get our next episodes and clips right away! Timestamps for episode: 0:00 - Intro 3:30 - The Launch of Emotional Intelligence 6:40 - The 3 Parts of Emotional Intelligence 7:40 - The Dark Triad 9:30 - Caring and Compassion 11:00 - Great Coaches 12:20 - Coaching with Compassion 14:10 - Coaching with Direct Reports 15:00 - Sponsor Seed 18:20 - The Sport Frame 22:20 - Trainable 27:10 - General Learning Model 32:55 - How Do You Care 34:31 - Parental Care 35:26 - Making a Difference 37:03 - Aura Ring 38:36 - Magnesium Breakthrough 40:06 - Mental Judo 43:25 - The Critic 45:29 - The Data 46:50 - Mindfulness 48:28 - Being a loser 50:22 - Favorite Song Lyrics 51:48 - Bus Drive Story 53:43 - Philosophy 56:13 - Good Work 57:29 - What Do You Love

[@infotainmentwithabdullah6260]

Great sir

[@bestwishes5353]

That’s amazing show ❤ keep it up

[@planetom2122]

I aspire to live in a way where my basic housing, health and nutritional needs are available to me without having to use most of my time as well as too much mental real estate working for someone else. And I don’t want to be a “leader” making people work for me in a system that caters to the greedy. I hold compassion for all but it’s hard when the reality is that selfish people get to decide how the world operates. Does anyone have any advice for me ? Namaste

[@kabitajoshi9538]

Thank you 🙏 ❤

[@aichabenmokrane3780]

I am teaching HRD module at uni in Algeria. EI is included in the syllabus. In fact, the pioneer Dr. Goleman is the source of what l'm looking for💕

[@l-74]

HRD, how many models you have and what is the headings for each of these modules.

[@Bill0102]

I'm spellbound by this. I read a book with similar content, and I was absolutely spellbound. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@paulshirley]

Some how the universe got me here.. Started few days ago as I prepared for an upcoming job interview. The interview is going to be a competency questions based around the 'star approach method'. After many hours and days, I was watching a particular video where the host mentioned 'emotional intelligence'. So going down the youtube rabbit hole, a video I watched mention Dr. Daniel Goleman. Okay, lets search for Dr. Daniel Goleman.. Now i've order the book 'emotional intelligence, why it can matter more than iQ. 🙂:EDIT.. Forgot to mention what I found funny, how you asked the Daniel Goleman 'how to be a good listener?' at the same time of interrupting him lol

[@conlawmeateater8792]

Probably because he wants to squeeze as much as possible in 1 hour without Daniel going on a ramble.

[@paulshirley]

I got the Job btw.. started 2 weeks ago.

[@ilovecardboard1009]

@@paulshirley that’s great, congratulations!!

[@peacerespect98]

👍Thanks.

[@Christina-cg4ig]

Thank you... 🪶💛

[@user-dk2ti9qu4y]

really loved this interview, both of thm are a really good quality people, congrats!!

[@tinytips4u]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/onW0eZiqaraehrc

[@captainalazharalyusof2902]

👀Competencies of Effective Leadership - Emotional Intelligence - The leader is ability to monitor their own and others emotions, discriminate among them, and use the information to guide his or her through and action. Integrity : the leader is truthfulness and tendency to translate works into deed's and self-confident - The leader is belief in their leaderships skills and ability to achieved objective. 👀

[@conlawmeateater8792]

There's moments when integrity is necessary and when it's not necessary. Depends on your beliefs on morality. If you're running for political office are you going to have integrity? No you can't. There's different ruled for different games in life.

[@janelliot5643]

@@conlawmeateater8792 piffle. That's not integrity, that's a compromised split

[@TENSTradingCC]

Super

[@planetom2122]

“Teamwork” isn’t as common as one individual (or small group) exploits the labor of a smaller group. A small percent “wins” and the large group of labors (all of us) end up with lots of wisdom but social mobility is still inaccessible

[@tinytips4u]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/onW0eZiqaraehrc

[@andreafuzzi9484]

frontman can be quick counting to have n.10 more or less on the left and n.7 about ten meters on the right,with mutual tension towards scoring goal or winning assist(no vulnerability,empathy or doubt,just enthusiastic straightforwardness)

[@dubaiparamount8468]

TOP EI HOLD BY PROPHET MOHAMMED (PBUH) JUST READ IT U WILL LOVE IT N FEEL SO POWERFULLY

[@pauldiahy167]

So how do you develop it

[@radhuchristian8406]

IF YOU Will give your life for another OR between an alien & human Spiritual Developmentyou'll chose first, You will Love Unconditionally without Pack Emo. Conditioning.

[@ariazli4241]

❤

[@lgolden4999]

Here is a question that is never asked to or addressed by people who advocate for this ideology: How do you open up to loving and caring for EVERYONE (as you mention, in the same way as you care for your children) without personally getting hurt, feeling responsible for the other person's decisions or even feeling desperately powerless in being able to help them in any meaningful way? Go live in a third world country where you see pain and suffering every day and you can do nothing about it, and then tell me how you can open yourself to caring for each and every person you meet, letting others in and losing yourself in other's problems that you can never resolve but have to feel their pain and suffering. This is a sure formula to go crazy

[@smmlf676]

Loving everyone at full capacity doesn't mean we will resolve all their problems or remove all suffering and pain in the world. It's simply what it is. Love them. Accept and respect their choices. Do what you can to your best. If we came across millions of hungry people and were only able to feed one. We would be one less hungry person. This is not to say, the rest doesn't matter; but that loving who we come across, means we serve with compassion to the best of our ability.

[@maleficentmistressofevil28]

@@smmlf676 beautiful answer! Beautiful reply ❤ This is exactly my way of thinking! Blessings 😘❤

[@planetom2122]

The world has enough resources and land and it hurts my heart so much to see how the selfish get to decide who receives and who doesn’t.

[@greganton7874]

Try giving this a listen search The Game of Life and How to Play it. Helped me answer these same questions, and it's an old book that speaks in many different ways on this.

[@saidnur1243]

I'm working for an international organization helping refugees around the world. Personally, I believe that only LOVE can save us as human beings! There is one RACE : we are all brothers and sisters, leaving in the same global village called Earth!

[@brunoel-khoury6060]

Cognitive empathy, Emotional empathy, Empathic empathy should be pretty much dependent on personality types. People with high Thinking traits vs. Feeling traits have an extremely low Empathy.

[@janelliot5643]

Too simplistic! People who are more balanced in T/F can be very high in empathy

[@brunoel-khoury6060]

I said people with high T vs. F eg. T15 vs. F2 have low Empathy

[@izzyfknreal8010]

downside here ADS two times???? lol

[@sisisisi6]

47:10 Mindfulness is part of Eastern Religion and if your teammates don’t want to practice it, it’s understandable and shouldn’t be pushed on them. Similarly, you wouldn’t want a Christian who r a Muslim to push their beliefs n you.

[@brunoel-khoury6060]

Team members who are not ready to participate are NOT psychologically ready because of their levels for change. Nothing to do with losers.

[@SDGwynn]

Yeah. Saying they’re losers who don’t get to be part of the bigger picture betrays a lack of confidence or trust in the benefit or efficacy of the practice.

[@uzawtun9933]

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[@mdsorifulislamtutul2693]

I want to talk to you. do you have time

[@user-ek8gq7pp6n]

That’s amazing show keep it up. Such a great human being.

[@TravisCBarker]

The non transition to advertising is too much. I couldn't finish the interview

[@tinytips4u]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/onW0eZiqaraehrc

[@jocadell7467]

Really enjoyed this and was engrossed then suddenly the subject matter changed entirely - an ad??? Put me off so stopped listening

[@tinytips4u]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/onW0eZiqaraehrc

[@peytonbrown8037]

My greatest happiness is the $65,000 bi-weekly pr'ofit I get consistently from my $10,000 investment despite the economic fluctuations

[@syscabmcommunity3368]

Emotional damage..

[@jeszone]

Oh man! You are wiser than Goleman?..you just can't stop talking man!. Why not listen to Goleman's insights? You cut him off by interferings with your nonsense!.

[@swalikswaley4583]

The topic is "Emotional Intelligence" and i am afraid you have lost it already.😊

[@rajeshrajan4464]

😂

[@TENSTradingCC]

Super

[@psiloysepogiam]

❤