Secret Dump

[@donovanalexmylander6851]

No one laughed at moshe saying I can quit anytime I just don’t want to that is classic 12 step humour come on give the guy a laugh

[@Dumballa]

Love the guest appearing on Secret Dump

[@heyitsfionamae]

A note from a porn performer who was a guest on this show…. I gotta weigh in on the convo about porn ruining connections during sex, and if it's cheating to sub to an onlyfans and not tell your partner. There is a MASSIVE array of porn online. From the stereotypical stuff that's degrading to women, queer people, BIPOC people, etc, to couples having a kink and just wanna film themselves and publish it, to people really making really artistic quality choices and putting it out in festivals. Just like someone who is obsessed with shooter video games but doesn't actually want to shoot people all the time, it doesn't mean that people who watch porn regularly want the fantasies they're watching in real life. And the question of "is it cheating to pay for onlyfans". If you don't find it cheating for people to watch porn for free, why would it be cheating to pay the person getting naked on the internet as their JOB?? Guys. Come on! Me and my ex Alex are porn performers on onlyfans and you had us on your show! Please don't put out the narrative that guys watching porn for free is inevitable, but paying for it is not okay. I know for a fact I've brought couples together with my porn and camming! I've had couples watch together, I've had people discover new interests and kinks and present it to their partners! I've had people question their gender identity or sexual orientation and scared to talk to their partners about it yet. I'm not saying this industry is perfect and wholesome and no one is effected by porn in negative ways, but PLEASE don't put out the narrative that porn is inherently bad, and especially that it's not okay to pay for it! I gotta say it really disappointed me and Alex listening to that :( And BTW, long before I did sex work, I watched porn alone and had fun with it and found some really awesome ethical stuff. Women watch porn too! And I know many men who don't. And queer people. Let's stop gendering it. Also in terms of Beth expecting statistics, I just want to say I know this topic really well not only as a sex worker, but as a certified trauma counsellor who's worked for years in shelters with abused women and queer folks, and abusive cis guys who are in prison. K I'm done. Thanks!

[@presharpened]

Thanks for speaking up! I was cringing during that whole discussion. Beth has the worst type of arguments here- zero nuance. Moshe telling her that he and Natasha have a very healthy sex life and Beth saying that maybe if he stopped watching porn for two weeks he'd be more attracted to his wife? What??

[@Zvox]

very good takes here that whole conversation annoyed me so much. the idea that i'd have to consult my partner before paying for a $10 onlyfans subscription or some shit is completely deranged, as is the idea that simply watching porn has the capacity to instantly break your brain and ruin your ability to form meaningful and healthy relationships just because porn is porn.

[@Olivierstreet]

Indeed. I think subscribing is fine, interacting and requesting specifics is probably not ok

[@jpierce2l33t]

@@presharpened yeah especially when she states at the beginning that she never even *wants* to get married and the longest relationship she's been in is 3 years...like why is she even weighing in on this then?! Lol 🤦‍♂️

[@jpierce2l33t]

@Fiona Mae completely agree. The most exciting part of porn to me is the fantasy, that's what makes it great! The video game analogy is spot freaking on, great comment!

[@LambentBoleyn]

Yeah, completely agree with Moshe on this one (sorry Natasha and Beth). I really enjoyed how Moshe was able to make his points despite constantly being interrupted. He’s very unflappably patient that way. Also, I think it would help to have someone weigh in on this who actually subscribe to only fans. There’s a lot of assumptions being made without having the experience to back it up.

[@bryanminugh9680]

memory amplifies the pleasant times of past loves and blurries the unpleasant, leading to the Nostalgia he recalls in his head during "alone time".

[@mrmikethomas]

Moshe, I love that your really taking on method acting now & congrats on the Harry Potter role

[@GooDLeaF6]

They should have an onlyfans girl on to explain it to them lol. Whenever they talk about it, they have no idea what it is😂

[@jpierce2l33t]

Way to hold your own Moshe, I agree

[@erintheokay]

I knew Natasha was tiny but is Moshe the smallest, too? Beth looks like a beautiful, hilarious, wonderful giant here.

[@jasonjason2789]

Mosha always seems so open minded when other have a knee-jerk response to topics

[@JDMimeTHEFIRST]

he's not more open just because his opinion is different 😂. That makes no sense. One could argue that Beth is more open. Her response is well thought out and also anchored in studies of addiction and intimacy. I do disagree about kink being the same as porn. Kink actually helps a lot of people deepen relationships. The problem is many people pretend to be into kink in order to abuse women. Abuse and kink aren't the same. Feminist doms only.

[@Olivierstreet]

@@JDMimeTHEFIRST Beth isn’t even open to porn.

[@donovanalexmylander6851]

And a lot of people pretend to be into kink to please some one else or make some one else happy even when they are making themselves extremely unhappy and uncomfortable. Communication consideration respect ……moshe’s response seems a little knee jerk and reactionary which usually happens when something is hitting the sharp thing supposed to be holding things together on the head

[@casshebert99]

he actually responded more emotionally in tone than beth did, but ok

[@gingerhitzke9185]

I just realized how close to the ground the couch is.

[@ckyleu]

I don't think I need to listen to this episode, because I can just use my imagination

[@mattpr_co]

Moshe isn't quite right about OnlyFans. Think of it as Patreon for video. You don't necessarily pay for personalized content or DMs. You pay a fee for access to what someone posts: photos/videos. Then they usually ask for more money for special content. Maybe that does include personalized content or interaction, but not the main subscription fee. It's a way to support performers. Where the Tube sites are like Spotify for porn.

[@courtneynichols5060]

Natasha’s yawn at 13:55 in 🤣😂👏🏻👏🏻

[@nonchalantd]

That doggo is just laying there like a couch cushion. =D

[@peterm6179]

like must things it's in the middle. Both make great points.

[@bubabina_rRr]

Is cutie okay??? He never returned after the fall

[@catherinep7349]

This was maybe one of the most frustrating episodes I’ve listened to and it was hard to keep listening. I think Beth’s perspective was a little off and judgmental. It sounded like it was coming from a deep insecurity that was really triggering her

[@insomniacx33]

I agree! I like coming to comments to make sure I'm not totally crazy because I was so put off by her argument. I liked her on the podcast otherwise but this argument was hard to get through.

[@LuisDiazArtist]

She's got an idealistic perspective that says more about her than the porn as a healthy tool for masturbation and helping with anxiety/sleep. There are things wrong with the world and we are kidding ourselves that getting rid of "blank" will make the world a better place. What is bad for one person doesn't mean it is bad for someone else. If you get rid of something that you think will make the world a better place what is it to stop hundreds/thousands/millions to stop every aspect of the human experience leaving us with absolutely nothing, but a blank world that is dull and not worth living. The good thing about America is that you can choose. There are winners and losers in that the equation, but it is better than any other scenario,

[@jacobkolody1541]

Love that Beth Stehling has an equally vast vocabulary to Moshe so that Moshe can’t just big-word-confuse the other person into winning the argument on this episode.

[@Olivierstreet]

🫤

[@ayeeshahm9078]

I liked that too. She held her own and didn't capitulate or move on like Natasha tends to

[@robgoodfellow]

Beth Stelling is amazing and brilliant.

[@insomniacx33]

Really liked Beth on the episode as she seemed very aware of herself and spoke so eloquently ... BUT, her generalization that porn is overall harmful to relationships was not it and clearly came from a place of bias. I hope they see these comments (and the really insightful comment from FIona!) because I think it's really hurtful and ignorant.

[@Olivierstreet]

Woah!! Can’t believe I’m on Moshe’s side 5mins in. Is Beth fucking actual 20 year olds ??

[@dardarfisher]

Beth is my favorite!

[@gal1885]

I agree with Beth 100%

[@chelsealee7667]

Look, love you Beth, but damn. All porn is not automatically degrading and evil. Most might be trash, and certainly used to be in the mainstream. But now you can find exactly what you’re looking for - loving consensual partners of real people just filming themselves. Like anything, some people can have deeply harmful and problematic relationships with porn or specific kinds of porn and others can have a totally balanced and healthy relationship with it. And relationships that last also cycle and have seasons. More or less libido or time or privacy and many find porn as a great tool and not a replacement for connection with their partner.

[@wtt2108]

24:29 🤣🤣🤣

[@pauljoseph8338]

It depends…if an OF (or Chaturbate) subscription involves a one on one, intimate, dialogue with the model, then yes…it may detract from the IRL intimacy with a partner. If one is looking for validation or intimacy from an online personality, it is definitely an indication of a deteriorating relationship. Sorry, Tosh.

[@marisaflores7830]

Pablo starting at 11:35 and 13:55 ❤️

[@natalieevenew]

PREACH BETH!

[@rachel_rexxx]

"Daddy" is most definitely NOT about incest. It's a sub/dom thing for those of us uncomfortable with calling someone master

[@conormcnagger4703]

Speak for yourself skank

[@mangowashington]

WOULD LOVE YAMANEIKA SAUNDERS ON HERE!!!

[@46NorthAve]

i didn’t rewind to watch mayor cutie falling off the couch 3x. that would be terrible.

[@cozygirlfriend]

omg whats the time stamp

[@camhabibi2217]

Beth is my favorite comedian from Dayton. Go Flyers!

[@katiedutton3961]

Was 'premise' the drinking word of the night?

[@Giverne1]

Hmm...I gotta say, with due respect Beth has a VERY specific premise for how "normal" sex initiates that makes all other mutually exclusive. It's not taking into account that individuals have an internal relationship with themselves that they have to tend to. I think it's better to track and be aware of how you're using porn and what kind of space it provides to feel in touch with yourself rather than be fixated on the content that other people are watching for their own personal reasons. Just my two cents.

[@krissybartus4315]

Moshe is such an ideal partner lol

[@sirtorchington]

I think the girls tried to do a topic swap on Moshe near the top of the episode to try and prove some phantom issue with p*rn that isn't entirely true. You can see Natasha's demeanor go south from the moment Mosh said he pictures past partners while masturbating lmao they were really trying to make him out to be the bad guy seemingly just because. Good points were made tho good discussion

[@Pandi-Fackler]

Completely agree with Beth that porn can be a slippery, destructive force when it comes to genuinely intimate relationships with other people. And Onlyfans especially feels like at least a gateway to a soft (one sided mind you) form of cheating because the content is often custom and based on request from subscribers which in many ways obviously, is more intimate than just regular porn. And Moshe, people have been talking about this for years. There was even a high profile piece in the Wall Street Journal about porn and it’s effects on our relationships a few years ago written by Pamala Anderson and Rabbi Shmuley Boteach of all people

[@LuisDiazArtist]

It feels like an ex-girlfriend who used to tell me I was only allowed to fantasize about her. It sounds very immature and not really understanding how the man's mind/nature works and not to mention it sounds very entitled. I do agree Onlyfans (which I don't have though when single bought for 1 month) is closer to cheating depending on how you use it. Besides it's expensive if you want a lot of variation. No one is changing the way men work. I dod think watching a lot of porn can desensitize you like watching a lot of horrible reality videos of stuff. Everything in moderation is good and I think that is the theme to being healthy in life. Saying one thing bad and if you eliminate it it will bring you closer to your partner is B****t.

[@For_The_Watch]

Aren’t there more people than ther have ever been in the world?

[@bryanminugh9680]

Yup..most of the people that have ever been born are alive right now.

[@goodpeople9296]

The best 2 guests you need to have on the show... 1. Neal Brennan 2. Jim Carrey

[@ckyleu]

We do need a Champs reunion...

[@mangowashington]

BETH IS THE BEST!!!!

[@godzuka]

expeerament, lol

[@DavidHaydenFreeThinker]

Quite possibly the most judgy episode yet.

[@janerock2718]

Right??? I couldn’t believe how judgy Beth was!! I love her so much! I was so surprised!

[@GoAskAlexOnline]

It was very disappointing. If you listened to episode #185, Fiona and I were the two OnlyFans models who spoke with Moshe, Natasha, and John Early. It really surprised me to hear the hypocritical opinions they expressed on sex work... especially after they specifically requested more sex workers call into the show. It definitely adds to the stigma surrounding sex and sexuality (and paying for porn!)

[@janerock2718]

@@GoAskAlexOnline Ah man. :\ I can only imagine how disappointed you just feel ): At least Moshe was supportive and really non judgmental. I honestly think Beth will look back on this in 10 years and realize what she said is not quite right.

[@donovanalexmylander6851]

Oh man, life seems like it’s so disappointing for you . What a hard and courageous road you decided to travel. We commend you for your bravery. Oh hmmph and after they requested more sex workers call in too . Oh man life sounds like it just keeps giving you mountains that you turn into speed bumps along the way. I bet when some one has a different opinion from you or disagrees with anything you say or do or has their own beliefs that aren’t yours it really is such a hard day for you. Your group should register for hate group status and start charities to dig wells and help you guys get clean water and Shoes for your toddlers so they don’t die of disease that should be eradicated. I bet when you see real suffering it makes you feel bad that you feel uncomfortable and really disappointed that you had to see that life isn’t easy and the way you think it should be. All these poor only fans hosts have such a hard time with their chosen profession that I think we should all feel really bad for them and stroke them. Yeah like that. Just like that. Now harder. Their disappointed some one had a different opinion than them stroke them yeah that’s right poor baby disappointed by a pod cast discussion that said things you didn’t want them to say poor baby

[@scorpiodorpio1478]

I don't think Beth was being judgy. She's allowed to have an opposing opinion to Moshe's. Not everyone has to LOVE porn. I'm also pretty sure she said that she doesn't judge it, but it would be nice to use your imagination instead of just using porn as a tool. Both are great but anything in excess is not. Which is why she equated it to alcohol.

[@ashleyromero5302]

It’s annoying how Moshe is the only logician here. He can step back and take emotion out of the analysis

[@Dantes_kiddo]

It's like listening to a podcast with professional comedians, it makes you realize how boring you and your friends are and everyone would be better off keeping that bar nice n low

[@natduarte8]

I agree with Beth, porn normally has a bad impact on relationships/sexuality and almost any therapist would agree on that. Moshe, you are probably addicted in porn AND coffe. And it would be great if you did this experiment of two weeks (or a month actually) without porn and told us what changed in your life and relationship.

[@ayeeshahm9078]

Moshe was a bit too defensive and didn't really let Beth's perspective marinate. There is actually research to back up her position that intimacy has degenerated greatly due to the dissociation and de-personalization of sex in porn, not to add that the porn industry is also built on the exploitation of women and contributes to trafficking etc. The industry is a literal human sweat shop and very unethical.

[@marshacirrito100]

😍😍😍

[@timpeddycord7220]

I didn’t realize Beth Stelling was a 15 year old male incel

[@sarahthomson8183]

Mosha might have an issue with porn. Just sayin.

[@mitchgoodrich9192]

Let's GOOOO

[@jpierce2l33t]

Relationship advice from someone who admittedly doesn't want to get married...and who's longest relationship has been 3 years? Ok

[@donovanalexmylander6851]

It’s ok that you feel insecure. Also, a woman’s vagina has very little feeling and if you continue to tryto pile drive her unto nutting and it’s not happening,….. try try again

[@noramuldowney2721]

Because all her exes watched porn duh

[@JHavens99]

Beth is right

[@thinkforward8752]

It's so annoying to hear whenever women refer to skinny women as being a standard of beauty for men. I've never, in all my 52 years alive, EVER heard a man say that skinny women are hot/attractive 💯 Most of us dig healthy bodies with soft, fleshy curves 💯 Stop it with the skinny women stuff already, lol...sheesh!

[@donovanalexmylander6851]

There are many men who call women fat who are healthy average size 8 , many men who tell women you are mmm would be so hot if you lost 5-10 pounds those big titted round assed girls , there are men who tell their wives that they cheated because they gained weight. All of that has nothing to do with why they say that , neither does what you said. If you look at anything in our society for the past 100 years or more, schools, home, media, messages from everywhere it’s that the ideal is a certain way they use it to sell things and tell people what they want- what you want is great but it doesn’t mean that is what the message is or what many many other men see or have been taught to see or have learned to see as ideal

[@donovanalexmylander6851]

It’s so annoying when people use their own experience to define what everyone else sees and feels and what life is like since it’s that way in their head , as if they preferences could change the way life is and will continue to be or as if their annoyances should be considered by moshe and tosh blah

[@thinkforward8752]

@@donovanalexmylander6851 You re-wrote that *encyclopedia* you'd first posted (thank you, GOD🙏), and you're *still* not without errors 🤡

[@donovanalexmylander6851]

Think foreword i mistakes therefore I am ….. me thinks you think backwards …….. oh thank God - I’m rubbing one out to my bullshit bothering you and you hurrying to comment on it ……. I take that as a compliment, oh also I’m too dumb to know what you mean rewrote ??? Can you explain that ? Idk what that means? I no smart ….. that was me talking silly not a mistake but I hope there are some mistakes in there so you can feel good I’m happy I made you grateful to the big guy smooches

[@donovanalexmylander6851]

Reply to my own reply ( is that what you meant to me rewriting ???) anyways clown emoji thankful to god for my mistakes new friend !!!! I’m excited to get your reply I’ve been hiding in the subway system pouring pee on people waiting for you to come along and then hallelujah you thank god for my mistakes and here I am flawed and slack jawed and ready to be pawed

[@donovanalexmylander6851]

It’s biology and animalistic Beth it doesn’t need to have all this extra behind it , it’s not that serious chick

[@BlackAllMightX]

Porn isn't that serious, ladies. Guys just need the release.

[@lordrex71]

Perhaps Beth needs to get married, settle down and be a battle axe (respectfully) for some guy, it seems like Hollywood isn't for her anymore

[@donovanalexmylander6851]

I’m glad this podcast showed Natasha and moshe who their fans are . I wish I was still ignorant of who they are because this comment section made me jizz in my pants and then not want to be one of you anymore(respectfully)

[@marmar19890]

Third leg labia