Enemy: Your Wounded Inner Child

[@v9b23j]

I stopped wasting my time engaging with adult tantrums, often fueled by their cognitive distortions. It's useless to validate their feelings, acknowledge their unmet needs while trying to find common ground through negotiation and compromise, because they aren't interested. They are only interested in having their needs met no matter what, and if you don't, you are vilified. While I have empathy for their wounded inner child, I'm neither their caregiver nor their parent.

[@1RecluseBrown]

I reparented myself through EMDR, hypnosis, and CBT with a skilled therapist here out West. My CPTSD from family and Iraq has been cured.

[@ishoboi8021]

Were the sessions in english ? And does this person do remote sessions?

[@1RecluseBrown]

They were English, and I regret to say that my therapist is now seventy years old, retired, and moving to Mexico with his wife in two months. He had a very long career serving military, veterans, and trauma survivors. I was lucky to find him.

[@hashh2019]

@@1RecluseBrowncould he recommend someone he knows?

[@1RecluseBrown]

I don't know, off hand. I will try to contact him.

[@hashh2019]

@@1RecluseBrown thank you!!

[@michaelbullen3104]

My parents were both like this. I ended up so messed up because I was essentially raised by adult children but now in just 5 years of being out of my mother’s home I realized just how fast I grew up in comparison to them and how I got so good at parenting myself early on. I had an adult like worldview even as a small child, which is something they STILL do not have themselves. And now the few bits of childlike behaviour I have left in my brain, those urges to feel like a child again in any way, I’ve killed almost all of them now. I’m secure enough in my childhood to be able to have some toys from my childhood still in my home lmao but I’m absolutely not the kind of person that will just coop up and regress like my parents. Hate that shit with a burning passion. Neither of them even make an ATTEMPT to better themselves in any way. There’s a difference between being in touch with your inner child and actually BEING your inner child. Don’t ever allow yourself to be like that. Grow up at ALL costs. I’m honestly glad my father was abusive because he gave me an incredibly early reality check in life and it’s that both my parents are people I don’t want to idolize ever. All of this stuff I’m still trying to process years later. I now realize I was the only one there that had a shred of sanity or urge to change

[@marzena7247]

Dysfunctional children raising dysfunctional children. This was amazing. Cannot thank you enough for your work.

[@rbizzle18]

i work with several children disguised as adults and i recently noticed something. when i work with these people, i narrate what i'm doing, and i make a bunch of random sound effects. i realized that i am cooing at these babies like a mother would. it's actually insane that in order to keep these people from going into a catatonic state i would have to do these things. object permanence much? lol i should be charging for this service.

[@dirtyadventure8481]

This should be the first video people must watch when they find your channel, it’s that good.

[@RobinHenson-of8cf]

I fully agree!! The very best.

[@bobbydogstone8526]

After watching this video I had to watch Radio Head's "Creep".... A very good example of a tormented inner child.

[@zusunny2976]

Extremely useful information

[@cn728]

As someone who has PTSD from long term abuse I greatly appreciate this teaching. I'm learning things about myself.

[@DilfuzaKHaydarova-e1p]

Thank you so much Dear Professor Sam Vaknin

[@soundscapes4619]

Very helpful. Thank you Professor Sam Vaknin.

[@gracetoglory5020]

I appreciate you and really admire your contribution ❤️

[@L.O-p5r]

Thank you professor ! As always giving us gems.

[@louise6943]

OMG, you explained my father in a nutshell. 80% adult, 20% child, like multiple personalities. But how should you interact with the person when the child behaviours start showing up? Like disproportinate aggressiveness, passive aggressiveness, grumpiness, sulkiness etc? Getting up and leavibg, showing disapproval etc only leads to more negative emotions. How do you interact in a healthy way with someone who has unrealustic demands and who has no access to the adult personality in these matters?

[@toto-dh9dw]

I did put strong boundries. No means no.. was kind enough to carryy on by myself but also knowladge that this person is like that allowed me not to take personally their difficulties.. it can be draining butoerhaps to find activitt in wich u can connect....in a positive way so you to hate person and dont build resentment. To tolerate them...challange their behaviour in the nice way but stand your grounds. I learnt that ages ago did not believe it but working in prison wisj such babies allowed me to function properly wothout loosing my sh***** or myself and just smile and be nice to them.. good skill to have

[@curlyhair5396]

Thank you professor! On another note, it's a nice image seeing you drinking from the Minnie mouse mug while talking about the wounded inner child ❤

[@TheBumpdjs]

Best inner child explanation I’ve ever heard. Thankyou for bringing clarity and synthesising IFS through to Freud. Genius as usual Vaknin - your summation across modalities is contemporary, unique and brilliantly insightful..

[@erinsylv2098]

I think about something and prof talks about it. It’s like he knows what I’m thinking about or maybe I have been watching his videos for too long. Thank you for covering this topic.

[@JK-ft2rs]

YOU show up inside my skull when the narcissist malware is overpowering me and you yell at me "SHOSHANIM COME ON! YOU HAVE TO FIGHT BACK. He's a virus - theres nothing there...and when I do fight back, you start to cheer which is weird.. bc you cant do that in real life. Oh well. Maybe you hacked me too...good hack against bad hack

[@risong9872]

Thankque for your guide

[@saradwyer2451]

Prof thank u for ur content!!! It has saved my life ❤️🙏🏻

[@rosablu5936]

In this video You go very deep in the psychological processes and that’s admirable because it’s very comprehensive .

[@_7.8.6]

Sulking is the WORST part for me when dealing with adult children

[@NancyDecker-u8g]

Thank you for another great study

[@CampChoctawVacationGirl]

You're correct, yet again, Doc!🙄 I am absolutely DONE! Done, as in avoidance of the untrustworthiness of reality! Total schizoid!😵‍💫

[@abie3723]

I'm grateful for this video 🌹

[@annazes1201]

now it's time to do homework. thanks

[@karlopetrovic3733]

Sam this video is gold

[@sepoulimiyefet6782]

Woaaow!!!! Impressive... I have experienced these with a few people family and intimate relationships that have failed...

[@jessicadorsey8483]

Very good. Thank you.

[@justg1977]

I find they also meet their needs by watching false narratives and game shows that include manipulation... Survivor... Big Brother, Traitors, The Challenge, etc.

[@soundscapes4619]

This really hits home. I need a drink 🥃now!

[@1981Elpbaba1981]

Wow! Thank you!

[@stefanieblackie7264]

This was super helpful, thank you ❤

[@jasminpilipovic4570]

I have 2 little sons as a single dad. But I’m so messed up and have a wounded child nene child. What sucks is I can see me doing this to my sons. I’m trying to stop myself but idk how to get help with this. I wish more solutions were given at the end.

[@Victoria-qc9vw]

If you pass it on to your kids, just accept that you're weak-spirited (= loser)

[@michepreneur]

So relationships should be, grow up, and meet another grown-up? Now I know where I've been going wrong. 😂

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

26:45 My current internal dynamic

[@xochitl7489]

Me chas gracias

[@tinabendz7501]

… I guess this one is for me 😉❤️👍

[@juliallorente2719]

Hello Professor, could you relate this to gender roles? I am a woman and I get so disappointed when the man I am interested doesn't offer to provide. I am really disgust by it and I know I am too busy to reciprocate with the women traditional role, also I like to have a career. Providers do not want me, I do not like no providers or protectors.. what to do? I wish I could just embrace feminism but I cant. My parents pushed me to be independent since very early age, and I resent them, and and I had a twin sister who was stronger than me, I was basically living in a shadow. My question comes because being femenine is almost be like a child, and I miss that reference in your videos.

[@nothingnessnonarcissism]

Watch the contemporary sexuality playlist on my main channel.