Ep 11C: Prepare Your Child Custody Trial Testimony - Psychological Development & Parental Guidance

[@FatherX2022]

I highly recommend you go to Google to search and read psychology articles on a child's psychological development, emotional development, and social development. Even if it's for just 3 hours. The stuff you learn will help you prepare your child custody case, and speak like a knowledgeable parent...far more knowledgeable than any family lawyer or judge.

[@saeedjarbu2887]

I went today and attempted to file a TPO just so that I could get in front of a judge and show him the evidence that I have.. he didn't even look at the evidence, he told me none of that was his jurisdiction, and he commended me for my effort to get my son back because he said most people don't do that nowadays, but unfortunately, He couldn't help me and highly recommended that I get a lawyer. My question to him was what is the difference if I have a lawyer or not I have the evidence? You just won't look at it from my hands you want it to come from the hands of a lawyer? And then he gave me some story about how he let a pedophile get custody of a child, not knowing that he was a pedophile, and that the guy was not charged for molesting his own son, and that he hated himself because he could never undo the judgment that he made.. I'm like dude that has absolutely nothing to do with my story and then he kindly asked me to leave the courtroom

[@FatherX2022]

It sounds like you are getting the run around and they are coming up with silly excuses. Did you go to a family court judge to get the TPO? Maybe if you went to a civil court judge, that would be outside their jurisdiction., *Recommending a lawyer is silly because many people go to family court to get a TPO without a lawyer. "Get a lawyer" is a typical canned response these family court people use, to pretend they gave you legitimate advice, even though they are not helping at all. They're just passing the buck. * Also, if he let somebody get custody of a child...then this is clearly something he does as part of his job, and it IS his jurisdiction. *It doesn't make sense that he made a bad decision once with a father, and now he can't give any fathers a TPO. Think about how many times a mother automatically gets a TPO for false allegations...and the mother is the actual abuser. Why doesn't he say that he made mistakes giving the mother custody and that he won't give a mother custody again? The logic has to go both ways, or else it's gender discrimination. And each case is supposed to be different, so he has to assess the situation instead of automatically ruling against you because you're a dad. *Overall, this judge's logic makes no sense to me. At the very least he should have said "the correct court room to go to is XYZ." *I wonder if you have to file the petition again in a different courtroom with a different judge. Maybe you have to call the courthouse and ask "where do I file a TPO?"

[@saeedjarbu2887]

@@FatherX2022 thank you so much for your advice and it was a desperate move for me and I didn't really have high hopes about it, but I thought it was worth a shot to go down there and just see what I could find out and basically he recommended that I go to file for emergency child custody hearing, but he said it without really saying it and wished me luck.. not to mention he refused to take action about any of the crimes I brought to his attention that she had committed, and I had evidence of, but he told me that was not his jurisdiction that I need to file police reports.. so I told him I already did and then he asked me what became and I told him nothing.. he just shook his head and told me to keep trying it was 430 and he was ready to go home so he wanted me out of there ASAP so he literally asked me to leave like "OK well you can leave now"

[@FatherX2022]

Yes, that makes sense. Watch my Episode 2A and 2B. The court and government are very structured in terms of the processes of who does what. If you want to have the mother arrested for crimes, you have to file police reports and go to the district attorney (it doesn't start with a judge). And many police and DA's hesitate to arrest women, so you have to push them to do that. Be persistent. BUT....if you want the mother's crimes to be evidence that she is not fit to parent, that's an entirely different process. You would file for custody in family court, and part of your petition would discuss her crimes, and you would testify at your trial about how her crimes make her unfit to parent. Try to keep all of these things separate in your head. Think of: "Is this a criminal proceeding? Or a civil lawsuit between 2 parents? And what am I asking the court to do, exactly? And does the court have the power to do that?" Best of luck to you, brother! I'm glad you're watching my content, and learning. It's not easy.

[@saeedjarbu2887]

Only love can give us this knowledge... my most sincere thank you

[@FatherX2022]

👍🙏

[@cukara666]

My ex has been controlling the narrative by saying she is in a DV shelter during hearings. I don't know if she is going to claim during the custody trial coming up now that I was abusing her or the children as I have done neither. In reality she was the abusing the children. My 5 year old daughter tells me her mother is pulling her ears, hitting her back side and legs so that it doesn't look like its from going to the park. My daughter also tells me her mother has told her not to say anything because she will get arrested. I got CPS involved but they were biased. They even called me once to say they were going to refer me to anger management because according to their investigation they found several police reports where my ex was the victim. I responded by telling them "That doesn't make sense. I filed the police reports as the perpetrator? Did you read the police reports?" The CPS case worker responded by saying "I guess I have to read it better". The case ended coming up as unfounded. I have recordings of my daughter accusing her mother of abuse but people tell me that it will only make me look bad as the judge will see it as I'm coaching my children. I'm lost and don't know what else to do.

[@FatherX2022]

It is customary for these people in family court to just assume that by default the woman must be the victim and the man must have anger management issues. They usually assume this without thinking. So if they are wrong you have to show them that they're wrong. Many of them will try to discourage you from bringing forward the truth. And honestly I think it's because they just don't want to deal with learning the truth and dealing with it. If you know you are in the right then you have to advocate for yourself in the face of all these people who don't want to listen. Stay strong and speak your truth.

[@PhilipX2030]

From our conversation, department of children and families agent Douglas lied for 30 minutes straight in court. I have a recording and transcript. She was unprofessional to determine the truth by asking questions of the father, just accepted whatever the mother had said, and showed anti-father bias when I described the situation in detail with photos, and she called me a liar to my face. So bizarre, and so inappropriate for a state officer. I immediately contacted the ombudsman and we spoke for about an hour, but he did nothing. You must have someone to hold these agents accountable. Then, I went to the assistant commissioner... He also felt himself to not be responsible for anything. **Now I'm going to department of children and families HR / human resources department to find out "just exactly what their job descriptions are" that I can clarify to the court that they are having dereliction of duty to the detriment of my children. -as the actions of DCF has caused a significant obstacle from me to be reunited with my children, and full rights as a father. We must hold these psychopathic bozos accountable. FX - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REMINDER. We also need to understand the language to write a motion to request psychological evaluation on the mother. In connecticut, Yale psychology has some public capacity to help

[@FatherX2022]

Thanks for sharing your experience; many others have seen this, too. I found child protective services people usually perform incompetent and/or biased analysis. If you complain to their bosses, it falls on deaf ears. They usually try to run away from accountability and good work product. And then, to make it worse, judges usually just assume that whatever child protective services claims is true, must be correct. So judges are relying on incompetent child protective services people. It's the blind leading the blind. Dumbest process ever.

[@jaecapers8421]

Another great video 💯

[@FatherX2022]

Thank you!

[@MrBlack-wt5er]

My ex has a psychotic problem and I was initially (afraid) to fight with my ex because her whole family was ganging up on me and they were really smart about it to, plus I suspect other people since my vehicle (I think) was low key vandalized so I learned how to fire a gun shortly after and that was back in 2015. Then my whole entire family just left me stranded when I got a CDL and that didn't work out and had a place while paying about 60% of my net income from my first job and then once I paid 11,700 dollars also that year in taxes I just gave up (19,700) between support and taxes alone so I lived out of car for a few months of fighting with relatives, moved back home and just pay and I'm the dead beat since I do not have the time for the kids while my ex has been on welfare frauding the system since 2012 and I don't have a relationship with the kids because of this. I can't believe guys actually beat this system, (the choke me system) that does what it is intended to do 90% of the time, only if I had anybody in the beginning since you can't take the kids while working 103 hours a week all to subsist.

[@FatherX2022]

I'm sorry this all ended up where you don't have a relationship with your kids. That's the system doing what it was intended to do. I hope we can disrupt that system with these educational videos.

[@MrBlack-wt5er]

@@FatherX2022 Thanks and hopefully someday if everyone continues to speak out that people start to notice especially before it happens to them...

[@FatherX2022]

Agreed.

[@r.a.h.6629]

How do you get your case moved to a higher court or, at minimum, a difficult judge? Thanks, Father X

[@FatherX2022]

RAH, I think I covered some of this episode 7D and 10A. State laws can vary greatly on this, so you have to look up your State law. In general, you can only appeal to a higher court after a final order is made by a judge, after a trial. But if you want to change your judge before the trial, maybe you can file a change of venue...to a different court room. *And if you want to change your judge, each state has different options. The law might say that if you request to change judges, then it is automatically granted. Or your state law might say that if you request to change judges, then your judge has to approve of it. Depends on your state. So look up the laws on that topic. *And the risk is that if you request to change judges, you may have to give a reason. And if your judge has to approve of it, then they may just get angry with you, deny the request, and keep ruling against you out of spite. That's the unknown risk. And yes, that's part of why family court is still broken...because there is great risk in speaking up. Tread carefully.

[@Legal_Guy]

Hello Father X, thanks again for your videos as they put a good general foundation to bring to court. It might be much to ask but could you also explain the legal procedure in a hearing to all the evidentiary put in your videos? Some may already understand the content to express to the judge but one MAJOR issue for litigants are finding ways to get to express, present, or put into evidence. This is the hardest part about custody issues if you are Pro Se and forget Attorneys at least out in Crooked California. They are all idiots and will make things worse or make things longer of effect to your case. Judges try to put Pro se litigant around and the only way to present these factors you talk about need to have force on the judge in the hearing.

[@FatherX2022]

Got it, thanks for the feedback. On my Playlists on my KZbin channel, I have a list of "Informative family court videos". A couple of these are lawyers, discussing how to introduce evidence: kzbin.info/www/bejne/m3-5c6CKfrCqr68si=pwH5DOAK9tLwvD55 kzbin.info/www/bejne/aovOlmeAgNqEn9Usi=gcqd9Zm6GG658S8x

[@77cent-Soufiane]

Another great video for Fathers can win child custody. My case at this time, it has been 2.5 years where i haven't seen my daughter. Um my ex-wife lawyer she said i didn't met with CFS or answered any their calls according to information provided to the mother. Her lawyer said too that needs to occur before i have any parenting time. I was wondering I do have Triage March 19, 2024, I do watching your videos everydays to get knowledge and to be confident in that hearing. I do have lawyer from l'egal aid she do not care and I'm worrying about that. My ex she's borderline personality disorders she abuser and she made false allegations to get me out from the house and last year she made protection order for my daughter in my absence i didn't even living with her that time, I received this protection order from sheriff's officer that is weird. I would like to hear some suggestions from your fathers x or for somebody here has same issues. Thank you

[@FatherX2022]

Thanks for sharing your story. It's a difficult position to be in. A couple of thoughts come to mind, as a Father who went thru this: 1. Your ex-wife's lawyer is hired only to promote your ex-wife's agenda...which seems to be to block you from seeing your kid. I always recommend that you never treat the other lawyer as if they are somebody who understands the facts, or who has some intelligent thing to say. Whenever that lawyer speaks, you have to say out loud, "That lawyer said ABC. But that is false and XYZ is true. We can't make decisions about the best interests of our child based on a lawyer trying to deceive the court with half-truths". Do not let the other lawyer appear to be a credible and competent person....especially when they are not. 2. You said that your lawyer does not care. Many do not. And they can never care as much as you do. It is common for lawyers not to do much work at all inbetween trial dates, or to prepare for any real work. It is up to you to do most of the work, make your lawyer understand the goal, and make them be involved. 3. If your ex is borderline, do you have proof of a diagnosis? And if you don't, then you have to testify about her behaviors and actions that are in the worst interests of the child. And you have to be specific. You have to do that even if you do have an official diagnosis. 4. False allegations. If she made false allegations, then you have to testify in detail about why those allegations are false.... And bring any proof you possibly can to support your testimony. If you can, you should try to get the order of protection dismissed... As soon as possible, instead of just waiting for the trial. Sometimes you can and sometimes you can't, depending on the circumstances. 5. It sounds like the mother and her lawyer are controlling this case with the false allegations. You cannot just let them do that. You have to expose the false allegations, Show that it makes the mother not qualified to be a primary custodial parent. And you have to plan to do this over this long trial process, Because it does not happen easily. Plan for the long game. 6. If you have not seen your daughter for over 2 years, the court is not likely to easily change that and make you a fifty-fifty or custodial parent. You have to get the court to move quickly to let you see your daughter regularly, and then move towards 5050 or primary custody. Those are 2 steps. You need the first one done quickly so then you can move to the second one. Hope that helps. I know it’s tough.

[@77cent-Soufiane]

@@FatherX2022 Thank you so much FatherX for the thoughts and the ideas you told me. it's help. you asked me if I do have proof of my ex borderline diagnosis? No But, she told me many times sh'es is BPD and she saw her got medications when we been living together. I do need to testify in court about her behaviors through me, our daughter and her family. she always fighting with her mother many times shouting at her with anger front of my daughter. my ex-wife mother she's always said to her family i'm gonna suicide that what my ex told me. in Christmas of 2021 my mother in law was holding cup of wine we were all the family sitting in living room play with my daughter then my kid come close to her and she put it drink of wine in her mouth front to me I was so mad and that time my daughter she was less then 3 years old. i'm just watching your video Ep 6C 👍I should bring Strategies to testify in detail about why those allegations are false. she reach out to me after she lie to police i arrested that day and they gove her protection of order against me. i do have all those messages she sent me after this false allegations order, one she said to me '' if you want to talk with your daughter, you can call here to talk to her anytime. I'm making this her (account) now instead of mine. So it's ok if you respond or talk to her here, you won't get in trouble. I know that things with you and I are very difficult righ now, but I don't want to keep your daughter away from you, you're her father and I know you love her. I'm not trying to trick you or get you in trouble.'' Actually FatherX she's tried to trick me and used my daughter to get me in trouble and get arrested for breached her. Yes you alright my ex and her a lawyer are controlling this case with false allegations, and that is pain in the neck. I was wondering Mr FatherX can I file for petitions for order of protection? I need to protect myself. I appreciate it all your help in your videos for what Dads need for the hope to see their kids...

[@FatherX2022]

You can petition for an order of protection. Watch my Episode 2B to learn more. An order of protection doesn't just have to be given to 1 parent, it can be given to both. In your testimony, you can testify that the mother told you she was borderline. You aren't a psychologist diagnosing, but you can repeat the mother's negative admission. You can testify about the medicines you saw her taking. And, more importantly, saying she is borderline is not enough. Many judges do not understand what that means to the child. So you have to testify about the mother's behaviors and actions that represent a danger to the child. If you don't, nobody else will. And you have to state all of your concerns about your child's well-being because of the mother's behaviors and actions. The mother's quote that you provided is a perfectly-worded statement needed for her court case. But I don't know her. Her words could be genuine or it could be a trick to trap you with the order of protection. You would know better based on her actions. Protect yourself...the last thing you want is to be arrested for violating that order of protection. So avoid being in a position where you and the mom are alone, you're exposed.

[@77cent-Soufiane]

I did watching Episode 2B couple times. I filed the triage conference last week as respondent, these days I educate myself from your great videos to understand the system and how to fight for custody. I need testify about the mother's behaviors and actions that represent a danger of the child in my present and specific times where and when... Actually her words could be a trick to trap me with the order of protection for my duaghter with false allegation, even my Lawyer read the scripts of the order of protection last week and she told me that your ex-wife has some mental issues. The lawyer knews about scripts there's many lies my ex made against me... You alright 👍🏼 No contact with my Ex over then 2 years now just for protect myself for not violating that order of protection. I'm going soon to fight that order of protection get it dismissed before the custody and divorce. Thank you FatherX for your help

[@FatherX2022]

You got this! Go for it!

[@maggielloyd9901]

So what does a man do when he's already went to jail and caught misdemeanor charges and now can't see his kids but the mother of the children insists on her and the father communicating secretly even though it could cause the father to go back to jail? She literally is using it for complete control

[@FatherX2022]

The standard protocol that many of us have learned to use is that proximity equals power. If a woman has made false allegations against you, you have to physically stay away from her because there's a high risk she will do it again. If you communicate with her, or are physically next to her, you are at risk. You have to protect yourself. And you have to assume that the police and the courts are too gender biased against men to stop and think about reality. You have to assume they will just engage in a knee jerk reaction to protect the woman and arrest the man. That's said, I'm sure he wants to see his kids. And the problem arises when she requires him to see the kids with her around. He has to be extremely careful how he proceeds. You have to show up with your trusty video recorder and 1 or 2 witnesses next to you at all times. Preferably, he will get to see his kids without the mother present, because she just poses a risk of false allegations. It's messy. I don't know if there are restraining orders involved in this case. But if there are, he should seek to get them dismissed because the mother is trying to communicate with him... She clearly doesn't need a restraining order. And perhaps he should get a restraining order against her to stop her from making false allegations against him.

[@maggielloyd9901]

There is a restraining order on him for the next three years. We have had a huge upheaval in our relationship since I have found out they were talking. I have shut down communication between them..but have also learned his aunt, his step mother and brother were all helping facilitate her seeing him alone without the kids. And she rarely sent him info about the kids even when he asked. But she is telling him he can't see the kids cause they will tell someone and he will go back to jail.

[@FatherX2022]

Is the restraining order between the father and mother... Or is it also between the father and the kids? If the mother is genuinely concerned that the kids will say they met the father and the father would get in trouble because of the protective order, then you guys should ask the mother to petition the court to dismiss the order of protection right now. And maybe that's how you can tell if the mother is being genuine about her concerns.

[@maggielloyd9901]

It is for him to stay away from her and all three children.

[@FatherX2022]

I see. Without knowing the whole story, it's safest to assume the court will react with a vengeance if they think a man violated an order of protection. If the mother was the one who initiated the contact or meeting, you would think the dad should be ok. The problem is that he would then have to rely on a family court judge to be fair, reasonable, unbiased, smart, etc. And you just can't rely on that. That's a terrible gamble. The best bet is to have the relatives ask the mother to petition the court to cancel the order of protection, formally...or modify it to cancel the "no contact" portion. Sneaking around only puts the father at risk. And the mother may be conniving to put him in jail...or not...no way to know until it's too late.