“When you drink like I do, you run into a lot of alcoholics.” -Bert Kreischer
@Zesrii3 жыл бұрын
😬
@hi_tech_reptiles4 жыл бұрын
Bert and Tom are like girls who live together. They are on the same cycle with their specials and touring. Theyve synced up.
@calska1404 жыл бұрын
Ha ha I can just see them on a bad period day sitting on a couch cross-legged in pajamas pants eating a huge thing of ice cream crying and watching the notebook
@JuiceTubes4 жыл бұрын
Who synced to who? (who is the dominant?)
@slashertrav4 жыл бұрын
Austin Jones Tom is clearly the dom here. Bert has to be constantly reassured that he has friends.
@nicholasdumont71154 жыл бұрын
They should do a new season of Fear Factor w/ Joe hosting, & Bert, Tom, and Ari as the only contestants for every episode.
@LuiBC34 жыл бұрын
That would be great but Fear Factor has already been rebooted, Ludacris is the host. But they should definitely do a spoof
@canemaltbie68874 жыл бұрын
Nicholas Dumont This would be the best thing ever
@puddspudds51024 жыл бұрын
I literally LOVE this idea ..f in genius
@mcimdm.m.m70744 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@Tetsu-Tha_6th_Man4 жыл бұрын
GENIUS
@FluffyHarmlessKitten4 жыл бұрын
I'm convinced 50% of this show is Bert saying something insane while Tom looks to camera to see if anyone else is hearing this shit lol
@garrettgriffin38773 жыл бұрын
The other 50% is a cartoon villain cackling the background
@Jacob-zy5cl4 жыл бұрын
Bert: I don't thing I've wronged anyone. Literally has a story about robbing an entire train
@Beunibster4 жыл бұрын
That was ok because he learned how to say bread in Russian
@roachdoggjr88084 жыл бұрын
@@Beunibster right it was a learning experience
@outsidestudiog64834 жыл бұрын
It's okay, he robbed himself too
@outsidestudiog64834 жыл бұрын
@@Beunibster Sil! Cheese!
@TRKTKO4 жыл бұрын
Fuck them that was Russia lol
@blakestallings92514 жыл бұрын
Every cut to Johnny Deep he’s buying a different scarf.
@VideoNozoki4 жыл бұрын
While fucking a different model that is hotter than his ex-wife. (or secretly importing small dogs into Australia)
@kyle.teedubs4 жыл бұрын
That is a legitimately the funniest suggestion.
@kirafaith85814 жыл бұрын
I would watch that movie in a heartbeat holy shit
@logicomamk28484 жыл бұрын
And filmed like Curb your enthusiasm.
@JasmineBoothe14 жыл бұрын
Blake Stallings or a new bracelet. That man has a lot of accessories
@icecoldchilipreppers4 жыл бұрын
This pod crept up on me and now is 100% my favourite one. I legit must watch immediately.
@Varcieh4 жыл бұрын
M H Same here. Anything else can wait
@gonzodelphiki20834 жыл бұрын
You're def not alone. I look forward to it every other Monday. I set an alarm on my phone to remind me. It was nice to have them weekly in October, and I wish they went a little longer each episode if they stick with twice a month. But I laugh harder at 2B1C than I do at almost any other cast. You can just tell that these guys are real friends and they enjoy being together on or off the mic. I can totally see them having very similar conversations without anyone else listening, kinda like Bert said in this ep. I totally think there is an audience for a weekly or more show, but at the same time it makes each ep better after having to wait (kinda like Disney+ making us wait a week at a time for The Mando).
@icecoldchilipreppers4 жыл бұрын
@@gonzodelphiki2083 I couldnt agree more, I enjoy the anticipation!
@mrguy5614 жыл бұрын
Bert: "Is this blood?" Tom: _sweats profusely_
@JeEnYuS5044 жыл бұрын
WHERE ARE THE BODIES, TOM?
@Keres80964 жыл бұрын
He never answered!
@TheRealBWasion4 жыл бұрын
Bert reading an ad for knives after Tom’s dance video is poetic justice.
@AM-ng5ph4 жыл бұрын
Tom's look of shame as bert sounds like a robot reading
@saades40184 жыл бұрын
He sounds like he's almost always out of breath
@Bravebaker4 жыл бұрын
Bert is making it too obvious now. The lightning bolt on the hat is clearly SS
@KK-pd3rg4 жыл бұрын
no it isnt you fool
@Bravebaker4 жыл бұрын
Flygirl Firefly oh I must’ve been mistaken.
@Bravebaker4 жыл бұрын
TheSuperstoner4200 too stoned to detect a joke?
@ThReverend66614 жыл бұрын
TheSuperstoner4200 you must not know what he’s talking about you fuckin tool
@rasmussyrjala13704 жыл бұрын
@TheSuperstoner4200 oh, so you are a nazi?
@xiTom18764 жыл бұрын
Bert has a constant inner monologue telling him hes not an alcoholic
@josef20124 жыл бұрын
"It's not that bad,not that bad,that's okay,right??....I'm fine...."
@eddieharman36504 жыл бұрын
most alcoholics do. lol
@rogerwilco17774 жыл бұрын
I mean vodka looks like water and is a russian word for 'little water' so that means Bert is the true water champ
@9AJW44 жыл бұрын
& telling him that he's a good person.
@jstrangepork4 жыл бұрын
100% he's in total denial. And all of his friends, except for Drew, THE DOCTOR, are enabling the hell out of him.
@sirachasugar4 жыл бұрын
Tom: I’ve been cooking like a black guy for like 47 years
@jakrispy34184 жыл бұрын
I've been flying helicopters for like 37 years lol
@royceisthebestrapper76864 жыл бұрын
Lmaoo the callback king 😂😂
@spudruckus72974 жыл бұрын
Love the new Wild Bear clips at the intro! ❤️😂🐻
@VSillars4 жыл бұрын
Bert: Drew says I'm not an alcoholic Drew: Oh, he 100% has fatty liver disease from being an alcoholic.
@commentetiquettestudent17884 жыл бұрын
The moment Tommy buns started laughing at Bert ad read, made me fall from the chair 😂
@Chadhelder093 жыл бұрын
This pod cast makes me laugh more then anything I have ever saw on the web. They actually give great advice. Its literally therapy
@matthewminard41124 жыл бұрын
I want that Johnny Depp movie to happen so bad 😂
@nobodymr21464 жыл бұрын
What’s your tik tok
@clipsedrag134 жыл бұрын
@@nobodymr2146 bahahhaa
@Paintballman2514 жыл бұрын
It sounds fucking awesome!
@samstucky99844 жыл бұрын
Same
@illestmortal4 жыл бұрын
Its a really good idea tbh
@harrisoncouch14 жыл бұрын
Everyone needs a friend like Bert! And everyone needs a friendship with someone like Bert and Tom have...love you guys. Hope ya'll have a Merry Christmas
@craig70214 жыл бұрын
"looks like the opening to a gay porn i'd sit through" These two really are best friends. Only best friends can joke like this and it still almost seem wholesome lmao.
@gippycuntbhg44354 жыл бұрын
joke? did you really lmao at them?
@craig70214 жыл бұрын
@@gippycuntbhg4435 not figuratively ofc, but i laughed pretty hard. hard enough i felt the need to express it with a "lmao".
@josephessi4 жыл бұрын
The level of conversation they have has made this my favorite podcast.. so thankful fellas
@joshuabees88184 жыл бұрын
Tom having Bert do "impressions" is just adding to Tom's deep fake library to glean from.
@metalligeek0934 жыл бұрын
Joshua Bees you can see his schemes on his face when Bert’s doin them lmao
@wotwot52124 жыл бұрын
If you look close enough you can even see all the strings above Bert being pulled controlling his every motion
@joshuabees88184 жыл бұрын
@@metalligeek093 I know, right?! Tom keeps glancing at the camera as if to say, "I'm getting all this. Are you getting this?"
@carlosromero42434 жыл бұрын
I know Bert doesn't see that lmao 😂
@davidpuletz4 жыл бұрын
Joshua Bees i think this whole podcast is just a way for tom to capture all of berts data. and then having him switch sides. now theyre getting the more side angles sitting face to face. lol
@trevormotsinger33174 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate this episode from dealing with addiction and coming to reality of acceptance... yall really hit me with strength of keeping up with my sobriety and how I deal with people I dealt with from my past. Thank you Bert and Tom.
@m92quad554 жыл бұрын
We need to get that medicine ball shower crying scene into the Johnny Depp movie
@kewleodobop4 жыл бұрын
Absolutely
@rafaeltiano4 жыл бұрын
bert needs to get stabbed in the film too
@Christopher-md7tf4 жыл бұрын
@@rafaeltiano How about in every city, he gets stabbed by somebody else for different reasons 😁
@mjhb24 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you brought up "This is Not Happening." That was the first time I'd watched Tom. So hilarious!
@andersonash90594 жыл бұрын
The idea of Sebastian as the voice of an animated animal is superb. He’d kill.
@antwanc.60994 жыл бұрын
1:12:40 - Onward. One of the most genuine conversations I've heard in a while. Damn, I love this show!
@Ramboskates854 жыл бұрын
One day bert is going to come home to a naked stalker in his bath tub. I mean swimming pool. 😂
@MissD9344 жыл бұрын
That is hilarious!!
@obbah18184 жыл бұрын
That Sam Adams beer must be bad if Bert doesn't even want to drink it
@nilesplautz28214 жыл бұрын
Love everything you guys do separate and together. Thanks for sharing your lifes and entertaining the masses
@Willitshred4 жыл бұрын
please make this a weekly podcast i love tum saguntra and bort chrystler
@zeldanator714 жыл бұрын
I like when Bert explains that he's a functioning alcoholic without saying he's an alcoholic.
@TheNerindil4 жыл бұрын
Your daughter is smart, Bert. Ari did what he did, from my perspective, because he THOUGHT you were weak. Then this October thing came up and it turned out that not only are you not weak, but you’re stronger than him. So he had to sabotage it. When someone tells you they’re a scumbag, believe them.
@1ChrisNeedsMoney14 жыл бұрын
Never stop laughing background guys. 😂😂😂
@garrettgriffin38773 жыл бұрын
I know. It sounds like a cartoon villain is in the next room
@cloud_monkey4224 жыл бұрын
I can’t believe this is the 14th episode already.
@theacp66874 жыл бұрын
Ok in every episode I love your friendship but listening to you guys talk business and the genuine affection you seem to have - I really enjoy. Already love both your stand up but this is just extra niceness
@laurenfulgham41214 жыл бұрын
I love how Bert’s snorting sleep apnea makes its way into the waking world from time to time.
@AFatOcelot4 жыл бұрын
This is my favorite podcast now haha I look forward to it every week
@WhiskeyZebra4 жыл бұрын
Bert doing impressions, only to find out that will be the audio dubbed into Tom's next video.
@austinarnold1554 жыл бұрын
It's just to easy
@terrybird9934 жыл бұрын
it's crazy how many comments I've seen that spelled “too” incorrectly... it's baffling.
@melroser4 жыл бұрын
Terry Bird This is why no one likes you at parties.
@anthonycaruso63964 жыл бұрын
You guys are serious examples to me and to hear you guys talk about gratitude and surrounding yourself with “clean laundry” seriously put me right today. Please don’t be shy putting content like that up. #2bears Pioneers.
@dmanm854 жыл бұрын
I just got immediately happy when i saw this in my subs.
@Adam-nw8um4 жыл бұрын
This is the best podcast on KZbin right now. Don't ever change.
@JDeezy104 жыл бұрын
I don’t know who that guy is in the background who’s always laughing but I find it hilarious for some reason.
@DeltaTempest4 жыл бұрын
this podcast is the gift that keeps on giving
@johnperish4 жыл бұрын
Young Bert looks like Doug Stanhope with an extra chromosome.
@gp28604 жыл бұрын
Young Stanhope looked pretty fucked up himself
@hydrangeadays4 жыл бұрын
Bert's laugh makes me so happy. Thanks for a great podcast, Guys.
@IvorKC34 жыл бұрын
"186lbs..... I'll be down there in December" Mmmkay👍
@iancarroll61704 жыл бұрын
Ivor Christiansen he only has 186lbs to go
@jeremymigneault16904 жыл бұрын
Lol same reaction....
@loadbarone4 жыл бұрын
dont tell Burnt Chrysler his movie idea is called,Get him to the greek mixed w tommy boy
@planecrashcorner72834 жыл бұрын
Bert still doesnt know that hat is a grateful dead hat... nobody tell him
@PooNagoo4 жыл бұрын
J C came to say berts a dead head? Lol but I know he likes wsp...but that makes more sense hahah
@booognish4 жыл бұрын
J C nah man it’s half a nazi SS
@planecrashcorner72834 жыл бұрын
@@booognish oh shiiit, bert likes the hat because its the closest he can get to wearing actually nazi stuff... what a fucking piece of shit
@joergie60084 жыл бұрын
That’s the first thing I noticed , lol. Keep on Truckin’ Bert
@aKjohn87984 жыл бұрын
Bert takes MDMA one time and becomes a deadhead ffs
@saramariewheeler93044 жыл бұрын
Ari "He may be a bad person, but he's a good guy" Shaffir
@Dud3itsj3ff4 жыл бұрын
Sara Marie Wheeler honestly describes him perfectly
@shenbeuv26164 жыл бұрын
@@Dud3itsj3ff nah
@brettcarpenter14484 жыл бұрын
He’s a garbage person.
@kmddx74284 жыл бұрын
Bert: I'm one of the most vindictive human beings alive. Tom's eyes: You got that clip, right?
@NyxaGrayheart4 жыл бұрын
omg this is one of the best podcasts right now for the fans
@nates14144 жыл бұрын
Bert: I don't apologize to anyone. Also Bert: Leeanne dumped me and I apologized to everyone.
@Christopher-md7tf4 жыл бұрын
It's so crazy how little self-awareness he has 😂
@Keres80964 жыл бұрын
@@Christopher-md7tf show a lil self awareness - Burnt Greeseler
@aidanthames84524 жыл бұрын
This is it. This is my favorite episode so far.
@shawnmcvey77894 жыл бұрын
When Bert's reading it looks like he's closing his eyes to make a wish.
@scabbynack4 жыл бұрын
I thought he didn't know how to spell Cave for a second during that ad read
@shagginwagon84474 жыл бұрын
He was wishing, that he wasnt reading.
@madecl214 жыл бұрын
His wish was to learn how to really read
@joanncaribbeanfan45054 жыл бұрын
I believe Bill Burr's wife, The Lovely Nia is teaching them both to read along with their toddler. read
@BXBZ884 жыл бұрын
Doing his "Racist Asian" impression for the Ad............
@SparePartsBud4 жыл бұрын
1: Hands down this has become my number 1 podcast. 2: Tom & Bert movie NEEDS to happen.
@iwritecreepystories71094 жыл бұрын
“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” Well, stop drinking, Bart.
@m47t844 жыл бұрын
The crew in the back laughing always gets me hahaha it's hilarious
@bennetcatchpole4 жыл бұрын
I mean Hannah stockings not funny, but Bert wants her to like him lol
@jackson6034 жыл бұрын
This is the only thing keeping me alive in quarantine
@austinlavin34554 жыл бұрын
"I mean, I love seeing people get hurt" -Serial Killer Tom Segura
@notmyrealname25304 жыл бұрын
God Bless you both in the Name of Jesus Christ, you are an example of how to treat your brother as yourself. A joyful thing to hear when someone is grateful for all things the Lord has done for them.
@joshburton57244 жыл бұрын
Bert and Tom in a 2020 version of Tommy boy/the hangover sounds amazing
@bryanezambrana88854 жыл бұрын
I love you Bert & Tom both. Keep it going please!
@fuzzguts4 жыл бұрын
These episodes are far less offensive than the early ones, I'm offended
@couchman-sw6jy4 жыл бұрын
Fuzz Guts Recordings it’s because they’re facing each other. When they were facing forward it put a veil between the humanity of it.
@coomsicle4 жыл бұрын
that's what happens when you get 5 minutes worth of sponsors. they be like "hey maybe don't be racist or we're gonna cut funding" and Bert has no choice but to begrudgingly accept
@TrippyTheShroom4 жыл бұрын
Man, the more I see these podcasts and see how Bert actually is when he calms down, like around the 1 hour mark, really makes me appreciate him and Tom. Both seem like genuine guys and good people.
@orenthalsimpson4 жыл бұрын
This whole episode is just Bert trying to convince himself he's not an alcoholic.
@colemcwilliams954 жыл бұрын
Orenthal Simpson isn’t that every episode
@BrandonGiordano4 жыл бұрын
@@colemcwilliams95 dammit you beat me to the joke. GG
@jmart10794 жыл бұрын
It's actually getting hard to watch for me :/
@ClimptonDiddlehopper4 жыл бұрын
That's Burnts daily deal trying convince himself and people who dont know who he is hes not an alky
@clipsedrag134 жыл бұрын
@@jmart1079 it is getting hard to watch. other addicts see right through it
@MrSNARFSNARF4 жыл бұрын
You guys deserve everything and more. You guys and your wives make me and many more laugh. Your sence of humor is just like mine and that's what drew me to you both. I hope you guys continue to strive and do great in your lives!!!
@RepairmanJack914 жыл бұрын
Was going to head to work but now I can call in sick nice!!
@fannymccracken63854 жыл бұрын
Best epidide yet. I love the honesty
@dntgvafuk894 жыл бұрын
Tom "I cook like a black guy" Segura
@emiliobaez70754 жыл бұрын
Please someone clip this
@SheriffHotSauce4 жыл бұрын
You guys Gotta make that movie! Please!
@joemade70713 жыл бұрын
Watching this episode again and I’m in shock. Bert actually is convinced that Hannah stocking is a funny person. A piece of me just died inside
@psychedtraveler66113 жыл бұрын
Tbh. It just seemed like he was just trying to be positive and not talk shit.
@jonloc85354 жыл бұрын
I love the new intro video for the theme song that's so perfect for this show
@bdixmusic4 жыл бұрын
Curt's old voice is basically a perfect Kermit and I love it.
@jesperhjensen19784 жыл бұрын
finally!the Fuhrer of funny and his best friend podcasting. was getting worried it was over since there was no episode last week
@OutlierConcepts4 жыл бұрын
1:13:40 "So after you're done, theres this huge flood of emotions" Tom: "what's emotions. Is it a type of bourbon?"
@zinjanthropus97784 жыл бұрын
I love this podcast, the best of both worlds. Joe and Bert😱♥️♥️
@RicoSwarthy9994 жыл бұрын
Johnny Depp roadtrip movie starring Tommy Buns and Burnt Chrysler... Please mommys do everything you can to make this one happen.
@Stefonthadon4 жыл бұрын
The guys laughing in the back make things even funnier
@wonkeycong19564 жыл бұрын
Suggested title for Berts movie: Tears and Bloating in Las Vegas 😢 🍸
@sherm_stick4 жыл бұрын
good jobs getting the show to a sustainable level, it looks like fun but I can tell its some hard work. Well done boyz
@professorpancakes65454 жыл бұрын
Bert going on about alcoholics as if he isn't one lol
@booognish4 жыл бұрын
Best podcast ever.
@rayraymondyglass42084 жыл бұрын
Hahahahaha burnt has a “John Mayer” hat. Great job burnt Chrysler... 👏👏👏
@itzark79344 жыл бұрын
At 15:08 tom and berts head align perfectly
@madecl214 жыл бұрын
If Saatva really had 5 star mattresses, they would have made Tom's dream bed from Disgraceful already
@daltonferguson93204 жыл бұрын
This
@isaacmcintyre59974 жыл бұрын
The way he looks at the camera when he says I love watching people get hurt 10:05
@akaviradawn91754 жыл бұрын
😅😅
@Kbwintyy4 жыл бұрын
Petition to also crowd fund the animated show “Sebastian and His Parrot”
@nintendoROX1214 жыл бұрын
"Sebastian and Pasquale"
@Kbwintyy4 жыл бұрын
pablo escavez I like where this is going
@gtrriffs4 жыл бұрын
@@Kbwintyy the parrot has arie shaffir nose instead of a beak
@Kbwintyy4 жыл бұрын
songs for the deaf. Lol
@brandonshank82664 жыл бұрын
Do I sign here or
@ThaChildishOne4 жыл бұрын
“I make omelets like a black man” Tom Segura
@alexwarren57744 жыл бұрын
Man, Bert really let himself go since appearing in that Segura dance video.
@eddieharman36504 жыл бұрын
I know right? He looked much healthier then.
@ericshuty25644 жыл бұрын
Surviving a brutal stabbing like that changes a man. Haunts him. We are watching the fallout from that fateful day.
@rootintootin51674 жыл бұрын
God damn, bert is so fucking fat.
@lizardywizard4 жыл бұрын
@@ericshuty2564 he just appears a drawn, empty husk of the (admittedly racist) man he was before the attack. Except the facial bloating of course, appears to be reacting to a peanut allergy? DJ DadMouth planning to prank Burnt again, the tech he is going to employ would, 5 years ago have cost a studio millions. These guys are giving extra pleasure beyond their comedy shows and apart from Berts racism, I love it!
@K9_50Cal4 жыл бұрын
Hahaha
@donno19704 жыл бұрын
You need to get Kevin Smith to direct your movie, he knows all about self funded movies. He also knows Johnny Depp.
@shastu27224 жыл бұрын
Why does Burt look like he was stung by 1000 bees
@biguprochester4 жыл бұрын
That hangover tho
@dakotaspruell10834 жыл бұрын
Cause he got hungry and ate the honey out of a bee hive
@StanleyKubick14 жыл бұрын
sober october is over
@jmart10794 жыл бұрын
The bee's name is Tito
@chrism454 жыл бұрын
Poor diet and alcohol
@wishnewsky4 жыл бұрын
Epic Bear Footage for an intro!!! ROFL I woke up my family laughing
@jakobdekonink15914 жыл бұрын
So early, so excited that I'M HAVING CHEST PAINS!
@tommym73214 жыл бұрын
It's nice of Tom to let Margaret Cho sit in on this episode, I didn't even miss Bert
@JamesWilliams-dz5tn4 жыл бұрын
Tommy M she’s really let herself go
@cillianwallace_4 жыл бұрын
Bert quit the Hannah Stocking stuff Bert, she's anti-funny
@THEMMAJUNKIES4 жыл бұрын
Thank you!!!!
@MarioGarcia-px8xi4 жыл бұрын
I never thought I'd hear someone call her funny lol
@willlpatterson77234 жыл бұрын
The synchronized sip is why I watch this
@Samschwab104 жыл бұрын
Bring back the old set up! It’s so much better to see you guys in one shot rather than these adhd screen cuts
@VideoNozoki4 жыл бұрын
The switching back-and-forth every time they speak is terrible. Really wish they'd use the old set-up, wide shot.
@DepthFromAbove4 жыл бұрын
The old setup was thrown out. This is the set for 2 other podcasts. It’s not coming back.
@jamesdean06884 жыл бұрын
Saw him at the Ha Ha last week and it was sooo good!! Can’t wait to go again
@MRnaganalf4 жыл бұрын
Bert: is this blood? Moment of silence Off screen: Nope Back to conversation 🤣🤣