Ep. 57 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing exclusive golf clubs. Bert tells the story of when he learned about racial slurs as a child, and they have fun watching videos of disgusting toenails, dilated pore removals, and navel stones. They react to getting shouted-out on 85 South, and recall how they got into hip-hop. They take a look at the SUBEAP submissions they got, their take on the PLASTT phenomenon, and discuss their best and worst strip club experiences. Bert also shares how he got mistaken for a Trump supporter on Instagram.
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[@gabrielsanford7914]

Bert: “this is going to be the episode that takes me down.” Tom: “okay.”

[@leann262]

* fingers crossed *

[@exclusivgiraffe8359]

fuck i was writiing this comment lmao

[@StephenKyle91]

leann262 lmao I love you have his wife’s name & said that

[@niteshade8546]

He says that all the time then says something weak. He thinks he is way edgier than he is. He's worked with Bruce Jenner. Recently.

[@danielduarte4425]

@facciabella85 or realizes they could just cut anything out before posting the podcast lmao

[@RobbieFitzgerald]

"I was at a meeting..." "A clan meeting?" You're the best, Tom.

[@ZadockTheHunter]

Well, we know it wasn't AA...

[@yew2oob954]

Technically, all meetings Bert attends is a Klan meeting.

[@chobblegobbler2536]

Dated two thousand twenty twelve

[@danielpenrodii2389]

“I just started eating Butterfingers until I figured out why I like them”. Classic Bert.

[@mudcattv7649]

Someone should scrub through all these episodes and do a counter for how many of Bert’s stories he’s re-told. I think the stripper with clothes story is up to 3 now. Lmaoooo

[@psychedtraveler6611]

Same with the N-word story

[@drizzyenemy4882]

I’m just now going through these and I can’t keep track of which ones I’ve actually seen because I hear the same story almost word for word. I get confused and have turned some off thinking I already watched the episode

[@Kiki94x]

@@drizzyenemy4882 SAME i thought i was losing my damn mind

[@mastergwaha]

@@Kiki94x i check the episode number... and im going through them sequentially! i was like no way... again?! lol

[@adamcooper6463]

@@drizzyenemy4882 SAME

[@hallandrewe]

These gay dudes are pretty cool.

[@TheMuddyMilesTrain]

Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

[@noprob364]

One goes top while the other wears a shirt

[@Yourlibrarian]

They’re not gay.... One is special and the other is his carer.

[@colinphillips1693]

I’ll bet they give AWESOME presents to each other!

[@TheSeanpatrickobrien]

You love gay dudes

[@jaredschuster3010]

Bert: I cant believe there are not more revenge murders OJ: Hello Twitter world

[@xforce687]

"It's yours truly!"

[@yew2oob954]

OJ didn't kill for revenge.

[@stephen32frazier]

Hey it's Darr man, just checking on to make sure you guys are learning obvious but valuable lessons.

[@jaredschuster3010]

@@yew2oob954 You're fired bud.... ta ta there chomo, stick to proto next time

[@SuperTink]

LMAO!!! I read that in Joe Rogan’s voice…

[@simonhardy1980]

Bert looks like Dan Bilzarerian if he let himself go.

[@maximilianoheredia6926]

Hes Fat Bilzarerian

[@Ottophil]

Except berts way more successful and not lying

[@jeremya4075]

@@Ottophil he is?

[@russshuttleworth7264]

😂😂

[@futbolplaya07]

Bart will read this and be very excited

[@matttordone562]

"I cannot loose weight right now" *drinks a gallon of koolaid and 4 bottles of wine* *eats 12 burgers*

[@alexab7966]

I think Sickler’s guest episode was the strongest, but I love Tim Dillon, and he’s an actual bear, so he gets my vote.

[@westonforced-last-name-dis3560]

@@alexab7966 Who are you responding to?

[@matttordone562]

@@alexab7966 dude wtf are you talking about

[@castro2388]

J kn v

[@words911]

@@westonforced-last-name-dis3560 I think he just came out of the closet. Be encouraging.

[@TheRealLange21]

The image of Bert in a speedo getting lectured about the N-word by each generation of a black family is absolutely incredible

[@jimboslice3646]

Yea, would make a hilarious skit

[@bigtrajik1]

Proves black people are Racist but funny

[@NoEmotes]

LMFAO I died

[@wheresallthezombies]

“This is the first time I’ve ever told this story”. I’ve heard that story of him saying the n word about ten times

[@toastedjoe1013]

I had to double check that this was a new episode.

[@yomamaa4932]

MOVE IT ******!!!!

[@dirkbercks8830]

Just leave Bart alone. He loves the N-word. He should be the only one to say it

[@1lucia]

He retold like 3 Stories this Episode. Also had to Check this was new. He told that guy saying the n word even though he said he never said it story on this podcast before

[@mjsudela]

He used to say the n word joke. I mean he still does but he used to do it too.

[@mrting8808]

Sometimes watching a “Two Bears” is like Bill Murray’s “Groundhog Day”.... Bret is becoming that old man that keeps repeating the same stories...

[@justinrago922]

I felt like all but the last 20 minutes were just retold stories. I literally had to look at the date uploaded to make sure I hadn't already watched this episode.

[@mikelfc12]

You can only tell so many stories in one lifetime and during the week you only have so much to talk about give it a break

[@ComfortableTool86]

@@justinrago922 same I thought maybe I hit an old episode because bert told at least two retold stories with the same length and enthusiasm as the original telling

[@chrisbuehler6868]

An alcoholic retells the same stories over and over? Shocking

[@deepthought1987]

Why didn't Tom stop him?

[@JunkBondTrader]

lol Bert, a rough neighbourhood: People who could afford houses, but weren't their own bosses. So like, the middle class?

[@patriot9487]

Wow. Crazy seeing you here, I watched your videos little over a month ago in preparation for my first DMT trip! Hope you're doing better!

[@TinkMcGathy]

I think the episode with Ryan Sickler was the best because you could tell there’s a genuine chemistry between him and Tom just like Bert and Tom

[@smashin]

Yep they know each other well and had good back and forth convo.

[@Luap-ls3ix]

"She wasn't a stripper, she was a person." - Bart

[@seedsofsolitude8482]

100%

[@C.Y.123]

@@AgendaInMind LOL, Burden of Proof is hard.

[@otisy2k]

@@AgendaInMind ..... the fuck, dude?

[@brettalexander5585]

I just love how Tom nonchalantly agrees saying "Right "and shaking his head. haha that's one of the better clips for sure.

[@aaronzerza5982]

There had to be the distinction of whether it was a person or dog

[@Nastynati0513]

Sickler and Tom together are great, only better pairing is Uncle Joey and Sickler together. Hell I'd watch 3 or 4 bears one cave with any variation of these 4 names together.

[@Thisonesforthekids]

A huuuuuuuundred percent

[@johnherring450]

Hell Yes!! Be all over that!!

[@jamesforrest1458]

i think you only mentioned 3 different names lol.. id this bret?

[@DarkDecimus]

Bert has told the story of the "clean record" n-word story to tom so many times in the first 56 episodes, it makes me wonder how many times he has told it in his everyday life. Lol and tom has yet to stop him telling it each and every time, like it's his first. Hilarious

[@earningattorney9887]

Onset alzheimers

[@Ryan-zs4bk]

Hahah same with the story of the stripper starting to strip from being fully clothed 😂

[@kevinorourke7494]

Bert's slow metamorphosis into the Chicken man from Toy Story 2 is finally complete

[@noahwallick89]

:0

[@alexniepagen2136]

Als toy barn! Lol

[@tylersharp6044]

All he needs are those glasses

[@kishenp111]

10/10 comment

[@마마맘마마마마마-l6l]

Bert was wearing a Klan hood but he got hit with a frying pan.

[@ismaelnogueras]

Bert has told that same story about his friend that’s never said the N word like 5 different times on this podcast and each time it was told differently 😂

[@jakrispy3418]

Bert: I went to a meeting once... Tom: A klan meeting? 🤣🤣

[@JesusHComedy]

Lyle: Hang on, hang on, hear him out.

[@ihatethisuser1]

😂😂😂

[@boboso4705]

Bert is basically Homer in that one episode where he teaches a class but just ends up telling personal thing about Marge.

[@Somegoy]

Tom literally had to make another podcast called tom talks because bert still don't get it.

[@fliptophiphop1894]

That makes the title way better

[@dieseluterus3632]

I love Brent

[@Official_KC]

I think Tom Talks is totally like the "Hey we know JRE is going off KZbin soon sooooo...". There's gonna definitely be some competition for that viewership. And I think Tom has a good chance at picking up viewers

[@shaydee5641]

One thing I will always love about Christina is that she’s not afraid to say “retarded” 😂😂

[@drugaddictwithknowledge9603]

Yeah I like that a lot

[@leann262]

It's a very useful word.

[@niteshade8546]

She has a lot less to loose than most of her peers in comedy.

[@policis]

well that's the only thing then because she isn't a good comic

[@theoccasionalmoonlight4050]

That's why Tom hears it so much 😂

[@Jackisglorious]

I love how this episode is a 'recap' of all stories Bert Has EVER TOLD on this podcast.

[@reedbrady4627]

“so I’ve never told anyone this before”

[@AdamStarr816]

slowly but surely he's getting exhausting.

[@SuperPope69]

@@reedbrady4627 🤣 🤣 best part is that was the 3rd time I've heard that story too

[@steviemac2377]

It confuses the hell out of me where i have to double check to make sure im not rewatching an old pod lol

[@kurtiskissell378]

This was a great episode of “Bert cancels himself.”

[@lukewojdylo9241]

Bart looks like he's hiding a traumatic anvil injury under that hat.

[@anthonyj6863]

Lmfaoo

[@Belznis]

Or he wants to go stealing picnic baskets.

[@IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI]

Hahahaha

[@mikaylalewis8673]

Hahahahaha

[@tarawhite986]

LOL

[@MrRabbRabb]

I don’t know what’s worse “bad friends” Rudy eating a Balut egg or Leannes belly button. Today has been a harsh day for listening to podcasts.

[@agrosurf]

Bru Rudy is a fkn knife wielding badass, Balut is GD walk in the park for her.

[@jarrodfromohio]

this was literally my thoughts, BF was the last thing I listened to directly before this podcast.

[@matthewfortuna4464]

It really has been a gross podcast day

[@k29123]

i felt that

[@vicjames3256]

Very true. I've had Balut. I'll take Leanne's belly button any day.

[@davidsando7875]

is anyone keeping a running tally of how often Bert tells the same story, heard this stripper in the snow gear one a couple of times

[@TheVanderbone]

“This is the first time I’ve ever told that story to anyone”

[@Glassandcandy]

Alcohol induced dementia is a serious condition

[@peralesdavid]

Glad someone noticed lol

[@biscuitkenny]

Same with his "first time saying the N word"

[@vinnyp3715]

The N word story was legitimately my 5th or 6th time hearing it

[@craigparrish940]

Best Guest Bear: IMO Sickler, his stories are great

[@snowboardjo0322]

Sickle cell is a god damn national treasure. Dude is a legend 🍈

[@Cevoxify]

Facts

[@huydo141]

Tom gagging over toenails and then going into detail about dismembering and torturing people is my favorite.

[@KyleFox2]

Tom looking up from the phone realizing Bert just said he ate 12 burgers was gold.

[@ZackP504]

timecode?

[@feathering7445]

Bert is the spokesperson for the untreated ADHD.

[@moeleicster2737]

46:17 - 46:21

[@jordantwood]

Imagine how boring Brent would b if he was properly medicated.

[@fernandocarvallo9135]

@@moeleicster2737 This was the perfect timestamp to go with the OP comment. Thank you.

[@juanthenative7114]

I was just sayin that!

[@Draxion17]

Ads

[@toma9596]

“First time I’ve told this story” not true at all, he’s told at many many times on his podcast

[@AXLFREEDOM]

Right? I could tell the story for him at this point

[@ShawnBoogieNYHC]

Yeah he’s told the first half of that story

[@sandyqueppet501]

I’m glad I’m not the only one who realized this

[@AXLFREEDOM]

@@sandyqueppet501 same. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy when I hear him repeat the same story. Especially because Tom never says anything about it lol

[@dermotcreedon5323]

@@sandyqueppet501 had to go thru to comments and find out if i was the only one who noticed bert repeat these stories does tom even listen to him as he just says "no i havent heard that"..

[@DYLAN123223]

Tom is such a beast at acting like it's the first time he's heard a story.

[@Bestayyy]

its always dicey when a special needs person is being racist, but i think tom handles it quite well

[@jeremiahpapa7868]

Tourettes guy blurting "n gg R" and a black guy is getting sensitive over it. Laughing in church, it just gets worse as you stifle.

[@blake219]

Look at Beetlejuice, he's a perfect example

[@connorcampese1857]

This comment single handily saved my dog from bart

[@georgekaladas8381]

Ya homeless b?

[@westonforced-last-name-dis3560]

I don't know where I am

[@c-millz5458]

Tom is really gaging at toenails like he didn’t watch people being used as human toilets on YMH Live 3

[@calb321]

self inflected > no choice is why he cringes

[@jamesmay6674]

I had a really rough time that day. Those toenails were nothin g.

[@andrewcampbell9mm]

Ymh live 3 made me question my own sanity lol

[@yomamaa4932]

@@andrewcampbell9mm my mind has been warped

[@Dream_Weapon]

This is worse, except for foot maggot dude. That's equivalent .

[@kristenmcnulty460]

I love how ever podcast ends with Tom saying "love you buddy" like wtf they are so cute

[@darrensanimalsreptilesfish30]

Cause bert gonna die

[@kristenmcnulty460]

@@darrensanimalsreptilesfish30 😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂😂😭

[@nicholasburbridge8605]

They are especially adorable while plotting their torture approach 😆

[@hotrod22361987]

I tell my friends I love them everytime I get off the phone with them

[@HeyThatsInteresting97]

Going back to the beginning of Two Bears, it seems like Beet started it on the first few episodes, and then Tom really caught on

[@ChristianLosciale]

Tim Dillon had me crying laughing, thus was my favorite.

[@damianmarshall5090]

We need a highlight reel of Tom looking at Bert when he says absolutely absurd shit like the look when Bert was talking about the bellybutton story.

[@coolguy473]

"I cant lose weight right now" gulps down a gallon of koolaid and 5 bottles of wine

[@delaneysays]

And 12 burgers

[@mohammedgoldberg7529]

And for two straight episodes. Almont passed out

[@dexmarjak]

Normally I'd say Bobby Lee's episode was the best, But that Sickler episode had me dying

[@joepratt9039]

That sickler episode is amazing, they have such a better balance like I bet if you timed how long each spoke it's almost 50/50 I think that's why the comments are full of Bert hate now, they've seen how good it could be.

[@Mermaidmilkshake]

Tom’s reaction to Bert’s favorite videos is Dr. Drew’s reaction to Tom’s favorite videos

[@SR-kt7jc]

I like this podcast, but it's no Drumline.

[@slimthickens3981]

Its more a "stomp the yard" kind of podcast in my opinion

[@XenoTravis]

Def not a whiplash kind of podcast.

[@robertcastaneda6162]

I was hoping it'd be a "roll bounce" vibe but this is okay too.

[@montychambliss6254]

@@slimthickens3981 It's definitely not a Roots-type of episode, more so A Birth of A Nation-type of episode

[@montychambliss6254]

@@robertcastaneda6162 I'm more so getting Soul Man vibes

[@EtheJo]

Who else was yelling out “Law Abiding Citizen”?

[@chrismcjunkin6600]

I can’t remember anything about that movie but immediately was thinking that was it.

[@austinarnold155]

Yup

[@papakyce13]

Guilty

[@jackkarapetyan2064]

100%

[@ryans_myth]

This should should be called “Bert Talks and Tom Tries To.”

[@Kanggaxx]

I feel like he was trying harder to let Tom speak this time.

[@jo_magpie]

Tom had to make another show, just to be able to talk.

[@johndavis-pp6jx]

2 berts 1 bored stare

[@DB-ku4ud]

Too

[@danettelopezgarza]

😂😂😂😂

[@theolepore1062]

Someone please animate Bert's dream with Joey Diaz🙏🏽 gangster💣

[@evra551]

Best Guest Bear: Sickler. Such a great episode that I've started binging old episodes of his pod

[@roadrunna_bright8714]

Lol I did the same thing. I try to find every video with Tom and ryan. Tom ryan and Bert need to team up more often

[@codybolo7803]

Nah. Bert should fuck off and let sickler and tom do their thing. In fact, tim dillon, sickler and bobby lee all made more enjoyable episodes than the bert ones

[@datpatriotsfan]

Nah Bobby Lee had me laughing the most

[@andrewcampbell9mm]

Ryan Sickler was great he is also great when he has Joey diaz on his podcast I really liked Tim Dillion to

[@J.W.Brogan]

Bert's repeating stories he's "never told before" again.

[@Dabro1010]

If you want to hear a guy shouting "Naval Stones!" this is the podcast for you

[@GLo1991]

*Navel

[@kaftie]

He might have just jizzed his brown-stained leather briefs during that moment...

[@kevinavelar3284]

Bert was dreaming that Chris D'Elia dated his daughter

[@gigglegirl333]

AHAHAHAHA

[@MrPickleTits]

👏👏👏

[@A-Chap]

16 is awfully old for Chris

[@colt4505]

@@A-Chap Oh please

[@sGavins]

Love when Bart mentions a story that he thinks he hasn’t told Tim before, and it ends up being a story we’ve heard about 3-4 times already on the podcast

[@joeswanson5537]

Your a little confused but you got the point

[@zakshah3480]

I came here for this comment. The only addition he gave was where he said it for the first time.

[@mike2928]

Ryan Sickler was the best guest. All the others were great but his chemistry with Tom is phenomenal. Also his laugh is legendary.

[@10Dfowler]

2nd'd

[@DillHurley7]

It's mad old by now but make sure you watch their sketch "9 inches" or search James Brown is 6'3"

[@Colt-wr6wx]

Ryan's laugh is horrible and I can't stand to listen to it. Its fake and soo annoying 👎every time

[@ricardoramirez8139]

@@Colt-wr6wx damn, sounds like you need a hug buddy

[@ricomuerte1012]

@@Colt-wr6wx how can you listen to this pod with Brent and Tim’s horrible laughs but you think Ryan’s is bad? No judgement, just odd to me.

[@SkylerGrahamHenry]

Getting real sick and tired of all the hate directed at Burnt. I work at a humane society out here in LA and he’s here almost every single day. He takes strays out for one on ones and they always come back to the shelter more relaxed

[@nyar5863]

... if smellier.

[@StephenKyle91]

Albeit they’re walking a lil funny. He must be running them real hard

[@Fuggzache]

Does he really do that, stop by to help you walk the dogs? That actually is really good of him to do, I hope that is true. Because Bert seems like a really sweet, genuine person...... It will help me sleep at night knowing he does this.. (Me at night talking with my girlfriend before bed): "Honey, do you think Bert Kreischer volunteers at the humane society a couple days a week and walks the abandoned and neglected stray dogs so they feel loved" (Girlfriend): "Yes babe, I really believe he does.) (Me):"Good, thats good."... As I roll over to fall asleep

[@Micksmix256]

lmao thats why he picks a new dog every day, got give those bumholes some recovery turnaround time.

[@kevinl3254]

That’s ruff

[@orlanofficial52]

Favorite line "OH she's not a stripper, she's a real person"

[@silvermint2080]

I really wanted to hear Toms Method man story.

[@WhoaD614]

brent is getting worse about this.

[@matthewexelby3727]

Wouldn't we all, if bert woukd stop talking we might

[@coldhands00]

This podcast got me absolutely hammered. We need new rules Tom, this isn't fair anymore.

[@ethanletzer3507]

I love how Tom started to tell a story and Bert legit cuts him off and says this is a great place to pivot lol!!! Classic Burnty boy

[@jakeegarris]

This is like the 85th time I’ve heard Bert tell the stripper in winter clothes, and the FaceTiming a friend while getting a lap dance stories

[@AH-mk4mk]

Yea, I’m wondering myself how this just happened in Fort Wayne Indiana and then he later admits it was a year ago...

[@TheAverageSavage1021]

@@AH-mk4mk you know close to every single story comics tell is untrue. Highly embellished at best, a flat out over exaggerated lie worst. I don’t even think I have one story like any one of their thousands of bits, haha shows how much I suck. Once I realized most all of it is just bs, it stopped being as,entertaining

[@andrewcampbell9mm]

@@TheAverageSavage1021 listen to joey diaz he beefs up his stories but he is the most open and honest comedian

[@alexmcmillan945]

@@andrewcampbell9mm Joey Diaz would be the last person she should listen to if she doesn't like the BS dude...

[@fjfuentes501]

45:45 "best lap dance I ever got" -Bert Tom and Bert discuss there best and worst strip club experiences.

[@kppaynter]

Bert: look up dilated pore removal Nadav: WhAt i9s a dIlAtEd PO0r?

[@spencerlawrence8318]

Bert if are asking the question “Have I told you?” 9 times out of 10 the answer is yes.

[@Militant4life43]

Best Guest Bear: The Slept King Bobby Lee

[@cliftonsargent1572]

F*** yes! The slept king is the best

[@apatternedhorizon]

Probably the worst bert outfit yet. Saw it in ads the past couple weeks and was completely baffled by this weird kid cowboy style or whatever it is. 🤣

[@SamuraiM0]

reminds me of 2016-2017 fashion for fat german kids who drink lean

[@christophers6886]

It is terrible

[@DanielDanger420]

And the vest?! What is he going for here?

[@YizzERR]

I was thinking gay Sailor

[@wastaman]

Dan bilzerian

[@burnabyjer]

sickler was the best... the way Ryan and Tom laugh, it's like they actually like/respect one another. Tom got to talk that day, that was nice.

[@anthonybrown3363]

Bert telling you this story like we haven't heard this story. Its like the machine

[@odoylerule3z]

"Hey guys, make sure to use Talk Space of you feel like you might be at risk of mental illness" *Describes torturing people in intense detail*

[@Xenoman14]

Bert has told this "my friend never said the N word" story, multiple times xD EDIT: Also, the Strip club story.

[@creyno2619]

Literally this entire episode was stories bert already told on 2 bears

[@Slim_T_ODB]

Happens more often than I find entertaining at this point. I binged when we went into lockdown and ended up like wait, I've heard all of these stories over and over..... just different outfits

[@Revolution1117]

Right?? I scrolled up twice to re-check the episode date. Bret also has an admitted habit of adding things to his stories to "spice things up".

[@Cyxz666]

Bert continutally rediscovering his lack of impluse control is like a dog constantly discovering it's tail

[@marycallahan2334]

He’s a typical alcoholic.

[@pirateofsteeze]

Best Guest Bears: 1. Night pants Nation 2. Bert’s handler 3. Alex Jones’ son 4. The Daewoo Guy

[@ryandunnlives]

Honestly Leanne being on here was BS and the Bobby Lee episode was about as good as Sickle Cell. Watching Tim Dillon make Tom speechless with pure comedic gold was awesome. He’s such a unique thinker.

[@alamsas2]

Bobby Lee was by far my memorable Best Guest Bear! He needs a regular show with Tom.

[@kennethwright9338]

Me: cooks dinner Bert: disgusting toenails and dilated pores

[@plantgirlK88]

NAVEL STONES, NAVEL STONES!!

[@theshadowalker1]

Lol right?!

[@genghiskhat1163]

Dude.. Same..

[@MrMuttenchop]

Bobby's episode was crazy, just because I wanted to hear more stories about his dad.

[@aidankerr2001]

if you want to hear moe bobby listen to Bad Friends, him and cheeto santino is amazing!

[@GentlemanGaGa29]

I had to turn that episode off, Lee is just so damn unfunny and annoying.

[@VideoNozoki]

@@GentlemanGaGa29 : You're not the only one.

[@bailsandbangers7070]

Bert is clearly devolving. Hes telling stories about eating 12 burgers and a case of butterfingers and how much he like gnarled nasty feet. Wtf Bert?! You make Toms serial killer sense of humor seem normal.

[@bailsandbangers7070]

I hadnt watched that far yet lol.

[@agrosurf]

They make feel more normal about my violent fantasies.....

[@colin2291]

bobby lee is best guest bear by far- those stories about his dad fit so perfectly

[@drgonzo1971]

"I'm stunned that our society isn't run this way," Bert talking about some shit people figured out was terrible in like 2,000 BC

[@agrosurf]

But I completely agree with him.....

[@matthewhonnor]

Wait what is he talking about?

[@agrosurf]

Matt- hes referring to Bert wanting to use violence to solve violence....

[@matthewhonnor]

@@agrosurf Jesus Christ

[@agrosurf]

@Matt Honner Exactly lmfao

[@Jassbusters]

Can you guys please put more ads in there isn’t enough

[@Cyxz666]

The most unrealistic thing about Bert's revenge fantasy is that he would be able to overpower the intruders

[@Beunibster]

The sheer weight alone might win him the fight, but if you factor in the Mickey Mantle gene and his horrid stench, he's basically unbeatable.

[@agrosurf]

Don't forget how terrified they'd be when they find out those dogs aren't for home protection......

[@girthbrooks1740]

Bart secretly wants to get revenge on someone who ate one of his last 7 hamburgers without asking him....

[@benjamingrassi6107]

Bert doing Leann’s accent 😂😂😂

[@redlymedia1583]

Bert: I went to a meeting Tom: a klan meeting? Me: an AA meeting?

[@felixculpa9390]

Bert was wearing a Klan hood but he got hit with a frying pan.

[@bradyuekert9067]

Underrated comment

[@felixculpa9390]

@@bradyuekert9067 appreciate it, bro.

[@kevinpaul3285]

Is that the 3rd time Bert has told story about the friend with the 'clean record' on 2Bears?

[@jeffharambe6811]

I've watched every episode of this podcast, and I think this one has to be one of the best. The part when they're talking about revenge for hurting their families made me think of Cersei Lannister and what she says to Septa Unella: Septa: "I am ready to meet my God" Cersei "You think you're going to die today??? Right now????? You are not going to die for quite some time."

[@benjaminrhodes9611]

The worst part of being early to a Podcast, is not having anything smart or funny to say in the comments.

[@Broot603]

I think about this more then I should

[@TheMuddyMilesTrain]

that's why you wait, watch and then comment, but to each his own. you can always be really cool and write first.

[@nickharmer9722]

Classic case of speaking before thinking. “Look at me, everyone! I have nothing to say!!” 🙄

[@nr.17]

Worst part is me trying to enjoy breakfast while Bert has them bring up absolutely disgusting feet and toenails, dirty pores, navel stones, etc. I'm going to have to pause and come back to this later in the day ffs

[@jeremiahbachmann3901]

They all hate us anyways. What do they care?

[@kevinmcnamara7021]

The part about torturing and killing anyone who messes with your family is the most relatable this podcast has ever been.

[@UToobin75]

Playing into their revenge fantasy... I think they've got the revenge story twisted. They're referencing fantastical horror movie scenarios, not reality. If you allow the revenge fantasy to occupy ones mind, that means you've allowed the bad guy to assert dominance. Vengeance makes a monster out of otherwise good men, meaning that the perpetrator has claimed more victims than just the ones directly involved (as is often the case of the families of victims of violent crime). The best revenge would be to bottle it up, then when the moment comes, take them out swiftly and unexpectedly, as if their very existence was nothing more than a piece of dirt on the bottom of your shoe that needed to be scraped off. That's the power play.

[@WegnerTheDeftones]

Tom’s eyes lit TF up when Brent brought it up lolol.

[@scottglass5416]

This is how I start my work week. Ignoring problems and listening to 2B1C.

[@variaxi935]

I love this SO much. The whole brutal-revenge-on-someone-deserving-of-it scenario is my favorite thing ever. I typically can't handle seeing injuries or gore, like AT ALL, yet the second someone does something to deserve it (especially to an animal or child) I can gleefully witness the most violent scenarios possible and love every single second of it. Thank you for confirming the normalcy of this, thank you SO much. I truly cannot express just how happy that conversation made me.

[@racheyconyeet]

My husband said “I figured out Berts excited voice - Will Ferrell as Elf.”

[@alexmcmillan945]

Ok Rachel.

[@westonforced-last-name-dis3560]

@@alexmcmillan945 ?

[@tollot7754]

I'm 20 mins in and feel like I've only heard one new story. Just me?

[@thecheesefilledllama]

Best guest bear was easily Sickler. Tim Dillon was great for a more intellectual episode but Sickler has so much chemistry with Tom.

[@tshobe23_68]

No way. Bobby Lee all the way

[@brandonbbgun]

Dude berts Joey Diaz impersonation is actually GOOD.

[@bigbrodylan421]

New addition to the Bert drinking game: Take a shot every time Bert says the Fort Wayne strip club story on the show.

[@VideoNozoki]

- deja vu all over again (cheers)

[@evanodaniel8666]

How about just every time he repeats a story in general

[@mikeqzhou]

Best Guest Bear: Ryan Sickler had the best stories, but stupidity level of Bobby Lee is on par with Bertram. Leanne was good for sh!tting on Bert. Tim Dillon was funniest. Get Mark Normand next.

[@daysofblunder]

Mark Normand would be great.

[@traseanderson1594]

You can say shit. This is the internet

[@allieSunl]

“thank God I caught the bike” not his wife! 😂😂😂

[@corbinchristensen1555]

I think Tim Dillon crushed it on his episode. Definitely the best guest host in my opinion. Possibly personal preference, but I loved that dynamic

[@coleraroha5203]

I didn’t know the heavy segment would carry on to Monday.

[@artful1014]

Dude this the only thing that gets me up on a Monday morning😂

[@hcastro23]

May I recommended 10 to 12 Benadryls

[@Coentjemons]

Phrasing....

[@Astrohhh]

Bobby Lee and LeAnn were the best guests hands down

[@deanfranz]

Agreed, her hating on Bret is hilarious. Plus, I learned about Train to Busan from him. Need to watch the sequel!

[@homeskillet1296]

"I had 12 burgers, a gallon of kool aid, beers, butterfingers, snickers, milky ways, 3 musketeers, 2 cigars, and a bottle of wine in a day" "I'm gonna hold out on the vaccine."

[@jaysanq1197]

Bert’s been telling stories he told either on ymh or older 2b1c, is alzheimer a result of kool-aid overdose?

[@_Will919]

This episode feels like someone recorded a group therapy session where the psychologist never showed up.

[@swoosh6085]

This is the real comment champ right here.

[@danaoconnor9523]

@@swoosh6085 you spelled "Every" wrong :)

[@JimCorrigan777]

It's actually impressive that Bert manages to get more and more grotesque with each episode of the podcast.

[@levifletcher1234]

the tinder for friends part had me rolling

[@LawzyDog]

That's not the first time bert said that n word story, he said it on his podcast

[@toma9596]

Like 5 times lol

[@VideoNozoki]

he's said it on ymh too