EP38 The Truth About The Second Year Of Widowhood

[@rachelwesterman1223]

I'm in the first year and I am devastated. I keep trying to watch podcasts to make myself feel better but I struggle to relate. I have very bad social anxiety. I don't have any friends, I'm an introvert and I don't have the confidence to walk into any clubs etc. I think I found my one person and that's it for me. It's going to be a long road ahead though because I'm only 40.

[@christinepotts2397]

Over 8 years since I lost my Husband of 38 years. I've learnt you live with grief, it doesn't go away. A long, lonely road even with Family. XX

[@beckamathews3088]

I go into my 3rd year on oct 17 th and it still feels like yesterday

[@joanyoder5880]

I am into 19 months since my husband age 93 died. I am almost 94 and my life is very lonesome. I am fortunate to have grown children and they try to help me but it isn’t fair to being so dependent on them. The lack of holding hands, hugging, etc is the hardest. At my age I will not find anyone to spend a life with. Loneliest is the hardest.

[@clairecooke6268]

Sending hugs & warmest wishes. I lost my husband aged 48 just over a year ago, and we were so close I feel I’ll always be somewhat alone in this world. But I know at age 93, it must be a much harder loneliness to bear. My Nanna lived to 94 and was a widow for the last 40 years. Thinking of you x

[@carolgallagher5207]

I am very anxious to watch this. Very happy to have found it. My beloved husband died 4 months ago. He was 72. I am 68. I am lost without him. Longevity runs in my family. I could be living decades before I see him again. Year one is awful so far…2nd year? God help me.

[@sharronbiccum9720]

Hello. I have just lost my husband in March 2024. It’s been hard. I’m so glad I found this podcast

[@janetslicer3637]

15 months in and this came at a much needed time. I have been so frustrated trying to get friends to understand and the responses both these women made were spot on. It is so hurtful to be misunderstood. Grief will find them one day and they will finally "get" it. Not that I would wish it on anybody.

[@susanbusby46]

This was what I needed to hear. Fifteen months in and I could identify with what was said and helped me recognise I was coping and moving forward in a more positive manner while in turn hurting so much. Thank you all so much.

[@lindavernon8051]

I’m in the first month of my second year. I am feeling stronger each and every day. I am focusing on loving myself and being there for myself. I’ve even had a couple days in a row where I’ve actually woke up feeling like my old self! I keep a diary so I can track my progress and pat myself on the back often for how far I’ve come since last year at this time. I’m not experiencing huge waves of fatigue out of nowhere anymore. It is getting better. It DOES get better. I’ve realized that someone IS going to come in and save me. Me! Only I can understand how to save myself. Yes, it’s confusing and complicated but I’ve trained myself to pay attention to when I’m feeling okay and try to do more of whatever it is that is making me feel that way. So the first month of the second year does feel better. I’ll never feel the same again, but I’m finding that with each passing day, I’m getting better.

[@GayleRoberts]

I go into my 2nd year this week. This was so helpful. Thank you all.

[@chrisg1234fly]

widowers too!!!

[@amandaforsey121]

So timely that I’ve found your channel. Just going into the second year and this has been so valuable. Thank you

[@shelleycharlesworth5177]

Grief is something widows have to learn to live WITH as it lessens over time but it doesn't go away-ever. The rule of thirds is this-if you are in emotional pain or grief 1/3 of the people you know will make you feel worse. 1/3 will make you feel nothing and only 1/3 actually can help you feel better - by NOT trying to fix it for you. By just being there. When I lost my husband of 39 years to a sudden rare illness 9 years ago it didn't take long for people to show me what category they were in. The 2nd year was worse than the first for me Bec the first year I was so busy trying to learn how to do the finances, insurances, taxes & investments than the magnitude of what I had lost didn't fully hit me until year 2.

[@cherhankerson]

this is 3 yes today loss my hubby this hit difference then first

[@katherinerasmussen3998]

Im just early into my Second year. My husband died suddenly in front of me on Nov.5.2022. Love my Scott. This podcast really helped me today. I am grateful I found this...

[@GN24662]

Thank you for this! So happy to have found you! So helpful on this journey I didn’t expect to be on so soon! My husband of 48 years died by suicide! 10 months in, still numb!

[@karensuttonwidowcoach]

I am so sorry to hear this, it is so incredibly hard and suicide adds many more layers to the already complex grieving process. Sending you much love ad strength. Karen x

[@NorthernBell4612]

Great stream. Right, no one knows until they have experienced it. There is strength in community as well as in solitude. There is a time and place for each. For me I have tended to isolate and work on inner strength, perspective and enlightenment needed to move forward. 5 yrs since my LH passed and just over a year since my boyfriend of 3 yrs passed. 1st year, 2nd year plus. It's been different with the exception of journaling my way through things. I run the gambit of soulful reflection, humor, gratitude, sadness and silver lining. Should anyone find my writing, journals poems and such they may think of me as half lit or onto something. I hope the latter is true and helpful. Music was a common theme today. I too listen to music mostly instrumentals Reinhardt Buhr, Jesse Cook, Yanni and many more. It seems whatever frequency they emit enables and unlocks a journey within to be created an released to the outside world ( if even just my own) and to better the understanding and communication of it. I don't recall feeling lost in all this but more of the aspect of being found. The found-ness being in the finding of strength. perspective and wisdom to move forward. I continue this journey with mindful optimism, humble bravery and courage to explore the unknown adventures ahead. We take our beloveds with us where ever we go. They reside in the place in our heart that no one else will ever occupy. In that, our hearts are huge and places with in it open and untouched where no one else have ever been. I don't ask "why me" and loves taken from my life, all be it soulfully painful. My question is "why not me" in living, loving and giving in the life that remains.

[@pigletsbank437]

Wendy your loss, vision and cooping is sooo simular ❤

[@madelynp8196]

❤❤❤

[@debbiemaclean4232]

I.m in month one.Its so hard.

[@patriciawagstaff6302]

It is 18 months since Richard passed away suddenly of heart failure. After 47 yrs of marriage. I still ask God, WHY ? I was an RN on a cardiac step-down unit. Within 24 hrs, we had to say goodbye to him as he took God's hands to heaven. This happened in mid-October 13th, 2021.. So all the first holidays I had to go through. He was my man , my lover, my best friend and I still miss him so much n I love him so. We had bought a beautiful log home on 13 acres n we loved all of this n loved being together. I keep his picture at my bedside n sometimes I keep his picture next to me.. I talk to him n tell him I love him so . The first 6 weeks my daughter of NJ...stayed with me. Without her, I would have played in the street. So now I am selling my beautiful home as I had not one person near me to stop by or call to ask wazup ? . My son lives 1 hr 10 minutes from me. He was so concerned about me being all alone. So now I am moved to an 850sqf duplex. I have, along with son n DIL, decorated my apt. All my friends and his family have gone someplace. I don't know where. But I miss talking to Richard as we were big communicators. I miss the smell of his body. You are right... No one understands or gets it. I still feel that grief stinks n on somedays grief is so evil. I hate driving into the garage as I know the house is empty, n Richard will not be there,... Thank God for GPS ! Do you all think that I will be ok at some time. I am 74 n still a cute cheeky sorta ole- der gal .. PS: My loving son and DIL n my darling granddaughter do try to very much and encourage me to be in their lives. Let me know what you think n how I can move on. I am buying a really nice bicycle. Pray for me and my neighbors that I do not crash into them !! Hugs.

[@patriciawagstaff6302]

Tap dancing. ...how great. I live 10 minutes from Lake Michigan here in Michigan.

[@patriciawagstaff6302]

Thank you ladies.

[@AviatorAngela]

"Just wait," assumes they don't die first. 🫣 Right? My husband didn't have to go through it. He never got to know. He did lose his Mom and he grieved her until the end of his life.

[@AviatorAngela]

Me too about the music. Over and over.