Erin Anastasia - "Homework Habits of a Perfectionist" (Spoken Word Poetry)

Erin Anastasia competes in Montclair State University's Grand Slam.
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"Homework Habits of a Perfectionist"
Ask my parents.
They’ll tell you,
my favorite phrase growing up
was, “I can do it all by myself.”
One day, I sat spinning the top of my Flinstones vitamin bottle
wondering, how many spins until this thing opens?
My mom, insisting that she help,
No, I told her, I can do it all by myself,
And I’ve been doing this all by myself.
This, college thing,
in case you were wondering,
I’m getting out of here with a fantastic GPA
and a pretty impressive resume,
I don’t know about you,
but for me,
college, is great.
Except for, you know,
my tendency to sometimes,
a lot of the time, procrastinate.
Hey Facebook, hey old yearbook.
Is that picture frame hanging quite right?
Oh, what’s that? You want me to count the stars?
Sure, just give me a long enough essay to write.
Maybe one that’s worth twenty percent of my grade,
with potential to ruin my GPA,
when I need a 3.7, no I need a 3.8
if I even want to put it on my resume.
'Cause I want something more than that
9-5, commuter drive
making just enough to eat,
maybe this week I'll survive.
So I know, I know, It’s just an essay.
But it’s also just my life,
and I don’t want to write it wrong,
so I guess I'm not getting any sleep tonight.
And I get it, I’m a perfectionist.
Trust me, I’ve googled enough shit on it
to write a fucking Bible on it.
But nothing on those self-help sites seemed to help,
and there was that one week,
I resorted to punishing myself,
painting red tally marks on my bicep
for every night of the week I failed myself.
But how can I tell anyone this? -
That it took me three whole hours to write a goddamned sentence?
How pathetic.
And I’m too old for this self-harm bullshit.
So how do I fix this?
How do I fix this?
How do I sleep?
‘Cause I’ve gotten something like
ten hours of it this week
and when I’m driving late at night
the snakes turn into lines.
I mean, the lines turn into snakes.
Sometimes I hallucinate,
and everything starts spinning in circles
like the tops of bottles of vitamins,
and I’ll start
running in circles or,
walking in circles or,
crawling in circles or,
just lying on the ground,
treating my iPod shuffle like a magic eight ball.
Maybe The Front Bottoms will tell me what to do,
when I don’t know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
Last night, my forearms started to look a lot like canvases,
and I don’t own too many long sleeved shirts.
So before I go out and buy more long sleeved shirts,
I thought I’d try something else.
So this is me,
finally, admitting,
that maybe,
I can’t, do this,
all by, myself.

[@ErinAnastasia]

ORDER MY POETRY BOOK HERE: goo.gl/HDtsZt

[@sososaby2133]

I just... wow. This hit so hard home.... I remember one night, a few months ago, we had to write an essay, and I couldn't write that essay, so I just decided that if I couldn't write that essay there was no point in going to school or living at all. I skipped a day of class, my mother by my side, ate nothing, drank four L of tea, and wrote that essay with tears in my eyes. I got a perfect score.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Soso Saby

[@erinspence4311]

Soso Saby

[@thatotherredhead6009]

something about this comment hits me so hard. every time i watch this video i make myself come back to this, and i just sit and read it over and over again

[@ihatemickiegee]

this was an intense comment to an intensely relevant poem.

[@skylertomesek5441]

That’s how I am. I’ll get a perfect score but to get me there I have to have a mental breakdown.

[@amyc.2341]

The worst part of perfectionism is the shame and sense of failure that comes along with being unable to fulfill goals. The worst part is thinking and knowing you could do better, but for sanity's sake, you can't. I have always been a procrastinator, but in the last year, the presence of perfectionism has dwindled in my life. I don't worry about the simple worksheets I used to spend an hour on. I still overthink my hobbies and projects, but thankfully, I've learned to take a step back and assess the importance of each action. When I take a step back, I realize that I shouldn't shame myself if every stroke in a painting isn't pretty, because the bigger picture will be beautiful. Thank you for this poem.

[@theequestrianlife225]

+Amy C. So true

[@ginapetruzziello7819]

this hits so close to home because just a few nights ago i found myself staring blankly at the screen of my laptop where i had only written a sentence for my essay due the next day and i knew i was crying but i couldn't bring myself to do anything about it and i was listening to the front bottoms and hoping that maybe i could disappear inside the music and maybe if i closed my eyes the essay would go away and i wouldn't be drowning in work i didn't know how to finish and wow this poem really hits home

[@ErinAnastasia]

+gina petruzziello

[@leynalouise5329]

I always find myself coming back to this poem because it's true. I'm a high schooler and it takes me three hours a day for 4 days to write the outline of a five paragraph essay I have to write in 42 minutes.

[@ErinAnastasia]

I feel that.

[@leynalouise5329]

Erin Anastasia I have an essay in my English class Friday and haven't even come up with the thesis statement.

[@ErinAnastasia]

My only advice is to break it down into steps. Focus on each small step rather than the whole thing. The less overwhelmed you feel, the easier it will be to complete. Also - don't put pressure on yourself to make it perfect. Say hey - I'm going to write a thesis statement, and maybe it will work, maybe i'll change it later - the important thing is to be doing SOMETHING that's moving you forward, doesn't matter what.

[@leynalouise5329]

Erin Anastasia thank you. I feel really honored that you replied to me 😊 you are my inspiration as a poet.

[@ErinAnastasia]

=)

[@sarahbrown8612]

As a 16 year old I can't believe how much I can connect with this. My behaviour has even lead to having a semi-permanently skewed sleep schedule. Thank you for putting everything I constantly feel so eloquently into a poem =)

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Sarah Brown you are very welcome Sarah =)

[@heavenlyhamster1791]

That was so powerful ohmygod this is exactly how I feel. I can't finish my homework in a reasonable amount of time and then I have a panic attack because of the deadline and I never get enough sleep because I have to check for spelling mistakes at least 10 times before moving on to the next paragraph and ugh. Sometimes the anxiety is so overwhelming I have to release all the tension in very very unhealthy ways; I'm glad someone out there understands. Thank you so much for this poem Erin.

[@LikeASkyScraper1313]

"Running in circles or walking in circles or crawling in circles or lying on the ground" The Front Bottoms reference or just a coincident?

[@LikeASkyScraper1313]

WAIT I JUST CONTINUED OK WOW YUP

[@ChicaRawwr]

Logan Williams tfb❤❤❤❤

[@aliviabuchan9048]

I've listened to this poem now countless times. I've never related to any piece of writing as much as I do this, I cried the first time I heard it, I was so moved. You're gonna be okay Hun, keep going, and everyone I'm sure is extremely proud of you for having the bravery to ask for help because that takes a huge amount of strength. Keep writing, I'll keep listening Thank you for making this.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Alivia Buchan What a beautiful comment. Thank you for your kind words. That means so much to know that someone else can relate to it.

[@ErinAnastasia]

Want more of my poetry? Be sure to subscribe!

[@juliamullert3751]

Honestly, I didn't know anybody else felt this way. Thank you for making me feel understood.

[@queenskid7987]

Wowwwwwwwwww! I can so relate to this poem. I use to get real anxious when I have to study for a test or finish an essay especially since I'm so into spoken word. I want to make this beatifully underated artform we call spoken word something that people won't feel scared to express themselves like the way you did in that poem.

[@mckaylaw4338]

I'm literally am writing an essay right now. I'm four paragraphs and five hours in. I found this at the perfect timing because I had a sever crying panic attack Wednesday because of the other essay that was due but i was having trouble writing it because of this essay and the five notebook pages due and the two note summaries due and the makeup work due and a fordable due and more worksheets due finals due and i should probably get bake to work. got another two hours ahead of me to write four more sentences.

[@mackenziekirsch8913]

I was holding it together until that Front Bottoms reference wow

[@LikeASkyScraper1313]

MacKenzie Kirsch M E

[@OVOFit1]

Honestly there's so much emotion behind this it is just simply beautiful. So moving.

[@ErinAnastasia]

Thank you so much! I will definitely check out your channel as well =)

[@freyagoodyear7034]

This was way too relatable for comfort. Since I was 7 I had an obsession. I had to be the top of my class and have over 90% in every single test. In S2 in high school I got below 90% (88%) for the first time and I was inconsolable, crying for ages on my friends who got lower than me but took the time to console me anyway. I didn't study for my first round of prelims because I was so scared that if I studied and I didn't get all As I'd look like an idiot so I just didn't study and I got all As but now I'm scared to study for my real exams least I don't get As this time round. I have too much going on and it's tearing me to pieces. I have depression and what feels like every sub-category of anxiety under the sun, my little sister, grandpa and best friends mum who is practically my second mother all have cancer, I struggle with friendships, I might have to move school and the cherry on the top of the cake is that I just don't want to be here anymore. I just don't know what to do right now. Every night I come home and cry and I just can't do this and I am so so so so sorry for this rant but I guess I needed to get it out somewhere.

[@goob464]

Think of what would happen if you left. Actually, I'm sure you already did because I do it too. Think about what it would do to people that love you. I'm sure you don't think they deserve it and I'm sure you care about them so much you don't ever want to hurt them. Don't leave, for them. The truth is, you don't need much to find hope. You might think everything about your life is wrong and find yourself in a pitch black room anywhere you go but maybe if one thing, maybe the smallest possible thing changed for the better you'd get all the power in the world to keep fighting. And don't feel sorry for letting your feelings out. This is one of the best things videos like this one make happen. If you want to talk about anything whatsoever, reply and I'll give you my tumblr :)

[@freyagoodyear7034]

Thank you so much. I guess I don't really think about what it'd be like for my family, I skirt around the fact, that I might hurt them. I keep looking for those little things but it is really hard to keep looking for those good things when there seem to be so many bad things too. I'd love it if we could talk, my Tumblr is batkittykat.

[@superhuman_bean5731]

I can't believe I just found this poem now. It perfectly puts into words how I feel!

[@emilyfletcher7124]

This just expressed everything I have been feeling for months, punishing myself for every time I can't study or don't study 'hard enough' or don't get stuff done.. wow. I never thought someone else could be going through the same stuff as me .

[@lunaties3569]

This is breathtaking. I know this because this is me entirely. It is so hard being a procrastinating perfectionist T-T

[@kosmikt]

Really love the front bottoms reference

[@ErinAnastasia]

+katarina Froseth FRONT BOTTOMS ARE LIFE

[@kr4784]

wow i don't even have words to explain how much i love your poetry honestly

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Kiraly R.

[@MadCupcake38]

I have never related to something so strongly in my life, this brought me to tears in a good way because I can tell you bared your heart and soul and put everything into that poem and I am speechless. I have been there too, perfectionism feels like a silent killer and I truly relate and I tore myself apart for years at school pressurising myself to always do better and not make mistakes and it makes you feel like you're going mad, I was having panic attacks at my locker everyday, trying to hide myself from everyone cause I felt I couldn't complain cause I was considered a good pupil by teachers, but any slight error in my work made me feel worthless and stupid. Thank you for verbalising this all so well and I admire your courage it took to write this. Education systems need to realise that mental health of their students is worth more than the value they place upon school league tables and the perfect grades. Take Care lovely, and thank you again for reminding me I'm not alone xxx

[@BlackFeather713]

Fuck, this hits home so hard. My therapist said to me that my procastination and my self sabotage stem from my own perfectionism and fear of failure, so I start off with an "I don't care" attitude to avoit being hurt if I fail, explains why I had such a hard time when my anxiety kicked in in my late teens through my twenties...sorry for the long, personnal text, but the pain resonates a lot. You have a gift, please don't ever give it up. Thank you.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+BlackFeather713 No need to apologize. We are very similar. And I'm so glad that I was able to connect with you on such a personal level. It's tough. I'm still dealing with these harmful and exhausting patterns of thoughts and behavior. But I'm going to a therapist as well, and there is hope =) don't lose hope =)

[@kieranlewis5852]

From searching for The front bottoms i stumbled across this and by it's beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.

[@maybesomeothertime4250]

It's been almost a full two years since you've written this, and I still cry..

[@JustCallMeAnonymous]

Amazing! I listened to it thinking "wow, there is another person in this world who understands me". You are so brave and strong!

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Recovery Rage thanks girl!

[@morganstewart3558]

This poem was just so deep and so relatable I actually started crying.

[@izzymiller7324]

This is the most beautiful poem. I connect so deeply to every single thing you said and I've never been able to put it to words my self. Absolutely incredible. I plan to share this if I can't find a better way to explain to someone my anxiety, perfectionist habits, and self harm.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Izzy Miller I'm so glad you can relate

[@lindsaymcd5648]

i don't know if you will read this or not but this is my favorite thing to listen to. i listen to it right before school, when i get home, right before bed, when i'm feeling down, etc. it's so relatable and i just love it so much. thank you for doing what you do and thank you for sharing it with the world. you make my days memorable sometimes. your work makes me happy. thank you so much.

[@ErinAnastasia]

Lindsay McD I always read my comments. Thank you 🙂💜

[@gymnistico]

I've watched this a couple dozen times by now. I can't get it out of my head. I've been there and I didn't handle it nearly as well. I can't possibly express how much I admire your strength for asking for help. If only we could all be so brave.

[@ErinAnastasia]

Vincent Nistico Honestly, this poem was written too late. I didn't ask for help when I should have. It was only after I revisited that head space for the second time that I started reaching out to people. It's a scary thing to let people know how pathetic you feel.

[@gymnistico]

I read poetry for the first time last friday. In it, I admitted to having been a cutter. Even though it's been 4 years since I was one, it was still enough to put me on the edge of a panic attack. Late or not, it takes incredible fortitude to come out as having had a problem in our society that just doesn't understand mental disorders (especially self harm).

[@ErinAnastasia]

Vincent Nistico Well much love to you

[@gymnistico]

Erin Anastasia Prayer, Meditation, and bribing myself with cookies are all useful techniques. The whole support network thing seems to be pretty helpful as well. Feel free to shoot a message if you ever need to be reminded.

[@ErinAnastasia]

thank you! and the same goes for you =)

[@nellierevers6660]

I just went back and rewatched this..... breathtaking! I never understood the true meaning of this and it means SO MUCH! This is my favorite poem of yours and that's saying a lot because I love them all so much I never thought I could pick a favorite. This is simply amazing! Thank you so much Erin =)

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Nellie Revers you're such a sweetheart Nellie, thank you

[@elysecollins3994]

I am absolutely in love with her poems buh god she’s so gorgeous I’m jelly

[@ErinAnastasia]

Elyse Collins awwww thank you!!! 💜💜💜

[@ASMinor]

I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my KZbin channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤

[@maggiekyle1654]

I just saw this poem today and I feel like I couldn't have found it a better day. This poem is talking about my life at this moment.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Maggie Kyle

[@radtrin9008]

I've never cried over poetry, but this really hit home. It was amazing.

[@ErinAnastasia]

that's so great that you could connect with it in such an emotional way. thank you for your comment 💜

[@hballou3462]

This is incredible. Goodness gracious I cannot even form a coherent thought to type here... This poem was so accurate to last school year for me... it took me a little off-guard and I just burst into tears. This is a truly moving piece. Probably my favorite one I've stumbled upon. Thank you

[@serenadavies6782]

Is this true because it struck a chord with me. Whether it's from experience or just words, thanks for speaking up for everyone like this. The feeling that comes out from your poetry is overwhelming.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Serena Davies Thank you Serena! And yes. All of my poems are first person accounts of real life emotions and experiences. (except for the occasional persona piece like "Social Norms of the Year 2065", in which case I'm a robot, and not myself).

[@serenadavies6782]

+Erin Anastasia yeah it is easier to write about what you know. This poem calmed me down today because I was really stressed about a yearly exam, (not that watching relatable poetry about procrastination actually works because I'm procrastinating and then becoming more stressed and as you know it's a downward spiral of self hate). It does however let me know I'm not alone and that even if it's someone on the other side of the world it's ok because I'm not alone. Now I have to go and study so thank you so very much. P.S also thanks for unwittingly becoming the person I talk to, which I to find really weird but anyway it's so weird it's distracting.

[@ErinAnastasia]

good luck with your exam! be kind to yourself. and have faith in your ability to succeed =)

[@Akilopa1]

I'm proud of you both for your GPA and for admitting this to yourself and a community of supporters.

[@TomasJames93]

This is simply beautiful. It brought a genuine tear to my eye! Thank you so much for putting this into words.

[@ErinAnastasia]

TomasJames93 =)

[@Mynombrenoimporta]

This poem left me speechless.. i can relate to it on multiple levels, you have an amazing talent :) i admire your bravery to stand and recite it in front of an audience

[@ErinAnastasia]

+anixa burgos Thank you for your kind comment Anixa. That means so much to me to know that you and others can connect to it =)

[@HeyMyNameIsDurf]

Oh my gosh. Every word, every syllable strikes me to my core as I realize I'm not alone. I live this hell every day.

[@ErinAnastasia]

HeyMyNameIsDurf you're definitely not alone 💜 power through and take care of yourself. Grades don't matter much after graduation, and your health should always take priority. Things it took me way too long to realize.

[@HeyMyNameIsDurf]

Erin Anastasia thank you, so so so much

[@dustinmorgan4363]

You're amazing. I know it makes zero sense to say after watching only three and a half minutes of you but I feel the strongest love and compassion for you. You're so beautiful and it has nothing to do with your face.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Ally Morgan omg haha one of my favorite compliments I've ever received!! "You're so beautiful and it has nothing to do with your face"

[@TheSunnySimi]

I had to stop the video because wasn't about to turn on the waterworks in a public space with makeup on so I sat there trying to fan my eyes and oh jeez this is really powerful

[@darkestlavender5650]

+Erin Anastasia This piece really hit home because it perfectly describes me and how I feel on a daily basis. All of your poems really resound with me and they're really profound.

[@kateolivares9149]

this was absolutely incredible. the unapologetic rawness is so rare to find and although a trigger warning may have been nice this was so so great x it hit me so very hard

[@katekatnic3233]

I feel you girl. Not being able to write a draft of my dissertation pushed me to a suicide attempt. I feel you so hard.

[@atkaaaaaaa]

The best spoken word poetry I have ever heard!

[@OliviaConover]

Searching for testimonials about perfectionism for an outreach program I'm helping to build, I stumbled upon this and you. Amazing performance, amazing work putting your struggle and the struggle of so many others into words. :)

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Olivia Conover thank you Olivia =) that's a really great cause. I wish you all the best =)

[@alexandersterling7547]

Yes! thank you. there is something very powerful about admitting weakness. also a side note. I loved how you quoted the front bottoms and it somehow made me like your work more, which i thought would be impossible.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Alex castile Front Bottoms are life

[@kr4784]

wow holy shit i don't even have words to explain how much i love your poetry honestly

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Kiraly R. Thank you Kiraly =) I hope you've subscribed, I have new stuff coming =)

[@jenniferstewart165]

this was absolutely beautiful, almost had me in tears at the end.

[@processnotperfection813]

This poem is so raw and so real to me…thank you

[@ErinAnastasia]

+ProcessnotPerfection

[@bee-oo9hq]

i have never related to this more than i do right now

[@abbygene604]

You are so fantastic! I love the uneven rhyme scheme. It makes it so interesting to listen to! Wonderful job and amazing emotion.

[@loganmiddlenamepending5297]

I found this channel on accident while binge watching Sarah Kay. Also, this is I love this. You are brilliant.

[@prisca_d]

So amazing, you really know how to express your exact feelings and pull people in. It's really beautiful

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Prisca Pretzel Thank you so much Prisca! That's so kind of you to say

[@maddiedavis1124]

This poem hit me hard when I first heard it. I keep going back to it as I feel like I can finally emotionally relate to something. Whilst I'm not in Uni yet, I'm in my GCSE year which is terrifying :/ (I live in the UK). I used this to explain how I feel to a teacher the other day and I guess it finally clicked with him. Thank-you so much for verbalising this feeling

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Maddie Davis

[@kristaquinn8207]

Thank you

[@taelaholiver7437]

this was my whole middle school life/ half of freshman year of high school. wow I'm crying because I relate so damn hard. Thank you. x

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Tae Oliver

[@angeliquelong1926]

This video though! I found it last semester, and I watch it a couple times a week

[@devonbrandt5258]

This is art. I felt every single word. You have talent keep doing what you’re doing❤️❤️

[@queennani9754]

I've never felt so understood. Thank you.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Queen Nani you are completely welcome

[@writerblaquediamondd]

This was great. I really enjoyed the humor behind your words.

[@hotpink1883]

This is actually my favorite poem! I can relate to it!

[@ErinAnastasia]

+daniela ramirez That's so wonderful that you can relate to it! Thank you for listening =)

[@Gorillaz2024]

Holy cow, Erin!!! I swear to God...I just...it's just the same. I get it. Same...

[@jessicatang2493]

I relate to this so much

[@madeleph]

stunning writing and performance

[@ErinAnastasia]

+madeleph

[@hueyenooi5174]

This hits home...we're all in the same boat *laughs and cries bitterly* Thank you so much for this

[@ErinAnastasia]

huey en ooi you're so welcome 🙂💜

[@hueyenooi5174]

Erin Anastasia Hope you're okay now 💜💜 Luckily my friends were very supportive, tided me through the low times. Really love the passion you put into every piece, I've been writing quite a bit, hopefully I'll have the courage to stand in front of the mic someday😅 You're a great inspiration 💞

[@Jackboomer17]

I love this. thanks for sharing your talent

[@nothsagill2012]

So thankful I stumbled across your channel it moved me so much that it has me in tears never would I had thought that I would relate but the words struck a chord in me ! I subscribed

[@ErinAnastasia]

+ashton gill So glad that you could connect with it

[@sahvannahrose9942]

i am so happy i found your channel.. your poetry is amazing. this hits me hard. absolutely beautiful.

[@ErinAnastasia]

💜

[@rahmauneeb3262]

Such raw emotion. I love your body language

[@mangobodybutter]

A rough draft was due yesterday. The teacher announced to the class a week ago that as long as we turned it in with the minimum page requirement, we'd get full credit. It didn't matter whether or not it was shit quality. We'd get full credit nonetheless. I started the morning it was due. I tortured myself, typing elsewhere during class, trying to get myself to just fill the pages with things that just kinda made sense. "You just need the page count," I kept telling myself. "That is our priority." I watched as time lept 10 minutes for every sentence or so that I typed. It was getting closer to the end. I held onto the damning standards that are my "good enough" 'til I looked at the time. No less than 10 minutes left until class ended. Not even 5 minutes away from a printer (I was elsewhere for better internet connection). I arrived too late with a rough draft too short. 4 pages. I had to come up with 4 pages. I had 5 hours in total to get in 4 pages OR anything that is not nothing. A page, which I had more than twice of 30 minutes before the end of class, would've been better. This was one of the rudest awakenings I've received, and for once, I am seriously acknowledging that, yes, this _is_ perfectionism. It isn't poor time management, which older adults never fail to imply is the problem. I never believed them because I fuckin' love planning out the efficient usage of my time when I have to get things done. I just never factored in my extreme hesitancy to simply. just. *start.* What's funny is how disappointed I feel after every time this happens. I started asking myself why I should feel disappointed when this has happened over and over. This has been a constant of my academic life going as far back as third grade. Why did I expect anything different this time? I just needed to get this out of my system. There isn't a couple of people who I can think of that would take perfectionism as the true and legitimate problem that it is. Thank you, Erin. Thank you so much for this. I knew that I was never alone in this weird, repetitive cycle of hurt, but it wasn't until I found you reciting my history that I finally felt how true it always was.

[@mangobodybutter]

P.S. I easily took a bit more than an hour to type this comment. I'm not ashamed of it only because I didn't have some deadline that I failed to meet. I don't think our high standards are something to rid ourselves of. They ensure quality, our best efforts in the things that we put out, and that's good. I believe it's how we allow our standards to affect both our ability to move forward and our views and expectations of everything, including- and maybe especially- ourselves that's important.

[@ErinAnastasia]

Mango Body Butter thank to for your comment. And yes! There's nothing wrong with having high standards! It pushes us to produce great work. But when the pressure we put on ourselves leads to paralyzing anxiety, it's not healthy. I'm glad this poem could let you know that you're not alone 💜

[@cynthiazhou2879]

every word resonates with me. every little thing that you mention. (even front bottoms hhaha) and golly, what a coincidence, it's 5:30 am right now and hey! I have an essay to write thank you so much for this

[@laurens1002]

Holy shit this brought me to tears, I relate to every bit of this and more and I'm glad someone put it into words finally, thank you and I'm proud of you for talking about your experience

[@BroSaints]

Wow...amazingly honest

[@kayzs874]

It's sad how much I relate to this

[@lee6228]

i love erin

[@fedepa3]

the tfb reference tho love this poem so much

[@ryanmagiera4402]

published on my birthday. word.

[@justinbrox7782]

Wow. This is pretty much the story of my life. It's scary how much I relate to this. I'm putting off a bio paper right now because of this same reason. I bombed my last math test and I've been on edge all week.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+Sarah Rios Power through. Minimize the weight of it, and it'll seem less scary to take on. A bio paper doesn't matter. It's one essay that you'll spend one night of your life doing and then forget about forever. Break it down into an outline and do it piece by piece with small KZbin breaks as rewards. You'll survive the night I promise =)

[@kylelow1955]

Wow... just wow

[@Gorillaz2024]

Yes I'm commenting twice on this video because it is THAT impactful to me! (Sorry you're gonna have a lot of notifications from me today. I just discovered you and I'm on an Erin binge)!

[@ErinAnastasia]

amy wickliffe haha your comments are so wonderful, thank you 💜💜💜

[@angelavlandis9933]

Okay I procrastinate the shit out of everything so I was feeling connected to this and then she mentioned The Front Bottoms (my fav band ever) and I literally died like are you me?

[@LikeASkyScraper1313]

Angela Vlandis I WAS LOOKIG FOR THIS COMMENT I DIDNT KNOW IF IT WAS A COINCIDENCE OR NOT

[@LikeASkyScraper1313]

Angela Vlandis nvm I just continued watching and figured it out

[@ErinAnastasia]

Logan Williams haha yup it's intentional 🙂

[@ErinAnastasia]

Angela Vlandis yes we are the same person 😛

[@witchkid83]

this is my core

[@ThisisAidan]

This is me. You're not alone. I'm about half way done with my degree, and I still have a 4.0. People ask me for help all the time, and I can't quite explain that I'm sort of making it up as I go along. I'm a good crammer, a good bullshit artist. I know I'm a good student, but if I stopped procrastinating and just did it, I would have all this extra time. But sometimes it does take me two hours to write the perfect sentence. Sometimes, I don't sleep for days. Also, I loved that you mentioned The Front Bottoms. What song were your referring to? Twin Size Mattresses is my favorite. :)

[@abbygene604]

Oh, I'm positive you are going to make it big someday.

[@ErinAnastasia]

oh wow, that's so sweet of you to say, thank you =)

[@pancakes2006]

Wow

[@leonie7162]

wow, this was so powerful. thank you

[@angeliquelong1926]

I will never not share this

[@randigonzalez2849]

my procrastination led me to this video and now i'm crying in my school library

[@randigonzalez2849]

i am back

[@neptunethaplanet5074]

I needed this thank you

[@hylabrookbooks]

TEARS

[@watercolorskies]

holy fuck... this is so freaking powerful...

[@skylarmiles7614]

Okay not exactly but I have a feeling this is where I'm heading

[@ninjasonic8921]

I came back here after listening to the Front Bottoms and feeling like the lyrics sounded familiar. Back then, I thought it said "maybe the front buttons will tell me what to do", I never knew it intentionally mentioned the Front Bottoms. and that's on learning a foreign language, you will get the reference eventually, even if it takes you 5 years😅

[@ErinAnastasia]

That’s amazing 😊

[@littleclover2289]

This was beautiful.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+I Am Me thank you, you are beautiful =)

[@littleclover2289]

+Erin Anastasia just wanted to compliment on your courage of getting up in front of people and doing this. lol my English teacher tried her hardest to make me read my poetry to people. I will be sure to check for other stuff from you once I get on a comp.

[@ErinAnastasia]

awesome!

[@basicbella3793]

Erin you are a spoken word artist who has inspired me to continue writing and performing. It would mean the world to Me if you checked out my videos and provided feed back. You are such an inspiration, please never stop writing.

[@ErinAnastasia]

+APoetWithin Thank you so much! And I will absolutely check out your videos =)

[@KitKat74859AJRocks]

"I know it's just an essay, but it's also just my life and I don't wanna write it wrong."

[@janaewelsh8056]

Oh my god I thought I was the only one like this. I'm so scared of graduating for this exact reason.