Fear of Abandonment: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy - Love Is Blind UK Catherine Freddie

[@elenakalliste]

I appreciate the context for Freddie’s somewhat less desirable behavior, and I think ultimately his sister was right that he was turning into a much less happy version of himself because of Cat. I hope he finds someone who really enjoys his personality since he seems like a serious catch.

[@pearlosibu]

What less desirable than behavior?

[@andrewd5482]

I think lots of people who date people with abandonment/bpd tendencies become the same way. Reserved, stops joking, stops smiling, walks on eggshells. I am similar to Freddie’s personality though he’s much more patient. Dated the same type. My sibling was the first person to notice I’ve become a shell of what I use to be. They asked me where’s the happy person they use to know. That’s when I realized I needed to leave the person

[@elenakalliste]

@@pearlosibu he starts kind of making a big deal about their differences and being a little rude about it, especially with her friends. He’s still being pretty chill, but he definitely seems annoyed with her

[@miriammusembwa3733]

Me and my sisters were talking about how the soul seemed to leave Freddie in Greece

[@trafficcontrol2420]

Same with Demi.

[@Gerbera726]

Omg yes. There was a huge drop in his personality from the pod episodes and later on. Cat slowly sucked the life out of him. She poured her insecurities into him, and freddie didn't know how to handle that.

[@SundaysSound]

he was getting more and more unhappy. very sad to watch

[@ktokie338]

@@trafficcontrol2420 big difference because Demi did it to herself.

[@islabee94]

Because that's when she started bullying him 💀

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

The fact that she was instantly attracted to Sam explained why all her exes cheated on her. Girl has a type, a shitty type.

[@MikeyPaper]

She likes to chase Chad and Tyrone

[@clonetrooper1998]

she probably likes the predictability of an asshole, at least u know what ur getting into with a red flag, whereas the disappointment of something that seems too good to be true would feel more immeasurably hard to get over. at least thats the logic that i can see from that

[@asieduaasante9446]

Exactly......she can't appreciate a nice guy. The sister was right when she told him that maybe Cat wasn't good enough for him.

[@tigana]

@@MikeyPaperBut Freddie is more attractive than Sam though😭

[@jclyntoledo]

​@@tiganaFacts

[@orangesolivesitaly]

I loved how Freddie had some killer moves up his sleeve. Prenupt. He looked like james bond leaving the wedding. So hr seems a softy but he wasnt going to be a push over.

[@MikeyPaper]

I was so happy when he said no

[@silverbee3373]

To me it feels, Catherine has gotten away far too well here and in my opinion she is not able to have a non toxic, responsible and apprecciative relationship and really needs therapy, not a husband.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

She is using her adoption as a shield for shitty behavior and hurting people.

[@asieduaasante9446]

Exactly! I thought she was horrible lol. Insecure and spoiled

[@NinasPussy]

Yes i was surprised she didnt get called out at the reunion for her false accusations towards Olli in greece

[@kristinehovemoen7888]

Agree

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Freddie taking on the value set of the last person he's talked to is such an insightful observation!

[@cubbybear8322]

I think I definitely suffer from this

[@islabee94]

I noticed this too, it's a trait that makes people malleable and more susceptible to manipulation. I have loved ones like this and it makes me protective over them

[@marilynharper5854]

Katherine is very flirtatious that's a problem when you constantly looking for ego boost this soon become emotically tiring

[@MikeyPaper]

Shes addicted to attention

[@sundarihema25]

Freddie became very serious around catherine, I also think he did the right thing. I feel like catherine was very entitled for the love and affection from freddie no matter what she did or said.. And that's quite f'ed up...

[@silverbee3373]

Yes, Cat enjoys to devalue people to upgrade herself emotionally.

[@Gerbera726]

Yup. How can you be in a romantic relationship with someone and not have friendship in it as well? Every long-lasting relationship is built upon it. And you can ask spouses and they'll tell you their their other half is their best friend. I'm glad his sister opened his eyes bc he became so withdrawn and serious towards the end.

[@islabee94]

It wasn't just serious, he was miserable. She snapped and jabbed at him whenever he was cheerful and playful to the point where he was just completely dejected, like a sad little puppy. She's the kind of woman who needs a man to "put her in her place" and who acts like a mean bully if she senses any weakness/vulnerability. She needs to work on herself and when she's ready to date, she needs a man who will not let her have the upper hand. Some people just don't do well with power and she's one of them. Imo Freddie needs to be with someone kind and gentle like he is. Someone who can delight in his boyish playfulness rather than being irritated by it. He's too pliable and soft for a harsh partner. It's good they broke up 🙏🏽

[@kristinehovemoen7888]

Agree

[@jclyntoledo]

​@@islabee94The way I got so excited when Freddie said no 😂😭, like yay Freddie is free, finally

[@NN-sk3ry]

I got annoyed with Ollie for implying that he broke it off with Cat but after listening to you and thinking about it again, I realise that he wasn't wrong because he did reject her. In fact they both knew he was the one to do the rejecting - she just rushed to be the one to verbalise the breakup. If Ollie had argued and declared his love for her, she would have accepted him. It explains why Ollie said "she took it well", because what Cat took well was that Ollie had chosen Demi (which she pre-emptively told him she knew) and so she was being the bigger person by stepping aside even though she wanted him! I just realise that I do what Cat does sometimes too. Thank you for the analysis you are doing.

[@kedeine1]

It's actually funny that you say they fell in love over the possibility that they might be related 😂😂😂😂

[@DrCherieTypes]

😁

[@rebekahsunday3254]

I wouldn’t be shocked if they were! They don’t *not* look alike

[@koladeojo7060]

Yea they do look alike

[@pearlosibu]

Yeah that was funny too 😂

[@ligli500]

On a more serious note I think it's more significant for Catherine than for Freddie, considering how much she's seeking a feeling of belonging.

[@TaniaMilagrosBalsa]

She deserves his rejection on the wedding,she was terrible with him. I believe a lot of people like me wish he had said NO

[@silverbee3373]

I feel the same and I was very happy, when Freddie said no. I don´t think she is able to have a relationship of mutual appreciation.

[@MikeyPaper]

He did say no. Did you not watch the series? 😂

[@nicoleh1680]

I feel like Cat becoming sweeter towards him after seeing his house, was probably something that prompted him to bring up the idea of a pre-nup so coldly. Honestly, I think the show should provide legal services to ensure all participants have a pre-nup before getting married in this situation. Couldn't a pre-nup be written with a time limit? Like, "as long as you stay married 5 years (or whatever), this agreement is no longer valid after this date, and normal property laws will be observed", for example. I think Freddy needed to stand up for himself, even if he might have been imperfect in doing so, especially in light of your analysis of how strongly he refers to the thoughts and opinions of others.

[@dn8015]

They all have time limits implicit in them and they are not even called prenups, they are called contracting out agreements and you can st any terms you like.

[@beth1321]

Gold Digger!

[@asieduaasante9446]

And his sister has his nephew, so Freddie is thinking of his nephew's well being. Cat should have talked to him about that instead of immediately taking offense.

[@no.6377]

I thought about that too. Honestly, even as a woman my hackles raised when she started acting so much nicer as soon as she saw the house😐😐 She was shown being so snappy and hating his jokes, but now that she sees his finances are almost certainly in order, she can find it in her to joke about the door? As with all things though, it could just be editing.

[@kevintse2870]

@@no.6377I thought the house was nothing special and she became genuinely more attracted to him because she saw a more relatable side to him. I think he decided she wasn’t the one the night she basically cold shouldered him to flirt with Sam all night.

[@sofiarosario2383]

As someone with fear of abandonment this is so eye opening - I wish you made a video on how someone with this can heal and form a secure relationship?

[@myad3871]

I second this

[@Felineintuition]

As an avoidant with a fear of abandonment, here is something that helped: therapy. It pushed me to do journaling, to write my feelings and analyze them like an adult that is in control of the narrative, instead of an emptional child who doesn't have a say.

[@anyadarlingg]

If you KZbin videos about abandonment issues, there are ton of other experts and psychologists out there with great knowledge and tips:)

[@Alkemiss]

I second this advice. Theres something of an energy transfer of putting pen to paper or verbalizing out loud how you feel. You gotta feel to heal.... that will lighten you up and allow yourself more self control ​over your emotions. @Felineintuition

[@PatientInAffliction]

@@Felineintuitionthank you for sharing. Could I ask, how long did it take you to find the right therapist? And how frequent do you go?

[@ymdroid73]

Catherine’s need for attention was so extreme that it seemed like there couldn’t be anything else. With the joking and such, which didn’t seem extreme or negative, you have to keep in mind that his day job is consoling grieving families dealing with death. Add to that obviously being very involved with the care of his disabled brother. I’d be more concerned if he couldn’t find anything light or funny in other aspects of his life.

[@inthedetails5467]

I was looking forward to this one, great analysis. I’d say Cat was fault finding long before she found out he cheated in the past and was actually the reason she asked if he has cheated. She already didn’t feel good enough for him so she needed some type of leg up to subconsciously justify her insecurities or to act emotionally abusive in an attempt to make him stay because he’s a catch in a lot of ways. Good observation about Freddie taking on the values and beliefs of those around him. Not many people notice it but I think Freddie has some people pleasing or at least some conflict avoidance tendencies. I think his older brother requiring much more attention probably made Freddie feel he can’t have much emotional space in relationships. He’s a go along to get along type which isn’t a bad trait but that can make him gullible to manipulative people. I think a big issue with Catherine is that she’s so subconsciously invested in the narratives in her head- mostly about being wronged, cheated on, or abandoned. And she unknowingly felt compelled to “create” that narrative again with Freddie. As much as it is a choice to cheat, there is a lot more complexity to cheating than someone being sexually weak or selfish in a moment. Sometimes people feel pushed and manipulated to cheat by how they are treated or how their character and intentions are assassinated, so they might as well do what they’re accused of. Psychologically speaking, it’s a form of relief to do so even if it’s wrong. And I fear Catherine may unknowingly push her partners to act out in ways which may have never been part of their character or intentions. And another reason her exes may have cheated is in an attempt to “get back” at her because she has emotionally punished and manipulated them because she projects her past and insecurities on them. So in turn, Freddie started to shame her and make accusations of her and the lifestyle she has. Granted, I think Freddie also did this to assess whether they were a good match long term and not out of defensiveness- unlike Cat. I fear Cat plays this unconscious cycle of being the victim in relationships and doesn’t realize or wants to accept that she has had a role to play in how she has been left or cheated on. When Freddie said no, I think she took the rejection as an indication of her value or essence rather than knowing that it was mostly her behavior that pushed him away. And again, Freddie’s conflict avoidance sugarcoated his reasons for saying no. I think it has less to do with lifestyle differences and more to the fact that she is manipulating him and making him out to be someone he’s not or someone he’s grown from. Lastly, I don’t think Cat wants to admit that she is “capable” of cheating or at the very least emotionally cheating or acting out in disrespectful ways many would consider cheating. And in some ways, she may look for her partners past mistakes or insecurities to feel justified or morally superior in doing so but not actually “legitimately” cheating. By that measure she’s no different than an actual cheater because she is also dishonest, disloyal, and insecure. And that’s not to shame her, but an invitation for her to have more compassion for herself and others because we all can make mistakes but can still grow and are still worthy of respect and love.

[@NN-re7cy]

💯 Very well said.

[@THEFASHIONPHASE]

Brilliant

[@iva11200]

Whoa,this was great take!!!

[@Gerbera726]

Exactly 100% what I was thinking.

[@Hale8R]

You’re so on point and amazingly insightful!

[@samiam5434]

I’m not a fan of cat. She’s very insecure because the minute he mentioned his cheating she flipped and became mean and even flirty or unfaithful to Freddie as if he cheated in her. Very strange way to react but it shows how deeply insecure she is. Freddie was sweet and I saw very little issues. She lost out but I think he dodged a bullet.

[@MJ31579]

She saw how hot he is and she got scared. If he didn't look like that, she wouldn't even have asked him about cheating. It looks like she wanted a geeky guy who would make her feel she is out of his league

[@mimydiallo]

That’s such an interesting point actually…

[@Isabelllyrics]

That was EXACTLY what I was thinking.. the amount of times she brings up his looks, his body…she definitely felt insecure and out of his league, then she knocked him down a peg whenever she could

[@Gerbera726]

I've said the same thing. I also felt that she's cheated (emotionally or physically) before that's why in her insecurities brought it up to freddie and even though he showed remorse for it she still made him feel bad over it. I would've loved to see Cat/Ollie and Freddie/Demi.

[@dani88372]

@@Gerbera726she did say she’s never cheated after she asked him.

[@IshtarNike]

​@@dani88372I get the vibe that she's the type to emotionally cheat or to REALLY push the boundaries. I remember seeing how she chatted to one of the other guys at the bar in front of her partner while being extremely flirtatious. I believe she hasn't actually physically cheated, but there's a lot of other shitty behaviours you can engage in and still claim you've "never cheated."

[@LovingFlowers]

Dr. Cherie, your intelligence and intuitive understanding of human beings is the best. LOVE your videos and appreciate your analysis!!!

[@Juniperberrie25]

Once again, your videos are so helpful and validating. The title ‘how fear drives abuse’ really resonated with me. I dated someone a few years ago with a similar personality type to Catherine - a constant need for validation (from anyone) rooted in a fear of abandonment. He pursued me and was very clear about how much he liked me, we were already friends and he told me that he’d liked me romantically for 5 years. We dated consistently, were intimate and for the most part really enjoyed our time together. Then about 5 months into dating (on reflection) he became suddenly spooked by something I’d said about my past. He didn’t vocalise his fears but, it felt like a light in him had suddenly switched off and he became obsessive about my intentions (making ‘jokes’ about me ‘waiting for someone better to come along’) and he started pushing me away with no explanation - as if overnight he’d decided that I was plotting to leave him - he started cancelling plans, taking hours to respond to messages, if at all. It was very scary to watch this switch play out with zero explanation. When I leaned in to get answers, he became very defensive and gaslighted me - trying to convince me that we were never romantically involved in the first place and that I’d misinterpreted his ‘friendliness’. He said he didn’t remember saying that he’d like me for 5 years and that all his romantic gestures were acts of friendliness that I’d misinterpreted. It was as if he wanted to make it seem like he didn’t like me that much anyway so when I ‘eventually found someone better’ he wouldn’t lose face.

[@Alkemiss]

I'm ashamed to admit that I have done this in the past with exs that I thought I wasnt good enough for. Self sabotage and having an avoidance attachment style have really ruined relationships for me but I'm now taking accountability and have healed from those experiences. It sounds like his rejection was merely a protection of a lifetime of unhappiness he would have caused you.

[@Juniperberrie25]

At least you’re accountable and healing. And you’re right. I never actually saw it that way, but it’s true, had we got into a long relationship he probably would’ve taunted me with his unhealthy avoidant tendencies and drained the joy from me.

[@angelat1839]

He sounds like someone who has unhealthy attachment styles. To deny the relationship completely is a major indication to me of someone who is manipulative and insecure. I suspect he may have been cheating on you. The relationship denial is to assuage his conscious about finding someone else and pursuing them while with you.

[@Juniperberrie25]

@@angelat1839 you are spot on. Towards the end, I learnt that he’d been seeing someone else. He’d lied to me about his whereabouts and a friend of mine saw him out on a date!! I believe he was finding someone else ready for when I ‘found someone better’. Very manipulative and deeply insecure; so many more issues than I could’ve ever imagined.

[@Juniperberrie25]

@@angelat1839 100% towards the end, he was definitely seeing someone else. I feel like she was my replacement in advance for when ‘I found someone better’. Very very manipulative and deeply insecure

[@Afak6]

Kat sucked every bit of joy, boyish charm and very essence from Freddie! The poor man was nothing but a shell of who we all fell in love with. 😔 I’m so glad he took back his power and with his sister’s encouragement walked away. I truly hope he finds an amazing sweet partner in the near future ❤ He deserves it! 😊

[@AlwaysLisaLisa]

Go shopping with your friends your close family who love shopping. Freddie dodged a bullet. He found a boundary in his process. Made the right decision.

[@biancanicholls3683]

It was sad how serious freddie became from being around Cat so much. When he met her parents you could see him light up when he talked to her dad (seemed like a goofy dad type). It showed how much of himself he was hiding.

[@edenbercier7511]

Welcome back Dr. Cherie this analysis was spot on. Will we be getting a Sabrina and Steven breakdown?? Their relationship not working out has to be studied 😅 🙏

[@pearlosibu]

That one is easy 😂

[@edenbercier7511]

@@pearlosibu My guess is idealist Isfp woman and emotionally distant Istj man 💀

[@Gerbera726]

I feel like Demi and Freddie would've made a successful couple. Both are super chill, and I feel like Freddie's personality would have lifted up Demi. He also told cat that he wouldn't care what the person on the other side of the pod looked like.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

I was thinking the same thing! Demi is also an extrovert but as we've seen with Ollie she's got a real heart for people. She wouldn't need to push Freddie to come out with her. They would have accepted each other's differences because at their core, they're similar

[@Gerbera726]

@dahliaherrod4301 yessss, I'm so glad someone else saw the same thing as I did. Demi also is a bit of a tomboy, she works out (boxing), she loves arcades rather than clubs. She would've been so chill with Freddie, and he'd never had to give up his shine.

[@saisahithi805]

But is it?? Freddie and cat have discussed how they like to go to gym and keep fit, that may have helped him in understanding how she is physically and may have liked that.

[@shireenkhan4747]

I have been Catherine and other KZbinrs watching this season are fawning over Freddie so she got me curious about my self sabotaging. Then you pointed out Freddie's mistakes/flaws and it's refreshing for me to have learned more about relationship dynamics and productive communication. Thank you!!

[@jackeeB]

I wholeheartedly believe Catherine is a cheater and an emotional abuser. Thank goodness Freddie said no.

[@Gwenzzzfrifz]

Yep - I got projecting vibes from her when she was furious at him die admitting to cheating once

[@Gerbera726]

I'm glad there are people who agree with me bc I've said it before, and people have disagreed with me.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

Catherine is emotionally abusive and manipulative. I also think Freddie is a people pleaser and passive aggressive. He's not a strong communicator and Catherine kinda walked all over him. Thank God for his sister having his back.

[@no.6377]

She gave me the feeling that she's the type to only _technically_ not cheat. But consistently push boundaries to the point where her partner feels uncomfortable and suspicious. And also to take advantage of certain circumstances that give her a moral 'pass'.

[@miriammusembwa3733]

Clicked on this video AS SOON as I saw it ❤

[@pasta_girl]

I swear you're my fave mental health professional who covered LIB and nailed this duo between my fave (Freddie) and the binch (Cat)

[@andrewd5482]

Cat is a product of her environment. She’s basically programmed by it.

[@barbarabuttler7647]

The incongruousy between her "abandoned" narrative and her supportive afoptive parents may have been jarring to Freddy. Her 180 degree in affection as soon as she saw his well-aportioned digs may have alarmed him, too. I know observing both of these displays of her character made me second guess a future with her.😮

[@cessiahc]

I don't know why a prenup is such an uncomfortable topic. I think a prenup is a must. With changes along the way, like after a certain time, when you have children, new business, job even... IMO, DO NOT MARRY without a PRENUP. Especially if you are not the main source of income & especially if you are middle class (for lack of a better word). Half of my friends & even more friends of friends who divorce have had a hell of a hard time getting the minimum for child support after separation. IMO, it is better to see what your partner is willing to give, lose upon separation. And if you are the main source of income, it is not to secure yourself some cash, but I think it is just plain reasonable. This is what i am coming in with. This is the minimum after this... years. I think its more than reasonable to talk about while you're in love. This is also the time to get out your claws and see who you & your partner really are. If it slips, that if you cheat on me I will give you ....All good. Its the best time to argue over, overcome it, come to your senses, and work out past insecurities, trauma... And believe me, even with a prenup, a divorce can be 100 times more difficult to communicate, or lack of. We are humans, who absolutely, without fail will change, evolve... Things you never thought could happen will happen, good & bad, sad... Love changes... DO it to be fair, considerate, because you love them (now), and wouldn't want to hurt them in the future if things were to change. Do a prenup with love. And avoid all that ugly stuff later. There is nothing bad about a prenup. The bad is in people. & if you do not trust now, how much less later. Instead of Cat talking to her friends about it, she should have discussed that with him. "Well what about after some years, and when we have children..?" She should have been honest, & free to imput... And Her friends seem just like her, insecure, a bit immature. They should have said, "Hey, why don't you talk to him about when you have kids..." Instead their little chats appeared divisive, calculating, & teen like. Thank you Dr. Cherie. Well done You will be seeing me! I would love to understand myself more. As well, i think, it would help me to understand others too

[@IshtarNike]

Yeah. Realistically he owns a business with a decent amount of money. She wasn't there for the creation of that wealth. There's no reason she should be entitled to half of it if they separate. She should be entitled to what she contributed e.g. the increase in valuation after they married. But not half of everything for example. It's very reasonable.

[@Le_Confuzzlement]

Catherine brought out the worst in Freddie I'm glad he decided to leave her. Catherine has some serious healing to do before her next romantic relationship if she doesn't want to sabotage that one as well. I feel like if Catherine didn't sabotage their relationship, her and Freddie could've worked

[@soulmagicinspirations]

Cat is in a relationship with another cast member we didnt see called Jake they are living together I think

[@barbarabuttler7647]

Really? 🍵​@@soulmagicinspirations

[@laolualuko9417]

@@barbarabuttler7647Yup. She’s with Jake.

[@agnieszkajamro920]

❤​@@soulmagicinspirations

[@yihaw149]

It's really sad because Cat's behaviour is that of myself, and I suffered horrible trauma from seeing my parents' marriage, as well as abuse for 20 years from my dad. I had tried everything in the book to heal my self: go to therapy, read books on trauma, meditate, journalling you name it. But it's so hard to switch off that fear of rejection and abandonment. It's almost innate. Anything your partner said can be a trigger for an emotional response. So as much as I want to hate Cat, I can fully empathise with her behaviour and reactions. She definitely needs a lot of healing and work.

[@mariaa.7327]

I actually don’t watch the show until after I’ve watched your videos about it, and your videos are much better ❤

[@lyndeeakadupsy]

Great video and spot on... It reminds me of the fearful avoidant and anxiously/securely attached dynamic. Cat has attachment wounds and is insensitive, Freddie isn't able to articulate his needs clearly or set firm boundaries around expectations. I think they could have worked, however her prickly unhealed approach was not well suited to this type of scenario. Freddie had a glowing character on the show and Cat is written off as mean and horrid, but I don't perceive it is that Black and White..

[@84Elenai]

Couldn’t agree more

[@ayeshab7696]

also what about the mega RED FLAG when Freddie said " when we are married, and if something happened to me, my assets would go to my sister" WTF? So he really doesnt care about his wife and potential kids' wellbeing? its giving man-child

[@angelmushahf]

I wanted you to say something about Cat when she said “don’t hug me” at the wedding lol

[@orangesolivesitaly]

Yeah. That was a killer move. No one saw it in the congregation.

[@smome777]

I think despite not really liking her she's entitled to reject a hug after what she considers to be a massive rejection.....it probably would have been fake for her to go for an action that was in contradiction to her heart and emotions. If she could actually behave that honestly and emotionally intelligent in all the other scenarios I would have liked her better. For example: When she gets jealous about Freddie saying Charlotte was attractive at the mixer. She wasn't able to sit in that and be honest about how that triggered her. She actually used that to set fuel under her & "get back at him" and mention several times Sam looked like her ex and didn't see the hypocrisy and went up to chat and laugh with him so that Freddie could feel the jealousy she initially felt. I hope she applies more emotional intelligence and less vengeance moving forward.

[@marywimmer5018]

I noticed a really palpable lack of care from Cat when Freddie was admitting to having cheated in the past, which was quite difficult for him to do so (for obvious reasons). It felt like she wanted to punish him for that, because ultimately she herself did not feel good enough for him…

[@Lalaland099]

Yes

[@CharleyFone-t2o]

Me watching this with my mum and creasing up that my name begins with a C…my midde name is Mary after my grandmother and my grandfather was called Bill 😅😂🤣

[@femdivinemind7777]

You might need to DM him 😂

[@observer5864]

Yes, the title of the video is just right!

[@Cultivatingjoy07]

Amazing break down of this unhealthy dynamic. This was my least favourite couple of the season & I was really hoping they would not get married! So glad they avoided that bullet!!! I felt like Cathrine was a real bully to a decent & honest man (Freddie). Freddie was for the most part, a real class act. I hope he finds someone who can really respect him. Catherine was too insecure to be kind and supportive because she didn't know how to believe she was good or worthy enough of the loyalty and the love. Freddie's sister was so insightful & wonderfully intelligent, she really was looking out for his best interests. Catherine needs a lot of healing in therapy, to avoid continuing to abuse others and self-sabotage her future.

[@Sareex88]

Please do Sabrina and Steven next!

[@maelgwni]

I actually completely agree with Catherine's feelings regarding Freddie. Obviously due to her past and past relationship trauma, she needs a partner that she feels safe with. And I don't feel Freddie can provide that for her at all. I would also feel similar regarding being with a partner who had a history of cheating. I feel she lost a lot of her feelings for him the moment he confessed it. I can't in my wildest dreams imagine cheating on a partner. It takes a certain type of person to do that, and Catherine immediately got warning bells - understandably so. Regarding her flirting with Sam, by that stage the relationship with Freddie was past repair, and inside she knew it.

[@ummjunayd1511]

Freddie wanting a prenup is alright but wanting his future wife to let his sister have the house and all his money was wild though. Just don’t marry someone you don’t trust in the first place.

[@olive4093]

She’s weird. Genuinely. It’s so sad watching him get so drained by her.

[@claudiafalk4285]

Great analysis and comments. Thank you!!

[@cristinaholme4372]

Just found your channel and I’m addicted to watching your videos so well made and informative !!

[@ktokie338]

He’s really a beautiful and attractive man. I really like him lol. I knew they weren’t going to work from the get go she’s so insecure and started treating him like his mom or like he was less then…when he’s the whole package and more. ❤

[@marilynharper5854]

Love your videos & perspective of this couple

[@kedeine1]

1st like 🎉. I love your analysis

[@TaKyraMoonlight]

I had a really strong hate for her and I was wondering why, tbh I’m very similar to her 😭 so that’s probably why. I have the same self sabotaging behaviors.

[@DrCherieTypes]

Seeing the uglier sides of ourselves play out in someone else can stir up lots of emotions. I commend you for your self awareness - acknowledgement is the first step of any healing journey ❤️

[@gigiarmany4332]

Cat is very manipulative, how is she still using her adoption as the reason for her wierd character..she was adopted as a baby into a loving family, but all she does is complain about it & then turns around & flirts with Sam while accusing Freddie of things in the past🤦🏻‍♀️just unbearable😒

[@katympwo90]

I just found your page. AMAZING IS THE WORD TO DESCRIBE IT❤. PLEASE CONTINUE🙌🙌🙌💯💯💯💯

[@katympwo90]

Ps : i will probably watch ALL your other videos because WOAHH🔥🔥🔥

[@karinapirela6213]

I love your analysis. Even if I don’t understand fully most of the time I learn a lot

[@Nita_Key]

Freddie's sister is a real one! Catherine was a walking red flag. She only started being nice to Freddie after she saw his house.

[@dethebare3865]

At one point in the video you called Catherine's behavior manipulative and abusive. For future videos, when you mention something like this, can you go into more detail on what makes something manipulative and abusive versus just mean?

[@IshtarNike]

As someone who's been in an abusive relationship and studied them a lot both from professional books and KZbin, I'd say that there's not much difference except repetition. Anyone can be mean in a specific moment, but it becomes abusive or manipulative when it's a consistent pattern of behaviour. So it's mean to flirt with someone in front of your partner. It's manipulative to do so every time you're upset with them. It's mean to call your partner stupid. It's abusive to call them that when you know it's a massive insecurity of theirs and you do it all the time even when they've told you to please stop because it's hurting them. But instead of stopping you say it's "just a joke" and that they're "overreacting." That's emotional abuse. The latter part is even worse than saying it in a mean way because it attempts to trick the victim into believing they don't even have a right to be upset.

[@kevintse2870]

What you missed, is that Freddie made up his mind the night she decided to flirt with Sam nonstop and ignore him. He didn’t say it out loud because he’s too polite but that look said “this bitch is dead to me.”

[@gtfirewalker]

First time watching one of your videos. I’m definitely going to schedule a session.

[@eriklundstrom1336]

It would great if you did one of these for N type pairings. I feel (no data to back that up) like there are a lot of S types on love is blind, but I’m an ENTP and would love to see how intuitive operate in these parings.

[@perrierjouet2203]

Yes I always wonder why all of these people are "s" types when I've found in workplaces when undergoing Myers Briggs, at least 50% of people are "n" types if not more

[@diana-mun411]

We need videos for all he couples on the show!

[@weronikakonieczna1856]

Today I spent 6 hrs straight relentlessly queuing for Oasis tickets only to get kicked out at the altar eeehm check out. Your video and your kind shout out at the end made my day and helped me recover from this harsh rejection 😅❤

[@DrCherieTypes]

Your Super Thanks made my day ❤️🙏

[@anyadarlingg]

Suggestion- could you pls include the 4 letters/their personality type ALONG with their function stack? Im trying to remember which combination of functions equals which letter combinations, and i never can guess the last letter 😅 that would be so helpful!! Love your vids 🫶🫶

[@DrCherieTypes]

Hi there, thank you for your request, but I have decided to deliberately exclude the MBTI names of the types, because I want to distance myself from the generic MBTI descriptions and stereotypes which I do not agree with, and help people focus more on the cognitive function stack and its nuances. Hope you understand. Edit: I’ve now included the MBTI names in the description box.

[@anyadarlingg]

@DrCherieTypes ohh I see. Thank you so much for getting back to me!! It would help me retain the function stack combinations easier if they were directly paired with the letters, that's why I was suggesting it 🥲 I understand tho ♡

[@orangesolivesitaly]

2:57 introverted sensing, pulling and alluring like the sirens in odysee signalling they want an experience an̈d available to be taken. What! Such a powerul description.

[@gemstar7447]

Thank you for this analysis. I was not adopted but I feel I was abandoned around the age of 4.. I see myself in Kathryn and my patterns of behavior is similar. A bit scary! I also do the preemptive breakups and finding fault to pull the other person down. I’ve realised that I do this so I hope I can start to heal and stop perpetuating the abandonment pattern. 🙏🏽

[@love2vintage]

He was a 9 and she was a 6, and she knew it.

[@11catie111]

I wonder where the line is drawn between mental health and personality types. It seemed like there were references to BPD traits throughout the video, even though the focus was on MBTI typology. I understand the hesitation to diagnose characters from a distance, but I wondered if it might come across as slightly confusing? Irregardless, great topics and clips. Thanks so much for posting!

[@DrCherieTypes]

Thanks for your interesting question. The focus of the video is not about psychological diagnosis. It's about analysing the compatibility and relational conflicts of the couple with the help of Typology. I also see Typology and mental health as separate entities that are different angles to explain behaviour. Typology and cognitive functions describe how we perceive and process experiences, our underlying thought processes, and preferences we default to in decision making, and how we tend to communicate. Your function stack should be consistent regardless of mental state, but your mental state does affect how you use your functions. Whereas personality disorders (e.g. BPD as you mentioned) are chronic maladaptive responses to trauma that can affect all types. Different types can have the same personality disorder but the cognitive reasoning behind their same behavioural patterns could be different.

[@KL-sr5jv]

Spot on analysis. Thank you

[@donnam1832]

I saw that Freddie’s main attachment was his family. He’s not open to love. Money was put first.

[@rcplease]

Let’s gooooo🎉

[@NeziNez]

I think Freddie is a nice guy and still has an air of innocence/simplicity about him and had she had not been such a victim and bully with it he would have gone with it. I feel bad he had to cross paths with someone like Catherine. She’s the type of person who would traumatise another human if the cannot see her for what she is. She has a lot of healing to do- I hope she remains single until she can sort herself out.

[@frankieloves7078]

Why do I find it so jarring that the clips have subtitles 😅 keep trying to turn them off

[@Jbellz28]

You nailed this

[@unplainjane123]

22:11 of course we know nothing of why Freddy cheated but I got the feeling he wanted out of that relationship. So instead of breaking up he cheated so she would find out and end things. Not that this excuses his infidelity but could explain it.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

I think that's exactly what happened. He doesn't seem to know how to assertively communicate his desires so he gets quite passive aggressive and cheating is the worst kind of passive aggression.

[@doctorofletters8412]

@@dahliaherrod4301I disagree that Freddy is passive aggressive and unable to effectively communicate his desires. There was quite literally no evidence of this in his interactions with Catherine on the show.

[@CosmicHoneyMotherShip]

Amazing content/ media!

[@alittleblawg]

suggestion: first off I want to say I agree w everything you’re saying, I remember thinking the same thing with something you posted a year ago as well. However I’m ten minutes in and have to stop watching for the same reason I stopped the first time I came across your videos and that’s the amount of inserts of the show that are used to back up your point. I think it’s great that you do that ! However I do think it happening every 10 to 15 seconds creates a big dissonance within the video, makes it repetitive while simultaneously confusing to follow what you’re conveying, and overall a somewhat stressful and less flowy watching/listening experience.This may be bc I watch in 2x speed or bc I have ADD but I think if you were to continue your point and either trust us as an audience to be able to recall what we watched/or use fewer clips I think your videos could be really popular!

[@madamecurious]

I do like this format, because that way I can learn better from the mistakes made by the couples!!

[@user-mo2sg2vj3s]

It seems that Catherine is toxic. She was hurtful

[@mellyo7262]

Great insights

[@judyhoomalamalama]

To me I thought Cat was very rude to him. I think if he has a sense of humour then that is fine. This is the time to get to know each other and I guess not sure if his humor was inappropriate or it just irritated her. I think she was very critical of his behavior . That was Freddie so if he had so many qualities that she didnt like then it should have been time to just move on and stop the relationship . I know we all have alot to learn in relationships but mayb Cat was just nervous. I dont want to insult her but it just what I heard from her communications. It seemed like a dark side came out of Freedie when all this happened. I noticed it in his eyes. I wish them both the best and hope each one finds love and happiness in the future.

[@elsf]

14:33 not controversial at all, because I thought the same thing.

[@janinepolanco319]

This was great

[@user-mo2sg2vj3s]

He should protect himself because she is not kind or healthy.

[@FreddiePowell-j3m]

I have been told this several times but can you tell me how?

[@user-mo2sg2vj3s]

@@FreddiePowell-j3m personally I dated someone who was toxic and really the only thing I would do is walk away and break contact. Something seemed very off with the way she treated you, not healthy and not accountable. Perhaps going to therapy for a month to help you understand what’s going on and is it advisable to step away. For me, I would most likely develop physical illnesses and my emotional state would be unbalanced to be with someone who treated me this way. Of course it goes both ways, meaning I have a part to play so it’s never any one person’s fault. One of the most important skills in relationship is knowing when to walk away and having strength to go no contact, etc. Only you can decide what is right for you.

[@sophiajordan7118]

yes he was manipulative and try to make her leave well said!

[@liannebenn2097]

I like learning new words. Can't find a meaning for this one.

[@Ketobodybuilderajb]

Hi

[@Shortmusings]

Freddie felt like just as much of a red flag… he was completely over the top for her even when she was a little difficult and then after speaking with his sister he flipped

[@quorraquar2677]

💜💜💜💜💜

[@moonbabytarot5258]

😢😂 not relatives

[@Kakarott2023]

Freddie is a massive pushover, people pleaser, petty and childish. I had alot of exes and this kind of people are unfortunately really easy to abuse

[@jessterflies]

Ill be honest, i don't like Ollie. He wss one of the most problematic people in the cast.

[@84Elenai]

Wow! I have to deal with fear of abandonment and this is so much useful 🥹

[@kevintse2870]

What you missed, is that Freddie made up his mind the night she decided to flirt with Sam nonstop and ignore him. He didn’t say it out loud because he’s too polite but that look said “this bitch is dead to me.”