Fearful Avoidant Ex - Signs Your Avoidant Ex Is Moving On!

[@KatyaMorozova]

Apply For The Recover - Restore - Reconnect Program forms.gle/2SYPGM7kq1ibpFJX8 OR Schedule a 60 Minute Coaching Session With Me Here www.katyamorozova.me/single-session/ List of prices here >> www.katyamorozova.me/services-2/

[@nirmeenqadi5920]

He blocked me everywhere, and we meet he is mean and cruel! He asked me to stop trying to fix things. He is convinced that I am a lier and a manipulater very stubborn and selfish, won't listen to me, I ended in therapy thinking that I am a toxic person, only to discover that I am an anxious and he is fearful. Sex is an option whenever he wants it, leaving confused and conflicted, I do love him and I think there is a chance if he just listen. I am losing it to be honest, what are my options. We have been together for 6 years and broke up a year ago.

[@kimjhanp]

When I started to see these signs I broke up with my boyfriend first. I wished him well and moved on with my life.

[@alexissashanicolle8675]

Just because the FA is “moving on” doesn’t necessarily mean they are ready for a healthy committed relationship. It likely means they have a lot of internal work to do first, so if you were devalued by an FA don’t take it too personally. It’s not your fault.

[@KatyaMorozova]

Well put!

[@Appleswut]

But if the FA becomes self aware and works on growing they can have successful relationships in the future!

[@HaloHuntress]

Thank you for writing this. It's extremely relevant to me.

[@lenaflab2697]

My ex didn't even want to work on things (after 4 months together). She was confused about the reasons for losing attraction. Initially she suspected something in her (eg. emotional 'blockage') but later on was convinced we just weren't well suited for each other. She texted me in a cold manner that she now steps away from relationships quickly when things don't seem right, that we were still getting to know each other and her feelings changed. So what are the chances her attachment style was the main reason, not a genuine incompatibility? I think I might have triggered some shame in her by asking for some time to process information about her past...

[@justinc411]

FA here. Sometimes it absolutely is your fault.

[@bethanymillikan4388]

This makes a lot of sense. I am a secure attacher and yet I find myself not understanding why someone could act a certain way. You painted an accurate and clear picture of unhealthy mindsets. Yet, it's still really sad.

[@KatyaMorozova]

It can be hard to understand a disorienting and often a dark world. That said, many fa’s are oriented towards seeking answers for their challenges… it just has to happen in their own time.

[@Salslife-77]

Number 4 hit me so hard. This is exactly what my ex did. I saw it often. And no matter how much I tried to reassure her that she was worthy and deserves my love, it still ended. I'm sad she's moving on. I want her to realize this behavior, but I fear she'll realize it and be with someone else. I wish she would realize it and think of me, and come back home.

[@Slaughterproof]

What ever happened in your story?

[@Ventus_Sicarius]

yes what happened?

[@ralphjohnson1682]

There myself…

[@culalamola2]

1. Relationship sabotage 2. Devalue you, disrespect you 3. Inequality, you're "too good for them"

[@HaloHuntress]

Exactly what happened. I voiced my feelings and they blocked.

[@alexissashanicolle8675]

YES! OMG, exactly!

[@nicholasbrassard3512]

Yeah.. 1. We slowly stopped sleeping together. Then she ignored me for a week 2. She rekindled an emotional bond with her ex. 3. I was 'perfect' and I deserve better. So it was never going to work.

[@shanez1215]

Went through exactly this. It sucks because it felt like the more I tried to show her I loved her and be perfect, the more she pushed me away. I'm an AP but with a strong secure slant, I gave her an enormous amount of space to be social and retain that independence, although I was slightly needy when we were both home. I was NOT perfect, but I shouldn't have been sabotaged the way I was. She ended up emotionally and possibly physically cheating on me and breaking up with me, and never told me that she did this until I directly asked her several months later.

[@JEEPBABYB]

😮oh wow spot on

[@nielsdaemen]

8:03 *So basically they can never be happy with anyone!* It's their own problem

[@johnton6488]

Truth. Whatever happened to them in their early childhood when attachment style is forming, as adults they are responsible for their behavior.

[@schylerjohnson9216]

Yeeepppp

[@Flufero23]

Yes! This happened exactly as you described. I was offered "friendship" as he pursues a relationship with his new love. No thank you. After four years, I am finally done, too. Although I have sad moments, I am finally free. I did my best but it didn't work. I finally had the courage to choose MYSELF!

[@Revolution-tl5wo]

I am so happy to finally be learning about avoidant personality types so I can never waste another minute with one again. I'm absolutely done being in relationships where I don't get my needs met and have to leave myself out in the cold to keep a person around. So done, in fact, that I don't even see the value of "working on it" with a DA or FA if it means having to suffer another second of dismissal through their process or once again do all the emotional labor in a relationship.

[@emd4me694]

Amen

[@sunbeam9222]

That's what these relationships are for. To upgrade us to know our worth and be permanently sure of it.

[@Staystrongbrotherx]

Everything I read/watch about FA’s is once they’re done, they’re done. We had an argument and broke up suddenly. She instantly went cold, like she just disappeared on me. I could see it. So 6 weeks of no contact passed and I reached out with nice message apologising for my part and said I was open to working together. She just replied, “I’m looking forwards now and healing. Thanks for everything.” That was two weeks ago and No contact since. It’s like we literally meant nothing, there’s no emotion, no life. It’s so cold and I’ve been completely cut off. Unbelievable.

[@PiyushSharma-tk2vk]

Same

[@chantalsmissingselfawarene7655]

How long was the relationship?

[@roofieandraggy16]

I wish i could go back and save myself 3 years of stress.

[@ralphjohnson1682]

Definitely!!

[@markpack798]

She did you a massive favor.. now someone else can deal with it...

[@youtubeaccountserio2633]

Big facts

[@Michael-nr8ur]

Wow, you solved my breakup puzzle. My girlfriend is an FA and now I understand how our relationship spiraled into oblivion. Sadly, out of all my marriages (2) and relationships, she was the one for me and I had so much to offer her. Thanks Katya.

[@nikebecky4190]

Hello friends are you trying to attract or manifest love ? to get back your ex , manifest your specific person , He's the best in restoring back broken relationship and attracting

[@billyb4790]

Care to share more? Why was she the one?

[@johnton6488]

I felt the same, but after a lot of pain there came an realization, that she was not for me. At least because she treated me badly - so why to stay in such relationship even when you have so much to offer. Wish you the best

[@Zorro00444]

Going through the same just now. Sad she couldnt see how great our relationship and connection was. We were completing each other's sentences within weeks of meeting up. This video, although super revealing, just broke me down. Hope you found a way out of it and have something more stable and joyous now!

[@johnton6488]

@@Zorro00444 I have exactly same experience. Even after painful process in prolonged examination in psychotherapy I m suprisingly totally convinced that my appraisal on a relationship potential and genuine connection is right. I m aware that people like me with anxious-occupied attachment style tend to be skewed toward dreaming a fairytale and some of my limmerent ideas where not real. Being quite old - life bringing different experience, I never experienced such turmoil, pain and disassembly of my Self, belief system of how the things are not only in relationships and even first time in my life repeated dissociative episodes during and after breakup. I was broken like you mentioned and I was broken again and again in months after breakup. That extreme process of raw and brutal shadowork unsupervised by psychoterapist was accompanied by extreme physical pain end two unrelated life-threathening health crisis where I almost died (no suicidal activities, risk behaviors behind that). Revealing realizations that helped me most: 1. need to continually train my mind when thinking or interacting wit close person to distinguish manifestations of BPD symptoms from a person who have this condition. 2. important but extremely difficult part related to 1. is internalizing the truth that their mind (brain) - especially while processing emotion-ladden information and especially in close interpersonal interactions is so much different from what is the default "mode" of most people. Core part of it is to internalize that while people generally can be slow, resisting.. to understand, internalize and especially to update their beliefs and behaviors based on repeated feedback from other people, it is impossible to do the same for people with untreated BPD. They can get it cognitively but due to untreated BPD this cant be translated to how and what they feel or to update their interpersonal behavior. They think they got it, but due to BPD they cant see that they are unable to do so. So the more time they spend with you the more they are annoyed and negative by repeated interactions with their partner. And I think this is significant cause of why is their devaluation phase toward you perpetual and unreparable process. 3. Very hard truth to digest, but if you do it it will free you from trauma bond is radically accept that a person with untreated BPD can not see real you (or their how they view you is very distorted) so they can not care considerating what you feel, what you need or what are her/his behavior and talk causing you. However shocking and unbelieving is to realize that until they BPD is treated enough s/he is condemned to endlessly play the same painful role in the cursed prison theater according to the same draining script, and only one thing that is changing is an actor (and each one actor thinks he plays a role of a romantic partner but in reality he plays a role of a parent; and by not knowing it he is heavily abused and traumatized as a human being). A parent (in most cases) which a significant by his prolonged abusive and neglectful behavior toward a child was significant cause of BPD disorder as with his abusive behavior triggered the nuclear trauma that saturates the BPD It would be nice to discuss your experience

[@Rockrufflepuff]

All of these signs described my break up so clearly that I got fairly emotional. Thank you for this, a lot of these signs have left me bewildered for months. Im an AA. We broke up over 3 months ago, and its been a really hard time for me trying to understand why he was seemingly able to just not care or want to talk/reach out to me. Now I know he definitely ended up devaluing me, which hurts but it makes sense. The things you described about them opening up about feeling broken or unworthy are EXACTLY the type of things he described to me during the initial break up when I tried to get curious. He got vulnerable for a short while and openned up, then closed right back up. Even getting kinda volatile with me when he reached out a few weeks later. Despite me not trying to reach out to him at all, I've heard from friends he's painted a fairly negative view of me. He's kept me blocked, and at least right now seemingly has no desire to reach out or want anything to do with me. Despite saying it was nothing wrong that I did to him. By now I've taken steps to really try to move on myself, even if I do still miss him and would ideally like to work on things. So this video was pretty well timed...

[@goodlove554]

Hey! someone else who is more powerful and provide a faster way to restore broken relationship helped me get back my ex without stress and delay, he can also help you too immediately.

[@carolineadams8440]

I feel your pain I have been through exactly the same situation 😭💔 totally devaluation me after years of devotion. It's like I never meant a thing 😭 after watching this I know i never will again 😭 he's is gone 💔

[@KatyaMorozova]

Thank you for sharing a little about your situation. I’m glad this video resonated with you, and hopefully that clarity provides you some relief.

[@redrumax]

Sounds like the nightmare I am going through too right now.

[@georgelowe2881]

Same here, I almost stopped the video aa it created strong emotions.... I have learned more about my ex partner post break... My ex partner always said, "you get more with honey, than you do with vinegar...." I believe that we all need the vinegar where & when it requires... This video was not what I wanted to hear, nor was it smothered in butterscotch, it was what I needed to hear.... Thanks tor the vinegar :)

[@MonsterDroiid11]

Devaluation" lmao this sounds literally like narcissism :( my heart got played and broken so hard idk what to do anymore

[@SolitarySoldier]

Same here been 2 months since my relationship ended got dumped and its hurt since. Was long distance but saw each other every weekend. I made my mistakes so did she now that I’ve had time to assess things, she seems to be moving on since she on a dating app and she told me 2 weeks ago she knew we werent for each other. Hurts a lot because shes had a tendency of bouncinf around. I gave her validation and i smothered her alittle and its done

[@Julesevangeline]

This resonates with me completely, my fearful avoidant, did exactly what you described, deactivated, devalued me, demonised me, sabotaged the relationship, very hurtful and I am an anxious preoccupied, thanks, your videos have really helped me understand something Ive never experienced in the 51 years on this planet. Really hard stuff and it has put me down for a long time now.

[@KatyaMorozova]

I’m glad my videos could help. I’m sorry that you’re having a tough time.

[@whiteswordwarrior9995]

Same here lol, even completely demonised me to my mother after she had an affair behind my back

[@DavidWessels-q6j]

This is 100% accurate! She idolized me the devalued me. We were engaged to be married and she went from never being happier and more grateful to sabotaging the relationship, distancing and devaluing me. She did me a favor I suppose but I am so sad for her as she had put in a lot of self work to get to the point of accepting my love and being vulnerable in a committed relationship. It all fell apart in a matter of days.

[@perkypurple16]

I have experienced everything that you explained in your video. In fact I told my ex ‘you are projecting your insecurities on me and our relationship’

[@alfrede.neuman8611]

It crushes me that I didn't come across this information before things started to come apart between her and I. Knowing this, and adjusting myself accordingly could have saved us. Of course in the months since our split, I've grown to some degree, changed my outlook on things for the better and now have a better understanding of each of our relationship attachment styles. Its ironic...I now feel so much better equipped to recognize the signs and prevent/diffuse so many of these damaging situations before they got out of hand....but its now too late. She disconnected from me and then rebounded with a toxic ex that never stopped hovering in the background. And here I am, completely helpless to do a thing about it. After being so close to one and other for nearly 4-years in both a friendship and relationship capacity., I can't believe its all gone.

[@martinsmoud212]

Hey, do you wish to get your ex back or restore someone you love ? if yes then l'd like to recommend you to a love specialist who brought my ex back

[@coachcraigkenn8487]

Text him on WhatsApp

[@auds_e7]

Ikr I’m going through that exact mentality. Some videos say u couldn’t have done anything to help or it was doomed dont torture urself thinking u could’ve done better & saved u two.

[@billyb4790]

How are you after one year? Any updates?

[@alfrede.neuman8611]

@@billyb4790 She and I are together again. The rebound with the ex was a flash in the pan. After she realized he hadn't changed, she ended it again. A few months later, we reconnected and worked through a lot of things. Taking it slowly, with a more reserved approached. Never getting too comfortable.

[@anthonysekona]

100% accurate in my case. Thanks for sharing. I find a deep emotional bond to similar type of people and I don’t know exactly why. It’s like I want to help them find a way through their insecurities but what I’ve found is during the process of that, that I can actually lose myself. It’s a tough thing to cope with.

[@jerescot]

going through the same thing, my FA partner broke up with me 5 days ago, and I felt the hot and cold behaviour for the last 3 weeks before the end, everything Katya described pretty much. it's just such a shock, as we had such incredible passion, closeness and chemistry for the past 10 months, we felt unstoppable and sickeningly in love with each other. I started off the relationship as someone with a secure attachment style. But the last 3 weeks turned me into an anxious preoccupied.

[@adrij1640]

I totally relate to you on this. It's gotten me in trouble because I haven't been able to help and end up messed up. This last one really hurt bad. And I'm sitting with the pain, by myself for the most part, saying daily affirmations, meditating and dancing...in a battle against depression. I can't seem to take care of myself or my responsibilities. I can't wait until I can go to bed because the day tends to be the toughest at dusk. That's really when the tears come. This was a painful enough lesson to learn from. No way not to learn. It's not what I want to do, of course. I need to really learn how to take care of myself when I'm not taking care of someone else. I need to learn how to embrace or at least accept the single life and make the best of it. I need to recover. I lost my husband nearly 2 years ago in a hit and run incident. Our last 2 years of marriage, he went downhill very suddenly and quickly with drinking. I tries everything I could go help. I finally separated from him and 9 months later, he was ran over while walking back from the liquor store. He was scheduled to enter rehab 4 days later. I was very broken and was just barely getting on me feet when I met my ex. Because I saw myself as broken, I thought we would be a good match and could rebuild our lives together. I quickly learned that all the inner work I did, going to a grief group and counseling put me further on my healing journey than I realized. And it quickly became apparent that my ex was running away from facing his traumas, his emotions and his part in things. I was miles ahead of him when it comes to healing and growth. He messed me up pretty good, though, in the 4 months we were together. I have faced a setback in my grief, compounded between my recent ex and late husband.

[@mhill88ify]

I think my takeaway from this vide is: When you start to get involved with an FA and realize it, DON'T! RUN THE OTHER WAY! The similarities with a narcissist, as defined by many experts on KZbin, are striking. Really well done and well explained!!

[@krisreynolds9490]

I completely agree. I wish I had known what an avoidant was prior. I dated a narcissist before and as horrible as that was, the avoidant ultimately ended up breaking my heart a lot more.

[@akosfellner5061]

I attach a short comment: only a few weeks or months are not enough time to decide whether a FA ex moved on or not. I think it needs etc 6 months. If a FA ex doesn't reach out you neither after 6 months I think the likelihood is very high that they moved on you. But 1-2 months is not significant.

[@lenaflab2697]

My ex (4 months together) hasn't reached out for over a year now, which I'm not surprised about as she asked me to move on, didn't want to work on us further, said we were incompatible etc. Initially she said she couldn't give me what I needed because she was emotionally blocked. I guess she didn't develop feelings, but it hurts she didn't care enough...

[@akosfellner5061]

@lenaflab2697 Thanks for the share. You mentioned that you and she were together for 4 months. This is the time when the starter hormonal cocktail starts to decrease and the partners start to know and look at each other more clearly. This time is the time of real relationship building. This is a very fragile time because the partners start to see their strengths and weaknesses. If a relationship is over after 3-4 months it means that the partners are not compatible in the long run as your girlfriend said you.

[@Truckguy1970]

The time that it takes to come back around when they deactivate also depends on what triggered them in the first place or what they might have going on in their life too. They could be having financial difficulties, have stuff come up at the last minute or have family issues or unemployment issues etc. Usually when a fearful avoidant has moved on, they will usually tell you things like. "we're not right for each other" or "I think you can do better etc."

[@pvtruestmusic]

I’m going exactly through this with my ex FA... one month

[@KatyaMorozova]

Thanks for commenting and sharing.

[@jameskemp2166]

@@KatyaMorozova Hi Katya, great video...lot's of this resonates with my breakup with an FA. You and I had a private coaching session awhile back...this KZbin account is a pseudonym. Devalue and discard is classic narcissist behavior. Is this different? If so, how? Thanks!

[@bulldogboris3663]

Excellent point!I would say there is no difference..Potato Potata...doesnt even matter if you call them Narc or FA/DA. Devalue and discard is horrible treatment of a person regardless. Might as well call them Narcs. And please. Find a better attachment style to make your partner. Only a retard would want a relationship with someone who doesnt want Closeness. Closeness is what relationships are all about!Never let FA/DA's become your partner unless you want a "non partner partnership" which is an oxymoron. Find someone healthy and secure. Please try that.

[@jameskemp2166]

@@bulldogboris3663 I had never even heard of Attachment Styles until after my breakup. The breakup was what spurred me to do research and learn because I was so confused afterwards. If nothing else, that’s what I gained from that relationship

[@coachcraigkenn8487]

I got help from someone, he was the one only one who was able to help me bring back my ex husband to me and he seve and solve my relationship problem

[@mpe555]

Excellent. I have just finished going through this cycle. I have now decided I cant take anymore as I feel I have supported my FA over the last 14 years!!

[@nikebecky4190]

Hello friends are you trying to attract or manifest love ? to get back your ex , manifest your specific person , He's the best in restoring back broken relationship and attracting

[@redrumax]

My FA told me I am with him only because there is something missing in my life and I decided to play the 'saviour' with him. Thank you for this. Now I know it is all over.

[@carrieann2206]

Exactly my relationship cycle with my ex for almost 2 years. He broke up with me over10 times. I’m an AA. I’m going through therapy so I feel much stronger now knowing that this is not my fault. I would always be left with minimal answers after breakup and because each breakup was by text, while I was at work, then he would stop responding. Now I know this is not my fault and it feels different. I don’t feel sorry for him and I don’t want to go back. It causes so much anxiety for me during the relationship that I start catering to his insecurities and not being myself and voicing my opinions so a disagreement wouldn’t occur. It’s exhausting. Thank you for this video❤️

[@KatyaMorozova]

You’re welcome. Thanks for commenting.

[@auds_e7]

MY SITUATION. It hurts so much. My ex even claimed that most of those breakups didn’t count cus we weren’t broken up for that long with some of the breakups.

[@adrij1640]

I wholeheartedly relate with you on this. Exactly what I went through. I've never experienced anything like it.

[@eggs3015]

Wow! Sign 4 is spot on for my FA ex! He opened up to me about some serious things he was struggling with. He told me he loved me but I should be with someone better than him because I seem so “together.” He sees himself so poorly, then when I told him I loved him regardless of all his struggles he responded, “Why!?! There’s gotta be something wrong with you.” He started self sabotaging by avoiding me then called it quits a week later.

[@KatyaMorozova]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m glad the sign spoke to your situation.

[@eggs3015]

@Billy B Hey! We got back together back in November. Things were great for a few months, but then he unexpectedly broke up with me again a month ago. I was completely blindsided. On Valentine’s Day he called me and left a voicemail telling me that he loves me then 5 days later he just broke up with me. We have talked a little since the breakup, but I’m not sure if we can save things this time. It breaks my heart because I truly love him, but I don’t deserve this mistreatment. I hope you are doing well and healing. Best of luck to you.

[@TechnoChief117]

@@eggs3015 I know this is a bit late but I really respect that you were still able to see yourself and what you also deserved, not just him. Hope things are working out for you.

[@sunbeam9222]

They don't lie when they call it rollercoaster relationships. Mine left. I love him but I am certainly not prepared for more of the merry go round.

[@bch5758]

I was clearly devalued and then dumped without warning - and I have absolutely no idea why.. don’t know how long it was going on for or what I did wrong .. 2 weeks before., my Valentines card said ‘I love you more than you will ever know’

[@pvtruestmusic]

I’ve been thru if this year too hope it gets better man

[@inspiredx3866]

You ever hear back from them? Even casual convo?

[@bch5758]

@@inspiredx3866 at first.. periodic hot / cold.. minimal short responses.. a lot of my texts were ignored.. bread crumbing too. She wanted to remain friends, while being the most cold ‘friend’ ever

[@viklucier8793]

Déjà-vu... :(

[@romanyfirst95]

@@bch5758 me too

[@roxannepacheco5299]

Thank you for the information, it's spot on. I feel so messed up. I want to be restored but this experience will last me a lifetime. I'm afraid of having a relationship now.

[@Mari-lv1rd]

Same here.i just have never been able to trust again .

[@karlashmeedavlasta6365]

If I could turn back time....I would run aß fast as I could.

[@billyb4790]

I’m an FA and while this makes me sad I also understand 😞

[@steel128]

I've been broken up by my FA ex without reason other than I deserve better. Then, I tried to get her back two weeks later and she asked me not to contact her anymore. We didn't fight or anything. She was so into me for 8 months, then out of nowhere she was out

[@adybetambeau9835]

Same

[@zebrastripes3786]

Same here,2 years and get a text thanking me for the great 2 years,has nothing to do with me etc & that’s it. I’m in so much pain & confusion.

[@steel128]

@@zebrastripes3786 it gets better! Don't chase. And remember if you do get back together, there's a really high chance they'll do it again soon after. It's best to look at it as their loss. Work on yourself and move on to someone who will respect you more. I've been dating again and it has helped a lot to where I rarely think about her anymore

[@zebrastripes3786]

@@steel128 thank you, You’re right and even though Iam suffering I don’t want him back either because if I’m honest with myself I never got the closeness or intimacy I craved from him and I continued hoping it will get better which obviously never does. I really need to heal my anxious preoccupied attachment style before dating again.

[@johnton6488]

Deserving better is a universal cheesy excuse from most exes, but I think this time she was right.

[@mariar3136]

Right now I'm asking myself: "how can I like someone like this?! They dont sound healthy at all." I gotta do internal work to not go thru this again!🤦‍♀️😩

[@sittowardi6781]

These people are not capable of being in anything resembling healthy and meaningful relationship. They are honestly broken.

[@BaptizeInFire]

Thank you for this video. Looking back, he began to express his abandonment and insecurity issues early on. Friends were in awe of his devotion to me, I had strangers stop and tell me how obviously he loved me, by the way he looked at me and treated me in public. Our relationship wasn’t without flaws, and in hindsight I can see that he is an undiagnosed FA who exhibited many classic symptoms. Ultimately, he chose to retreat to work on himself and not damage me (his words). I think of everything, it was that last lie that hurt me the most. Recently found out that while I was working to level up my mind, spirit and body (remaining loving and empathetic to him the entire time) he’s moved on to “casual relationships”. I still love him, but I no longer want him and I take great comfort believing he will NOT be returning.

[@master328m1]

Being with an FA is a lot of work. This sounds like my FA ex-girlfriend and while reflecting the journey to our breakup, she did most of that after the honeymoon stage was over.

[@drscience_xo]

Fearful avoidant = toxic

[@youtubeaccountserio2633]

All avoidants are toxic, block block

[@MortalisPT]

There is nothing worse than this type of individual with low emotional Intelligence, you tell them they have this issue, they recognize, never want to talk about it and leave you for annother person with the shitty excuse of "we are incompatible"

[@meganhunter478]

Holy shit if this isn't where I am with my (I suppose eventually ex) husband. He just decided he was done because people change, needs change. He refuses to talk about anything meaningful

[@swcrossii]

Are you sure you aren’t a clairvoyant!? You perfectly articulated the dynamics with my ex girlfriend. Uncanny. Extraordinary. 💯

[@swcrossii]

@Billy B it’s been 1.5 years ago now - still trying to understand and heal. I am profoundly SA and my 3.5 year relationship with my FA quite literally broke my mind and directly caused a stress induced micro-heart attack.

[@KatyaMorozova]

I am not but I’ll take it as a compliment. ☺️

[@swcrossii]

@@KatyaMorozova it was surely intended as one 😊

[@Rudechoppers]

This is exactly what just happened to me with my avoidant

[@jerescot]

this was spot on to how the last 3 weeks of my relationship went. I'm devasted by the break up as we had such great passion, chemistry and closeness for nearly a year. One moment she's telling me how happy she is with the relationship and she was ready to finally introduce me to her daughter. 2 days later she started going hot and cold on me for 3 weeks straight until inevitably she ended the relationship. I've been NC for 5 days now, but sadly not holding much hope she'll come back and reach out, as the break up was amicable, but ultimately it felt final 😥

[@billyb4790]

Any updates ?

[@jerescot]

@@billyb4790 I reached out after 2 weeks, not to beg but to see if I could get some answers, and leave the door open. But she replied saying despite missing me, she still feels like she made the right decision. Havnt spoken to her for about 70 days now, she hasn't reached out, she still visits my socials every now and then...but I've come to terms with it. I have also found someone else now, just dating and taking things slowly. It helps to make me realise that there are other people out there, granted no one will ever be the same, but I'm moving forwards.

[@jerescot]

Update, it was all bullshit...she just wanted to get back with her toxic ex, who abused her and cheated on her. Some people are to damaged for a normal stable and loving relationship.

[@billyb4790]

@@jerescot sorry to hear that man. I'm fearful avoidant and unfortunately I put my now-ex through quite a bit. I'm glad I don't have a toxic ex to go back to though lol Bottom line is if people don't want to change there's not much hope for them in a relationship.

[@HaloHuntress]

Wow, so sorry to hear that. My FA broke up and blocked me about a week ago after I voiced a small concern. They always feel like deer. Ready to flee the moment things aren't perfect. We deserve stable, healthy love. Someone willing to work things out and communicate instead of taking us for granted.

[@noonevincecarterfan]

Wau.. this is a spot on description of my ex. We only had a short long distance relationship, but it was intense for a while and there was little water under the bridge until the end. Initially we connected SO well both spiritually, romantically and physically..like I've never experienced with anyone honestly..she's 37 and I'm 35. She's a feminist, communist, in her masculine, spiritual healing, alternativ medicine person. Very lively, very alpha, funny but moody at times. I didn't notice these other sides of her first and didn't put much into it when she talked about her abandonment fear and avoidant style (she didn't use those terms either), but now I know. First red flag was on our way back from an otherwise great short vacation (on just our 3rd date actually, yes her idea) where I noticed her problem with me sharing me knowleadge of C-19 with other people. Her way of arguing was unlike I've heard from her before and immedietely after, she became completely quit for the next 3 hours until we got to her place. I then asked her "Did something I said bother you today" and she then revieled it, but didn't express much frustration and that she was okay with it now. At the end of our next (3 day long) date at her place we went to a restaurant. There she stopped me during a conversation about health (we are both into health care) and said that what I said about evidence based health care triggered her. She didn't know why she said. After that date I took my train home and the next two weeks, she went from 3-4 loving texts to 1-2 every other day. She excused herself that she was busy, but I knew something was up. After those two weeks, she visited me one evening and as expected, she started opening up about what was wrong. It turned out that she was also frustrated about our apparent opposite views on feminism (she's a hard core feminist compared to most) and was not satisfied in the bedroom, saying she missed "exploration". She also said that she had lost the spark and that she was now very unsure about our future together. It was hard to hear and worse than I expected. I didn't argue much with her and we hugged and went to sleep. That night I barely slept because my anxious attachment was really triggered. She woke in up in the morning because I had promised to borrow my mothers car and drive my ex to a spirtual retreat center two hours away, where some of her friends waited for her. Being both super tired and hurt, I decided to ask her to please take the train instead. She initially didn't seem to like the idea, but she accepted. I followed her to the train. As we reached the station she said "you don't have to wait for the train with me" Then it really hit me.. she was going to leave me. Then I responded "Well okay, but have great trip, be good" One minute after entering the train she wrote to me "I'm not good at the untold, so I'm telling you that we will never see each other again. This was a very uncomfortable and sudden way to end this after a really nice talk last night" I was absolutely in shock over this turn but took my time to respond her. I appologized. She didn't seem to believe me reasons, at least not initially because of her mad response back. I waited a day and wrote her a longer message, saying that I honestly didn't just want to kick her out of my life, that I still had feelings for her and wanted to be patient like I had said the night before. I only put her on the train because I didn't feel good that morning, not to escort her out of my life. I was extremely sorry for my poor communication. She wanted to wait with her respond til after her return home. FYI: I've since then spoken with two dating coaches who seemed to think she overreachted, but they probably didn't know her attachment style..neither did I at the time. Since then my ex and I had one 15 minute cashual phone conversation where she just talked about how great her trip was and that she wants to move from our nations capital to the countryside where she's from - very close to her dad who'm she tried to reconnect more with. She never felt the kind of love from him she craved, she once stated to me. We didn't go into anything related to the breakup. As I was about to hang up she asked if I wanted to remain friends. I replied I couldn't because I could not keep contact with someone who I had feelings for who didn't want to date me. She accepted and we hung up. One week later she send me a short message, excusing that she had forgotten to send me some bedsheets I had left at her place and a "have a great day :-)". I wrote "thanks and you too". That was almost 3 weeks ago and it's been all radio silence since then. I personally really doubt I'll ever hear from her again, which hurts incredibly because I truely love her - not just because of my anxious attachment style. But I'll do my best to move forward and heal myself as much as possible. Maybe she'll reach out one day when I least expect it. To sum it up: She was VERY fast at attaching and love bombing early on. She supressed her triggers initially. She went hot-cold/in-out really fast. over 2½ weeks she went from "I want to quit my job and move to your side of the country soon" to "we will never see each other again.

[@emd4me694]

OMG. I read your post and I feel like we dated the same woman. Like literally the same exact woman with very similar experiences. Never in my life have I come across someone who behaved like her. Hopefully never again.

[@noonevincecarterfan]

@@emd4me694 Not surpriced after having heard so much about fearful avoidants the last couple of months. I tried to reach out to my ex two weeks ago and got politely rejected. It's permanently over now and that's probably a good thing in the end. She was too toxic to be in a relationship with despite her upsides. We will catch the next bus instead ;)

[@emd4me694]

@@noonevincecarterfan I ran away from mine literally about 100X in a 1 year time period. I'm on 101 as I type. I personally this time is the end, at least I hope so. I echo your sentiments. Massive upside but sadly, too lost in her pain/PTSD/hurt/bad experiences etc. I'm looking forward to meeting a normal female, normal meaning is not a narcissist/FA/DA etc LOL... At this point, an AA would be very welcome. I'd rather they over care than suppress like these FAs do.

[@noonevincecarterfan]

@@emd4me694 Sounds very much like an anxious-avoidant trap like I've been in before. If so, that should be a big road sign pointing towards yourself and your own fear of abandonment. I am currently working on my own through a great course by Briana MacWilliam. My suggestion is to look up some of her great YT videos where she goes into further detail about this topic.

[@Lotna]

@@noonevincecarterfan I don’t know how deep and intense was your relationship in the beginning, but she might as well be a narcissist. They tend to immediately accept people entirely and then drop them like a hot potatoe.

[@carolineadams8440]

Sumed up my 30yr relationship break up perfectly! He completely destroyed me in the process telling me he had never been happy and I was his one constant! We split 9wks ago I'm still struggling and he still only speaks of me in negative terms to our grown up children. After watching this video I now know there is no hope of fixing the relationship I held so dear 💔 as much as this hurt I must now accept its over, 😭

[@KatyaMorozova]

Acceptance can be painful, but eventually liberating. Be kind to yourself in your recovery process.

[@sarj5070]

Wow.....gold dust information. These people are just so messed up and when they don't do the work, they not only continue to destroy their own lives, but their partners and their families.

[@bryceoleski5680]

This is spot on my situation. Painful but helpful.

[@marcmackey565]

Went through the same thing about 3 months ago with my FA ex. I've been blamed for her issues and used as a scapegoat to devalue and disconnect. Explosive break up and blocked on everything after recently stating how in love she was with me. Reached out a few times with no response and then final time I get a response two weeks later she was in a serious relationship and wishing me well in my life. Sad and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it since it just happened on Saturday.

[@johnmaus4408]

They will start to make stuff up.

[@auds_e7]

@@johnmaus4408 Whataya mean like

[@yodlezatme157]

My breakup happened 1 month ago. She sent it through text. I was devastated. There was a lot of push and pulling last 2 years. I an AP and she is FA. I right away seeked helped I didn’t realized how attached I was. Been working on my self . Gym + therapy + fam support. She is finally starting to let her guard down. But not sure where things are going . She admitted to finally starting therapy. I hope it helps as much as it has helped me.

[@Mygfislazy]

Update?

[@larryward1075]

I was in a relationship with an FA for two years. Early this year, she suddenly became too busy and would blow me off when I tried to make plans. It all ended when I found out, after the fact, that she was cheating on me with a guy she had gone to high school with. His wife had just died when she took up with him by moving in. No explanation from her whatsoever. No I’m sorry or anything.

[@viklucier8793]

Same... Almost. :(

[@jameskemp2166]

Sorry to hear that. That will blow up in no time!

[@rajanrastogi3589]

That's brutal... I'm so sorry to hear that, you didn't deserve that.

[@goodlove554]

Text him through WhatsApp

[@goodlove554]

+ 1 ( 7 1 8 ) 5 6 7- 6 1 8 1

[@smonaful]

I remember you saying you were an fa. The way you describe them seems soooooo challenging to become self aware and change. What do you feel can get an fa to really take their inner chaos seriously?

[@KatyaMorozova]

Hey thanks for commenting! I think I’ll make a video to answer your question. A couple things can make an FA take their personal growth seriously… 1. Enough pain and heartbreak. 2. Having really strong boundaries with them (the fa) and no sugar coating how they impact you. 3. A personal crisis

[@smonaful]

@@KatyaMorozova hi yes that would be helpful for many of us. Thank you for your videos.

[@ComradeFromRhody401]

@@KatyaMorozovawow yeah 🙌 I agree. I am a human train wreck but I’m healing! I have hope for myself because I want it. I don’t like what I do. I am an FA and I am healing. I had a brutal sexual assault by my landlord in October 2016 and my ex male best friend convinced me to move in with him “to be safe“ only for him to try to trap me into a relationship and also assaulted me and kicked his dog across the room when I rejected him, and he was a big guy he was a professional athlete. Then my mom died a couple months later after an intense year long battle with cancer and then my uncle who was like my second dad and best friend who also had cancer committed suicide two months after that. My real dad died 10 years prior also of cancer, and I was a daddy‘s girl. I had hit an emotional and financial rock bottom as a result of missing work to take care of my family and I was hit by a drunk driver and had nine spinal surgeries and couldn’t work look up pregnant shortly after one of my surgeries which sent me back. I had to start accepting the reality of the situation and start to deal with my childhood, adolescent and adult traumas. I worked hard to get better physically and get back to work. I’ve made huge strides in the last few years since I’ve become aware of how I am as an FA and why. The First man I dated after my assaults and the deaths was also FA, he was a year and a half out of a 17 year marriage with a bad divorce, 3 unruly and sad kids. We are both parents. Really we were twin flames and dating him was like holding up a mirror to myself and I saw how broken he was and that he was the same as me and in many of the same ways. We helped each other start to heal but then he panicked thinking he was too broken and thought I was too good for him or he didn’t deserve me which I thought was just crazy, we are the same! I also worried that he thought I was damaged from the assaults more than anything. I was getting out of a long relationship with my 12 year old sons father as well, starting over myself so we really were mirror reflections of each other. It was definitely love though. Life and timing is what made it difficult because we both wanted to focus on being present for our kids and ourselves. Neither of us could stay out of contact with each other until about two weeks ago and we broke up over a year and a half ago. He texted me every day, multiple times a day even though he broke up with me. I realize we were using each other as therapists and that wasn’t good, but we did have this great friendship because of it. We were both trauma bonded I think. His dad had also died around the same time my dad died. He said the thought of me seeing anybody else makes him sick and thinks we should stop talking/being friends to dull the sting of eventually seeing me with anyone else and vice versa. He knew I was really sad about it and so was he, but only I had the capacity to do the work and try to stick with the relationship. I know he’s right but it sucks. I couldn’t even think about dating one else for months but I feel like a total piece of shit because I actually have been dating someone else seriously for months now (he’s Anxious) and I didn’t ever tell him (my ex) that. I feel guilty about carrying on the emotional affair with my ex while dating this AA guy because he really loves me. I really care about him and love him as a person as well, but I’m like in love with the FA. I realize it’s a rebound. We were friends first and I had told him I didn’t want to date anyone and that I was broken and wanted time by myself to heal blah blah blah.. but he was so persistent.. basically I feel like a scumbag and I am still totally in love with the FA ex that I only stopped nonstop texting with 2-3 weeks ago. My FA ex would be devastated if he knew about this new guy, and vice versa and I feel awful about it even though I wasn’t sleeping with both of them, just talking with the ex though incredibly flirtatious but I would not go over to be with him sexually. Still though feels like I’ve been cheating and I like hate myself for it but I am going to try to stay in this new relationship because I’m like 85% happy with it. Unfortunately I’m not healed enough but I am working on it I’m trying really hard to let go of this person. Honestly I should be single and I tell that to this new guy and he argues with me while also gilding me for being honest about where I am as far as my emotional health after so much crazy shit happening. I feel like he only thinks he’s in love with me because I’m pretty. I’ve always had a hard time trusting that people liked me for who I really am and not just for what I look like or the Stupid superficial social status stuff that I hate and it’s a major insecurity/core wound of mine. I’m pretty fucked up honestly lol but I’m not giving up on myself! I have hope because I have awareness and empathy. Both of them would have a broken heart in different ways if they knew about each other and it’s eating me alive. I really thought it was innocently just “staying friends” but now I realize it was an emotional affair and I should have been honest with them and myself from the beginning but I wasn’t. Trying to minimize causing anybody any pain. It’s over now and what they don’t know won’t kill them I guess. I would be devastated if someone had done this to me though so I know I’m a jerk and I feel so much guilt and shame even though I wasn’t sleeping with him. Just feels so icky I hope this goes away now that I am in no contact. The new Anxious guy is 17 years older than me and very needy clingy and bossy, and picks fights with me when he drinks and my FA ex didn’t drink or do drugs and went to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, which I really admired about him. I too have struggled with some addiction issues after the pain medications from the spinal surgeries, but I haven’t taken anything since 2016. Our sobriety also bonded us. Anyway I know I never want to feel this way or hurt anybody potentially like this ever again and I won’t. I’d say that’s growth lol

[@aix83]

@@KatyaMorozova Is it all three, or either one of these that would make an FA seriously consider working on themselves?

[@superdupeninja8149]

I was devalued than ghosted for someone else…I had no idea why it was happening at the time

[@KatyaMorozova]

I’m sorry to hear that. It can be challenging to decipher.

[@superdupeninja8149]

@@saratmariamu3886 Thanks but something’s are best left in the past

[@ashleightan6691]

Mine simply ghosted 😢 and then I looked back and realised he did subtle stabs ( refused to meet, even if we meet he wld be sulky etc) i got a closure that this is his set of problem and he doesnt want to work together

[@michaelyarmas4423]

Had a wonderful relationship with my FA (me AP) she sabotaged many times, we broke up several times, so often saying you're "too good for me" and what do you see in me I am so messed up. But this last time, we were talking moving in together and marriage, so Yes I assumed it was deactivating. but thank you for this video because now I can see. she devalued me, was disrespecting me and pulling away pretty strongly this time is final, I now see that... 😥

[@peggymarchant]

So helpful for us out here thank you❤️

[@KatyaMorozova]

I’m glad to hear it Peggy! ✨

[@coachcraigkenn8487]

I got help from someone, he was the one only one who was able to help me bring back my ex husband to me and he seve and solve my relationship problem

[@coachcraigkenn8487]

massage him on WhatsApp

[@sunspiral79]

Moving on?...lol...They were never there to start with...and likely were already involved with someone else

[@danieltrottier8599]

Ya. Just had the test. Love this vid....merci

[@KatyaMorozova]

De rien!

[@aspegel5281]

I thought devaluing is part of narcissism. So this is a core part of how a FA leaves a relationship?

[@nikebecky4190]

Hello friends are you trying to attract or manifest love ? to get back your ex , manifest your specific person , He's the best in restoring back broken relationship and attracting

[@nikebecky4190]

Believe me he is going to restore your broken relationship successfully ""💔

[@billyb4790]

It’s the way that a narcissist devalues you that makes the difference . They often do it because you fail to uphold the image of THEM (to a narc it’s alll about them, always). You failed them. You are now terrible. You are now dead to them and deserve to be dead (if a narc could get away with murder, they’d literally take your life. That’s how bad it is). An FA will often devalue you in a practical way. For example if they realize you won’t be able to meet their (impossible) needs, they will become very scared and pull away. Yes, it involves disappointment and disillusionment. But it’s not as fundamentally scathing as narcissistic devaluation. An FA may have genuine regrets about the breakup (even after devaluation) and still see you as a good person. A narc never will Hopefully that makes sense.

[@Truckguy1970]

@ 2:33 It also depends on how serious or how long you were together or involved. If it was a short term or a situationship and the deactivation is continuous, there’s a 95 percent chance they have moved on for good.

[@SingleMomBudgeting]

How does this work when you still live together? Is it as easy for the FA to just move on, or does it tend to be more on again off again?

[@coreygeiger81]

Jesus Christ! As an FA, There’s no reason we need to get into a relationship.

[@KatyaMorozova]

Certainly there's no reason to! ...Unless you want to, and when it's right.

[@coreygeiger81]

@@KatyaMorozova wholeheartedly disagree with “ Unless you want to”. We shouldn’t date until we heal, period. Why destroy another person for your needs of finding someone ?

[@KatyaMorozova]

@@coreygeiger81 Healing is not linear and it takes time... sometimes a lifetime. There's a differnece between working on yoursef and as best as you can entering into a relationship consciously AND "destroying another person" or waiting until you're fully healed... which I'm not sure if that day truly exists. As well, you can only do so much work on your own.. and can never predict what comes up for you in romantic relationship until you're actually in one. of course solo work helps and can help you prepare for a connection... but some healing can ONLY be done in relationship with another.

[@ggrand9539]

the key is to face your demons and change your energy. You didn't choose or ask for what happened. just what you got. you can do it. important to understand about deregulation, which is really common with FA's.

[@BeingVittoria]

nah man im out of here, secure here who other secure wants to have a healthy relationship 💆🏻‍♀️

[@RobbiJamesVogt]

My ex started out confident and slowly began to tell me she wasn’t good enough for me. She also told me that all the men she has been with eventually lose interest in her because she is not a “girly girl.” I did actually feel empathy for her. She also started telling me she didn’t know if she loved me as much I loved her. I should have read the signs but all in all - much good came from the relationship and I can’t complain. She made me a better, stronger man.

[@Slaughterproof]

Hmm, so #3 happened the first time we broke up, but she came back. Now we're on the breakup and it's a combination of #2 and #3. No clue of she's coming back, but I'll probably be moved on if she ever does.

[@wade8177]

The idealizing in the beginning and devalue/worthlessness towards the end is a clear sign. However, the start stop or the “reset button” appeared throughout the whole relationship from start to finish. It was a reset of physical touch every time. A kiss hello was never welcomed and had to be worked for, even if we spent 3 consecutive nights together setting the bedsheets on fire 2 days prior. There was no sense of unity or closeness much at all. Commitment??? Ha, don’t we have to experience a sense of unity/bond/closeness BEFORE we even think about commitment?duh! Geeez, I was afraid of committing too! Plus, if you have to concentrate to get to the fireworks during sex taking 45 minutes to an hour getting there that should tell you something too. No one likes puzzles to figure out. I also felt like I was a puzzle for her to figure out and worthy of being trusted. I got tired of being ignored on the deactivate phases eventually sharing the tension for attention with her was getting old. She apologized for making me feel ignored. Ha, I was not “feeling” ignored! I was feeling a bad devalued vibe by her act of ignoring. I was given the ultimatum of you can chose to accept it or not. Ha, are you serious? No I don’t accept this behavior! I do value myself and I do value my relationships in general. I trust others. I trust myself to make the correct decisions for myself and this was one of them. Someone in this state has self work to do. They are not “broken” they are not needing to be “fixed”. You can only give them clues to self reflection and their SELF DIALOGUE both internally and externally is most important for them to work on. If you are a fearful avoidant reading this try channeling your self dialogue, seriously, if you want to start meaningful relationships with others. Get out of your darkness. I’ve come across this in two relationships so far (very young and mid life). One was more extreme than the other and also different heights in the areas of signs. I’ve learned about myself from the first one and more about myself from the second one. For the second one, I was just much more prepared with self respect with time and experiences.

[@johnton6488]

FA is correlated with BPD...

[@Topgunpapa]

Literally every single point was realized in our 20 month relationship. She left and came back 8 to 10 times, left for between two days and two weeks. This time there was a huge blowup and it has been five weeks. I initiated no contact shortly after she left. it is devastating and excruciating, absolutely unbelievable. However, I have been doing a lot of self work since she left and a lot of realizations have been had. I will be able to see the red flags very early on going forward and will not make the same mistake again

[@Invisibility397]

Great I didn't want to be in the relationship with a 8yo adult so they can find out the hard way because I advised her exactly what she needed to consider modifying the perspective of her perceptions. When she felt like a child

[@jovanlazarevic382]

Not ment for raising hope for some but I think its important question. I was completly with FA and felt all the things you have meantoned. ... I have read a lot about attachment styles ... What do you think, is it possible for a FA to regreat the decision, and be willing to reconcile, after a while has past.. (6,9,12+ months) Maybe a process of re-idealisation. .... And that it really wouldn't be smart for anyone to be in a relationship with a person, who brings you to question you selfworth. Would you spend a life with a person who could reawake that feeling? Raise a child, have family,build a buisiness ? Or with someone who helps you, when You start to question your selfworth, no matter if they love you or not. .......................................... I belive that with every interaction we change a bit, positive or negative, give or gain energy, think in a certain way. It depends how deep we emotionally connect with another, that change us in way. So dont go in the same prison that you just escaped for.. But the question remains, is there a possibility, that the prision can return with mask that he or she "realised" something. And wants you back. That could be a huge trap for some...

[@JEEPBABYB]

Seems like once I figured him out it's easier for him to find another to trick 😂

[@GoFlipBurgerK]

What if I’m the fearful avoidant and I’m not sure if my ex is right for me? I’m having all these thoughts

[@KatyaMorozova]

Thanks for sharing. I can make a video answering your q’s. I’d say write them down to get clarity about your concerns and fears and be honest with your partner about them.

[@goodlove554]

Hey! someone else who is more powerful and provide a faster way to restore broken relationship helped me get back my ex without stress and delay, he can also help you too immediately.

[@coachcraigkenn8487]

M e s s a g e h I m n o w

[@coachcraigkenn8487]

@@goodlove554 +1 (2 0 4 ) 8 0 8 2 2 3 4

[@Lotna]

@relax Shouldn’t you start working on your healing first instead of analyzing others?

[@bryceoleski5680]

I've been holding on to hope that my partner had deactivated and would return. After watching this video I can see this is not the case. She devalued me, discarded, and is moving on. Easily fixable issues appeared as irreconcilable to her. The last time I saw her she looked at me with disgust.

[@warrens1757]

Why do we put ourselves through this?

[@fernfunk]

This is very good, very accurate. Thank you!

[@KatyaMorozova]

My pleasure! Thanks for stopping by.

[@RubberJunk1]

As an FA I have never stopped loving a partner and I have never devalued them. When I move on I feel it is best for both partners if I go. With a DA she could never bring her walls down and It wasn’t what I wanted, still I never devalued her.

[@Truckguy1970]

# 2 If it's more than just a deactivation, She'll be pulling away in addition with posting selfies and other stuff on social media AKA as peacocking

[@plusone8015]

Tell it like it is… and stay centered ☯️

[@Truckguy1970]

Always think of fearful avoidants as "turtles" If you try to badger them and get aggressive when they pull away, they will retreat further into shell

[@Ionlycomeoutatnight]

How does an FA move on after playing games with an AP which ended in a big argument that has never happened before?

[@coralnegro3702]

He found someone else and started to devaluate me and sabotage making it appear as it is me who looks for conflict.

[@nielsdaemen]

My FA ex was wierd weeks fore the breakup, she asked my if I thought she was being catty, and I honostly didn't think so. She was still very warm until right before the breakup. Then she just acted wierd all day and I was like: what's going on with you? I don't like it when people play games with me, it pisses me off if they can't even be honest about how they feel! I don't want her back anymore after what she did to me!

[@johnton6488]

I have yet to see FA not having BPD traits at least.

[@MegaMaxHouse]

Thanks you, i'm FA and i'm familiar 100% with what you said here. CRAZY!

[@KatyaMorozova]

Thanks for sharing!

[@elliecee8114]

These people are sick. The only thing off is I was who was constantly trying to break it off

[@Truckguy1970]

I'm pretty sure the one I'm dealing with is a FA and I've tried ending it too. She just gets upset when I do.

[@ItsSheila]

So basically they are moving on no matter what

[@heatherlove5989]

Impossible to follow with all the long ad breaks. It’s possibly good content.

[@Mygfislazy]

Can we still get them back if they “moved on”?

[@sapnapandey5922]

❤

[@inserter400]

I was is my ex always angry with me, when she broke up with me for no reason of mine ? Together 23 years !

[@ThaMonza]

So basically I gotta let her come back to me if there is to be any future tries.. good to know, I'll move on instead but still better myself.

[@myriampatriciarobles]

Will my ex avoidant partner still loves me if I said mean things to him?

[@arieljingjingsun]

I dated FA ex.... we are at NO contact now.... yes it is so hard.

[@chantalsmissingselfawarene7655]

I’m sorry, this all still sounds like deactivation.

[@exscapegoatpowerfulhealer9685]

FA in recovery here. I left because DA is a blatent lair & has a known past of having affairs. Which i see as Borderline narcissism because he sees his actions as no big deal.

[@Vatan1871]

Unfortunately, we have to stay away from the fearful avoidant unless they are ‘healed’. Don’t be their toy, they play with you even if it’s not intentional. Biggest cheaters also.

[@plusone8015]

I wonder if they teach this stuff at spy school…

[@melmusic.official]

Jesus, another view on everything✨️

[@philipgordon1118]

I was ghosted after 3 months.in one relationship I wanted to be a friend with anot h er wowan and she blocked for 2 days ,after she removed the block but wouldn't talk to me.both wowen therapy..

[@maryabuokwen8751]

i am a living testimony of Dr Effiong love manifestation that completely manifested my partner to love me unconditionally.

[@maryabuokwen8751]

You can connect with hlm on what'aspp..

[@Helpingbos]

Everything is matching for my ex😢 looks like she is gone for good now 😢

[@ggrand9539]

same with me, looking back likely very healthy for me as I as wasting so much time trying to help someone who could only focus on blame

[@Helpingbos]

@@ggrand9539my ex reached out of 2months of no contact after i worked so much on mysf and self improvement. But the signals have been mixed and she shares no concern of accountability of things she did. I feel happy and irritated at same time.

[@preacher_kyle]

2:28

[@chrisceldankosi3064]

Is this also applicable for a DA?

[@KatyaMorozova]

Yes. I believe some version of what I’m describing is applicable to DA, but not to the same degree.

[@coachcraigkenn8487]

I got help from someone, he was the one only one who was able to help me bring back my ex husband to me and he seve and solve my relationship problem

[@coachcraigkenn8487]

M e s s a g e h I m n o w

[@coachcraigkenn8487]

+1 (2 0 4 ) 8 0 8 2 2 3 4

[@charmainegaynor9225]

This sounds like a narcissist

[@billyb4790]

FAs devalue out of fear. Narcs devalue out of hatred.

[@iiheartdrake]

Sounds like a narcissist

[@KatyaMorozova]

Great points!

[@coachcraigkenn8487]

M e s s a g e h I m n o w

[@theartofmichaelpape]

Or Borderline

[@zebrastripes3786]

Similar but narcs devalue you when they see you getting more attention from them or you don’t give them top priority. FA’s come devalue when they somehow feel engulfed in the relationship.

[@iiheartdrake]

@@zebrastripes3786 good to know, thank you for the insight!

[@therealkeinemoniker]

you coaches contradict yourselves so often... deactivation can last 4-6 weeks. you said if they dont communicate with you for weeks or months then they're moving on but thats incredibly over generalized.

[@itsbritneybby]

im just still so confused, my fa/da bf broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago (for the 4th time) after probably having the best weekend ever him constantly telling me he loves me so much so affectionate loads of fun laughs just a great weekend then 2 hours after him going home phoned me and dumped me :( then said he was blocking me and hung up while i was speaking, i was like wtf, then in the night got a phone call saying he had been crying felt guilty and was sorry and that he loved me but he has still said over the last 2 weeks we are not together, he had still been calling me my pet name and saying he has been crying and is really hurting, im still being nice as i always have been still there for him im messaging but not as much as i dont know what else to do as i love him very much, because he has come back every other time im hoping he will again as he actually a really nice lovely person and our connection is so good and we can completely be ourselves infront of eachother, all i do is cry everyday i dont want to go no contact but at the same time i want him to realize what we had was amazing and i was a really good person for him :(

[@Juju-tw7we]

Any updates? Something happened the similarly 2 yrs, and just ghosted me after all this

[@itsbritneybby]

@@Juju-tw7we yeh turned out he was emotionally cheating on me sexting with tons of other women and left me for someone else, i know am on medication and suffering with ptsd :( sorry you are going through it

[@Juju-tw7we]

@@itsbritneybby it's ok i feel like my ex also did somethign similar but i have no concrete proof. but the last thing we fought about was about the female coworker he soon followed each other after removing me everywhere . so goodluck to us and fuck them