Feeling Imposter Feelings as Transgender?

[@OfficiallySarabi]

I'm in the beginning of accepting that maybe I am trans. Even though I guess I've had these thoughts for a while, I don't know whether I'm just changing the narrative of my past to fit the current narrative. That's now my imposter syndrome manifests. I've started experimenting with names and pronouns and they feel good, but I still don't know whether I will regret transitioning. I'm afraid I'll do everything then suddenly decide I hate it

[@OfficiallySarabi]

I never had a "feeling" of being trans before, so I feel like maybe it's all fake

[@DRZPHD]

I am sorry for the fearful confusion you feel. Safe exploration is always best way to go.

[@filthycasual8074]

you will man you'll feel 10x worse if you feel like an imposter now. many people go through the same thing and end a switching genders and regretting it don't do it bro

[@casper2166]

@@filthycasual8074 yeah but most people don't regret it, don't try to scare them:/

[@tinaceasera3807]

I empathize because I'm feeling similar feelings. like what if its just that I hate my body and not that im actually trans. its a lot of hard feelings to work through

[@wendyvance5144]

My imposter syndrome was strongest when I first socially transitioned. Misgendering was the main cause. Every time I was misgendered, it would cause me to doubt myself and look at myself as a fake. Great topic! Thank you!

[@johnnie2638]

Right? Being misgendered really hurts emotionally because it immediately throws me into what I call the "pretender zone". Progress I think I have made, no matter how minimal, is a big thing to me but it can all be undone with a simple "sir" or even by being called "handsome" by someone who means well. Then I start to think, "What the f***" am I doing?" Disapproving glances, snide remarks or misgendering aside I tell myself they can't be the metric by which I measure my validity. But it's still just so damn hard y'know? And all I want to do is live my life, pay my bills & bother no one. Anyway, rock on, Wendy. Have a wonderful day.

[@wendyvance5144]

@@johnnie2638 Well stated, Johnnie! Keep moving forward. You got this and it does get better. 🤗

[@johnnie2638]

@@wendyvance5144 Thank you. Hugs.

[@ahhhhhlive]

I can relate to this. Everytime it happens I just go "oh.. okay" and accept it as if the other person can see me better than I can see myself. It's not true, but it hurts.

[@GreenWormJello]

That’s completely what I feel right now. I am a trans man and I pass pretty well as a man until I speak. It’s making social integration difficult. I haven’t begun to medically transition yet and it makes it hard.

[@Mitchellangelo]

At the first week of my social transition it all felt kind of akward, like everybody was kind of playing a game for me by calling me by my right name and pronouns. Especially with my family. I needed to get used to be called that, even though it felt right.. it also felt a little weird hearing it from my friends and family. I've wanted to have this name since I was a kid, but I always thought that was weird and wrong so I pushed it away for years. So eventually starting to use that name after all those years still felt somewhat like it was wrong and fake. Luckily this lastet a VERY short time, because I was also way to happy about the fact that I could finaly live as myself and own that name! So I quess I embraced it quite early on. Another memory that I have of feeling like an imposter was at a family members house. Because I knew this person didn't really see me as me. In the beginning, it now and then felt like I was just playing my little transgender game while I was there.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@brody1216]

I just started asking others to use my chosen name and WOW I feel this so hard! It's so strange hearing a name you know you want to hear, but at the same time, reserving a sensitivity to it because for so long it's been kept a secret. My brain still goes on high alert I guess when it's said because it's either (A) expecting to hear my dead name or (B) feel like it's something that should be whispered.

[@Mitchellangelo]

@@brody1216 hang in there! With time it will start to feel normal. I still automatically reacted to my old name for a while. ones most people continue te use your real name you will stop doing that. ;)

[@casper2166]

@@brody1216 i so get that, it's *so* weird to expect your deadname and then hear your new name hahah i recently had to ask one of my friends what my name was when i was introducing myself, so it's pretty clear that it takes a while to get used to lol

[@behindzerosp]

I have this thing where I feel odd to use other name - No one changes their name or you don`t look like the name ,you never had the - THIS IS MY NAME - magical moment . I feel odd to make people that know me to use my name

[@RedJadeArt]

I think that I held off on my transition probably longer than I should have done because of this uncertainty. I was like “if I was trans, I would definitely know, so I can’t be”

[@DRZPHD]

Sadly so so common.

[@setsuzuya1751]

imagine this: you're home, got yourself a VR set, starting an RPG game. You make your avatar. looks dope. you move your hand, and the avatars hand moves accordingly. you look at the avatars hand. you see it, it's there, its yours, you have full controll, but it's just an avatar, it's not really your hand. that's how I feel all the time looking at myself xd

[@DRZPHD]

Ohhh I am so sorry.

[@setsuzuya1751]

@@DRZPHD its much more of a detachment / disassociation from myself much more then discomfort really,

[@nicholasbullock9276]

Hi Dr Z. What you said about how imposter syndrome feels like trespassing is quite relatable to me. I’m accepting and acknowledging that I am transgender, but when I talk to other trans people I feel as if I’m not “one of them” per se and that I don’t belong/am trespassing in their community. I know I am trans though because I do want to be female and notice that I get along with/connect with girls (I don’t mean in a romantic/flirtatious way) much more naturally than other AMAB people do. I also envy the female form/style and wish I could be it. All that, I also enjoy female pronouns (especially used about me in third person) and particularly the name Cynthia. This video is over a year old so people probably won’t see this but it’s therapeutic for me to write nonetheless

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and many people still read each other comments.

[@Charliagainsttheworld]

The exact same thing applies to me, I'm AMAB and feel immense imposter syndrome because when I try to be more feminine, I feel different from other trans women. Jsyk you're not alone!

[@DOSkywalkR]

​@@CharliagainsttheworldI feel different from other trans people too, but fortunately I don't beat myself up about it. I'm a "lesbian tomboy trapped in a man's body", which I guess is unusual - I dress more feminine now as I transition but have no urge to wear dresses or use makeup. But as many experts on the topic say: it's a spectrum, there are all kinds of colors in the rainbow 🌈❤

[@adrianbean3734]

So glad I found this channel... Literally been searching the internet for help and advice like this for the better part of the last month and didn't find it til now. To me the imposter syndrome always shows up when I'm around people who knew me before my transition. My solution to this was to separate myself from these people but I've been transitioning for almost 3 years now and somehow keep ending up back in contact with at least some of then, partly because I need some of the basic stability they provide to be able to get the resources I need to finish my transition.... Anyways when I'm around these people it feels like I'm still my pre-transiton self and we're all just politely trying to pretend that I'm not my old pre-transiton self but that nobody really believes it, even tho I pass for the most part. It's a quagmire... But anyways anyways your video was very very helpful for me so thank you.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing. A lot of how we see world comes from inside of our minds, which are often shared by inner fears and insecurities. Embrace who you are, own it, and never apologize.

[@stephaniereese7160]

I've experienced imposter syndrome throughout my whole transition. I think the thing that helped me most was when I changed my name and gender marker. After that because the government had identified me that way and I had proof all I have to do is look at my license and it was mark female and I felt so much better

[@DRZPHD]

Yes! Changing legal documents can be very empowering and can help decrease this feelings.

[@WadelDee]

That reminds me of a comic of Trans Girl Next Door. Let me quote: "It's so awesome to have a Driver's License that matches my gender not only does it make my life so much easier, whenever I see that tiny letter *F,* it feels like a flower blossoms in my chest~"

[@punchultimate]

My therapist told me that people only feel imposter syndrome when they already are the thing they feel like they're imitating. A successful writer who doesn't think she's good at writing/is an imposter is still a successful writer. I, a trans girl, thinking I'm not really trans/I'll never be woman enough, am still a girl no matter what my brain might tell me. I also really liked your explanation that those feeling imposter syndrome are maybe just holding onto a part that hasn't accepted the situation yet. I think that I connect with that because, on some level, no matter how happy I am at the thought of transitioning, I don't necessarily want it to be true. Life would be A LOT easier if it wasn't. But what I keep coming back to is how disappointed I am at the thought of not transitioning. My doc said that it should be somewhat safe to say that I really am trans because of how excited I get to take my hormones.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@g.goodrich9216]

The lack of confidence is not always self-inflicted wound... the fire is fueled by an invalidating environment or invalidating people and comments. To answer your question I experience the imposter syndrome as I come out to more and more people and uncover my own doubts and insecurities that then get mirrored back to me. Coming out and letting people know I am unsure, more insecurity than not gets passed around and it is almost like a currency, so I highly believe in accentuating the self love and love and understanding of others because it soothes the bad parts that hurt. It is good to be assertive when coming out and clear about things to avoid confusion and spreading hurt and insecurity.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I agree self love for self and others is also helpful.

[@simplyselena7]

Omg this made me tear up, I was feeling this way at the gym so happy you talked About it

[@DRZPHD]

Ohhh I am sorry for the pain. This shit is real!

[@AutoPrue2]

I just came out finally as trans, and it was a huge relief, I was super euphoric and it felt like bunch of my depression faded away. I came out to several people mainly my closest friends, and they are all super supportive of me. But now I’m feeling like I made a bad decision and I’m just faking this, and it makes me super worried I’m not trans.

[@DRZPHD]

Take your time. If you feel your fear is telling your this may not be your gender, thats ok too! Dont feel pressured by ANYONE! Explore.

[@AutoPrue2]

@@DRZPHD thanks a bunch for replying back. Yeah I'm in a much better head space.. I'm confident I'm not my assigned gender, I think I went way to fast for my own good enjoying the feeling of finally coming out to others and self sabatoged myself by pushing far past my current comfort zone and that led me to doubt my current feelings. I did bump up my next therapy session to discuss it more in depth, as well as see if I can get a referral to someone who specializes in gender identity issues.

[@francescajensen7733]

Hi Dr. Z! What the hell?!? Why is it that yet another video of yours is right on the money but misses the mark with me? I suffered with imposter syndrome most of my life when it came to everything I ever did or accomplished. This wasn't because I had any doubt that I wasn't trans enough, it was because I chose to hide behind a mask that was created so as not to appear as trans. For me, the feeling of not being good enough and feeling like a failure was reinforced by the fact I was an imposter. This was the case even though I always excelled at whatever I did. For me, imposter syndrome faded away when I reached a point at which I could no longer hide and took my mask off. Much love! 🤗🥰😘💋❤❤❤💃💕

[@DRZPHD]

OMG I love your point because you bring up the reverse imposter syndrome. Feeing like a fraud in your assigned gender vs preferred! Excellent point.

[@andrea2007andrea2007]

our masks are very toxic. mine got so stuck, it kinda ripping my face off cause I want to remove it and throw if away

[@salomeabrt1574]

Thank you, I was looking for a comment like this. At this stage in my life, feeling as an imposter in my assigned gender is kind of the main sign of something not going as synchronized as should be.

[@skill07qc67]

Thanks for your comment. I feel like I'm an imposter in my assigned gender, and now that I did my coming out, I feel like I'm an imposter who is not man enough...

[@GreenWormJello]

Thank you so much for this video. I would consider myself an atypical case of a trans person. I am a trans man and didn’t realize until I was 24-25. Up until that point I would say the signs that I was trans was subtle, and I was really deep into my ‘girl skin’ mode that it was really a surprising moment when I realized it. I often feel like an imposter for this reason because, even though I’ve been trying to live as a man (no medical transition yet) for nearly 2 years, I feel like I’m not ‘trans enough’. So this imposter problem perfectly describes my feelings in a way.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and please remember all of us experience this feelings.

[@MAELLLE]

Hey do you havee any update ? :) I really feel like you and have so many doubts lol

[@Katemccutcheon1246]

my voice is a dead giveaway that i am trans and of course due to my voice people still misgender me even if i say my name is kate. I am scared that once my transition is complete i won't pass enough that i will always be seen as a male and that breaks my heart. I have been on hormones for 10 months now and each time i get called sir or deadnamed it still stings.

[@Katemccutcheon1246]

@Jessie Grabow thank you so much

[@Katemccutcheon1246]

@Jessie Grabow I am going to look into her.

[@DRZPHD]

I am sorry to hear that Kate. Voice often takes work, so dont give up. I would recommend reaching out to a good voice therapist and see if you can get one session with some good solid advice to practice solo.

[@joivedhea331]

@Jessie Grabow Good strategy. I wonder why it is so hard to practice voice changes with friends and family... could it be imposter syndrome?

[@BCSchmerker]

*I hear ya, Kate! For the last three decades as a musician,* I's training to be a jack-of-all-parts on vocals for choir, and the high parts always have some flaw in 'em. Until 2016, I was convincing enough as a countertenor but not an alto, respiratory wear and tear dropped the roof on my mezzosoprano, and my whistle register gave out -- so much for soprano parts. Softening up the timbre to pass as a natural-born female will take effort, but it can be done.

[@ehalliday9024]

I am 18 months on HRT but still present male. I have done dozens of make overs and a gone out a few times. All my life I have been comfortable and confident but when my gender dysphoria exploded into my life after decades of denial, it took that confidence totally away. Everyone who has seen me female has told me I totally pass but when I look in the mirror the imposture syndrome you describe is brutally present. Thank you for this great presentation.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry it is so strongly present in your life.

[@ohanasant7763]

Me too. It’s hard tô believe in others

[@kreide1509]

From a ftm, I believe that my imposter syndrome started to manifest when people started to be transphobic with me, saying that I was just influenced, that i just wanted attention, and stuff like that. Part of me started to believe on that, but the other part of me knew that these were just stupid comments from angry people. I mean, whenever I'm recognized as a boy, I feel a big euphoria running through my body, and that was exactly what happened when I started to social transition, the fact that people were using the correct name and the correct pronouns just made me feel like I was sitting in a cloud. Yet, those transphobic comments would constantly fill my mind, and I ended up doubting about myself. I'm really grateful to find this video, so thank you a lot for making it, it really helped!

[@DRZPHD]

Sorry to hear that. Remember, the external world by far wants ppl to confirm to binaries so than they dont' have to question gender in general or even their own gender identity and what it means. When people say comments you pointed above, all they are doing are exposing their ignorance.

[@mydreamsnow4135]

Hi Dr Z! As I was taking in everything you had to say about the importance of self-love, I couldn't help but notice how happy you appear to be in this video. You look amazing. I know it was recorded over four years ago, but still. Imposter syndrome most definitely happens to everyone and in every scenario. As an older transfem about to take HRT for the first time, self doubt is ever present. However, through your coaching efforts and the efforts of my therapist and my friend Ashley, the illusion of not being true trans has dissipated greatly over the past two years. Thank you for always being there just when I need you most!! Amber ❣

[@ddnava96]

My imposter syndrome is more geared towards trans people rather than women. Sometimes I feel and think that Imm not _trans_ enough and like my story isn't as valid as those from other trans people. I'm working on it, but it also helps that I have amazing female friends that accept me as just another woman and I love them for that ❤

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@Starmander]

I feel imposter syndrome about just about every aspect of my life. Thinking about what I bring to the table isn't natural for me and I need to work on it. Just to keep that in mind really helps. Thank you!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing!

[@behindzerosp]

I can`t even test names or pronounce with people I know because I feel I am not trans enough and they don`t see me as me also because names clicked when I am thining about them alone but I feel numb when I try to use them with others. When person I don`t know use he /himor is obvious that they see me as boy I am euphoric and I always felt like if i have top surgery and end my doubts for it after it I will feel trans enough to test names ect

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am sorry to hear you are unable to test pronounce.

[@mercedes7395]

This is really good thank you! my parents do not discourage who I am but I've been taught all my life to doubt anything I think about myself. That I was always self diagnosing myself or making excuses for things. And just being grown up as being called by the female terms, has ingrained it into myself that I can't possibly be trans. And it makes it so hard for me to embrace my trans identity. I constantly end up telling myself that what if I'm just lying to myself? Which is incredibly hard on my as I'm trying to start T soon but I get over burdened with these doubts. These only came about during 2018 when I stopped seeing my first gender therapist. I stopped looking to get help for my gender and I still get stuck in a headset of well if I think or do these things I can't possibly be trans FtM. And I really hope to be able to get over this doubt so I can accept myself and be happy that I am me, and me is FtM.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@peanutbrittle99]

Thank you so much for this video! I have only come out as trans a couple of months ago (eventhough everyone already knew I identified as non-binary before I really came to terms with how unhappy I felt in my body) and especially on my period (I'm ftm) I doubt myself alot. Also in social situations where I'm alone I am really scared for transhaters because eventhough I pass very well when I wear the correct outfit, my chest is still a bit visible with a binder, and my voice is really, really female and it makes me feel so much like an imposter because of some of the comments I've gotten :(

[@DRZPHD]

Ohhh I am so sorry to hear of that. I dont know your history, but keep in mind there is no HRT requirement for top surgery.

[@Walter13200]

I’ve always had imposter syndrome. Still do. Almost everything I do, job, activity, or something. I feel like I’m missing something. This syndrome makes me stop doing things because I feel I can’t keep up with it. I cope by faking it or acting as what I believe is correct. Like fake it till you make it. My grief counselor tells me it’s mask that I wear, they aren’t fake but a piece of myself that I’m embodying. I put on different parts of myself in everything I do. When I put it together I’m just a confused and empty person. I get overwhelmed feeling like I can’t play every part at the same time. I’m not necessarily faking myself just present myself as what I “should” be. I’m working on it.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing. The key is NOT to keep up with it but recognize it is there and than move it the hell out of your way.

[@beverlytillman]

I am not trans, however, I consider your comments so valuable to me. Thank you Dr. Z.

[@rorygiambalvo2955]

I have impostor syndrome at work because they put a lot of trust in me to do things I have no degree and experience in. It helps that my colleagues are all very supportive in that I am intelligent and deserve to be there. I'm just at the very start of being out as a genderfluid person, and it helps to remember that my coworkers will likely be just as supportive and affirming

[@jaxthetrans2885]

I've definitely felt with imposter syndrome. Sometimes in small moments I still do. It started with me fearing people wouldn't accept me as a male cause I was still and am still quite fem. And my school environment didn't make things any better. And some family members told me I couldn't be a man because I'm fem. But its videos like these and videos with fem trans guys that are gradually and slowly making me doubt myself less. Thank you so much for making this video.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@theresem8496]

I feel like that when ever I hang out with all women and we are all chatting. I try and just relax and enjoy the moment accepting myself as much as the other ladies in the group accept me, but yes I do have it.

[@DRZPHD]

I am sorry. Sometimes it takes confidence to start embracing fully who we are.

[@robinhajek1850]

This video was very helpful. It is good to know that this is a common experience for many people and I am not alone in feeling this. I am in the early stages of my transition, and the imposter syndrome can be quite bad at times. It was especially bad at the very beginning, but I think I am learning to deal with it a bit better. And knowing that nearly everyone experiences it in some way makes it a bit easier. I realize now that I have had impostor syndrome even before transition, not just in relation to gender, but in other aspects of my life, such as work and relationships.

[@DRZPHD]

Yes it is very common. It becomes dominant in trans people only because they are struggling with gender issues and many seek to pass.

[@samarchist74]

The first time I ever told anyone that I felt like I was trans, it was my therapist back in the late 90's. His response was "well, let's not talk about that because we can both agree you would make an ugly woman". So yeah, pretty much impostor syndrome since then.

[@DRZPHD]

OMG!!!! Thats horrible and I am so sorry this has happened to you!! WTF is wrong with that therapist????

[@ZijnShayatanica]

Yeah, when I was younger, I got made fun of a lot that I would be a really ugly boy/man. Too short, too fat, etc. "At least as a girl, you have boobs & makeup to make you look better". But jesuschrist, from a therapist??! Ugh... Some people really don't deserve to be in that field.

[@amiiredhead2676]

Well, we can all agree that he makes a bad therapist, then.

[@MarzMunRogue]

Pre-T , well I just started low dose t today. By me being non-binary ; as well as gender fluid ; my mannerisms change throughout the day. At my job it's a lot of harassment. Ive recently realized I was transgender and not just lesbian after 15 yrs.. thank you Dr Z for this channel.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best!

[@ianwestwick4381]

Wow. My mind is blown. I feel like you have a book of my life. Your channel is amazing.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you.

[@witchboy1313]

I’ve been out now as non-binary for about six months (started questioning last year January 2019 and more quietly said it to myself earlier this year and have had periods in my life where I have felt more like a boy and more like a girl and now realize I’m neither) and I started going by Jacq instead of Jacqui (Jacqui has always felt weird to me) and have begun telling more people my pronouns because I am normally silent when people misgender me and now that I’m being more open with who I am, I am really struggling with imposter syndrome and worry that I don’t pass enough or that I’m really a fake and I’m just making this up and my brain keeps telling me that I am a girl and I just want to present myself in this more masculine way (which is a totally valid way to live and I don’t want to discount that) and call it non-binary and it’s so painful to hear these thoughts in my head because I constantly feel like I have to choose between having one foot in being a girl and one foot in being a boy and it just feels uncomfortable and wrong. I feel so constricted having to choose and this video just made me cry the whole time because I relate to so much of this. I don’t know if anything I’m saying is making sense or if anyone can relate. It makes me feel like I’m “crazy” (I hate that word because it’s ableist; idk how else to describe it). But now that I’m more seriously considering surgery to remove my breasts and seeking out medical care, I feel like I’m lying and people will find out who I really am-a fraud, a fake.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry to hear of your pain. Find your true self within, labels aside, get a hold of it and don’t let go!

[@ZijnShayatanica]

As a transmasculine NB [a lot more comfortable being treated as male, or even a "what is that?" lol], I relate to this so hardcore... Also, love the name!! I like when people are able to modify their given names to feel more comfortable. My name is Shay but I'm starting to go by Shayne because, even tho Shay is technically unisex, it feels better to masculinize it & also I can't get dead named because "Shay" is just a nickname now! Hahah

[@Girlsforever1982]

This keeps me inside my home sometimes. Also when I'm practising my voice I feel this way. It makes me question transitioning when I feel this way. I keep thinking women don't walk this way, talk this way, act this way, and so on. I think about this alot 😔 I so wish there was a magic pill to make me into a biological woman..

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry to hear.

[@keiseegee]

i really just realized how much impostor syndrome i have not just in my lesbian gender identity but in GENERAL. wow! thank you 😅

[@vanessaevangelista5766]

thank you dr.z, im a young trans woman in high school and i decided to watch this video to understand my dysphoria a lot more

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and please not my channel is marked for adults only (assuming you are younger than 18)

[@Stephanie-iv5mv]

I used to experience imposter syndrom really bad,especially with a group of cis gender girls. I made the decision to delve head first into a female dominate work occupation. the daily exposure,communication and learning from them has propelled my feelings of acceptance as one of the girls and pushed my confidence to a point where i am not only accepted as one of the girls but even now in daily life outside of work i rarely ever feel like anything except just another woman, it was super scary and nerve racking to to take to plunge directly into cis world,but the over all emotional and mental heath improvement has been the best decision i've made! most women simply think i am a female and even the few that question if i am trans still welcome me into sisterhood.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing. Community bonds are very powerful.

[@Tushumushu]

8:40 "You are who are you are, you are not a fraud. Theres nothing fraudlent about you." It makes so much sense when put logically! I started my social transition just 6 weeks ago, and I feel this everyday when I attend classes. Thank you for the guidane.

[@philipe7937]

I’m sure I am not an imposter, but that first step of coming out will be like jumping out of an airplane, there’s no going back. It’s very scary. But I want to do it so badly

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I think there is always going back if you choose to.

[@melissakelleher2904]

Thank you I really needed this. Yesterday some feared to pictures of me as sordid , because I had selfies of me wearing makeup. It really rocked my confidence and upset me .

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am sorry to hear.

[@tonichard6564]

Thank you for posting this. I am 7 months into my transition and starting feeling like I'm trespassing into womanhood. I didn't experience all the struggles and stuff that cis women do/did. This is making me fell like an imposter.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing. Keep in mind that is a common feeling in the start and it is ok to feel this way.

[@alviaiscute]

Right now. I have this intense fear of people looking to disqualify my gender. I feel like it's due to family members not believing me with things that I've told them, including some pretty severe stuff. I was bullied also... but this is the only thing that has made the imposter syndrome so bad that I have a hard time saying it out loud that I'm transgender. I'm quite early on this journey though so I can trust in myself enough that this will be a passing fear so I feel like I just need to focus on the people who actually support me and believe me.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am so sorry you are experiencing this.

[@HannahAgra]

I’m quite new to this as well (I know the comment is 1yo) so I’m just leaving this comment in case you give any updates, its nice to see how people are doing, gives me some helpful ideas sometimes. Hope you’re doing well, I’m sorry for all that! If only we could choose the family we’re born in

[@3nyasu3]

Hello Dr. Z! Your channel has been incredibly helpful to me and is continuing to help me so much in my transition now. It's like whenever I feel overwhelmed by a new problem I check your channel and bam, you already have a video on this. Like my imposter syndrome worsening right now. Just hearing that it's common makes me feel so relieved. It's really time for me to thank you, thank you so much for this channel:)

[@DRZPHD]

You are very welcome!

[@typicalo7406]

I did not start my transition yet and im not out either, but i feel like a an impostor , like a clown every time i have to pretend to identify with my biological sex, it feels horrible

[@DRZPHD]

So sorry to hear. What you describe is what I call reverse imposter syndrome. I will do a video on this. ITs when you feel like fraud in your assigned gender vs preferred. Hang in there.

[@typicalo7406]

@@DRZPHD thank you so much

[@jennaozzy6863]

This was really on point Dr Z! I was struggling a bit with this as I came out this weekend to my older conservative mom as well as across all my old RL friends on social media, and it has been an amazing time with the old friends, but also a really mixed bag with Mom.. I had to set hard boundaries today and take a break from talking to her about this for a while. I was soul-searching and discovered that I too had some internalized shame for being transgender that I am still working through, and that was making my fuller acceptance of myself harder. I think I am winning and just need to gently keep reinforcing that there is NOTHING wrong with being transgender or transitioning. It's hard losing people you cared about but I do have to be prepared for it in this case. I was as eloquent as I could be and have been very reasonable, but I have more than enough to deal with of my own. I literally can't control how others react and their decisions and the consequences of those decisions are on them. And I need to remind myself of that and not to feel guilty about them finding it difficult

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@ericajamesbuckle8913]

Imposter syndrome best describes how I feel now. I have to remind myself that I am not trying to be anyone but myself. When I do this I can let go and give up control to Erica. It's a matter of trust for me

[@DRZPHD]

Wishing you all the best.

[@ezraconstante7841]

I came out as FTM when I was 14 after I met another trans person. In middle school I had been very androgynous and would roleplay as a gay man online and sometimes as a lesbian. I’m 22 now, and I’ve been on and off hormones and I had my top surgery in summer of 2022. I keep feeling scared I made a mistake or did something wrong. I got attacked in June and once a week someone says “what the fuck is that” to me on the street or tell me that they think trans people are ugly and I feel so insecure and doubt my decisions even more. It feels really hard to have an idea of beauty that is so different from what a lot of ppl in society view as beautiful. I feel like I need to change myself but I don’t know how. I feel so sexy and confident when I look in the mirror and I see my flat chest and clothes that fit me right and my hair is grown long, but then I second guess myself. I don’t like being around trans ppl now bc I just feel like I don’t belong around them and I feel like I’m not one of them and that they’re all actually trans and I’m not. Dating as a lesbian is also rlly hard because I feel like I’m nobody’s type, and when I am, it’s because theyre a chaser. It’s also really hard dealing with sexual assault and as a drag king it just makes me want to stay inside and never perform again. I grew up in Kentucky and so many messages from then are all I hear now

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@NailZsama]

My Imposter Syndrome is mostly being triggered by my Social Dysphoria, I haven't started transition yet, I'm 28, I've suffered a lot in silence throughout the years, and I've only now really got the courage to come out. But the Social Dysphoria is killing me, I look nothing like a woman, and I don't know how to, because I can't even afford a common shaving blade...and on top of it, my jaw line when I shave makes my dysphoria even worse, it's an ouroboros of bad feelings around dysphoria, and now I feel like I'm a fraud because I don't even look like a woman...

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry for your pain.

[@NailZsama]

@@DRZPHD I know it will get better 💝 I have a great supportive girlfriend by my side that helps me feel safe and accepted, and friends that respect my identity. It doesn't help with the dysphoria, but it helps me feel safe and a bit more real in my experience as a trans woman.

[@karennafry3022]

Hello Dr Z, this is ringing Soooo true with myself.I am 18mnts into my transition and look way too male and this is where my Imposter Syndrome starts... this has helped me identify the issue so hopefully i can deal with it better, Thanks.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing! Glad it was helpful.

[@daphneallyn9386]

I've always felt like a fraud for living my life as a hetrosexual male when inside I am lesbian woman. This has been the center of a lot of self loathing and living a self destructive life. My inner me loathes the body I was born into and sabotages all I do. As you can imagine this leads to high levels of depression and anxiety. Coping methods only bring temporary and fleeting relief.

[@DRZPHD]

I am sorry to hear.

[@Here_is_Waldo]

I'm sorry you've felt that. I've felt similar; I was so certain I'd end up taking my own life that from my late teens I pushed everyone away and cut myself off from everyone socially, because I didn't want anyone to miss me when I knew I wouldn't be around much longer. 20 years of self-sabotage later and I guess I'm numb most of the time, which is about the best I ever feel. I guess I'm trying to say don't let your inner voice be the only one you hear, or it will take everything before you realise how much time has passed. I hope you find people who care about who you really are, and happiness.

[@daphneallyn9386]

@@Here_is_Waldo Thank you we are kindred spirits.

[@privatemusiclabink]

I often doubt myself as nonbinary but I try to break this cycle and be happy being nonbinary.

[@DRZPHD]

Aghh that is a struggle for many.

[@brynl-k4118]

I love this video. I feel like I've always had imposter syndrome! Not necessarily about trans things all the time, or gender all the time, but I feel like it's quite common that whenever we don't feel confident enough, and then we look and we see other people who are doing something that we think we should be doing better, or we have some sort of mental image of what we should be and we're not that, and we are upset that we can't make it that way instantaneously....it is so common! It just doesn't feel that way at the time, like seeing a tree versus the forest. It's kind of funny because it's all about confidence, like you said, and if we can get over that imposter syndrome in smaller things that we catch ourselves doing, and we know that we can gain the confidence we need in those smaller situations in which we don't feel confident (realizing that they will not last forever), then maybe we can try to see the pattern in the bigger ones... for gender or for some other big thing, knowing that we will will get the confidence provided we have the courage to see it through, like the past ones. It is tricky to be confident when you are out of your element....but I have noticed that a lot of people are, regardless of gender, sometimes they are pretending to have confidence!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing. Confidence is huge and sometimes is more about believing that “yes I can”

[@MousyOrla]

I have it big time, and it makes interacting with people nigh impossible. Even with my therapist, I definitely feel like a fake/ fraud, but especially like I'm trespassing, and waiting to get caught kinda feeling. I'm comfortable with myself being trans, I've been in transition for about a decade now, but that feeling hasn't subsided. Imposter syndrome is really negatively affecting my life, so I've become kinda a shut in again.

[@DRZPHD]

I am so sorry to hear. It can be such an internal battle.

[@jaybenoit4587]

I really thought I was alone feeling this way. Thank you so much for your videos

[@DRZPHD]

You are so welcome.

[@VoodooStyx]

My imposter syndrome is focused on how cis-presenting I am. I'm non binary but I feel that I'm very cis-looking, I have long hair and I sometimes wear eyeliner and jewellery, and it makes me feel like I'm not androgynous enough to be non binary.

[@DRZPHD]

Sorry to hear that. Non binary identity is tough to express due to lack of societal gender markers.

[@NatureLover-pj2qe]

I feel the same way. I’m non-binary but I’m very cis looking since I have long hair, a big chest and a feminine voice. I feel like I’m a fraud since I’m not androgynous enough. I look like a cis woman but it makes me uncomfortable to be called a woman, lady, she/her. I wish that I was viewed as non-binary and people would use they/them pronouns for me.

[@g.kourilo533]

I think my mother gave me Impostor Syndrome. When I was a teenager, I tried to come out to her, but her reaction was like: "Oh, all the girls hate their bodies during puberty, you'll outgrow it." Since then, I am always thinking my dysphoria isn't terrible enough to be a trans man. I always hate that I didn't have a typical boy socialization in childhood and that I would really want to detransition one day. It's one of my biggest fears:/ Transition is a very big step, and I'm afraid what if I will rethink. Thank you for your job! You're a great professional, I'm sure:)

[@celiasandaniels]

amazing Dr Z. I want to give you a hug. You answered my question about Imposter Syndrome

[@DRZPHD]

Giving you virtual hug here.

[@erinmylungs8711]

Honestly, I've been a subscriber for a long time but I never let myself properly take in the content before. Since making big life changes and accepting myself more it's all making so much sense. Thank you so much for your content ♥️

[@DRZPHD]

I appreciate that and glad the content is helpful.

[@brianhutchinson5299]

I do find your insights a great help for me keep up the good work thank you

[@DRZPHD]

Glad to help.

[@michaelpage7036]

My whole life. Knowing I was born as a male, but not feeling male enough I multiple ways. Still dealing with that too. Because I have very little experience in dating. That's why I'm questioning my life and my masculinity and feminity. As well as sexuality and gender identity.

[@DRZPHD]

I am sorry to hear that.

[@alexiskawaihae6417]

I believe I am suffering from imposter syndrome. I am nearly 3 years into my transition as an MtF. In the beginning all was great, in fact I am still enjoying my transition but now little, and a big, things make me feel out of place. In the beginning many quickly excepted me and my she/her pronoun changes without a doubt. All legal documentation has been changed Now my voice consistently gets me misgendered leaving not always wanting to speak when I must. Not to mention many whom assume SRS is a requirement to be fully transitioned but a promise to my spouse to not follow thru. This is leaving me regularly in this limbo state and feeling like an imposter as there are physical parts I do not wish to have but at same time having them. Consistently being made aware of that fact.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry to hear.

[@paulstetler4751]

I’ve experienced it my entire life. I’ve started transitioning in May, Thankful AF and an area where it is really unnerving me is dating. I identify as a lesbian and the women I am getting to know triggers my imposter syndrome and it’s easier to stay in the social media phase of getting to know each other. For my whole life I’ve coped with the syndrome by developing a persuasive charm in conversation. It’s a useful skill, but it does make me sad and can’t help but fully acknowledge it devastates my self esteem and core beliefs

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry you have experienced it for so long.

[@shannonstrobel6727]

so, how do we deal with impostor syndrome when the world is screaming at us "You ARE an impostor!" and other TERF-y language?

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for commenting. I am sorry you are experiencing this. I believe, and of course this is personal opinion, that in order to eliminate feeling of imposter we need to work on acceptant and owning our identity. I really that is easier said than done, especially how hateful world often is.

[@shannonstrobel6727]

@@DRZPHD working on it. Thank you, Doctor :)

[@lyravale1148]

I'm a trans woman (she/her), and I'm 5mo into HRT. For me, I'm feeling it right now because I like to dress up as a girl. Due to my situation, I can't always do that, even at home, so it feels like I'm a part time girl sometimes. Thank you so much for this video. It really means a lot to hear this is normal.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@jamiehetfield4270]

I am binge watching your videos they are very professional and good i also feel like the male in me is the imposter thank you for the video

[@DRZPHD]

Glad the content is helpful.

[@elisasmyth1584]

Another really informative video Dr Z. Sometimes, I do get this feeling that despite me knowing I am in fact Trans, I am merely going through the motions of being a woman. Just how common is that feeling amongst Trans people?.

[@DRZPHD]

Imposter feelings are very common among people in general as well as trans people.

[@elisasmyth1584]

@@DRZPHD Thank you for your answer Dr Z. X

[@williamivel188]

I dont feel comfortable using the term transgender when I talk about my identity because I'm not binary in identity even though I seek to have a transfeminine transition and surgery. I feel like because I know I am not a woman, transgender people will tell me I am fake and not part of their community. Not very realistic, but it is what I feel

[@DRZPHD]

I totally hear you. Your identity is valid. Just because others have their own rigid boxes doesn't mean you don't exist.

[@williamivel188]

@@DRZPHD Thank you for doing what you do😊 It means the most to me 💖💖

[@laurav179]

As a mtf transgender pre-hrt, what I am missing in this video and maybe you can address this specifically in the next video as I struggle with self accepting and the internal feelings that I am not feeling woman enough on the inside and doubting I am transgender mtf and not faking it or use it as and escape mechanism. So to be clear, it is not from a society point of view because I a am respected, but it is only internally not feeling feminine (enough). With every small step I take towards femininity I feel an euphoric feeling of being a woman but this fades away so quickly and unable to hold this feeling very long and I have to find new things in order to feel feminine again. How do I keep the ability to feel feminine that I love so greatly and elong for, for longer periods of time or does it require hormones....or even surgery. I am struggling with this.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I will add to video topics.

[@j.j.l.]

When I was earning my PhD, an author on imposter syndrome came to speak on campus. The turnout of graduate students was so great that it resulted in standing room only, which proves your point that it's very common. Of course imposter syndrome also infiltrated my transition as I have often asked myself whether I'm "man enough" as a trans male. Thanks for reminding me that it was there long before my transition, but more importantly, how to deal with it.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and yes, so many of us have it.

[@bernardosouza2638]

I'm sorry doc, I know my comment doesn't have anything to do with the video, but you are such a beautiful woman. I always find your content very interesting and I really like your glasses

[@DRZPHD]

No need to apologize! Thank you for the compliment!

[@j.j.l.]

I would have to 100% agree.

[@jonhykes5562]

I had imposter syndrome as my assigned gender. I feel real now.

[@LivingMyLife1991]

I do feel like an imposter and doubt about being transgender at all, but at the same time, there are so many signs that convince me in otherwise that I am trans. I think that maybe I haven't accepted it all just yet. The doubts have been giving me hard time. I'm happy with my chosen name, male pronouns and doing other things that ease my dysphoria and make me feel more comfortable in my body. It just makes sence to me and feels correct, but the doubts and feeling like an imposter is still present. I'm also not out of closet to my family.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

[@leeh.4453]

Just learning that it is a common feeling helps a lot. It makes the difference between feeling like it's all a big mistake vs. feeling like being in the middle of the herd during transition. That is the difference between, "Keep going," v. "Stopping."

[@DRZPHD]

So true!

[@DEdPoolio]

Somebody, make an among us joke so I don't have to

[@MyLadyPanda]

I just feel like I'm lying when I go "Yes, I'm trans." because I guess I don't feel trans enough. I don't experience dysphoria as badly as a lot of people do. I kinda feel like I'm making it up for attention. Which I don't think I am. But I think that's just how mine manifests..it tells me I'm a liar and I need to stop because I'm not really a guy, I just want to be special.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@marciefree]

Totally part of the ride. I find myself having to be what my persona dictates in front of the public most of the time.

[@DRZPHD]

Yes, we all have many masks. The key is to take it off and not to collude with it.

[@LuanMerlin]

I have literally 0% passing as the opposite gender, even when I try to overplay my masculinity. Seeing other trans masculine people who have nearly perfect passing even when they are not on hormones (yet) always makes me feel like I am making it all up. Also, I experience my gender as pretty fluid and on the days I lean more towards woman/female it sometimes feels like the dysphoria I experience on other days is just a lie and I cannot be trans when there are days on which I can leave the house without binding my chest.

[@LL_-wf1tw]

You could be gender fluid like myself. That is why the identification is changing. I have disphoria 'both ways'. When I'm a man 'inside' I don't feel manly enough, I don't like my chest that have mini boobs and my body which isn't muscular enough. When i'm a woman 'inside' I don't like facial hair, jaw line, voice. I prefer to be a woman as i'm much calmer but I won't be transitioning becouse it would kill me when the men identity come up. I just consider removing hair with laser on certain part of my body, grow long hair (i'm physically male), get much thinner with almost no fat. Like effeminated androgyne on an elf style. I always hated my body as male but not becouse it wasn't female but becouse it was ugly. Anyway. If you identify as gender fluid I'd consider stóp transitioning somewhere in the middle. A pointy acceptable by 'both' of your identities.

[@domenicoscarlatti6890]

I had very bad dysphoria when I was a child, I literally used to identify as a male since I was 4 (I'm 17 btw) I think I might be trans but I am not sure because my feelings changed Sometimes I feel like my feelings are fake an I am just bringing back childhood trauma I don't care if I am perceived as a girl, I might be more comfortable being perceived as a boy

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and please note my channel is marked for adults only.

[@bradleyvanderwesthuizen4271]

Thank you for your video! I identify strongly. Thank you once again for all your very informative help!!

[@DRZPHD]

Happy to help!

[@sir.maccc-]

@2:25 you said “part of you thinks someone is going to see you as fraud” is it possible to feel like at any time you may be that person even if you’re 100% about it? You’re afraid you are “faking it” and you’re gonna be the one exposing that?

[@DRZPHD]

Hi. Yes it’s possible that you are afraid to “expose” yourself if you haven’t fully accepted your identity.

[@Ewoorg]

Well again video that is so spot on.

[@DRZPHD]

So glad!

[@awkwardsauceproductions5996]

Honestly, I had a moment of imposter syndrome today because I was just thinking about how I'm non-binary but don't really mind female pronouns and that made me think "What if I'm not really trans?!" It's so frustrating whenever it happens because I know deep down who I am, that I have dysphoria, and hate living in a female body but even still my mind feels the need to question me and drag me under the bus. It's infuriating!

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and I am so sorry. Mind can be powerful and the more time we spend intellectualizing the more we fall prey to it.

[@awkwardsauceproductions5996]

@@DRZPHD The worst part is my brain doubting my dysphoria. Are there any good ways to disrupt the cycle before it becomes too stressful?

[@awkwardsauceproductions5996]

@@Amralux Fewf, glad I'm not completely alone though I'm sorry you have to deal with it too.

[@Otaku_Nerds]

I often feel like this, this is really helpful to hear! Thank you for the this ❤️☺️

[@DRZPHD]

Glad it was helpful!

[@behindzerosp]

I often feel like impostor or fake because for exaple I am not actually flat I use binder so I actually tend to hunch a lot but at the same time at home in front of the mirror I sit hyper stright to the point I see chest thru the binder to not feel fake even tho I don`t like it . I also feel like I can`t go back to be cis because I know that something else exist but I sometimes want more femme presentation ,hair or just feel femme and want to talk about woman relate topics and it makes me doubt . When I feel really bad I am teriffied that someone will prove to me that heath /medical condidtion made me feel not cis or that I am just cis and can`t change anything forevver [ i think it feels esier to procrastinate change because you still think it can happen but the idea it to be restricted forever makes me want it more]

[@DRZPHD]

Its often best to listen to your body and your experiences given there are so many people who will feel they have answers for you when in fact, you are the one with the answers.

[@lucidghostgirl686]

I'm actually starting to feel this now, or perhaps wasn't aware of it. UK has moved rights backwards for trans people during covid. I now have become agoraphobic, if I go out I wear a mask even in very quite streets. When I have that mask on I never get a second look. It's been so long that I'm afraid of showing my face again. I don't know why. When I first went out in 2015 it was total euphoria, even though I was called sir. I had a lot of abuse I. Those days but it didn't bother me too much, though it did upset me. Then I started to pass, as in no abuse, or second look. It was very occasional. Now I've been inside for two years I'm totally afraid again. I'm still waiting for surgery. I'm now 55 and although I'm totally content being a very feminine woman ( don't know why so femme, I just am and wouldn't dream of ever going back). I am scared of everyone and very upset when misgenderd. There also appear to be more CIS women full of hate. It wasn't like this before, cis women made me feel safe. I'm not sure how I'm going to get my confidence back. I'm fine with friends who respect me and that is the only time I feel fab. Avoiding going out is not good for my physical and mental health. Also I cry wishing why wasn't I born a congruent female...I can't put into words how much this hurts. I get dysphoria just watching a film or being around cis women. I've know I was female all if my life, before and after puberty. I don't understand the downward depressive spiral. I think it could be this. I find I have huge dysphoria, I'm happy with my body shape, but my face and down below appear ro be the cruelest things in my life. I think covid may have affected other people in long lockdown countries. I was totally fine before c19. Now I'm in a bad way .

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry to hear. Sadly COVID has increases isolation for many people. I wish you all the best.

[@lucidghostgirl686]

@@DRZPHD yes I think its probably had a negative for most older people. Thank ypu for replying

[@ryptoll4801]

I'm detrans, although I don't regret my medical transition. So I'm not actually trans, but since I used to think I was, someone here may be able to relate to how I felt. When I thought of myself as a trans man in the past, I felt like an imposter all the time. But it wasn't like I feared that people would think I'm not man enough, it was more like I knew I wasn't a man myself, and I felt like a fraud. I kinda always knew, ever since before transitioning. That deep down I just wanted to be a man. It was a strong desire based on my dysphoria, but it wasn't like I thought I was actually a man, somehow, somewhere on the inside. I'm sorry, but I don't really understand that, although I get that's how it is for some people. I mean, I knew I was biologically female, which meant I was a woman, technically, even though I didn't like being a woman and that's why I transitioned. But it didn't make me a man. Meaning, transitioning didn't make me biologically male, it just makes people think I am. Thus, it is a type of deception, isn't it? Because gender identity aside (which is subjective, thus cannot be disputed) I am making people think I'm the opposite sex to what I actually am. Which is obscuring/hiding some kinda truth. For me, my imposter syndrome was because I knew I'm female, and I felt like if/when people found out I'm trans, they would understand that I'm actually a female who looks like a male, i.e. a woman who looks like a man. Not that it's a bad thing though! I wanna be very clear about that. I toss around a lot of words here, but I honestly don't intend to offend anyone. Biological sex just matters a lot to most of the cis world, and I think that might cause a lot of trans (and detrans) people to feel like imposters, even though they know their genders are true. Point is I think it comes down to the difference between sex and gender, and which one matters most to whom. Even to this day I choose to obscure my sex, because I genuinely like the way I made myself look with transition. I am proud of my creation. I no longer feel like an imposter in regards to my gender, but it didn't stop until I stopped calling myself a man altogether. I love looking like a man and living in the male social role. I just cannot with any authenticity call myself anything else than a woman, simply because that is what I perceive myself to be.

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I agree, it does matter whether sex or gender is most important aspect to a person. Often confused and colluded. To those for whom sex is essential, dysphoria often follow post transition due to biological aspect of things. I am sorry to hear that was the case for you and I totally understand what you are saying.

[@katiedrew9322]

I’m 4 months into my transition, and when I’m getting up in the morning or going to bed, I see that “guy” I used to be, and it makes it really hard. Or I’ll be out and a gay man will hit on me because, even though I am a woman and I’m not into men, he doesn’t get it because “you still make a really hot guy” because I’m 6’ tall and shaped like a classic superhero. I met a woman on New Years and we really hit it off, but later into the night she says “I could really be into you, but only if you can be a guy. Cause I can tell I’m really attracted to you that way.” It’s a constant reminder that is giving me the imposter syndrome, the reminder that I’m not seen as a woman by so many people. And at night, when I’m dressed down to just what’s underneath and everything I use to bear with who I am while I transition is off, that’s what I see too: a man. And it really kinda sucks lol

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry to hear.

[@katiedrew9322]

@@DRZPHD thank you for taking the time to respond! Just being heard is often enough to help :)

[@starspinpal1]

Dr Z.....great topic that opens many other. So it is always great when someone affirms your identity, even when you know they see that person in birth gender. What are some conscious yet subtle ways to attempt to overcome those thoughts? Love your posts! Teri

[@DRZPHD]

I think acceptance and working on confidence helps a lot. Also, empowering yourself by charting your own life without outside noise helps but challenging to do as we are creatures of social approval.

[@danib2944]

Hi Dr Z, thanks for another interesting and relevant topic, and for sharing your amazing insight. I wonder what you think is the impact of Imposter Syndrome (IS) prior to transition. Is there a tie between dysphoria and IS? I have not yet transitioned and have always felt a level of disassociation from my life accomplishments. Almost like an actor that performs a role and knows internally that the character isn’t really who they are. Do you think that’s related to dysphoria, or is it the same type of “normal” IS acknowledged by Maya Angelou? What do you think happens to the level of IS to someone that suffers from it pre-transition to post-transition? Such a great topic to explore. Thank you for your awesome content!

[@DRZPHD]

Hi Dani and thank you for bringing up excellent questions. What you speak about is what I call reverse imposter syndrome. Meaning, you feel as imposter in the assigned gender you were given at birth and therefore all life accomplishments feel remote and distant. This is different than IS, as it is more of a detached state often similar to dissociation. I will do a video on this :)

[@---vp3hg]

@@DRZPHD I'll be waiting for that video, it really described everything that has happened to me for years. Really really thank you very much..

[@kandigallagher1892]

Thank you this is quite helpful

[@tomjessee]

I always feel that way when I present as a transgender female in public.. kind of feels like I'm an undercover cop in a bad disguise that's how I always explain it. It feels like any moment someone will claim I'm just pretending to be a woman.. I have anxiety already from childhood trauma and it doesn't help. I didn't know this was an actual condition thank you :) I thought it was just me..

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing.

[@tomjessee]

Anytime :)

[@quinndonnelly1888]

Love the videos love your outfits

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you!

[@PinkPulpito]

Its the journey not the destination maybe.

[@DRZPHD]

Yes I agree with that.

[@waldii964]

When the imposter is sus *dun dun dun dun dun dun dun, dundundun Bam bam*

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@basicaccount3871]

God amogus has destroyed our reality

[@waldii964]

@@basicaccount3871 yeah, humanity was a mistake

[@matiaannaplese8267]

Thank you for this amazing video! I have a question though: is it possible that IS kicks in only after a successful transition? My story: six years into my transition, never doubted myself throughout that period, accepted by family and peers, but with a history of traumatic romantic experiences with men. Six months ago finally entered a romantic relationship with an amazing guy, a thing I wanted more than any other. Despite everything being fine, it started. Panic attacks, anxiety, depression. Rabbit hole of doubting my sanity and validity of my life choices. "How come that, after I achieved everything I wanted, I feel so shitty? Maybe Ben Shapiro is right, maybe I'm just a crazy and delusional man." It has evolved to the point where I feel like a fraud, an imitation of a woman, afraid of meeting new people, socially isolating, compulsively googling what's wrong with me and considering detransitioning (although I love my feminine appearance) because I believe I'll never be a woman, yet horrified to death at the prospect of it because it just doesn't seem right. Anyone with a similar story or a piece of advice? I'm doing therapy btw.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and yes, it is incredibly common especially for women who are going stealth. The issue can come up strongly when you are getting emotionally attached to another person (often if you have not disclosed you are trans, something that I believe is up to you to decided to do or not). It is also common for people who disclose on first date they are transgender and when they person displays lack of interest, that can spiral into self doubt, fear, anxiety, and bring up imposter feelings. Because what happens is this: "Ok so I transitioned and I feel confident and beautiful and comfortable with myself and have accepted who I am. Ohh wait why are you rejecting me? Am I not woman enough?" Hope this helps. I do plan to do a video on disclosure, going stealth, dating, etc. Glad you are getting support. Most of what you experience is in your head so its important to remember that our thoughts can spin up blockbusters which are not real.

[@matiaannaplese8267]

@@DRZPHD omg thank you so much for your reply! This is exactly what happened and how my depressive and anxious symptoms started years ago. Living completely stealth, 100% passable, yet being rejected on dates for "not being a woman" and objectified by fetishists. Now that I finally have everything that I wanted, intrusive thoughts and extreme self-doubt popped up. I cannot lie that I also don't share some guilt, as I spent days and weeks on gender critical and detransition forums to "challenge" myself. I still have days of clarity though where I recognize it's all crazy blockbusters spinning in my head, like you said. Hope to get back on the right track with therapy ☺️

[@ezraconstante7841]

Right here with u but as trans masc person. I love the way I look and feel comfortable but sometimes I feel so scared by my decisions

[@matiaannaplese8267]

@@ezraconstante7841 update after 3 years. Those doubts lasted for 5 months and it turned out I had severe OCD. I went to therapy, healed and I've been perfectly fine for two years now :)

[@brucedonnelly5209]

super helpful : )

[@Theabundantriley]

Here’s a phrase you reminded me… Don’t try to fit a square pegs into a hole ! You know those babe shape sorters toyss … We are unique in our own ways, our own shape, we just have to find them in our lives !

[@eliza4430]

Would you consider doing a video on rapid onset gender dysphoria? I'm curious if I have something like that. (If it's even real? I know there's a lot of controversy about it, so I'm curious if it's even a viable label)

[@eliza4430]

@Jessie Grabow That's interesting. Thank you for sharing your experience :)

[@DRZPHD]

This is a controversial topic as many clinicians do not agree with Lisa Littman finings of rapid onset GD. Hard to comment as the term refers to teens and youngster and I only work with adults. IN my experience, people fall into two groups as adults, 1) those who had a feeling early on, either early childhood or early adulthood and those 2) who had a sudden awakening of surge of feelings.

[@lifewithadaemon6089]

I have/had 3 or 4 moments of Impostor syndrome.. one was when i first started to transition, buying clothes, make up, lingerie ect. the second time is when I was hormones, I started showing physical characteristics to the point of no longer belonging in a male changeroom. The third time, is when I first had a guy hit on me, I was and still am post op, that scared me. The fourth time.. is right now, with the huge amount of current news, big named authors, actors, saying trans women do not belong in women's spaces, I feel like people would be looking out for it more now, and that more of the general populous are starting to believe this.. lie.. that trans women somehow pose a threat to natal women, when in fact with that belief it's almost the other way around.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing and breaking it down.

[@lifewithadaemon6089]

No problem, thank you for the video!

[@StephMcAlea]

I dont think its about "earning" it, its more about the classification. Its not 'do i qualify as trans?' and more 'am i really trans?'

[@DRZPHD]

Totally agree.