WHAT MEN WANT - DATING ADVICE

[@julienolke]

I don't do well under pressure...

[@1o1beauty]

God any man would be so lucky to have you... Hit me up

[@edriv3722]

I see....

[@CoachDeb]

uuuuh Ya THINK???!!! BAHAHA Omg did NOT See THAT Coming!!! #FunnyChit

[@rogerchien2329]

I don't pressure

[@neilallender8150]

😂🐉😂

[@neutrino51]

That bed dismount tho

[@julienolke]

lol I should be in the olympics with moves like that

[@maladetts]

@@julienolke So true! That was a stunner out of nowhere.

[@harrymonk70]

@@julienolke they have Olympics for porn??

[@tjbalistic]

I know right? That should be her dating profile pic.

[@robinw77]

@@julienolke during this lockdown I've been thinking for way too long about whether or not I could probably pull that off. Except no, I definitely can't and I'll end up on the floor with a snapped neck. Still, it passes the time I guess.

[@SteveSaylor]

Well that escalated quickly lol.

[@julienolke]

It wasn't my finest hour

[@blackpantherjon9709]

Wow

[@wanderlking8634]

What men want: Not to get shot at when going on a date.

[@ricklawrence7215]

@@julienolke Until you shot him, you still had a chance, let's be honest

[@-theflea-4561]

It jumped up a notch.

[@RidiculousName]

If you don't roll out of bed that way every morning, this channel is a sham.

[@Dakarai_Knight]

Wait doesn't everyone?

[@siafhir]

@@Dakarai_Knight I kind of slide off, hit the floor ass first, and bump my head on the nightstand.

[@jonathanfarley2023]

Is that Tom from Myspace?

[@jondunmore4268]

Just freeze on 0:54. You're welcome.

[@shay5555]

"I think you read too far" You come up with the best jokes

[@julienolke]

it's true tho, Cosmo has the worst weirdest advice...

[@eat_pray_porg8450]

@@julienolke - They contradict themselves all the time, too! (Hate to say it, lots of those magazines do it as well!)

[@jeffryphillipsburns]

“Jokes”?

[@draginator6]

Loved the skit, it'd be entertaining to do this same video again but from the guys perspective with his inner monologue.

[@julienolke]

such a good idea!

[@JordyTravels]

@@julienolke And a 3rd one with your BFF Jill who's sitting unrecognizable in the restaurant and sees all this going on... and a swishtusion at the end where it all makes sense... Love your vids. Hope you get a breakthrough. Greets from Netherlands! 🙋‍♂️

[@benvoliothefirst]

I mean, it'd just be "Cute. Beer. Dead?"

[@tirsden]

@John Duke "Aww man... AGAIN!?"

[@zakesters]

​@@benvoliothefirst Honestly that's what I was thinking. In fact, right before she shot him, I was thinking, "You know, this would be a pretty strong gambit for a first date. It makes her look so vulnerable: what male ego could resist adopting an attitude like, "Hey, take it easy, I'm actually having a lot of fun," because after all, we _must_ be hitting it off if I'm having this kind of effect on her? She'd have him right where she wanted him." But then she shot him. And honestly, that's cool too. I'm all for chicks wasting hapless dudes...uh, in--in media, I mean.

[@danzigvssartre]

Well...at least she remembered to bring a gun to the date.

[@Talia.777]

😆😆😆

[@cchanc3]

spoiler alert!

[@nathanbanks2354]

Because everyone reads all the comments before they watch the video...

[@quincycroft3323]

Merica.

[@starwarfan8342]

@@quincycroft3323 DAMN RIGHT

[@washurhands5079]

Is it bad that I burst out laughing when you shot him. It game out of nowhere 😂😂

[@julienolke]

nope!! That's my favourite part of the video

[@Adam_Bosscoe]

Those last 2 pops while leaning forward sent me into a laughing frenzy 😂 love you Julie

[@siniquezu]

Spoilers

[@onerva0001]

I did not see that coming! Lol

[@michaelhaupt53]

@@julienolke shooting is not funny

[@sammerlammer3808]

"Do you have a sister?... Uh, nope, nah" 😂😂

[@julienolke]

things could have gotten kinky..

[@israel963]

@@julienolke Looking at this now, YOU FREAKING SET UP THAT LINE FOR THIS JOKE?! WHAT KIND OF HORNY NUTCASE ARE YOU?! (Also, I have a sister btw)

[@GodotWorld]

I've got some dating tips for women. Don't spend a lot of time *thinking* about what you think "men" want. Be yourself. Talk about your interest and listen to his. If a man isn't going to like you for who you just are, or you don't like him for who he just is, then you aren't made for each other. Don't waste a ton of time trying to figure out what he wants you to be and then spend mountains of effort pretending, because eventually the real you is going to come out. Find out up front and move on quickly, not 10 years into a marriage after you have kids. Please don't shoot people...

[@RealRomplayer]

Meh, I'm not so sure about the last part. Some men are really into getting shot.

[@milascave2]

Those same rules work for men, too.

[@GodotWorld]

@@milascave2 I know, that's the beauty of them :)

[@michellepaul8514]

Patrick Upson Good advise...expect for saying not to shoot people. I always shoot my dates. 🤣

[@ckeilah]

The couple that shoots together stays together!

[@skyeparker6128]

Okay, that took a turn.

[@noodlearg9745]

Hey remember this comment made two years ago

[@skyeparker6128]

@@noodlearg9745 nope

[@noodlearg9745]

@@skyeparker6128 ok

[@andrewparkhurst]

I just found this comic today from some of her corona virus sketches which were fantastic. But this one was really interesting and good... and then the last 5 seconds seriously made me cry laughing. I rewatched it 2 times and cried laughing some more. Gosh I really needed that. She’s obviously very talented and skilled as a writer and performer. She is combining them in a unique way and she seems to be one of the best I’ve seen. All the best to you Julie!

[@rossadams8934]

Julie's Canadian accent only comes out when she says sorry and that is kind of hilarious to me.

[@captainahab5522]

69th like

[@dianapevtsov]

@Pierre DuPont "And then one day, you say 'out,' 'about,' 'house,' and 'sorry' all in the same sentence, and the game is up. They know you're Canadian." -Scott Thompson

[@RaiofLight]

Next episode of How To Get Away With Murder: How to get rid of the body when your Valentine's Day turns into a massacre. :P

[@julienolke]

brilliant. Step one: always pack a tarp and some zipties on a first date

[@CWPTraining]

@@julienolke Is it odd that I just went to Wal-Mart and purchased a shovel, tarp, gloves, bleach, duct tape, zip ties, and hunting knife ?? ( I'm thinkin' that should be combined together and sold on Amazon as a First Date Kit - 'cause obviously there would be no Second ) Did I just type all that out loud

[@jonbongjovi1869]

@@julienolke I think most men would VOLUNTEER to be shot to death by a hot chick. I had to invent "Murder Parties".....for all the sad ppl who don't have the strength to commit suicide.......so everyone gets super-drunk and stabs each other to death! WHEEEE!!

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

@@CWPTraining... are you the Amazon Review Killer?

[@deadpoolregeneratedegenera1683]

Well, respect to Carson, who gave his life for this video. Way to put your heart and soul into something! 👍🏻

[@kouroshmarx8646]

I don't know how she does this but she and her co-actors are always great in playing awkward situations.

[@iFreshCrispy]

ugh, JULIE!! This is not right, your videos have such high production value and you make it look so easy with all these different shots making it all feel natural along with the conversation YOU HAVE A NEW SUBSCRIBER AND I WILL SPREAD THE GOOD WORD OF JULIE!

[@123Dunebuggy]

Dont shoot someone on a date, atleast not on a 1st date.

[@-Dal]

Unless they (or you) have already mentioned marriage....

[@gavriel2005]

It's best to not kill your date before the last date, the exact number doesn't really matter 😂.

[@jeremy__3909]

Still better than most of my dates. Lol so clever. Well done!!

[@julienolke]

REALLY?! That's not good my friend. Do you get shot every time?

[@jeremy__3909]

Every single time! I guess that's what happens when you try to pick up women at a gun range. Lol

[@jeremy__3909]

Welp, time for my motivational snapchat of the day. Thanks for starting my day with laughter!!

[@logdog6762]

Julie, this is why men dont call you back.

[@katharinasekot7101]

Do you get outta bed like this all the time? lol

[@RamblinRick_]

0:53 Love the back-roll dismount off the bed. Worthy of a gold-medal gymnast.

[@JoeJ-8282]

I seriously don't know why you're not already a worldwide phenomenon, true professional comedian!... You deserve your own TV show!

[@BobStein]

The options for a graceful conclusion were really getting limited there.

[@MrYusu-jg2if]

From 0 to Tarantino real quick.. 😂

[@tudormuntean3299]

My god soooo true

[@Timo4eus]

"Empty hollow cavern where loneliness echoes of the walls." Needed to write that down.

[@anthonygruver3932]

She just pulls out a goddamn Desert Eagle

[@MamaReubosKitchen]

LMFAO! I thought that date was going quite well and then PLOT TWIST!! I'm crying!! ^_^

[@julienolke]

I don't do well under pressure

[@MamaReubosKitchen]

Clearly. LMAO!

[@Gomace]

As a man, I am qualified to say exactly the one sentence that will make every woman understand exactly why a guy likes them or doesn't:

[@milascave2]

This is true for guys, too. Too much advice will mostly just confuse you.

[@onetimehero268]

I like to think this is how her and sam met since she still hasn’t told us! 😑

[@ohnusbohnus5834]

Was having to look away from the cringe, and then I just hear GUNSHOTS

[@ImtheRNDirtyDan]

Great video! Loved your perception and take of the split personality. Looking forward to the next video!

[@markbuchanan9639]

Julie... That was truly impressive!!! I did not expect the gun and was completely surprised. You are now ready for prime time and I expect to see you on SNL next week.

[@daltonurda6955]

I loved this video! It was beautifully shot, and hilarious! I was happily surprised with such an early post today! Cant wait for next week!

[@julienolke]

thanks so much for watching. Glad you liked it!

[@KarlKristofferJohnsson]

"Beautifully shot". Was that pun intentional?

[@LuckyBraxton]

You're so freaking awkward!!! That escalted so fast, I almost spit my drink when you pulled the gun out!!😂😂 -Lucky

[@Boccaccio-ii1fl]

I've seen it long time before, but I'm glad I found it again, it's one of the best sketches, so well played and soooo funny !

[@SpiritualStuntman]

I dated a version of you once, still miss her

[@robinbernardinis]

I hope she missed you too. You know, with the Desert Eagle.

[@me43135]

So... Are you in heaven right now?

[@MrKeychange]

How long did it take to recover from the bullet wounds?

[@charlieross-BRM]

First meeting for coffee, the woman sees me outside, taps on the window because she has a table by the door. In under 2 minutes, she's handing me 2 sheets of paper stapled together. It's a CV going back to her period in college. We're both in our fifties. Is that some dating tip offered in Cosmo'?

[@orangebpumpkin5676]

Nope shes just crazy. I hope the coffee was good at least.

[@sandram2974]

Holy shit! That ending was hilarious. I did not see that coming. Love all the videos. You’re truly unique and talented!

[@ltlbuddha]

Oh gods, I lost it when he didn't move through the outro.

[@JohnW-yv6yp]

Nice to know that girls also go through this anxiety. Girls like playing hard to get but also don’t want someone too pushy cause that’s creepy. Be assertive but respect her boundaries. Be a gentleman like a guy from the 60s but respect 2020 feminism. Now I need to worry about making sure a date doesn’t shoot me with a Desert Eagle, thanks a lot Julie.

[@chemquests]

Hilarious social commentary...men aren’t that complicated

[@johnross5757]

Dear God you are talented. Do you write your own stuff? I'm literally just discovering you, so I don't know, but it's definitely time to move on from KZbin to your own show!

[@bobmitchell4532]

Absolutely! Couldn't agree more! 😁 In fact I'm checking imdb right now to see if you've already been on the Big Screen or somewhere other than YT. ROCK ON GIRL! P. S. Will you marry me, please? 💍 💍 ♥ 💍 😍

[@bobmitchell4532]

Yep! Check out her listing on imdb I'm glad to see she's got a listing. She is so 🔥 what a find! Always nice to find someone with such talent. Gunna🔫 keep my eyes 👀on you girl! 😍 😂

[@gregoronkh4066]

I dont know if its wise to mention marriage around her. Have heared chances are you´ll get shot:p

[@beckmania1066]

Mr. Bob Mitchell, that is too many emojis, sir.

[@IceNixie0102]

When you forget Julie is Canadian till she says "Sorry".

[@JamesCPotter13]

I may have said this before but Julie with Red Hair is DOING THINGS to me!

[@figuredrawing4912]

He had it coming for saying "excuse me" so many times... lol

[@-Dal]

What he needed to have said, at some point (prior to being shot) was simply "Stop"... with a soft tone and a smile.

[@figuredrawing4912]

@@-Dal Hah. Yeah.

[@hajhirmoshfegh9162]

Omg I died at the end! 😂 You're killing it Julie!

[@marcochimio]

I'm a guy, and this would STILL be MUCH better than most first dates I've had. Up until the murder, that is.

[@johnwalker1058]

Especially with the surprise ending, this one might be one of my favorite Julie Nolke videos of all time, even counting the series where Future Julie goes back to visit past Julies to use time travel to get herself through the Covid Pandemic.

[@Chahlie]

Definitely my favourite. I fully expect this will be post pandemic dating.....

[@DexM47]

I was gonna write "I'd still date her", then I reached 4:24 😂😂

[@brucetucker4847]

I'd definitely date a gal who whipped out a Desert Eagle at dinner! At least, in the 0.8 seconds between then and when she shot me, I'd definitely date her. Hell, that's longer than most of my relationships have lasted.

[@StalewindFarto]

Loved how she pulled it out of the fire, right when all hope seemed lost. Happy endings are so rare.

[@Stilez]

LMFAO!! The ending had me in tears

[@juanrivera5084]

Ok wow. I did not expect that ending. The panicked screaming aaaah aaaah aaah and then the shooting. Brilliant.

[@louissivo9660]

Well, that went well. Lol. Poor guy, talk about "she shot me down." Sorry, couldn't resist that. ;-)

[@mickeyodunikan1712]

I'm howling😂😂😂 that plot twist was hilarious. Sometime you gotta get rid of the witness🤫

[@Mixima101]

I've had this same problem from a male perspective. I always struggle between being super honest with her and just talking, but saying something she wouldn't like, or saying/not saying things to get her to like me.

[@sumayyasyed4350]

Sooo... do you end up shooting your date?

[@shinobix4925]

Honestly, I can respect that method to getting out of an awkward situation

[@davidmcleod5133]

Women to women friends: “I just want a guy who doesn’t play games.” Men to male friends: “I just want a girl that doesn’t play games.” ... ... Every first date ever: Dungeons & Dragons game from Hell.

[@RatPfink66]

My personal prejudice: we live in a capitalist society, so most women (especially) want relationships to be like jobs. (most men just assume they are...stay competitive with imaginary rivals, learn to take no for an answer, put in a lot of face time, etc.)

[@danieldougan269]

Julie, you're drop-dead gorgeous, hilarious, and otherwise multi-talented. You have a lot to offer, just believe in and be yourself. And if a guy doesn't like you for who you genuinely are (not that I know what that is because I have only seen you on KZbin), it's his loss.

[@thatonedog819]

Who was filming me on my last date?

[@ferdytacomaboy3628]

I really like the way you reply to people's comments; it means a lot to people.

[@samarthsingh6210]

I was on a date like this once. I thought it was my fault.

[@Tiptoemicrobe73]

Change the specifics ever so slightly (and remove the shooting) and this is identical to what goes on in my head too.

[@dddvision]

I feel like the ending is a kind of advice for men... you know, to run away sooner.

[@Roxi4peace]

4:00 and on is just pure gold. dear god

[@laureen83]

You know what they want? Shoulders! Schools knew it all along. Maybe you've never been distracted or have distracted someone with bare shoulders. This isn't because shoulders aren't really what men want, it is because schools have made sure that they're tucked away so you never have to be distracted or distract someone with shoulders

[@weareharbinger914]

The head voices were a really nice touch.

[@seansullivan4341]

Oh, I'm so glad I don't have to date anymore. My parents had the best advice: Find your best friend then marry them. That has worked out really well, and the key has always been just be yourself. They'll eventually have to deal with the real you if you want a relationship, so there's no point wasting time trying to be someone else to appease or entice them. ; )

[@geganerd3]

Oh my god this is the best thing ever to come to KZbin thank you!

[@tetedepoulet8651]

9.6 for the bed dismount 0:54

[@dungeonfrek]

I'd give it a 6:9!

[@OLBastholm]

@@dungeonfrek Nice

[@Dusios]

I wish someone, anyone, had told me when I was young that this experience was universal rather than just something I was going through.

[@ValenNitto]

Yup I'm just binging these now

[@dmc8706]

It's nice to know that dates can be nerve wracking for both genders

[@karenwoolley4279]

Meep, haven't been on a date in years, but now I just want to stay home and rock.

[@SirGenWilliamThomaz]

That is an interesting concealed carry you've chosen to use! I like big calibers too.

[@5gonza541]

4:25 Jesus Christ, I did not see this coming LOL

[@tonyromano6220]

Ikr? Comments are a spoiler however.

[@michaelc7723]

Thanks! A wonderful video! I didn't really need another reason not to date, but this is pretty persuasive. I thoroughly enjoy your videos. Let's see- you're in Eastern Canada. I'm in SW US, thousands of miles away. Good. Maybe I'll see one of your shows, once the pandemic is over. Body armor is cheap, compared to plane fare plus hotel/ticket/restaurant/incidentals. Definitely worth the cost, provided you're a good shot and always aim for center mass.

[@Leo-jd4ps]

hahahahah omg soo funny 😂😂😂Best KZbinR EVER!!😂😍😍 HAHAHAHAHAH OMG SEPERATE BILLS 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@raphaeldavid9061]

Asking for separate checks was a nice touch.

[@tipsygypsy711]

You just reminded me that I have ice cream in the freezer. Woop woop

[@foodismed1cine]

I think this is my favorite JN sketch. I relate to the female character so well! It's like watching myself on a date...

[@ThatReadingGuy28]

....but the gun....

[@slambrew3849]

Jesus I forget y’all are Canadian, then I hear “beg” and “whey-gen.”

[@originalSiiiN]

what are you talking aboot?

[@itisdevonly]

@@originalSiiiN bag and wagon, I presume

[@originalSiiiN]

@@itisdevonly yeah, it was... a joke :P

[@oglatnik]

Ahahahahahaha this is soooo true!!!! I’m so glad I’m past that bs. “Be yourself” is enough ...

[@kevinm.8682]

Him: So, you're into firearms...?

[@sterling_max]

OMG still laughing while writing, man that escalated quite a little bit :) :) Love that youtube y showing me this old Julie videos. You rock

[@sterling_max]

and now I'm crying while rewatching :D

[@andrewmacomber1638]

Ok… I’m a guy and that was painful. If I could draw a picture… we(guys) have all those same questions (well not the same) but our own set of unique questions. They become our “teeth” like those on a key. Now on the other hand …women have their own set of unique questions are like tumblers inside a lock. And well you get where I’m going with that? 🔐 it’s complicated!Timing… aligning teeth to tumblers… the perfect twist and Voilà!🔓💗👰🤵👼

[@tonyromano6220]

Da Fck?

[@DreamWizardMedia]

I literally jumped in my seat at the end! Damn, that was good! 😂

[@sofiamarko1910]

That was so funny omg 😂

[@andrewmacomber1638]

OMG! I just couldn’t… stopped halfway thru. We (us guys) are so easy… (not like that). 3 words: relax + have fun. And if I could add: no pressure!?👀✌️

[@aishathmaesha1096]

Hahaha town bicycle 😂😂😂

[@bobmitchell4532]

🚲 🚲 🚲 🚲 🚲🚲 🚲 🚲 🚲 🚲 🚲🚲 😍

[@Ratherrandomreality]

I think that's my favorite one so far

[@videobenny3]

Julie: Shoots four times. Him: "So I still have a chance?!?" Julie: Shoots two more times.

[@man-observing-world]

Wow, I haven’t laughed this hard in so long! How have I not seen this video yet??

[@MaxPowers2.0]

Classic introvert...when social interaction becomes so awkward you'd rather shoot someone 6 times than continue to talk...yeah

[@kevinpeterson7797]

Is that you on the treadmill in the commercial too? Nordic Trac I think, look's like you, anyway the writing in all your videos is great and the acting is first rate. You're going places! 😜

[@mikemerinoff]

Oh, come ooon, this is so unnatural, he doesn’t even have blood on his shirt

[@mikemerinoff]

@@thefernwehtype wait, is that how post-irony works? I'm a boomer and I'm just trying to get familiar with the concept

[@nightflyer3175]

OMG. So funny when you drew and fired. Yup...Skip the wedding go right to the divorce! UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME!!!

[@maladetts]

My god, why is KZbin showing me this amazing beautiful talented funny smart girl only NOW?! And I mean not just 2020, but at the end of the quarantine (well at least, I hope)?!

[@bahnean006]

Right? The algorithm doesn't seem to be in her favour, but since her quarantine video went viral she's been picking up steam, which I think she's highly deserving of. Also, I'm stoked she's a fellow Albertan.

[@maladetts]

@@bahnean006 It did? Which one, the one where she talks to her past/future self? I don't see much steam picked up under all the other videos that I've watched though, this one included. But hopefully, this will all turn around. She does deserve it, no doubt.

[@bahnean006]

@@maladetts Yup, when I subbed after I saw it she was at around 60k subs. She's over 115k now. She gained 60k subs in a month. It's awesome.

[@maladetts]

@@bahnean006 Very happy for her. But those thousands of people are keeping it low somehow - I only see a few commentators here and there who are new to the channel and came here in the recent days like me. KZbin had definitely screwed her though, since she's been on KZbin for several years. And when just in a month's time you get the same amount you got in all the previous years - such unfair absurd can also demotivate and frustrate you. Which I hope will not be the case with this lovely lady.

[@bahnean006]

@@maladetts Completely agree. I think this is kind of her hobby. She definitely has a good source of income from her day job, otherwise her production value wouldn't be this good haha.

[@jasonL287]

Julie with red hair is all I need.