Fiancé's Family Called Me a Gold D*gger, So I Told Them the Truth About My Fiancé's Unemployment...

Fiancé's Family Called Me a Gold D*gger, So I Told Them the Truth About My Fiancé's Unemployment... Now They Want ME To Apologize For “Ruining Dinner”.
#redditrelationship #redditupdate

[@shayanshafiee7987]

Dude was a walking red flag since the very first date... smh

[@wickedashley]

Saw a shirt on Instagram the other day that said “my taste in men is a form of self-harm”. Seems to apply 😭😭

[@naomimm]

Legit

[@ctw195]

No shit, like a Chinese parade.

[@heffa3821]

@@wickedashley LMAO THESE SHIRTS THESE DAYS ARE SO WILD BUT SO TRUE YESSS!!! i LOVE the ones on amazon, I am petty and love it ^^ ONe of my favorites is: " I'm a multitasker, I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time!" lmao!!!

[@lilogonzales6625]

In fact! A man who treats you bad from the beginning without trying to know you, that's a "run flag". I really think he just tried to use her....

[@erickaennis2738]

Fiance is a bum and spoiled brat. 1st date would have been my only date. Op brought this dumpster fire on herself.

[@grt8guy03]

he needed to MAN UP and do right by his lady

[@666venus]

heart eyes are very blinding /:

[@anitaramirez4427]

She was young and naive. It's gross that OP dated someone that much older than her 🤮

[@666venus]

@@anitaramirez4427 exactly,,, whats wrong with women his own age???? ick.

[@morganablackwater2017]

​@@666venus women his age aren't stupid and naive anymore so none wants him... Thats the ultimate truth about old men hitting on young women.

[@JustinDavis90]

During the first 2 minutes: "why is this man-child being referred to as fiance? If I had a first date like this it would be the only one."

[@PapaSwall]

Im sayin like how tf do you marry someone like that. But I can see where he’s coming from, however he’s being somewhat brutal abt it

[@juliawacker]

I can see it, too but he is being rude under the disguise of separating the grain from the straws. Then telling her she should not take his parents words to heart but not defending her if they cross the line? At least she left his lazy ass, better late than never.

[@morganablackwater2017]

I would get up and change the table the moment he started his delusions abot women being after his money. You know start away the dude is worthless and toxic

[@junbun3642]

Chris isn't sad he lost his love. He is sad he lost his suger momma.

[@Badruborg]

The Shymalan Twist: he was the golddigger all along 😂😂😂😂

[@kimcreatesstuff]

Wait, she continued to see him AFTER that train wreck of a first date?! Was she desperate? 😂

[@juliawacker]

This or determined to proof herself worthy.. But very likely desperate.

[@kumikor3392]

She was 20. Of course she would ignore red flags. Couldn't even drink legally.

[@charminglady2011]

​@@kumikor3392thank you for reminding us her age. She it does make things different. I kept thinking how immature she was... yeah the behavior makes sense.

[@personwithaquestion1800]

Also the guy was 9 years older. Feels a bit inappropriate considering she was only 20, not even 25

[@morganablackwater2017]

​@@personwithaquestion1800 men in his age hit a wall with women they age - older women are smarter and more experienced with people... Women his age know hes crap xd

[@ColinsTravels]

Red flags from the get-go. How the OP found anything in him is beside me.

[@333333joshua]

It's probably his looks and her feelings she found. Feelings and hope make the decisions. She wised he would become what she wants him to become eventually to justify her feelings

[@nr1fan4all]

fr fr, if this bum can get a second date after the disastrous first we all can

[@worfsonofmogh1154]

Sometimes you'll meet someone that's a mesmerizing with their douchiness. You are engrossed in same way the macabre or occult attracts people. She wanted to figure him out, find out if there really was more under the surface. She found out there really wasn't.

[@GMWILD87]

She's pathetic willing to be generalized as a possible gold digger on the first date and became a fiance that screams pathetic.

[@zombinosh]

Generational wealth that they didn't earn, yet they questioned everything about the finances and schooling of others? Rotten snobs.

[@nickonicifor5638]

Snob- sine nobis.

[@nekosurvivalist]

Sadly that is normal for those types of rich people.

[@Spacemanct]

If this is true, then it's mostly ops fault. You knew he was a dick on the first date, but you thought this would work out.

[@PsychoMachado]

Especially since he perked up and opened more once he realized she had money. That was all he cared about

[@bluewolf1795]

Love is blind

[@MsAngelsheart]

Yeaaaa. I try not to victim blame… but damn

[@_juju_jojo_]

@@bluewolf1795no it’s not. Let’s stop using that phrase

[@yunisblu3412]

These are the types with the “I can change him” type of mentality. SMH!

[@ThePawerStation]

After the first date and the first encounter with Chris' parents, it's all you need to leave him.

[@angebermerkel9964]

She said, that her boyfriend was a freelancer, so how did he lose his job? In general that sounds to me like an episode of things that never happened

[@iamsatanjr]

Sounds like videogames or movie industry. Many artists there work as freelancers, and are hired on a per-project contract basis, often paid after the fact. Could be that, or some entertainment-adjacent industry like movies/TV shows. If that's the case - no surprises there. I know a bunch of guys who work as freelance artists, and the majority of work they do is for a singe client company, who always have new work ready - until they don't anymore. So it could be the case with this guy, he'd do some contract stuff as a freelancer until the company hit some struggles and decided they wouldn't resign him for more projects. I used to work like that for a while, and that was exactly the reason why I switched to a full-time job as soon as I got the chance - relying on a big client is only good while they stick around, the moment they don't you're stuck without any income.

[@leazimridaniels8552]

Yo, she explained it

[@morganablackwater2017]

I mean shes dumb enough to keep seeing this dude after first date... I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't knew how freelancing works and just put it wrong. Freelancer if bad at the job will eventually lost contracts and its equal with losing a job... Even worst. Also freelancers may be lucky and work for longer periods with one contractor so who knows...

[@GARBO96]

@@leazimridaniels8552 she explained it in a very shitty way if you're a freelancer you can't get fired from a company because you don't work for a company you're a freelancer. She clearly said he was fired so the story doesn't add up

[@Iblamethebarrels]

Why did you even date him? He's 9 years older, and I don't think it's because he likes younger women, I think it's because women his age see through his BS.

[@palamedes4740]

She heard all that on the first date and thought "YUP that's boyfriend material! What could possibly go wrong?"

[@morganablackwater2017]

I can't get over this... Like WHAT

[@brianarnold8666]

Ngl that's on you for giving this walking red flag a 2nd date

[@JimBeamFiend53]

Wow, OP should really put someone else in charge of her dating life! This man had more red flags than a communist parade and she let it go this far? Damn!

[@Rj-ij6ko]

Ya i gotta be honest, why Op even continued THE FIRST DATE is beyond me. Like Op legitimately didn’t mention a single positive thing about this guy (besides his cousin lol) in her entire post.

[@TheOMGRamen]

It's pretty obvious. Age. She was 20 years old and he was almost a decade older. She clearly was naive and he is just gross.

[@lyra6695]

Girl if a man saying that on the very first date, i’ll excuse myself and run as fast as i can

[@imitationporcelain]

Same I will take my coffee and cake and leave 😅 sounds like a broke bum that cant afford to date and inmediatly screams gold digger when he cant afford to go out .

[@christian9411]

The red flags run through the whole family

[@gummiesunny]

biggest red flag to me is that a 29 y/o would be getting with a 20 y/o in college....ew

[@RockyAliTyson1]

That's not a red flag.

[@roreo1612]

@@RockyAliTyson1 it is

[@ayceinquisitor190]

​@@RockyAliTyson1if it was a 30 and 39 yo couple, that's ok. A 20 yr old who is still developing and an almost 30 man.... yes, it's a red flag

[@manwhas]

@@RockyAliTyson1 sounds like a pedo

[@Sa_mageste_le_roi]

​@@RockyAliTyson1 A 20 yo broke college student is not in the same headspace as a 29 person with an established career

[@butterflyed]

From the first question about the cake, i was already cringing. Why why why would she keep seeing him??? Goddam she must've a low self esteem.

[@Fuhrerkinglohengrin]

"Working class family" - "Dad is a business man and when his business took off we had a nice comfortable lifestyle" Those are mutually exclusive, you're either working class, ie. your parents work hard for small monetary returns or you're middle class where your business is comfortably supporting you. You can't be both. I've been both and there is a stark difference.

[@joeysonofjohn]

This story was ridiculous from the very beginning.

[@morganablackwater2017]

Op is not the sharpest tool in the drawer... Bet she thinks that since her parents work it mean they working class

[@etainvelorum5814]

The way he talked to her on the first date sounded very much like manipulation. It was weird to hear that he didn't seem all that interested in relationships even though he was on a literal date. And he practically insulted her for being a college student and buying a $2 cake. Both people in a relationship are supposed to work as a team. If you don't want a job, then there's the home that needs to be taken care of. If you don't want to do that, then get a job. You're both adults!

[@softmoonangel]

She got shown every red flag in the book during THE FIRST DATE yet decided to be with him fot 5+ years??? That's definitely a choice 😀

[@bookgirl2]

So, it is ok that they were embarrassing her but she's got to come back because he and his idiot family felt shame? Girl, thank goodness you ran.

[@_juju_jojo_]

That was predictable asf. Treat anyone and everyone outside the family like shit but as soon someone claps back? Oh boy side the sirens cuz someone commited a cardinal sin

[@FlamesAndShadows]

'In love with him'? o_O Did I miss something? That first date at the most blind and generous is a 'maybe he has some good qualities... Deep... down?'. Because all the hostility, insults and put downs after she payed for herself unprompted were completely unnecessary. And it doesn't seem there was anything good about him after. Not even personality or trying to make her feel loved

[@HeyThatsMe3]

She was 20 and dumb. I give her grace

[@hennigadient4265]

6:43 girl read your own text. Break up ❤️And she needs therapy. Bc the boyfriend is a walking red flag and she needs to learn to have self respect

[@kumikor3392]

OP was young, so of course she had the patience and money to deal with dumb shit. 🙄 That first date was MORE thab enough to make someone run

[@avencree]

So, so many of these stories get to the point of being stories on Reddit because they have gotten that out of control, all could have been avoided or mitigated if the OP didn’t fear being alone. Ladies, gents, and nons; for the love of whatever you hold sacred do NOT fear being alone. It is not the hell you think it is or have been tricked into thinking it is. You are far better off alone than with someone who makes you feel alone, neglected, taking for granted, and optional. Be alone. Fear is their problem, not yours.

[@firehot427]

2 years? I would never. Rather work at a fast food joint than be unemployed for 2 years

[@redluca56]

Bro, I'm barely past the first date bit and this guy sounds like the worst.

[@morganablackwater2017]

I can't even get trough first date description cause I already want to flip the table so many times there is no table left AND SHE STAYED THERE

[@loveyourwaifu1035]

i don't get how she didn't just get up and walk away with her starbies in hand after he said all that shit on the first date

[@royal-wolf]

The first date was a red flag and I would have hoped right out of there when he got upset over ordering a piece of cake

[@lucindaroman330]

He was a bright red, glowing red flag and OP ignored that so hard

[@NC-dw1ir]

If some fool tried to blackmail me like that, I would ALWAYS call their bluff.

[@redblasphemy9204]

> I come from a working class family > my dad was a businessman lmfaooooo

[@originalnamehere1238]

Unless I missed something, I think the writer forgot the fiancé moved in. Why would the person who owns the house leave?

[@personwithaquestion1800]

No they didn't own the house. It was rented. Remember how she said he paid half the rent but not much more for living expenses?

[@originalnamehere1238]

@@personwithaquestion1800 I think I missed that.

[@shadeblackwolf1508]

Sounds like time for a restraining order

[@FlipTheBard]

OP ended up having luck. The guy stopped pestering her after a while, her ex-in-laws paid back the money she spent on the actual gold digger, and she got rid of a toxic family(sans the duaghter that seems to be the most level-headed person there, which is surprising considering how the rest of that family is).

[@RMEDiary]

the guy is a red flag from the first date

[@Erebus04]

In the first Two minutes I am already going "how did this relationship even get to the point of marriage"

[@develyntwocentshenderson5739]

'it is easier to dump a mama's boy/daddy's girl than to divorce one'

[@Latenight_Layce]

He was so concerned about not having a gold digger wife yet shares he has generational wealth on the first date. What a great strategy 😮

[@Rogue_Centurion]

She wasted five years of her life when she should’ve seen it on day one

[@develyntwocentshenderson5739]

and never EVER accept the whiny little boy 'I wannaaaa taaaaallllk' .. they can be dangerous.. very dangerous. do NOT trust them. if you have to try that route, go to a public place. busy restaurant

[@yeyosilver7067]

The guy was useless from the first meeting and she still chose to marry him. I don't feel sorry for the OP

[@ladyweasellou3367]

Who TF gives a guy a second date after a first date like that? Then to keep going and meeting his family and they acted like that but he was too much a p to do anything. Is she TRYING to find misery?

[@thehiddensilentone1795]

Fiance's parents calls her a gold digger and yet, the ex is actually the gold digger.......oh the sweet irony. 🤦

[@Sa_mageste_le_roi]

Ok the most important things to me about a person is how they treat: 1 women 2 poor people That judgmental ass tangent would have me running the other way, and I believe that whoever asked the other person out should be paying

[@anitaramirez4427]

25f and 34m?? 🚩🚩🚩 They started dating when she was 20 and got engaged when she was 22?? 😂 I am so disgusted by this trope of older men dating younger women only to say at the end such bullshit as "I had no idea you felt this way" or "you've not the girl I fell in love with" no shit Sherlock! You fell in love with a child! The brain isn't fully formed until 25 years old 😅 Instead of keeping a rotation of 20 somethings grow up and work on yourself so that women your own age will find you attractive enough to marry. (If people your own age are "too old" then you may want to reflect on that wording) *edit* women are guilty of this too, I only used the example in the video.

[@momomohrege260]

If I did the math right,she was 19 and he was 28 when they met? Red flag already,first date awful.... why would she keep dating him?....

[@C.G.Gaster]

It's why I made myself a personal set if rules before even dating. 1. I need to meet my own standards. If I expect someone else to be fit, I need to be fit. 2. I need a long-term job. No work, makes me like Chris and how I am now. Lazy. 3. My own place. If I have something like that to encourage me to keep a job, then I should be fine. Also personal space away from people 4. 50k saved. This will be the hardest part. Saving 50k. Working overnight at walmart. And not spending any of it would take me 2 years and some. So this is more so a side objective. 1-3 are requirements, while 4 is to ensure that I'm ready to take a step like that. The whole point of setting these for myself is to not become more of a burden than I already am to those around me.

[@morganablackwater2017]

That 50k savings its a lot hope you make it... But general rule is good... Plus being single is good too - I met my partner after 35 and we happy together now... No need to rush - well unless you want kids that probably be a lots of hassle

[@C.G.Gaster]

@@morganablackwater2017 ty, and i hope you've ended up with a good life as well

[@Isla_ed1ts]

What💀

[@amirafinn9720]

Why did she leave HER home? Her place!?

[@peeenguinne3858]

12:49 "AITA for le-" "Nope." For some reason, alone, I blurted the word out immediately hahahahahah

[@ayushkumar-gk1zj]

So his family can insult and shame her but if she retorts she is suddenly a villain? Yeah NTA but it was a stupid decision to date him.

[@Ashley22843]

Op: He was normal. Proceeds to tell us about cringe first date 😂

[@rahulas8653]

Ladies & gentlemen, don't b a doormat!

[@Badruborg]

Says he does not wanna be with a golddigger Becomes the golddigger God entering Earth Chat and slapping down that BIG uno reverse card 😂😂😂😂😂

[@sanddagger36]

dinner is only not ruined by them first because OP is politer than they are. If they reacted half as politely then dinner would've been just fine

[@shafiasimone]

We gotta start recognizing the red threads that weave the red flags. There is no reason for this relationship to have gone past the 1st date.

[@spankosupreme2070]

What about that first date said " sign me up for more?"you gotta be kidding me.

[@tracymil1]

Sometimes i wonder why we get into relationships with these miranara flags

[@DarkEinherjar]

Because love is color-blind, sadly.

[@blakeshadow6898]

Red flag I would leave cuz if he can't keep a job I would not screw up a life I have just to go down in the drain.

[@skinnyguy4180]

Should’ve left a looong time ago

[@morganablackwater2017]

Wow... He would be gone from my life before we would even get first coffee

[@pinklemonade4742]

I do like that they communicated in the end including op and the ex-fiance ended things on a good note. Though if someone I dated treated and did THAT to me even after trying to encourage him to get a high paying job I would have left the relationship earlier.

[@rainyrayrae]

chris must be very pretty, because i can't imagine how else he could have possibly gotten even a second date with this woman, let alone nearly get her to marry him 😂

[@user-fj6cj6ix6h]

So many red flags & your stayed with him, you get what you deserve!

[@prettyinpinky5937]

Why would you see him after that date? Just the cake thing was enough to walk away!

[@djmike9272]

They can buy everything but they can't buy class😂

[@Gaawachan]

Moral of the story: Don't make a Bumble account.

[@abbyjohnson1702]

First date should have been a warning.

[@proatnothing4263]

You should've kicked him out. Also who is the user/profile of OP?

[@thelittlelady1679]

Oh to be young and stupid. The moment she said he smoked weed and didn’t work, I knew how this would go. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self not to waste time on losers.

[@GARBO96]

How could you not tell from the first date that this guy was trouble I really don't feel bad for this girl in anyway shape or form

[@roxannecox7861]

If this really happened, OP was awesome at the dinner.

[@bwicket]

Sounds like Chris was "more himself" on the first date...

[@Angadialas]

I'm a guy and I find this clown as a big red flag from the beggining. I know love is blind but boy this one went with an ice picker right for the eyes...

[@reillycurran8508]

Dude realized that generational wealth isn't necessarily up for grabs in a divorce right? Like an ex-spouse can't lay claim to a share of the family trust fund the way they can to a retirement account or a salary. You'd pay a settlement *maybe* and spousal support *maybe* and then continue right on being a trust fund baby

[@tacooflove6175]

It he really was concerned about gold diggers then telling his dates his family is wealthy is stupid, just say what you make especially if it’s low and you will chase off the gold diggers. I know a guy who works for McDonald’s high up in the company and told women he work in the kitchen at McDonald’s and found a real one ❤ married for 20 years now

[@_juju_jojo_]

Damn that’s depressing. She was basically all he wanted: not a gold digger Strong and Independent Self reliant I would assume other stuff as well and he completely fcked that up. I refuse to believe someone could fumble this badly Biggest AHs are the ILs. Despise mfs like that. Care more bout their image than actually being just good people in general. Don’t wanna see excuses for Chris cuz Jackie was brought up in the same environment as him but she knew how to be a better human being

[@absolutearcher3137]

Dude was a CCP parade. Then again, this guy was OP's best (and potentially only) "friend", so there's probably something wrong with her too.

[@sharksdonteatcake3060]

To be honest I would not have gone on a second date .. the man was a walking giant red flag. Must be blind to miss that one (I've had blind dates like him, I even walked out on some of those)

[@smorphous8928]

A guy isn’t a man when he still relies on someone else to pay for things for him, house husbands are an exception.

[@AshenWitch7302]

If you really love your partner, you won’t let anyone disrespect her

[@morganablackwater2017]

Men who talk about "gold diggers" on first date are incapable of loving a woman... They angry narcissistic manchilldren

[@savannahbotanics]

I’m 1 minute in and I’m trying to figure out how this man even got a 2nd date. I don’t feel bad for OP, she got herself into this mess. She must be color blind, because those red flags were huge.

[@NerdInTheLibrary]

My ex’s family was like that. Especially his mother. Didn’t help that they were white and I am Hispanic which caused his mother to say racist stuff regularly to me.

[@cris4ever70]

Oof. In the end, it sounded like the father did care about his son if he was willing to pay and ask the woman who ‘insulted’ their honor. Dude is spoilt. This family should realize that there really is more to life than just money. You’re rich, hooray! Now be better! Raise your kids as good humans! You have the time all of us lack because we live paycheck to paycheck. Geez.

[@MariaEduarda-ln2ep]

Girlie brough this upon herself. Like, it's one thing if a guy is nice at first and then starts to act abusive, but this guy was shitty from the get go

[@Thaddius0]

Starts video -> hes an artist -> welp, you deserve whatever happens next lmao

[@tallyp.7643]

Blowing money on weed when you've got no job would've had me shipping him back to mommy really damned fast. Nope--she let it drag on too long. Her perception changed? She saw reality. When she said he was an artist, but was dependent on mom and dad's money even though he was working, I thought "oh hell--he's gonna suck as ANYONE's relationship partner. Get out now!"

[@morganablackwater2017]

You would get further than I would xD

[@tallyp.7643]

@@morganablackwater2017 Odds are I wouldn't even let it get that far, but substance use is where I'd have to lay out the tanks & barbed wire boundary: no way in hell & I'm pushing 'em into the sea. I'm a square, I admit it, but I get furious when I see someone complaining about not being able to afford basics or needing to beg for food, but they manage to have enough to buy cigarettes, booze, weed, etc. somehow. Addiction sucks, but priorities, man. Survive and strive over numb comfort.

[@kossettereaditte7552]

This story: "Man rants like a psychopath on our first date then i married him. Now it turns out he sucks."

[@HeyThatsMe3]

Ok she was 20, she’s dumb when it comes to love. Probably her first relationship. I’m so sorry for her after hearing them whole story of how she wasted her youth on a bum.

[@chell807]

Soo, he negged her on the first date and then his family talked garbage about her family to her face and she decided to get with him? She brought this on herself.

[@nanadiaries9189]

Why would she leave her apartment 😂

[@Minty-cs7br]

Imagine 34yrs old unemployed 🤮🤮

[@lisagill4139]

Hell I'm physically and mentally disabled in college and I know better than her ex

[@lovelyladyd24]

How in the heck did this man become her fiancée??

[@jarrodhall3686]

I’m not saying this to victim blame. I’m saying this because YOU are the adult in this situation. YOU have the power of self-analysis and the ability to change course. This Man-child does not. If there is even One major red flag during your first few encounters, leave the situation immediately and break off communication. YOU’RE the only one responsible enough to do the adult thing. Don’t be nice, don’t placate. Leave.

[@lizzykayOT7]

I call fake cause that first date was a red flag.

[@hinatakenpachi6564]

Op brought this worthless garbage into her life. The very second he got all worked up over 2 dollar cake should have been a major red flag and should have ended the date right then and there. But no lets get engaged to him instead yeah!... -.- Also why did Op say he seemed to be more like himself? First date? How the hell do you know the "more like himself"? lol