Artemis Fowl - How to Insult the Audience | Anatomy Of A Failure

[@amberlyveil8856]

This movie is a paradox. You have to read the books to follow what's going on, and if you've read the books, you will hate what's going on even more

[@segafrompk]

Just like what Avatar the last Airbender cartoon fans felt after watching the movie

[@virusguy5611]

You’ll also end up hating the books too

[@clockworkz5359]

@Steffen Bakken for me after the Eternity code and Opal deception the quality of the the story drops, mismanagement of characters and story.

[@DrnMontemayor]

@@clockworkz5359 Opal Deception was the peak. The character mismanagement didn't hurt me as much up until Last Guardian, where Colfer just fucking reset and pretty much retconned what he had established Mulch, Artemis; time travel to have been initially. The whole premise was wrong. 5-7 could've been justified if 8 had given a good pay-off.

[@MarrilMcBlazen]

My thoughts exactly. It only makes sense for the fairies to not enter without permission if you read the books WHERE THEY GIVE YOU AN AIRTIGHT EXPLANATION for it

[@legacyoflore1597]

Note: Artemis being an awesome surfer also contradicts the book - he does not exercise.

[@skydragonslayer9820]

If I remember correctly, in the second book this kid nearly DIED climbing a ladder. So yeah the surfing BS made no sense

[@legacyoflore1597]

@@skydragonslayer9820 I remember one scene specifically, I can't remember which book, but he says something like "Note to self: EXERCISE!"

[@starburst98]

In book 6 he only survives a situation because he actually exercised a bit so his improved upper body strength let him hold on in a precarious position. And even mentions he is glad he started doing that exercise.

[@darthplagueis13]

@@skydragonslayer9820 In all fairness, the ladder was on the outside of a moving train and it was also freezing (plus the train was loaded with radioactive waste). Still, the books very clearly establish that at least early on he's not fit at all.

[@OdaSwifteye]

Disney Exec: He's supposed to be cool but children don't like smart people so show him surfing. Surfing is cool.

[@feralforlorn]

*shows artemis being a surfer to make him seem cool* -forgets the fact that he is widely know not to do any sorts of physical activity and is rather clumsy"

[@zyxyx6754]

Disney has a habit of creating mary sues... on in this case a gary stu.

[@mushrooms5601]

The kid nearly died climbing a ladder

[@bloodnivel70]

Isn't that an improvement?

[@feralforlorn]

@@bloodnivel70 nah, this movie butchered a ton of stuff that dont make sense compared to the books. his main thing is him being smart but weak, clumsy and weird while needing others to do the physical work for him to make his plans work

[@undertakernumberone1]

@@feralforlorn "Clumsy" I'd say is a bit too broad of a term. He isn't physically fit and therefore struggles with stuff that requires that stuff. But stuff that needs a steady hand etc.? Artemis is your man.

[@alecguevara1835]

I remember this part in one of the books where Artemis is in a therapy session and basically breaks the therapist's illusion about how special his chair is. It's such a tiny bit but somehow that's stuck with me through the years and is one of the best ways that the series conveyed how intelligent and brutal Artemis is.

[@alecguevara1835]

@@HUMAN-fq5ff I think so. I know this movie is about book 1 but usually good movies based on books (like Master and Commander) grab bits and pieces from many entries to flesh out the characters. The chapter I refer to is one of the best displays of Artemis' badassery and it has nothing with the silliness displayed on the movie.

[@riukasoulripper8252]

It was in the fifth book wasn't it? The one about the demons?

[@alecguevara1835]

@@riukasoulripper8252 if memory serves me right, yes. It is one of the latter books for sure. He's a moody teenager by then.

[@johannesseyfried7933]

@@alecguevara1835 I could have sworn that it was "The Atlantis Complex", where Artemis suffers from a split Personality, I believe.

[@teagunlinger]

The chair moment is from The Arctic Incident

[@thomasdye7503]

Fans: The movie sucks because it was nothing but an insult to the books Filmento: Also the movie is just really really bad Edit: To clear things up because people got confused the point of the statement was at the time the only thing I would ever see is how bad of an adaptation is, but Filmento was the only person I saw who focused on this movie as a whole. Even if it wasn't an adaptation it would of still been a bad movie.

[@kedemo4602]

And it's bad because it nothing like the book. Like all the bad thing in the film is because thing have been make up or things went missing for no apparent reason just because it's Disney

[@emc246]

The closest thing this movie had to book accuracy was Mulch, and even then they added the weird "giant dwarf" thing.

[@RichterTheRat]

Yeah because fans of the book can't tell it's a bad movie right? Shut up.

[@DrGandW]

Fans: the movie sucks

[@ThanosDestroyeryearsago]

BlowBlow's Jiizare Headventure he didn’t mean that asshole.

[@gratecheese1266]

Book Artemis: gets asthma attack climbing up a ladder Movie Artemis: SURFS UP DUDE!!!

[@blaisetelfer8499]

And I've never heard of the rocky, cold coast of Ireland being an ideal place to surf

[@tyrant-den884]

I would have walked out of the theater right there.

[@Guru_1092]

@@blaisetelfer8499 I used to live there. It's not unheard of, surprisingly, but goddamn is it uncommon.

[@mcpuppyhugger7067]

Surfing is common in the warmer months, especially in the Donegal region. I surfed there myself

[@tyrant-den884]

@@mcpuppyhugger7067 was he surfing in the Donegal region?

[@thrawnnoconnection6931]

Why is "Made for kids" an excuse for something being terrible and horribly thought out? Kids aren't idiots.

[@chasehedges6775]

You're right. Kids are a lot smarter than we think. I know because I was one.

[@M.A.R.S.]

Remember Shark Tale and The Bee Movie? Kids ate those up. Kids are idiots.

[@bloodcottoncandy]

@@M.A.R.S. Those movies were funny. Kids like funny things. Sheesh.

[@gsofficial]

More importantly, given how many children's movies have made tons of money by being made well, thus also appealing to everyone else, what filmmaker would be this unambitous... and why does Kenneth Branagh keep getting work, despite being such a shitty fucking actor and director? Relevant examples of children's movies that appeal to everyone else as well include, like, virtually every animated feature ever made by the company that made this pile of shit.

[@iliketurtles2531]

Nah you guys just don't remember you loved shit tier movies as a kid. Kids love bad movies just as good ones because, pretty much, they don't care. Also you're a fucking liar if you claim you understood the lines, the jokes and the stories of a movie just fine in your early years. Or it's that you're still kids and don't understand any of this lol.

[@ColorsOfOrion]

Worse thing is that, if Disney REALLY wanted a blockbuster franchise, all they had to do was follow the books to the letter, because they stand by themselves pretty good, and the stories have a dark tone that adults would have enjoyed too

[@aidangordon2713]

This. Hand it to Fiege, give him what he needs to do it right, and just watch that gold come rolling in from the box office.

[@Amon_Gus6969]

@@aidangordon2713 dude like even i could have done better

[@Hangman-yq5uh]

​@@Amon_Gus6969 Give me a smashed up phone and some colored tape and I could make a short that makes this movie seem even worse than it already is.

[@Amon_Gus6969]

@@Hangman-yq5uh lets do it together

[@commentperson9036]

disney gonna disney, everything has to be mindless 'entertainment' that doesn't provide deeper thought in hopes it doesn't offend anyone so you can sell more tickets and subscriptions!!!!! meanwhile forgetting that what makes movies fun is seeing people overcome obstacles and make it out of tough situations, and instead just throwing in a montage of cool moments because FUCK YEAH!!!!

[@OtterloopB]

"The most precious artifact in our entire civilization..." So precious, in fact, that it wasn't in a single one of the books 🤦‍♂️

[@hewhositsuponfroggychair5722]

So precious in fact, that you left it in the manor of an 11-year old

[@kayleestephens6774]

THANK YOU

[@ToxicSkull0]

So precious, in fact that I don’t know about it cuz I haven’t seen the movie or read the book

[@a.randomguy950]

ToxicSkull0 it doesn’t even EXIST in the books. I have NO IDEA where Disney pulled that one out of.

[@jimijenkins2548]

So precious, in fact, that it manifests only when the stars align and the plot relevance is just right

[@FuelDropforthewin]

Artemis is a "hella lit surfer"? One of his defining traits in the early books is his lack of physical aptitude, which he actively begins to work on in the later books due to it repeatedly being a problem for him!

[@mayabailes1653]

He doesn't even appreciate being forced to exercise in the gym until the sixth book when he's hanging on to a pylon for his dear life. XD

[@kayleestephens6774]

Thank you! This was a big plot point in the 4th book when hes at the 8 wonders.

[@The_Murder_Party]

RIGHT! I'd just blanked on that when he mentioned it, Damn, that's... just so wrong!

[@pokehunter6467]

I think a big thing about this is that well like most adaptations it won't always be true to its source, also that movies like this are more meant to grab the attention of a stray watcher wanting to watch a movie than an actual person who has read the books and is excited to see where they go with it.

[@FuelDropforthewin]

@@pokehunter6467 I understand that. But this level of disrespect for the source material is like if in the first Pokemon movie Pikachu was a fire type because the director thought fire was cooler than electricity. It's a change that removes a defining character aspect for cheap spectacle. Not a good trade.

[@THawkMedia]

I don't understand how he's called a criminal master mind, when he's just looking for something, in his OWN house

[@felixeisenmenger1914]

And hes kidnapped a Fairie to do it and invited an entire army with more advanced technology than his to his OWN HOUSE.

[@teowachowski1143]

I recommend reading the books, theres not even an "aculos" to look for lol (and the kid is actually a criminal)

[@DrakhValor]

Yo in the first book hes does this all just for greed, wealth an honor. He literally does it all to steal the fairys gold to enrich himself, not to save the world or his dad (who is already presumed dead in the book btw). And he invites the army cause he has a literal god complex and thinks he can outsmart them. But i guess making the posterboy of your kidsmovie a narcissistic, selfserving villain who does everything to enrich himself was too edgy for disney... As if that wasnt the whole point of the book. ( ._.)

[@THawkMedia]

@@DrakhValor jeez bro, Disney always has to change stuff to be politically correct.

[@williambudden9453]

Or how he DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIS DAD WAS A CRIMINAL!

[@RockstarRacc00n]

The saddest part is, this was based on an AMAZING book, where everything that happened was fully and meticulously explained. They've left out the part where the fairies can't enter a house unless you invite them, the part with the neutron bomb, the part where they actually capture him at the end and think they've mind wiped him only to reveal that he was wearing mirrored contacts and had secretly paid off the dwarf a second time to come back for the second book. This is from a highly acclaimed series of like, 10 books, probably some of the smartest young adult books ever written. It's really sad that Disney made this movie, that they absolutely did not care about the actual book series, didn't even bother to attempt to attempt to make a movie based off of sad books. Instead, they chose to take some of the surface aesthetics from the books and write an entirely different story which kills all the brilliance of them. The truly Criminal part is, by buying the rights and making this film, they've precluded anyone else from making a film about the actual book, meaning we will never see an Artemis Fowl film. This isn't just a bad movie, this is the absolute destruction of a piece of American culture. EDIT: I should've said "Literary Culture", because the book is part of international culture, and isn't American.

[@Sgt_Glory]

Like pretty much everything else Disney does these days. 😔

[@justintimefordinner4902]

it's European culture but yes

[@jerryvelasco1474]

Eoin Colfer is Irish, but yes I feel your pain.

[@justintimefordinner4902]

@@jerryvelasco1474 Ireland is part of Europe, island or not

[@jerryvelasco1474]

@@justintimefordinner4902 I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the OG post.

[@grfrjiglstan]

If you're going to adapt a book for the big screen, is it too much to ask to, I don't know, _adapt_ the _book?_

[@Isaackariuki775]

50 Shades of Grey would like to have a word with you after the show.

[@johannes9468]

@@Isaackariuki775 Percy Jackson also...

[@BascoHD]

Give it a decade, it’s happening with Percy Jackson so I’m sure if that’s successful Disney will actually care about the book.

[@wjzav1971]

@@johannes9468 and Eragon

[@Juno101]

Welcome to the magical money making madness of DISNEY. Where you can't have a Antagonist as the main Character, that's likeable and a actual villain. You know, as in the book.

[@bradyswanson1041]

Man, if you thought this movie insulted your intelligence, imagine how all of us fans of the books felt when a movie we’ve wanted for decades turned out to be a steaming heap of shit that doesn’t even follow the book or give any credence to the source material. It was extremely insulting to say the least. The only thing stronger than my anger at Disney for treating me like an idiot was my disappointment in them killing any chance of the books ever being properly made into a movie.

[@piñatoloco]

First world problems

[@imdumbbut1681]

This is exactly like Percy Jackson. I he lost all hope of the books getting a good movies. But now we are getting a Disney Plus series! Don’t lose hope Artemis fans!

[@nobodyimportant2858]

yea i was so exited to watch it and on its premiere day I watched it and i was pissed

[@jasonhenry8067]

@@imdumbbut1681 at least the author of Percy Jackson didn’t act like the movie was a faithful reproduction of his story or even good.

[@slevinchannel7589]

The White-Washing AND Black-Washing is astonishing. You cant tell me its all Coincidence - for that, its too much/many, isnt it??

[@buckethat4178]

I’m not entirely sure the screenwriters actually read the books.

[@om3ga969]

They asked some kid who read the book in a previous life

[@RescueGoat]

Sad thing is that Brennagh agreed to direct the movie because the kids in his family are huge Artemis Fowl fans and begged him to do it...

[@silliercrayon9588]

*read any books

[@turtleanton6539]

Noway

[@rhuanhollands]

I’m not entirely sure that the screen writers are screen writers

[@TheTrueGlaukos]

So how the movie starts off: Artemis surfing How the book starts off: Artemis uses minimal information to implement a plan in which he poisons a fairy and uses the antidote to extort her to make a copy of her ancient fairy book. which of these establishes tone and character?

[@ciphergacha9100]

Both, the first one just establishes the wrong tone and character for a movie pretending to be artismis fowl

[@g.d.graham2446]

Definitely

[@lincolnduke]

The book: "After several nights out in the field under the cover of a super specialised military material that deflects any and all sensor readings" The film: "Butler wears an undersized peice of web netting over his suit and stands by a tree"

[@sneakydeekie5472]

Several MONTHS if I remember correctly! At many different locations!

[@DualDesertEagle]

@@sneakydeekie5472 Yup, ur right about that.

[@couragew6260]

Amy Wallis 4 months to be exact.

[@noirangel6416]

I feel bad for the kid playing Artemis. Its his first movie and hes stuck with this as his debut.

[@bryanvang9862]

Yeah, it's not the kid's fault. It's the big boy adults that came up with the shitty script and poor direction. Hope the kid doesn't get hate.

[@Philocyb1n]

daniel radcliffe is not just harry potter, and if you think that you should be alone for the rest your life. I feel bad for artemis actor tho bc he prob wasent even paid that well

[@s8j7s71]

He really could have been so iconic if Disney didn’t mess it up

[@himayamata]

Remember Jake Lloyd (the boy who played as Anakin Skywalker) also the Noah Ringer (the boy who played as Aang in the live-action movie Last Airbender) he had only two films and then he "retired" from acting in 2011.

[@hohrhamikaiolaf464]

When the role you play as actor does not klick for the audience you are basicly fucked even tho it is not your own fault no matter how good you play it Like the dude who played the joker in sucide squad he playd well but a lot of kids hate him now lol

[@francis4650]

It’s actually pretty much impossible to win in chess against a decent opponent with 5 moves. Pros know opening traps and every possible checkmate in under 5 moves has been discovered and mostly dismissed as not possible to integrate into a normal game without cutting any loss.

[@planescaped]

I can beat a chess master in 3 moves. All I need is a cowboy hat and a revolver...

[@heheheyup6573]

@@planescaped Bruh moment

[@thomashanke4857]

Indeed. Being able to win at all, in normal time or 5 minute blitz or any more would be enough.

[@joejitsu034]

Agreed Whoever thought that up has clearly never played Chess.

[@ridiculousrascal2919]

Yes, I believe in the books he used six moves at least.

[@egreat1036]

The plot of this movie is: “You cannot kill me without my consent.” Fairies: oh. Oh. Alrighty then.

[@fis001r]

This is explained in the book. There it's explained that they can't enter a human house without the owners consent or else they loose their magic which to them is basically like being ill or disabled.

[@bluefenneris9009]

@@fis001r yeah but it got eatblished in the first scene where holly entered the restaurant to save the child when she interpreted his cry as an invitation to enter inside however that never happens in the movie

[@captainmega6310]

@@fis001r that's a little dumb, but it's better then nothing

[@Zinoba_]

@@captainmega6310 in the books it's treated just as a rule how the world/magic system works. It's tied into the story quite well. Artemis knows stuff like this (and the magic refill ritual) because there's books with the "rules", and he located a fairy and took her book. The whole reason why they get the dwarf to tunnel into the manor is because he's a chronic thief and has long lost his magic, so he can enter uninvited.

[@captainmega6310]

@@Zinoba_ well, at least they do cool stuff with that. Maybe i'll read it once i'm not broke

[@Fernando-ek8jp]

The saddest part is that, from what I hear, they tried to make Artemis relatable. I did read the first 5 books multiple times, I'm a fan. Artemis was never meant to be relatable, not from the start. He does have some likeable traits, and has cracks of vulnerability every now and then, but he's meant to be and feel superior, detached, cold and arrogant.

[@catfoy8888]

Yeah the book series was kind of a redemption for him

[@ShiningDarknes]

The first book he is SUPPOSED to be insufferable and not relatable (oh and also he is well aware that his family business is illegal goods trafficking and theft). He is a child genius and criminal mastermind how the fuck are you supposed to relate to that? It is part of what made the first book so captivating. And yeah as the series goes on he become more and more of an actual human being. But they tried to shove the first and second books together and it did not work at all.

[@majkus]

Which (from what I have seen of the comments on this film) seems to be precisely what the stonefaced performance from the young actor (for whom I have genuine sympathy) is intended to portray. Given the mess the actual production seems to have been, perhaps they changed their mind on this part way through?

[@DonVigaDeFierro]

According to Aaron Ehasz (Head writer of THE LAST AIRBENDER), characters should NOT be "relatable", "likable" or "sympathetic", because it's often done very poorly... Characters instead should be compelling, believable, dimensional and intriguing.

[@elpretender1357]

Trying to make him more relatable? They made a "2 cool 4 scool" character, that's like the antithesis of being relatable

[@Fernando-ek8jp]

Also, the original plot was so much simpler: kid criminal wants money, kid criminal finds out that fairy folk exist and have huge reserves of gold, kid criminal kidnaps a fairy for ransom. He's the protagonist and villain. He sets everything in motion. There was no mystical artifact.

[@herbertwalter8693]

Are you suggesting we should have a proactive protagonist? BLASPHEMY

[@Brindlebrother]

Are you suggesting we should remove mystical MacGuffins? HERESY

[@Troggedemic]

Are you suggesting they should have gone with an established and beloved story rather than write their own? INSOLENCE

[@awesomeblader45]

Are you suggesting they should have made a movie everyone would have enjoyed for many years to come, thus becoming a future classic? SACRILEGE

[@ErebosGR]

Sounds as dumb as kidnapping a leprechaun to steal his pot of gold.

[@RhantheSlayer]

The fact that there was a book, as well as a graphic novel that stuck with the book’s original story, means that Disney failed even though they had TWO SOURCES TO WORK FROM!!

[@generalharness8266]

Disney has source material? I thought the first thing they do is throw out anything that fans could say was a story?

[@M1chael42O1]

not the first time they did that shit. Look at the Star Wars Sequels clearly Disney has learned nothing still

[@shacuras8201]

Imagine if they had just copied the graphic novel shot for shot. Easy, successful movie

[@matxalenc8410]

@@shacuras8201 Yes. They wouldn't even have to spend time creating a storyboard.

[@thornwalker8970]

Shacuras And from what I saw the movie’s designs for the fairy civilization is like... Totally copied from the graphic novel??? So they really went the lazy-ass way

[@Lucidplays34]

Artemis: *slams slider shut* Anyone with any common sense and snark: *stands up slightly, looking through wire* "I can still see you, still talk to you. That's right, keep walking kid, didn't think that through did ya? Right genius you are"

[@southofheck]

It woulda been funny if they made that joke. But at the same time, it wouldn’t of been, since the main kid is supposed to be some super genius.

[@simonwyzik8661]

Why is shy in a cage? This movie is terrible

[@hansandhispanzerfaust6236]

Plus the lock on the cage door is a masterlock. Anyone who picks/watches LPL would know that that is a super easy lock to pick. Or you could just kick at the rotted 200 year old floorboards he is using fir the cell.

[@acemarvel1564]

I would just pretend he is keeping me quiet and say: wow he calls himself a genius but he couldn’t just buy a better cage? MAN I SURE HOPE THAT FOUR EYED DORK DIDN’T HERE THAT, IT MIGHT HURT HIS WITTLE FEEWINGS!!!! Artemis looks back Me: thats right sucka, Stay mad😎

[@IOxyrinchus]

When you realise $125 million was spent on a film that got 9% on Rotten Tomatoes and 4.1/10 on IMDb, way to go Disney, your streaming platform really needed this disasterpiece

[@rick5219]

Ass

[@planescaped]

Disney is not what it was in the 'golden age'. They're more Electronic Arts these days and less CDPR...

[@michaelstrong5383]

If this were released in theaters, this would have bombed tremendously. It would have made the box office money from Mars Needs Moms look like a Marvel movie by comparison.

[@kyotheman69]

they are lucky it went on streaming service, if this went to theaters they would lost even more money

[@kyotheman69]

@@michaelstrong5383 ugly as sin, but lease they tried to show us a story, not straight telling us about things, yeah...no

[@marsagul846]

Artemis in the books: Cold, calculating, pale, skinny criminal mastermind who overshadows his father and is the smartest person in any given room. He is the person you turn to when your back is pinned to against the wall, he is never seen without a suit, and hates physical activity deciding to leave it to Butler. Artemis in the movie: Annoying, snot nosed, well-fed kid who enjoys surfing, getting in on the action, and lounging around in, what would make real Artemis retch at the thought, wearing a t-shirt, jeans and a jacket. Holly in the books: Feisty, lovable, smart, elf who is the first female in an elite branch of the LEP, and if she fails will be used as an example as to why females can’t handle important jobs. Holly in the movie: A generic fairy cop who gets kidnapped and is rescued by a primarily women police force which takes away the reason you root for her. Butler in the books: A Eurasian warrior who has come up with 50 different ways to kill you in any situation if you glance at Artemis the wrong way. He is the muscle of the team and is usually the person making sure that the rest of them don’t die and the first human to take on a troll (the deadliest creature on the planet) and win. Butler in the movie: A black old guy who shows Artemis what his dad did and, instead of having a epic battle between man and beast he gets squished by the troll before the fight had even began. Not to mention his ancestors were probably slaves to the Fowl’s. I could do more but I think I’ve said my piece

[@bioman1hazard607]

Nah, you pretty much nailed it. The fact you covered it so clear just shows how incompetent disney now actually is

[@christianmadsen1092]

@@bioman1hazard607 Yeah, I'm going to go read the books again just to purge my mind of the heresy I just witnessed. At least I watched this youtube vid instead of the actual film. Good riddance.

[@sanjeethmahendrakar]

I'm not mad at them casting a black guy as butler in the movie because if I recall correctly Butler's race doesn't heavily influence the plot of the book. But I do wish they chose someone who's s bit more imposing and not just any big dude. Maybe someone like idris Elba. Anybody who can carry themselves as required. Essentially a better actor.

[@christianmadsen1092]

Terry Crews might have been a decent choice as well. But let's All just forget about this abomination. Disney should never have been the ones to make it into a film, nearly all they make is garbage anyway.

[@MetaGiga]

Root: A *man* in charge of LEP-Recon and puts pressure on Holly due to her being the *first* female operative. Smokes excessively, has a gut, and earned his position the hard way. Rough around the edges, but genuinely believes in Holly Root in the movie: A *woman* in charge of LEP-Recon and is proof that Holly *isn’t* the first female operative. Makes Holly’s overall struggle against a sexist work environment pointless due to being at the top. Says ‘top of the morning’ unironically to seem badass

[@halt1931]

I think the thing that sums it all up is the safe behind the painting on the wall. In the books, the safe behind the painting was a fake safe, designed as a decoy. The actual safe was a masterfully crafted tiny safe in the frame of the painting itself - a thief might check behind the painting, but none would ever check the painting itself for a safe. This shows perfectly just who Artemis is, as the safe where he keeps his most valuable items is hidden in a truly cunning place, and an arrogant one at that; it could have been hidden in any random place, but he had to choose the one that would have been right under the thief's nose, but where they would never have noticed it. It also shows off Mulch's abilities as a master thief, as he is able to tell just by swinging the painting off the wall that it's a little too heavy, he guesses that it's a safe, and he's able to use his natural talents to pick the tiny lock and open the safe. In the movie, the safe is behind the painting, because I guess that's where the safe is. Not exactly the most original and secretive place. In the books, the contents of the safe is a copy of the fairy Book - essentially their Bible, that contains everything one might need to know about how the fairies work. Artemis went through many, many leads and plans trying to obtain this Book, and the novel is very descriptive about the ingenious way in which he deciphers the Book into a readable language, by reasoning out any links it may have had to ancient human languages, even resorting to printing out the words in the Book, cutting them out with scissors, and gluing them back together in a more legible arrangement to translate. He used the knowledge from the Book to set up the trap to kidnap a fairy, which set the events of the entire series into motion. Mulch finding the Book is a pretty pivotal turning point, as it's when the fairies finally realize that Artemis knows much, much more about them than they had thought, and gives them a sense of just how much trouble they're in. In the movie, the stupidly hidden safe contains a mcguffin that we never really hear about the capabilities of, save that "oh no mcguffin is really strong guys!1!!". Artemis knows about fairies not because he reasoned it out, but because his DAD did, and basically told him to as well. The books show things like how important the Book is to the plot and how intelligent Artemis is through going into detail about them and describing proof that backs it up. The movie says "it's important and he's smart", then proceeds to never show why it's important and give all the credit to his father (who, by the way, was missing and presumed dead by all in book one; it's an almost touching plot point where he gives up hope on the search for his father to make room in the operations room for his main plan), which also completely undermines the idea of him being the smart one. Just that one little clip is enough to highlight the devastating differences between the books and the movie, and how little attention was paid to the source material.

[@hohrhamikaiolaf464]

UP

[@Ingaming_Coma246]

Clearly, we can see where the care and attention was placed and where the care and attention was placed in order to make as quick as a buck as possible.

[@stroud9208]

Now I just wanna read the book again

[@Dire-Locke]

I dont know anything about these stories except the movie version is awful but this little bit of story telling you just explained from the book was infinitely more interesting and did so much more to develop the characters than an entire movie did for me. Congratulations you can officially write better than a movie produced for millions! Sure you might be just going off of the book directly but its better than the entire movie that could have done the same exact thing.

[@antongrigoryev6381]

@@Dire-Locke Well, if you didn't read the book yet - it gets better. Artemis goes for all of it not because of some kidnapping by a villain that does nothing else but to get money, as after his father disappeared (a situation not connected to fairies in any way) finances started to go down, so Artemis decided to get a ransom in gold, as it's something that Book says elves do. So it really shows him in the "kid criminal genius" vibe, not trying to hide his actions behind 'good intentions'. Basically, every point raised in the video was done properly in the book.

[@grimgrauman7650]

The Book: This is Butler, and everybody calls him Butler because this is his job and nobody of them realy know is first name The Film: NEVER CALL HIM BUTLER OR HE WILL KILL YOU!!!!!

[@slevinchannel7589]

This is like the Sherlock-TV-Series where still countless people are embarassingly convinced its a good show, even though KZbinrs, like 'Hbomberguy' have made whole Documentarys about it being objectively bad AND insulting to all Fans; kinda like Artemis Fowl and Last Airbender. ...I dont know... i just wished more people would watch and share this video, so people stop saying its a great show, when its objectively not.

[@wool578]

@@slevinchannel7589 so you're just angry over sherlock

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@wool578 Uhm... What? ?

[@prann5202]

@@slevinchannel7589 except in the Sherlock series the stories were at least entertaining, even if it did portray the original characters in completely different angles the stories by themselves were kinda interesting. Artemis fowl is just a hot mess. The only thing the film has in common with the books is the name, but take away the name and the film itself is still shit.

[@As-tray]

@@slevinchannel7589 how much are you gonna post it kiddo? lmao

[@Fernando-ek8jp]

One last rant: I get that movie adaptations can't be 100% faithful to their source and that changes have to be made to fit the medium. But it is still incredibly disheartening that pretty much all of the issues mentioned are dealt with in the source material: -Absent parents: the father had been missing for about a year and the mother had a mental breakdown about it so bad it rendered her almost catatonic. -Criminal streak: the family had always taken part in organized crime. -Digging in: it had been shown that sneaking attempts had been thwarted, fairies cannot enter a dwelling without permission or magic rendered them sick, that dwarf had lost a lot of his magic so the effect was much lesser with him. Also, he makes it to the cellar -Knowledge of fairies: Artemis had been looking into them for a long period of time and only kidnapped one after months of planning, having gotten his hands in the equivalent of the fairy Bible/constitution which literally contain folklore and the magical rules that bind the fairy folk.

[@jessicaable5095]

Worse than catatonic. She was walking around and cowering under sheets, tormented by shadows and fantasies of a present husband, and couldn't remember who Artemis was most of the time

[@outofsyncsamurai]

also from what i remember a lot of these things would have resolved a lot of the issues that were presented in this video

[@samrooney2958]

Disney: But don't worry!! You might feel emotion,like sadness or was so his dad is great is and how mom died of something, but don't worry because Artemis delt with that completely healthily, also we can't have butler be scary or anything so we really toned down on what he and Artemis do, but there still cool, right?

[@samrooney2958]

Dumb autocorrect I can't communicate anything and the edit button won't work

[@Abnar95]

for the knowledge : there is a cutscene for that.

[@breadman2983]

Why does Artemis sound like he's trying to yell but his parents are asleep in the other room.

[@Xport9]

I mean, don't you do it when you were young?

[@Naxtor72]

@@Xport9 Thanks to that I'm still Psychologically unable to scream even if I'm completely alone lol

[@yincenteno298]

Everyone in the movie was whispering WHY WAS EVERYONE WHISPERING!?!? Sdkfjrje, it confused and aggravated me so much that no one could talk normally the entire movie. What the hell was up with that??

[@alphatrion100]

@@yincenteno298 they think thats good acting

[@angrywizard3199]

"I'm too old to believe in fairies" that's ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS THE BOOK ESTABLISHED! It talks about how artemis is just young enough to still believe in magic but still smart enough to try and exploit it.

[@monarchco]

"All we learn about any character is their race" Disney: "But thats all that matters..."

[@FaithLuvUnbroken]

@airlockengage If only Disney would humble their insatiable pockets and read reviews after making a dookie storm movie like this they’d put that $100m to good use

[@blckdrke8050]

@airlockengage also they decided not to use the already existing representation of skin colors and genders from the books but to mix almost everything up...

[@deandrenicholas2545]

@airlockengage I've been saying that for a while now. It's crazy as hell...

[@jeremyusreevu237]

The thing about characters is it's not their physical characteristics that make them iconic. Daria could be a guy, Ed from Good Burger could be caucasian, and Jodee from Soap could be straight, and it wouldn't matter, because it's their personalities and relationships that make them great characters. I'll admit that I'm not the most knowledgeable about the sort of thing, but a characters gender, race, or sexuality don't matter as long as they're likable, interesting, and compelling, and the constant quest for representation undermines that fact.

[@caralho5237]

@@jeremyusreevu237 Damn right This leftist push for representation is just them trying to put their greasy little hands over every cultural expression to push political agendas

[@dv8tyler692]

Wait... You trying to tell me this kid beat a chess CHAMPION with a fool's mate? A mate that basically requires your opponent be completely inexperienced at chess? This movie does think we're blithering idiots.

[@tamadnapagong7860]

Actually that was in the books too but in a different context

[@alexmcsandwichface2075]

@@tamadnapagong7860 what was the different context?

[@tamadnapagong7860]

@@alexmcsandwichface2075 He played against a grandmaster to get inside russia.

[@unhandydaddy5117]

@@tamadnapagong7860 yeah but defeating a chess grandmaster in just 5 moves is still pretty much impossible. Every chess player who is good at it, let alone a Grandmaster, knows every single opening there is and can probably predict what your next move will be depending on how you open. A grandmaster would be able to tell that your trying to beat him by a fool's mate and counter it and probably make fun of you for even trying it.

[@tamadnapagong7860]

@@unhandydaddy5117 yeh i know i play chess too. I am just saying it was also in the books

[@schwarzerritter5724]

"When he was 7, he beat the European chess champion in 5 moves." That certainly sounds impressive... to everyone who does not know anything about chess. The only explanation how that can actually happen is if someone payed the champion to take a dive.

[@icecold1805]

Isn't having money to bribe equate being a genius in America?

[@joejitsu034]

Yep. Actually impossible to beat *any* player in 5 moves if they learned the Scholars Mate. & it’s the first thing we ALL learn 😂

[@RedFloyd469]

@@joejitsu034 Not neccesarily. Sometimes a player might just not be paying attention enough, or maybe they're playing a very fast game for the first time and don't take the time to think. While I'm certainly no expert, I am pretty decent in chess, and yet I've been beaten in a few turns a couple of times. A lack of attention, or too much focus on your own pieces and attack strategy can easily make you lose the game. That said, It's only happened a few times in hundreds and hundreds of games, and I definitely watch out for early game shenanigens more often, but it absolutely can happen. Whether it actually can happen against a chess master is a completely different question. The Movie here thinks that being a genius suddenly makes the opponent a dumbass. The rules for chess are strict, and grandmasters are likely to know every trick in the book, the only role genius plays is whether you can predict a great deal of moves beforehand or not, which is entirely dependent on what the opponent will do. So what happened here is simple: people that have never played chess wrote a script for people of which they assumed also did not know how chess works. Because all they "know" is that "chess is for smart people hurdiefuckingdur" even though it's actually a very simple game to learn. The screenwriters believe the audience is filled with morons.

[@khosrowzare8301]

Of course it's possible: Move 1: Move a random pawn forward Move 2: Pick up your knight and throw it at the opponent Move 3: Flip the table Move 4: Punch your opponent in the face while he's distracted. Move 5: Pick up the chess board before it hits the ground and beat your opponent over the head with it, K.O., you are done.

[@Papada00]

I agree. It is so dumb and unbelievable. They could have just write... "When he was 7, he beat the european chess champion"... without the stupid "in 5 moves" and the script will be waaay much better and believable.

[@emyron1843]

I think the laziest and most insulting part of this entire movie (book adaptation flaws aside, that is) is that the entire movie is an egg hunt for the "Magical Maguffin" and yet the entire hunt happens inside of a freaking house and beyond that it takes an elaborate plan to coax in the faeries to use a dwarf to discover that stupid Maguffin is locked inside of a safe behind a picture!?!?!? You're telling me that Artemis Fowl is a freaking prodigy among prodigies, and yet never went "hm, maybe we should check the most obvious places first, such as, behind freaking pictures." WHAT?!?!?!?!

[@AnnekeOosterink]

Right? Which is why the books never had a macguffin, or stupidly obvious hiding places for them. There was never a search for anything in the first book. It's so annoying, especially the first book is basically an action movie in book form, there's so little they would need to change to get a really good script out of it. Why not use the plot that was already popular with millions of people, that worked, that had very few obvious holes etc. Instead the writers (the way too many writers, there's like 7) decided to go with every "what not to do in film writing" mistake they could find.

[@emyron1843]

@@AnnekeOosterink Wa-wa-wa-wait, you're telling me that there were SEVEN writers on this film, and not a single one of them stood up and said "uh, guys, wtf are we doing?" That's ridiculous, like, holy crap, how is that even possible.

[@marina.chayka]

I think Artemis can't open the safe and needs the dwarf for that. I don't know if this is in the movie or I made it up in my head to make it less terrible.

[@yashodhellepola5660]

@@marina.chayka Artemis breaks into a safe with biometric security(I am drastically understating the security of this particular safe) in the third or fourth book. That safe(the movie) would have been nothing for him.

[@themasterseye]

@@AnnekeOosterink They basically said "hey good job writing this really successful book we are gonna make it a movie. Havent read it but heard its great. Dont worry though we will totally make it better with lasers........ and surfing"

[@stickers2264]

One of the best parts of the book is how it shows Artemis as a kind of villain, then shows him becoming less and less of that, and started to work with the LEP recon, but here it just says "let's skip that, and switch genders of cap because we need more female rep".

[@kwow3233]

even though the whole reason holly was in hot water originally was cause she was the first female officer and she might give new female officers bad reps? Yeah. CHEAP I SAY.

[@calebdouglas2512]

Unpopular opinion, but I actually think they had the potential to pull Root off as a woman. Sure, Holly being a female LEP officer would have been less impactful, but if you don't establish that in the first place then it won't be a problem, and Dame Judy Dench is easily good enough to sell the role convincingly. However, this is not what happened, and we ended up with less impact and no real characters at all. When I saw Dench was gonna be playing Root, I actually thought it was a decent (if unusual) casting choice, but alas, it was total garbage

[@qzoid3060]

@@calebdouglas2512 well said

[@brunobruno-c1d]

@@calebdouglas2512 usually, anything has potential to be pulled off if done well, even the most stupid and dumb ideas, like, even ghostbusters 2016 could've been great, but usually when a gender change is done its not because theres a good idea, and often that leads to it not being done well (worse ideas can work but require more effort), sadly

[@artemis1123]

It pisses me off so much. I can understand doing that for like..the third or maybe even second movie. But the whole point of Holly’s character is to PROVE to her superiors that she/women as a whole can be LEP, as she is the very first female in the force.

[@beetle149]

>Smartest child in the world looks for a mcguffin inside his house >Doesnt check behind every painting for a safe those are things anyone that ever watched a movie knows

[@OdaSwifteye]

In a well written story a child genius would always make simple mistakes based on Common Sense. They wouldn't be invincible and peerless thus making this mistake an element of characterization.

[@NekoWaffle]

@@OdaSwifteye In the novels Artemis is very brilliant and detail oriented, but that's as much his flaw as it is his strength. His common sense is still exceptional, but he is exceedingly arrogant and as a result is constantly underestimating and guessing about things he should have been assuming were going to the worst possibly for him. It has been some time since I read the original, but I recall a particular passage where I believe it was Holly (who may or may not have been getting a little stockholmy at this point in time) notices that while Fowl's little saferoom and bunker in his house has something like a 6 inch thick magnetically sealing door bolted into the wall, the molding was wood and if LEP decided to use their magical nuke, everyone inside was going to die. Artemis's faults were his superiority complex and inexperience; it made him a good character to watch develop as he realizes that when the stakes are raised there were real consequences for failure or a lack of contingency on his part. Getting back to the video now; I hope I didn't just write an essay on something that's covered at a later timestamp.

[@robertbretschneider765]

In the book that safe was Artemis property and he stuck one of several copies of the elvish bible/sacred "the book" inside it. Nothing too valuable for him, but at this point the elves did not know where he got all those intel of elves from, he told holly he set her on truth drugs and questioned her, which was cruel because she believed then that she was a traitor that ratted on her whole nation. But the real safe wasnt the safe behind the painting, in there was only some money, the real safe with the book was a lead mini-safe hidden inside the thick painting frame. Mulch diggums finding it and opening it was a show-off of his awesome ability, but the hidden safes location was a show-off from artemis'es genius too...

[@MorallyCorrupted]

beetle149 not gunna lie the second I enter a massive house or hotel I immediately check the paintings for secret shit I also pull on random books in book shelves because who wouldn’t...except Artemis Fowl a genius who got tricked by baby’s first espionage level hiding. If Artemis called the police and said that there were drunks in the house they would have checked behind the paintings

[@TheManBehindTheSlaughter6669]

@@robertbretschneider765 doesn't the forcefield the LEP put around the mansion also keep time stuck to night during the whole siege as well?

[@soulfestyouactivatedmytrap5118]

This movies the worst cast of ‘telling not showing’ I’ve ever seen.

[@Persian-Immortal]

Not according to Disney.

[@aguywithalotofopinions412]

The Last Airbender

[@littlemisseevee2309]

A Guy With A Lot Of Opinions doesnt avatar the last airbender show a lot more than it just tells? and when it tells it usually has a reason doesn’t it?

[@VerdaTal]

Episode 2's "No, I saved *you* and that's why we're such good friends even though we constantly bicker and undermine each other" stuff was pretty bad, but that was just the stuff to make the characters relevant. This is an entire movie of it. Unbelievable.

[@littlemisseevee2309]

Derek Ehiorobo I forgot it existed

[@Kaiju_Inc]

The worse insult of it all is that 90% of these problems are here because they cut out the explanation that was in the book...

[@themasterseye]

No the reason there are all these problems is they tried to write a movie instead of adapting a book.

[@pokehunter6467]

@@themasterseye I mean it is very difficult as well to make a movie adapted from a book, I mean you had the Harry Potter franchise that can feel disjointed at times because you can only put in so much, I think the best example of a book movie would be Hunger Games and that's kind of it.

[@nicholasrobinson7243]

Basically, if you want a good artemis fowl story, read the book Why am I not surprised that Disney failed at a simple task, again?

[@Strawberry-ug1wy]

I feel bad for Ferdia Shaw. It’s his first big movie role and he gets this movie. I hope people don’t have a nonsensical grudge against him for this movie in his future.

[@marbl3d45]

Facts

[@The_Director_]

His grandfather was robert shaw (quint from jaws)

[@acemarvel1564]

Oh no no no We actually feel sorry for the actors involvement they simply needed money, its the writing staff and “creative” teams that we don’t trust making movies

[@MrEndstage]

@@acemarvel1564 could just be how Disney wanted it written and they had to fill in the details

[@bravelittleroomba]

How did Hagrid get sucked into this Also, Judi Dench is on a real winning streak. First Cats, now this.

[@74opt66]

@xMaNrEbOrN78 probably lost a horrible bet

[@yellowlemonmothfreak]

lmfao

[@tjenadonn6158]

@xMaNrEbOrN78 There are also cases where it's done to protect the actors, especially for child actors in R rated movies. The kid who played Danny Torrance in The Shining had no idea that he was in a horror film until he watched it as an adult.

[@fullmetaltheorist]

Judi Dench to herself *I'm about to end this woman's whole career.*

[@bravelittleroomba]

@boulderarms "Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. " ~ Zoolander

[@yonataneavri8298]

The book: is amazing The fans: u literally cannot mess this up just ctrl-c ctrl-v! The movie: fails

[@matteblack2391]

Same with the Percy Jackson movies and books! The books are great! The movies: SUCK!!

[@dtheriault3]

Yeah but at least the percy Jackson movies followed the events and plot of the books even if the execution really sucked. The Artemis fowl movie didn't even keep the cast the same. I don't care about gender or race swaps in fact I found them to be pretty cool for the most part. However to have the villain from later books and his dad in this movie when he is already a well established villain from the books and had his mom as a parental figure. Ugh. It really is as simple as ctrl-c ctrl-v but I guess disney couldn't bare having a child villain.

[@crayoneater2089]

@@dtheriault3 Wasn't Root a huge mysogynist though? It wouldn't make sense for him to be a girl.

[@tonig2255]

@@dtheriault3 this is false. The movies are literally nothing like the books

[@domeplsffs]

Leave it to big Studios with billions of millions of budget to be literally to retarded to hit a frigging broadside of a barn...

[@ShankMugen]

Artemis being outside fighting with Butler goes against everything his character is like in the books Artemis always stays away from harm's way as much as he can

[@theatomicbonbon3717]

I mean that's why he has Butler in the first place

[@tyrant-den884]

IT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING BUTLER IS LIKE IN THE BOOKS. He would *NEVER* allow Artemis to fight a group of unknown threat level fairy SWAT team in the books, even if he *might* have been able to hold his own. His teacher would have hunted him down and sliced his blue diamond off.

[@ryuukake]

The worst part is almost every one of those problems was something they cut/ changed from the books.

[@SlightlyDisturbed123]

The idea of Artemis Fowl surfing is HILARIOUS.

[@mysticfollower8380]

YES

[@valcant940]

Artemis in jeans kung fu fighting XD

[@classarank7youtubeherokeyb63]

"Okay, now that L has discovered Faries, what is he supposed to do?" "Wait, L? You mean Artemis?" "Ooooh... Yeah, I think we adapted the wrong material..." "Forget it, nobody will notice. If L can probably surf then so can Artemis."

[@OriLOK2]

Knowing that in the book, Artemis Fowl got into a lot of trouble because he was physically inept and frequently relied on Butler to do the physical stuff, it makes the whole thing absurd.

[@Cryogenius333]

@@OriLOK2 Always* relied on Butler to do the physical work. But thats Butlers job. Hes supposed to protect Artemis. Its his sole duty. And the whole "10 years of martial arts, 3 years of combat blablabla was just further disrespect to what Butler is. Hes been training in Martial Arts his entire life. Hes a former Green Beret. Hes a legendary bodyguard. His entire family has been trained by one of the most esoteric orders of bodyguards in the world. He hates roundhouse kicks(they are unprofessional), the guy is a total professional in everything. Im not aure where they were going with this.

[@Megafreakx3]

Calling the Artemis Foul movie an "adaptation" is an insult to adaptations anywhere. From what I've seen, there are a few character names from the book, but the story is basically the opposite of what the books are about.

[@YamiSpyroX]

So it's just like How to Train Your Dragon then? Last Film: We need to save the dragons from the bad human poachers! Last Book: We need to stop the dragons and ourselves from committing mass genocide!

[@AchedSphinx]

@@YamiSpyroX well, artemis is played up to be the hero in the movie. he's actually the villain in the books. so yeah a lot to unwrap.

[@magiv4205]

@@YamiSpyroX At least both the books and adaptations were great for HTTYD, even though both universes are completely different from one another. This - this is just TRAGIC.

[@greenmushroom2587]

@@YamiSpyroX The difference is that, while quite different from the books, the movies made the effort to make sense on its own right by delivering a good set up, building up and growing the characters and finishing with a satisfying conclusion. So on that level you can see the movies as using the books as a spiritual guide at the same time as trying to be its own thing. It is very easy then to love both the books and the movies seperately as their own universes. Artemis Fowl however...well..I have no idea what the hell that movie was trying to do (Besides profit, of course).

[@dulcimerrafi]

@@YamiSpyroX True, but even if the HTTYD series are not necessarily faithful adaptations, they are at least good films, which I guess is rare. This is just a bad film, period. Even people who haven't read the books can see that.

[@ironwolfF1]

ProTip: if you need to say out loud you're a 'criminal genius'...you ain't.

[@gins6295]

Lol, like those guys who claim they are alpha males all the time.

[@thichinhphan4010]

@@gins6295 Or some people saying they are nice but don't get good partners to love them (reason is because they cheated or are just horrible in general). Or commercials promising the products are absolutely fantastic that you have to own it to be happy. Or insecure people saying stuff to fit in the crowd and then blaming said crowd for making them unhappy/not treating them right. Oh humanity and its ever present misfortunes 😂

[@Heightren]

When characters commit suicide by self-introduction

[@sunthorn4782]

r/iamvsrysmart be like

[@micha5200]

"I'm a very stable genius"

[@a.m.s6611]

I think the words "our hero Artemis Fowl" says it all given that this was supposed to be book one

[@kardnails8729]

They call him criminal mastermind and hero almost in the same sentence. And at the end, they show us neither. In the first book he was a selfish shut-in genius who kidnapped fairies for money!

[@Cyromantik]

He _says_ "I'm Artemis Fowl, and I'm a criminal mastermind"?!? Holy Hell, that's beyond parody level.

[@exxon101]

Have you never heard a human being announce their character traits so that everyone understands them? :^)

[@thewildcard600]

@@exxon101 vegans maybe? i dunno

[@DerickMasai]

@@thewildcard600 Spot on!

[@je9533]

@@thewildcard600 ?

[@thibautdesaivre4413]

The most unrealistic thing is that the smartest one is, the least he says it. A smart genius would never be constantly bragging about it

[@LuciferSpiro1993]

According to the book "Young enough to believe in fairy's, old enough to exploit them"

[@slevinchannel7589]

This is like the Sherlock-TV-Series where still countless people are embarassingly convinced its a good show, even though KZbinrs, like 'Hbomberguy' have made whole Documentarys about it being objectively bad AND insulting to all Fans; kinda like Artemis Fowl and Last Airbender. ...I dont know... i just wished more people would watch and share this video, so people stop saying its a great show, when its objectively not.

[@Glimare]

They insulted the audience of the movie and enraged the fans of the books in one swift move. Disney insulted everyone with their Fowl.

[@likelightning9653]

Disney is an insult. I lost interest as soon as I saw theyr logo. I didn't even have to ask or research the film to know it was going to be garbage

[@DemonicRemption]

@Gilmare After the Star Wars sequels, this doesn't surprise me...

[@ShibuNub3305]

Can’t we just call this one Diana Turkey or something like we did with the Peter Johnson movies?

[@Philocyb1n]

this could almost be a dad joke

[@sammygecko_]

You could say it’s... _Fowl_ play Ha

[@smakfu1375]

Never read the source material, never even heard of this movie. That said, from the other comments, it appears that this movie is not only absurdly terrible in its own right, but it's also a huge insult to the book it's supposedly based on. That's a pretty impressive accomplishment, that the studio, writers and director managed to create a movie so utterly loathsome.

[@zacross8504]

Yep. I would recommend the books if you like the general premise. Iirc the first 3 books have a comic book adaptation that’s what the movie should have done.

[@decadude8968]

Yeah. As someone who read the entire series and loved it, this movie is unbelievably insulting in just about every facet you can imagine. Even if someone hated the books, what they picture in their heads would be still a thousand times better than this movie.

[@800Ms-k6n]

I haven't even read the book, know nothing about the characters and i hated this movie. It has NO story, the exposition was so heavy handed to the point it treates all of us like we're dumbass as we couldn't figure things out of our one. Just about the movie finished it's first act i don't even know what this movie is trying to say cuz it looks like Disney tried to put so many things into a 90 minute movie, super short for a debut franchise of a popular book series. I hated this movie so much, not boring at all cuz i was mesmerized how awful this movie was

[@g.d.graham2446]

Indeed

[@portalgaming8057]

​@@decadude8968Well, Artemis Fowl isn't the worst thing I've ever seen or played. I think it's a 3/10.

[@fireshredder24]

The whole premise of the "fairies not being allowed in human dwellings without consent" is an artifact of the laws of magic established after a big war between fairies and humans. Also, the first book opens with Artemis in an alley in Vietnam, obtaining a copy of the fairy bible by extortion. This would have been a MUCH better opening, because it establishes the mastermind of Artemis, gaining him some respect, and introducing the character and abilities of Butler.

[@Ropetrick6]

It would also shows that he is a VILLAIN, rather than a (anti)hero, Artemis's whole arc is going from villain to eventually becoming one of the good guys, if a very ruthless one. Book 1: pure villain, pretty much no redeeming qualities. Book 2: villain, but with someone he loves. Book 3: villain(?), but willing to work to fix his mistakes. Book 4: More of an anti-hero, not doing anything against the fairies, and dedicated to beating Opal. Book 5-7 are pretty non-memorable for me, but it continues taking small steps. By Book 8 he's pretty solidly on the side of the good guys. Then here's Disneys arc: Movie(episode? who knows) 1: Kid who would do anything for his father -> Kid fighting against bad guy with the good guys -> kid becoming one of the good guys, all in under a day.

[@MadDogJake007]

Ugh thank you, they had one of the best opening scenes of a young adult novel at the time to work with. It perfectly establishes him as a sheltered somewhat sadistic child genius whose motivations are pure greed. They just threw it away damn.

[@omegalord777]

the problem with that is simple: artemis fowl is an *american* "family movie" so... you have artemis extorting a holy artifact from an alchoholic fairy in the slums of a vietnamese city, and curing her alcoholism with a supposedly agonizing biochemical reaction. oh dear. the level of NOPE here as far as hollywood is concerned is catastrophic. WAY too many things to piss off the activists.

[@JangoTheBlueFox]

I think I rember seeing clips from the scene in Vietnam in one of the early trailers. so I'm pretty sure they filmed it but decided "fuck it! lets simplify the plot by making it his father's journal" which makes no sense.

[@jasondiaz1448]

@@JangoTheBlueFox same, I remember seeing an early trailer and there being a very brief scene of the sprite temporarily getting her wings and flying up. All I thought was how showy and movie-like they made it, since in the book we don't see her get to enjoy her brief moment of wings

[@KJ-ud9uf]

Just read the book. Its a million times better and actually makes sense.

[@dededeletethis9940]

Can attest, the books are amazing

[@Nerdnumberone]

@@nathanielthomas2364 Well it isn't the same story at all.

[@booketoiles1600]

Let's be honest: even in the books the time freeze and they deal with it (by fucking sleeping) didn't make any sense.

[@lordwaffles4419]

I was let down by this. I loved the book when I was a kid, giving some hype just for Disney to take it away.

[@brandaccountname9833]

Nathaniel Thomas nope the book is very good and i recomend you read it it handles and creates suspense in a very good way and is the only YA fantasy book ive read recently that actually stands out and feels different from the others very very good book

[@toganium4175]

I know nothing about this film's source material, and I never even watched it, yet I still like watching people talk trash about it.

[@michaelstrong5383]

I know nothing about the books either, but I did see the movie and it is as bad as they said it was.

[@BainesMkII]

The people that made the movie seemingly knew nothing about the source material either.

[@zachcook3907]

​@@michaelstrong5383 The books are way better than movie.

[@OttoVonGarfield]

books are gewd, go red em.

[@games_on_phone89]

same are you guys telling me the film actually justifies the whole "phone bad book good" thingy bc it's that terrible?

[@EvelynCorvin]

I refused to watch the movie when I learned two things. One, Artemis being super active and skills physically when literal plot points originally hinged on him needing a body guard cause he barely manages not to trip over his own feet. And only uses his brain to save people while other people carry these out. Two, Artemis never started out trying to be any sort of good guy. He’s an asshole kid that wants gold. Period. His learning to be a better person through his escapades with the fairy people builds his character through a series. This is what made me love his character as a kid cause we got to watch someone with a real character arc. He didn’t change overnight but over years! They made this like a stand-alone with zero faith. And I’m mad. And with technology we have they just made so much of this movie comedic and terribly cgi. There were great moments in the book that were hilarious and deadpan. Not forced. Lastly…. Cause I could go on all day. Root should have been a man. Period. There’s a beautiful commentary on Holly overcoming sexism and Root being a behind the scenes cheerleader for her and it’s just lost. Sigh….. Please, read the books.

[@cara-seyun]

What was even the point of Root being a woman? Like they didn’t even bring up the theme of ‘Holly trying to live up to her example’ or anything It’s like the producers just *wanted* to trigger all the book fans

[@petermarais4168]

marvel got it right How do we know tony stark is a genius: "HE BUILT AN IRON MAN SUIT IN A CAVE... WITH A BUNCH OF SCRAP!"

[@TheMamaluigi300]

Funny enough, the same can be said for Marvel themselves and their cinematic universe

[@mar10ssj1]

@@TheMamaluigi300 Kevin Feige is a modern day story telling genius. The reason all other cinematic universes came and went is because they lacked his leadership.

[@The_Eldest_Millenial]

Artemis Fowl: "Well, I'm sorry, sir... But I'm not Tony Stark." XD

[@pritampaul2507]

@@mar10ssj1 yeah nahhhhhh......

[@radio-transmissions]

TheMamaluigi300 only some of them, which are normally the bottom of the barrel of the films. Most of the time the mcu doesnt talk down to its audeince. I wouldnt call it perfect or story telling genius. They just had a plan and a basic level of film making, with some exceptional and not very exceptional writters and directors

[@MayFlora]

The most insulting movie I’ve ever seen is a tie between Avatar the Last Airbender and Percy Jackson. Both adaptations that sadden me greatly

[@rcengineer]

I can name one worse than both: Seventh Son

[@KermitTheGamer21]

The first Percy Jackson movie is at least a good movie *if you haven't read the book*. The second movie and the Last Airbender movie were just garbage even without reading the book/watched the show.

[@pepperpumpkin989]

May I add another: seventh son, which was based off the Wardstone chronicles and failed dramatically with the story

[@rcengineer]

Pepper Pumpkin ah yes, Mother Malkin is totally an evil queen and not just a creepy child murderer buried in my backyard

[@TheBeccabus]

Don't forget about the Eragon adaptation...

[@corruptangel6793]

"No fairy is allowed to enter while I am alive." The reason the fairies can't enter without permission is because it's a fairy law. If a fairy enters a human dwelling without permission, then they lose their magic. And these aren't like man-made laws, these are laws of magic. This is a case of using dialogue from the book, without using the set-up or context from the book. The reason Artemis says that line is to make a trap, to urge the fairies into using their bio-bomb (the faires' ace in the hole) faster so Artemis can win faster since he knows how to escape the time field. A barrier even the faires think is inescapable.

[@kossend1]

Even in the book there is dialogue to explain it though. I think it's in Holly's intro in Italy when she's meant to call in Retrieval for a troll at a restaurant, but she disobeys Root to go into the restaurant herself by interpreting a child crying "help" as permission. That is used in the book to describe the concept with a bit of narration. This could easily have been tweaked to the movie to exlain it.

[@TheManBehindTheSlaughter6669]

LEP: lol lets nuke im Artemis: haha sleep pills go brrr.

[@sveanthesecond4564]

I think that was one of the biggest problems with the film as a whole - "using dialogue from the book, without using the set-up or context from the book". Several scenes came across as the actors for Dom and Artemis (no idea who played them tbh) just reading sections of the book, and then throwing us right back to badly written dialogue which doesn't match the style of sections ripped directly from the book

[@swishfish8858]

I haven't read the book and I figured that was the case, but this is a movie. It's different from the book. It needs to stand by itself. If you're going to rely on people's knowledge of the book to guide them through the movie, then why are you bothering to make a movie at fuckin' all?

[@thefinkie6459]

Yes, I know this, having read the book. But you can't just randomly throw in bits from the book without any explanation 😂 This film is an insult to both fans of the book AND those unfamiliar with it.

[@chrismartin1211]

Always refreshing to see someone review a book-adapted film, who clearly has no awareness of the source material. Genius

[@ribbonsofnight]

Yeah, a movie can be annoying because it doesn't keep to the source material but you can't really tell if the non-invested find it bad without one telling you

[@wamuelsoodward489]

This is quite possibly the worst adaptation I've ever seen. The maguffin (acculus) did not exist in the source material His father was kidnapped by the Russian Mafia, not any fairies and that is resolved in an entirely separate book. In the source material the first action Artemis takes is to steal a fairy's book, a copy of all laws a fairy is magically bound to follow. One of these laws is that any fairy who enters the home of a human uninvited has their magic revoked (not even police can break this rule because it's hard-wired into their biology). Having already lost his magic, the Dwarf suffers no consequences in breaking into the Fowl estate. Artemis's goal in kidnapping Holly Short was to obtain gold as a ransom expecting that the Russians would eventually make a ransom demand and knowing that the Fowl family is broke. So the actual root of the problem is that the movie tries to combine two completely different plots into a single story. Perhaps a better writer could have pulled it off, but this was the tragic result. Edit: Should also add that a KEY component of Artemis's character is that he is unathletic to the point that it's a miracle he can walk up a flight of stairs (slight exaggeration but you get the point). To have Artemis be a super genius, surfer, and combat expert as he is in this movie makes him something of a Gary Stu. And from a thematic perspective having Commander (Julius) Root being gender-flipped to female undermines Holly Short's character. In source material she is the first female in LEPRecon, something that many fairies are opposed to (fairies are rather sexist, which is one component of the general message that their society is flawed and their beliefs in fairy superiority over humans is hypocritical). Holly ends up neglecting to replenish her magic in part because she is trying to prove her toughness to everyone. Because her tank is empty Artemis and Butler have almost no difficulty kidnapping her. Having Commander Root also be female undermines this part of Holly's character taking away some opportunity for growth and believability.

[@lifeofentropy]

Its been a few years since i read the books so thanks for the refresher. Yeah the movie really was a awful adaption. Probably the only thing worse in percy Jackson and the sea of monsters movie

[@mozartpizza8287]

Damn right

[@cherry_leviathan5942]

I am pissed about LEPRecon HQ place thing I haven't read in a while but it is shown as some crazy huge safe haven for everyone. I always imagined it as like a small village kind of and thought of the main police place was like an actual government building like a city hall kind of. I haven't read the books in a couple of a years so don't judge my naming of things

[@kryswilkins8615]

And Butler didn’t even tell Artemis his first name (Domovoi) until the last book.

[@c2h680]

Butler tells Artemis his name in the third book. There are 5 more books after that.

[@sugargoblin7710]

I can’t believe Disney ruined a great series. Oh, wait- they’ve done that before.

[@brandaccountname9833]

Sugar Goblin they tried to take a complex supversive masterpeirce and dumb it down to something a 3 year old could understand

[@TheSlammurai]

COUGHstarwarsCOUGH

[@kethacox6530]

@@TheSlammurai I thought he ment percy Jackson

[@SuperNils666]

F in the thread for Star Wars please lads

[@ThylineTheGay]

nah that is all they do and we should all boycott disney

[@peterross97]

My daughter is a HUGE fan of the books. She was so excited for the movie to come out on Disney +. She didn't get halfway into the movie before she turned it off. We cancelled our disney + account right there and then. Sure, I'll miss the Mandalorian, but honestly, that's the only thing D+ had going for it.

[@ThMrksman]

Good on you for sticking to your guns.

[@thescruffinator8830]

and the clone wars season 7, which is even better than mandalorian honestly.

[@deepcitrus7023]

this reads like a netflix employee trying to astroturf

[@Jason-fm4my]

@Moros God of doom. Apart from the last two the others will be on amazon or youtube eventually.

[@Nick_J_]

That’s crazy, cuz I watched 1 Mandalorian episode and found it MEGALAME

[@FourOf92000]

Book Artemis is a brilliant mind with more than a bit of ill-gotten gains, and Butler, and tries to use his intelligence and his stuff to paper over his wounds and his immaturity and his physical frailty. (IIRC. It's been a while.) Movie Artemis is a Gary Stu.

[@chasehedges6775]

I'll give the movie this: The girl who played Holly Short is a really good actress. It felt like she was trying her best with what she was given, at least. She was at least expressive and emotional.

[@kaykutcher2103]

Whenever kid actors do a bad job I always blame the director. Children play pretend from pretty much day uno and give it their all whilst being insanely happy doing so. Therefore if one looks uncomfortable or stilted it's because somebody is restricting their imagination in creating this little fantasy they have.

[@Rosemaker_]

the kid who played artemis clown was so bad tho

[@TheOrnyx]

@@Rosemaker_ Artemis dropped his clown license again

[@johnnybartlett7967]

@@Rosemaker_ no he wasn't he was good

[@johnnybartlett7967]

Plus artimus was good

[@PrincessX-ke8tj]

Goddamn it, the book was so good. It was a high stakes game of cat and mouse, with Artemis in control the entire time. He was shown to be somewhat empathetic, but was ruthless in order to get what he wanted. He played mind games with his prey. He discovered the fairies himself, without any hints from his father. He was truly a mastermind, and I'm so pissed. They did him dirty.

[@bandit2613]

also the fact that in the books his father had no knowledge of the fairies and was abducted by the russian mafia

[@ApexGale]

>He beat a chess champion in 5 moves That's literally impossible. When a character touted as a genius literally has to break all realistic standards just to be considered a genius, you've made an extremely unrelatable character. Absolutely no renowned chess champion would be defeated in 5 moves unless they were delirious for a majority of the match. They literally could have just said he beat the champ at that age and already it's way better and more believable.

[@josephleisses3997]

It'd be more impressive to say that he was able to last 100 consecutive rounds against a chess master. That'd show Artemis as a child genius but still be able to improve and advance the character later on. After all, remember that most chess games at a professional level are over in about 20 moves, and if Artie stumped one for that long, we could be impressed.

[@dak_black]

To be fair that part was in the books too

[@ApexGale]

@@dak_black Yeah then the author clearly never watched professional chess. If the game ended in 5 turns then Artemis would have had to check the pro's king on turn 3 or so. Which again is literally impossible no matter what opening he makes. You cannot reach the king that early in the game, it's effectively not even a piece with any impact until ~8 turns in or around the time both players castle.

[@stonecake313]

Basically Mary Stu logic

[@jim42078]

@@ApexGale Could have been a scholar's mate. But it's still stupid.

[@centered5917]

I’ve read/listened to every book, they tell one of the best, most interesting stories I’ve ever heard. This movie shouldn’t even deserve its name.

[@Ragnadave]

I'm sick of movies and series saying "The world is ending" "The world is at risk" when the only thing they just show us a location. they fail to make me feel....worried, if thats how they're trying to make me feel.

[@johannfowl8653]

Plus, in the books, there is no world threat. Artemis kidnaps Holly so he can ask for a ransom and retrieve part of the money his dad lost.

[@generalharness8266]

In the books the world was not ending. He kidnapped Holly so that he could get rich.

[@mechamudskipper]

thanks, ark

[@nhmooytis7058]

Ragnadave well in 2020 the world really IS ending;). Happy Now?

[@ParanaHueTv]

@@nhmooytis7058 WTF?

[@louiscorona8465]

Can we talk about the fact that Artemis Sr. WAS IN THE MOVIE? LIKE, HE’S ALIVE, NO PROBLEM??? WHY ARE YOU HERE?? YOU’RE ASSUMED TO BE DEAD!!! WE SPEND ANOTHER WHOLE ASS BOOK SEARCHING FOR YOU IN RUSSIA!!!

[@Connor-jl9gq]

they mixed the first and second book which can work (just look at the amazing new Alex rider series) but in this case, it definitely didn't

[@PoIy178]

@@Connor-jl9gq hol' up there's an Alex rider series. Oh my God how did I now here of this

[@Connor-jl9gq]

@@PoIy178 yeah and it really good! They took the knowledge from the film that the first book doesn't really work in fuilm form so they combined book one and two and it really works! (So far at least I'm on episode 4)

[@panq8904]

He's here cuz Disney needed thirsty wine moms and fangirls in cinema seats and Farrell attracts them on the regular, which also explains his transformation from an Irish Gendo Ikari to a loving and supportive Papi.

[@gracepine1296]

@@Connor-jl9gq I really enjoyed the new Alex Rider series! They showed that you can combine books, add stuff, change stuff, and make an amazing tv series that the fans like

[@caddydonstans116]

Me: hmm should I watch Artemis fowl? Nah, I’ll just look at how bad it is from filmento

[@magiv4205]

Me with so many movies lmao

[@elplebeuchiha1996]

Same [+]

[@blindedjourneyman]

You picked the right choice. I want a time refund

[@MagillanicaLouM]

I never heard of it till internet ppl started trashing the movie and now im just enjoying the fire

[@YuoGah]

I read this like PewDiePie's Last of Us song, the one that goes "Should I order the game online, No I'll ride to the GameStop"

[@jaytrox4599]

It has been over a decade since i heard the audiobook. I have read the comments from people who know the book here and i have to agree with all of them. It felt like every single one of your "why do the characters act like this" questions can be answered with "bcz thats what happened in the books, although it made more sense there" I remember the book as one of my favorites back then. Eventhough my initial reaction to "a fairy tale" was somewhat offputting, it actually established a world with like- and believeable characters as well as a villain (Artemis) with a character arc and development. From what i remember, at some point in the book you are kinda rooting for both sides, which made the final resolve even more satisfying.

[@francislim3465]

fairies: we will save our kin by storming your house artemis: no fairies are allowed inside my house fairies: understandable. have a great day

[@herbertwalter8693]

Well in the books they cant enter a human house without permission because when they made their magic rules ages ago they saw humans as weak and dumb and wanted to protect them from ill intend

[@tdylan]

@@herbertwalter8693 But they would know that before trying to storm his house, right? They would have opened with "guy that can tunnel into house."

[@lordtoraxeus7663]

tdylan well in the book they initially sent in the dwarf, then tried to blow him up with a bomb literally (murder him). And it was only because he was expecting an attack that he survived.

[@3Rayfire]

"No fairies are allowed inside my house." Couldn't someone rules lawyer that into getting him to expel the fairy he's holding captive inside his house?

[@N0noy1989]

@@3Rayfire they had that lawyering thing actually in the book. Like how Artemis worded his forbiddance and they have it analyzed by fairy law experts how to construe it and work around it. But Artemis worded it in such a way that the loophole they thought they found was a trap. And what artemis said in the movie was not his words in teh book.

[@Dragon49600]

If Artemis is such a smarty pants then why the hell did he not think that there would be a safe behind a painting?

[@lordikkewas343]

B.. but there was a dwarf on the drawing

[@DA-lr3pc]

In the books, the whole painting safe was a power move. Artemis wanted the fairies to know that he knew all of their secrets. He didn't care if it got taken because he had a multitude of copies around the world.

[@RuleroftheSandcastle]

@@DA-lr3pc I honestly never saw it that way. I feel like if he wanted them to know it he would've just used a normal safe, and not the safe behind a safe shenanigans. Your view also makes some sense, but I never felt like he thought they'd find it.

[@grahams1939]

I assume that in the movie, he knew the safe was there, but didn’t know the combination himself, so he needed Mulch to open it for him

[@m1rsk4]

This is pretty much If Sherlock Holmes would just brag about his integelience but wouldnt solve any murders.

[@jge8144]

Yeah, that's a great point! I read the Classic Starts version, but didn't Sherlock do something like that in A Scandal in Belgarvia? Also, Edgar Allan Poe's The Purloined Letter did the same thing-the worst in his Augustine Dupin's short story trilogy.

[@spencer.eccles]

"My name is Sherlock Holmes, and I'm a--" "WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING IN MY HOUSE? I KICKED YOU OUT LAST WEEK!"

[@thesnorg1442]

his what now?

[@makaylalowe5640]

12:10 in the books they can't enter anywhere without having some type of invatation, if they do they basically get sick and their magic revolts. But in the movie they just expect everyone to know that, so to everyone who hasn't read the books...your are basically left out. It's so stupid,JUST USE THE BOOKS AS YOUR SCRIPT, ITS NOT THAT HARD!!!!

[@g.d.graham2446]

Indeed

[@thecyanpanda241]

Bro I thought that Percy Jackson had a shit adaptation, but looking at this, I think the the Percy Jackson film people did an okay job. (They absolutely did not!)

[@gunnihd6190]

In the books Artemis is a straight up bad ass genius. In the Film he's a little surfing kid

[@slevinchannel7589]

The White-Washing AND Black-Washing is astonishing. You cant tell me its all Coincidence - for that, its too much/many, isnt it??

[@FaithLuvUnbroken]

@@slevinchannel7589 you play minecraft

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@FaithLuvUnbroken What?? ?

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@FaithLuvUnbroken ?

[@ttracs]

@@FaithLuvUnbroken yeah and?

[@autongnosis33]

I think while your analysis of the "insult" part is spot on, I felt insulted in an entirely different way. Just like with Eragon years ago, they took the source material and took a mavvise dump with factory levels amounts of manure over it, rewrote story, character and the relationship dynamics by making all of them crap, and then printed out a shitshow of a movie that doesn't even deserve to be called that. I wouldn't even care if not for the fact that with this they ruined the chance to have proper movie adaptations of the Artemis Fowl saga...

[@VEVOsdead]

Man don't remind me of Eragon. We could've had such a huge film series based on the books, like H.P or LOTR, yet we got that giga garbage movie

[@Kato756]

Lets hope the Percy Jackson revival goes well, and the in like 3-5 years we get a good Eragon one, to then show our children in 10-12 years the good Artemis Fowl Revival

[@crazyolben_]

Kato756 Percy Jackson’s getting a revival?! Thank god! I really wanted the last two to do so well....

[@adnannaemaz1989]

They can always reboot or make it a show. Worked for the mortal instruments (somewhat)

[@3Rayfire]

Industrial Farm Level. Factories don't produce Manure. They produce pollution.

[@storiesofloveandadventure472]

Evil Genius Artemis Fowl broke Filmeto's mind when he was only 11. He realized by making a movie so stupid no one could get understand it, he would shatter his critics' minds once and for all.

[@crazysychoninja9193]

As funny as this is, in the books he does something similar with romance novels. He writes shitty romance novels, because he knows that people will eat them up, and sells them as someone else.

[@Hk-ox4bb]

It is so sad that the movie of the book that defined my childhood was so bad They turned the police chief into a woman which also neglected the whole point of Holly Short’s jurney

[@davidchidester5463]

Pretty sure Artemis never says, "I'm a criminal mastermind. in the books. He's arrogant, but not that arrogant. Lol.

[@alblaka8852]

The prime reason why the books are fun, is exactly because he doesn't need that kind of 'look meh is smart' grandstanding. He simply DOES things that identify him as criminal mastermind, i.e. the very first scene where a 10 y.o. goes full mafia boss on some random informant dude in Thai. Admittedly the book then throws in some exposition about what he has all done, but he constantly backs that up with actual action.

[@Lord_Numpty]

@@alblaka8852 It also shows he does his research (that Jon Spiro incident notwithstanding) in the very first chapter of the first book. He already has everything prepared and the all the knowledge he could possibly need. Of course, the characters, including the _Eurasian_ mountain of a man, also occasionally poke fun at his pomposity and arrogance, such as Holly calling him out for the aforementioned Jon Spiro incident and my personal favourite; 'Here we go, Holly. Are you ready?' 'Artemis! I'm the field agent here,' came the irritated reply. 'Stay off the band unless you have something to contribute!' 'I was just thinking...' _'I_ was just thinking you should change you middle name to _control freak.'_ Artemis glanced across at Butler, who was lying beside him on the verge and couldn't help overhearing the entire exchange. 'Control freak? Can you believe that?' 'The nerve of some people,' replied the bodyguard, without taking his eyes of the chateau.

[@TheManBehindTheSlaughter6669]

@@Lord_Numpty I really need to finish reading the series, I stopped after the one where artemis and holly go back in time to save a lemur from extinction in order to create some medicine with it.

[@matthewrabel5035]

@@TheManBehindTheSlaughter6669 Same

[@robotechgunpod]

@@TheManBehindTheSlaughter6669 With all due respect, the last two books undergo a massive change in tone. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like those two are part of the same series. Saying that however, there is exactly one twist that partially redeems the series in the last book.

[@necodragon]

Its such a shame, being a massive fan of the books and seeing this garbage just pisses me off

[@Fernando-ry5qt]

Did you saw Eragon's movie? The book's battles were so epic I imagined a lord of the rings- like scenario with a LOT of warriors, and they gave us shit.... The magic in the books was also a HUGE deal and on the movie was kind of just EFX and flashy stuff

[@TheSnivilous]

@@Fernando-ry5qt I was gonna comment the same thing! The Eragon movie was horrible and I loved the books.

[@Brohan97]

I love AF as a kid. Really disappointed with what they did with the movie

[@bazyl3357]

Why would you watch a movie based on a book at all if you have read the book? You either read the book or watch the film, you don't do both..

[@Fernando-ry5qt]

@@bazyl3357 Why not? I usually dont read books with my whole family nor my girlfriend for example...

[@Nexus_Hives]

Filmento's favorite song is Jack Sparrow by Lonely Island

[@astralflick]

Hey that’s my favorite song too

[@Willz828]

Urs isnt?

[@JamieSwitzer]

spooky, I was recently listening to that song.

[@yourkingreturns]

THE JESTER OF TORTUGA

[@hatuletoh]

Turns out Michael Bolton and Filmento are real big cinephiles.

[@ruairicorrigan3582]

12:10 - In the books, there was an interesting explanation to this; Fairies must be given permission to enter a human's residence, else they will lose their magical abilities. Fairies are then incapable of acting against a human's will while inside their home. The line "No fairies may enter this house while I am alive" bares a fair bit of weight (in the books) because A) Means no fairies can enter his residence, which leads to the introduction of my fav character Mulch Diggums (A criminal dwarf who lost his magical abilities long ago. Dwarfs have a fair few natural talents that they don't lose like unhinging their jaws to chew through earth/walls, lock-pick hair, etc) and B) Leads to the ending reveal that Artemis is alive after the clean-up crew enters to see if they can retrieve the ransom gold, whenever they then lose their magical abilities. That moment in the books was great fun, and its painful to see relics of my favourite childhood series in the horrific mistranslation that this movie is.

[@Jgt612]

The first and most glaring problem is trying to make Artemis the hero. He’s the protagonist but he’s not remotely heroic initially. At the end of the first book, he gives back half the gold he successfully ransomed so that Holly would cure his mother of her mental issues. That’s his only moment of altruism in the entire establishing entry in the series and even that is speculated by others who’ve interacted with him to just be a cover so social services don’t get involved. See that? How his motivation can be interpreted in more than one way? That’s nuance, someone PLEASE send that to the writers of the film.

[@GandalfReagge]

He isn't not just not a hero. He later becomes an anti-hero, but in the first book, while he is a protagonist, he is most definitely the *Villain*

[@merchantarthurn]

Honestly I could smell there was something up when it was revealed Root would be a woman. Usually I'd be like "Judi Dench as Root? Badass!" but Holly being the FIRST woman in the LEPRecon unit was a MAJOR reason why she ended up getting kidnapped - she was hyper scrutinised BY ROOT, who was her sponsor for being on the team and very hard on her as their 'trial run', and so couldn't admit she wasn't "running hot" on magic. Which leads to her running out of it, which leads to her being visible to humans when doing the ritual. I think they changed maybe everything they could about the characters though... hearing Butler be called "Dom", Artemis being like... an idiot... eyeyey

[@zombiefanatic4833]

He's kinda of a Lawful Neutral in the books.

[@iliakatster]

Someone should have sent the writers a copy of the book.

[@danieltaulbee9888]

@@merchantarthurn On top of all that, Holly being the first female recon officer makes her feel even worse for having gotten caught. Instead of being a hero to fairy girls everywhere, she thinks she's going to be remembered as the one who revealed the existence of fairies to the "mud men" and proved all of her sexist critics right. It's part of the reason she holds such a long-lasting grudge against Artemis even after they work together on later occasions; he caused her to feel like she had failed not only herself, but her race and her gender. Being the first woman in recon was VITAL to her character arc.

[@gayathrib9427]

I can almost hear book artemis saying " what do they think they're doing?" 😑

[@treatsntrinkets]

Conspiracy theory: book Artemis convinced Disney to make this movie so people would underestimate him

[@Mushao]

@@treatsntrinkets lmaoo

[@takahashi2852]

"The Earth is FLAT" "Where are your sources?" "Dude, Trust me"

[@slevinchannel7589]

This is like the Sherlock-TV-Series where still countless people are embarassingly convinced its a good show, even though KZbinrs, like 'Hbomberguy' have made whole Documentarys about it being objectively bad AND insulting to all Fans; kinda like Artemis Fowl and Last Airbender. ...I dont know... i just wished more people would watch and share this video, so people stop saying it's a great show, when its objectively not.

[@Scifogon]

“source: trust me bro”

[@hazeltree7738]

"The earth is flat" "Why don't you back that up with a source?" "My source is that I MADE IT THE FUCK UP"

[@captainmega6310]

@@slevinchannel7589 this is spam

[@RPGgrenade]

What's annoying is that most of these things that seem nonsensical are explained rather well and quickly in the books, so I have no idea why they didn't explain them or anything.

[@ribbonsofnight]

Interesting that it's the movie that tells rather than showing at every opportunity. It usually tells us the wrong thing at the wrong time though.

[@leeuwengames315]

even just narated it in their anoying way would have been better then not explaining indeed

[@watsonbones4741]

hey who would have thought that when adapting a book into a film you should probably adapt the BOOK into your FILM.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

It's like you have a test case/focus group of a few million people and then you do the opposite of what they liked. It's the low-risk part of an adaptation, you know that if only fans go see it, it will still be popular. Then why completely ignore the source material? Is it opposite time with Disney?

[@dakat5131]

@@AnnekeOosterink That's the weird thing about some of the things put out- sure there's always going to be divisive fans of stuff and you can't reasonably follow everything screamed out by them, but at the same time it should be possible to look and see what people are generally looking for. Not blunder through a film doing everything wrong and then being mystified that nearly no one liked it.

[@davidkendrick5192]

Ha ha ha, well said! I love the way you say it.

[@thewingedhussars6313]

Watson Bones , cries in Percy Jackson .

[@shacuras8201]

Anneke Oosterink it is caused by pure arrogance. "Yeah sure the book was successful I suppose, but we're Disney, surely we know better. We know what a good story is really like"

[@LuciferSpiro1993]

Artemis is the villain for the first book, he kidnaps a cop for ransom. Thats it. Find cop, take cop, demand gold, hold off against swat team, get gold, gives half gold back for magic healing of his mother, get to keep remaining gold because of magic rules (fairy's have 24 hours or must give up/lose magic). In bok 2 and onwards Artemis is an antihero, on a slow redemtion arc, but at best it's the fifth book when he is "good" if villainous. And please tell me he diagnosed the chair as a fake? If he didn't, in the book the psychology guy is proud of his antique chair, which Artemis points out is held together with screws that prove it is newer than claimed.

[@jessicaable5095]

That scene was in the movie (the one with the chair). We get to find out from the doctor that Artemis' mother suffered the disney curse of being dead before the start of the movie. WTF DISNEY!

[@cronchycatmom]

It's in the movie. It's also the only scene I could stomach before I noped out of Disney trying to ruin my childhood

[@slevinchannel7589]

The White-Washing AND Black-Washing is astonishing. You cant tell me its all Coincidence - for that, its too much/many, isnt it??

[@spiritualanarchist8162]

also....Can't they find a kid that looks sly & smart instead of 'Hollywood cute'

[@AnnoyingAsianWitch]

His granddaddy is an actor, pure nepotism.

[@carlcarlington7317]

So... minus from shark boy and lava girl?

[@doroza2lol]

That does not work with pedo hollywood.

[@Ms9999Christina]

Five from umbrella academy?

[@NIHIL_EGO]

@@AnnoyingAsianWitch I don't see how's that nepotism.

[@jacobwondolowski4096]

"You can't break and enter!" "Why?" "Because I live here...? Duh."

[@slevinchannel7589]

This is like the Sherlock-TV-Series where still countless people are embarassingly convinced its a good show, even though KZbinrs, like 'Hbomberguy' have made whole Documentarys about it being objectively bad AND insulting to all Fans; kinda like Artemis Fowl and Last Airbender. ...I dont know... i just wished more people would watch and share this video, so people stop saying its a great show, when its objectively not.

[@rainmanslim4611]

I loved the books as a teenager. This movie was a disgusting insult to the source material. Percy Jackson fans... I feel you now.

[@Jul-fu4yu]

Avatar fans also understand your pain

[@wilczus222]

@@Jul-fu4yu What are You talking about? Avatar never had a movie adaptation.

[@Chromecat14]

Trusting good that you don’t know there’s one

[@jaredfrancis5062]

@@wilczus222 there was. Though it was just called The last Air Bender

[@felixeisenmenger1914]

@@jaredfrancis5062 It's a joke to pretend it doesn't exist because it's so bad.

[@hydrowan]

Shouldn't so many glaring issues, in essentially the screenwriting, have been flagged up before they spent the ludicrous budget on realising it...??

[@catharticcrow2572]

Cocky studio. Also film writers thinking that the general audience are all morons

[@kyotheman69]

yah but Disney hires SJW trash, of course this got green lighten,

[@DonVigaDeFierro]

They don't care. After all, people are already paying their Disney+ subscriptions.

[@ambidexterity1]

Ideally yes. Unfortunately it's very common that many higher ups in the entertainment industry are complete morons.

[@legrandliseurtri7495]

@@kyotheman69 This movie had nothing to do with sjw lol. Not everything can be attributed to a group you don't like.

[@garethbaus5471]

In the book Artemis sortove was a villain who tricked an alcoholic who he suspected might be a fairy into giving him a book that he decodes which gives him a lot of information allowing him to capture Holly to hold for a ransom of gold while defending the mansion from invasion. He becomes a sortove antihero in the later books. Still better than the Eragon movie.

[@revimfadli4666]

And at least people remember that Artemis' & Eragon's movies exist. A Wrinkle in Time, on the other hand...

[@ImEliBuck]

There’s an Eragon movie!?

[@garethbaus5471]

@@ImEliBuck yes, it is one of the worst movies I have seen, and was clearly written as a shameless money grab.

[@EridianBlue]

@@garethbaus5471 Dragon ball evolution, death note the movie and avatar the last airbender : "allow us to indroduce ourselves" eragon is 100% ok once you've seen the cursed trinity

[@joshuachristensen9731]

they even filmed those scenes for the movie, but decided to change the plot and left it out...

[@juliusrosethorne9798]

Fun thing, artemis isn't in anything remotely resembling an action scene in the book. Everything action related is left for Butler to do (which he btw doesn't know is named Domovoi, Butler only reveals that when he is dying later in the series). Artemis is most of the time in the control room with the camera monitors.

[@Cailus3542]

I mean, Artemis does have one very satisfying action scene, when Holly gives him a much-deserved punch to the nose. His reaction ("lollilop") is terrific.

[@simonwyzik8661]

I’d be surprised if he shot a gun more then 3 times

[@kardnails8729]

I mean, he does get asthma attack when climbing a ladder.

[@animatedbirdcarcass]

@@Cailus3542 lol and the fact he chides himself because the lollipop reaction wasn't criminal mastermind like

[@janmikulic434]

To be fair later in the books he does Use a Gun couple of times

[@somakdutta9838]

This is what happens when you adapt a book without reading it first. Even a Wikipedia summary of the book will cover many of the movie's plot holes.

[@onodatboi9041]

Butler is literally described as a eurasian man, Root is a dude, we never meet Artemis' dad until way later and Artemis is already a child criminal genius at the start of the first book. I want death.

[@barghestblue731]

TBH Butler being black IS forgivable his race was never all that important, the rest though, yeah

[@firebug3256]

@@barghestblue731 What's hilarious is that the only reason Disney made Butler black was to add "diversity" to the cast but they are still criticized for using negative black stereotypes (big scary black man + black manservant) And his race is important because Butler's family has been bodyguarding the Fowl family for centuries. The Fowl family have been criminal masterminds in Europe for centuries. Both of these facts establish a lot of backstory and history for the characters that have been entirely washed away to meet diversity quotas.

[@barghestblue731]

@@firebug3256 How does the butler family being black wash away the backstory? and it's more like the movie doesn't have the backstory in the first place, so

[@barghestblue731]

@@firebug3256 No, I read your comment, just didn't realize you were implying that it was impossible for anyone not white to exist in Europe before, what, 100 years ago?(what timeframe are you using for when Black people are allowed to exist in Europe? Shakespeare times? They did. Medieval times? They did. Roman times? They did.) Black people were not unheard of in Europe, they were just rare. In the books Butlers only ethnic description is Eurasian, which could mean anywhere from Britain to Vietnam, it was never focused on or important, he was never said to EUROPEAN, it seemed to mostly be implying the family originally came from the area around Russia/Greece/the middle east. Yes they were IN Europe, but that doesn't preclude them from being Black, the more specific physical descriptions did portray them as White with blonde hair and blue eyes, traits that also aren't exclusively European (except for the skin tone and even then exceptions exist), but they were in Europe for centuries so even if they didn't originate there some traits would have mixed in. His origin and ancestry never mattered, just that his family had been in service to the Fowls for centuries. His family possibly being the origin for the word Butler also could imply that they didn't originate from anywhere close to the British Isles, since if they had then they would have been named after their profession, not the other way around. Making Root female ruined several plotlines and characterizations, making the Butlers Black doesn't change anything other than their physical descriptions, and background details that never impacted the story all that much if they ever did at all.

[@AGOGOATHOTH]

​@@firebug3256 my guy there are tapestries from the 1500's depicting black people in Europe. There are multiple records of people with mixed European and African ancestry as early as then. And no, the term Eurasian is not exclusively used for Slavic people, really not sure where you're getting that from. "The term was originally used to refer to those who are now known as Anglo-Indians, people of mixed British and Indian descent. In addition to British many were also of mixed Portuguese, Dutch, Irish or, more rarely, French descent." A cursory google search shows most of what you've said obsolete, and more in-depth research fairly conclusively proves you wrong, so again, really not sure where you're getting your information from. Then again, you're out here making reaches like calling Blue a 'marxist' for....saying Butler being black isn't as significant as a change as uh...undermining literally everything about Root's character.

[@theendersmirk5851]

In the original, it was explained that fairies who enter a home uninvited lose their magic, so they hired a dwarf who already had lost his magic to do it for them. I haven't watched the movie, and I already can tell they forgot a lot of details if they never mentioned that.

[@a.randomguy950]

I think it was losing access to their magic and getting violently ill and that Mulch didn’t count as a fairy and had no magic since he was a dwarf so he wasn’t effected by the rules. But it’s been years since I read the books so I might be wrong.

[@senbontorii2680]

@@a.randomguy950 Mulch lost his magic by breaking into houses, which implies that if the fairies stayed they could lose their magic permanently too. It is precisely because he is a thief that he was chosen to break in, rather than a dwarf who was more reliable.

[@ramsesbams]

so the dwarf could have just broken a window to get in? got it

[@theendersmirk5851]

@@ramsesbams Theoretically, yes, but Butler was so dangerous in the books that he could 1v1 a troll with no fairy weapons, so that would be tantamount to suicide. Besides that, he burrowed into the wine cellar in the book so that he could sneak in undetected, and then got greedy and went for the second floor of the house.

[@gray2790]

I don’t think any movie has ever filled me with this much rage

[@gmailquinn]

2010 the last airbender. Hint: we all try to forget it exists

[@ok-bs1dx]

Mulan 2020?