First Time Hearing Popular Monster by Falling In Reverse | Suicide Survivor Reacts

[@MentalAmanda]

I am so grateful to have this video sponsored by BetterHelp. To receive 10% off your first month of customized online therapy with a license counselor, visit www.betterhelp.com/amandawebster 💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we break the mental health stigma. 💖

[@stevenwalser3378]

Please do #Freepression (Suicide Prevention) by Mesus. This is a powerful song that has been out awhile, but needs a reaction from a legit channel!

[@Redneckwoman38]

I'm so excited to see that you done this song. I also recommended it via an Instagram dm. I loved your interpretation of the song.

[@connorlong7283]

When you talked about that dark passenger I related to that because I have connected to my "monster" and even named him ( I used that because I feel like it is another hidden part of you)

[@leohilander7127]

Can you do a reaction video on the song Chop suey by system of a down?

[@ghostrazgriz1_blaze359]

Along the vein of one segment of this video at about the 8 minute mark is a song by Mike Waters : I'm doing fine. It's one that is worth giving a listen to. Additionally, you've done a couple Citizen Soldier songs prior but one, I don't see a lot of reactions around for, is "If I Surrender". There are a few things you've reviewed that I would like to give some input on, if you are willing. But otherwise, I hope you get a chance to check out these two tracks. They can hit a little closer to home than is comfortable, but it's helpful to know that at least someone has tried to put them into words.

[@SparkimusPrime]

That’s his real daughter, Willow. She’s in a few of his videos. She’s what keeps him grounded. In the video she brings him out of his “monster” form. Him looking around at the destruction he just caused is always heavy. I really needed this today. Thank you 🖤

[@shalom_christiyan]

I see your comments on every falling in reverse reactions 😹

[@the_cruz_shooter]

@@shalom_christiyan Every damn one of them. 😅

[@brettash7640]

Yes!!!!

[@joeyx2savage110]

​@@shalom_christiyanapparently your in all the comments of em too 🤣 just joking with you.

[@Corwin10291978]

I’ve watched so many reacts to this and you’re the only one who keyed to “Every single ffff day I get closer to the grave, I am terrified” and honestly it’s the line that absolutely cuts me to pieces

As someone who has dealt with SERIOUS depression... I really loved that you said "depression does not equal sadness"... I'm currently on Prozac and that's helped A LOT with my intrusive thoughts... That's my biggest problem. I'm not "sad", my brain is just BROKEN, and I get all kinds of CRAZY ass thoughts... It's REALLY GREAT for someone to be talking about mental health like you were in this video!!🙏🙌🙏

[@thomascardone4786]

The 2 lines that always hit me the hardest are "I crashed my car just to feel again" and "falling into love with falling apart"

[@briansgamesandanime]

The little girl at the end was his real life daughter. I know he was in jail at some point and struggled with mental health issues but his daughter and his current girlfriend helped him break out of his alcohol and drug addiction. Falling In Reverse has quite a few more songs that you really need to react to. I'm Not A Vampire Revamped (which features his girlfriend in the music video) and Zombified which has more to do with cancel culture.

[@MikkoRantalainen]

I'm Not A Vampire Revamped should considered a short movie instead of just a music video.

[@K1ng1995]

I honestly am glad he acknowleges how he hurt Willow's mother with his drug use and his cheating and he openly admits if he could have done things differently he would have

[@chrissharp55]

I'm Not A Vampire Revamped is about addiction. Definitely worth a listen.

[@escottclevengerSB2024]

I'm a big fan of your channel, and really found your reaction to this fascinating (though I expected nothing less.) Your take on the courtroom and the term "Popular Monster" were VERY insightful and something I had never thought about before. This song hit me hard when it came out and the more I listened to it, the more I caught. The message I take out of it really relates to what I experienced in my late teens and early twenties. The main chorus "I'm a liar, I'm a cheater, I'm a non-believer, I'm a popular monster." reminds me of the struggles I had telling people about my depression. Every time I tried I was met with "Oh, it can't be as bad as you are saying..." (I'm a liar) or "You're just making an excuse..." (I'm a cheater) or "Well, if you went to church more..." (I'm a non-believer). It was like everyone in my life had an easy and popular reason to dismiss my strugles. I was in fact... a Popular Monster. And it caused me to hide that part of me, which almost ended me. That makes the line "What if I were to lie, and tell you everything is fine, every single day I grow closer to the grave... I am terrified" hit me SO hard. I was inching closer to suicide every day, and no one would listen and I was scared to death. Luckily I eventually found the right help, and now I'm in my forties equipped with the proper tools to fight my depression. Keep up the GREAT work on your channel!

[@MentalAmanda]

I am SO SO happy that you fought through that and didn't let people who just don't understand drag you under 💖

[@Codenomics_ACTL]

This song... I heard this song for the first time and it felt so personal to me, didnt know why, didnt really understand the song just listened to it musically and not what he was talking about. After a few times through i realized that it felt so personal because the song could have been written about me. The uos and downs of depression i pretended i didn't have for most my life. I live that the song follows arcs that people mentally follow when dealing with this... Build up, then it just chills out then build up then chills and then just explodes suddenly and unexpectedly.

[@adammoore7520]

I feel this song so deeply, PTSD from military with some severe depression. He really goes through the many different ways depression affects people.

[@SpartanW0lf]

This song was/is such a big help after some of my darkest days. Transitioning from military to civilian life proved to be extremely difficult for me. I sunk into darkest of places. Acted out of character, with no regard to anyone/anything. Even contemplated doing the unspeakable. When consequences of my actions inevitably blew up in my face, I was forced to make a change. I heard this song few months after that and resonated with me because it put what I was feeling into words what I never could. I still have my dark days/moments, but for the most part, I’m out of that mindset. This song was a big help

[@MentalAmanda]

I am so grateful for your sacrifice and so happy that you are finding healing 💖

[@demoncleaner80]

Man, this song gets me hard. The buildup, and that line, "Every single fucking day I get closer to the grave, I am terrified"... makes me tear up every time. Just the desperation in the delivery of it and relating to it. I _AM_ terrified sometimes, and I feel like that isn't something that is talked about much when discussing depression. Anyway. I always really like your reactions. Keep going. (Also I'm still litening to your commentary at the end: I can completely relate to your lack of believing and faith. It's not a rebellious thing just like you said. There's just nothing there inside.)

[@dakotalynde1913]

This song really hit me hard when it was released. I wasn't in a good head space at the time and really I reflected on the song thinking I became a monster closing myself into my depression because I wouldn't go and talk to anyone about anything. But ultimately I think I realized that wasn't healthy and then started opening up about whatever was going on. Music really connects to me in more ways than I thought were possible

[@codyedwards8874]

loved your react to this. i love this song. and it hits me hard. i've gotten better over the years but i've been through alot. mentally and substance abuse both. i'm glad i got through it. and i understand what you were saying about kinda closing yourself off...

[@padan75]

Thank you Amanda! I've asked that you react to this song, among many others I'm sure and I am glad you did! Thank you for your comments on the praying. I connected with this song 100% as soon as I heard it! Thank you for what you are doing and I will always continue to watch your videos and listen to your stories and advice! It means a lot!

[@cdubs6706]

Been going through as many "react" views of this particular song to see if I'm crazy and you've nailed the concept. I cant express how frustrating it is to catch a line that hits home and they pause it to talk about something they actually missed. Thank you and please keep up the work! Creators take note, listen to the song with as few interruptions as possible (DONT ANALYZE EVER SINGLE BAR) to the actual song and -then- break down your feelings because 90% of us are HERE because we want to feel validated, not entertained. /rantoff

[@nivision]

thank you for this one. I had heard it but not really listened before. and for all of your work. (had a longer message written up, till my cat decided to jump on my computer and deleted it, but... heartfelt feels here.)

[@Hana0nana0]

I've been waiting for this for sooo long. this song means A LOT to me and I can relate to it in many levels.

[@Defensive_Wounds]

8:37 - These lyrics - "I am terrified, I fell asleep at the wheel again, CRASH my car just to FEEL again. it obliterates me, disintegrates me annihilates me".... I have felt those urges. So relatable!

[@insidethemachine]

Glad to see you’re still making reactions. I love falling in reverse.

[@Jjoker74]

Not very often you get the video, the music, and the lyrics to all fit perfectly together. It really drives the message home. The line "Falling in love with falling apart" is a great line.

[@dizzylyfe6836]

Everything you've said is so true! I battle with my brain every single day and it's so exhaustive! I love what you stand for! Keep doing what you do and you're so very beautiful! I wish you the best!

[@headphones2006]

Beautiful reaction as always. A lot of reactors miss the line that hits me the most, which is “Crash my car just to feel again” but you had a reaction to it. I know what it feels like to feel like I’m just walking around like a zombie and might start an argument with the person I love most or snap at them just to know I’m still feeling something. Thank you for seeing that just for that little moment you did

[@AuslanderVet]

Just recently found you, and OMG the insight! This song speaks volumes to me. The cycle of depression and PTSD is very similar to this video. You want something/someone to hold on to or at least understand, and you get "It will get better" or "I'll pray for you" or worse they start backing away and avoiding you. You cling onto any small hope of light just to be hurt over and over again to the point you just give up and fall in love with falling apart because it's all you have left. The "monster" to me is representative of when the demons destroy what's around you, or the inner rage gets to a point where you want to lash out at every person that tells you it's temporary, and get over it

[@Leo-dw3fr]

I love how sincere your reactions are. Even tho we are so fat apart I feel a good vibe when I watch your videos. . I feel your emotions and gives me goodbumps when ever you get emotional.. love your videos. . Falling in reverse is a group that I would take to my grave. Ronnie radke's voice is forever in my heart. He disects it like no other artists has ever done.

[@joeybee1914]

Mental Amanda makes me happy when I am notified you have new videos.

[@davidtanguma6247]

Great reaction my friend!💕

[@anigma4788]

I love your interpretation of these kind of videos! I am always amazed how much of an understanding people can get from being through some stuff. It is one of the things I see positive about mental problems. Once you break the spiral that goes downwards you will be granted so much personal strength and knowledge about your life. I would suggest and love to see your reaction to the song "I Prevail - breaking down". It is about a person that deals with depression and how the common struggles in their head forms the typical suffering. Very similar to popular monster. I love it! :) Greetings and Love from Germany!

[@shadowfox2120]

I can relate to the praying for a solution and feeling nothing. I was raised evangelist and do believe there's something out there but had to make a decision that I was going to have to do something myself because no matter how much I prayed nothing ever changed. I will say that I grew comfortable in my chaos and the first time my life wasn't in crisis I felt incredibly uncomfortable because I wasn't used to it so I would inject some chaos into my life. I didn't enjoy dealing with the crisis in my life but it felt so familiar that I'd feel better if that makes any sense.

[@PandaMidianMusic]

I love your channel and your mission. The word needs more music that helps with mental illness and awareness of such. Music that acts as therapy and acts as a healthy conduit for which to channel our emotions. Thank you for bringing attention to the many conditions that are blanketed under the title of "mental illness". For my own escape from the "well", I began composing instrumental music that helps me with my own demons and seems to help others as well. Thank you!!!

[@shadeknyt4722]

seeing your reaction when ronnie saw his daughter at the end of the music video made me wanna hug you through the screen

[@the_flash_v9840]

I think the best way to define the difference between being sad and being depressed is that when you are sad you know their is an end to it and eventually you know things will be okay. When you are depressed, you don't see an end, a way out, a system of support that works for your situation. You feel voiceless and that no one can do anything to change that. The longer a person is depressed the more that person convinces themselves that they are stuck, its a perpetual loop that is really tough to break out of in order to make that positive change that eventually breaks the cycle.

[@KrisThroughGlass]

Great reaction and interesting thoughts about the message. Greetings from Germany

[@djevikv570]

Love all your videos. As someone that has been dealing with mental issues. For the past 3

[@KoRn_NuTT]

Everytime I watch your videos and listen to what you say I relate with you 100% it's like you're saying what is in my head

[@craigholt9571]

Love your reactions and your experience and explanations are nice. It's hard to reason with yourself when you're down

[@davidgaps6589]

A message to all of Amanda's s supporters. Many of us have a lot to thank Amanda for with all her support. I would love to see some support shown back to her. KZbin looks at views and likes when it post videos for recommendations. Please make sure you like her videos. As well as try watching, and liking, her vlogs. I think you may even discover some advice or suggestions to help in your daily life. At least you may see that you are not alone in some of your issues and struggles. Let's help her, and also help her to help others as well as us. Thank you for the support, and thank you for making this community all the better with your presence.

[@jrestrada6232]

This song has helped me more and more I listen to it , I go thru this problem on a daily basis to we’re people and family call me a monster all the time and it hurts and sucks but I try and this video has hit a spot in my heart

[@MentalAmanda]

www.amazon.com/Love-Monster-Rachel-Bright/dp/0374346461

[@rawkmode6315]

The room he keeps appearing in, the one where he looks out through the blinds and sees people coming, is the mental space he's trapped in while he's blacked out and transformed into the monster. When Willow appears while the monster is taking out the SWAT team, that's essentially his safe anchor self telling him to wake up and opening the door to the room so that he can regain consciousness.

[@Red_Ring_Of_Death]

OMG! @mental amanda Ronnie from Falling In Reverse reacted to your reaction! That’s so awesome!

[@Kate-tx6qn]

I love your Falling in Reverse reactions! I hope you do more of them in the future.

[@SFPM01]

I too faced that problem of denial, being told it's just a phase and everyone encounters it sometimes, when I tried to talk to the social worker in my school. Luckily some people in my year noticed my change in behaviour and now I am on the way back to the light. Metal actually plays a big role in my process of escaping as well, i got into metal about two years ago, my descent began last year after a breakup of a relationship that had already saved my life before but was then running out of true feelings. Metal gave me the power to fight my inner monster, I believe I wouldn't be alive any more if I didn't have the music pushing me.

[@frankysonic6887]

I like your videos and reactions, I see you feel the music and this is good. I also like your fight against depression and mental illness, it´s a good thing you do. Keep on with that and to everyone who is struggeling, seek help. love Franky

[@jaksilver3656]

I've seen and heard this song more than 100 times, and EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. it brings me to tears... "It's not a fucking phase, I JUST WANT TO FEEL OK". Not great, not happy, not even good, just OK. Instead of spending every waking moment fighting my own head and waiting for the day I can finally REST...

[@xDarkTrinityx]

I think this is one of the best and most meaningful songs they've done. They do some fantastic songs, don't get me wrong... but this ones just feels like it can speak to so many people and is relatable. A lot of his other songs are clearly about his life and his past struggles with addiction, jail, losing a brother, mom leaving, haters, etc. but Popular Monster feels like a more generalized song. I have to say it's still my favorite they've done so far, but they always release bangers so I'm excited to see what comes next

[@MightlovemyselfAutistic]

It is one my favourite song by falling in reverse. This song has helped my recovery from Drugs and alcohol. And my mental health. I’m still healing from mental health and I’m fighting everyday.

[@MentalAmanda]

Proud of you! You're a superhero!

[@sonofthesea3298]

I remember when i was a kid,being a relentless victim of bullying,the teachers would ignore it with lines like "we never saw any bullying,so we just think that "John Doe" was just tired of school". Some of the teachers were my withnesses to me being attacked outside,but they just turned theyr backs to it. This was not freshly educated teachers,but teachers so long in the profession that they should have retired to be honest. And some of the teachers were actually bullying themselfs,to a point where i found a friend crying back in the boys locker room..... We took it to the principals office as a unit,filing a complaint on it. The principal seemed like abit of a prick,he thought we overreacted and were being dramatic,but promised to look into it. Our main teacher (wich turned out to be besties with the accused teacher) gave us the worst overhaul when we came to class. And it got brushed under the carpet.....like nothing happened. Some years later,the kids of my Uncles also suffered from bullying,and new complaints and parents being furious surfaced. The teachers finally got retired and brand new teachers were hired in. Even a brand new principal,the no F`s given kind. So they finally got a chokehold on the ongoing bad behaviour... But it took alot of pain,alot of suffering from several generations before things got done,before people realized that "Oh,they werent wrong back then,the complaints that came in should have been taken seriously". I knew that as a kid,when another kid cried or told me something,it was mostly the truth. Because kids have no filter..... they tell it like it is. This month has been very special for me,i realized that not only it being moms birthday once more,but its actually 20 years since she was torn away from me. We discovered the cancer so late,that she got torn away from me not fully 2 weeks after we found out. No wonder my shock was as brutal and longlasting as it was. And i still feel on the sorrow when i think back..... One song that really helped me getting through this month was Delain - April Rain. Ever heard of them? Theyr lead singer (Charlotte Wessels) is a fellow Dutchess with Floor Jansen (and good friends),and her voice is absolutely wonderful (she is quite gorgeous too,i have a feeling Dutch women fell into a well of beauty from birth,or its something in theyr water over there lol) I think you would love theyr sound,knowing that you enjoy Nightwish soo much. Tried looking for some way of maybe adding that song with a tip or something,but couldnt find one. I know about your patreon,but i dont know how that works completely,and what level of patreon i need. So i layed it abit to rest,but i do suggest them as a band for you. Theyr lyrics can very much be related to mental health,maybe mostly in a positive way. The keyboardist is actually the little brother of one of the guitarists in Within Temptation. They sadly broke up in the early state of the pandemic,but the keyboardist (also the founder of the band) remains still,trying to keep doing Delain music,already having plans of future albums being with artists they have collabed with over the years,and that list is pretty impressive. One of them being the Queen of growls,Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy. Speaking of Arch Enemy,they have a song called Reason To Believe,wich was a song written to theyr fans that sent them heartfelt letters,or told them heartfelt stories of them struggling with mental health issues. And abit of the band members own youth,where they suffered themselfs. I believe that song will be good for your channel. Both Delain and Arch Enemy are known to not get blocked alot,so you should be safe reacting to them as well. I try to steer away from bands/artists that gets channels striked. "Mental Amanda" threw me off abit...i was like "wait....what? Who`s thi errrm OOOH,it is Amanda?!" 🤔

[@MentalAmanda]

This month is the anniversary of losing my dad, next month is the anniversary of losing my mom. I get it. I still cry sometimes too. I hope that you find a way to connect with her love. We're here for you as you navigate the month 💖

[@malefikgamer5446]

HUGE fan of Falling in Reverse and I thought I would not like them but WoW are they amazing. If you have not I would recommend checking out the Trilogy "Losing My Mind", "Losing my Life" and "Drugs" and also "Zombified". Another amazing review and love the analysis from a mental health view point.

[@CostaECosta98]

Id reccomend the song "pray" by jxdn. It made me tear up a bit, never happened to me to have that reaction with any other song before. It talks about suicide in a pretty straightforward way

[@brittk3881]

Ronnie would so appreciate your reaction. Keep an eye out because he likes to react to people reacting to his music and videos. Man has definitely been through the wringer. Awesome reaction 👌

[@coltoncarr7826]

Just recently found your channel and it's really helping me figure out and understand what's going on in my head. A lot of the songs you have reacted to I have on a playlist that helps me explain what's going on in my head and how I am feeling. A band I think you should check out is Wage War, specifically Gravity both original version and the acoustic, the acoustic brings out more emotion. Their second album, Deadweight, is the album I listen to the most because all of the songs have literally broke me down to tears because I have a difficult time putting my feelings and thoughts in to words.

[@Hicks-g1m]

I've never heard of this song before Amanda but I can relate to what you're saying

[@Thumpster59166]

I hate it when people tell me not to bottle it up and just let it all out. They have no idea how impossible it is to flip that switch off once it gets turned on. Especially when I dissociate.

[@ronneville7614]

In the beginning of the song, he also states that he is struggling but says every min is closer to a moment he won't take. That means suicide

[@Rei-Shei0993]

recently started watching you, awesome vids!

[@socksandpi1264]

The unadulterated, seething rage of feeling like you're too far broken to ever be whole again. That's how the song hit me, and the way depression is in my life. It's getting better, but I'm far from whole.

[@MentalAmanda]

You absolutely are whole!

[@GaiusM89]

I haven't listened to this song in a while, but it made me tear up again. Really a great analysis of the song, depression as a whole and everything...can't say I've been through it myself, so I can't even imagine what it's like apart from what friends have told me who have had it. Concerning belief and praying, it's a complicated thing and most of the time not just a switch + definitely not a way to get God to do something. From my perspective, spending time in prayer, singing worship and just being with other likeminded people has kept me going through anything and even away from a lot of things that could have happened otherwise. It's kind of like a water of life, while also a cliff to hold on to. Other christians accusing and saying stuff like "You must not be faithful enough" or "you're doing it wrong" or whatever often don't actually know the struggle. Everything comes when it's the time for it and not by our will, but by His. Your reaction and talking about your experiences just made me want to try to encourage and maybe inspire in some way - never lose hope! And to people who put you or anyone else suffering from the same things down, screw em - love others as you love yourself.

[@Red_Ring_Of_Death]

That was an interesting portion when you talked about when people ask, “Are you okay?” I always just put on the happy mask because I don’t want to feel like I’m burdening anyone with what I’m dealing with.

[@MentalAmanda]

You're never a burden to us here in the community 💖

[@Red_Ring_Of_Death]

@@MentalAmanda Thank you Amanda. Your videos have saved me more than a few times.

[@paulierosenbaum8213]

Girl I really do hope you are working towards getting your license for therapy and mental health. That's of course if you want it. But you are great. Keep being you and keep on keeping on. I always look forward to your posts. 👍💕

[@MentalAmanda]

I would love to, but currently it is just all me and my experiences. No training!

[@paulierosenbaum8213]

That alone makes you a master inn your trade. 👍

[@lord_chaos_404]

Song is the best description of how I battle with bipolar. Sometimes you wakeup with no idea of what you did, even with 0 alcohol

[@beezle1976]

7.40-ish is something that I really battle with. My family has basically abandoned me. They only interact with me when they want to belittle me so they can feel better about themselves. It reached a point where I just dont tell them anything and mostly keep away. Not because I want to, but because they have me so tied up in knots with their antagonism that I just tell them what they want to hear. I stumbled across a song by machinehead recently called "Behind The Mask", and there's a verse in it that brings me to tears nearly every time. Not because of the depression, but because there's a weird sense of relief that Im not alone in the world, even if Im very alone in my world. "The old man sits alone staring at the screen And contemplates the failures, done to his family 'Cause depression's bottles come along and fills his whiskey glass With every sip put to his lips, erases all the past So he tells another little lie and tells another tale In hopes to spare the family and hide his private hell But the more the words come out of him, like little cuts and scabs Tearing at the tender hearts who gaze upon a mask" The whiskey reference isnt to do with alcohol. I dont drink (well, more or less, I did drink about 6 times in 2020, maybe twice in 2018, and here and there at other times. Im just a bit of a fitness enthusiast, so am mostly pretty particular with what I consume, plus consuming depressants is a terrible idea for me). The reference is to do with mental health and depression slowly sipping away at your sense of self and replacing it with what and who those around you have concluded you are.

[@MentalAmanda]

Just remember that family isn't just blood. After losing my parents, I have no family left that didn't abandon me either. But I know that's not because I'm not worthy. You are worthy and lovable even if they don't see it.

[@beezle1976]

@@MentalAmanda thank you. I genuinely appreciate that you put in the effort to respond. Even the best hearts in the world can struggle to find the energy to be actively kind when they suffer from depression no matter how much they would like to. Its a very heavy thing to do, especially when carrying the burden of depression oneself. I tend to gravitate towards KZbin channels hosted by good people. I believe things like anxiety and depression give an almost subconscious insight into people's true character, probably out of necessity. You've definitely earned my subscription.

[@ZacJenkins-fg3ex]

I think to me it means acknowledgment of being the monster that everyone else sees when they look at you and embracing it which i think is important so you can understand what needs to be worked on and changed. The little girl at the end seemingly pulling him out of his state i relate to because my daughter has a similar effect to me

[@RandyEvans-d7n]

I am a 20 year member of the Army and a 3 time combat veteran...this song speaks to me.

[@MentalAmanda]

Thank you for your sacrifice.

[@RandyEvans-d7n]

@MentalAmanda Thank you! I just did what needed to be done and hope that anyone else's sons or daughters don't have to...to include my son.

[@montscot832]

Thank you, this video helped me understand a lot

[@davekelly7539]

On the topic of being "dishonest" because the truth "wasn't safe". I think that's the angle that my narcissistic ex tried to take when she told all my friends that "she could no longer trust me" because of my anger. I was upset that she was being manipulative and emotionally abusive. Getting upset at how I reacted to her emotional abuse IS abuse. I had just buried my little brother at the ripe old age of 26 less than two weeks prior. Cornering me with manipulation, gaslighting, guilt tripping, condescension, and all her flying monkeys, I raised my voice one time. In that moment I needed love. Not to be attacked. She left and I lost everything.

[@MentalAmanda]

Narc abuse is brutal. I've been there. I hope you are finding healing now.

[@stew4313]

Speaking on what you were saying about people saying that you are praying wrong or not praying hard enough is just where Christians get a bad wrap. They think there's only one certain way to do this or that and thats not the case. A relationship with God is just like having a best friend. Just talk to Him the same way you would anyone else that you can physically see. He's there. He knows your heart. Most of all, He loves you. And the fact that He didn't save you from the troubling times doesn't mean He wasn't there. He always was which helped lead you to where you are now. That's helping others who battle with their anxiety or depression. I'm not sure if you are a Christian or not, but you have the general makeup for one and that's loving and caring for others just like Christ loves and cares for you. For that, I thank you for doing what you're doing. Keep it up and God bless you

[@megtwix721]

This song is so beyond words relatable to me, I've had so many people (parents and therapists included). That have told me that the depression, the anxiety, the panic/anxiety attacks that I was having/had was "all in my head' that I was lying about it all to "get attention". WTF!? I listen to a lot of Demi Lovato and havee found more comfort in their music then any other band or artist out there. Then I heard this song at this really hit home for me, the second verse of the song ("I think I'm going nowhere like a rat trapped in a maze). Is were I burst into tears the first time I heard this song. I freaking love FIR!

[@MentalAmanda]

I spoke to a guru (Swami Kriyananda) once after years of therapy not really getting me anywhere. I told him that I had all of these things that people told me were "in my head." He said, "Why do they speak like that makes it less serious? That's the worst place it can be because you can't just walk away!"

[@4x4slasher]

This song is the final song my best friend of 31 years posted before he took his own life on June 9th of 2021. I listen to it once a week. Its actually starting to be how my mental health has become. Between this and Judas by Fozzy.

[@MentalAmanda]

I'm so sorry for your loss, but I think it is beautiful that you honor him in this way.

[@jonathannicol2013]

I suffer with bipolar depression. Alot of Ronnie's lyrics hit close to home

[@Azarven]

"Falling in Love with Falling apart" the most powerful lyrics in this song and sadly overlooked by most because its apart of the chorus

[@josegarza2308]

This song bring back flashbacks when people thought I was crazy when all I want was some one help

[@darindudash6651]

Great song. Please do Daddy by Korn. Powerful song. Read the back story on it first though.

[@huntedpagan6599]

This song here…. The depression, the PTSD, the trauma, everything. I’ve fallen asleep at the wheel and crashed my truck. I shouldn’t have lived hitting an embankment at over 60 mph and flipping end over end twice before landing on the roof. Yet I’m somehow here

[@MentalAmanda]

And I'm happy that you made it!

[@angelus184]

If you need more FiR, please check out Drugs (the 3rd in a trilogy) and "I'm Not a Vampire" (original and ReVamped). Ronnie is amazing, as is his voice, and his music, a lot like Linkin Park, often helps me calm down when depression or anxiety gets be too much.

[@johnraygun9868]

I spent 21 years as a combat medic, a few tours in Iraq, that is his real daughter and it hits hard because I have a lot of built up rage, my daughter is the same age, when i feel like i am about to lose my shit, it is her that calms me down and leads you back into the light sort of speak, thats how i take it.

[@MentalAmanda]

I appreciate your sacrifice and I'm glad you have something to ground you 💖

[@johnraygun9868]

@@MentalAmanda thank you!

[@sonjafigueiredo2481]

Now that Chester is gone, this is the one song I can go to and just scream out and just try to get all the built up Hell out. Thanks Ronnie and thank you for your reaction.

[@EMDalen55]

I’m not really sure what to say. This speaks to me a lot. I’ve spent 10 years trying to help save people and cardiothoracic surgery and now my wife has taken my daughter and is attempting to destroy absolutely EVERYTHING in my life and no one cares.

[@MentalAmanda]

Fight. Fight for your daughter. Fight for justice. Fight for healing. Fight for the life that you deserve.

[@Heartfall2]

10x for elaborating the core problems, people like you and me experiencing, and the song underline, but people still downgrade the problems, after all it's not the same level of "problem" for them.

[@Zalikor_Gaming]

I actually am diagnosed with clinical depression A lot of my issues i was told it was just something that will pass But it never did. I tried to take medication try to numb it and it didn't work.. I started out of the age of 5 dealing with all that That's when I was diagnosed as I got older I came to feel I didn't like the medication when the way it made me feel bill it felt synthetic almost almost like my happiness or my calm demeanor were fake now as an adult II learned to cope Without medication and that's not for everybody some people would prefer them as the trick to dealing with your depression is finding out what works best for you and the only person who can truly tell you what that is is you you can go to a therapist or doctor to help you all day But at the end nobody knows you the way you know you I used to go to therapy and everything too and I just never got anything out of it other than someone to talk to and now I have friends I talk to And family it's something that you need to grow and learn to cope it's never gonna go away That's not the way this feeling works But you can learn to work around it dedication effort And patience. Anyone who takes the time to read this I hope you have a wonderful day

[@timroberts3269]

My mother's counselor used to tell her to just think positive. It used to piss me off because she was so bad that she needed to be in the hospital but the counselor wouldn't commit her. I ended up finding my mom passed out on the floor because her lungs were so weak from doing nothing and she ended being intubated 5 times before they did a tracheotomy.

[@MentalAmanda]

Positive thinking alone can't heal a person. That would anger me as well! I hope she healed from that.

[@timroberts3269]

@@MentalAmanda she recovered enough to be able to speak again but had to live in a rehab facility until she passed away from heart failure in 2015.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@timroberts3269 I'm so sorry. Losing a parent is so difficult. Feel free to share memories of her here.

[@jamesr854]

Glad to find your channel! The song & video of “Coming Down” by Five Finger Death Punch are immensely intense and helped me when I was suicidal. It would be wonderful to see your reaction and hear your thoughts on the video❤️

[@MentalAmanda]

Here ya go! kzbin.info/www/bejne/b4W2pHqmmJiVkLs

[@jono19901]

ok late on this video but watching your videos of songs that ive listened to 100 times and dissecting them has actually made me look at myself and how im actually dealing in life and looking at things a different way.. thank you so much for starting this channel its doing wonders for me but im also sure for many others. adressing the praying and such im very much a non believer i just havent ever had anything happen that has made me believe in my opinion god isnt real its a make belief excuse for people who cant take responsibility for themselves but again thats just my opinion

[@Chrisimplayer]

Thank you I struggle myself not as much as some others thankfully but getting over it is not as simple as others believe I applauded the people who can have a decent life and navigate their issues but I a lot of the time just getting stuff out of my head it eventually leaves but I've sat their before thinking WTF because I could be playing a game or watching a movie or show have my attention fully focused on it enjoying it and still my issues whatever I'm dealing with is on my mind while I'm fully focused on my entertainment and enjoying it you can't just simply ignore it but I understand why some people find it ridiculous or say just deal with it they have never had the experience it which is awesome they never had to deal with it I'm happy for them but it's still difficult for me and many others I'm so GLAD it's not nearly as bad for me as it is for many others but I feel bad for those who have it worse than me.

[@MentalAmanda]

Many of us have been there. Doing the dishes. BAM. Watching a show. BAM. Spending time with a loved one. BAM. You said it yourself. Other people say ignorant things because they are ignorant to the situation. They don't understand how we feel! It's not a competition. Your struggles are just as valid as anyone's, but kudos for trying to use comparison in a positive way.

[@DyvmSlorm]

That is Ronnies daughter in real life. She, I believe, is one of the things that grounds him back into reality when he feels he is becoming the popular monster. She also plays a big role in the trilogy, Loosing My Mind, Loosing My Life, Drugs (I believe they are in that order).

[@lilwoowoowoozie9242]

the little girl is his daughter Willow. She shows up in a few of FIR vids bc she is kinda his anchor and the reason he's been able to stay clean and stay out of prison and stuff like that

[@johntimmerman5371]

I know it's a song to covay a lot of emotion. it was the point. to feel the disability to help but to go ob. be the monster you need to be to to help others

[@brianconnelly2906]

I'm always having a wrestling match with my inner monster and have to keep it under lock and key! When I let him out, he knows the limitations to his actions. I have small breakable and cheap items to have fun with and then that's the end of it.

[@tiffannirose468]

I've discovered this channel by listening to this song, so many struggles going on. Like how much is enough that one person goes through? How much pressure can the ice withstand before it cracks and shatters?

[@MentalAmanda]

Maybe the ice is in an environment that is too warm for it or it's under too much weight and instead of questioning why the ice is being ice (like we question why we are being human), the question is how to get the ice to a better environment 💖

[@scifimonkey3]

Hi again Amanda, you still do not seem to have got to the song, ‘Routine’ by Steven Wilson. A really good song on a really good subject for your channels particular theme. The song has an excellent animated official video which really enhances the song.

[@coolslider2011]

Falling in reverse voice's in my head is like my internal monologue in real life

[@connorlong7283]

For me I have made not trying to where I probably subconsciously wanna reach out while also not wanting to leaving the safety space of nothingness I have made for myself My word to anyone who reads this try not to let yourself reach the stage of feeling nothing it hurts so much

[@MentalAmanda]

You can absolutely share here. What's going on?

[@connorlong7283]

@@MentalAmanda after feeling not understood by anyone my own family included I shut my heart away and distanced my self from everyone now even if I try to let them in the wall I put up won't go down and I don't know how to make it go down

[@MentalAmanda]

@@connorlong7283 You take small steps. It won't go down all at once, but you can test the waters. Share more neutral thoughts and slowly slip in more emotional ones. Just be sure that you are surrounding yourself with loving and empathetic people.

[@connorlong7283]

@@MentalAmanda me and my friends like to joke that we are a part of the club no one wants to be in I guess you could say it's our coping mechanism and how we deal with depression

[@timstarnes8587]

Great reaction. We need to speak openly about mental illness in its many forms, because I think it has reached epidemic proportions now. You should check out Tom Macdonald "Balloons". Tom says it's what one of his bad days looks like.

[@damonbryan7232]

I've embrassed and chained all my monsters. The chains isn't for my safety. The chains are for everyone elses safety.

[@lilwoowoowoozie9242]

they just dropped a new song called, 'Voices In My Head' you should check out

[@glennfabian]

Pls react to I'm not a vampire and compare to the revamped version. thank you.

[@jamesmoore8092]

I have an older song that think your style of reaction would work very well for. There is no official video, but amazing song about depression. Would it matter by Skillet.

[@marcosro5891]

I prevail - breaking down,is so personal of brian,the singer of band

[@Jordan-1007]

Great reaction! Can you do a reaction to halocene "when demons come to life"?

[@NathanMalnaa]

I love this song. The first time I saw this, I thought they were announcing a new Underworld movie lol

[@tylercoley8353]

As someone who struggles deep down inside with depression and anxiety I've reached out only to have my hand slapped away so many times so I built my walls up and shut the world out until here recently I've started losing my battles with my demons I've been slowly breaking and falling apart but have the memories of people who I thought I could trust stabbing me in the back and making me feel so small so it scares me to reach out when my world grows dark and cold especially since my brother died it's all intensified and I'm hoping the music video I have planned out for the song I wrote about his death brings some sort of closure but at the same time it's gonna put me in my most vulnerable state bc I'm gonna let the world see exactly what's been going on in my head from the drug and alcohol abuse to me almost ending it all behind closed doors I hope once I get it filmed you'll watch it and let me know what you think what's gonna be portrayed in this video has never been spoken of just bottled up inside me ticking away like a bomb seconds away from explosion

[@DyvmSlorm]

Tyler, There are people that are insensitive in the world but many more that are simply struggling with something themselves. I believe many of those people that have stabbed you in the back, did so not out of spite but simply because they were struggling themselves and did not know what they were doing (they were focused internally not externally). I would hope you can find a way to keep that in mind and never stop reaching out. All it takes is for that one person to listen. As for your video, I hope Amanda does cover it! What a way to reach out, throw yourself out there! It is exactly what I was talking about. I find it very hard to imagine you won't find one sympathetic ear by putting yourself out there like that. If I see it, I'll comment! Support from Minnesota.

[@tylercoley8353]

@@DyvmSlorm the people who stayed me in the back are the ones to tell me it's all in my head and that time heals all wounds which is one of the biggest lies ever created and then the next chance they got they would make fun of me behind my back and the ones who they made fun of me to came to me and told me everything that was said one day I'll open up again when I feel the time is right but I'm hoping this music video helps me find some closure amongst the turmoil and I appreciate your support man

[@DyvmSlorm]

@@tylercoley8353 "it's all in your head" is the ultimate useless statement. Whether it is or isn't does not diminish the pain and telling someone that is, at best, a way to avoid the issue or, at worst, a way to pin blame for your feelings upon you. There are many issues in life that we struggle to deal with alone. Having a sympathetic ear, someone to bounce ideas/thoughts off of, or even just someone to listen and not comment are such powerful healing methods. Here is to you finding something akin to that! Looking forward to the video, and a deeper understanding.

[@tylercoley8353]

@@DyvmSlorm this idea and thoughts behind this video have me both excited and nervous I'm excited about the possible closure and nervous about how vulnerable it's gonna make me at the same time but the world will definitely know my pain when they see the finished product

[@MentalAmanda]

You might be the most valuable and beautiful gift in the entire world. But if the wrong person receives you, someone who can't see your worth and beauty, that is on them, not you. Believe me, I've been abandoned and betrayed by countless people as well. There ARE people (myself included) that care and that will listen. Please share the video here when you finish it. I will absolutely watch it.

[@DyvmSlorm]

As for "belief" waiting for answers or enlightenment hasn't worked for me. All I can do is look at the world and try to see the patterns that suggest something more. There are those hints all around us but there are many things that make one question that higher power. For me, it is those times that I feel lost or ignored that I need to rely on my belief. Those beliefs are not about getting a better outcome etc but of making it through the dark times. That's just how I see it.