Jessica isn't entirely sure if her Date is Gay🥴 | First Dates New Zealand

[@slevinlindsay3624]

I don't recall him asking her one question about herself. Even when she was telling him about her inspo for lyric-writing, he was still clutching his little lyric book, still making it all about him.

[@peyote.]

He missed out on a girl who was sensitive and attractive because he was self-absorbed, which might be because he's used to being alone that he didn't know how to connect in that way

[@slevinlindsay3624]

@@peyote. yup. Also note that he said all his bandmates already had a GF so maybe he also wanted one for the wrong reasons, just to fit in. I got the sense that he is ready to accept any chick as a trophy GF just to say he has one and the chick most definitely must be the type to only laud him and say how amazing he is as it certainly won't be reciprocated. As others have mentioned, pretension and his self-admitted "pretentiousness" is probably a cover for his underlying lack of confidence and insecurity. This chick was not the one to give him a reality check, although she gave him some chances and hints if he was paying attention (which he wasn't because it was all about him), such as asking him specifically if he wanted to ask her anything, but he will get his reality check from someone someday. Maybe if he even just reads the comments underneath this video.

[@leezlvontrapp]

@@slevinlindsay3624You captured it all perfectly!

[@truth_hunter]

He didn’t show much interest in her I noticed and that can be a turn off. When I was talking/dating my husband, he wanted to know as much as he could about me. That made me feel good that he really wanted to know me and my experiences and my likes and dislikes. Of course, I wanted to know him well and know his likes and dislikes and life experiences. Maybe, he doesn’t know how to date because he’s been single and focusing on his music. He might have to have female friends that turn into something over time.

[@Br0wnCh3]

Just bear in mind, these episodes are heavily edited Before being released. It’s done for drama, producers who make these shows do that to create interest.

[@pepper1188]

From what we saw he barely asked her a question and then when she asked if there's anything you'd like to know about her he basically shut her down. She was lovely and truly the epitome of gracious

[@TimCaruana]

Let's face it, she's way out of his league. And he's way too emotionally immature and too self absorbed to create any type of connection with her.

[@Skeezer66]

Of course he's self-absorbed, he's a musician in a band! LOL!!!

[@Halp1819]

Yeah exactly and they honestly are the same league looks wise but personality wise, he’s nowhere near it.

[@Yue_Jin]

I dno man, considering what she's a mix of...

[@arianamontenegro5528]

Simp

[@Turnpost2552]

Dude she is ain aleague of her own

[@pamelahansen5928]

Daniel missed a huge opportunity- she’s amazing - and was happy to listen but he did not reciprocate at all or try to know her

[@patrickwilson2474]

I don't believe it's the listening that turned her off though. As soon as I saw her I knew she wouldn't be interested in him romantically. My guess is she prefers a bigger, more masculine and athletic man with a sense of humour (which girl doesn't want that) 😂

[@peyote.]

I agree. She seemed interested in him, but when someone doesn't ask you about yourself, there isn't a way to connect because it's all about them. Even when she tried opening up, he was looking through his lyrics book. It was all about him.

[@thushfdo7262]

I totally agree with you Pamela. She is lovely, Beautiful and smart. She listened he didn't!

[@hd-xc2lz]

@@peyote. Agreed. His looking through the lyrics book while she's telling him about her failures in a relationship and what she learned was an unbelievable turn off. Wasn't his lack of masculine size that turned her off, but his boyish personality.

[@ENFPerspectives]

He made a rookie mistake. Too bad. Sometimes a first impression is all people get, but then again, it is nice to be loved fully for all parts of a person, both ways

[@JamesCraigWhoop]

He seemed more interested in exposure for his music than the date

[@Skeezer66]

Exactly!

[@PROVOCATEURSK]

Bro got music-zoned.

[@dtbristol]

Don't leave your date so long she goes to another table. Also, never admit women don't find you appealing if asked. It's social proof that you aren't desirable.

[@jennifergirling6850]

Nothing wrong with writing sad songs they're great 🙂

[@hd-xc2lz]

It's important to women that their man be considered attractive to other women.

[@joshuadansby2874]

I don't understand your second statement. Can you rephrase it?

[@dtbristol]

@@joshuadansby2874 Social proof is a psychological and social phenomenon where people copy the actions of others in choosing how to behave in a given situation. You're admitting women don't find you attractive. That signals to your date that she shouldn't find you attractive, either.

[@ST-df5lw]

Most of these rules can go both ways I don't get why people have to make it a woman or a man thing.

[@Raina430]

Oh dear. He’s looking for the next song to show her while she’s finally talking about herself! Eke.

[@stevenmichaeleich9856]

This guy lied, he is in love, with HIMSELF!

[@balorklub]

😂😂😂

[@DivyaJoan]

She is amazing, gracious, and very grounded. I really hope she finds someone who is like her, grounded and self-assured enough to not talk about themselves all the time.

[@jones2277]

she's a lovely gal, but he spent the whole date talking about himself.

[@fig1563]

He seems self absorbed. He didn't ask her questions and talked about himself a lot. Even when she was talking, he wasn't even paying attention, and was focussed on his own book (7:06). Honestly looks like he is thinking about what he wants to say next about himself, rather than listening to what she's saying. Indeed, at 7:43 after she finishes saying some things, he starts talking about himself and goes back to his book right away.

[@hd-xc2lz]

He wanted her to admire him more than like him.

[@eltonlovell9898]

He's the sort of person where you hide behind the sofa when you see them coming to the door..

[@mrbtrn]

Shes absolutely stunning too bad he was either unaware how to interact on a date or too self absorbed.

[@Bambi-ul1tz]

At first I thought he was just rude, until I saw his age 😂 then realized he's just shy and inexperienced 😂

[@thecosmicxx]

They are the same age. She was lovely. He is rude

[@TMPreRaff]

Daniel - "Proud of being pretentious..." Wow. His date is pouring her heart out to him, while he flips through his own little book of lyrics. Rude.

[@diedjedoedel2997]

She is telling him very personal things and he keeps flippin through his own songwriting notebook. Tells me that he has no space for interest in her. Probably to busy with his own things. Relationshipwise this is no good. He probably needs help or more time to sort things out for himself.

[@M3THOD1978]

He said “I” and “my” 162 times. He said “you” 1 time. And that is always what not to do. It should be reversed. Listen how many times she asked about him

[@JasmineSurrealVideos]

Poor girl, that's all I can say. He never asked her anything, she had to do all the asking, and how rude to be flicking through his lyric book when she opens up something about herself, like all he's interested in is him. I've dated someone like that, when you say anything they start looking at their phone or poetry book. She's gracious, lovely and a pleasant young lady, and way way too good for him, tbf.

[@m4a1JAY]

He looks like that kid on the Sixth Sense. A man child.

[@Raina430]

She’s very sweet. Good luck to both of them.

[@darkerbinding6933]

He's way too into himself to be in a relationship. Needs some years to mature and learn to look outward.

[@PanHaszaman]

This guy is self absorbed. He has extra tickets to the shows and it would be nice to get some people to go with him... That's basically it.

[@robertgelblum5154]

I found her very attractive, beautiful and intelligent and nice company. He seemed very artistic and sensitive, perhaps a bit effeminate at least in appearance. I could clearly see that while he definitely liked her, she could only see him as a "friend." It was not a good sign when she joined another table while he was taking a washroom break.

[@beebe7477]

He only found happiness speaking about himself. No wonder he’s sadly alone. He shouldn’t be proud of being pretentious.

[@fig1563]

Yeah, even when she was talking about her experiences, he was not paying attention and was looking through his book (7:06). And then at 7:43 after she finished talking, he straight away goes back to his book and starts talking about his stuff again. He looked like he was "listening to respond" (about himself) rather than listening to get to know her. He seems pretty arrogant and self absorbed.

[@Kayumari]

He is too infatuated with his lyrics rather than listening to her.

[@Montrose173]

She let him down in a really classy way.

[@RHathemoment]

What a gorgeous soul the girl had.🤍 beautiful. Xxx

[@RobertSmith-rj9md]

Jessica was BEAUTIFUL.. and seemed such a lovely girl xx I wish you all the best xx as for him… it was all about him and his music never really showed much interest in her,

[@patrickwilson2474]

Oh no, that 'did you want to do numbers or Facebook?' Line was saaaaad. Everybody's knows you aren't supposed to follow up if she says friends

[@marilaucher9989]

Young lady had appropriate table etiquette and manners. He on the other hand was eating with elbows on the table, left her for way too long and was affectatious.

[@RapidBlindfolds]

I hope he sees this comment section and decides to learn from his failure

[@Raina430]

He’s intelligent and sensitive. I think he really could use a coach or therapist. Best wishes to them. ❤ She seems very grounded and in touch with herself.

[@deerheart87]

I agree he's nice

[@Turnpost2552]

She really cant do no wrong tbh

[@tinjadog]

My mother always told me if you want a man to find you fascinating, get him to talk about himself. 🤣🤣🤣

[@leigh7507]

On the normal version in the UK they have more adults in their late 20s to 50s. The new zealand seems to set up very young people on formal dates.

[@Skeezer66]

I've heard commentators from NZ say people marry and have kids young there, so I guess it reflects that, but it makes for bad dates.

[@paulabee81]

It's less interesting, too. They have less life experience to share.

[@TheWeardale1]

call me old fashioned, but if i go on a date then I'd wear more than a raggy t-shirt and a sweater..

[@cityhawk]

He's incredibly clueless. I don't know if it would help him, but he definitely needs a dating coach. He comes off as self-absorbed.

[@Leticia-rg8dw]

These type of pretentious guys are insecure deep inside but don't know how to deal with it, so they go on living a life of denial.

[@ascendwithemily]

The book... This is a 20 year old summed up. Romanticing life through their own struggle. X

[@kaputfretudy]

I wonder if he’d followed her cue to ask more about her, they’d have matched up?

[@heathergrahame9647]

I think he has a mild case of autism. People with autism lack social skills, especially in romantic situations. However, they're intelligent, interesting, and open-minded people who are honest and won't manipulate you.

[@mariebernier3076]

They aren't always intelligent, just like the rest of the population.

[@CorporateQueen]

He didn't think he was good enough for her .. shame. If he'd had a bit more confidence, he could have had a date.

[@stjohnssoup]

He hasn’t had a girlfriend before, he’s 20 and is studying mechanical engineering. I don’t know why people are going against him. She’s 20 and already been in a failed relationship

[@vamp8903]

Shes more mature than him ...and hes too young for her ....he has strange eyes ...and just carried on about himself too much ...he ended up knowing nothing about her ?

[@BarriosGroupie]

Fact of life: Not all of us are destined to pass our genes on to the next generation.

[@Turnpost2552]

Her value is supppppeerr high, I woukd like to see you try to even mutter a conversation.

[@HanaKotaro-df7ng]

As soon as she started talking about herself, his face says “honey, this is my time, you are stepping on my time.”

[@harrisonsmovietributes1689]

He's right. He's portentous, self centred and didn't ask her a single thing or was interested to know anything about her

[@avtar1699]

She is too pretty lol she would totally intermidate me with her beauty. I am normal looking bloke, someone like that would make me nervous. I just don't have that inner confidence or self acceptance that guys in her league have.

[@jahipalmer8782]

Uff, she actually tried to get him to reach outside of himself by asking "is there anything that you'd like to know," but it seems like he missed it.

[@NecroMoz]

He was lucky to get friendzoned after focusing solely on himself all night. Hope she found someone interested in her!

[@arriagatwo777]

Right to the friendzone

[@DK_Son]

What a derp. She had to practically offer up the opportunity for him to ask about her, and he still couldn't take it. Dude might be ignorantly self-absorbed. Like he gives off an aura of someone who would/should care about her, but he doesn't. At that point he could have turned it all around and asked her a million things. What a waste. I'd date her. She's lovely, and I would want to know more about her.

[@gillowens24]

So very pretty both very nice

[@mj-rg9kp]

Sad but she is definitely not on his level. She’s beautiful, classy, intelligent and kind. He is,,interesting in a way but just doesn’t have it. He just doesn’t care about anyone but himself 😅

[@davidyoung5640]

shes so cute shes got the fang and everything, I'm sure she has found someone or will have soon!

[@howabouthat8606]

Sure he seems inexperienced in dating and asking questions but they made a connection with their shared interest in music and writing and that's still a pretty good outcome.

[@yourmutualfriend]

The guy just needs some practice to smoothen the interaction. He'll do just fine!

[@Skeezer66]

Two 20 year olds on a date, one's in a band and focused on making music. This went about as well as it could. If people think he needs to change, he's in a band! If they're any good he'll do more than fine! She was bright and lovely. She's going to do fantastic!

[@davidwajsar1987]

Anyone know what band this guy’s in? I wanna check it out tbh, sounds like it’ll be an interesting listen

[@04mdsimps]

Is he wearing a tottenham hotspur jumper? Edit: he is. Wonder if he knows its football related

[@aduckwithanumbrella]

I didn't even know people in NZ watched football

[@DJAndrewMoore]

Facebook? what year was this filmed?

[@Peteristrate]

Go to gym (you don't have to be a bodybuilder, just be able to lift up your groceries maybe), wear a suit (that fits). That's all men have to do, for God's sake.

[@CorporateQueen]

He doesn't need to go to a gym. He's using being pretentious to cover his lack of confidence

[@paulabee81]

None of that is even necessary. Just dress your best, whatever that may be. Ask her questions about herself and show genuine interest. And make her laugh. That's it!

[@lexa6154]

The mistake Daniel made is that he didn’t seem to show any interest in her life. He was mostly just talking about himself, and not asking her many questions, which came across as pretentious. Also, my dear Daniel…if you’re going to go on a first date (especially on television!)….wear a shirt, dress up, and at least make an effort with your appearance! You’re a handsome man, but you looked sloppy, like you just rolled out of bed! Anyway, you do have beautiful eyes and nice skin, so at least you’re handsome. X

[@shoelacedonkey]

Definitely agree with the first part. A conversation should go both ways. Seriously disagree with the dressing up, especialy in a dress shirt... someone should wear what they are comfortable in, but I guess that's still a big difference between some men and some women, and maybe a cultural difference as well. I'm from the Netherlands and it's more than normal for women to show up in jeans, shirt and sneakers even on a date. I'd personaly prefer that over uncomfortable high heels etc. Wear it if you like, but don't expect or pressure someone else to do the same.

[@EYEZP951]

I would've told her he'll no! You're getting no benefit from that friendship.

[@cathybelk-cb3ei]

That was a good decision to get together as friends and collaborate some so gs

[@jones2277]

being friends with a guy who has the hots for you never goes badly for either party... said no one ever.

[@TheCarlScharnberg]

She deserves way better.

[@jayneluke6814]

She's such a beautiful girl inside and out ❤

[@indarsamlal4558]

Wow she's amazing I would love to go out with her .😊

[@kylie200]

He doesn't seem to care at all

[@davidgowing6544]

I think I may be one of the few people who noticed he was wearing a Tottenham Hotspur cardigan 🤦‍♂️😂

[@deborahbarnes8377]

I feel he hasn't got much to offer a women, so he has built this wall of pretention to convince himself that he's alone because he's protensious when he really has low self asteem

[@jobella2656]

Just because they share the same vocation it doesn't mean they were a match, he deserves to be loved already , hopefully.

[@jones2277]

he deserves to be loved? he was a terrible date. he loves himself plenty.

[@jobella2656]

@@jones2277 If he doesn't then by logic you neither, ALL Deserve To Matter & Be Loved.

[@jones2277]

@@jobella2656as a rule, I don’t think anyone deserves or doesn’t deserve to be loved. That being said, he isn’t ready to be loved by someone else because he isn’t ready to love someone else. I could see the hurt on her face as she tried and tried to share some things about herself and he he made it about himself.

[@jobella2656]

@@jones2277 Then by your same logic neither does she as her hurt triggers don't belong to her yet, making her a perpetual victim, hopefully she will, sad.

[@MrNiceHk]

He essentially has very little charm or understands the cat and mouse game of attraction which is a shamw because he seems like a nice human being

[@dddtrump]

ouch. friend zoned

[@lifeiswonderful2023]

If enough men see this she will be very sought after. Not only is she stunning (reminds me of Amal Clooney) but she is incredibly mature and interesting.

[@barbsteele3301]

At least he knows a little something. He is absolutely pretentious! She’s the best and beautiful too.

[@marlondeanclift]

He seems a very intelligent and good hearted guy. And he's funny. What's not to like? Bloody people.

[@Kdija89]

I hope the daters watch their episodes and learn from their mistakes and reinforce what they are doing that works. It could have been a successful date, if only.

[@burthuffman2802]

She was sweet but he was .... yawn.

[@magnetking1396]

i looked at him and no manliness there

[@chase5692]

It's a first date. How can you tell that anything romantic is or is not there or could not be.

[@burthuffman2802]

This beautiful lady is breathtaking but he hasn't a clue and he only talked about himself. And, look how he dressed, omg.

[@LeMerch]

Its obviously a short clip and the editors will only show you pieces that fit the narrative but from what we saw they are just two young people on their own journeys. People will give the guy a hard time in the comments but he isn't a bad person. He just needs to learn to be less self aggrandizing and more open to listening and actually trying to connect with the other person.

[@w.urlitzer1869]

he's intense but uninteresting. lethal.

[@mandymulders1]

🤣🤣🤣omgoodness what a silly boy

[@elizabethmenegon8057]

Weirdo happy with himself 👏👏 Why not 😉 have a good one? Ciao!

[@leolopi]

going an the first date in a tottenham sweater is absolutely nuts

[@ds5398]

Even more nuts when you know it's going to be filmed 😅

[@stjohnssoup]

He is 20 and studying mechanical engineering. A nerd and sweet

[@farhiya323]

🤣🤣🤣👏

[@laurastuart3814]

"Jisicca" - have New Zealanders done away with the letter e?

[@avishill8613]

That's him dressed for a date🤦

[@MrNiceHk]

Bless him

[@Dzeath1]

She's 10, he's 5..

[@Davechappelle445]

She’s so cute

[@festussmom6364]

I think this girl reminds me of Christina Grimmie, taken from us waaaay too soon. It’s something about her mouth. 💋🧚🏻‍♀️❤️🇺🇸

[@user-bp7wg3tk6c]

Honestly think he may be on the spectrum

[@BiPolarBear128]

he was waaay too into himself , she was talking and he was not listening and just looking through his book while she was poring her heart out , bad ...first chance he got he started talking about himself ..he will never meet anyone until he realizes he is not the center of the universe

[@Turnpost2552]

The thing about a girls value being that high is that, infidelity is always going to be an issue and she is a muscian and so that sht will gett annoying fast.

[@4happythoughts]

She’s so sweet 08:56

[@slimpickinns]

Gee. I wonder why he is single….

[@joeburr7537]

Friend zone!!

[@miam1074]

he was going through his notebook which other song to show her or impress her with while she was talking about a very personal stuff. he is not in a relationship because he is immature and self-absorbed. It is painful to watch actually.

[@user-ct8my8rv9c]

He says he has a baritone voice? umm lol