Getting Past German Immigration | Foil Arms and Hog

Getting Past German Immigration | Foil Arms and Hog
#Immigration #Germany #sketchcomedy
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[@foilarmsandhog]

We're hoping to bring a few shows to Germany and other European places in Autumn 2022. For our Upcoming Dublin & UK dates www.foilarmsandhog.ie/tour

[@Skyeletor]

DO THE NETHERLANDS. Yes. Solid plan

[@luca201411]

I'd really love to see you in Italy. Am I the only fan you have from Italy? :)

[@ghislainhofman7097]

@@luca201411 Forza roma

[@nihongo-fokkusu]

Do "other European places" include Russia? This is my dream!

[@anndevries8267]

Yes please do. Probably skipping Belgium so I can pop over the neighbours to catch a FAH show.

[@janf.8522]

As a German I've never heard a joke more hillarious than our trains being on time.

[@Chickenface12345]

Somebody NEEDED TO SAY IT.

[@charlottebalfour4557]

I've lived in Germany for a few years and I can promise you the german trains are the most reliable I've ever used. It's meckern auf hohem Niveau ;)

[@janf.8522]

@@charlottebalfour4557 What a cruel world this seems to be.

[@dervakommtvonhinten517]

@@charlottebalfour4557 no, the niveau isnt exactly high. your standards are just too low xD

[@ottototto]

That was my thought too! Like naaaah guys, you missed this one :)

[@dustinprei7639]

"train is on time" if you know anything about DB you know thats not true 😂

[@schultze360]

I was expecting them to say "never"

[@A.C_B.]

Having lived in both Germany and a couple of other countries I have to say that you are extremely lucky with your train network.

[@suecole6473]

I missed an international bus because the train was so late going from Cologne to the airport.

[@Ned-Ryerson]

@@A.C_B. We may be, but ... if you have ever had to stand from Würzburg to Hannover (yeah, I used the endonym there) because they just removed the carriage for which you had made a seat reservation, packed in like it was the London Underground, with no information given as to WHY the damn carriage was no longer there, and you only made the connection to Berlin because the scheduled stop in Göttingen was reduced from 12 minutes to 4 ... You might start to wonder.

[@davidwuhrer6704]

Did he say the train is leaving Stuttgart?

[@hierundjetztnahundfern]

As a German i am really saddened to see still such misconceptions about Germany, the train seems only on time because you are on the wrong train;)

[@joshuarichardson3589]

Underrated comment award!

[@johannageisel5390]

You are not on the wrong train, but it's the train that was supposed to go two hours earlier and didn't.

[@meckerhesseausfrankfurt4019]

"If a german says they're tired and wish to go home, what do they mean?" "That they're tired and wish to go home." Rule number one: Never ask a German how he is, if you don't really want to know exactly. Asking means you really, really want to know EVERYTHING. Otherwise you could have said "Guten Tag, nice to see you again!".

[@CyberlightFG]

I often say it and mean it, but I'll stay anyways.

[@_Dwarkin]

It works in many countries, like Russia. Personally I find out hilarious that you can answer "How do you do" to "How do you do?" and it's a correct answer

[@DaDuJuGo]

I'm still surprised on how in other countries you pretty much don't acknowledge the 'How are you' part 😅 I mean it's a valid question, why greet people like that if you dont give a shit. 🙈

[@OliverJazzz]

Same in Finland, you don't ask if you don't want to know! 😂 And we love complaining!

[@e.458]

That's why Germans keep the results of their last blood cultures at hand; to give you an accurate, comprehensive and detailed history.

[@Inkyminkyzizwoz]

"Nein, ze trains are not free!" That's the first time they've got a question wrong in any of these sketches!

[@Sigilstone17]

Psst, it's a joke they haven't been paying for their train rides

[@Inkyminkyzizwoz]

@@Sigilstone17 Yes, I guessed that

[@sadhbh4652]

Free the Palestinians. Solidarity with Nemi El-Hassan

[@jpaugh64]

It's not a joke; it's a sketch! Different format. I get the part about not paying for trains; but why is that punchline specific to Germany?

[@gabrielaalegria5273]

Yes, I was thinking the same!

[@bismutfan2211]

The correct answer to the train question would be that the train gets separated in Hamm and only the first 14 wagons arrive two hours late in Berlin

[@DaDuJuGo]

and the air conditioning sadly has a malfunction as well. So everyone crammed in the remaining wagons all enjoying the same heat 😂 Been there too many times.

[@silentwatchman9908]

it does not arrive at all because a cancelled train does NOT count as delayed. the system is perfect

[@CyberlightFG]

wagons in reversed order.

[@davidconnell1959]

I reply as an American - the first time I flew to Europe was the day Ronald Reagan fired all the air traffic controllers. We all slept overnight on the floors of the airport, and when our plane took off 36 hours late, the schedule boards said “on time.” A week later I took the train from Amsterdam to Köln. Underway there was an announcement “leider wir sind zwei Minuten spät erwartet…” (unfortunately we will be two minutes late…) We pulled into Hauptbahnhof Köln exactly two minutes late after hours of travel. The electronic signs showed “2 Min. spät.” That’s America vs. Germany in a nutshell.

[@e.458]

Or: the train is 14 mins late and German passengers start sending goodbye notes to their loved ones, since the world ist clearly ending.

[@TheFunctionalForce]

😂😂 after two years in Germany I can confirm every time I ask someone if the speak English and they say “just a little”, I end up in a full complex existentialism university level type conversation 🤯

[@m.d.5463]

Doesn´t that say something about the german education system?

[@tupacshakur5868]

@@m.d.5463 i learned shit in school, english classes are horrible, english skills are mainly formed throu media (music/games/etc) I think what gives german speakers an edge in english is that german itself is kind of similiar to english, but way more complex. This results in a situation where most germans can (if confident) have full on conversations in english, but often fall for little traps

[@thomgizziz]

Thanks for telling people that you didnt speak with many germans... or you are just talking out your butt for attention.

[@gandalf_thegrey]

@@tupacshakur5868 Well I mean we have to write language and poem analysis in every language we learn. I don't say schools are particularly good at it, but we get the basics to formulate these ideas in school.

[@tupacshakur5868]

@@gandalf_thegrey this applies for class 11 onwards but basic education does not include alot of analysis

[@muskatDR]

One slightly dark "Who is ze most famous german?" "The guy from austria"

[@BiglerSakura]

"Mozart?" "No, the artist one."

[@JohnSmith-jt8lk]

Question number 2.

[@GreaterD]

i think i can speak for the whole of germany here, there are no trains that come on time, there are only trains that come, and trains that dont

[@der_benson4478]

Die Bahn kommt.... meistens zu spät.

[@GreaterD]

@@der_benson4478 oder im Fall das du weit weg am dem Land wohnst: Die Bahn kommt.... Meistens nicht.

[@der_benson4478]

@@GreaterD ich bin Stuttgarter... S21 ist ein Begriff? XD 2 Fun Facts: - S21 ist eine Haltestelle, kein Bahnhof. Bahnhofsgleise dürfen gesetzlich kein so starkes Gefälle haben. - S21 ist konzipiert worden um den ICE Verkehr deutschlandweit zu verbessern. Wegen dem besonderen Gestein brauchte es eine spezielle Genehmigung dafür dünnere Tunnel genehmigt zu bekommen. Die nächste Generation ICEs die gerade entwickelt wird passt nicht durch diese Tunnel.

[@alexanderkupke920]

@@der_benson4478 S21 ist kein Begriff, sondern ein desaströses Millionengrab

[@narendrapanse7844]

Kindly do not shatter my comfortable German stereotype(s), ok!!! ALL German trains run on time - and that is that. I do not want to know what you Germans think about them.

[@limettengrun5186]

I (as a German) don't want to feed into that "Germans have no/bad humor" narrative, but that bad joke at the end was so accurate, I'm still laughing.

[@willrichardson519]

...the build up to the let down...priceless!

[@zhouwu]

@@willrichardson519 It's not a German joke unless it takes you through that emotional... Whatever you call it.

[@TFlexxx]

In the body of German classical literature (Goethe, Schiller, etc.), there are no comedies. In contrast, Shakespeare wrote at least 10 comedies. You Germans are not a funny people.

[@fabiandurr6865]

Me and my uncle always make fun of words. And grammar. And semantics.

[@TFlexxx]

@@fabiandurr6865 "My uncle and I": grammar. You should put your uncle first, and then use the nominative form of "I" to refer to yourself. Your uncle and you are the subjects of the sentence, not the objects. Signed: Grammar Nazi.

[@markplain2555]

I was in the 'German part of Switzerland' and asking for help. I asked the women if she perhaps spoke English. She said, "A little". As the conversation developed I realized, "Her English is better than mine and I'm a native English speaker."

[@lsd8497]

"Gerhardt, I told you it will " 😅

[@simis4390]

Arms' German accent makes everything better.

[@foilarmsandhog]

VERY kind

[@TotoDG]

@@foilarmsandhog. Come on! Don't call them a child!

[@emjackson2289]

Ze gut!

[@sadhbh4652]

Solidarity with Nemi El-Hassan

[@Cyberbeagle1000]

Everything bitte*

[@TiaMat99]

If you ask a Dutch person if they speak English, there are only two possible answers. 1: "A little", which means they can have a normal conversation with you. 2: "Yes", which means they will be correcting your grammar.

[@liyantop]

Or they'll say "My husband is antiquaaiirr" - Internetgekkies

[@Roozyj]

@@liyantop Hahaha, and she's not that bad compared to some of our football coaches... xD

[@liyantop]

@@Roozyj Totally agree xD

[@M69392]

What grammar?

[@mbr5742]

@@M69392 The one that English stole from whatever language it mugged recently :)

[@NapaValleyVegan]

I wish my Immigration appointment in Berlin had included some jokes, even bad ones. My immigration officer was so serious! 😂

[@tomislavm3983]

"One about chicken that is traying to cross a road, but there was several obstacles on his way." 😂😂😂 BRILLIANT!!!😂😂😂

[@HelenRosemarySmith]

"You must pay for the trains" "yeah we will, we have, we did" 😆

[@firewalk7]

Schwarzfahrer 😆

[@Randoman590]

@@firewalk7 I'm just giggling about how that translates literally as "Black Rider" and to my mind that sounds like the Nazgul from Lord of the Rings.

[@bobbyologun1517]

awesome recovery :)

[@BiglerSakura]

@@Randoman590 That would be Schwarzritter.

[@a.nastka7417]

FAH: "We're about to announce tour dates in Germany" Me, in Poland, already packing: "ok, close enough"

[@lmn6023]

The sad thing is, if they come to Berlin they might actually be closer to you than to me 😫

[@a.nastka7417]

@@lmn6023 oh, European geography, thou art a heartless b.... 😩 Let's just hope, there will be more than one city 🙏

[@bearo8]

@@lmn6023 me too. Let's hope he wants to revisit Konstanz. A show in Konstanz would be super close for me :)

[@MsArtivisual]

Same, but from The Netherlands 🚅

[@Beckenpower]

@@bearo8 That's what I thought too 😄

[@AussieInDistortedworld]

0:58 answer will be as 6:12pm As The distance between Stuttgart to mannheim is 134 and the to mannheim to Frankfurt is 84 and to Frankfurt to Berlin is 551 = 134+84+551=769km now that's the distance speed is equal to 144km now the time = distance/Speed per hour = 769km/144km per hour = 5.34 approx. So time in which train departed from stuttgart was 12:38pm =5.34+12.38 hrs in 24hrs system= 17.72 hrs -12 hrs = 5.72 hrs =5.72-5.60= 0.12 time that is surplus to 5.60pm = 6pm this time + plus excess time we had Time equals to 6.00 + 0.12 =6.12 pm with 74 passengers

[@winterlinde5395]

😁

[@AussieInDistortedworld]

@@winterlinde5395 finally some reaction for the efforts i had put

[@winterlinde5395]

@@AussieInDistortedworld ☺️really looks like a lot of work!

[@AussieInDistortedworld]

@@winterlinde5395 thanks a lot man!!

[@stupiddog79]

As a German, I am genuinely scared how well you hit the German accent o.O

[@24wallachian]

It's not difficult. You just have to learn to speak like Claus Schwab. 😄

[@michaelvm2404]

Not in Bavaria.

[@Allegro11Maestoso]

...and the wrong prepositions!

[@Itcouldbebunnies]

I know a funny German joke: What does a Dutchman do after winning the World Cup? Turn off his Playstation.

[@sandraaslanoglu5596]

Oh God, I pee my pants laughing 😂

[@monibrehm4403]

😂

[@lesleypatterson466]

Painful, but yeah, true!

[@Itcouldbebunnies]

@@christianjunghanel6724 Yes, it's a golden oldie, but it still works!

[@pattynjan1]

Hahaha

[@GlittzGlam7]

"What is Germany's most efficient, reliable and durable machine?" "Angela Merkel." ABSOLUTELY KILLED ME. So glad Arms is busting out all these accents. 😂

[@Nox.INkRecords]

🤣 same

[@m7ray]

Efficient lol

[@Edgeverse]

For a second I thought they were gonna answer MG-42.

[@calebk1841]

why did I hear it as Anglo American? I was confused

[@blackMZworld]

Angela Merkel is the ONLY efficient, reliable and durable machine in Germany.

[@legatus9081]

the no limit to vw emissions is the best bit

[@schulrose619]

5 minutes before the time you are supposed to meet is the german punctuality. (5 Minuten vor der Zeit ist die deutsche Pünktlichkeit).

[@tomgoff7887]

That is also "Army time" on the UK.

[@checkgetakt]

I am german and the capital joke just broke me. I just love a good "Wortspiel" :D

[@SamFAHntha]

They're such brilliant comedy writers 😂

[@TheFren]

I was honestly sad no one else likes our Flachwitze apparently 🥺

[@sadhbh4652]

Yeah and they support the Palestinians which is a relief

[@yasmina6987]

I'm from the Netherlands and I absolutely love your Flachwitze 😍😄 They're just great intelligent jokes ,😊😊

[@MsWill813]

I loved "on time"

[@anniesoernym]

Arms, your German accent is simply * chef's kiss * !! I laughed so hard with this one. Thanks very much, guys!

[@SamFAHntha]

Lists of amazing sounds #1 - Arms' singing voice #2 - Harry Styles singing voice #3 - Arms' German accent #4...(I can't be bothered, those are the only ones I care about 😂)

[@foilarmsandhog]

Thanks Annie!

[@orbaxis8859]

Ze best clip i have seen. U guys are amazing! Tqvm

[@m.h.6470]

Just a heads up: Nobody in Germany calls a beer mug a "stein". That is just an English thing, which probably originates from soldiers stationed in bavaria, where beer is served in stone mugs, which are called "Steinkrug" in German ("stein" = stone, "krug" = mug).

[@wandilismus8726]

And no german except the southern wildlings wear Lederhosen

[@m.h.6470]

@@wandilismus8726 I would go further and say only southeastern wildlings wear them. Southwesterners are often lumped in with them, but they have their own quirks.

[@nancyjanzen5676]

Well my brother in law brought a matched pair of those home for us from Germany. The ones with the metal covers.

[@m.h.6470]

@@nancyjanzen5676 Yes, well... it is a tourist thing. Hardly any "native" would use or even own them.

[@caked3953]

@@m.h.6470 Don't underestimate Austrians and north-Italians too

[@FictionWriter95]

"When a German says 'I'm tired and want to go home', what do they mean?" "They're tired, and they want to go home." *I miss Germany*

[@abhy301]

sorry, but what does that joke actually mean?

[@FictionWriter95]

@@abhy301 I just like that the Germans are straightforward, they say what they mean

[@ObywatelMurawjow]

@@FictionWriter95 that's part is clear, but I still can't understand what else people could mean by saying that simple sentence

[@FictionWriter95]

@@ObywatelMurawjow for some people, it means that they actually *don't* want to go home (I assume the context is a night on the town or something), but they don't want to openly say so. It's weird, I don't get it either.

[@JavierGomez-lv5mq]

For some people, for example in Latin Ametica, it CAN mean they dont like you or they are bored.

[@annastell3105]

One thing I really like about these sketches is even though I can't see Arms' face, I can still picture the facial expressions he's making by the way he delivers the lines and by how Hog and Foil react. I think it's amazing 😄 excellent sketch lads!

[@SamFAHntha]

Absolutely. I willing to bet on Mollie's life my imagination is getting those expressions spot on 😂

[@archivist17]

This must have taken many many takes...

[@gabrielaalegria5273]

😂😂👏 Same here.

[@jand4012]

So true! Especially when he does the capital letter joke!

[@kiradotee]

You can actually see his facial expressions in this one.

[@entertainmentandfun797]

Man this pair is basically already a citizen of every major country.

[@jelita_]

Yup. They should try some other "less developed" countries.

[@9nikolai]

@@jelita_ They already did the US

[@jelita_]

@@9nikolai LOL, I know. There are more countries in the world and I'm not from US.

[@deborahbeattie9103]

@@9nikolai 🤣😂

[@Nurichiri]

@@jelita_ I believe that was a crack at the US being less developed.

[@MyRegardsToTheDodo]

As a German I find this illairous. One thing, though: The only one who thinks David Hasselhoff is famous in Germany is David Hasselhoff. And about the train question: The Bahn defines "on time" as "it's less than half an hour late". When they introduced their smartphone app they even had an advertisement campain showing that now because of the app you can sleep in when your commuter train is late again.

[@cobden28whittehnam7]

I’m English, and twenty years ago I used to work with a German- born lady of about my Mum’s age. My colleague was very serious in her attitude towards work and appeared to have no sense of humour at all - but after knowing and working with her for a while I came to realise she had a very dry sense of humour (albeit well hidden) .

[@thekupus1]

Just remember, it does not matter how kind you are, German kids are always Kinder!

[@vertexrikers]

*Kinder SCNR

[@thekupus1]

@@vertexrikers Dankeschön!

[@CyberlightFG]

We also got kinder chocolate.

[@thekupus1]

@@CyberlightFG Ahhh so that's where all those missing kids are

[@covidmakesmoney866]

I know a kids named hitler

[@eddielash]

This is great. You guys are at your best when you're wringing the life out of national stereotypes. The "Risk" sketch is one of the funniest things ever put on film, it elevates you to the very highest bracket.

[@SamFAHntha]

I love how they can do so many different kinds of funnies. Sorry for not writing a comment as articulate as yours 😂

[@foilarmsandhog]

Ah cheers Matt, thanks so much

[@jayATUK]

Yes, I love the Risk sketch! It was the sketch that started the FAH binge watching and which I've shared with many friends who also found it hilarious 😁

[@allotherlightsgoout]

Risk was one of my first FAH skits I watched and remains my favorite!!

[@claireskrine4837]

Yes, it seems like the Risk sketch was the entry drug for quite a few of us.

[@xTobsecretx]

I love this whole series - little digs here and there which are funny, and also so many charming little details that make you first feel appreciated, and then chuckle. My favorite was the part about “What does a German mean when they say they’re tired and they wanna go home” - felt wholesome and then I chuckled bc we are so direct.

[@GuerillaAntwerpen]

The train bit must be ironic. Last month, I had to travel from Konstanz to Brussels and Deutsche Bahn was having yet another off-day. So I had to take a bus to Mannheim, sat on a train for a bit, missed my connection in Cologne (I got to practise my German expletives there -which is always fun- and argued with a railroad official, which is no fun at all) and ended up taking a taxi to Brussels, with a detour through The Netherlands because why not.

[@claire.thefirst]

Never been to Germany, but the only time I’ve ever used my one year of German was in Italy reading a sign on the beach. I was so proud.

[@renarde_0173]

Were there towels draped over beach chairs?

[@foilarmsandhog]

It is a great feeling!

[@andipopp1984]

As a German, I approve of this video. The best joke was that German trains are on time 😄 As a Bavarian I also approve of calling Lederhosen traditional German 😁 I'm really looking forward to your German tour dates. Don't keep me waiting too long.

[@mpip6370]

They're on time when you come back to Britain and realise that definitions of late are just madly different 😂

[@foilarmsandhog]

Early December for the German dates

[@bastelkiste2242]

@@foilarmsandhog no way, you mean this year? Can't believe it, that would be awesome.

[@ThePixel1983]

As a German living in Paris I wonder if you'll ever come to Paris. 🙈

[@olgatarasevich3113]

@@foilarmsandhog no way, haha! I live in Germany , but going to the UK and Ireland in early December, really hoped to see you there :/ better luck next time then , I’m sure your tour is going to be epic!

[@kikujirofromkyoto]

I've seen your immigration tests over and over again and my favourite is definitely this one. I can't stop laughing at the immigration officer. Also, I'm not German but Arms accent sounds accurate. Well done guys. 😄

[@user-jk2zm7uq5s]

You really nailed the bureaucratic German window shades ( they are even the shade of a fresh ash-grey...)

[@bernadinesavarin]

FINALLY, Arms really gets to use his German throughout the whole sketch! You must have really enjoyed doing this one! 🤣 Great sketch as always! 👍

[@foilarmsandhog]

Loved it, they were teasing me, saying maybe they should get another actor in

[@bernadinesavarin]

@@foilarmsandhog Nah, it would be a real travesty if they did! 😆

[@linam764]

@@foilarmsandhog They're just jealous of your brilliance, Arms!

[@paigeturner4425]

@@foilarmsandhog du sprichst besser Deutsch als die meisten Deutschen in ländlichen Gebieten 😅

[@dania7716]

@@foilarmsandhog foil, hog stop bullying arms! 😂

[@GreenJimll]

I lived next door to a German girl in University halls of residence as a Fresher undergraduate. I only found out she was German about a month and half into term when we were talking about plans for where people were going for Christmas. She spoke better English than I do.

[@thomgizziz]

Yeah and the sky is red... why do people lie about things like this? Either they had been in the country most of their life and arent really german at all or you are bending the truth to have a story to tell to get attention for yourself, either way it would make you a bad person and you should stop.

[@gandalf_thegrey]

@@thomgizziz lmaooo

[@plantgang886]

@@thomgizziz Is someone here looking down at the English speaking capabilities of the Germans? If you think Germans actually speak English like in this video, you're absolutely wrong. Only the boomers talk like that. Everyone here learns English to a point where we know the English language better than our own.

[@NickyHendriks]

@@plantgang886 same in the Netherlands. At one point in time I was speaking English 80% because I was working in a hotel with mostly international business customers, my accent slowly moved towards something that was sort of Irish in a way (according to colleagues) and some of the returning customers couldn't believe I was Dutch (while working in Belgium).

[@NickyHendriks]

@@thomgizziz Because it isn't always made up. About ten years ago when I spoke more English than Dutch I was actually better in English than my native language. Sadly faded away because I don't speak the language that often anymore but even my school grades prove the fact that my English was better than my Dutch back then.

[@2learn4ever]

Great gas!! The German accent was straight out of 'Allo Allo' TV series!

[@SloMo2723]

LOL, I'm a American who lived in Germany for 5 years. You guys were spot on! Love the people from Germany! Cheers

[@TheRisingQueen]

The joke about Angela Merkel was hilarious 😆

[@SamFAHntha]

Agreed! Made me crack up 😂

[@felixfruhauf4940]

And you just snuck this one in in time, since she will leave office in a couple of weeks 😊

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

@@felixfruhauf4940 when? If I were her I would be wearing a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and have a mojito welded into my hand, to remind everyone I'm actually retired now!

[@Sebastian-kv4qq]

"Wat is se national symbol of Shermany? - The towel on the deck chair." You guys almost made me choke on my Sauerkraut. XD

[@sadhbh4652]

The real answer is "the logo of the IDF"

[@faolan2174]

Could you explain this one to me? It's the only one I didn't get.

[@Sebastian-kv4qq]

@@faolan2174 kzbin.info/www/bejne/bHylqn-vfcxkm8U 😁

[@faolan2174]

@@Sebastian-kv4qq thanks!

[@stucky101]

I love this series. Was wondering when it was our turn. Well done !! The trains were def my favourite !!!

[@mb77mb66]

You just cannot believe the level of detail these guys go :)

[@AlienValkyrie]

"When a German says they have a little bit of English, what do they mean?" "That they speak English better than you" As a German surrounded by plenty of people who are mediocre or worse at English, I beg to differ 😅

[@friedrichmirle7375]

Yeah, but those aren't the ones you are most likely to connect with outside of Germany.

[@sadhbh4652]

Free the Palestinians

[@tyrrhus5248]

From experience those say they have a great English, so it still stands true

[@OrontesRM]

@@tyrrhus5248 Yes! Usually people who say they have no problem with English, are a disaster. And you only realise it when it's too late and you're traveling with them and having facepalm after facepalm.

[@retrobreit9656]

@@OrontesRM True! And here is why: kzbin.info/www/bejne/poCvnneVjLuMY6c

[@nonyabisness6306]

"If a german says they're tired and wish to go home, what do they mean?" "That they're tired and wish to go home." This had me rolling around laughing pretty hard. We are very literal people, something I only really understood when I was in Northern Ireland for 3 Months. No one would say what they meant.

[@Inotsosunny]

Yet, if germans are asked if they speak English they'd reply - "A little". Go figure...

[@raisingfalcon]

@@Inotsosunny literal and humble!

[@Inotsosunny]

@@raisingfalcon well, I had somehow different experiences

[@ChestnutTreeCafe]

Sometimes it's a good idea to run your thoughts through a filter before they come out of your mouth.

[@nonyabisness6306]

@@ChestnutTreeCafe No.

[@MasterRoosevelt]

The immigration collection videos are very funny. I would like to see a Mexico's one soon. Good job guys! And greetings from Mexico!

[@crypterkametaron1982]

I like how an "umfahren" joke is indicated in the end.

[@Voice_of_p]

You did your resarch very good. German Humor is like Bread in the soviet union: not everybody gets it.

[@NuNaKri]

😅😳😅😳😐

[@evaberriman9929]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@sophiapacione]

I really shouldn't be laughing at this as hard as I am...

[@ChristianF15cher]

I seriously own a T-shirt with Stalin’s face on it that says “Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it”.

[@AbhijayAgarwal]

@@ChristianF15cher Share it with the people, comrade

[@NeverLoveNiila]

I'm a German teacher for immigrants in Germany. That last joke will now be passed on to all my students :D but seriously, you'll just run through all the accents you can make with these sketches, right?

[@foilarmsandhog]

Maybe 🤪

[@diogenes.]

Go see Craig Ferguson doing German accent ,bet you'll love it .

[@muzaffaralisheikhji]

That train joke was so on point. As an auslander (foreigner) you always wonder if the passenger next to you has paid or not. Also there was a time when the college students used to hang out at train platforms to collect the group travel tickets from arriving passengers. 😂

[@MR-uk7iy]

just had me rolling this is pure gold!

[@TheSneezingAnouki]

I'm German, and this is accurate af -- except for the train being on time. That never happens, ever

[@SamFAHntha]

Uh oh 🤭 FAH made a mistaaAAaake 😂

[@piccalillipit9211]

WHAT - you men you have got the British in to run your trains...???

[@aniinnrchoque1861]

Trains are mostly punctual In fact sometimes they might even be early. What sucks is that everything is too tightly fit and one train screwing up will have dramatic ripple effects on other trains getting track clearance.

[@sadhbh4652]

Free Palestine

[@M69392]

Confused with Switzerland

[@retoscholly5538]

"What is Germany's most durable Machine?" "Angela Merkel." You guys owe me a new set of pants! Great comedy!

[@steffenbendel6031]

And a few days after that she broke down.

[@germanyball982]

@@steffenbendel6031 ?

[@fragezeichenwenn]

@@germanyball982 I believe he is referring to the retirement of Angela Merkel as chancellor.

[@germanyball982]

@@fragezeichenwenn oh ok

[@GoodPersonTestWebsite]

In 2005 I did a tour around Europe and of the countries we went to, Germany and Austria had the toughest security. Austria had armed guards with huge guns all over the airport and at the German boarder they came on our bus with rifles and checked all our passports with seemingly suspicion and angry. 😅 We were a bus full of American high school teenagers. I was a little frightened. 😅

[@onepiecer8622]

The most unrealistic Thing about the whole video, is German trains being on Time. I literally cannot remember the last time a train was actually punctual

[@LukeVilent]

In the actual German naturalization test, they have a question: "Germany is a 'Rechts-staat' (legal state). What does it mean?" One of the 4 possible answers is "Der Staat hat recht", which, if you don't know German well, you'd translate as "The state has laws", but actually means: "The state is always right". P.S. Nein, that is not the correct answer.

[@vomm]

Not really. "The state is always right" would be more likely "Der Staat hat recht", with lowercase "recht". Also, you miss "immer". Without it would mean "The state is right".

[@LukeVilent]

@@vomm True, but since the state isn't going anywhere, and it is not explicitly specified, in which particular affair the state is right, it is natural to assume that the state is always right in whatever question :)

[@solokom]

@@LukeVilent That's a very German discussion you guys are having. LOL

[@SwapnilJha]

Was ist die correct answer?

[@LukeVilent]

@@SwapnilJha "All residents and the state itself are to obey the laws." They also have changed the three wrong ones by the way. Those now are "The state should not obey the laws" "Only Germans have to obey the laws" "The laws are produced by the courts"

[@littlered9009]

Love love love! My brother had to prove he could speak German when applying for German citizenship - with something official like a certificate, despite his being able to discuss all the citizenship stuff fluently in person, and having lived there for years - it just seemed to fit our stereotype of them so well!

[@untruelie2640]

As we say in Germany... "If it hasn't happened in writing, it hasn't happened at all." ;)

[@foilarmsandhog]

Really? thats interesting, I never thought they would give a german test

[@littlered9009]

Yeah, it was a case of sitting a written test or proving it with a degree certificate for example

[@jolaajtak7861]

But that is everywhere where you want to apply for citizenship though. It is an objective test and not dependent on one person's opinion.

[@friedrichmirle7375]

Sure, but that's just normal, isn't it? Requirement for attained citizenship is a certain level of language skills (even if you were born in Germany, to non - citizen parents). Which gets measured by a standardized test. Which quite a lot of people fail (even among those born here). And not because it is overly difficult. But because they are not used to utilizing German in everyday life. You can apply for citizenship only after like 8 years of living here. It's not unreasonable to expect a workable amount of German to be mastered during this time. For those that migrate here for work and get by using English there are prep courses that can bring you up to speed quickly if you put in the work. I don't think Italy or France for example have much different requirements.

[@bugler75]

What is there no limit to on the Autobahn? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 the best of many great gags here!

[@martinstent5339]

"Sauerkraut: It's gross!". Had to pause for a laugh there.

[@kathrinbauer5358]

I was just going to write how impressed about your knowledge of German culture I was until your said that the train would arrive on time. The right answer would have been "Late".

[@SamFAHntha]

It's too late now 😆

[@willrichardson519]

I think that was part of the joke? ;-) Jokes within jokes.

[@hamanakohamaneko7028]

The right answer is "never"

[@aysenur6761]

Ah the trains of Germany... Refreshed my memories of when I visited there and used the trains for the first time, I didn't see any control places or turnstile. So I thought that was one of those Germany's free public services. Then I was asked if I have my ticket in the middle of the voyage. So I guess when the gentlemen saw my clueless face, he got the issue and said "Miss, the trains, contrary to the lots of tourists' misconseptions, are not free." Just one of the memories that still make me blush with shame🤧

[@carola-lifeinparis]

huh? what other free public services do we have in Germany that would be the equivalent to free train travel?

[@aysenur6761]

@@carola-lifeinparis higher education and healthcare? Tho we have free education and healthcare in my country too but you know there's a stereotype of Germany that their free public services are very inclusive so I thought why not for the trains too huh😅

[@carola-lifeinparis]

@@aysenur6761 Ah, I see. I hope the fee you had to pay was not too extreme. :)

[@ashvinvaidyanathan7239]

@@carola-lifeinparis the db workers are usually very kind towards tourists

[@JohnFallot]

Ja, die Züge in Deutschland kostet über Null Euro! 🚄💨

[@Sven_the_Swede]

"Ja, ze Hoff!" and I lost it!!!

[@judithconnor6717]

This is my all time fav FAH sketch, and that is saying a lot! Narrowly edges out the Irish language police interrogation.

[@ckschumeister411]

German trains on time? Best joke ever 🤣

[@SamFAHntha]

Is it not true? It must be true!! 😱😂

[@MsAdam09]

I think maybe Germany and Switzerland are getting mixed up? I always thought it was Swiss and Japanese trains that are always on time.

[@henningbartels6245]

the train arriving on time in Berlin was the best joke!

[@hara2185]

It's even touching that the officer believes trains arrive on time.

[@jayer.]

Truly refreshing to see a video that makes fun about Germany and doesn't mention WW2 directly once. Good job guys! Welcome to Germany!

[@sadhbh4652]

Hopefully they'll talk about the Palestinians, because there is a good intertwined history of solidarity between the Irish and Palestinians, and I think the Germans could learn a lot from it.

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

@@sadhbh4652 stop trying to shoehorn this in here. Are you expecting done sort of award for "caring"? All you are doing is trivializing the issue

[@linajurgensen4698]

@UCMN5WRmln5k3s1oKo-ao36Q fuck off! Stop spamming the comments.

[@narendrapanse7844]

No once cares about WW2 except the Brits and Americans. It was the last time they won something.

[@ChRW123]

That's because they aren't as direct as Germans.

[@sebastianbrown2270]

Never stop making these videos. They are a highlight of my week.

[@foilarmsandhog]

No plans to stop!

[@jelita_]

I agree. Thursday is not bad with a new video.

[@user-mb9np6sh7u]

Joke at the end reminded me of the time I passed my final DSD exams. My hysterical laughter after hearing I passed the exam perfectly will be probably remembered by my classmates for a long time

[@HoxtonLive]

As an English speaking Iranian who lives in Germany i totally get that final joke, it has happened to me a few times. It's fact, not stereotype. I also find the dark depression specially in winter to hold true. Mid February when the days start getting longer is becoming a very important yearly event to me.

[@fariesz6786]

as german, i can confirm everything but the trains. it doesn't even matter that they are still really good compared to other countries - we germans will never stop complaining about them being late.

[@jamie9063]

us easterners always laugh when we see western europeans complaining. like, my polish friend lived in germany and she was booking a doctor appointment. the lady on the phone was constantly apologising her for the fact that she'd have to wait a month to see the doctor. you can imagine that her polish self was like "huh, like it's long?". here it would be considered a blessing lmaooo

[@jamie9063]

so i guess you never had to experience sitting in a train that was an hour late at the very start of the route lmaoo

[@charadron]

Late and expensive... damn DB

[@grapefruitbierchen2141]

@@jamie9063 Yeah, this usually doesn´t happen in Germany because if the train is 1 hour delayed at the start station, then its cancelled :D

[@TheTrueAnarchel]

So according to statista Germany is the second last place in Europe when it comes to train punctuality. And that is with fudging their own statistics, because they define what being late is more generous than everybody else. At the same time, I didn't check for numbers here, but I think it's safe to assume that they're at least among the top 2, if not the most expensive train company. Going to the doctor might work better than in Poland, but our trains are definitely an utter failure.

[@moritzsnow1999]

As a german who payed 50€ for a cab yesterday because his train never came I laughed hard at the train joke...

[@barbi3680]

😃You were luckier than me. I paid 120 Euros in Paris...it cost me more than the flight!

[@MonLikaa]

I paid 100€ for a taxi because of the trains 😭

[@paulscala2907]

I busted a gut at "the trains" 😄. Konstanz is beautiful btw. Did a summer language program there. Loved it.

[@Andyhandle]

Love these!

[@giantsparkplug3462]

I'm always apprehensive about taking a drink during one of their sketches.

[@TAT4guitar]

As an expat living in Germany (and loving the country

[@bobbyologun1517]

immigrant*

[@sugershakify]

The train one had me rolling on the floor...

[@thomads3890]

"at what time does the train arrive in Berlin" - "on time" CERTAINLY NOT. WHO DOES YOUR RESEARCH?!

[@deviles]

Oh that Volkswagen Co² Emissions gag is soooo good

[@untruelie2640]

As a German (who always waits at red traffic lights, especially in the middle of the night with no car to be seen anywhere near), I can confirm that this sketch is 100% accurate. I will certainly come to one of your gigs in Germany. :D

[@SamFAHntha]

Awww have fun!

[@katiohmeyer1254]

Haha I feel called out on the rules and regulations. I'm as square as they come. 🤣

[@hipsepipse]

Finally! I have found someone like me!

[@GottesgrosszuegigeGnade]

Weeeell, did you ever travel by train?

[@untruelie2640]

@@GottesgrosszuegigeGnade Regularly. ;) At least the commuter/city trains in my area arrive usually on time.

[@hichembenaissa]

I live the train joke. I've got hundreds of German train fines that I will never pay because I'm French

[@Halikatti]

Haha the german ”joke” at the end and the britts’ reaction to that! 👌

[@Xarx42]

"At what time does it arrive in Berlin? - In time." Oh I really wish it would be like that... :D

[@SamFAHntha]

Feel free to make that joke a fantasy instead 😂

[@mbr5742]

In 2017 I was waiting for my ICE (high speed train) in Berlin Central. Saw a smoke clound in the distance, started cussing (I love taking pictures of steam engines). Then saw the local fire department make an apperance Attention passengers of the ICE to "my designations". Due to minor technical difficulties the train will not run. The ICE came in smoking like a BR 01.10 steam engine . If that is a "minor" one - the major one is half the train missing kzbin.info/www/bejne/bHewmXWHat-CeqM

[@HelloOnepiece]

@@mbr5742 germans trains are really stubborn when it comes to admitting their failure. Like the trainenginenis not working for a good half an hour, many people would like to get off and switch trains, but they would not let us get down, because "it will work". They made us get off an hour later

[@jianng7795]

"VW carbon emissions" My lord that's brilliant

[@h9695]

A German is mad about the train arrived 10 seconds late.

[@Burvedys]

- Do you know what time is it now? - Ja, of course I know.

[@suecole6473]

Aww. I loved the call-back to your host family. So sweet. Always aware of others and never forget anything - that's our Arms. Great sketch, as always. Any chance of hearing you sing?

[@foilarmsandhog]

They were so kind to me! Hoping to make a de-tour to visit them at some point

[@missfjemy4206]

I really laughed at the "the train arrives in Berlin on time" joke. The Germans are always on time preconception isn't fitting the Deutsche Bahn very well. And I'm very excited that you want to come to Germany. Please come to Bonn or Cologne. I'll be there!

[@Mut4ntG4m3r]

They were here before the pandemic at least once. I watched them live in berlin, it was great. And they always enjoy "talking" german, so heres hope ;)

[@foilarmsandhog]

Good to know!

[@kuhlesdaniel]

Not if you or they take the train to get there. ;)

[@jankisi]

Maybe more fitting for the punctuality thing would have been: "When you tell your German friends the party begins at seven, when do you expect them to show up?" "at seven o'clock" Or "What should you do the second you know that you won't be there by the time agreed upon?" "Text them "sorry, I'm already on my way"." Srly, when we meet for 1pm and I know I'll arrive at 1:02 pm, I'll text the person. I'd also expect the other person to do that if they were late

[@willrichardson519]

@@jankisi wouldn't they be at least 5 minutes early, to make sure they're on time? In the UK there is now quite a spectrum of being fashionably late, 5 minutes, in my case, but I'm relatively old school, being late middle aged, *sigh*

[@sarahprunierlaw9147]

Loved this sketch!

[@jamonzonv]

There is a huge PROBLEM/MISTAKE here!! the Deutsche Bahn is NEVER on time! 0:50

[@rockstarJDP]

"I have one about a chicken zat is trying to cross unt road but there are several obstacles in the way!" Choked on my tea on that one, grand effort as always lads 😅👌

[@robertarisz8464]

German jokes are often like that - rather cerebral and are intellectually funny (but intellectually jokes only get a strained and awkward response at best). Captured perfectly in this clip & and hats off to them!

[@themaggattack]

A pun about the "G" being the capital of Germany is cerebral and intellectual? 😆

[@somzer]

German humour. It's no laughing matter.

[@gabriels5589]

Yeah very cerebral joke

[@Call-me-Al]

@Saint Wendelin if you haven't already, check out the comedian Loriot's (RIP) works.

[@IgorRockt]

@Saint Wendelin Loriot is one side of the German humour, Heinz Erhardt another: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nnSZdYR_pa6meq8

[@anastylos2812]

"When does the train arrive in Berlin?" "On time." Tell me you have never been in Germany, without telling me you have never been in Germany.

[@LOEKASH]

The fact that this was all done in one shot.