I'm "ugly" and "insecure."

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[@ForHarriet619]

Watch the story of For Harriet over on Patreon! Patreon.com/ForHarriet

[@PolitiKings]

Hi Harriet, I was one of the folks that commented on your "Beauty is a Bad Investment" video and I might have given the impression that I thought you were ugly or bitter, etc. I certainly DID NOT MEAN TO imply that you're ugly, bitter or any of that. I was simply stating the fact that beauty is an investment that can contribute to people's prosperity and so it is obviously not a bad investment. So, anyway, I just wanted to clarify that point, in case my comment contributed to the feelings you expressed in this video. To me, you are FABULOUS and your mind is something every intelligent articulate person should want to engage. Thank you for posting these videos!

[@ReasonsWhy5]

Most people are shallow & ignorant, & I don't think there a very many "ugly" BW. The problem is, most women "have no sense of style" everybody is trying to fit into a standard; first of all that's not ours, and it don't work for everybody. If BW would concentrate on being the most attractive THEM in dress, makeup, hair, & how they carry themselves, everything else becomes obsolete in regards to beauty Period!

[@225gurl2]

@@ReasonsWhy5 😊👏!!

[@paige_judah5538]

@@ReasonsWhy5 👏🏾 that was beautiful, that's exactly what I feel as long as I feel good, feel like I'm the shit "F" what the nxt think.

[@ReasonsWhy5]

@@paige_judah5538 That's it sister. As long as you develope your best you, that's all that matters, cause BW are the most beautiful. And we are not one size fits all!

[@kking4768]

Sis....make 👏🏽the👏🏽 book👏🏽.

[@cleopatramyers6134]

Girl yes

[@mobanks1573]

@Britney Jackson I will read it twice and give it out as christmas gifts! lol this woman is brilliant!!!

[@eralonuva]

Every sentence in this video would make an amazing chapter topic.

[@pumpsandgloss]

Ready to pre-order.

[@juliajordan5023]

@KL , yes! Also ready to preorder!

[@sinontherocks]

“I’m happy that you have a very healthy self-esteem. Everyone should be so lucky” 😂😂😂😂

[@Nikki-ci5ze]

Lolol I love her like legit love her!!!!

[@Tonia682]

Such intelligent shade😂

[@whoopsydaisy6389]

She made such an impact on me with this statement that I missed the next couple minutes and had to rewind. lol

[@elizabethj8130]

😂 girl, that took me out!!!

[@passion4family]

👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@susiepoexoxo]

It makes me emotional how intelligent you are 😩

[@zinab2blessa]

Right? Sometimes I have to pause, take a moment and just digest what she just said.

[@TheAmbitiousDiaries]

Right!

[@kimeygrant]

Me too. I don't think that Harvard University is to get the praise for her eloquence; this is her!

[@Lulu060986]

Me too sis haha

[@LS-sf1hf]

Me too! She’s so brilliant.

[@KishaWynter]

I disagree with just one thing. You say you’re not motivational but quote “You don’t have to be everyone’s type to live a great life” has got be one of the most motivational and empowering things I’ve ever heard. Absolutely brilliant, clear and articulate. I’m a raging fan 💕 💕

[@HelloKittySiims]

Kisha Wynter I need that quote on a shirt

[@sys691]

Mee too

[@YD-di3pm]

Not only this quote but the whole video and youtube account is motivational. Maybe it isn't the right term, I think empowering would be better? The fact that For Harriet is representative of minorities and that she is amazing at creating intellectual discussion outside of academia is really encouraging for women in general.

[@thebrandauthoritypublisher]

Toni Morrison said beauty is not virtuous because you didn't have to work for it.

[@candletabletop154]

the real beauty is the one you DO have to work for

[@rimbluebooks]

May God rest her soul

[@justatexasgirl5583]

That doesn’t sit well in my ears.

[@breannajoseph2018]

Texas Craftin’ Chick why not?

[@thebrandauthoritypublisher]

@@breannajoseph2018 i think you should re watch this video

[@swatkasham5509]

I am a 42 year old woman, and long before my 18th birthday I came to terms with the fact that I was one of those females who were not born with great beauty. I am not unattractive, I however do not turn heads when I walk into a room or down the street. The boys, and later men, did not notice me. I wasn't sought after. I realized that I was blessed with a strong analytic mind and plenty creativity. I was the girl that you fell in love with after investing in conversation with me. Yes, I wish I was one of those women who had doors opening for them because of their looks, but I have accepted that this is not my destiny and now I am comfortable and blessed in that.

[@MeliMeli66]

Same here. However, I noticed that my beautiful friends, black and white alike got hounded by guys wherever they went. Other girls just disliked them for no reason. They had a lot of people who who were envious or jealous of them. I am an introvert so all that attention would have caused me great anxiety. Of course, I wish I could be a "princess" but I also saw the reality of living with such outer beauty, Moreover, as we age, we all lose the attention that we usually get from a youth obsessed culture. So the fall will be even greater for women who have gotten used to being seen as exceptionally beautiful. I also won't experience such a huge drop in attention. It is unfair that women should be judged based on their beauty and youth, however, there are negative consequences for the average and the exceptionally beautiful as well.

[@ParentalDiscretionIsAdvised]

God always give us in abundance to make up for what "lacks"! In your case, what He has given you is RICH because you acknowledged everything early on and you worked (and still) with all that you got!

[@PrettyEyesz]

I can somewhat relate to you but my issue of being not attractive was due to me being fat. Family, my mother, peers, and strangers always mistreated and ignored me because I was and am fat. So I refuse to give up on becoming thin so I can be and feel pretty. I want to be treated better, and actually paid attention to by men. I'm sorry but I'm not one of those girls that will ever just accept being not that attractive. Because living being the ugly fat girl has been horrible. I want to be the thin pretty girl, I want the male attention. I'm kind and I always will be no matter how people treat me. But because pretty privilege exist. I want to be pretty and do whatever it takes to become it. I like your comment by the way, you seem to have a beautiful spirit.

[@swatkasham5509]

@@PrettyEyesz I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability! Let me tell you something - never, ever make yourself into anything because you want to get attention from men! Yes it sucks because it's nice to be admired. Just be yourself and the ones who have sense will be attracted to you. I'm married with 3 sons, yours will come to you. As for your weight, you CAN work on that! I suffered from deep depression and ate my feelings. I went from 110lbs to 203lbs! In December of 2021 I decided enough is enough. I started working out, eating better and mindfully. I've now lost 30lbs. I feel better, more confident. Do it, but do it for YOU!

[@PrettyEyesz]

@@swatkasham5509 thank you for your comment, I am doing it for me because I want to feel pretty to myself, but it will also be nice to finally be admired from the male gaze. Because every woman wants to feel attractive to men.

[@MrLakers92]

“Not talking about you being the cutest person in your department” HILARIOUS 😂

[@nowwhat1434]

A drag and a read 😂

[@TimoteoDeBaum]

Lmaooo 🤡 we got bigger fish to fry 💕

[@bobsecret199]

In other words she has a problem with being called “UGLY” …but has NO problem calling these other women “UGLY” …she’s just too big of a little *COWARD* to say it DIRECTLY! But anyone who looks like HER shouldn’t dare to go there in regards to …ANYBODY!

[@LifeGuru16]

I'm ugly and insecure 🙋. Somehow, I'm also confident.

[@brithomp]

Hlengiwe Nkosi relatable lol

[@ashleighcalloway886]

I'm ugly and I'm proud ~spongbob

[@true4585]

Saaaaame! I think my confidence tricks people into thinking I’m attractive lol

[@LGnLA]

💯💯💯💯💯💯💜

[@sosopeople9157]

Me too sis.

[@shashavengesayi6055]

I saw the title and I legit was ready to fight, like girl you are freakin gorgeous, elegant, intelligent, black AF and magnificent

[@classassignment3643]

I was ready to fight too.

[@kijahne1210]

LOL . So was I.

[@dunnejos8423]

Sasha do you think Kim is also a Ravenclaw? I'd hope so :)

[@shashavengesayi6055]

dunnejos definitely, but I have a feeling she’s not into Harry Potter

[@allmysturff]

Yes me too!!!

[@lacortneyfinch]

Women who don't feel like they have any capital in Beauty...i'll tell you this..trust me you have a target audience. Your currency lies in your existence. Physical Beauty can only get you so far. Invest in things that appreciate; knowledge, coins, and your own joy. Because trust me shit will start sagging, Botox/fillers will make you look like clown, booties will ultimately deflate, and that nigga gonna go blind lol

[@pamelabrown3058]

🤓 SMART CAN GET YOU WHERE PRETTY NEVER WILL

[@Luna-kb3sr]

Amen

[@LifeofMinna]

@@pamelabrown3058 both will get u the most

[@SadeWatkins]

AND THAT NIGGA GONNA GO BLIND. PERIOOOODIT

[@victoriawilliams2577]

lacortney finch yessss 😂 😆 😝

[@alexisprince596]

Idk maybe it’s just me but I feel like there’s a difference between “being insecure” and “having insecurities”

[@AM-jo4fm]

Most definitely!

[@Mysteriuminiquitatis1998]

There’s absolutely a difference

[@tbriana05]

I LOVE how she reads ppl in the most intellectually way! Yass girl 😂 #blackgirlmagic

[@Phoebes89]

YES!

[@brindisi2brooklyn]

Your comment about own men calling us ugly but still dating an average black women clearly speaks to their insecurity. Unfortunately, many seek less than average women of other races to quell that insecurity. So sad that they feel the need to take it out on us in severL ways.

[@lilashleyb]

“Put some respect on my name to be honest.” Period. Okay! I felt that.

[@suchaclassylady]

That was a read! I think some of the people who respond negatively to you don’t understand what you’re discussing . It’s over their heads.

[@TheTeresamori]

Sucha ClassyLady I agree because I’m super confused as to how it happened that a discussion turned into something personal to them? Like did we all watch the same videos?

[@Tonia682]

I agree, this is why their comeback is so elementary.

[@SterlingSMtr]

AGREED!

[@senoracheapee1864]

Lots of us have poor listening comprehension and critical thinking skills

[@jaili3512]

Sucha ClassyLady Absolutely over their heads (or worse for them, in their faces, cause I believe that the fervor of their attacks on Kim indicate just how triggered they actually are!).

[@Mschuchii333]

Im surprised that people actually assume your work comes from a place of bitterness or insecurity. I always felt deeply that your work comes from self-assured confidence and deep thought. Keep up the good work!

[@amoore3734]

Social media has bred a slew of cowards..people who would never say the things that they type to anyone's face..so lame and bored with their lives.... I think you're awesome..keep it up!

[@Wanjiro81]

A Moore BINGO!

[@MommaLuvsManga]

"... I wasn't even talkin' 'bout you!" When I tell you I FELT THIS IN MY SOUL!

[@neptunethecat1884]

People who have nothing intelligent to say will always attack how you look always.

[@jazmineleno1414]

Right

[@jklax]

@@jazmineleno1414 Well your looks could effect how you see the world and give you certain biases that you confirm along the way. Being considered "ugly" can, and being considered "beautiful" can as well, which we see in child exploitation. Who really thinks objectively these days or at all.

[@bobsecret199]

IF she were even a tiny bit cute then her looks would NIT even be attackable!

[@LocsMermaidia]

Can you speak more on black men's lack of access to the luxuries of patriarchy and how it translates to how they speak of and treat black women. You did speak about it but it would be so good to hear an in depth talk.

[@brithomp]

Locs Mermaidia could you elaborate more I’m interested in learning about your sentiments

[@DearStephanieX]

Locs Mermaidia I have thought about this also- great point ...and worth exploring more

[@LittleMsLibra8]

Yes!!

[@pepita3467]

I think its maybe because of the manipulation of the lower classes into believing black women are such and such and white women are such and such etc and the narrative was fed to everyone to divide us so theres less power in the black community.

[@najah820]

Agreed

[@quissa101]

I will never understand why people think that ad hominem attacks help them win an argument. I’ve always enjoyed your videos because you not only speak on topics that are important and oftentimes ignored, but you articulate your views excellently and give reasons and evidence to back up your positions. This makes it even more frustrating reading comments about how “black women are bitter” and “you’re only mad cause you’re ugly” and as you said, most of them have such a distorted view of their own beauty 😒 Btw, you’re gorgeous sis

[@NoName-mm6gh]

Omg quissa.....its me, from reddit. We were chit chatting. It's ki!!!

[@quissa101]

MyNamed Name omgggg lol! Girl I love spaces like these for us 😂

[@NoName-mm6gh]

@@quissa101 I know right 😍you are missed🤗

[@NoName-mm6gh]

@@quissa101 yaayy sis😎

[@hootyjenkins1084]

@@quissa101 girls don't help men... Because they are Girls... Get a clue from that...

[@karmakameleon7118]

Haters just say that to deter you from speaking the truth, but speak the truth sis! 💅🏾

[@ablix]

Exactly

[@funkylilmouse]

Exactly, haters respond like that when they don't have any fact to justify their disagreement. Resorting to personal attacks is so petty and shows that they have nothing rational to say.

[@mikasjewels5772]

I'm convinced that most people just don't have the range.

[@tinnycrochets]

"im not talking about you" sent mee!!! i really think theres a subtle joy from putting yourself on that pedestal of beauty and for some reason i dont understand why people don't notice the very obviously difference between that and ACTUALLy being physically saught after in a societal lense

[@nowwhat1434]

Fact!

[@kimc2357]

She literally said: Uglies don't be calling people Ugly!😂

[@tinnycrochets]

P R rt shes literally who i want to be when i grow up lmao

[@quissa101]

*sees title* “Wow Kim really be out here reading my messages to my boyfriend “

[@kyrathedestroyer_]

Mequissa Baptiste lol right 😂😂

[@JCamilleable]

that is so funny lawwd

[@Nihilist_Porcupine]

Nuuuuuu you're all lovely!

[@hunadimakgatho3403]

😂

[@MsVIT425]

your hair is BANGING.

[@Frederique41]

I agree

[@LeilaNoelliste]

The older I've gotten the clearer it has become to me that black women -- even the lighter skinned ones -- do NOT occupy the top tiers of the beauty system. Asian and Latina women have the highest rates of interracial marriage to white men (who I feel are major architects of the American beauty system). Being petite, having fair skin and straight long hair (with no or minimal use of chemicals) is still the standard. Black women as a whole I feel gain very little privilege from the existing beauty system, so it's funny to me that we fight and squabble so much amongst ourselves. Being the cutest black girl at your church or your summer camp is very very different than being able to create a career, political alliances or wealth off of your beauty. Very few black women -- even high profile ones -- are able to do that.

[@lavenderteal8485]

Yes!!!!

[@ameliaaguero4096]

@Hello, Jasmine. it's more about calling out the unfairness within the system. It's not saying black women are unworthy of having a high place in general society, it's saying society operates in a way in which it's very rare to see that. Need to recognize there's a problem so we're able to give black women the support they deserve

[@cross75man75]

@Hello, Jasmine. She's pointing out a truth, it may not be a truth that you like but it's a truth none the less. The point is try to gain some wisdom from it so you can live YOUR best life.

[@6Sofia6]

@@cross75man75 Truth in USA? I heard it's not common to have travelled abroad growing up. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman regardless of "race".

[@cross75man75]

@@6Sofia6 Most places aren't as racist as the USA but it's the same in South America, Europe, Middle East, Asia, etc.. There is an hierarchy of beauty and it's based on race. People with power alway want to be perceive as beautiful no matter how ugly they are.

[@A_lilBitRatchet]

Kim, I’m only 6 minutes in to this video and truly believe that the women who put you down are likely projecting their own insecurities. Thank you for your authenticity.

[@bluecastlebunny9130]

"You probably dont have access to the structural power you think you do, and that's a hard pill to swallow" Harriet,you girl are a social genius. And just as you said this applies to men too.

[@kikibrown9548]

Your theory about these black men is spot on. I think many of them are angry about their social status and the limits it places on their ability to attract a certain type of woman. The problem is they are still sleeping with and procreating with the women they don’t want. That has had a terrible impact on the black community.

[@MarianDrayton]

Ki Ki Brown ooooooh, a WERD sis! When Kim mentioned the “post your child’s mother,” even tho she wasn’t saying it in a vindictive way, I wanted to yell “THAT’S RIGHT! Now what that ass have to say!” 😂 But, that’ll make me just as bad as their thought. So ima work on continually keepin those thoughts in my head. And among my friends. 😁

[@bobsecret199]

Men do NOT “procreate” genius! Only WOMEN do. These men are just USING a latrine for what it’s good for …and it is the WOMEN who are “procreating” with men who never even PRETENDED to want you or to start a family with your lonely asses!

[@TheLeah2344]

As a young black women, I’m still insecure and it causes issues sometimes in my relationship with my boyfriend. I grew up being bullied for my dark skin and being skinny because all black women were suppose to be curvy even though skinny was in back then in white and Asian communities. I still sometimes think I’m ugly because of my nose.

[@cleopatramyers6134]

You are a gift, perfectly imperfectly you.

[@crystalm2057]

"You do not have to be everybody’s type to live a great life. To exercise your options. To walk away at will. To preserve yourself." WHEW! A word, if I ever needed one.

[@adappermonkey7074]

"trying to reconcile what they desire, and what they prize with what they actually have access to" That hit me right in the deep deep down. I felt that.

[@MadeleineSwannSurreal]

I was so worried and confused when I saw the title! You're so right, we all spend too much time judging and breaking each other down

[@eartianwerewolf]

I know -aesthetics should be fun and about sharing. Not forcing each other into certain boxes ( I grew up with two sisters and a mom so ....yeah familial pressure to conform no fun ).

[@MadeleineSwannSurreal]

@@eartianwerewolf definitely

[@ShogunOfHarlem]

"You do not have to be everybody's type to live a great life." That's probably the most profound piece of wisdom you'll ever hear. It's applicable to everyone.

[@caburnha61]

"The cutest one in your department" 😂😂😂😂 Drag them, sis!

[@JustCallMeWah]

“The cutest one in your department” 😂😂 thank you for all that you do Kim 🖤👍🏿

[@fatimahrahman6158]

I'm 59 years old, been there and done that relating to women. I was one of the worshipped because of my looks. I avoided that trap! I now see the horrible way in which women are sold to the slavery of beauty culture, and the hierarchy created by those who want our souls and money! Keep up the great work! Your video gives me hope! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@LGnLA]

💯👏👏💯👏👏💯👏👏💯

[@sidneysid5373]

Once I understood how society perceives me and why, my confidence grew. Yes, I still have insecurities. But the opinions of others doesn't sting as much. When people talk badly about a box that I fit into, I brush it off. Basing your value as a person on society's standards is exhausting and pointless.

[@serrgggeo]

Kim you better not let any of those OTHER comments make you think that your words and wisdom is not valued.

[@redrooster3420]

[@TheRealMTR]

Your level of articulation is on another level💯

[@DEM40S]

You're on to something w your theory

[@cremesiccle]

i've never seen a more academic way of calling someone ugly than the way you just phrased 9:50 - 10:05

[@Indigenousinsight]

Elegant and academic! 😂 I think she was saying that the comment was made by a non “white” woman because European is the standard of beauty the system approves of. The person who made the comment may have been pretty, she probably had “Black” features.

[@8ThatUp2]

@@Indigenousinsight I don't think so because they're are a great deal of very unattractive white women. If it came from anyone but Kim I probably would have agreed you.

[@rubenvannijnatten]

You’re radiating intelligence and beauty.

[@cheryldenepauls1633]

Always feel so much more enlightened after watching you videos? I always saw the quote “beauty is not the rent you owe the world ” and I never understood it until I watched your videos.

[@tokyoinooshi4836]

When she said "the cutest person in your department" 😂😂😂 I died to the floor LMAO!!!!

[@nowwhat1434]

I love that you address black men’s cognitive dissonance. But I also think that’s why once men go to college or get money they stop dating black woman. They know there’s a gap between what they have and what they really want. They just stay in denial until they can change their circumstances.

[@LGnLA]

Sounds like 'unnecessary' mental games...

[@justrenee2640]

"I'm a human black woman" big Faxx...because that masculine "strong black woman who don't need no man" is tired, hurt, bored, &using "savagery" to cover her wounds

[@urbanfxshion]

You are beautiful and so confident and it inspires us all❤️

[@maggiemcfly5267]

I second that!

[@ShadaeMastersAstrology]

Venus Aderele I love your name 🥰

[@brittanynicole4370]

For real!!!!! I get this F what you think attitude when I listen to Kim lol. Truly inspiring

[@com583]

Agree

[@BeeLady-yy2ko]

Venus Aderele I ❤️ her☺️

[@TheThriftQueen]

Kim you’re beautiful and your thoughts are just as beautiful. Thank you for being a thinking woman. Very refreshing for today’s times.

[@bobsecret199]

(Sigh) Leave it up to other WOMEN to contribute to the sheer DELUSION of other women!

[@cookie22100]

I can't believe someone actually said you were "Ugly", like what? Where?🤔🧐

[@com583]

That is very true, our overall esteem as people is very low compared to other groups of people

[@SeanShimamoto]

Thank you for this video! I had ALWAYS HATED how I look. For the first 44 years of my life, I would avoid mirrors if at all possible. Only in the last 2 years have I come to realize I was wasting my time and paying attention to my small flaws, instead of all the things I should like about my body and my looks. I It’s even worse in the gay community. Other gay men can be BRUTAL to each other! I’ve had guys actually come up to me, pinch my side, and tell me, “you need to do more cardio” and “you gotta lay off the carbs”...and I’m talking about when I’m the size as my thumbnail photo! After a while, that can really destroy your self esteem. But I think the worst demographic is straight females. I don’t know why, but I see so many women tearing each other down. You can’t even believe how often I see a beautiful woman, show their photo to one of my girl friends...and the first things out of their mouths are how trashy they look, how ugly they are, she must be a hoe or a skank, etc. There’s a lot of hate out there and it’s really toxic. 😪 Conversely, I really admire women who are self confident and have no qualms about paying other women compliments. I think you’re a gorgeous woman, but the things that I find attractive in you are your INTELLIGENCE, your honesty, and your frankness...those are the things that I find attractive in men. PS - we need more Black people in Hawai’i!!! On top of African Americans being physically beautiful IMO...I love Black history, Black cuisine, Black culture, etc. I like to learn about other melanin-abundant races and their traditions and culture. 😍 Please keep putting out amazing content! I ❤️ your channel!!!

[@chikaka2012]

Sean Masami Shimamoto So true. Hawaii would be perfect if there were more black people there!

[@SeanShimamoto]

Kathy B THANK YOU!!! Hawai’i’s Black population is only 1-2%, which, IMO, is waaay too small. And I did take a bunch of African American history classes at University...my fav before Black Women Writers. It was taught by a Black woman who was married to a Japanese man. Speaking of which, my best friend in elem school was Black/Japanese...as were some of my closest friends in high school, that I still keep in touch with. PS - and we people of colour don’t age. Hehe. People don’t believe me when I tell them I’m almost 50...and yes, I took my thumbnail photo this year. 😁

[@LGnLA]

Hawaii is beautiful... but baby, when I visited the way that gas was over $5/gal and the milk or bread was $4.99... lol, I was like oooh weee Hawaii, love yall, but I gotta go back to the mainland YIKE$!! I will be back to 'visit' soon... 💯💯💯💯😆💜

[@TheBlacKrystal]

Your hair is beautiful! ......lol okay, I'll finish the video now.

[@SeanShimamoto]

Krystal Bailey It is, right?!? I have shitty, straight Asian hair...so when I see gorgeous hair like Kim’s, I just ❤️ it!

[@brithomp]

Sean Masami Shimamoto your hair isn’t shitty it’s beautiful just like hers!! you don’t have to bring yourself down to lift her up!

[@SeanShimamoto]

Brï Forrest Wow, it’s amazing how so many people on KZbin can take my words and just totally twist them. My hair and her hair aren’t dependent on one another...the fact that the beaches in Hawai’i are beautiful and the beaches in Oakland are ugly don’t have anything to do with each other. My hair is just ugly, so I shave my head...it’s not putting myself down, it’s just being real with myself...and it has NOTHING to do with Kim’s hair being beautiful. That was really SJW of you to try to put me down by creating a non-existent correlation.

[@brithomp]

Sean Masami Shimamoto lmao I was trying to compliment you I do apologize if my message was misconstrued but alrighty

[@shaunciequinones5077]

@@brithomp wtf is his problem lmao

[@nhiocazafargupta6560]

Your parents should be PROUD OF YOU!!!!!! You are so SMART AND WELL CENTERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@sinontherocks]

Kim is like my big sister even though I’m pretty sure I’m older than her 😂😂

[@universetrip6766]

Truth. We can't change or improve our lots in this world without first being aware of our "place" in it.

[@urbanfxshion]

HATERS GON HATE🤥

[@thebrandauthoritypublisher]

Hey! I'm a book editor and you should definitely get started on writing the books you have in your head. It's a great way to keep the legacy of Harriet, belle hooks, and of your work!

[@999love20]

When you mentioned the whole “date your audience” thing, it made me think about white women like the Kardashians and how they’ve lowkey been doing this for a while. They notice they aren’t the standard of beauty for the rich white man and the European standard of beauty. But, they are aware that black men adore them and see them as exotic and beautiful, therefore, they market themselves and their image more to black men. (Their bodies, lips, etc.) And when they do that, they manage to get the most successful black men they can find to date them, then procreate with, which is essentially what Kim did with Kanye, and now all his wealth is going into the Kardashian/Jenner Empire. Idk if this was comparable to the point you were making, but this was the first thing that came to my mind, that other races of women are very aware who their target audience are, and make themselves more marketable to the best version of that audience. Not saying to change yourself for men, but it seems to be something every other race of women seems to know about in some way, and black women rarely ever adopt that idea or acknowledge it in the same way.

[@nstar1372]

Who should black women gear to? As far as an audience!?

[@abstractalbatross6291]

When you said "...fail to deliver an easily consumable beauty..." I laughed, because just think about it, if you can't observe someone's nuanced beauty, that doesn't make them ugly, that just makes the critic unable to understand, or they haven't matured enough. Like tryna give a child some caviar, or fine cheese.

[@Bronwyn-cf3um]

What an elegant read! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 And, your intelligence, grace and beauty are transcendent.

[@borgcube2598]

I'm trying really hard to find a less corny way to say "you are the greatest person alive" and maybe less hyperbolic but same energy.

[@redrooster3420]

Honestly, this comment is really sweet. hope you have a wonderful day

[@design401]

I always look at who's saying stuff....In my experience, it's always the people who don't believe they are attractive themselves... They have such high standards.. It's like why???

[@randomartist3599]

To be really honest: you look pretty, just not the kind of pretty you see online. I have chosen to not consume aesthetically pleasing women online for a while now (I have no Instagram, I don't watch pornographic content and I prefer reading over watching movies). My confidence has escalated a lot and I can now see how "real" people look like. Not the ones with the filters or the plastic surgeries. Just people who you see everyday and you will meet for most of your life. Suddenly, your perspective changes along with your beauty standards. Your flaws are not flaws anymore, just reality and you start appreciating other things than aesthetics on you and on others Not shame on those who like plastic surgery or aesthetics BTW. Not promoting hippism or anything. I just think people should lay down their phones and look around at the real world a bit more often.

[@graciem6562]

Gosh, I really wish there were more people like you! I am the same in the sense that I prefer living in the real world than living in an online reality where everything has to be done up for "the gram". I'm not gonna lie, I like dressing up for the gram some times, but most times I just like existing...but most people, especially those my age, don't appreciate that as deeply as I do. I notice increasingly that when I'm in public, social settings or just with an intimate group of friends, everyone is always on their phones.. and it annoys me to my core. I just want everyone to, like you nicely put it, "lay down their phones and look around at the real world a bit more often." Sadly, I think society is just going to get worse.. *sigh*

[@rimahasan8978]

All the love from syria.. you rock

[@MrLakers92]

✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾

[@zinab2blessa]

آه في ناس غيري بيحكو عربي بيتابعوها🥰✊🏾✊🏾

[@rimahasan8978]

zinab2blessa ايه زينب.. تشرفت ب معرفتك

[@theotherevilmonkey72]

Kinda obsessed with the way you articulate your points and ideas, if you taught a class in it I would definitely attend for sure

[@kyrathedestroyer_]

this look 😍 here for it lol. but, i remembered that when you spoke about colorism you mentioned how some say “oh that’s an ugly girl issue.” this just reminded of that.

[@elizabethv.1276]

you are so well spoken i feel like im in a college lecture and i love it

[@SomethingLikeThat64]

“ Put 👏🏽 Some 👏🏽 Respect 👏🏽 On 👏🏽 My 👏🏽 Name” !!!! Yes!

[@archerrising9947]

You are so graceful with the read

[@anoushadewan]

You were definitely in your element today. You stood your ground effortlessly. It was lovely to watch.

[@kiswahilikitukuzwe2547]

Wow! I just discovered this channel and I have to admit, based on this particular vlog alone, you are the most inspirational and most articulate social commentator I have ever come across. Keep the good work sis!

[@crystalpowell6633]

Girl!!! Your ability to articulate MY THOUGHTS about beauty hierarchy blows me away. You are awesome and beautiful- not that I needed to say it. (Drops the mic)

[@pharmunique]

I cannot even articulate how much I love your content. Your content feeds my soul.

[@Boahemaa]

I've never known a beautiful person who called anyone ugly. "You don't need to be everybody's type"~I feel like you stole my motto. "I'm not for everyone".

[@bobsecret199]

(Sigh) I’ve known MANY “beautiful person’s” who called ugly people “ugly!” Just because someone is “beautiful” that does not mean that they have to be disingenuous or lie about their perspective or opinion, which they are fully entitled to!

[@ChrisBrooks34]

Basically Kim is saying despite what I discuss, I'm still out here living my best life.

[@liddogreen]

I don’t often post comments, but I watch every single one of your videos. This video encapsulates the excellence of your content. You flawlessly balance humor, empirical evidence, theory, and emotion (among other things) perfectly in this video and all of your other videos. The work you do and talent you possess is very evident in your content.

[@redrooster3420]

Completely agree!

[@whitneyhedrick]

I too thoroughly enjoy dissecting beauty culture...and I’m a damn beauty channel! I am fascinated, annoyed, and terrified of it all at the same time. I shared your beauty video loud and proud. I’ve never seen that topic articulated so well and I applaud you for ALL of your content. Mad MAD respect xo

[@madisonj5136]

whitney hedrick just checking out your channel. It’s amazing, I was planning to make channel like yours because I never see beauty gurus talking about certain topics when it comes to beauty. You got a new subscriber. I see great things happening in your future 💕

[@whitneyhedrick]

Wow! Thank you so so much!!!!!

[@Ms.MD7]

Yay, it's nice to see you on here, I watch your channel too

[@yespls4184]

I'm really glad that you speak so fearlessly and honestly about this subject; it's probably frustrating to constantly receive that type of backlash. This is the type of thing that needs to be discussed and sometimes it's so difficult to put into words, but you do it so well

[@lovesue86]

😂 Sis, I’m not even talking about you. 😂😂😂😂😂

[@yesrelationthesequel]

The moment you put up the "Beauty is a bad investment" video (great video by the way) I knew you were going to run into a good amount of messy vitriol. Your rebuttal to that vitriol is compelling and makes me think deeply about how we tend to erroneously focus our critiques of a person's ideas onto their physical being rather than examine and meditate on the idea itself. That lack of wanting to do the work or not having the wherewithal to do the said work of questioning these standards limits our thinking and ability to more constructively critique in so many ways and it's a shame when we lean on being ugly to one another because of that.

[@toibeacham3863]

I am too tickled🤣🤣🤣! When you said that you clicked on some of the pictures of the women that commended negatively on your post...and you said that you weren’t referring to them, I screamed!!!!! I almost knocked down a Walmart displayed with my shopping cart. These folks are about to call security on me🤣🤣🤣

[@trae_the_Arrogant89]

I love hearing your voice and work. And your vocabulary is perfect. Great work

[@MeghanStark]

Man, you rule! Long time watcher, not sure if I've ever commented. Your criticisms and talking points are so precise and well thought out, and the truth bombs are unreal. Thanks for doing what you do, and for thriving while you do it!

[@donstarfinkel6456]

In 2019 with social media, men are affected by these issues too ... believe me !

[@zinab2blessa]

I know. I would love to see more videos about that too.

[@nowwhat1434]

Don Starfinkel really??? I wanna hear about this.

[@BlissandFaith]

How? Please elaborate, because there obviously aren't enough men speaking on theses issues.

[@donstarfinkel6456]

@@BlissandFaith Males face pressure everyday on social media. Lets start with the pressure to be a baller, and if you dont have the money then you better at least look like Edris.. Think about the guys that are posted in the shade room, their aesthetics are impossible to achieve. You got it or you dont. Pressure to be masculine, and if your NOT conventionality masculine than your looked at as less than.... Oh, and dont even get me started on Egg Plants and grey sweat pants 🤦🏽‍♂️. A lot of males dont talk about it because they are worried about being percieved as weak or feminine in manner.. But trust me, men are just as insecure.

[@donstarfinkel6456]

@@BlissandFaith I agree more men need to talk about it. I guess, how could we when emotional vulnerability=Punk, to most women.

[@fabrisseterbrugghe8567]

I love the phrase "I am my own target audience."

[@joneschelsea118]

Sis don’t be bothered by those trolls!!! Most of us support you and your content! 91k and growing understand you 💜 I don’t always agree with everything but I definitely get a different perspective and an education while watching your videos. Thank you for your content

[@candacesumpter6786]

Sis, you're beautiful. And what's more, you're so intelligent. I've noticed when the insecure can't match wit with a person, they reach for appearance instead. You touched on so many valid points in this post.

[@sharonqaranivalu5152]

(70yr) Young lady, you are so cute and I love your makeup today...so soft. Love your views...so insightful. Sure your mother is very proud of you.

[@woadoanoa9578]

You are literally my role model . A intelligent , beautiful, well spoken black women .

[@dinkyboss]

What you said about the power of understanding your place in the world....GIRL!!! I’ve been trying to put to words that exact point for a while but you nailed it! It’s crucial to understand that knowing how the world perceives you should not make you insecure but as you said, it keeps you from going crazy! As usual you’re spot on 💕

[@jamesr9040]

Damn! You are always opening my eyes. Every. Time! Thank you for your talks. As a multi-racial, minority gay man, your talks are so relevant to my community as well. Our conventional attractiveness is directly proportional to our value. An added complexity to our interactions are the different expectations that our gay community places on us while we were brought up in the mainstream mindset. Only we can determine what's right for us.

[@yirapatricia]

"A hall a lot of men have little access to patriarchal power and they decided to lash out at women and try to degrade women to made themselves feel better" Do you publish books? This is gold (Hope I understood every word, English is not my first language)

[@always2day]

Damm girl, I'm in literal awe of how you made me look into myself. I admire and aspire to be as articulate and intelligent as you. Discovering your channel is pure gold.

[@MsJack-id3ms]

I always find myself clicking the 'like' button a few seconds into your videos. Plus you're so refreshing.

[@philippianforty-eight2906]

I showed this to my 10 year old daughter. Keep up the good work.

[@angelaroberts2882]

“ You do not have to be everybody’s type to live a great life!” BOOM!!!! Ok, I’m sold, I need that book TODAY sis 🙋🏽‍♀️

[@annieandkathbitches]

You are talking about something that encompasses all women and is one of the most important things in our lives, whether or not we acknowledge it. People react with anger because what you're saying is 1. true, 2. very painful, and 3. seldom, if ever, discussed. Thank you so much! Please write that book.

[@Bindi_Marc]

12:43 I felt that in my spirit.