FORMULA for WHY Men Seem Creepy

[@mtlicq]

subbed. Excellent points that most other advisors ignore. PLEASE make a video to help teach us how to develop rapport.

[@gregharn1]

It's simple: if she finds you attractive, your behavior's not creepy.

[@theharlowmethod]

Thanks for the comment man! Attraction is part of it for sure. But, a woman can still be comfortable in a conversation with a man she doesn't initially find attractive. If that guy can successfully build trust and rapport, attraction can begin to develop, opening the door to establishing romantic intentions. You can also be creepy even if a girl finds you initially attractive. If you skip the rapport-building process and immediately jump to asking for a phone number or a kiss or immediately jump to commenting on her body, this would also be considered creepy by many women.

[@gregharn1]

@@theharlowmethod doesn't matter. Once she engages the council of friends, if they don't approve, she instantly relabels you as a creep.

[@theharlowmethod]

Hmm. Is this something you experienced personally? You're right that peer approval is important in the initial stages of attraction, but women are notorious for dating men that their friends disapprove of or find unattractive. I saw it all the time working in bars and restaurants. Generally, if a man is labeled a creep, the title was given because romantic intentions were pursued after the female signaled that she was uninterested. Believe me, women are perfectly capable of rejecting a guy yet still seeing him in a "nice" or "pleasant" light.

[@gregharn1]

@@theharlowmethod Myself & every guy I know. 1st couple of dates (or the 1st date itself) goes well, communication continues, then what's today called ghosting. The council of friends did not approve. You're not just dating her, you're dating her friends too (not literally, for the window lickers). Whole comedy sketches even call attention to this phenomenon.

[@theharlowmethod]

@@gregharn1 hmm I think it’s important we make a distinction between being ghosted and being labeled a creep. As someone who was very active in dating (100’s of first dates) and as someone with many friends who found success in dating, I can say for certain that the influence of friends alone does not determine if a woman keeps seeing a man. In fact, I often listen to my wife’s friends talk about the men they’re meeting on Hinge and I’ve noticed that the females friends do a lot more listening than telling. Personally, I’ve found success by not working in absolutes, and instead, leaning on introspection, gaining knowledge, and personal growth.

[@shadowjewel]

The key word is boundaries; doing or saying anything that in some way breaks a boundary, or implies the intention to do so, or states or implies a disregard for boundaries, is creepy. What those boundaries are depends on what kind of relationship you already have is, the person's sex, the environment, the level of attraction, and their culture (though many are innate, culture does vary things particularly when it comes to expectations).

[@theharlowmethod]

I agree 100%. That's part of the delicate dance of courtship. It's recognizing what level of comfort, trust, and attraction has been achieved, and escalating the interaction accordingly. The more trust and attraction that's been developed, the more bold men can be in pursuing romantic intentions.