Ep. 10 - Being anti-romance, weird fems, f*ckboy behavior, etc. // SUPERTIME ft.

[@SpongeMixify]

This was an amazing conversation, I was literally hooked in the first minute. Please do more of these! To see 3 black queer folks just having a chat about real shit. Representation off the charts. edit: the part about feeling 'unwanted' resonated with me and I'm glad i'm not alone in that feeling.

[@ssspit]

same

[@spigilogan]

The world needs more of this!

[@LibraTransitioned]

Yes!

[@Wastedtime599]

3:40 The way y’all simultaneously put down your drink to answer that bomb of a question Jade threw out 😭😭

[@ayathasan9090]

Bruh jade starting the episode with “I feel like I’m in relationships with people who don’t like me too much” hit sooooo harddddd bruh come on now, let me get my drink too bahahah Love your podcast!! Love your vibes!! I’m binder listening to all your episodes rn

[@slaysweetie21]

Maybe the effort in relationships look corny to some ppl is cause they never got tht from their parents? 😭

[@liastorm795]

Yup! A lot of things stem from childhood trauma, neglect, etc.

[@venusdabratt]

@@liastorm795 so true which is why i only like to date ppl who go to therapy bc i don't need anyone projecting their childhood traumas onto me yikes!

[@heresene]

Yes, we know 🙄😢

[@dvaughn1990]

talk about it!!! therapy cleared that right up

[@femmefataleracer]

this was an amazing conversation that we just witnessed. so good. truly beautiful.

[@kdennis2461]

Jade you're really a brilliant moderator and conversationalist. I admire you for that. Thank you all for this wonderful conversation. I needed it ❤️

[@MsAaannaaa]

as a shy femme top I find this episode so important.

[@liastorm795]

Amen👏🏽

[@Taromilktea1995]

Wait shy femme top? Are you me?

[@1Prettypinke84]

I've been dating women only since 2012, (26 years old)and it took me many years and failed relationships to truly understand how to treat my partner as another woman and not expect them to respond like men. I'm 38 now and in my 4th lesbian relationship, with a woman who is masculine representing but is so feminine and all woman and I now know how to honor and love that for what is. I think before I did put pressure on my partners to not be so "soft". It took shadow work for me to take accountability and see the error of my ways creating a space where my partners didn't feel safe being themselves and having that duality. Now that I know that.....this is the most honest and open relationship with no stereotypical gender roles I've ever been in.

[@sofiairigoyen9888]

what a beautiful and introspective conversation. thank you sm for deconstructing the intimacy of hookup culture. it’s such a plague on college campuses and as an emotional hopeless romantic, i want to connect w whoever im laying next to but that’s not always mutual. i love your insight on being vulnerable with whoever you’re with-“you both like each other, why not act like it?” ❤️ thx for the brain food + validation

[@dscvrart]

interesting topics ! I think it's super important for us as a community to address the traumas we've had from people "experimenting" or so on ..

[@uznamalunga]

"just because we are not in a relationship it doesn't mean that there can't be romance" One thing I always loved about Jade is the coherence, the ability to put things everybody feels into a sentence that makes sense and translates feelings we always had but never knew how to explain. Thank you Jade. Kisses from Mozambique África

[@maycoleman7348]

I’m a backpack girl! I have never understood why people wanna be robots if I’m sharing our temples, love or not were worshipping each other and this experience. This is how I show respect to you, myself and comfort in my own sexuality!

[@iamjadefox]

cmon templessss

[@sheilaramirez4488]

50 seconds into the video and i need to say Jade's outfit is fire! And love love Arrows haircut

[@rosesinthegard3n]

putting this in my "watch when you're sad" playlist

[@Lonniebedoinganything]

Can you guys please talk about the unwanted weird tension between masculine presenting women right when we met? I always put my best foot forward and being nice and it’s always this weird competitive thing.

[@angryarrows]

i get this and wanna speak to this when i have words.

[@blvckqueer7477]

I used to do this but I don't anymore. I caught myself earlier this year when I almost acted out of my masc programming and greeted the other masc woman who was trying to just walk next to me and be my friend. It takes a lot of unlearning. It's hard especially since I've been betrayed by most of the lesbians friends I've had.

[@Loveonmysleeve]

Very weird faux-alpha energy.

[@jasminerosewater3891]

I've definitely seen that shit!!!! Definitely a territorial thing it's a mess

[@StopSeekingValidation]

Are you surprised 😮 😳 🤔 ? I mean you are pretending too be a scientifically/authentic man, it’s no different than those men who are pretending too be women but they’re only generic illusions who will never be, so therefore it will always be dysfunction amongst such people.

[@dmars9942]

I love how this always comes when it comes

[@nym5qu17]

"its like we're already these gay people why are we putting on these other constraints" as a bi dude I feel this. The classic like, "acting straight" or "acting gay" around certain groups to get them to accept "the way you are" when it's completely false.

[@Come_AsYouAre]

@6:45 completely agree with everything u guys r saying here ! And its so v sad it seems to b a mixture of internalised homophobia n also Misogyny which nearly always go hand in hand, but i just think its so horrible that people start to project those insecurities onto there lovers maybe some do it subconsciously as-well but i think its a reminder to really self reflect before getting into a relationship and unpick any of those inner internalised critizisms of very human things such as duality in gender . Thank u for shedding light on ure expereinces , proud of u all -sending love n healing❤

[@kmiknik4861]

this convo broke my slow clap record and gave me hope for my thirties. damn.

[@AdventurousDana]

Short lived romance! Love that concept and believe it’s totally possible when expectations are clearly established upfront and agree it depends on the people’s emotional capacity involved. ❤

[@Beautifullyaberrant]

I agree, I think we expect things to last us for the rest of our lives far too often and it takes away from the now.

[@malaikanaomi1408]

You‘re like my internet older cousins/aunties/piblings/uncels. I’m 20 and queer and I‘ve only really been exploring this since about a year. And being able to listen to y’all’s conversations helped me so much. I went through all those stages of uu I need to be so masc and only date femme girls etc. To fuck it I’m gender fluid, intersex and like multiple genders, I have a male partner rn who spoils me and makes me really happy. And I don’t care about not seeming queer enough or what ppl might think. Thank you so much for helping me not waste a lot of time being caught up in weird ideas but learning from your „mistakes“

[@Felixfiefdom]

I resonated a lot with the comment about "witholding" romance can be unfulfilling to both people. If there are conversations had where both people know it's just a one night stand, then why can't romance/intimacy/care be part of the sex? I too get confused by people who say "I only do that with my girlfriend/boyfriend". It's enjoyable, it shows the care two people have for each other, so why deprive yourselves of a nice mutual time? I don't see it as fuckboy behavior.

[@AdventurousDana]

Wow, so much precious insight dropped in this convo. Would have never known about the “code switching” required and unfair expectations that you all have to experience. We all just want to be our most open, comfortable, authentic selves and be genuinely appreciated for it. Thank you for allowing us to learn from you all! ❤

[@jadedvisions26]

I’m so so so here for this content ! A masc presenting being embracing themselves in their entirety = chef’s kiss 💕

[@LibraTransitioned]

We're growing up with you guys and thats amazing.

[@a.monetlewis4779]

Excellent description (22:56) Jade. And especially the boundary quote of like "hey, i like you, I like romancing. I don't wanna be in a committed/long term relationship but I would still like to enjoy my time with you". When you said that was "missing the first time" it made me feel like it was meant for me. I enjoy dating around especially right now being single so this video was great advice on intentionality and how to move forward the best you can. Thank you ALSO You should make a video depicting the differences between dating, relationship, committed relationship, open relationship and polyamorous. Best, Monét

[@pardonmyphresh82]

I absolutely loved this! I felt like I was there in the room having this conversation with y’all! ❤

[@rickyomondi7809]

I was having a depressing episode before i watched this and now I feel that i can be me, unapologetically 🥰. ILY guys

[@iamjadefox]

hope you're alright

[@FocalPointElisa]

Understanding how attachment style plays into relationships really "clears alot of behavior up".

[@abigailrostant9845]

Best Supertime yet! Let’s talk about it 💅🏽I needed this!

[@fatmata.binta.b]

The way wine glasses were set down at 3:47 chiiiiile, Jade & Sprat said "lets get into it" 💀💞

[@sammydarko11]

I was so excited when I seen Sprat is here we follow eachother on ig. This conversation needed to be had fr I definitely relate bruh. It’s hard out here for us Masc. I’ve been single for about 3 years because I don’t have the time for the let down with relationship issues and the endless cycle of trauma bonding lmao.

[@MagnoliaPantherWoman]

I enjoyed this, especially how you're relaxing into free expression including romance. Your definition of romance as caring and enjoying another's joy is refreshing to hear.

[@macmcc]

That was a great conversation! The three of you play so well off eachother 😄

[@ejeanbaptiste]

You know when you're gonna have sex. The vibes are there and everything just flows and isn’t forced. With the one night stand thing we are taught the person is disposable and fulfills a need at the time, so we shouldn't treat them like someone you love. And because we don't want them to think it's going to lead to something more. Gotta establish if it's a one night stand or f*ck buddy relationship. Conversations need to be had when it comes to sexual intimacy. I'm 41, and thinking back to my 20s I didn't have the emotional intelligence to have these conversations with sexual or even romantic partners.

[@jilliandavis4895]

Li

[@nikkibleh8045]

Men with painted fingernails and crop tops really are living their best lives right now. I love it

[@kimwang2787]

This was so necessary. The vulnerability , compassion,respect❤❤❤

[@ImLuvinMe001]

22:11 naur i was this person once 😭 and i used to feel guilty but i love romance and connecting with people! but there has to be a certain level of connection that makes me want to commit to someone.

[@liastorm795]

Great conversations and discussions! These are the topics need discussing in our community👏🏽🦋♥️

[@MementoVivere.]

Damn Lmfao I felt this 😭 non-binary person tired of being two people before dating a man. Go get you a man and leave us alone 😂 Had younger me out here dressing bland and not using moisturizer.

[@liastorm795]

Lmaoooooo I’m screaming🤣🤣🤣 Because that shit low key tragic af that people essentially force other people into a space they’re not comfortable with. Like this women really be wanting biological males😂

[@esp_09]

this talk was so healing and necessary

[@DoveyTheWriter]

Jade you took me out with there better not be a ceiling fan in the room at arrows riding lmao.😩😂😂 Im always waiting for a cute tall or back joke about arrows.😂😂

[@ashleyakt]

Absolutely loved this style of video - the flow felt so natural and was fun, refreshing, deep, and informative. I hope you all do this again!

[@juniperfox1064]

this is the first episode of your show i have watched and i’m definitely going to keep watching! i’m only 22 but i relate a lot to this conversation. maybe that’s why i’m with someone older.

[@LondonBroilSandwiches]

I really appreciated the navigating romance while dating segment. Thanks for posting!

[@chironsthea607]

Namaste, om shanti. Thank you for the vulnerability and vibe tings. :)

[@TheMadsonblfanatic]

The conversations yal have are soooooo necessary ❤ thank you so much for sharing 🔥🔥🔥

[@fruitloopmobilelube]

Yooo i feel soo seen ! I love thisss ! Thank y’all!

[@yarnellyelle]

OH WHAT AN EPISODE

[@kiannarose844]

"This is a healing episode" .! Please do another episode

[@user-df3kp9nn7b]

Loved this topic. Feedback though, hopefully constructive: The mic-ing setup. Volume's a lot softer than the average video on KZbin, so when I crank it up, any time someone laughs, it's suddenly too loud. 🙏🏼

[@HellaReckless]

I still feel like nobody will miss me. At 29 tho I’ve become okay with that. (Amongst friend groups, not family. I’m grateful for my family)

[@fadedandfrustrated]

This felt like getting to sit with + get advice from the queer big cousins i always wish I'd had 🥺 ty for this 💓

[@iridescentlytey4933]

Okay the romance part is so true oh my god 😩 y’all really made my head explode

[@abbiasante]

I always like your videos before I watch them & im never dissatisfied

[@unaccompaniedminds]

Such a great episode ✨ we need more honest conversations like this in the real world

[@kaiya33123]

This was such an amazing episode!!!❤❤❤ So grateful for this converation because these topics within the community really really aren't discussed and it's really helpful for my own journey so thank you ❤🥰

[@groweve]

ohh this ate, bc i fear i'm in the early era and needed to hear some of these things🫣

[@simsbanshee]

more of this! but take some time and create a dope ass podcast setup with mics cuz its hard as hell to hear everyone in this

[@sabinaboisineau4827]

Such a solid supertime, definitely starting to have this switch and conversations in my mid-late twenties

[@rmboothe]

Loved every thought expressed here

[@TaelorHigh]

been watching u n Arrows since highschool circa the infamous back of uber cereal debate, sending love keep up the great work!! 😂❤️

[@DeepthroatC]

Should I relate to this as a non-binary male present pansexual being? probably not. but do I? the fuck yes. Y'all are amazing, keep up with being and giving your genuine selves and thoughts, we love to see and hear it 🙏🏽

[@kissy0k8]

I remember that “backpack with the sensuals” story lol The girl got a train, went home and came back. Dang…that was years ago. I’ve been watching y’all for a minute.

[@charliesangel1121]

When they said they were 34 and I’m 34 and I’ve had a crush for literal years 🥰 I loved this. 😊

[@liastorm795]

You look 24!

[@Kaytothebizzay]

I appreciate each tanget Arrows goes on.

[@SapphireMoon999]

Sending you all love and healing incandescent light♥️✨

[@moniquebyrd9015]

Arrows is giving Fin from girlfriends the guy that Lynn was obsessed with ( the musician or poet) whatever he was, hell I don’t even know if that was his name lol but great convo

[@Cravenn5]

Epic❣️ This was real time even for a straight girl…. Lol for me. Romance definition depends on the person~ The romance can only come from my heart of love if I indeed love you❣️

[@ziwagwatidzo9520]

Love this laid back style of talking

[@vking2760]

Raquel Willis said: "Regardless of your gender identity, my hope is that you divest from the cisheteropatriarchy. You can’t win. You will never be man enough or women enough within these systems of oppression. Our nonbinary siblings fiercely remind us of this truth all of the time." Very similar to what Arrows says here about rigid gender norms.

[@bingbongalong]

what a good conversation, thank you

[@morgang.5159]

I would love to be friends w/ y'all you all seem so cool😩

[@domoniquep2176]

So Jade- yes to the red table idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously.

[@Once.A.Violet]

I definitely based my identity on how I felt i should have presented as when dating women. when like Arrow said,, Femme me a fwoiinnne. ..Now im almost in my 30s and i do want to get back to my more masculine side

[@sheilaramirez4488]

one of my favorite episodes of suppertime for sure!

[@organizewithlu]

I was just talking to someone last night about how traumatic it can be when a woman dates a man after you."She claimed to be a lesbian." Le sigh.

[@FranMnguni]

1 minute in and I'm crying wow thanks lol ♥

[@terejosh13]

Spank you very much I needed this today have a good one ❤

[@dominique9934]

This whole anti-romance... you're giving too much attention isn't just happening in the gay community.. straight men are hearing this from women too... They call men simps gay/straight for being attentive, giving gifts, and showing positive affection. I don't get people in the dating scene right now.

[@janetsworld9734]

I hear mostly men call other men simps, I see and hear it on the regular with young men. Rarely from women tbh.

[@dominique9934]

@@janetsworld9734 I think it is crazy for anyone to be called a simp. Good people are hard to find in the dating scene.

[@janetsworld9734]

@@dominique9934 yes very weird concept the word simp and I really dislike that this is such a common word. Effort is admirable

[@jessieavila1868]

the ceiling fan comment has me dead 😭😭😭😭😭

[@mosagoldylocks3326]

This episode right here!!! WORK

[@LemonGreenism]

But at the end of the day, people are going to love who they love. It’s our own job to protect ourselves by basically making better choice for ourselves, because at the end of the day everyone do love the same kind of femme as well. It’s toxic too, it’s a double blade situation

[@dchristian1021]

❤❤ this was great

[@ladylove3870]

This was awesome!

[@lauryndesiree5470]

yo. i can’t way until i have the thought “are they doing too much?” then realizing “nah. i love this.”

[@measchueax]

" Do y'all fell like being masc has skewed the way you feel like you should be treated?" not speaking for y'all, but trying to love a mass presenting anything is really a lot of work ESPECIALLY mass presenting women.. again not speaking on y'all, but wtf be wrong wit em???!!!

[@iamjadefox]

we need therapy, WE KNOW 😂

[@lovelight8722]

I think it has to do with what Spat said about having to be “hard” in a sense like a man to be loved on as a masc women by women who claimed to love women. I’m feminine presenting but I’ve seen the type of relationships my masc friends have been in. Some of the women treated them like absolute crap on top of that majority were “experimenting” and they’d say things like “I’ve never liked women before but I like you” which sounds like a compliment at first I guess until they expect you to act like a man and so the masc women never feels like they can be their true authentic selves and that trickles down to the next relationship and the next and the next. Yeap, the community is traumatized I swear 😅

[@measchueax]

@@iamjadefox 🤣

[@Mr_GentleWOman]

This episode was amazing!! 💜

[@esp_09]

Jade has such good questions and is so observant

[@dreambluntrot8n]

this is the most wonderful thing i've ever watched. i feel gay euphoria

[@cosplayergal]

My thing is: just be honest! And communicate. If you want to have romantic flings and you know it’s not relationship material, SAY that! So the other person has the option to consent to that dynamic. That way there is no villain, no fuxkboy. Everyone knew going in ❤

[@meatisboring1708]

my healing is realizing no one is responsible for your trauma, you have to deal with that

[@Rebecca-sc7rd]

Please do more of these

[@ghameerah]

needed this

[@mos2505]

can I jus live for the Jade/Ari Riffs…. I want a weekly show where they bring on guests and talk about pop culture and how queer folks navigate these times

[@iamchannellingjoy]

This was so gooood!!!!!

[@chaviiita]

Never have subscribed to the thought that masc presenting women should ignore/delete their femininity. I have see much more toxic masculine presenting women who perpetuate this need to be that way assuming that femmes need saving or taking this daddy role. etc Its having a conversation with your partner.

[@NediBailon]

Yo this intro is exactly how I've been feeling from the jump! oooweee too much of thise smh

[@Lexi-ol6yy]

I’m going to run into Jade one day, tell her I’ve been watching her videos since middle school, and share a quick vibe

[@iamjadefox]

i look forward to it =)