Frank Yang Q&A - How to get over an ex 如何應用神經科學忘記一個前男/女友

/ biggerstrongerweirder
www.vimeo.com/Digitalairair
translated by Karen

[@bertstarington7159]

I always had this illusion that things would eventually work out with my ex. Today was the day I could finally let go, I walked for one hour outside with some music and after some thinking I was getting a smile on my face. I got this tingly sensation over my whole body and it felt good! I got it like 4 times and everytime it felt better Like I was shaking off the connection. When I got home I took a shit, this wasn't a normal shit. I was pooping out the connections I had for my ex. I feel great.

[@frankyang]

You are a great man.

[@neurokid1]

So true Frank!! I hate how i'm constantly thinking about my ex. She took the easy way out and found someone else.

[@frankyang]

But sometimes even if you think you got over a person, when you try to become friends with her again, old wounds can still be felt since SOMe the neurons reconnected.

[@Smash3x]

Everything you post makes so much sense. You really are a man of wisdom and your videos are fucking awesome.

[@frankyang]

Like how you get over someone, the mechanism is the same - either they slowly lost interest (weakening of the neurons that were "passionate" for this person) or something else (new map) took over the brain space

[@RsSlay]

I really liked this video man, not that I don't enjoy your other videos, but this is some really good advice

[@robertzhang2608]

franks affect in this video is mad funny, very srs/authentic/etc. thanks frank been wanting to hear you make a video about this for a while

[@shimminess]

Hey frank This video is awesome You put this in a very logical manner and it all really makes sense when you put in into practice Thanks man

[@frankyang]

yes its called the michelangelo effect. i was gonna mention it but i forgot

[@HeyYorkah]

KEEP DOING WHAT UR DOING LOVE UR VIDS MAN! thanks fir making this one. Subscribed4life

[@frankyang]

Glad to help

[@frankyang]

Because it makes my brain feel good.

[@Allan_Flows]

That was solid advice. For anybody who has been through a situation like this, you understand what Frank is saying and can comprehend the need for willpower.

[@frankyang]

It's not like anything I said is purely bro science anyway, a lot of it is aligned with modern science, it's an act of using simple logic to use science to apply to your own situation. What do you want me to do so I can use these words? Go to a lab and have my brain scanned and compare it with my girlfriend's every month?

[@ctaingster]

hey frank, really insightful video and you translated all the things I've been feeling. Any books you recommend that helps get through this situation or perhaps adds some newfound self awareness?

[@GirthGod]

I just got out of a four year relationship..no big fight..no deception..we just werent progressing..i felt like i was moving in slow motion..its so easy to fall back into whats comfortable..even when you know its not whats best..thanks for the post frank..it helps to hear someone else talk about what your going through.

[@frankyang]

read it. great book

[@Peja261]

Man your videos are amazing! The only sad part is that probably more than 50% of the people that are watching your videos dosn't understand them.

[@frankyang]

you can;t mention the words "neuron" and "brain" in a philosophical observation? STRONG LOGIC! Even in a purely subjective case,a cheerleading can come home from practice and say "Damn my neurons are tired!" and she wouldn't be wrong either. Or if without proper diagnose, a powerlifter yelled "my hamstring is FUCKED!" after a big pull isn't prohibited either. What words do you want me to use then? invent new ones?

[@bertstarington7159]

Thank you for this vid anyways, it made me come to this conclusion. Feelsgood

[@Drunkenmoose]

I am dealing with this now; I'm probably at 25% left of re-wiring. Let me tell you that it hurts so ba to feel betrayed, duped, hurt. It's all painful and seems impossible to recover from. But it can and will happen so get through it the best you can. Good job for being vulnerabe and loving :) I am now having to create/rediscover who/what this thing is (who I am). It's kind of fun after a while. For anyone that's going through a breakup: stay resilient, stay strong and reach out for others when you feel you need it. Good luck

[@joey88906]

How are you doing 5 years later?

[@blackishlovah123]

Welcome back sweet prince.

[@vihodanyet]

I met one of closest best friends about 2 years ago online. She was a beautiful human being with ana amzing mind and we shared so manh thoughts and connections. About 6 months ago we started to become really attracted to eachother and decided to be in a relationship but keep it private. I visited her country and stayed with her for a month and we instantly fell super in love. It was the best time of my life so far. Now nearly 2 months after leaving her because of arguments and my possesiveness and jealousy, i was making her feel unhappy. She decided she wanted to breakup.. She broke up with me a week ago now. I tried hard to talk to her for 3/4 days but she put up a wall and told me we needed to let go and forget about the past. I've lost not only the most amazing girl in my life, someone who i feel was more special than anyone ive ever met. But also ive lost a best friend and someone who i could tell everything. we texted almost everyday for almost 2 years and now there is nothing. Her mom told me to give her space and that i ruined jt. Such a huge transition in my life suddenly and it feels like its come out of nowhere. Idk what to do. I dont feel like i want anything in life anymore. I been having extreme mood swings where 1 minute i feel motivated to learn and move forward and then next minute i cant help but think fuck whats the point.

[@nickpumpeth]

How you doing now brah?

[@BackwardshturT]

lol

[@Thelumpycamel]

holy shit brah

[@lukaj1n]

Hey, awesome words. Could you expand on where/how you learned game?

[@6AM96]

Oh my god, you got any advice for me? I'm sort of in the same situation as you..

[@frankyang]

yea u are giving a mini withdrawal. Same thing that i talked about

[@dkblade27]

Do more videos like this. A bit more serious with knowledgeable relatable stuff. =]

[@tidora]

Frank, I dunno whether it's the onset of some LSD I took or something else, but I love this video, (not for relationship) but for how insightful/enlightening it is, even though it's quite basic.

[@Doblado27]

You are a genius Mr. Yang.

[@frankyang]

There are good addictions and then there are bad addictions, and then good addictions that passed the diminishing return point and becomes detrimental to your life, so it's really just a flexible word that isn't always negative (at least in my book ) lol

[@gernandsameh4258]

This is great. Although Treitan Mellory doesn’t offer a solution to forget your ex, he finally put up a website you can search for, really helpful if you aren’t sure whether to take an ex back or not.

[@Impossibl3isNothing]

Hey Frank can you make a video of your book collection? Want to see what types of books you read. Thanks =)

[@honklerbonk8729]

Thank you fronk I didn’t think I’d ever need this video but after four years I do. I’m gonna push myself at the gym and become as alpha as possible and know that she was a bullet and I dodged it.

[@roymarshall_]

Dude there are shit tons of workout videos online, Layne Norton, Kanevsky Fitness, etc., I'm here to listen to Frank Yang speak about interesting things.

[@AznDragon09]

you just saved me.

[@ViolentRageOne]

this is your craziest video ever

[@Will403536]

4 years, completely took her for granted until it was too late. I'm the one hurting, she wants to visit/fuck less than a month after our official final separation but I really needed this motivation to help settle in my mind that I should *NOT* see her and should spend that time on my personal social life instead.

[@gpnn123]

You are right my friend. It's all about willpower.

[@lameristotel]

I just realized i never saw Frank Yang Laughing in all the videos ive watched. How come you never laugh or burst into laughter not a single time?

[@the_real_P0t4t0]

Words of wisdom, once again

[@frankyang]

become friends after the circuit of her no longer says " love" or get rid of her in your brain almost completely and replace other things until you become happy without her

[@KingDayDayDay00]

This is pretty interesting, Frank. What are your views on someone who was, "In love" for a long period of time and then, "Fell out of love" with someone or something(their passion)? Would it be because they found interest in someone or something else???

[@jonthemobster]

You inspire me and have been a great influence. But frank man, just make more workout videos. All this makes little to no sense to me.

[@novaracjumps]

Just watched this because of a video Frank posted on fapping , pretty good and deep stuff, loled so hard on the person in behind on 8:14

[@frankyang]

+Nikola Novakovic thats my mom

[@eziolomadada7627]

+Frank Yang ROFL

[@A2TheDrew]

any recommendations for books about the stuff Frank Yang is talking about? It's mad interesting

[@frankyang]

it's basic neuroscience plus a little bit of bro philosophy

[@BlueWednesday]

frank have you read Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan?

[@frankyang]

Yes, I have both of their brains inside my skull. So Keith's left brain would only be a quarter of mine whole one.

[@blazecosko7506]

Hey Frank, thanks bro.

[@skyfire1129]

Frank you seriously read my fucking mind, thank you.

[@Noxp]

So awesome!

[@Skullkiddan]

I was really hoping you'd just say "long-term potentiation". You were edging so close to it.

[@karaokenight866]

Digging the longer hair.

[@ebp03ex]

This is spot on. There's a reason the wrinkle lines in the face of long-term couples start to match as time passes. External and internal are linked; microcosms make up the macrocosm. Unfortunately we cannot upload our subjective experiences (yet) - or subjective relationship experiences - into the 'cloud'. To reprogram, we would merely have to delete portions of the cloud! Of course, the hacking possibilities of the aforementioned could open a can of worms in terms of mind and memory control.

[@joaoperre862]

Would you say that keeping a reduced % of the brain dedicated to the significant other would be an intelligent option? Since the possibility of breaking up is always high. However, if you keep a low %, the possibility of breaking up gets higher, since none of you gets the maximum of the experience. Plus if I have a girlfriend, i love her completely, wanting to give her 10000% of the brain and sharing everything with her, therefore not being able/comfortable with connecting just partially with her. Just wandering between the possibilities of giving in completely or just being rational.

[@basribocek7846]

I lost my girlfriend which I had a relation with that lasted more than 4 years. It's been really tough so far because we knew each other so well and shared everything with each other. In the first 2 years we didn't have many fights and I know fights are a vital part of a relationship, but the last 2 years were full of fights and we came to the point where we had really big fights. almost everyday. we couldn't get along plus there was quite a distance between us and we didn't always have time to be together. It's 3 weeks past our breakup, at first we talked a little bit everyday as friends , now it's been a week that we haven't talked to each other and I'm trying my best not to contact her so that it will be easier to forget her but so far it's been really hard. Whenever I go to the gym I train really fast and relatively light with short pauzes between sets so I get more exhausted and after my workouts i'll do 15 minutes of hiit cardio so my mind gets all cleared up. I hate the rest days so I try to do as many activities as I can so i am going to swimming now every week and run outside as an extra activity now and than. I'm really exhausted with going through all the breakups I had. Fronk wish me luck to forget her so I can move on with my life.

[@lukaj1n]

Bra, you can never tell how life plays out, but we all go through it. One thing you can be 100% certain of is that time heals any pain; and this doesn't come from me. I said the same bullshit you said in your comment to a close friend of mine, and he told me his story. He was together with his ex for 35 years and she left him. He told me there is nothing he could say or do to easy the pain or change something about it, except that one thing which is 100% true: time heals everything. She left you? fuck her. Its her loss. We all make mistakes, but unless you cheated on her or beat her or made her do drugs or some tough shit like that, everything can be solved.

[@johnwill3516]

I love you Fronk

[@TwinCorona]

I believe early on Frank is kind of going over the concept of Brain Plasticity, where the stimulus/environment (in this case girlfriend) can change the neurons of your brain. The book 'The Brain That Changes Itself' by Norman Doidge is a really good casual read for those unfamiliar with it. Frank YOULL LOVE CHAPTER 4 about sexual fetishes

[@tsmurer]

Hey Frank, how do you explain that thing that happens when the girl seems saturated, and then you start to ignore her and her feelings, and then she freaks out and comes back like she's in love, based on this brain map theory?

[@dkblade27]

Two questions everybody probably wants to know after this video: 1. What are you gonna do if someday you break up with Viv? 2. What books do you read to learn this kind of stuff?

[@tswift2013]

YES IT DOES, when you openly tell everyone that is this the main reason for your explosive training, guess what? people are going to ask for some end result vision. Yes we have seen to 40 inch VJ video, but since he is an obvious basketball fan why can't he show himself at least attempting? maybe it's due to lack of co-ordination in executing the jump? can't grip ball? seen a vid previous where he is just shooting the ball...stroke looked pretty unco

[@alaww69]

best way to get over addiction for me is to get new one. works for me :D

[@VicHimself]

What do you do for a living if you don't mind me asking?

[@JonathanGlee95]

So are you almost saying that we as people have to have an addiction Frank?

[@Rushgoon1]

I'm going to take up learning french.

[@hobmarg]

Hahah same. This is a really good vid actually.

[@panpancake]

Frank I and my ex is classmates. after broke up, we still need to meet each other every school day. Is it more difficult to get over her?

[@maciejsitko6030]

but that's only true for the person who was dumped, the one who dumps, the "evil" one, will not ever think about the one she dumped in terms of returning. she will ignore him, erase him and never contact him. the suffering one will suffer a lot thinking that she calls him, but she won't. true right?

[@wondering141]

Everything you mentioned, I do with my best friend. He's like my heterosexual life partner. It's scary because our relationship is very symbiotic in that we depend on each other for just about everything. Gonna be hard when one of us dies in a car accident.

[@xflameburn2]

One word: Meditation.

[@geoff1121]

Frank, what do you think of porn? In absence of sex, is porn use in moderation good/healthy iyo or is out of sync with a balanced lifestyle?

[@2davivadiva]

What about the polyamorous people? Are they like GPS with other people? Like there's so many connections with so many people they have satellite maps for anywhere you want to go? Then they become like Onstar?

[@tidora]

how can normal people learn about this stuff? What books/places etc?

[@ItalianPranks0]

frank the description .. it's wrong!

[@00Dakka]

so frank gotta play devil's advocate, how do you justify your love for vivian if you equate it with just a simple 'addiction'?

[@afshiro8]

Is Vivian conducting in the background?

[@snicka8173]

Classic!

[@UnknownCPcl]

a more intelligent hodgetwins video

[@aricwhatgives290]

thanks bro

[@swordman6m1]

does it really matter if he can dunk or not.

[@TKMVillar]

Fronk does that mean I should have 9999999999999999999999999 wives and become Mormon to have the best brain power level?

[@jpb10]

so much bro science

[@horsemeat24]

TANX FRANK

[@itsbchen]

So Frank, if you wanted to get over an ex, can you still be friends with her, and possibly good friends? You make it seem that the only way to get over an ex is to get rid of all your love for an ex.

[@vaalenciago]

agreed, 100%.

[@MrCountArugula]

Show us more of your girlfriend. IT is the only reason I watch.

[@bertstarington7159]

I will check out the book 'The Brain That Changes Itself'. I am currently reading The Selfish Gene of Richard Dawkins, it's very interesting aswell. Makes me feel like A terminator, because i'm a survival machine of my genes. But I can "rebel" against my genes in a way, so I am the Skynet of my genes! I AM A TERMINATOR.

[@kdwag12]

in on first page, spot for sale

[@MeZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ]

why are you fascinated with the BBC?

[@borisinternet9]

yay

[@TheOlzee]

Brian transplant.

[@tswift2013]

why do you keep avoiding to answer the question "can you dunk?" I mean it's a valid question don't you think? You did spent years training explosively for everyone to see and have openly talked about what your goal was during that stage, yet when people ask, you avoid to answer, there's no video of you dunking and you only just vaguely answered it in previous Q&A

[@BrainsWaves]

serotonin, oxycontin, stuff like that... lol

[@Jarramishere]

FRANK

[@NewYorkFreeman]

8:15 is your mom in the background?

[@swordman6m1]

why don't you just worry about yourself. I see no benefit to you whether he can actually complete a dunk or not.

[@urthofthenewsun8465]

The simple answer is just get a new one. Chicks who are convinced they're gonna get back with their ex drive themselves to depression over it. Men who do it are just being silly.

[@Tmonota]

8:10 Paranormal Momtivity

[@rfbftp123]

hahaha fuck man i love listening to this while stoned

[@gobigpoker]

mr. serious

[@greenscreen6407]

Just get a new brain transplany 4:38 lol