Marcus Aurelius - Stop Caring What People Think

In this video, I talk about Stoicism, philosophy, Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, and why we should stop being attached to what other people think of us.
As long as we’re attached to what other people think of us, we will always be what people want us to be rather than being ourselves. And if we abandon ourselves, we abandon our ability to be truly useful to the world. And if we abandon our ability to be truly useful to the world, we abandon what is perhaps the only form of true security.
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Meditations by Marcus Aurelius: geni.us/P44kYU
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[@laura3003]

i'd like to add something: when you stop caring too much about what other people think of you, you also start to tolerate other people more and you become kinder to them, because you are sort of being kind to yourself in the first place, and you aren't always bitter and frustrated with other people's thoughts about you, which can cause a desire to dump those feelings on others. anyways, great video!

[@AkashSingh-oq4mp]

Nice view 👍

[@humanii9037]

omg yes! Empathy sees through the masks we wear

[@inuyasha989]

@@humanii9037 empathy is also what got us here in the first efing place and last i checked and as every single psychiatrist or any other studier of mental issues will tell you you do NOT emphasis on NOT feed into another persons delusions as it only digs them in further into their OWN beliefs of the world around them you know the stupid asinine crap you libtards have been doing for 50 years and now we have the most intolerant community of people in the history of america we are literally reverting back to jim crow era disguising it as "tolerance" and "acceptance" sorry but the TRUTH is only .1% of the population ACTUALLY HAS gender disphoria the rest are low self esteem posers who use it as a click to fit in cause people keep telling them they are so protected and cant be criticized for their delusions while at the same time everyone else who doesnt fit this box is out casted as "intolerant" sorry but facts dont care about your feelings kiddos time to put your big boy pants on and accept reality telling someone they are a gender/race they arent does NOT help them it only further damages them and eventually is most cases leads to suicide not because some right winger told them they arent what they think they are but because no matter how much money they pump into surgeries to be what they see themselves as and only seeing a misshapen human staring them back in the mirror THAT is what causes their already low self esteem to spiral out of control until it ends with their own death by their own hands wonder why they are what they are and not what they THINK they are TL;DR stop feeding into everyones delusions its what got us here to begin with its a big part of what caused rome to fall and does NOT help the mentally ill it only further hurts them and their self esteem as proven by every single case study and psychiatrist worth there salt and based on REAL science not your libtard asinine "equality" like you libtard cult members love to believe

[@humanii9037]

@@inuyasha989 first of all I think my comment was pretty vague and simple because thats all I wanted to add to that comment. This comes from my perspective. I study psychology and child development. I can see where youre coming from. But your comment lost its value when you made a choice to respond the way you did. Theres different ways of looking at things.

[@RBFINISHMOVE]

100

[@OsmanvonWelt]

It amazes me every time I read Meditations that these thoughts/wisdoms are 2000 years old and apply to today's times more than ever... and yet we fail to apply it!

[@kehbab]

You often need to fail to realize the advice would have worked in your situation.. When you are to close to the problem youre almost always blind to see the solution

[@hilkmeister1382]

@c4blec Same as any other, this age will end with blood and from the ashes something will rise from it. Will it be better? Sadly I doubt it

[@adeyinkaayelabade770]

Hey, can you send me a link of this book, so I can download and read it. Thank you!

[@kamu747]

Little ever changes. Things remain the same across time and places. And so 2000 years from today - in consideration the human species is alive - the same will still apply.

[@docboom8451]

I guess you are right

[@qualityquotes229]

“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

[@terencehennegan1439]

Spot on 👍

[@Chrisko1492]

Except, you don‘t. You can‘t control your feelings and only partially control your thoughts. The solution lies in acceptance, not in control. The stoics are wrong.

[@terencehennegan1439]

2941oksirhC D You can control your feelings if you are aligned with your psyche, right thinking will align, wrong thinking distorts. The more we work on our morals the easier we will be to achieve mastery over our mind. The stoics were thinking ahead, as of yet we haven’t evolved that far.

[@jacquelinecastillo965]

💯🆗

[@marcusaureliusiv8527]

@@Chrisko1492 'you' can't countrol 'your' feelings the solution is in acceptance, yes, and thus in control ; you decide if you accept some events or not.

[@Qubit313]

" You are a prisoner to someone's idea of you." That hit hard.

[@BlueBeeMCMLXI]

WHY? Are you a puppet?

[@NoWayBreow]

Not as hard as dad's belt

[@nhanhao1435]

Yes bro ❤

[@kennethmacfarlane6294]

Mike Tysons thoughts?

[@krishnagondhea7428]

I have been a prisoner for many many years to someone’s idea of me. The truth is my life has and will continue to take a different trajectory to what people think of me. I’m actually revealing to myself who I am and what I stand for. I hid it from myself. Fearing rejection being judged but if I carry on that way then what example does it set to my children?

[@JenZem_]

“You are a prisoner to someone’s idea of you” that line hit hard and made me really start reconsidering some of my beliefs

[@opela9205]

Here too

[@BlueBeeMCMLXI]

It hit hard. How hard? How would you compare that to say a bill in the mail?

[@consumer9279]

❤

[@rickbot19]

Perfect timing, I was actually stressing out about what people are thinking of me now so I really needed it right now thank you for the extremely useful reminder !!!

[@True38]

You might as well just stop because nobody is thinking about you.

[@djordjepetrovic5623]

That was been and for me, but i decided to be myself.

[@djordjepetrovic5623]

But still working on my self

[@daifullohlumii]

What if it just because KZbin's recommendation? 😂 But I do also felt it as Perfect Timing of what happened to me lately

[@brokenlayers5905]

Me too. Thanks

[@mmbw123]

It amazes me how many people have to reach a very old age to finally realise that people don't matter if you don't let them. I live happy since that realisation, luckily I learned that in my 20s

[@HALOSnHORNS]

I have always been this way. Your opinion of me doesn't effect me because I don't care what you think.

[@Teglamen]

@@HALOSnHORNS But you cared enough to write a comment 😂

[@HALOSnHORNS]

@@Teglamen because its a COMMENT SECTION, its for COMMENTS. you seem bothered. drink some water.

[@Teglamen]

@@HALOSnHORNS You don't bother, I just found your comment funny

[@Cookiekeks]

Do you not care what others think of you?

[@babyruthless9670]

Sometimes we also get stuck on an idea of what we think we should be, and that also goes against who we truly are ☝🏾

[@mandeep3.14]

So true smh

[@ibetrain2175]

That's why I dont think about what they care.

[@myrtila]

I think that’s a huuuge problem that often goes unseen

[@denisoborges5511]

That's the point... sometimes we despise who we are, and we have the right to adopted a different behavior in life. if you are not comfortable with you self

[@Woeisme2]

Yep, parents hammer that thought into our head and it's hard to get it out

[@AnishJoseph48]

"It's not about how you can produce something of value, but how you can become free. When you break free of all your prisons, your fruit comes of its own accord".

[@ddanikong]

i'm a 14 yr old still in school and i just want to say thank you for these videos! i love watching these as it teaches me so much about life. I'll try my best to grow up with these lessons

[@partogb8103]

wow bro u start soon very nice

[@sunni3931]

Good for you! Keep watching them ♥️

[@SleptDeadA9]

The biggest mistake I felt is wanting to adopt this new mindset right away, but most of us are breaking years of caring too much. It will take time, just remind yourself everyday until it's blended into your everyday life. Hope you figure it out.

[@bryson9234]

So true

[@bethanienaylor]

Ty

[@jaronpanepinto7519]

Yes, take YOUR time, because you want to be you

[@BlueBeeMCMLXI]

Caring with action? Or caring? Because caring is NOTHING. NOTHING.

[@mamooshka9503]

Omg same, I wanna be untouchable NOW❤❤❤

[@shinryu9555]

This is healing. Healing for the bad things that I have done to myself. I'm still fighting for depression and trying to understand each problems that caused it. So I'm very thankful that you've shared this wisdom for us.

[@yua7469]

I’m glad you’re still here with us

[@halcyon2889]

you are doing a great job buddy.Keep on going.

[@hriable6508]

Hope you get through your battles man!

[@nateshahuja4734]

Wishing you a quick recovery from depression! The tree that stands tall even amidst the storms and doesn't uproot is the one that's privileged to bask under the sunlight when it does come later, hope you too are capable of weathering the storms raging within and around you!

[@mizzcloudy249]

It can be useful to know what impacts your depression. But take it from someone who psychoanalyzes way too much myself, sometimes you have to focus more on the "how"s rather than the "why"s. "How" can I break free of this depression, what's my next step? Rather than "why" am I so depressed. I tend to get stuck in the "why" and dwell on it, which can worsen my depression. "If you talk enough sense, you'll lose your mind." Sometimes the best thing you can do for your depression is free your mind. I know it sounds like a "Thanks, I'm cured" mentality, but it's just one step amongst many that can help ease depression. Meditation works wonders in this aspect. I'm working really hard on this in my life right now, I thought I'd share my thoughts. Sorry if they're unwarranted.

[@wesleyhargon]

"being yourself is the only truly useful thing someone can do." So good! Thank you.

[@masicbemester]

that sounds close to "To be yourself is all that you can do" from an Audioslave song

[@TheHexCube]

So helpful.. I struggle with anxiety every time I walk out of the door of my home. I look and dress differently from 'the norm', yet I'm just trying to be myself. There are some that look, some that laugh, and some that like, and some that hate. Even some that take pictures! You can't please everybody, so just be who you are. I guess celebrities have the same problems. My wishes of love and strength to those that stand out. X

[@originalgoldengoddess]

This is why I like to be alone because I get to enjoy my own opinions and focus on what I think about me.

[@somerandomguy8668]

I would also love to add "Be yourself but be your best self" Imagine you love drinking and you drink everyday without caring about what other people think, you are still being yourself but aren't being anything useful and negatively impacting people around you. Great video🍀

[@guru25k]

True

[@PawanPawar1]

Thanks for your perspective.

[@suicune3776]

Agreed~ Be yourself without harming anyone :3

[@nahzewilliams5912]

thats subjective...ive come across sober people whos hearts and minds more evil than the one that drinks....it comes down to the individual

[@famatu]

If i can also add something, drinking problems as any addiction are often caused by psychological problems and used to ease the pain. I‘d imagine if you lived a life free of judgment that you wouldnt feel that urge so much, if that is what you‘re struggling with at least

[@Chelssums]

This came in my recommended after I had a conversation with my therapist about how I care about what my coworkers think of me. Thank you for this short and straightforward video.

[@melboysoap5445]

Me too after a conversation with my mother ! I swear didn’t search for this in google haha

[@masudsaeediphysiotherapy8689]

Smartphones nowadays hear everything 👀👀

[@talesfromprincesajesa]

whatever you need to say, say it with your chest. whatever you need to be, embody it to its full potential. always stand ten toes down and let the pieces fall where they may. this is how i live my life, and it hasn't failed me yet.

[@SocPro]

You literally have changed my perspective about everything. Thank you for this. I haven't had anything open my eyes like your words did right now. I lack the words to express what just happened. Thank you Justin. Thank you for making this. I think I can go out to the world a better person now, as someone who is myself, and that alone.

[@DeKnight95]

Seeing this comment did the same for me. Thanks for sharing. Much love and best of luck in your adventures!

[@christopher2002cr]

@@DeKnight95 it’s done the same for me as well! Thank both of you for commenting and a special thank you to our video author!

[@penneyburgess5431]

Read Marcus Aurelius. Reread it often. There is treasure in his words.

[@keyk540]

Update

[@folliesofmen2628]

When i was in my teenage angst I used to believe this, but i gradually realized that entirely wiping out what others think of you is impractical, because ultimately we are social beings and we deduce meanings from relationships. That's why we care so much about what people think of us in the first place. The point is rather to find out our priorities and inner values and stick to them when making important choices in life. Anything other than that, just remain open for changes and improvements, not entombed in that 'being myself' myth. Because nobody is solid, we just go on changing throughout our life. Nobody is the same person they were 10yrs back

[@LostBoysBasketball]

I agree, accepting that you’re a work in progress is empowering.

[@TrustedSiren]

Nothing in this said to wipe away what people think of you, it is to be entirely yourself. If being a social being and deducing meaning from relationships means acting like something you're not, this is advice you need. Its a bit ignorant to assume that doing these people pleasing social hacks dont take away from your own integrity. We are huge beings, we can chose to move away or above anyone or anything that makes us need to change or put on a front, its not easy but its what Marcus was talking about, which I feel is the point of the whole video.

[@rooster555555]

Well said

[@bharathanand1762]

@@TrustedSiren well put❤

[@inthemoment8410]

I don’t think we should care what others think of us. Just be the best person you can be and always be empathetic to other peoples well being and strive towards goodness in general. If you are doing that and others still don’t like you than don’t waste your time caring about what they think.

[@druchiha2276]

"When tree is free, fruit is a natural outcome" it felt like a flame to my inner fire of beliefs. Great preaching, truly helpful.

[@realperx1102]

I dont even know who i am anymore

[@Wassaabhi]

You are, what you have always been, and thats, in control, able to change it at any point, life's a big full of wonders, dare to look within

[@gremlin7701]

@@Wassaabhithanks for sharing those words

[@Futuremillioneire]

Same, the thing is I kinna feel being detached from myself, maybe because recently I've really going hard, trying dopamine detox, etc, and so iam kinna feel brainwashed because of consuming too much self help which has lead me to overthink my every step of life especially, the way I act with other like did I acted well, did I responded correctly in the convo, could I have said something else bullshits like that, also I feel which way is morlly correct, like always overthinking about my life choices and acting in which way is appropriate

[@superzucht]

​​@@Futuremillioneire The stuff you discribe is familair to me. Don't know if it helps but last week I did a 'personality test' and it gave me some clearity about myself. Things I could have figured out by myself ofcourse. Reading about the personality i got 'boxed' into gave some peace of mind for me. Might help you aswell. Might help as a stepping stone for self understanding.

[@Futuremillioneire]

@@superzucht thanks brother

[@CallMeMicahT]

Marcus Aurelius is one of the best thinkers in history.

[@heinmolenaar6750]

J. Krishnamurti watch him

[@kevinkchao8]

It's too bad that shows try too hard to depict him as some unempathetic cold hearted general.

[@TaraHower]

I think about this a lot. When I was more free in thought I was told I was arrogant but I felt so much more free. I changed and toned myself down but yes I feel like I’m in a prison of peoples opinions. This is valuable

[@ceezy585]

also trying to get back to that time when we didn’t know better and lived naturally.

[@gerrimiller3491]

Don't give other's the opportunity to control your mind, body or soul. God has blessed us to have our own unique and distinctive form to be whom we want💜

[@BlueBeeMCMLXI]

Study Law. You are in delusion.

[@samarmstrong8017]

I can relate to this. It's hard not caring what other people think and say when someone is a danger to you. It feels like a constant threat you cant ignore. I hope everyone reading this comment finds a way to be themselves and not care what other people think while maintaining their sense of security.

[@repetitive781]

Whenever i get lost, i come back to this video. Serves as a great reminder, being at peace with yourself is the most important thing in life.

[@oakley3272]

This specific aspect of Marcus’s work actually helped me cope with the anxiety of coming out as NB. It just makes sense though like who gives a flying flounder and if they do then you catch that founder, cook it in a pan of oil on medium heat until golden brown and you can add salt and pepper if you want, and enjoy it.

[@cutiepiebb]

Guess what? You can look androgynous and gave varied interest while still being male or female. The fact that you had a whole identity crisis is just ridiculous. My advice is to take a break from social media.

[@oakley3272]

@@cutiepiebb damn wasn’t the point of this video not to care what others think? Thanks for pointing that out Lol I’ll be sure to instantly snap you out of it next time you go through psychological torment that isn’t aligned with your biology.

[@cutiepiebb]

@@oakley3272 get therapy and take a break from teenage social media

[@oakley3272]

Bro the only thing I’ll need therapy for is laughing too hard like you really think you’re doing a service by pointing that out

[@pposiful9717]

@@cutiepiebb This person literally just watched a video on how to not care on other people’s opinion. You really think they’re going to listen to you? Like cmon

[@indigomira]

This just came at a perfect time, I was being playful with someone close and they told me I was the worst person which I never get when I act playful with my family. My family accepts me for who I am while this other person doesn't and every time they put me down on me being silly or doing anything that makes me who I am, they always manage to make me feel like I need to be someone else.

[@manoswinipanda8916]

Being perfect is being you... Imperfections others think you have is what makes you as you... As long I think being bold enough to stick to your opinion and modify it when needed but don't change it, is necessary for all.

[@LeilaLaughsAlot]

Thanks for making me cry, when I was younger as a kid I cared way too much that I couldn’t do all the things I wanted to do & I got to notice as I’ve gotten older opinions are just opinions the way I have one And it’s what I think of me and my gifts And the value I add as an individual But I still struggle with this , thank you for this video ❤️

[@chrismcbee4653]

This is gold. Help yourself because that's what others do. Don't believe what others say about you. You know you not a complete stranger.

[@PretendPrism]

if most people would just start watching videos like these, the world world would be so much more peaceful.

[@Matt_The_Red]

The security of being liked by others is temporary

[@katya1031]

For me Being Yourself is the hardest task. Because it is hard to answer the question Who am I ? The answer most of the time - I don’t know. I am the product of conditioning by others since or even before I was born, and now I need to Be Myself and don’t care of what others think about me. Cognitive dissonance, isn’t it? I wonder why almost everyone who advocates to Be Yourself, constantly skipping the first question.😅

[@trapper7954]

Very good point, but maybe "yourself" IS the product of everyone's influence on you. How it influenced you and how you dealt with it is who you are (everyone would react differently to the same circumstances). And what you want for the future and what you certainly don't want (or the absence of wanting anything), all those things say something about yourself.

[@bateriafraca3212]

this video was recommended to me right on time ,when i am disappointing people by being myself... not in a social way or ethically, i'm just exploring my own body like i want, facing other's prejudices.

[@kenetbeborrow1252]

This hits me so hard, especially growing in a conservative and manipulative environment which they define who you would be in the future instead of you defining who you want to be.

[@sethsphoto]

Yeah this video hit me too, I also grew up in a conservative environment. I don’t know to what extent it affected me, though. I do know that I have struggled with worrying about what other people think of me for years. I’m much better now than I used to be but hope to continue improving on it.

[@leveena2038]

It's very hard to not think about what other people think of us!

[@havoc6441]

Itz hard to overcome that problem but not impossible.

[@marianneastoriano]

:(

[@Anakena3]

That’s a very useful reminder - Especially nowadays, in a society (France for me) that is constantly/ increasingly controlling its citizens and tell you how you should think behave and do. As the vast majority has stop questioning this, they misjudged you if you don’t comply. This thought helps to have the courage to thing differently

[@randomnetizen4852]

I did try to be "myself" at high school but people there found it weird. Then got bullied for having a different voice, teachers got involved bcs they think I'm not "working together" with my classmates, but lol, I did all those "teamworks" by myself, sacrificing my sleep time after exhausting full-day school, I can't even say outloud that those ppl weren't working at all. I never knew I'll be missing online school. Thank you for this reminder though. Being myself is great. I hope I could overcome those obstacles and achieve greater outcome.

[@LeAndreLove]

i have alopecia and have been having it since i was in the 5th grade. i am now 23 and i struggle with life. i know i should feel at ease knowing that everyone has flaws, but nobody should have to bare what i am bearing. all my life i’ve been trying to prove that there’s nothing wrong with me and i am the same as you all are… but that simply isn’t the case anymore. there’s is something wrong with me and i feel mentally and physically unstable. im in great shape i feel but i feel that even working out doesn’t aid the pain that i bare. its so hard for me to get past all the constant stares from people because i simply want to be normal again. i get so pissed in front of people when they stare, that they don’t even want to come near me, and that make me feel even more alone. i know i shouldnt be that way with people because, shit i’d look over at me the way people do too, because it’s reality… but i can’t seem to accept this reality because when i look in the mirror, i do see someone that isn’t ME! i don’t know what to do, all i do is numb my feelings with weed and i know that isn’t helping but it’s something to do… i’m hesitant to ask because i know nobody give a damn, but will anyone help me?

[@isoldita]

This couldnt be more true. I'm resonating so much to this right now. Working on overcoming fears and the fears always end up being about how other people would see you.. Therefore trying to not disappoint, to not fail, by living up to the expectations of others and your own high standards, only to be good enough for others. Thank you, this came at the perfect timing.

[@jeshurandianga1251]

To stop thinking about what people think about you just turn your lense towards yourself.. How long do you think about others faults or achievements..and does it even move them if we are... The truth is everybody is all worried about what others think or when they messed up that they don't leave any mentalspace to think of us let alone care.

[@MashewiMa3tum]

"A small bar opens, few people visit it, but the ones who go know what they are looking for." This is not about the bar

[@dimplewraich7257]

I really needed this video today. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and pcos. We have been trying for a baby but it’s really hard with my health issues to get pregnant. I know I shouldn’t blame myself for it but some people(sometimes your own family members) make you feel like you’re lacking and indirectly pressurize you. I can’t stop thinking about it and can’t let it go. It’s really important for under confident people like me to stop taking shit from people and stop caring about their expectations from you. Especially when something is out of your control. Thanks for this video❤

[@michelles2644]

I’m sorry your going through what your going through! Have compassion for yourself, you deserve it! You don’t deserve to feel that pressure. I wish you the best!

[@dimplewraich7257]

@@michelles2644 Thanks sweet soul❤️

[@THP999]

This has been my mission for at least 5 years now. Its so liberating

[@kevinbrooks9074]

Not caring about others is great!

[@PraetorClaudius]

I’m going through Sickness Unto Death by Kierkegaard 🥵, and this really helps separating the nominal self from the true Self. He uses self/Self a lot and it can be dizzying, but I want to read and reread it until I can firmly grasp it.

[@jimmy5634]

Read the Bible instead.

[@PraetorClaudius]

@@jimmy5634 uhhh who says I don’t?

[@YessmineHammi]

When you care about what others say or think you'll never win just stop caring 😊

[@jacobhamilton4888]

I’m convinced that nearly all of our dilemmas and conundrums would disappear if we would take courage and do what we want to do and not allow any outside perceptions to dictate our choices. Granted, it’s easier said than done. At first when you start doing what you actually want to and stop trying to please everyone, it will feel like you’re gutting yourself out with a knife. But man the freedom, power, and perspective you will have afterwards are invaluable.

[@imsodone5737]

Great advice. In this age of global economic melt down, it's more difficult to see outside one's needs and the wants lacking. But if one can focus on necessities(needs) and the love of the process towards mastery, one will most likely actualize his/her potential. Thanks

[@ChrisCohen]

Would be interested to hear your thoughts regarding autism and this concept. Autistic people often mask, as in, act how they believe people want them to act, because society will not accept them otherwise. In the end, we do need some human connection in order to stay healthy, but if that connection comes at the cost of not being oneself, because to be oneself would be too far out of the societal norms under which we live, is that not like being in a prison, like the example in the video?

[@FreedominThought]

Society is born out of our relationships with each other as individuals, right? Anytime we hold other people to an expectation, we try to imprison them (and ourselves, because we are a prisoner to that expectation too). Relationships built on sincerity fortify life. Relationships dependent on the maintenance of expectations are tyrannies.

[@heinmolenaar6750]

J. Krishnamurti watch him

[@juligvazquez]

TO BE YOURSELF IS ALL THAT YOU CAN DOOOOOOOOOUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOO Rest in piece Chris, I always put that song and sing it whenever I feel bad since I can't relate a lot to the people where I come from. It's hard, but I know it's better than putting on a mask and never be true to myself.

[@masicbemester]

cool, you thought of that too

[@dannydevito5312]

It’s crazy I used to have anxiety attacks because I thought everybody was watching me fuck something up or make a fool of myself but as I’ve grown up I’ve found that people really don’t give a shit about you or what you are doing

[@beau-ti-ful5192]

Life taught me one thing this year. Be myself and don't care what people say. I was thrown under the bus for dumb reason by one of my sibly who was being petty.

[@Manojkumar-tm9nh]

"You are stuck in language".. So true, Like we say sun sets in West, that's not true , the direction where sun sets, we name it west.. Change this mentality! U r gud to go

[@neptune0909]

Ahh! Finally someone wise. I'm happy you exist even tho idk you. I'm still grateful for this comment ❤️ have a gr8 time =)

[@Manojkumar-tm9nh]

@@neptune0909 omg, u r so humble damn, thankyou🥺

[@improveproductivity]

@@Manojkumar-tm9nh kudos to you for acknowledging his humbleness. love from india😃

[@kmp8985]

I do get stuck in language. I want an explanation for everything

[@Manojkumar-tm9nh]

@@improveproductivity woo,m from India too❤ Have a great day✌

[@jamalanthonylegaspi6241]

It might be tough, but someday i will overcome

[@samanthakim5035]

This helped me and my situation every time in school always ignored the things I want to share. They don't care (also)because I can't share nor contribute things to the same level as them I just feel...lonely.

[@ajitc6102]

When I eliminate the fear of what others think & ignore their opinions, a new fear/conflict starts within myself what if they are right? What if I got wrong especially when I'm making important decisions! How can I overcome this fear?

[@nessrineboukhari0167]

Ah my friend were practically on the same boat. I can't say that I have advice for you because I am in no position to hold wisdom but isn't making your own decisions and taking responsibility for them better than Living your life in slavery for others opinions ? After all the possibility of your choice being wrong or being imperfect or less than ideal is always present thus as long as you're doing something you believe in and something you want to do you're going to enjoy the journey and you can't know if you're right or wrong until you complete the journey called life. As long as we're trying then we're making the right decision right ?

[@Andreluiz-dp2ho]

accept the risk of beeing wrong, then you can discover if you are right. Fear = not accepting the risk of not doing it Courage = accepting the risk of not doing it Confidance = believing you have chance of doing it Faith = giving everything you are in the name of that chance

[@Andreluiz-dp2ho]

Afterall what's the matter on being wrong? How else could you learn without knowing you were wrong? Also, do not put your value into the results, because it can mislead you. For example, if u make a bread and it's not tastefull, do not think "my destiny is not to make breads, people were right abou i shoud do other thinks, i am useless human being and bla bla". It's simplier than that. Life is just telling you should do the bread in other way, nothing more, nothing less.

[@ajitc6102]

@@nessrineboukhari0167 yes, makes sense!

[@FreedominThought]

It’s about being unattached, not ignoring. They may be right, they may be wrong. Examine and discover for yourself if you’re wrong. There’s nothing wrong with taking multiple points of view.

[@MyUncleWorksForNintendo]

This is all true and what not, but it's so much easier said than done. I struggle greatly with trying to not care what others think. I would love to overcome it, but I find it near impossible.

[@True38]

When you finally achieve financial freedom, it's quite easy :) You know why? Because you are no longer dependent on other people's opinions. If you have all the resources, what's the point of you caring if it doesn't hurt your situation? Most people "care" because they are dependent on caring in terms of working.

[@MrRaLopes]

That video found me, and it makes a lot of sense. Keep up with those truly useful and easy summaries of really good information like that! 👏🏼

[@amysansome788]

Best thing I’ve ever learned is that, to be yourself, you must learn to understand and accept that you cannot please everyone, because to understand someone’s disappointment is to understand how that person fits in to your life.

[@karwanm9740]

Being yourself is very hard in society

[@Darkstar-ux5yo]

Came at the right time. I’m so preoccupied with being a good partner to my girl that I can’t voice my opinion on things I don’t like and expressing it to let her know because of fear of her leaving.

[@phay9929]

I could be wrong here but that sounds like fear of abandonment not fear of what others think of you, maybe something that happened in your past triggered it? I have fear of abandonment too, I had a near breakdown and panic attack when I was arguing with a friend and we couldn't come to an agreement or an apology (we're not friends anymore), but after the big fight and some months later I realized my relationship with that person was toxic and I WAS just being who I think they wanted me to be and I wasn't happy being that person. What I told myself to get out of that fear of abandonment was " if speaking up about their actions hurting me physically or mentally and they don't seem to care or having different opinions is enough for them to want to leave then it's best to not have them in my life anyways" woud I have lived pretending and hurting for years??? It's best to stop now and start to heal than stop in 20 years when it'll hurt more or the damage could be irreversible.

[@Darkstar-ux5yo]

@@phay9929 noted.

[@azeljoyportugues2580]

That's not healthy and I do agree with what Phay99 said. Maybe you are just scared about her abandoning you. My fiancé used to tell me that he's very scared of making me angry because he won't be able to accept if one day I leave. I do understand why he thinks this way, an ex gf left him before and married someone who earns money. He was still studying at that time. I am a different person now so he is. We are always honest and transparent about almost everything in our relationship.

[@Tfk-mf6bs]

Thank you, this is a lesson that most of us should follow!

[@ItsMeJeki]

😢 it hits me so much.

[@itsnlee]

I just had a meeting with one of my professors today about stopping my course due to mental health struggles, and this recommended vid is bizarre to me because I knew I never wanted to do stem. Somehow it took this 4 year struggle to realise I've lived my life as how my parents wanted me to live. From my hobbies to who I meet and when I come home, I just stood there and took it. It's no different than conformation, but I never associated this with the idea of caring what other people think, it's more complicated than that, like morals and respecting the people who raised you and believing what they tell you is best for you etc etc. Further this, I never thought the price would be this high from sacrificing any say in what I want in my life, and more importantly, going against who I really am. One of the big reasons I did stem was exactly as was said - security. It's no secret so many people chase after this, rather than for the sake of learning, and it's accurate that you trade freedom for such security. Personally, my mental health also became the price, and today I realised there was more to the cost than gain. Some part of you dies internally when you deny who you are. And as a 17 year old at the time entering uni, I never stopped to think how much I would suffer from pushing away what I wanted to do. People might have a say in what's best for you or me, but ultimately it's you who will have to bear the consequences. Not them. In which it's better to suffer from your own choices, rather than suffer because you made the choice someone wanted you to make.

[@neptune0909]

The BESTEST CHANNEL EVER !!! I LOVE YOU 💕

[@Dahfukc]

I would totally be myself and stop caring but I don’t even know who I am which just brings me sadness because I try so hard to see who I am

[@totalfreedom45]

*_1_* We must teach our children at a very early age to think on their feet, to stand alone, to not follow the crowd, and to not bear bullying and hazing. Overall social media is antisocial because it’s a fertile ground where hate, envy, jealousy, gossip, scamming, and bullying grow fast like weeds; the metaverse is gonna be even worse. Laugh a lot and have face-to-face loving relationships! *_2_* Happiness is within us; that’s why we can have many friends and yet be unhappy and lonely. There’s a big difference between *_aloneness_* and *_loneliness._* *_3_* When love is, the self is not. The self causes most problems and all wars. *_4 Without love life is meaningless._* 💕 ☮ 🌎 🌌

[@xdrazormon454]

You can become like me be a misanthrope introvert so that you’ll know who are your real friends

[@legendary_eman]

Agree

[@rosetintedrage1246]

Had a talk about this with my fiance this morning. We both became people pleasers due to similar circumstances. Parents divorced at a young age, vying for a distant father's affection; seeking parental approval for validation. This stemmed into incredibly destructive sexual behavior for myself through college, resulting in emotional distancing to continue to please and support others. Now, in an established relationship with a complete inability to open up and be honest about my own needs because I have chosen to suppress them. We're starting over together, and will only seek each other's validation until we have the knowledge to validate our own selves.

[@oooasis77]

Damn, boy. The thing i most needed to hear coming from the greatest guy to ever hold my name. Thanks, Aurelius.

[@dgenrate6119]

Need this on repeat everyday

[@ok.4877]

It’s not that easy when you have ✨ SOCIAL ANXIETY✨.

[@the1cooljay]

You have social anxiety because you worry what people think of you.

[@reanimatedmanx]

@@the1cooljay If you are homeless, just buy a house

[@annamarhal9236]

It’s not easy but it’s something you can definitely work on. I have social anxiety myself and I’ve been working hard to get better. Slowly but surely I am. This video definitely helped a lot tonight cause I was stressing sm about what people thought of me.

[@rusavo9941]

@@reanimatedmanx silly comment, he was right, as someone who's life has been massively impacted by social anxiety, it is because you care what people think. You can change it

[@dillardparker7546]

I never realize how profound this struck me --I must listen to this again.

[@Soulzone009]

Being yourself outcome is out of the box for others. It's like. Tresure.

[@viciousgrin9044]

i edited my comment so you'll never know why it got so many likes

[@FreedominThought]

😅🤣

[@EnxzVFXz]

That’s racist

[@benjaminherrera3309]

I guess you're right .

[@CommissarChaotic]

@@EnxzVFXz .... was that a joke?

[@RandomHud]

@sirus McDavies your feelings hurt, snowflake?

[@Matricias]

Don't waste time worrying about other people unless it affects the common good. 00:00 Being preoccupied with what others are doing will keep you from doing anything useful. 00:08 Attachment to what other people think holds people back in life. 00:23 In Shinjuku, a small bar opens up for a few hours when the clock strikes midnight. 00:36 Being attached to what others think of you stops you from doing anything truly useful. 00:53 Being yourself is the only truly useful thing someone can do. 01:06 True usefulness comes from being what you are, like a tree and its fruits and oxygen. 01:20 Being yourself is the same as overcoming your own obstacles. 01:32 One of the greatest obstacles to being yourself is being attached to what other people think of you. 01:48 Being attached to what others think of you stops you from being yourself because you fear violating their expectations. 02:03

[@languagefreeassangeteacher5338]

It´s hard not care about what other people think of us. To be aware of this is the first step.

[@PaulTavaresEmpowerment]

Be yourself always. Being authentic is the only way in which you will be fulfilled in life.

[@Manojkumar-tm9nh]

You are a prisoner of someone's idea about you! So true that's why we often put attending our frnds call over working for that project

[@sckiw005]

J

[@kylebluch]

how do I truly know myself while being such a dynamic changing being with flaws and inconsistencies?

[@allesdurchprobiert]

You realised that you are a dynamic changing being with flaws and inconsistencies. Thats a big step in being self aware and knowing yourself. Go on. And the less you listen to the outside world, the louder and clearer you inner voice becomes. Thats the real you. Just listen.

[@mattiapetti5888]

Caring about what other people think of you is something I do uncounsciously. However, not being myself and adapting to others shapes people give me will never make me free and by doing so, I will never realize myself. Considering the metaphore of the tree, now I'm slowly overcoming my problems in order to get out of the prison. I'm still improving.

[@english-satoshi]

Thank you for giving me such a great advice of Aurelius. It's hard to do so,but I can think of it on my day and my life will be better a littl bit .

[@LotusHoshi]

God Bless! And May The Lord Bless This Information Be Useful To You In Some Way And His Grace Almighty You All As Well As Everything Else!

[@jasonsmith13th]

I can't say I really care what people think. I'm just tired, frustrated, and annoyed of hearing it from a bunch of people who shouldn't be concerned with the things I do.

[@volkicodm9517]

I love this. Going through a tough experience w cheating and a breakup. This made me realize that I was a prisoner to their expectations and what they wanted me to be because I was craving that security.

[@Mashh1]

This is the 3rd time I'm watching this to keep reminding myself until I don't have to watch it anymore.

[@AaseeshMarina]

I'm really not feeling the tree analogy as the tree by itself doesn't really do anything to break out from obstacles. Without enough water, trees simply dry out, they don't really produce any fruit

[@darkbeast277]

To be yourself you have to be willing to violate others expectations, you've to be willing to disappoint them and to face their negative reaction (they says being yourself is most useful thing you can ever do but I'm not sure on that)

[@gilangprasetyo7018]

Oh silly me, what a great idea! You know the problem with a video like this is that it is always easier said than done.

[@craigcrawford6749]

I was in Shinjuku when Japan went on to the quarter finals in the world cup. It was crazy.

[@done611]

I have always wondered why so many adults can't grasp this simple truth. We should become wiser as we age, but there always seems to be that 70 year old that never learned some of the basics of wisdom.

[@johnrainsman6650]

I was jealous of everyone for years because of my insecurities and weaknesses. But then I made a New Year resolution to end it, because I realized something. I do not believe in society anymore. I say two words to ultimately eliminate the self-doubt that tries to attack me: screw norms. I'm 27, still live at home, having _never_ moved out. I have never had a girlfriend or a date, and I don't even have a driver's license. I have both a learning disability and ASD, and sometimes I say unfiltered things or act weird in social moments. I assume my ASD makes me "less normal." I don't have too many friends now that I've graduated from college and most of my friends have left town. My coworkers all seem to fit in; I usually stand out. I used to feel like a misfit at work, but now I realize that it's not a big deal. It's just they're not my people, they're each other's only. If my ASD makes them not like me enough, that's their problem. Sure, I don't have a great filter, but it doesn't define me; nobody is perfect. I don't care if people find me weird or annoying. I don't care that my both my sisters have boyfriends and started dating at 16 while I've always been single. I don't care that I can't drive. I don't care that I appear dopey because of my learning disability. I don't care that I graduated high school at _TWENTY._ I don't care that I seem slow and helpless and do better with a guide than by myself (my boss basically said that to my face). I don't care that I still live with my mom. I don't care that I went to a small charter school than the "superior" public school that has many more activities, adventures, and organizations. I don't care about any of my weaknesses; I still have confidence in myself. It doesn't matter what others think of me, it's what I think of myself that matters. I will never fall for society's tricks again; society is buIIshit, and that would explain our government and political leaders. I say "SCREW NORMS!" I am absolutely fine the way I am, I say confidently. I am not a loser. A disabled man who doesn't match standards, yes, but not a loser. There is nothing wrong with being different. Different is good. Normal is boring.

[@productiveinsomniactaterto8612]

I’m a high schooler and it’s expected of me to have grades over 95(immigrant parents), do well in all my extracurricular activities, and be conventionally pretty(meaning I have to lose weight and have ‘perfect’ hair and skin). I don’t know anymore if what I’m doing is what helps me build confidence in myself and my abilities or if I’m doing all of these to fit in and be seen as the ideal student, daughter, and girl to avoid negative criticism.

[@tinas2857]

@TaterTati: if you don’t know of what you are doing is helping you build confidence, then are beginning to lose yourself. I can’t imagine the pressure you are under! Any time anyone has any ‘expectations’ of you, they are not concerned with your happiness, but instead are concerned with how what you do/don’t do, affects THEM. Do what makes YOU happy, and do the best YOU can, for YOUR happiness. That will upset others, including your parents. If you constantly live by others’ expectations, you will end up resenting others and will end up unfulfilled, at the expense of others’ happiness. You’re not responsible for other peoples’ happiness; you’re only responsible for your own. Have you talked with your parents, about their ‘expectations’ of you? I wish you well. 😊

[@PolKsio]

Ok but who am I?

[@Darkmotivation-s3x]

You are you You do what you do without caring what people will think of you You are yourself without taking society's view of life

[@SMABSO]

Some geezer innit

[@godstimeemmanuel2271]

Thank you so much brother😢🥺😭😭💔 I've a people pleaser all my life 😭😭👆 thanks so much 🙏🙏🔥

[@dreagonzalez6217]

KZbin suggested me your video and i ended up crying.. cant believe it made me cry, but thank you. I know this isn't an advice but It felt like something i needed to hear.

[@petergriffin012]

I have anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders which make me feel awful. I used to think what other people think about me but I don't give a fuck that anymore bc Ive been using antidepressants for 3 months. I feel great.

[@jerbs5346]

You can simply do something that is called 'ignoring' when people have a negative view of where you live.

[@stavokg]

I really need this video right now and will put it on repeat!