Game of Thrones Abridged

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[@djpatzer]

I think Jojen climbed up the tree because he realised that while it might not be his day to die, it might have been his day to get a nasty bite from a Direwolf

[@yetipotato8567]

"When Wolf and Frog dance" It is foreshadowimg the love triangme where Bran has to choose between his best woof and a epic doomer marsh GF

[@miketrujillo3677]

Doomer marsh gf 🤒🥴🥴🤒

[@michaelalan6459]

Mirri Maz Duur actually tried to help Drogo and Dany. She told them not to remove the poultice, not to drink alcohol but he did anyway. Once he fell from his horse she tried to convince Dany to let him die but Dany commanded her to use blood magic. When she did the shadow dance she told Dany not to enter the tent but Jorah carried her in. After all of that she knew she was screwed so she gloated about it to Dany and you can't blame her for hating them.

[@niklasvanselow8168]

Concerning Europa: She was not turned into a cow, just watched by Hera, so that Zeus would not engage in his usual shenanigans. He though, tenacious adulterer that he is, turned into a bull and abducted Europa. That image (Europa on a bull) is the first thing you tend to see when you search for the tale. Io was the one turned into a cow and watched by Argus. Different cow-related-adultering-Zeus-story

[@gerardjagroo]

Zeus turned into a White Bull and kidnapped Europa after persuading her to climb onto his back for a ride. In the books there was also a White Bull, a knight of the Kingsguard who was involved in the kidnapping of Lyanna Stark. Maybe she too was persuaded at first before being kidnapped and raped?

[@danielpattersontube]

I listened to this and all I learnt was that Meera used a frog trident

[@made-line7627]

Like that's _not_ the most important thing ever

[@emmanuelleduc7859]

Howl's moving Castle connection mention just blew my mind. As a fan of Miyazaki and GRRM, I am wonderstruck.

[@violetsapphire952]

"Jojen is totally confident that he can't die, but he still climbs up a tree. What does that mean?" Well, I think it means that just because he thinks he can't die doesn't mean he thinks he can't lose a leg.

[@tirzahgayla]

This is by far your best episode yet exposition-wise. Thank you from us optimists/dreamers.

[@brianmack2945]

Me, "woah, episode 100 and 101 were surprisingly streamlined" Episode 102, "POSEIDON WAS A FROG AND HIS BROTHER KNOCKED UP A COW!"

[@tomlangford1999]

Can't believe I missed this one. Well see you in 6 months gang

[@ayourmum8521]

Bruh I wish he did it consistently.

[@frankie9772]

For real though, it really will be six months if we’re still waiting even now.

[@ayourmum8521]

@@frankie9772 he’s made another episode

[@frankie9772]

@@ayourmum8521 It’s funny cause I was scrolling through his channel and only after writing this did I realize there was a fresh post. Sorry

[@ayourmum8521]

@@frankie9772 yea I guessed that. Nothing to be sorry about 👍

[@theshackledgamer799]

The phrase Schwifty was looking for was "triumph of the magical over the mundane."

[@lordpowell3788]

The 3 prongs for a frog spear isn't meant to really stab the frog at all but to cage it to the ground and sure maybe one of the sticks does stab into him. the point being as frogs are slippery and hoppy little creatures and having more points on the end of your stick increases your odds of getting him.

[@bro4life693]

Ned always told wonderful stories of Arthur Dayne. It’s possible that Howland, being close to Ned, also held him in extremely high regard like a personal hero. Killing your personal hero, simply for the sake of having no other choice, would probably leave most people psychologically damaged or even broken. That’s why he doesn’t go personally, he can never trust himself to hold destiny in his hands again. Especially if he actually did stab him in the back, besmirching his honor.

[@Darthxim]

Grey chains holding him down. Maesters wear chains. They also wear grey? Maybe this is a science/magic conflict metaphor?

[@elsiekarp]

Proud to be a member of the Ser Rodrik Cassel Appreciation Committee

[@nicktabak6982]

Heyoo!! Although the movie Howls Moving Castle came out in 2004, the original book by Dianna Wynne Jones came out in 1986. I 100% believe GRRM got inspiration from that book! :)

[@rhythmchyc3089]

The philosophizing at the end specifically is just so so great. Thanks Schwifty! As long as you have these livestreams, I’ll be listening.

[@klaraloblova1993]

I really live your take on this series, all your analysis, personal opinions and little jokes 🙂 it's such a treat to listen to you.

[@oxosoleil]

Re: Mirri Maz Duur....she did heal initially Drogo. He tore the poultice off because it was itchy (which is a normal physical response) and it got infected. If he had left it alone or asked for a salve to soothe the itching, he would've been fine. Instead the infection ravaged his body and he got worse and worse until 🥔 His pride killed him.

[@starwarsnerd100]

If winterfell’s walls stopped magic, you’d think bran wouldn’t be able to see through its tree and talk to theon in adwd.

[@ayourmum8521]

This needs to be weekly!!!!!! Obviously do what you want schwift. I just want more schwift lol

[@SoCal818]

I wonder how many times Schwift uses the term "Machiavellian" in the whole abridged series. Got to be over 250 times by now.

[@sunkist1309]

Don’t forget about “eldritch”

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

‘cheesemonger’

[@kayls922]

“Lovecraftian”

[@jonahjoy5463]

"pragmatic" has to be the most frequently used term

[@creedbratton9417]

"Motley Crew"

[@snally6111]

This is such an unhinged episode lol. Didnt expect the complete history of Roderick Cassel in this one

[@starwarsnerd100]

Iirc Drogo stopped using the medicine Miri Mazdur gave him it burned, so her tore off his bandages and had his Dothraki healers cover his wound with soothing cool mud. It’s only after this that Drogo gets really sick. So it was only after ignoring Miris advice that he died.

[@dylanshuter1521]

So happy I caught a livestream! This channel is so much better than AltShiftX :)

[@rdh4534]

We dont talk about that wanker over here. #SchwiftySupremacy

[@dickbuttkis]

Who?

[@eirinnskecomics]

Never heard of her

[@lordsemen489]

What is that? A deodorant or something?

[@vestal7629]

Oh my go it's so funny that you mentioned The Supernaturalist!! I LOVED that book in middle school.

[@johnnysmall]

I think some poor lords can’t afford maesters don’t remember where i got that from tho. But as the main lords of the Neck it is very interesting that the Reeds don’t have one.

[@honeycomb97]

Love what you said about 'real' magic at the end, great stream

[@lookinforhumanz7640]

I think Drogon is the Stallion that Mounts The World, BURNING cities to dust.

[@gerardjagroo]

The spear and net combo was also used by Retarius gladiators in Ancient Rome

[@Blood8563]

that outro was Gold

[@roba3438]

Theory. Howland doesn't accompany Jojen and Meera because they've already seen the outcome of the journey in the green dreams. If house Reed is so faithful to the cult of the old gods they wouldn't question the calling and simply act. I think Jojen has a revelation when he arrives realising he and his people have been played by a great manipulator posing as a god (in the same way Euron hopes to represent himself as a god in the future). Further to that, I'm pretty sure that the visions sent to people by the 'red god' are much the same thing, the inveigling of mages in a tower somewhere curbing people to their will. Maybe.

[@Bloborus]

I always pictured lizard lions as like giant basilisks or frilled lizards, like the extinct megalania with a frill. Terrifying

[@snally6111]

I always pictured them as people trying to describe an alligator

[@nicholenarc]

The Cassels deserved better

[@trevinwolverine1904]

I'm finally caught up after three weeks of intense schwiftiness. Can't wait for the next episode of acok abridged

[@tirzahgayla]

me too a year later!

[@theanarchistcook]

I think Howland really did stab Arthur in the back, and it caused a falling out between him and Ned. The way Ned talks about Arthur being the greatest knight ever, Howland and Ned never see each other again, people talk about the Crannogmen as being treacherous, dirty fighters, etc., Ned brings Dawn back to his family and Ashara kills herself. That's why Howland couldn't show his face and had to send his kids.

[@amanda.please]

I started watching two months ago and I am finally caught up!! I hope I can catch the next stream!

[@tirzahgayla]

i'm getting caught up a year after you - so fun

[@stephaniec9539]

Yay for Rodrick!

[@teddyli4763]

The imaginary chat was brilliant

[@user-wy6nx1du7n]

Howland reed doesnt leave the neck because like you said he is part child of the forest and children age very slowly and he needs to hide this so non frogmen dont freakout

[@frankie9772]

I enjoyed this.

[@varsoonhks3211]

The legend returns

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

Wonder if the endgame of this series is just gonna be assholes vs. magical assholes when it’s all said and done.

[@spunkmckunkle5604]

Fucking hell, I've been trying to remember the name of the Supernaturalist for ages, and you just bring it up out of nowhere.

[@isq6672]

Oh no. I’ve watched all the videos on this channel. Wtf am I going to do now?

[@starwarsnerd100]

Holy crap I completely forgot about The Supernaturalist until you started describing it.

[@gerardjagroo]

Zeus took the form of a White Bull and kidnapped Europa after persuading her to climb on his back In the ASOIAF there is also another White Bull ie Gerold Hightower who along with Rhaegar supposedly kidnapped and imprisoned Lyanna Stark. Perhaps, Lyanna was also persuaded to go along with the White Bull and Rhaegar, but no sooner was she away than she was kidnapped for real and raped, just like Europa

[@rubbish_kat]

Danny’s big weakness is her entitlement and i think that’ll be a big part of her potential eventual destructive arc. It was because of her Miri Mazdrs village was burned and her and her people raped and killed, but Danny still felt she was entitled to their loyalty and love because she ‘saved them’ after HER husband had just destroyed their lived, for her. It’s going to be a rude awakening for her to come to Westeros, still in her ‘liberator’ mindset, expecting the people of Westeros to love and welcome her the same way the slaves she freed did. Danny doesn’t burn ‘innocents’ on purpose, but she absolutely will burn people she thinks have wronged her (even when she wronged them first) and if the people of Westeros are throwing their support and love to someone else, probably Young Griff, the ‘false dragon’ I can absolutely see that pushing Danny towards a dangerous mindset where she doesn’t quite see them as innocents anymore. She feels entitled not only to the throne, but to adoration and loyalty. It would definitely drive her nuts to see all she feels she is owed given to an impostor.

[@traebrunson2108]

this is sooooo awsome!!

[@peen2804]

Regarding brans lack of appearance later in got I think was due to him wanting to finish him schooling proper and d&d didn’t want to replace him. That’s why he basically wasn’t in the show for a season or two

[@SupposeIRose]

He was only not there for one season (5) and the reason is most definitely just that the showrunners didn't care about his plotline or anything magic related. That's not in dispute.

[@peen2804]

@@SupposeIRose you sound like a salty man-child that is still butthurt over a tv show lmao. That’s not in dispute 😂 hempstead literally talked about it in an interview try hitting up Google sometime I can show you how if you need help

[@undeniableparadox7458]

58:35 I mean, if there was a Mrs Alt Schwift X…

[@vivvy_0]

your whole talk about magic vs logic makes me think of the visual novel umineko when they cry - a japanese murder mystery series which might be even longer then the grrm books.

[@yetipotato8567]

Americas is named after a Italian bloke Amerigo Vespucci. How wack would it be if we would have North and South Vespuccia etc. Or we would have named it after some agreed on native american word for land/ home etc Or we would have named it after the viking bloke who visited there in medival times.

[@BroskiGamiing]

damn woke up late please do more soon!!!!!

[@ikesweitzer9815]

“Africa” is a Latin word used by the Romans for North Africa or Libya

[@lurksnitchtongue8986]

In particular it comes from Scipio Africanus beating Hannibal and later launching a successful invasion into northern Africa.

[@incanusolorin2607]

@@lurksnitchtongue8986 I think it’s the other way around. Scipio got the Africanus title because of his victory in North Africa.

[@lurksnitchtongue8986]

@@incanusolorin2607 nevermind I looked it up, you're right.

[@QueenDaenerysTargaryen]

Bran is strange🔥🔥🔥

[@ELFBOYMUSIC]

This dude is SO smart. What an elegant speaker.

[@MrKarpo]

Damn I missed the live, the live on my nameday! Bugger me with a bloody spear...

[@glsapp23]

The frog spears are referencing real-life frog gigs.

[@tuulenkoti]

Theyre actually easy AF to make. You just forge a spear and then Rib-it.

[@Gwestytears]

What if some kind of eclipse or volcanic eruption or meteor caused the long night?

[@noaht2]

His Dark Materials begins and ends with the word "Lyra"

[@hekcis]

Thanks for spoiling the ending *sad face

[@AuthFailed]

Tom Waits reference! Wow

[@joeybarber8969]

This is my life

[@calvincoolidge6627]

Bran magic ACOK

[@thyagosaints]

Where's the video about Meera Frog spear?

[@TheEscapeDiary9th]

Noice. Something to listen to while I work

[@nightsage217]

In the end of the day, everyone wants to be techno wizard. yo.

[@w0ttheh3ll]

shoutout to hiro protagonist.

[@margaritaquiroga8712]

Greetings from Germany 😊

[@sadiomayonnaise5318]

Thx mommy schwift

[@deffientllynotjalenbutler1736]

Poor delicious jojen

[@skullshapedbox]

Dang, maybe next time!

[@stephaniec9539]

[@stephaniec9539]

#timetravellingbran confirmed

[@classicdansmith]

I started reading the books after christmas and my pacing has well surpassed this series. Currently on early AFFC/ADWD doing a combined reading

[@ayourmum8521]

Yea schwift is going a precise pace to finish a dance with dragons by the time George is done with winds of winter.

[@crysj5225]

Myrcella could be the younger, more beautiful queen (if there is another success attempt at crowning her) 👀👀👀👀👀 - idk, that just popped into my head)

[@made-line7627]

I'm down. Would be super deep for Cersei's daughter to be the one she fears so much 👸🏼

[@lukastaylor9544]

couldnt the stallion who mounts the world = one of her dragons? in that case the jury would be still out on that prophecy. maybe i forgot some of the specifics of that book, it's been a while

[@gnomequeen1542]

1:08:18 i love this man so fucking much

[@-zSoloSz-]

1:04:30 Bran is in the crypts and jon smells death

[@ingainloggningsnamn]

Which asian bloke is he referring to? 3:20, sorry that haitan* bloke, but I don't get the reference.

[@Brando64]

President President Moïse of Haiti who was assassinated on July 9th,2021. U.S. Time.

[@jovial.milieu]

Was hoping for a Q&A but didn't get one unfortunately. Is there any way you could answer my burning question here, which is - What are your top 3 favourite movies? I've been dying for a good movie recommendation for about a year now, so I could use your expert opinion. Love you and your content!

[@AltSchwiftX]

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

[@AltSchwiftX]

Thanks for listening 😊

[@jovial.milieu]

@@AltSchwiftX Thank you for the reply, I'll make sure to watch it even though it's definitely not something I usually watch lol Have a nice day/night

[@TG-ob5fn]

@@jovial.milieu its ridiculously funny

[@PlatipuseKing]

AW FUCK AW SHIT I MISSED IT WHAT

[@louiscassis3426]

Lizard lions are Komodo dragons.

[@lopezland8436]

🤤 love this shit

[@stephaniec9539]

My kids dad would root a cow

[@Mari-tc4gw]

50:23

[@AlbertAlbertB.]

Pronounce ACOK as if it is a word, and you will never say it otherwise again.

[@T00THY_0RiFiCE]

wasn't that really dumb of Ser Rodrik to kill who he thinks is Ramsay, while Roose is an ally of the Starks?

[@mehmeh2255]

roose may have to do *something* for form to say the starks cant just do whatever, but i think his actual feeling about ramsays death would be closer to "oh no.... how could this happen... however will i cope with losing the worst person in the north"

[@starwarsnerd100]

It’s not like Rodrick went on a rescue mission on his own, and it’s not like ramsay kidnapping Lady Hornwood was publicly accepted. Iirc if Rodrick didn’t go someone would have been sent after him anyways.

[@moinab]

I don’t think anyone likes being mocked or laughed at.

[@nononono3421]

Jon isn't dead, just critically wounded. Mel will heal him like Mirri did. But Jon will be "lost" in Ghost, forgetting himself, so Mel will have Ghost killed to force him back in his body. This would reveal to us what really happened with Drogo, and that his spirit lives on somewhere (maybe in Drogon) but since Dany killed his body he can't return. Real Valonqar is Victarion, he attacks Cersei during the sack of KL by Dany's troops to get back at Euron. She doesn't die, she has a miscarriage. She survives and flees with Jaime who came in at the last minute and kills Victarion. They flee, but they end up stumbling on Aerys' wildfire cache and Jaime lights it up to blow everything up and give everyone a big FU as they die together.

[@lurksnitchtongue8986]

This is some pretty schizo theories, but interesting

[@nononono3421]

@@lurksnitchtongue8986 "There is no wine so sweet as wine taken from a foe. One day I shall drink your wine, Crow's Eye, and take from you all that you hold dear." Jaime's dream has him going down the dark tunnels of the Red Keep towards his death.

[@lurksnitchtongue8986]

@@nononono3421 Considering the show killed Jaime beneath the Red Keep I can buy that's where he dies, but I'm not so sure about the rest of it. I think Victarion will die in WoW. I also think Jamie blowing up the city is antithetical to his character. I do really like your first idea about Drogo in Drogon, but unfortunately its probably not true. We just have no evidence that Drogo was a skinchanger, and generally you have to bond with an animal to skinchange it.

[@nononono3421]

@@lurksnitchtongue8986 I think Mirri forced his spirit out, so he didn't have to be a skinchanger, she just had to trap it somewhere. As for Jaime, I think his character is all about being unable to redeem himself as people ultimately will never absolve him of his past no matter what he does, and also that after helping "save the world" he'll be pissed to see people still fight over their own lies and faults, especially as Victarion heads to the Red Keep to go kill Cersei to get back at Euron who like in the show will have married her by then or some such. I think the show was closer than people realize to the expected ending. Although I believe the show didn't finish the story, I think it was supposed to go on after Bran becomes king but D&D didn't want to. Bran looking for Drogon and the weirwood still existing and Bran feeling like a villain I feel is not the ending, just a part before the actual ending. Bran essentially uses magic to wipe out all opposition to his own power, and I think he was supposed to skinchange the masterless Drogon to burn down the weirwoods (Mhysa Mhysa = Nissa Nissa, Drogon is a figurative Lightbringer, Bran manipulates someone to kill Dany and unbind her control of Drogon eseentially), and Tyrion would in the end lead the attack to kill the last dragon (killing his childhood dream) and hence kill Bran and save the day.

[@Roach613]

Fuck i missed it

[@stephaniec9539]

Mr beast shout out!

[@WanderingPropeller]

The Icarus bit on this reminded me of: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iXqtg6Svrd2hic0

[@TurinInquisitor]

ah yes, this reminds me once i cared about asoiaf. unfortunately *I NeVer ReAlLy CaRed fOr tHeM* and *wHo hAs a bEtTeR sToRy tHaN bRaN tHe bRoKeN?* and *WhILE daNY KiNd oF FORgOT abOUT tHe irOn FLEeT* happened and I've been trying really hard to forget this dogshit never ending franchise exists.

[@made-line7627]

AreyoumarriedAltSchwiftX?CauseILuvu

[@SoCal818]

Just skip the first hour, pointless rambling which covers maybe 2 to 3 pages.

[@incanusolorin2607]

Why are you even here, if not for the pointless rambling?

[@trevinwolverine1904]

There are a few other channels that are reading the books so give em a look

[@fazediamond5671]

Stop rambling