Game of Thrones Abridged

[@sunkist1309]

a harrenhall wooden spoon has got to be 3 times bigger than any regular spoon

[@hertohen6119]

Just finished watching the whole Abridged series yesterday and already joined the live stream for the first time today. Glad to have been a part!

[@jovial.milieu]

Great, enjoy the monthly wait now, lol

[@LawlTwins]

Man... This Schwift guy is way better than Alt Shift X. More relatable yakno? *Scratches bollocks*

[@MrSilvUr]

Colored scars from the description of the Bloody Mummers are tattoos; Arya's never seen a tattoo before. Those are probably... Ghiscary(?) slave soldiers?

[@famowx]

It does sound like tattoos based on the wording. It could be tattoos on top of or alongside scars, lots of cultures practiced deliberate scarification for body art.

[@kansasXcityXstealth]

I can’t believe I’m to the point where I’ve gone through the whole series & I look forward to new videos. Thanks for creating all of this incredible content.

[@tessierashpoolmg7776]

Just want to say that I'm hearing impaired and very much appreciate your attention to the closed captions. Easily the best I've seen on KZbin. Fascinating content as well!

[@evancarlson5805]

Also, people in the chat talking about how Arya wasted her three names are completely missing the point.

[@abrarbw]

Jaqen mentions the Red God and his due because Arya saved them from "burning".

[@ameliabrittain3689]

The first 5 minutes coould legit just be a full on monologue. Gonna perform that at my next night at the black box lmaoo

[@larperdixon723]

Just when I thought my halloween couldn’t get any spookier, God damn

[@TraciPeteyforlife]

Arya is truly one of the wisest people in the series. She understands how to keep off the radar. Pia actually got some justice when Jamie executed some of her abusers. In fully honesty we I don't think that we will ever see Winds.

[@micahmcfadden8082]

Her scenes with tywin were her convos with roose in the books with some added banter

[@jamaphy8621]

Brilliant as always

[@IngTomT]

When I picture a wooden spoon I see a stick as long as my forearm with a head the size of my hand made to stir huge pots in a company's kitchen. I bet that hurts like hell.

[@ShubertReads]

It does!

[@schwiggwigg9105]

At some point a large spoon just becomes a club or rather a wooden mace, so you are probably right.

[@quanyintv]

I've been beat with wooden spoons and my mom focused on the knuckles and the head. It's very affective

[@gobblegobble5567]

Please my man, if you can, keep these coming.

[@blanketsquares7607]

The harrenhal chapters and Jon beyond the wall with the half hand running from the wildlings chapters are the scariest, I think.

[@steveandortudge]

A regular Raichu... It's not just the soul searching analysis. I come for the zingers

[@majestichotdog1195]

schwifty my man finally you're back!

[@BrightBrandi]

Oh boy I love this abridged reading and maybe we'll finish the series before I die of old age

[@ItsRyanDunn]

I’ve seen many theories as to why Jaqen H’ghar was traveling with the caravan heading North, or how he ended up in the black cells to begin with. Could it just be as simple as the faceless men becoming aware of Arya’s list, or rather, her prayers? After all, she has suffered an enormous amount of trauma at the hands of an oppressive Lannister regime. Repeating her prayer every night could have manifested an answer from the Many-faced God.

[@renaigh]

the world does not revolve around the characters, they are simply a window showing a very specific part of it.

[@DrSwiftkiller]

It's most likely that he was the Faceless Man hired by Euron Greyjoy to kill his brother Balon. Once crossing the Narrow Sea to King's Landing, that Faceless Man thought pretending to be a prisoner being taken by Yoren north towards the Wall was a easy way to travel. He would presumably break free before the convoy would cross the Neck and find a boat to sail to the Iron Islands to make the assassination. Once the job is done, he would sail south to Oldtown and impersonate Pate.

[@ItsRyanDunn]

@@DrSwiftkiller alright, but the happenstance that he is traveling at the same time as Arya is no less of a coincidence. Arya traveling to Braavos to train under the MFG is crucial to the arc of her character. Jaqen had been there for a specific purpose.. I don’t think he’d give an iron coin of Braavos, linked to the house of black and white, to any undeserving child.

[@DrSwiftkiller]

@@ItsRyanDunnKilling Balon was that specific purpose. It's AFTER being saved by Arya that the relationship begins and ends when 'Jaqen' dies. He gives her the coin AFTER she refuses his offer to go to Braavos in favor of returning to Winterfell, just in case she changes her mind. That Plan B offer is only taken once her original plan fails thanks to the Red Wedding, believing her family is gone. The 'three names' offer was for saving him and the offer to Braavos was for clever use of the 'third name'.

[@Idalych]

Man by the time Schwifty finishes this series, GRM will be done A Dream of Spring

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

lol

[@jackhill3273]

My money's still on Shwift, unfortunately...

[@zacharyrihner4825]

Super spooky Schwift keep em coming

[@nunosantosdev]

I love this chap

[@Luminousreign]

The thing with Jaquen owing Arya is definitely a core tenet of their religion. We pretty much see someone receiving the mercy to hire them. It is probably what happened in old Valyria and why they started with the slaves too. Only death can pay for life.

[@louisroy4911]

What an intro!

[@cbirnbaum2]

He says the Red God, because they were going to die in a fire, and we all know Rhol'lor loves a good sacrifice via burning alive. Hence the Red God must be compensated for the 3 spirited away from his all consuming flame.

[@made-line7627]

Did you really not get the wooden spoon in childhood??? Daily fixture in my 90s, five-errant-children house

[@klaraloblova1993]

I love your videos so much, please never stop!!!

[@mc-funk]

what's really cool is that we really get the payoff for this whittling away at Arya's humanity in the show when she returns to her homeland and members of her family and we can see how profound this is for her 😐

[@kdubwines5384]

I think Alt Schwift X is just the drunken alter ego of Alt Shift X 😂

[@faisalkamal4319]

1:13:01 the girl's brother

[@themalcore_]

If you don't think a spoon can be a good weapon then you really need to watch "The Horribly Slow Murderer With the Extremely Inefficient Weapon." on KZbin.

[@adipsous]

Thanks for the referral. That was amazing.

[@YggdrasilAudio]

Jacqen probably mentioned the Red God because Arya saved them from a fire.

[@adipsous]

Ozymandias is the ego in regular old self important ego-ridden folk.

[@HoneyPiss]

35:21 my favorite pokemon ⚡🧡⚡

[@jennycomelately]

Jfc Arya is literally saving Sam and delivering justice to child murderers in her most recent chapters and all these Fandom Dude bros still have the nerve to say she’s “lOsInG hEr CoMpAsSiON” Jfc

[@deffientllynotjalenbutler1736]

Wheese is the embodiment of middle management

[@saminator3563]

The part where you brought up Arya not wanting to learn names. Foreshadowing her not leaning names to be able to kill them when she joins the house of B&W? Also was the merc company Prince Oberyn started the mummers you think?

[@MrReidtemple]

Schwift... i must know have you seen any Akira Kurosawa movies? Based on your talks about feudalism, social structures and the evil they provoke from humanity, I think you would eat up his movies (especially seven samurai and ran)

[@Trascist]

Faceless man: *has a beautiful face*

[@bloodravnclw7261]

Time to throw my "Thank you" Rock at someone ❤ And I would like to see Vargo Hoats Instagram page, just to mention it

[@TK-kn2kx]

Jaqen mentions the red god, because she saved the 3 from the fire.

[@jameskurocik6352]

Awesome. Keep it up!

[@Sybilara]

Ginger & clove mystery? During autumn what do you think Hot Pie is baking?

[@faisalkamal4319]

I think harren was compensating for something

[@zafelrede4884]

1:25 he got a little bit off track there...

[@jessicalowery3718]

Take wooden spoon , drill some holes in it and it stings like hell. Called it the “spanking spoon”.

[@TheJayFeeney]

Thanks man!!

[@Kepseridkimbadatnames]

Eventually the first few minutes of these streams are just going to be wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWelcome

[@sadiomayonnaise5318]

Wwwwwwwwwelcome!

[@simoncejka9121]

How is big wooden spoon used to stir a pot/cauldron called in english?

[@roadiejames]

Halloweenie! Reminds me of Frankenweenie!

[@martisole6249]

is this actually faster than just reading the actual books? i feel like it cant be ahahha

[@SarahOpossum]

Only with severe dyslexia 😂

[@grady.flanary]

Book of the New Sun Abridged waiting room.

[@tomstein7131]

how have i only just found this series this is awesome. shame i can’t justify spending the time to go back and watch all of it

[@ShubertReads]

Lol, I have listened through the whole series at least 3-4 times. You can listen to it in podcast form so you have no excuse!

[@rikkeholmberg]

You need to get your priorities in order

[@kansasXcityXstealth]

Throw it on at night, best time to listen

[@deffientllynotjalenbutler1736]

Top 10 spooky chapters

[@tessierashpoolmg7776]

How about a sequel following Arya's arc beyond the ending of GOT? The cornerstone of a great tale has already been laid.

[@Hank49716]

Wooden spoons hurt

[@TheHonoredMadman]

Yo shift man have you watched the leftovers

[@neophytus4628]

Been binging the serious and it's actually pretty awful that there is such a huge amount of space between these. I hope to see the day schwift becomes better than George and stops playing with our love for him

[@Oceanleighside]

Why did Arya not ask for The Mountain to be killed?

[@richmackin]

The red god wanted those men because they were to be burned to death. He's invoke the drowned god if they were about to drown.

[@Betzen322]

I love all you work… but read Leviathan Wakes

[@dragonrider4339]

My fan theory.. i think Jaquen is actually a part of the creed..😂 Assassins Creed, and thd next a/c game should be based in westeros 😂😂 The house of black and white was really the birth place for the order of assassins in assassins creed.. 😂😂🎮🎧That would be awesome.. An assassins creed game based in westeros and for the dlc content you get essos and Yity 😂, and Valyria.. 😂😂😂

[@jackhill3273]

I'd actually play an Assassins Creed game if it was based in Westeros.

[@dragonrider4339]

@@jackhill3273 who wouldnt? Lol

[@QueenDaenerysTargaryen]

Interesting👍

[@deesnutz84]

tywin is a beast, why u hating?

[@evancarlson5805]

Do you ever see the meme about rooting for an asteroid to hit earth because people suck? Do you think GRRM is that type of person who will write an ending where the Others win? Daenerys can't be the one to break the wheel because she's just another spoke on it, wanting to rule Westeros because it's her right as a Targaryen.

[@imrain2548]

49:00

[@capcap2563]

Is this man drunk before stream ?

[@louiscassis3426]

Not to excuse Gregor but maybe he’s got CTE from being bashed in the head too many times.

[@nightsage217]

you are my enclosed office block's internal space metaphorically installed artificial lumen attuned sun shine.

[@yakirchernin6015]

Well. I guess I'll build an alt shiwft zigurat

[@lukastaylor9544]

It’s a shame you and alt shift x don’t get along

[@georgeroberts7855]

Iam sorry did you say you don't know how a wooden spoon can be used to beat a child? Iam telling you right now it can be and worse.

[@nononono3421]

Jaqen Hagar is a gingerbread man.

[@isq6672]

dang I missed the live stream

[@DupreDiggs]

God damn it, 2 hours late for the live stream

[@cafi1999217]

well, wtf do i do with my life now

[@AS-qy1zl]

Tywin is a boomer

[@KickapooNinja]

I missed the live stream!!!

[@australianperson2582]

Hey, this guy sounds okay to me, but he should start going out clubbing with Ukrainians

[@yakirchernin6015]

acockabridge!!!!!!!@

[@tokevarvaspolvi8999]

oh sorry, i thought this was ACOKabridged. didn't mean to disturb, carry on

[@classicdansmith]

It’s quicker to just read the books yourself than watching these videos lol

[@KindredKin]

first 400 EZ Clap