Game of Thrones Abridged

Subscribe to the podcast: altschwiftx.simplecast.fm/
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/4VMQJhR...
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/podcast/al...
Google Podcasts: www.google.com/podcasts?feed=...
Twitter: / altschwiftx
Facebook group: / 148969352315008
Discord: / discord
Stream donations: streamlabs.com/altschwiftx
Buy A Game of Thrones (ASOIAF Book 1): amzn.to/292Jmwy
Buy ASOIAF Books 1-5: amzn.to/2970vVu

[@sunkist1309]

a harrenhall wooden spoon has got to be 3 times bigger than any regular spoon

[@LawlTwins]

Man... This Schwift guy is way better than Alt Shift X. More relatable yakno? *Scratches bollocks*

[@MrSilvUr]

Colored scars from the description of the Bloody Mummers are tattoos; Arya's never seen a tattoo before. Those are probably... Ghiscary(?) slave soldiers?

[@famowx]

It does sound like tattoos based on the wording. It could be tattoos on top of or alongside scars, lots of cultures practiced deliberate scarification for body art.

[@hertohen6119]

Just finished watching the whole Abridged series yesterday and already joined the live stream for the first time today. Glad to have been a part!

[@jovial.milieu]

Great, enjoy the monthly wait now, lol

[@abrarbw]

Jaqen mentions the Red God and his due because Arya saved them from "burning".

[@kansasXcityXstealth]

I can’t believe I’m to the point where I’ve gone through the whole series & I look forward to new videos. Thanks for creating all of this incredible content.

[@quanyintv]

I've been beat with wooden spoons and my mom focused on the knuckles and the head. It's very affective

[@blanketsquares7607]

The harrenhal chapters and Jon beyond the wall with the half hand running from the wildlings chapters are the scariest, I think.

[@larperdixon723]

Just when I thought my halloween couldn’t get any spookier, God damn

[@TraciPeteyforlife]

Arya is truly one of the wisest people in the series. She understands how to keep off the radar. Pia actually got some justice when Jamie executed some of her abusers. In fully honesty we I don't think that we will ever see Winds.

[@IngTomT]

When I picture a wooden spoon I see a stick as long as my forearm with a head the size of my hand made to stir huge pots in a company's kitchen. I bet that hurts like hell.

[@ShubertReads]

It does!

[@schwiggwigg9105]

At some point a large spoon just becomes a club or rather a wooden mace, so you are probably right.

[@micahmcfadden8082]

Her scenes with tywin were her convos with roose in the books with some added banter

[@tessierashpoolmg7776]

Just want to say that I'm hearing impaired and very much appreciate your attention to the closed captions. Easily the best I've seen on KZbin. Fascinating content as well!

[@steveandortudge]

A regular Raichu... It's not just the soul searching analysis. I come for the zingers

[@made-line7627]

Did you really not get the wooden spoon in childhood??? Daily fixture in my 90s, five-errant-children house

[@cbirnbaum2]

He says the Red God, because they were going to die in a fire, and we all know Rhol'lor loves a good sacrifice via burning alive. Hence the Red God must be compensated for the 3 spirited away from his all consuming flame.

[@gobblegobble5567]

Please my man, if you can, keep these coming.

[@jamaphy8621]

Brilliant as always

[@ItsRyanDunn]

I’ve seen many theories as to why Jaqen H’ghar was traveling with the caravan heading North, or how he ended up in the black cells to begin with. Could it just be as simple as the faceless men becoming aware of Arya’s list, or rather, her prayers? After all, she has suffered an enormous amount of trauma at the hands of an oppressive Lannister regime. Repeating her prayer every night could have manifested an answer from the Many-faced God.

[@renaigh]

the world does not revolve around the characters, they are simply a window showing a very specific part of it.

[@DrSwiftkiller]

It's most likely that he was the Faceless Man hired by Euron Greyjoy to kill his brother Balon. Once crossing the Narrow Sea to King's Landing, that Faceless Man thought pretending to be a prisoner being taken by Yoren north towards the Wall was a easy way to travel. He would presumably break free before the convoy would cross the Neck and find a boat to sail to the Iron Islands to make the assassination. Once the job is done, he would sail south to Oldtown and impersonate Pate.

[@ItsRyanDunn]

@@DrSwiftkiller alright, but the happenstance that he is traveling at the same time as Arya is no less of a coincidence. Arya traveling to Braavos to train under the MFG is crucial to the arc of her character. Jaqen had been there for a specific purpose.. I don’t think he’d give an iron coin of Braavos, linked to the house of black and white, to any undeserving child.

[@DrSwiftkiller]

@@ItsRyanDunnKilling Balon was that specific purpose. It's AFTER being saved by Arya that the relationship begins and ends when 'Jaqen' dies. He gives her the coin AFTER she refuses his offer to go to Braavos in favor of returning to Winterfell, just in case she changes her mind. That Plan B offer is only taken once her original plan fails thanks to the Red Wedding, believing her family is gone. The 'three names' offer was for saving him and the offer to Braavos was for clever use of the 'third name'.

[@majestichotdog1195]

schwifty my man finally you're back!

[@zacharyrihner4825]

Super spooky Schwift keep em coming

[@Idalych]

Man by the time Schwifty finishes this series, GRM will be done A Dream of Spring

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

lol

[@jackhill3273]

My money's still on Shwift, unfortunately...

[@klaraloblova1993]

I love your videos so much, please never stop!!!

[@MicahRibbentrop]

Oh boy I love this abridged reading and maybe we'll finish the series before I die of old age

[@kdubwines5384]

I think Alt Schwift X is just the drunken alter ego of Alt Shift X 😂

[@MichelleCFunk]

what's really cool is that we really get the payoff for this whittling away at Arya's humanity in the show when she returns to her homeland and members of her family and we can see how profound this is for her 😐

[@evancarlson5805]

Also, people in the chat talking about how Arya wasted her three names are completely missing the point.

[@TK-kn2kx]

Jaqen mentions the red god, because she saved the 3 from the fire.

[@jameskurocik6352]

Awesome. Keep it up!

[@louisroy4911]

What an intro!

[@TheJayFeeney]

Thanks man!!

[@nunoRRsantos]

I love this chap

[@Kepseridkimbadatnames]

Eventually the first few minutes of these streams are just going to be wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWelcome

[@themalcore_]

If you don't think a spoon can be a good weapon then you really need to watch "The Horribly Slow Murderer With the Extremely Inefficient Weapon." on KZbin.

[@adipsous]

Thanks for the referral. That was amazing.

[@adipsous]

Ozymandias is the ego in regular old self important ego-ridden folk.

[@YggdrasilAudio]

Jacqen probably mentioned the Red God because Arya saved them from a fire.

[@Trascist]

Faceless man: *has a beautiful face*

[@bloodravnclw7261]

Time to throw my "Thank you" Rock at someone ❤ And I would like to see Vargo Hoats Instagram page, just to mention it

[@saminator3563]

The part where you brought up Arya not wanting to learn names. Foreshadowing her not leaning names to be able to kill them when she joins the house of B&W? Also was the merc company Prince Oberyn started the mummers you think?

[@deffientllynotjalenbutler1736]

Top 10 spooky chapters

[@sadiomayonnaise5318]

Wwwwwwwwwelcome!

[@tessierashpoolmg7776]

How about a sequel following Arya's arc beyond the ending of GOT? The cornerstone of a great tale has already been laid.

[@Sybilara]

Ginger & clove mystery? During autumn what do you think Hot Pie is baking?

[@faisalkamal4319]

I think harren was compensating for something

[@TheHonoredMadman]

Yo shift man have you watched the leftovers

[@tomstein7131]

how have i only just found this series this is awesome. shame i can’t justify spending the time to go back and watch all of it

[@ShubertReads]

Lol, I have listened through the whole series at least 3-4 times. You can listen to it in podcast form so you have no excuse!

[@rikkeholmberg]

You need to get your priorities in order

[@kansasXcityXstealth]

Throw it on at night, best time to listen

[@MrReidtemple]

Schwift... i must know have you seen any Akira Kurosawa movies? Based on your talks about feudalism, social structures and the evil they provoke from humanity, I think you would eat up his movies (especially seven samurai and ran)

[@neophytus4628]

Been binging the serious and it's actually pretty awful that there is such a huge amount of space between these. I hope to see the day schwift becomes better than George and stops playing with our love for him

[@evancarlson5805]

Do you ever see the meme about rooting for an asteroid to hit earth because people suck? Do you think GRRM is that type of person who will write an ending where the Others win? Daenerys can't be the one to break the wheel because she's just another spoke on it, wanting to rule Westeros because it's her right as a Targaryen.

[@jordanmertens8972]

35:21 my favorite pokemon ⚡🧡⚡

[@jessicalowery3718]

Take wooden spoon , drill some holes in it and it stings like hell. Called it the “spanking spoon”.

[@QueenDaenerysTargaryen]

Interesting👍

[@faisalkamal4319]

1:13:01 the girl's brother

[@Hank49716]

Wooden spoons hurt

[@grady.flanary]

Book of the New Sun Abridged waiting room.

[@Betzen322]

I love all you work… but read Leviathan Wakes

[@martisole6249]

is this actually faster than just reading the actual books? i feel like it cant be ahahha

[@SarahOpossum]

Only with severe dyslexia 😂

[@simoncejka9121]

How is big wooden spoon used to stir a pot/cauldron called in english?

[@roadiejames]

Halloweenie! Reminds me of Frankenweenie!

[@Oceanleighside]

Why did Arya not ask for The Mountain to be killed?

[@louiscassis3426]

Not to excuse Gregor but maybe he’s got CTE from being bashed in the head too many times.

[@zafelrede4884]

1:25 he got a little bit off track there...

[@deesnutz84]

tywin is a beast, why u hating?

[@davidabbed4842]

I thought this was Dane Cook video, but very informative and entertaining.

[@yakirchernin6015]

Well. I guess I'll build an alt shiwft zigurat

[@lukastaylor9544]

It’s a shame you and alt shift x don’t get along

[@imrain2548]

49:00

[@capcap2563]

Is this man drunk before stream ?

[@nightsage217]

you are my enclosed office block's internal space metaphorically installed artificial lumen attuned sun shine.

[@nononono3421]

Jaqen Hagar is a gingerbread man.

[@dragonrider4339]

My fan theory.. i think Jaquen is actually a part of the creed..😂 Assassins Creed, and thd next a/c game should be based in westeros 😂😂 The house of black and white was really the birth place for the order of assassins in assassins creed.. 😂😂🎮🎧That would be awesome.. An assassins creed game based in westeros and for the dlc content you get essos and Yity 😂, and Valyria.. 😂😂😂

[@jackhill3273]

I'd actually play an Assassins Creed game if it was based in Westeros.

[@dragonrider4339]

@@jackhill3273 who wouldnt? Lol

[@DupreDiggs]

God damn it, 2 hours late for the live stream

[@isq6672]

dang I missed the live stream

[@georgeroberts7855]

Iam sorry did you say you don't know how a wooden spoon can be used to beat a child? Iam telling you right now it can be and worse.

[@yakirchernin6015]

acockabridge!!!!!!!@

[@cafi1999217]

well, wtf do i do with my life now

[@KickapooNinja]

I missed the live stream!!!

[@tokevarvaspolvi8999]

oh sorry, i thought this was ACOKabridged. didn't mean to disturb, carry on

[@classicdansmith]

It’s quicker to just read the books yourself than watching these videos lol

[@australianperson2582]

Hey, this guy sounds okay to me, but he should start going out clubbing with Ukrainians

[@KindredKin]

first 400 EZ Clap