Game of Thrones Abridged #35: Catelyn VI, AGOT

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[@joelmurphy9897]

"Like the garden of Eden with less snakes" Stannis: ... fewer.

[@ElCookieBandit]

For now anyway, until shortfinger shows up.

[@alexrockas3704]

@@ElCookieBandit when does Davos go to the vale?

[@catathielemann3239]

Penelope, she was Odysseus wife. I have to say this is one of my favorite episodes, not because of Cat, but because of all the humor and the tangents. I laughed a lot, you're amazing, Alt dear.

[@mishasubin]

Catelyn Thielemann

[@TheHazmat347]

You ever think that Cat was supposed to marry Brandon but ended up with Ned - turns out that Catfish got catfished in the end.

[@Austin_Collett]

Maya Stone is one of my favorite side characters

[@1234ommot]

if i'm ever not a poor student i would definitely donate on a patreon

[@suzannah991]

Are you still poor?

[@1234ommot]

@@suzannah991 hahaha called out - is there a patreon now? though content's not very regular these days

[@suzannah991]

@@1234ommot I have no idea. But I bet he has one. You could also just turn off adblockers so he can get paid that way too.

[@redcd3743]

As a Greek person, I appreciate all ur references to anything Greek! So, Odysseus' wife was Penelope, their son was Telemachus! The wife that killed her husband was Clytemnestra, the wife of Agamemnon (brother of Menelaus); she and her lover Aegisthus murdered Agamemnon (with some help from her son, Orestis) at the gates of Mykynes, right after he returned from the war in Troy, because before leaving (in order to have "good winds"), Agamemnon sacrificed their daughter Ifigeneia to the goddess Artemis (ofc, after returning from Troy Agamemnon brought with him as a "prize" the princess of Troy Cassandra, a sorceress that somehow warned everyone about all the bad things that would befall them, but nbd believed her -that's y Troy was destroyed by a wooden horse!). Clytemnestra was also Helen's half sister (their mother was Leda, but Helen was fathered by Zeus!!) . I am remembering everything and realising, damn, we knew how to make a good drama!!!! Great work, Schwift!

[@AnorhiDemarche]

Cassandra warned him that he'd get killed too. "maybe don't trust your wife who's been having a very public affair and hasn't forgiven you for sacrificing your daughter to Artemis" she said, before Clytemnestra caught him in a net and Aegisthus axed him a question or two until he died.

[@betteryou7hanme]

My favorite mythological Greek character is the legendary Mr. Panos

[@Pikepaw]

I really like this chapter. I was listening on Audible the other day though and realized that the Eyrie is kind of useless in a military point of view. One of the purposes of a castle is to control an area. Somewhere your troops can base up and defend themselves, but they need to be able to go out on the offensive. Otherwise armies would just go around them. But you can’t just go around a castle if their garrison will come out and stab you in the back as you continue to march. The Eyrie though doesn’t really provide that. Sure it has the massive granaries and can house 500 men…but those men would have to spend a whole day coming down the mountain on mules…in single file. It would take days to get all of them assembled at the bottom. The Bloody Gate is perfectly fine and works. But the Eyrie can be easily bypassed for an invader to take the valleys that have all the valuable resources. The Eyrie is nigh impossible to assault, but it is also not much of a threat to get attacked by it. Take the Bloody Gate and you are fine, leave the Arryn’s to sit at the top of the mountain. Feast for Crows really shows how vulnerable the Eyrie is to siege. Sure, it would take a long time, but unless they have someone very important at the top, who cares. I love the Eyrie and the description of its defences….but the whole thing is just excessive. It really is just a flaunting of wealth to build a big, impractical castle on top of a mountain and the costs to keep supplies coming up the mountain. They can’t even stay in it during the winter!

[@parokki]

Catfish are actually a pretty big group of species that often don't look much like each other at all. The really big ones are gross, but corydoras are some of the cutest things you can keep in an aquarium. Just try telling someone with a couple of corys that you wouldn't want to have sex with them and they'll probably punch you or something.

[@brianmack2945]

"It's like the Garden of Eden but with less snakes," hahaha

[@taylorgayhart9497]

"If you had to fuck a fish..." hahahaha this is still my favorite thing ever!!! 😂😂😂

[@postpunk6947]

Poor ser Rodrik and his magnificent whiskers... Killed by Ramsay Snow btw.

[@chukadoo1871]

really hoping mr. p.j. is on to something with Sweetrobin. always found the boy's fascination with "flying" interesting and he would seem a great crosspoint for the more material story to coincide with whatevers up with the weirwoods and the CotF.

[@nebsirrah1234]

biggest laugh of the series so far when he mentioned shape of boats, keep em coming shwift, love it.

[@deffientllynotjalenbutler1736]

One of the funniest posted formative things I’ve had the pleasure of viewing

[@mmmhh99DANONE]

Thanks for making time to read to us alt!

[@AltSchwiftX]

Thanks for listening!

[@lythaogg]

All the lovely tangents!

[@nickjimenez3236]

one of the funniest ones yet, great stuff

[@btarczy5067]

So one could say taking the High Road wasn‘t the best decision of Catelyn‘s life.

[@EmonEconomist]

13:07 "That's how it works. That's why boats are named after women; it's because they're shaped... eughgh. Anyway, um, so, then they sorta do some stuff..."

[@catathielemann3239]

Wow... 46 minutes... better finish baking quickly. Thanks a lot, Alt.

[@napiersh1]

Long day at work. Time to unwind and listen to an awesome bloke read a book... and abridge said book.

[@remckenna]

"It's like the Garden of Eden with less snakes." Ha!

[@moostymoosty7857]

shadowcats for years

[@gemmagrennan]

honestly these are such a treat! great start to my day today now 😀

[@hairlessoyster3689]

Gemma Grennan welcome !

[@mu2thehotness]

Catelyn = Cat fish. This theory is brilliant. Petyr thinks he lost his virginity to Cat when in actuality he was cat-fished by Lysa that night. That was like a big thing that informed his character, coz later Petyr even fights for Cat's hand with Ned's brother. And the soury fallout kinda kicked off the GOT series in a way

[@johnlavery3433]

Dolphins are mammals. And seriousl perverts

[@FinestSeven]

46 bloody minutes! Great!

[@TGFPdan]

Odysseus's wife is Penelope

[@DerFrischkopf]

45 minutes?! Thats awesome

[@dams6829]

Whow 46 minutes? I am up here for a blast.

[@shieraseastar9300]

Love these videos! Please don't stop...ever....lol! ;) (PS. Odysseus' wife was Penelope)

[@victim109]

maya stone's father was the GOAT

[@Saturos226]

Dolphins are not fish (insert autistic screeching here).

[@nunoRRsantos]

Even in the books the paste is so slow here...perfect to show the world...

[@ThePunkRock98]

Bro, love you

[@solkoselig3686]

Shwift being based at 22:20 What an absolute king

[@nunoRRsantos]

Love your content..by the way 🇵🇹🖐

[@xxdevillexx]

44:21 food description in order to describe a character

[@runareinert325]

Catfisih, omg I am laughing. Now to select a fish for alll tullys

[@Lonewolf2616]

Hercules' wife kills him with centaur blood. Not purposely, she was tricked by a centaur who told her that Hercules would love her forever if she would rub the centaur's blood on Hercules' shirt.

[@zy2zy4zy]

halliteration does start with a consonant

[@s.z8223]

"Abridged" 😂😂😂

[@mtgsight8468]

any plan to put the episodes on google music?

[@chipsandip]

I think those descriptions have more to say about the character making them and that society rather than grrm opinions

[@ArdorBlossomFindle]

Alliteration isn't to consonants what assonance is to wovels, since wovels can alliterate. All alliterations are always asinine. Of course, there is consonance, which is roughly the consonant equivalent to assonance.

[@justincoutts8748]

Imo you SHOULDA pressed the point, as earlier you accidentally pushed the opposite point. Robyn is a shit and sickly, but outside of wyllis tyrell, theres also doran martell and bran effing stark, off the top of my head. Love the series, and its parent channel, keep it up!

[@runareinert325]

Well some truth to that smiles that dont reach the eyes are fake. A true smile is a reaction of relaxing certain muscles and it can only be faked so much. Also hands close to the mouth usually means holding / back dishonest or nervous about the subject. Good people still lie at times and bad people sometimes smile lol

[@cailynmcintire4717]

Fewer snakes...

[@IvorMektin1701]

17:00 excellent advice!

[@EmonEconomist]

Are there normally raisins in a Picnic?

[@IvorMektin1701]

I was going to WhatsApp rude photos to Colombian chicas, they gotta wait for 45 minutes!

[@evasofia7142]

the way i was eating melon while listening and suddenly you say “if i had to fuck a fish” and i choked KSKSKSKSJSJS

[@katie5822]

That's why boats are named after women, it's because... eurgh.

[@madmanonsticks]

Bout to get "Would that I were a pumpkin" tattooed on me somewhere. Best sentence ever written.

[@lucinda3964]

Would a cuttlefish be a good fish to err umm love?

[@vforviblz]

these episodes are like crack

[@jaymenjanssens720]

29:55 :D

[@TheBaxHead]

yeessss

[@JYT256]

Tully is the trout, not catfish! But yeah, would still be kinda weird calling your wife a catfish. Have you seen their face whisker things. Penelope is the wife of Odysseus, and I believe it's Heracles (Hercules) wife who poisons him with centaur blood but he doesnt really get poisoned, he starts burning up and then he says fuck it and just burns his whole body. Mortal half gets burned away and he becomes a god

[@TheMercyfulEmperor]

11:57 Fewer.

[@kerrinoir]

My breasts are up under my nose, therefore, I am the best and healthiest woman.

[@thomaswillard6267]

You keep using words nd phrases that have become topical in 2020, are you a time traveler?

[@QueenDaenerysTargaryen]

I will answer injustice with justice.

[@IvorMektin1701]

Odysseus' gay lover was _Eubeninmyanus!_ 🤣

[@faisalkamal4319]

Ethic cleansing is a good idea

[@maxmustermann9058]

Dolphins are not fish! They are mammals!

[@samgilley3160]

God this chapter is a slog. Honestly the whole Catelyn/Tyrion subplot in the Vale is pretty dull.

[@Formypeople68]

This is the chapter I always skip on my reread.

[@TintedVisionMovies]

Why

[@Firmus777]

Alt mocking traditional societies is getting a bit tedious. But then again the whole series is just him speaking his mind and being chill while retelling Game of Thrones, so I don't know.

[@hairlessoyster3689]

Firmus Be Well

[@Ozepyon09]

I completely agree. It's fine to call out the short comings of a society, but with the frequency he does it...its just annoying. We get it. It would suck to live there if you weren't royal.

[@Ozepyon09]

Goddamn, the tangents commentating on the society of westeros are getting far too frequent and pedantic.